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Recall is showing signs of improvement. I'm also still biphasic, though my sleeping times are shifting a bit - I'm not actively mantaining it, but for some reason I can't seem to sleep more than four hours at a time. Time-wise that's actually good, as I need only 6-7 hours of sleep this way instead of the 9-10 I normally sleep. Anyway I don't have anything particularly good to tell you at this point, so I'll share this quick dream from 2009 again:

America's Next Top Model
Date: August 11th, 2009
Lucid: No

I was a competitor in the show, and in fact, I had made it to the last three. I am a guy though. Pretty inconceivable even with my long golden hair and angelic face.

Most of the show was just sitting in the sofa for me. Instead of the standard elimination I was just handed a letter that I had been eliminated. Well that sucks. In the letter Tyra tried to console me by saying that I am a "teen". I was 21 at the time... That said, it appeared that the word had a different meaning for her. Judging by the rest of the letter she meant more like stubborn and she was happy that I had been like that.

Then the dream cut to much later. I was in home and watching the show I was in. Some of the judges were saying that I have awfully thick lips. C'mon, they're not that thick. Besides, wouldn't that be a good thing? Then the screen cut to an edited version of a picture of me where the lips had been photoshopped even thicker! Come on! Then other judge said that "such a pervert couldn't even win the competition". Well yeah, I'm a pervert, but how would they know it? Does thick lips mean pervert?

All in all a total brainfuck of a dream.

Lost my enthusiasm and ability for lucid dreaming. Very poor dream recall has been the main culprit as well as other distractions.


Will be using this journal to get back to where I was and improve upon that, and hopefully have a really good lucid career

I am outside our house. It is summer. I am writing some music. I listen what it sounds like and it sounds good. The tomatoes we were growing in the summer are there. I touch one of the tomatoes and notice they all have gone bad. I become lucid. I decide to do the 1900s TotY. I jump into the air and start to fly. The sky turns black and I'm in space. I see a spiral galaxy (Milky Way?) in front of me. In the spiral arms there are numbers for different decades. I go nearer towards the beginning of the 20th century. Now I have a tape measure in my hand. I look for 1900. I get there. I appear in a castle. There is an unfinished painting in front of me. I start painting, but then I realise that I've come to the 12th century. I even have a 12th century outfit on. I try to get to the year 1900. I close my eyes and try to teleport, but it wakes me up.

In a second dream I am also in our front yard. In this dream I had travelled back in time to 2008 with my family and ended up in wild west. A friend of mine had also been there. When we got out of the house in which we were accommodating, it turned into our house. I had just realised that I shouldn't go near my friend because he might notice that I am 4 years older. So, we are in our front yard looking at several Moons when I become lucid. Again I jump into the sky and get the tape measure in my hand. Now I search for 1900. I find it and teleport. My eyes are shut. A voice tells me that I should get a confirmation that I have arrived at the right place. Someone takes my hand. I become aware of my body... and wake up.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

I just had two dreams before I woke up.

In the first dream I was at a friends house trying to work up the nerve to talk to this girl I really like. Her name is : C
The only thing I can remember is we were stitting around hanging out. My brother D was there as were several other people I did not recognize, two black guys, and Don. Don was trying to spit game at C and I reacted and punched him in the face. He crumpled to the ground and this time I picked him up and slammed him to the ground again.
(For some reason C was no longer present after this.) One of the 2 black dudes got up and said "go for the knife rack", I quickly grabbed 2 knives of my own and attempted to defend myself but I was caught and they cut me on my arms several times before letting me go. I ran out of the house pissed off that they got the better of me . That is when I noticed C and a few other people pull up. I started to ignore them and go to my house, but I couldn't resist and I confronted C. Memory fades on what she said exactly but it border along the lines of "I'm sorry, I know you like me, but I won't break up with him for you." I was bummed out and asked "Who?" that was about the time I woke up.

It should be mentioned that the majority of the dream took place at the neighbors house I grew up next to.


The next dream was a little mixed.

I started out in my grandmothers backyard the way I remember it growing up. I cannot remember the majority of the first portion of this dream other than to say It had something to do with me professing my love for another friends long time girlfriend only to realize I meant it for C. The second half was especially bizarre. I don't know where we were but by all observation it looked like a school. I once again cannot remember the first things that happened. What I do remember is being in love with this certain girl and trying to please her. A woman at the school helped me (though I cannot remember how) to get the girl to like me. The next thing that happened was incredibly strange. The headmaster of the school began rounding everyone up. Some were to stay and others would be put on boats, ships really, to go to who knows where. I was standing in the hallway when all of a sudden a man came from behind and, without a word, began to lead me through the chaos of the halls and into a boat under the hull in a secret hiding place. It seems strange even to me that I would let this man, whom I do not know, lead me somewhere I don't know I am going. However for some reason I had a feeling that this man was pure good and that he was saving me for whatever holocaust was sure to come to me for staying at the school. Indeed even as the headmaster took one final look at the boat before it set sail from his school, I glanced up and out and caught sight of him- looking more than vaguely like Adolph Hitler. As we began to sail away I faded to black and next thing I remember was standing with the girl I so adored outside of a bunker in the dark somewhere. I was confused why we were there and when I asked the girl told me that we were looking for "Her", the woman from the school who helped me "get the girl" so to speak. I felt a presence of danger for some reason so I grabbed two hammers off the wall and readied myself for whatever happens next. Now memory fails me again and the next thing I remember is the fact that the woman revealed that she and the girl were related. When asked "How?" by the girl, she responded: " They said you couldn't have your child so I had it for you " The dream then ends without any resolution other than that sentence. I will say that I had the eerie feeling that the woman was not normal and was either dead or never truly alive to begin with.

I should probably note that the girl "C" I refer to is a girl I have had a crush on for 4 years. We have never been together though at one point I revealed some of my feelings for her. I rarely talk to her now but I think about her everyday.

Lost dream
Non-Lucid: I was somewhere outdoors. I don't remember what I was doing, who I was with (if anyone) or why.
Awake: I wake up and lose the memory of the dream after attempting the second WILD.

WILD attempt #1
Awake: Wake up from my alarm, get out of bed and walk to my door. As I open it I remember it isn't a school day and remember why I woke up so early on a Sunday. Go back to bed but fall asleep.

In the Cafeteria
Non-Lucid: I was in my high schools cafeteria looking through a pamphlet, or maybe a year book. I came across an odd group that was named something along the lines of "school year-book porn". I thought this was odd, but continued in non-lucidity. After talking to some people (I don't remember this part of the dream but I feel like I know it happened) I woke up.

WILD Attempt #2
Awake: I wake up around 8 A.M. and it's fairly bright out but it shouldn't matter much, my window is small. I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. I count every breath I take.
Hypnotic Hallucinations?: First sign of HH I start seeing green strips of light going across my left eye (don't ask me how I know, I just know it was only my left one). My arms and legs go numb and feel heavy. Now the green strips turn into large green rings that quickly shrink, only one visible at a time, all appear and shrink in the same spot. There is a bubbling sound, like after you flush a toilet, it goes on for awhile but I don't know if it was real or part of the hallucinations. I feel something in my hand, it feels like someone is rolling a spherical object in it. My heart rate quickens and I remember to take deep breaths, it won't work if I get excited. The rings stop and turn into little balls coming from the right and falling eventually (still green, still one at a time) I start seeing a white glare coming from the bottom, but I think it was just my eyes opening a bit. After this goes on for a bit the rings come back and I can feel just how heavy my arms and legs are.
Awake: Everything except the numbness goes away and I decide that either I'm in a dream or I've failed. I open my eyes and count my fingers. Eleven... recount... ten. I try to push one hand through the other, no dice. Pinch my nose and breathe, nothing. But at least I got to HH, maybe I was just too awake.

I was learning to drive and i was indicating left, but i wanted to turn right. I realised this just as the lights changed and got really angry with myself.

my first dream was in a friends house. it was as if we were younger and had the house to ourselfs, the were 4 of us and we were just having a laugh amoungst ourselves. there was ony guy with us that i have never liked and i started fighting with him and i ended up smashin him, i was talking to one of my mates and he was dissapointed but i dindt really care as if he wanted me to prove a point. then we started laughing about different clothes that we wore.

another dream was that i went to boxing for a bit of training and in the gym there were quite a few people but i cant remember any bags. i started to jog round the gym for a warm up but every time i ran round it would get smaller and there were benches in the gym that reminded me of the ones we had in school. i sat down as it was pretty cramped, i was talking to someone next to me and showing them my new gloves, i decided i would go outside for a jog but when i went outside i woke up. at some point i was focused on my gloves because the name that is printed on them was spelt wrong.

Color Code: Non Lucid: Red , Lucid: Blue

This dream was short and weird, all i remember is running around some sort of shopping centre trying to get alcoholic drinks for free... weird right! then my friends were partying in their and it turned into some sort of club! thats all i can rememeber.

Still yet to have a lucid dream.

(I went Zante, summer last year.)

1-10-12

Nothing much. At one point, I was talking to this old guy, and later I was at a weird sort of musical instrument store. Not weird enough to warrant question, but how the guitars were arranged was weird.

Well, damn... another night where I don't remember anything... I'm going to have to focus better tonight to remember something!

I was at a very nice cafeteria, with dark wood flooring and good slightly dim lighting. There were two levels, the lower one was a open room with a few tables, and the second raised one held a few tables with the food and all that. I wasn't that hungry so I asked for three brownies, but I got convinced into buying some chicken. I was suddenly, very hungry... I sat down with a group of people, one I recognized. I ate quickly and was soon finished. When I went back up to ask if they were done, I for some reason turned around. On the lower level a girl bought something, and I wanted to buy whatever it was too. I turned around, the girl that originally was making brownies and serving me chicken was gone. Replaced buy three guys that looked very cocky. I asked to buy whatever it was, I think it was a bracelet or something. I paid the ten dollars and opened it up. What the hell? Earrings!?!? I asked to return them. "Heh, no refunds!" Frustrated, I asked if my brownies were finished. "Haha! You missed it!" I bought more chicken, sat at a different table, and ate.

16th Recalled Dream of 2012

Summer in new home
Non-lucid: I was wearing typical summer clothes (khaki shorts and a black t-shirt) in our new house which we haven't had a summer in yet.
I was in the living room with my brother next to me, but I don't recall which one. The living room was a slightly different shape and lacking some furniture, but the color, shape, and location were the same. My brother and I weren't talking, just standing there looking out the window. Was a nice day out, sunny and warm. The dream goes on but that's all that I remember.

Group in a field
Non-lucid: I was walking in a field. Nothing special about the field that stood out, just some grass and trees. It was a cloudy day and ahead of me was a group of people. Some of them I recognized even though none were facing me. Someones pants fell down and then my alarm went off.

After 911 and the first plane hit i was watching it on the news as I got ready for work. On the way into work i was listening to the radio "Howard Stern" was on reading all of the items needed donated to help rescue all of the people in this tragedy.

I was hearing things like Ace Bandages, bottled H20, power bars, Gatorade, Saline solution, dog food etc. So i was having these thoughts in my head that i was going to go door to door and start asking for donations and deliver them to NYC myself. I started to chuckle out loud and was like "Yea right I am not going to NYC, I have never been there, I have no $, I don't even have a truck to fit anything in"....excuses really.

All of a sudden in my car i was hearing "You will be going", me replying with "No I am not" again "Yes you will" and I'll be damned if I did not walk into my job (Ruby Tuesday's which i was a hostess at and had only worked there 2 weeks) went up to my manager and explained what had happened on my journey to work that morning. I even got a free tattoo just because of what I did.

My manager had totally surprised me and said "Go for it!" If you need to leave now go ahead so I typed up a list of items that were needed for people to donate, took that as a start and walked right over to Wal-Mart across the street and talked to their manager who ended up giving me two $100 gift cards. I kept going and I had people handing me $$ for gas, I went to a local Automobile dealership and he donated $2000 to American Red Cross.

It just kept blossoming from there, I was on the radio, TV stations were talking about it, I had contact U-Haul in Streetsboro, Ohio and spoke to the manager there and told him what i was doing. In our conversation he asked me if i knew someone, I mentioned his wife was my manager. This manager says well her husband is the General Manager of this U-Haul and offered me a truck for free. When I told him I didn't have a clue how i was going to do this because I had never been to NYC he said his Dad worked not too far from NYC and would gladly help me drive there and also brought 2 of his employees. I had went back to work and by then 2 girls I was working with offered to come along too so all 6 of us made the trip 5 days later we left at midnight and arrived at 9am. Now my name is Kelly, the names of the 2 girls offering to join me were Charity and Kelly. Ok maybe a coincidence but wow.

So when we finally arrived to New York as we were driving across the GW Bridge you could still see the smoke rising from the Twin Towers. It was a very Surreal and Somber visit. The whole city was completely QUIET, not at all like the movies or TV. It had hit everyone so hard that even 5 days later everyone was still in shock.

By this time so many people had donated supplies that the whole baseball stadium was full and i kept getting turned away at all of the drop off locations for 3 hours i searched and no luck. I was not going to give up though so i pulled over got out of the vehicle and walked up to a police officer, explained i drove from Ohio and was not going to return with these donations. He then spoke to his Sergeant and immediately removed all of the barricades from blocking a road. He escorted us to the NYPD Police Academy and had all of the cadets search our truck and unload all of our donations. It was the most coolest moment of my life.

They offered all 6 of us cots to rest on, (the same cots all of the fireman, policemen, rescuers etc. rested on) offered us a shower, tooth brush , lunch, even the snipers on top of the roof gave us all a NYPD hat and T-Shirt and thanked us for delivering these donations. I was just taken back by this whole life changing experience that I never would have witnessed if I hadn't listened.

We drove around and toured the area a bit before heading back home By this time the U-haul guys already left and went home but I just couldn't leave I needed to get a feel of this place for a little bit so we stayed. Unfortunately we even could smell the death in the air but I got to meet some wonderful people, people I will never ever forget.

But there is even more wonderful things to say about this whole thing.

3 years later a relative of mine met someone online in NJ, asked me if i would take them there and I did. This was in 2003. When we got there we were so close to NYC that i decided to go back, drive around the area I had gotten to know back then even went back to that NYPD academy. I walked into the doors of the Police department and sitting at the main desk was one of those people I said I wouldn't forget. That same Sergeant was there, He looked up at me and said "Aren't you that girl from Ohio who brought us donations?" I just stood there and cried, he walked over to me and gave me a hug. I even got signatures from the pics i took in 2001 because I brought that album with me.

A little history, My mother was raised basically by her Aunt and Grandmother. I knew only Aunt Dot growing up but she passed away when i was a child in Elementary school. At age 30-31 i had a visit from her. She had told me that I need to make sure that my Mother made it to this years family reunion. I went back and crawled up on my Mother's lap and was just crying to her because it scared me to death. I didn't know if i was going crazy, if it was the drugs i had done in my youth or what. I was a bit freaking out and i told my Mother about this vision. I say vision because i have had many throughout my life.

My Mother had informed me at this time that Her Aunt as well as my Mother had these abilities. These "Special ways" of either knowing something is going to happen or Something has already happened. I had realized my two sisters, my cousin and myself also had these same abilities but never spoken to my Mother about them before this. Now i wasn't sounding so crazy all of a sudden. Well she also had told me that it ran in our family and the 3rd born female had stronger powers or abilities. I am the 3rd daughter.

The odd part about this vision is my Mother was upset with me wanting to bring a male friend with me that she didn't approve of and felt embarrassed by and would not attend this years family reunion if i brought him. I decided after this visit from her Aunt that I needed to stay home so she could go.

I had witnessed my Mother shed many tears over her Aunt passing and how when she had died she had left nothing from her childhood to be given back to her and it had hurt her badly especially the bed she grew up sleeping in.

Anyways, my Mother returned from this reunion. She had returned with about 5 items from my Aunt. One of her favorites is a Rooster cookie jar. She still shows it with pride. Thank you Aunt Dot for making my Mother happy that day.

14.01.2012

In Multiplayer First Person Shooter and Meeting Ginger Lady/Redhead

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Afternoon nap (~2:12 PM- 4:30 PM) I was doing another test run of IamCoder's FIELD method.

Dream 1:

I was in some kind of video game type field. Everything was first-person perspective, and I felt like I was playing it rather than being in it because I had some trouble aiming with the arrow keys. The environment was dark, but it had some lighted floors with mostly an assortment of just cool colors (blue, purple, green, etc)

(I remember I had to aim with the arrow keys for MGS2 on the PC)

At first, I sucked and died a lot because other DCs started to kill the character I was playing, but eventually I got the hang of it and just started to do what you call a "Spray and Pray" (you literally spam the shit out of your weapon and pray you hit someone within any radius of you).

The gun I had was pretty bulky and had no form, but it was probably because of my vision in the dream. It was smooth, and when I was aiming, there was a red dot to help with precision, so I was more focused getting the red dot on an enemy and start to spam shoot the weapon.


(Aiming down was kind of like the picture above, with the red dot sight, except the enemies weren't like the guards there.

Then I think DCs just started to use their hands instead of actual weapons. I go up some ramp, and I don't know much of what I did, but I do know that when I got up there, there was this lady on the floor.

I'm puzzled because she looks like she's going to pass out, and she's actually on my team because some DCs were like "Come on...Come one!" or something like that.

I bend my knees to where they land near the sides of her stomach, got closer and braced my body on her chest, looked deeply in her eyes as she looks at me as if she needs air or something.

I think DCs were covering the both of us, and the lady had ginger hair (redhead if you will, but not actual red hair, just the term). She was fairly old (I'd said mid 30s to late 30s), I swore she looked like Tiffany Mynx, except she just had lighter hair than her, more of an orange to her.



I put my lips on her, and she literally sucks out all the air inside of me that I had before I could exhale! She comes back feeling good again, and we were doing some random things I can't remember, probably shooting down enemies. But I did feel a little queasy in the dream after she sucked a bit of my air out. It kind of felt good, but it was weird at the same time. It was just weird/kinky.

I wake up because I was a bit freaked out by her sucking out the air of me, I don't think it was anything external I wasn't aware of in waking life, it really felt like she sucked a portion of my air to get some energy back.

Everything was kind of blurry, so I don't want to be too sure of myself.

I said to myself before I slept that I would meet the lady in red in the dream before this one. But I guess seeing the look-a-like was because I was watching a XXX video of Tiffany before hand :X

College life.........xD