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Couple of dream fragments before I woke up:

It all begins with this girl (let's call her V initial letter) V contacting me in some sort of modern way (phone, inet, some dreamish version of tecnology) and telling that she waits for my answer to some conversation she's put up. Like there is some new community-project / forum up that I'm not aware of. She's tried to contact me before for it and I've been like avoiding all the ways anyone can reach me. It's all political or aware in wrongs of modern world. I'm telling her that I've been trying to dodge those kind of projects for I'm going to live this country and those project should't be depadent on me.

..then there's this haze part and dreamsift..

I'm telling her that I should put up 'profile' about me always waking in the same body and different hotel room (I've been travelling outside my home city, not really living in hotels though). I'm playing with words like Hotel Self and Hotel Flesh.. ok, first I came up with two these words, after them I started to think about waking up to them. So I guess I reached atleast semilucidity at that point... So I come up to either Waking in Hotel Flesh or Waking up to Hotel Self.

Then there is this fragment where she wonders about her psychedelic history and comes up with rye bread and actual fungus Ergot starting it at some past century... This fragment might also have been before previous one, or surronding it.. don't know how it's with you but to time some parts of dream a hard to put into linearity.. it's like they exist outside of time or then some fragments get repeated or dejavued in dreams.. Then she feels totally guilty for forcing me into lone wandering life in lonesome hotels realising that I'm sort of like her DC that she hadn't had time for. So I'm just left with uneventual life with almost no-one contacting me. And she also only contacted me for project she has in mind for me. In undertone it's not all about dream put also her feeling that my lifesituation and lack of happiness is her fault. She says she'll change that. I tell that I'm going to oppose her doings, so that she would realise that world doesn't circle around her. So I'm gonna enjoy my lonely hotel.


Shortly after this I wake up

In reality I'm going abroad this spring and I've been travelling my home country for about three weeks now. Today I'm meeting girl called V, who I haven't seen for over 6 years. Girl in my dream wasn't this V but her namesake who I've met at later point of my life. V of dream was visiting my hometown (where I'm not) yesterday and my friends from there had parties at our place which is quite big house. V of dream did drag me to some political or aware project before she got bregnant. Also the V I'm meeting quite soon has children now. I haven't yet seen either of them with kids, which is going change today. (I saw V of this dream when she was very long with her pregnancy, so it's not so hard to think her as mother.. althought in dream she most certainly was outside mother-role)

I was not even planning to get into the LD, but I became conscious in a dream. I immediately applied deepening, but since I didn't have a plan, I had to act according to the circumstances. I decided to have sex and i did. Thou, I knew, that every Lucid Dream, in which i have sex, ends very quickly (understandable). But this was a huge exception. After about 3 mins or so of having sex, I started talking with different characters of my subcounscious. I enjoyed each conversation, while drifting to sleep. My normal dream starts here. It was crazy. I've dreamed that my sex partner, from the previous LD, accused me of raping her and all LD characters I had talked with, knew what we had talked about in real life. It was terrible. I felt like every secret of mine is being leaked from the dream world into the real world. That huge fear and disappointment drifted me into another LD of that night. I've tried everything that I had in my mind, I even got bored so what I did was: flying as fast as possible into the atmosphere and falling back to the Earth slowly slowly. It was very long Lucid Dream. I got drifted back into sleep again. Into the same creepy dream. It was as scary as it could possibly be and I got another LD (3rd), which ended with me waking up finally.

I can honestly say, that this night was one of the longest nights i have ever had. It was as awesome as it was terrible.

My alarm clock on my phone broke (don't ask how that happened), so lately I've been trying to wake up after 6 hours of sleep without any kind of device to help me. And I succeeded today. I woke up, went to the bathroom and went back to sleep. The thought of counscious awakening was going through my head as I drifted into the dream. I managed to exit that dream, so I woke up without moving. And then I had to face my biggest enemy - loud noises (my family was up very early preparing to go to work and they were shouting for no good reason). I decided not to let this chance slip away and performed techniques. it worked immediately. I ended up in the Lucid Dream.

After succesfully entering Lucid Dream I immediately performed deepening. My plan was to try shapeshifting and turn into a wolf. I tried imagining myself becoming one and started running on my hands and legs like a dog, but I failed, so I tried again. After few unsuccessful tries, I started hearing loud noises and thought that it was my parents, so I had to do something. I performed deepening, but still... I lost control and woke up. i tried to re-enter but I failed.

I was on my one and a half weak dry spell and I was not trying to get into the Lucid Dream. But I broke my dry spell, by becoming counscious within a dream. Once I understood that I am in the LD, I immediately tryed to do deepening, but I failed and got thrown back into my body. Refusing to surrender, I somehow managed to reenter my dream. I performed deepening and carried on my plan.

My plan was to talk with my subcounscious and ask for my talent and quick way to earn money. After calling my dream character to talk with me, I started conversation. It was very strange conversation, because she kept asking non related things which I can't remember. After, finally, asking question I wanted to ask, she answered: "Eating". She said it and nothing more after that. That's when my phase ended, after about 10 minutes of being in it.

Dream Character that appeared to talk with me:

Oh, she is beautiful.

First

I’m in a city, walking a road downhill. There is someone else with me. I hear a woman scream down the hill. It’s cold and slippery and she has fallen. She complains about her wrist, but her elbow is dislocated. I pull it a bit and it pops back in.

Second

I’m in a forest, walking on a path. There is a camping centre, I apparently have a room there, and I go in. I share my room with another person, vaguely familiar. I remember a task that I have, there are five rings that I need to destroy, and I need to do something after that. I have already found three, so there are two left. This is some kind of a game.

I notice one of the five people carrying the rings. I grab his hand and see that he has several rings. I recognize the one that I need, though, and just grab them all. I run outside and throw the other rings around to slow the person down. There is a clay oven and I throw the ring there. When the person reaches me, the ring is already gone, and he seems a bit disappointed that he lost it so easily.

So there is still one ring left. I don’t remember who has it, but I have written the names down on a piece of paper in my back. I return to my room to have a look.

Well... let my mind run me on this LD, attempted a WILD before the LD, pretty sure it was a DILD.

I'm in a sunny medow, there is moped next to me, small, red and really slow.
I jump on the moped and begin to ride up the hill, there is a series of train tracks ahead of me, although I do not realise I'm dreaming yet my usual narative is going on.
"Train coming down the ..... track"
I quickly go past that one, approaching the next one I begin to realise the narative,
"Something's not right here, I'm dreaming aren't I..."
I attempt the finger through palm RC but it wont work, I really tried hard on that one.
I see a mushroom on the floor, I want to give myself superpowers so I begin to eat it. It's disgusting.
Everything goes purple, my vision fades in very slowly, but it's still very blury.
I'm in my bedroom, I know somethings wrong, I hear a voice in my head when I look towards the door.
"There's no way to escape, if you try you will die"
Me logically thinking, I go to the door and attempt to escape...
Turning right to go into my parents bedroom a force pulls me back, I struggle at first but I give up after a short time.
I allow myself to float down the stairs into an area in my house that I don't realise, there are strange objects there but I wake up before being able to observe further.

Well, still can't remember anything. Stress has really been getting to me, but hopefully I'll have a dream tonight.

February 2, 2012

Synopsis: I witness a strange tribal rite of passage that left a child unloved by her parents. Lucid, I jump into a golden swamp with swimming deer and trash.

Tribal Rites and Swamp Swimming Deers
Inside a hotel room, me and a reporter get a first look at an ancient tribal rite of passage from Africa. A young female teenager, naked, sits supported on top of a boys back. She slowly dances using only her upper torso while the boy crawls around with his head tucked into his chest. It was a wierd visual effect, making it look like she had six legs. The dim lights helped with the eerieness.

The dance is over and now the rest of the female teenagers line up to have their bodies inspected by an elder in the tribe. To do so, they strip off their bathing suits. I was talking to the reporter and we both agreed that technically none of the girls were afraid to be naked because this was a nudist tribe, they were only wearing bathing suits because we were in a hotel.

A mother is so proud of her daughter, its like the kids just graduated. Just when I thought the ritual was over I noticed two girls quickly squat down on command, in front of the elder. They were completed folded over, with their foreheads to their knees and their hands tucked in.

But somethings wrong, their backs are completely flat, and so is the back of their heads. Its like something squashed them. They were squished into table shaped people. What could do this? Then I realized their backs were being used as the ground for the ritual, and after so many years, their backs flattened. The elder rearranges them like boxes and yells at one of the girls to stand up.

The reporter was recording the entire event.

The box-girl wanted to perform the rite of passage herself. But before she can even try she's insulted by her own parents for being too fat and ugly. She frowns and chokes back her tears. At this point the reporter says 'Im sorry, I have to stop, her expression is too sour" and walks out the room. The parents insult the girls hideousness some more, then summons everyone to dinner.

I was horrified and pissed off! Magically at this point the family went from black to white.

The family was eating dinner in a private restuarant they rented out. I remember the father screaming at the hungry reporter "Family only!" I had something to say to that man that could make him choke.

"What are you standing there for, youre family too, come on eat J"

I didn't say anything and just left myself. I waited for what felt like hours for the family to finish their over priced meal. I snuck in, into the hotel room of the sleeping girls. I found the "ugly" girl, her hair was curly like mine but softer and lighter in color (like mom). She had a frown even while dreaming. I whispered softly to her

"Not matter what your parents say or think, you will grow up to be the most beautiful"

Then her frown changed into a smile and she continued to dream sweetly. I felt like my dream mission was done, which made me realize - hey Im dreaming.

Excited to be lucid I run around looking for something to do. A whole laundry lists of dream tasks pops into mind. Maybe I should do that, maybe this. I found a library. Maybe that can offer me intriguing information about the subconscious, nah that sounds like it'll take forever. So I continue running. Then I find an air hockey table. But playing made my dream abstract. Afraid it'll make my dream unstable, I stopped playing and looked for something more useful.

Thats when I finally find a door out of the hotel.

Outside was a swampy marshland, with golden grass growing in the water, and golden water shimmering with the morning sun.

"THAT!" I was so excited I couldn't even finish my sentance, but I found what my lucid dream was about.

I noticed deer were swimming in the swamp, with only their heads above the water. So its deeper than it looks. I dive on in! The water feels so real it makes me think for a moment that maybe ive lost my mind and im really awake. Its cold. Its slimy. It smells like a swamp smells, and theres a dead frog floating next to me.

Im grossed out but I remind myself its just a dream and im not going to get any diseases. I swim with the swamp deer for a few minutes. The waves grow and grow. The height of the waves covered my view, hiding the human boats on the other side creating them. We were almost run over. Its so hard to swim fast! Giant boxes and random items float our way atop the waves. It felt like the humans were trying to corner the deer. It was working. Scared, the deer swim away to the other end of the swamp where the water was shallow. Theres a fence and more boxes preventing them from fleeing.

I look at the humans on their boats and im pretty mad at them for ruining my swamp. Then I wake up.

I remember dreaming about D....he was using an Iphone......then I'm in my bed. I can't move. I try fighting it by moving one arm....it's moving. I focus on the next arm...it's moving as well. Then all of a sudden, both arms are where they started. In reality, they haven't moved an inch. In fact, the only thing that has moved are my eyes. They're open, and I've stopped hallucinating about weird stuff....I can see my actual room at this point. I try it again, and wake up. And yes...my room and the position looks exactly the same.

On that note, I need to start relaxing again whenever iI get SP...I feel like a noob again almost. I've missed a ton of LD's because of it.

I remember dreaming about D....he was using an Iphone......then I'm in my bed. I can't move. I try fighting it by moving one arm....it's moving. I focus on the next arm...it's moving as well. Then all of a sudden, both arms are where they started. In reality, they haven't moved an inch. In fact, the only thing that has moved are my eyes. They're open, and I've stopped hallucinating about weird stuff....I can see my actual room at this point. I try it again, and wake up. And yes...my room and the position looks exactly the same.

On that note, I need to start relaxing again whenever iI get SP...I feel like a noob again almost. I've missed a ton of LD's because of it.

DJ Log: February 2, 2012 – 11:15PM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I am clicking around the 'net and almost fall asleep in my chair. I decide that I should hop in bed and take a quick nap. The time is ~9:45pm. I lay down and fall asleep very quickly.

I awaken from a minimalistic dream, standing in darkness. I realize that I had just awakened, but I must still have my eyes closed because I cannot see anything at all. Knowing this, I decide to make an attempt at DEILD. I concentrate on keeping my eyes closed and then I try to remember where I was just a moment ago. I remember that I was laying in my bed, trying to remember what the dream was about. I cannot recall even the smallest detail, other than I was just dreaming.

Suddenly, I make the realization that I am not laying in my bed, but I am standing. Before I can gather myself together and stabilize, I wake up.

I try hard to immediately settle down, but my eyes are wide open and I am too alert and excited to re-enter the dream state, much less return to sleep right away.

I woke up this morning, feeling groggy and my eyes didn't want to open. I brought my fingers up to my nose and pinched my nostrils shut, then took a deep breath. I felt the air fill my lungs. I was instantly aware. Alright! FalseAwakening! I jumped out of bed with eagerness and opened the curtains, it was dark out. I rubbed my hands together and examined the room. "Well, time to visit my dream harem" I thought to myself. I walked down the hall and out the front door. Instinctively blocking the cat from bolting out of the house.

I stepped out on the front porch and looked around. It was quiet, a few leaves rolled across the ground with the help of the wind. I looked into the sky. To the east it was dark and the stars shimmered. To the west, it was bright and blue, with big white fluffly clouds that slowly moved across the clear blue sky. "No time to waste" I thought to myself. I strolled across the street where my dream harem was so conveniently located.

I opened the door, and walked in. I looked around. Nothing... No one to be seen. I checked the backrooms. They were all empty. I walked back through the house toward the front door. No point in sticking around here. I opened the front door to walk out. What is this?

I stepped out of the front door into a mall. Now I know I'm dreaming... I hate the mall. "Really!?!?" I said. I looked over the glass barrier. I was looking down at the food court. It was full of people sitting around and eating. Maybe I'll go get something to eat, I'm feeling hungry. I changed my mind, I knew what I could do. I glanced around at the store fronts. Clothing... Shoes... Pets... Hmmm, this looks intresting...

I walk into the store. The smell of burning incense filled the air. Blacklight posters covered the walls. The shelves are full of miscellaneous items. I walk by the register with a DC staring at me. I gave him the finger and then walked down the aisle. Mugs... Computers... Hand sanitizer... Here we are, fireworks. I look over the selection, I picked up some blackcats. "Lady fingers there has to be something better than this" I thought. I looked back down at the shelf then smiled. I dropped the blackcats and picked up something that should have been illegal even in my own mind. A long string of firecrackers, each cracker seemed to be about the size of a stick of dynamite. This will do...

I walked back towards the front of the store, knocking a few things off the shelves on my way. I stopped at the register, and grabbed a lighter from the display. I gave the DC clerk the finger once more. I strolled back to the mezzanine and looked over the side. Still full of people mindlessly chattering and eating. I went to light the Dynacrackers, the fuse was already lit. "Hmmm, that's not safe". I smiled, and then threw them over the side to the center of the food court. I looked down and waited.

They started going off, there was no sound, but the sight was spectacular. DCs were being blown across the food court. French Fries, hamburgers, and pizza flying along side the DCs. Broken chairs and tables now littered the food court. The floors were charred with large gray and black burn marks. I could smell gun powder in the air. Chaos and destruction, my job here was done. All this mayhem really stimulated my appetite. I decided to go down, and see if there was any food left. I woke up on my way to the escalator.

I am lying on the couch in the outside room, reading, when I hear my dad say something along the lines of "come eat, little rabbit." I become angry, as my pet dwarf rabbit passed away a few weeks ago and I assume my dad to be purposely trying to upset me. As I get up though, I see through the glass door a rabbit that resembles my deceased pet. I walk outside and see there are at least six tiny dwarf rabbits scurrying about the backyard. Half of them are white with brown spots, while the others have the grey fur that my pet had. I am overcome with joy as I realise that she must have bred with another rabbit and given birth before she died. I look around to see the rabbits nibbling on the grass, one is trying to dig a hole in the soil, and another one comes up to me. This one is a lot furrier than the rest, and I think to myself that it looks as though it has a fluffy hair-do.

I am not a lucid dreamer. Just a regular dreamer.

Last night I dreamt that something had given me the capacity to experience everything as perfect. So if I saw a book, the next time I opened it, every paragraph would be 100% perfect. Every moment could either be what it was, or perfect, which apparently wasn't that different to what it was before. However, there could only be one perfect. Only one way in which things could manifest as perfection. The passage of time meant that things still changed continuously, in a relative sense, in response to my curiosity. At first I was quite satisfied with this perfect version, finding it in every way superior to the old. After a while though, I sensed that perfection took ''me'' right out of the equation. It was perfect, but impersonal, and in that sense limiting. I woke up with the weird understanding that perfection somehow impeded creativity. It couldn't be both. It couldn't be both creative, and perfect.

There was a lot more to it, but I can't remember.

My friend comes and hands me a cupcake aswell as my friends. I look at it for a second and then it hits me like a bus. I feel dizzy and then like I was held upside down then swung around. The source of the feeling was coming from the burning candle on the cupcake which was getting me high. Someone noticed us her away aswell as the cupcakes .
finn