All DJ Entries

Decent dreams, had full lucidity in the last dream:

Ape monster went crazy and destroyed the city, followed me back to my grandparents place, whole scenario took a 180 turn and became a party of some sort. full lucidity at my grandparents place. Ate some flowers there, tasted fresh and crisp, like a good apple but no apple flavor. tried to eat more food but it all looked unappetizing. Went into the common room and saw my family there, all seemingly talking and enjoying the party.

First time actually eating in a dream, will try to do it more since it was interesting.
No clue what caused the king kong look alike to rampage but I know the party thing is related to this week since we are going to the oldies' place for Easter-egg hunting.
And drinking

Well, well, well, I figured out my old password! I thought I might never get back in, not knowing how to access the old email account I used when I signed up here.

Turns out, you aren't supposed to make alt accounts for any reason, so I guess I'll be banned for a while (I turned myself in to the authorities). But I feel like I've gone back in time now. My old dream journal and everything!

Trying to get back into the groove of dreaming. A few interesting patterns I have seen lately:

(1) Secret rooms and passages at my Grandfather's old house...maybe related to the fact that when I was little and spent time there, I was fascinated by secret passages and would try to find them. But why dream about them specifically in recent years?

(2) The character Servalan, from the British sci-fi show Blakes 7, still seems to show up from time to time. I watched that show a couple of years ago - she seems quite persistent. But I also watched the show in my old apartment and while I was still in school, and there may be some memory associations there.

(3) There seems to be something related to an underwater place, or people that live underwater. Rather intriguing.

Going home tomorrow for 2 days. I'm exhausted.

Jamie

Directly after posting my last entry. Me and Jamie were sitting on the floor facing one another. My hands in hers. We were discussing the seriousness what I said. She seemed to be as serious as me.

Fight

Me and Jamie were walking around in a building somewhere. There were people in sleeping bags on the floor. Some guy was arguing with me. He wanted to get violent. I somehow talked him into not being violent towards me. He got mad and punched someone in a sleeping bag. I went around the corner and told Jamie that we were calling the police on that guy.

I guess the guy heard what I said. In a flash he was fighting me. For a few moves I used his aggression against him. This made him more mad. He got me on the floor and I was trying to hold him back. I can't remember what happened after.

Ladder

Just a dream of working. I was high up a ladder. It started to tip over when I tried to get down. That's all I remember.

Been trying to get back into it for the spring comp.

Was having a classic 'back in school' type dream. I am in the classroom of my 11th grade English class. That specific classroom seems to be a particular favorite of my subcon for reasons I'm not really sure. But I am taking a science test of some form, mostly multiple choice but there are a few written response type questions. It has 59 questions total and there is some weird way you are supposed to fill out the test on two separate pieces of paper, something which I have not done correctly.

I finish and turn in the test, then get out my laptop at my desk. The teacher comes back around and says that I haven't done the test correctly and will likely get a low grade. This brings in an artificially inflated sort of anxiety which is enhanced when I notice that it is sometime in the year 2021.

I do a nose pinch RC and recognize that this is a dream. I get up to leave the classroom and then wake up.

Sleep: 12:28AM-11AM (10hr32m)
Detail: 107 words.

I had a lot of success last night using the morning nap method with 7 hours initial sleep time and about 20 minutes wake time. I'll be testing the same parameters today. Since I didn't really have a plan before here is what I will attempt:

1 - The Pre-Flight Check: I will use the acronym EVM (Engage-Verbalize-Memory) to help recall what I need to do at the start of lucidity.
2 - Change Text: I want to see if I can change text into something specific, the same way I practice RCs all the time.
3 - Teleport using a screen or door.


Pre-WBTB

I-Beams:
I'm at my brother's house with some others. We're watching him play a computer game in the office.
My Dad arrives and it is a bit of a surprise. We hadn't expected him to show up this soon.
They discuss that the weak point in the roof is up in the top-left corner from where we are.
My Dad talks about how he had to make an extra I-beam to reinforce the area.
My brother talks about how that area is the most likely to cave in and drop stones.
I reflect about how terrifying it would be to have stones fall in from a broken roof.

Post-WBTB

No recall... boo!

Sleep:1:00AM to 11:32AM (10hr32m)
Detail: 687 words.

Pre-WBTB

No recall.

Post-WBTB

The Night City:
I'm laying on a couch in a living room that doesn't resemble any place I can recall strongly.
My sister shows up with a puppy, and there are a couple kids running around to play with it.
Later I'm up, and there is a bug that one of the little kids is trying to catch. She has a bag of insects that seem content to hang out in the bag.
...
I'm at a large open field, with a stone wall in front of me. The scene feels a bit distant, like it is zoomed out a little.
I try to imagine grabbing onto the rock with my hands and I can feel the rock. It strikes me that this feels like a lucid dream transition (like a WILD) but that couldn't be.
I decide to do a nose-check anyway and I can breathe.
This is, in fact, a dream.
I continue to climb the rock, not realizing that this is an excellent dream stabilizing exercise.
When I get to the top, I "take off the VR goggles" and the world gets a bit clearer.
I try to remember the pre-flight check plan, but I can't recall specifics of what I'm supposed to do.
I just say "I'm theshirecat, and this is a dream!".
...
I'm lucid again in a city at night. There is an outdoor festival happening, with food and people at a bar.
I remember that I wanted to listen to the "people chatter" and see if it is nonsense like a video I had seen told me it would be.
I decide to focus on that after I'm done talking to a couple of DCs.
"Can you make a melody for me?" I ask one of them.
The DC has a long oval face with short hair, and has a friend nearby on another stool.
He seems confused so I ask again.
"Like, if I sing, keep it going."
I sing a short 4 note tune.
He joins in at the end, with what seems like a couple random notes. That's OK, he tried.
I leave the festival area and spy a large skyscraper, the tallest along the dark sky.
There are lights all over the place and it is beautiful.
"That one, I'm going to fly to that one."
I kick off the ground superman-style and start zooming towards it.
It doesn't get closer to me as fast as I expected, it must be very far away.
"Faster. Faster!"
I get modest increases in speed when I ask for it, but pointing my fists behind me gives a good boost.
There are some electrical lines in my path, and I find dodging past them a challenge.
I start to point my fists to adjust my trajectory to dodge them, and I succeed.
I get above the tall building, and notice a pink portal in the center of it.
I decide I'm going to fall directly into it from the air.
I position myself, and do so.
...
I'm in a sort of "in-between". Almost like a healing pod from Dragonball Z, and a living room is on the other side.
It feels like my lucidity is hanging by a thread, that on the other side of the pod would be losing it.
I try to keep my thoughts together, but I slip.
...
I gain lucidity again in a small room. There are about 8-10 people being forced into an elevator. Hermione from Harry Potter is among them.
Something is terrible about this, but I follow them into the elevator.
The door closes behind us, and all is panic, but then I remember I can do whatever I want.
I smash the elevator door, and shove it aside. Beyond it, there is elevator-like room.
The people cheer for me breaking it, despite it not really helping the situation.
Activities occur with Hermione.
...
I've lost lucidity and I'm with my friend J in a jeep. We're going to go fishing for dinner.
There is a small pond that makes it easy to catch fish. I feel very prepared for this trip, comparing it to another time where I hadn't been.

- Blood Sanctinomica

This was a faction that I was apart of. It spans across the universe, and is denoted with a red crucifix with a red ring centered on the intersection. On Earth there was very few members nowadays. For some reason, Blood Sanctinomica has a terrible reputation across the universe, to the point where they were shunned from any place not their own. From what I saw though, it was a great place, filled with healers who were trying to make a difference. Blood Sanctinomica was moreso a faction of avatars for the same Goddess, Saint Hemos. I'm not sure what she did, but I think she was framed.

Anyway, I was on Earth because I was with a group of people who got hurt really bad. I myself was apparently a well respected and practiced healer. I was also a blonde white girl with blue eyes, blonde frizzy hair, and freckles for some reason. I don't think I had glasses but they feel lore accurate. Anyway, when I saw the symbols of blood Sanctinomica in the distance, (we used portals to travel to space and this chapter was inside of a space station) I couldn't believe my eyes. I had been shut off from the rest of Blood Sanctinomica while on Earth, so I had assumed the faction was dead. I legit cried from happiness. Being an avatar from this faction is not something you can choose; apparently it happens from birth. Anyway, I get there and it seems that Hemos is actually on her way back to this specific chapter herself. That's when we get a call from Nurse Practica.

- Nurse Practica

This is a sister faction of Blood Sanctinomica, and it's basically the same except its goddess is still in good graces with the rest of the universe. Helios is this faction’s goddess and is also Hemos’ sister. The symbol is a simple lemon yellow plus sign.

At some point, the dream changed and I was Amy Rose, but the Rosy the Rascal design. I was Running across this area called the Badlands, and it was a night city with 90s Jpop in the background. Definitely not informed by the “Can You 100% Sonic R with Only Amy” YouTube video I watched right before going to bed and the “How To Make A Jpop Song” video I watched earlier that day. I was having a blast though. Eventually I came across some kind of battle tower. The more I climbed, the more it seemed like Minecraft. At some point, the rewards for completing it started to be these beige filling cabinets that I called “End Drives”. I remember thinking to myself that they're called Drives because you Drive the container into a slot to connect it to a storage system. This was a eureka moment, like, Oh, that must be why they're called that. After that, I woke up.

**10:43 AM**

There was this performance artist in my dream. He had lost a relative—either a daughter or a granddaughter—and through his grief, he decided to do a bunch of really weird things. For some reason, he always had blood on his mouth. I don’t know why.

Some of the things he did included fighting or racing tigers—I'm not sure which. He also had a rap battle with a shark in a tank. He wasn’t in the tank; he was outside of it, rapping at the shark for some reason. Yeah, it was really weird.

His points were about perception and perspective.

During an interview, he said that after losing, I believe, his daughter, he didn’t want to live anymore, but he also didn’t want to die. So, he found a way to live without truly living. I assume he meant that he tried to live as primally or instinctually as possible, without conscious thought. Most of what he did was just bizarre.

In the dream, I was the one giving the interview. Even while I was him, all I felt was grief—just overwhelming grief. And it was strange because I was literally him, something that isn’t possible in the waking world. It was a step beyond simply putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. But even though I experienced everything as him, I still didn’t understand what he was doing in retrospect.

Funnily enough, that tied into his second argument: that **perspective is an illusion.** Even if you try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, it’s a false sense of security because you start to feel like you understand their emotions and experiences—but you don’t. You never truly can, because you are still you. Even if you perfectly put yourself in their position, your own memories and experiences still shape the way you interpret it. I’m not sure why that was part of his argument, but he was definitely an example of **not understanding.**

I don’t really know what to make of him. He was definitely a fascinating performance artist. The kind of guy I feel like my professor would be interested in—or at the very least, want to interview. Oh, you know what? I could get her to write down some questions for him. That’s actually a really good reason to sharpen my lucid dreaming skill—so she could interview him.

Anyway, what do I take away from him? I do think there was something valuable in his ideas—assuming this wasn’t just nonsense. His thoughts on perception being an illusion have some merit. It’s just true. Everything we experience is a controlled hallucination created by the mind. So perception, as an illusion, is just one of many tools our brain uses to interpret the world. On that, he was right.

But his thoughts on first-person versus second-person perspective—his argument that they weren’t real—weren’t really fleshed out. I don’t know if he was saying that because perception is an illusion, it’s useless, but he seemed to have some kind of disdain for it.

What really stood out to me was how, after losing his daughter, he found a way to **live without living.** To **live without thinking.** As if thinking itself is integral to truly living—to experiencing life and getting the most out of it. He didn’t want that. He just followed his first impulse. It’s like **reverse impulse control.** Whatever came to mind, he did—even if it didn’t make sense. Especially if it didn’t make sense. Because then his brain would give up trying to understand, which seemed like his goal. He wanted to live as absentmindedly as possible.

I remember him specifically saying in the interview that living for **just 38 minutes**—however long the interview lasted—was agonizing for him. Which makes sense. Every second he was conscious, he had to grapple with what he lost.

But I don’t want to live like that.

Still, the idea of thought being an integral part of **living** is really interesting to me.

I had lost my body to a ghost, or a spirit, or something like that, and I had to get it back. This happened at the beginning of the dream. I remember it being really weird because my body was moving—just doing normal bodily things—but I wasn’t in control.

It was the first time I ever really felt my body be completely separate from my consciousness, which was really strange. It was different from being in a dream where I have my consciousness in the third-person perspective and I’m just watching whatever character I’m playing move around. This was different—I *was* in the body, but I couldn’t move or do anything. It was moving on its own.

It felt really weird, kind of tingly. I don’t know.

It was doing a bunch of puzzles because the spirit wanted to get something specific—I can’t remember what. But as it was in my body, it couldn’t see *me* anymore for some reason. I thought that was pretty strange.

While it was doing that, I possessed a dog that was in the puzzle room. I was kind of sabotaging its attempts to solve the puzzle, but it wasn’t enough. At the end of the day, I believe it got some sort of McGuffin that made it stronger, or something like that.

I’m not even sure what I did to make the spirit mad. I think I did something... maybe it wasn’t me. Maybe I was framed. Or maybe the spirit was just evil. I’m not sure.

The title of the dream is the first word that came to mind upon waking up; It's the name of the process the sprit used to possess me. It's funny because as I was recalling the dream, I could have sworn it was a real word and was confused when I looked it up and couldn't find it.

Sleep: 11:25PM-6:15AM (6hr50m).
Detail: 300 words.

Putin's Human Transmutation:
I'm in a city that reminds me of Melbourne, looking for my brother's friend D from when we were little.
I have to go to the bathroom, so I enter one of the buildings. My brother is there, on the phone with D.
He is standing in the bathroom, talking and blocking both the urinals and the stalls. He won't talk to me as I try to get him to move so I can pee.
Then, I'm sitting at a table, and the bathroom is represented on a flat grid DnD style.
There's a monster diagonally from me, and I'm represented by my character's mini from waking life.
I use thunderstep to one-shot the monster, and also move 30 feet across the grid. I looked it up, and this is accurate (maximum range is 90ft).
...
I'm in a parking lot outside a store. It vaguely resembles a Target, but less crowded.
I'm talking with others about going to a soccer game where D is at.
We go into the store, and now I'm a kid working on a bike.
I'm trying to access a small port on the wheel. A plastic compartment. Something I want is there.
Nearby, somebody is having a heart-attack.
Vladmir Putin is there, and claps his hands Fullmetal Alchemist style. He is going to perform human transmutation to help this person.
He sort of melds with the person, there's some blood involved.
I get the feeling that I knew how to do it too, but it was risky and costly so I didn't want to.
...
We're leaving the store together, and Putin is now somebody else.
I realized nobody had thanked him for saving this person's life, and asked whether the person was stable.
"Yes, he is stable, and they did thank me for it."

I keep having dreams I want to write down, but the length of them feels like it would wake me up completely. Woke up at 3:32 am today and had a really long lucid dream (forgotten it by now since I didn't write it down)
I do remember a short dream from 3 days ago.

Facial hair: I was standing in front of a mirror, my face visibly haggard and rough. "I need to shave." I think to myself as i touch the beard that has grown more than normal.
It's like a lions mane. I shape it to see what i would look like with a massive moustache (Dr. Eggman vibes) and I wake up.

It's only like an hour after I wake up that I realize that it was a dream.

Back in Stettler. I've been given 2 new prayers. One for the kindness of Jamie's heart. And 2: to pray that she finds me. My 15 minute prayer list got longer.

Jamie 1

A dream of her standing behind a counter looking zoned out. Not responding to me.

Uh oh. That hasn't happened in a while.

Jesus

A dream of Jesus hugging my brother.


My brother is like the most anti Christian guy I know. Also why my family knows nothing about my faith. My family is toxic enough without adding extra things they could traumatize me with.

Running

I was in a field with a woman. Some guy, David, ran past us at super speed. I ran up a hill after him. The woman following behind me stopped from being tired. I kept going up but the path got way too steep. I stopped too. I think the woman was Jamie.

Jamie again

Jamie was with me outside by a building. I had very low awareness. She was trying to convince me that some tall British woman with glasses should be my girlfriend. She suggested that I write a letter to her. I reluctantly did.

Gave the letter to the woman and ran away. Me and Jamie followed the woman to a bar. Jamie convinced me to approach her again. I did with some light banter but the woman was with two other men. She then implied with a joke that maybe she would have 3 dicks in her tonight instead of two...

Okay I pretended to be into that and promptly walked away. I went outside and Jamie was there. She got in front of me. I was behind her. We were in an embrace we seemed to be having sex as we were both moaning. But I couldn't feel anything. She abruptly stopped after a minute and left.


Sigh: please no more loyalty tests. Testing in a dream is inaccurate because in a lot of dreams I lack considerable awareness. Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It says nothing about dating multiple woman or finding a girlfriend . Jesus already called on me to think of Jamie as exactly how I would a wife. Even though it hasn't happened yet. So that's the position I'm in and I'm not backing down.

Jamie 3

I was in a fast food restaurant. Jamie was working the counter. I was looking at the menu when a woman from the group behind me went around me and went to where Jamie was standing and tried to order. Jamie scolded the woman and said to wait in line until I had ordered.

I was lucid though it wasn't fully a dream. I think I was actually halfway awake but sleepy enough to still hold onto a dream-like state. I was only a passive observer and could feel quite clearly my real body laying in bed. I was having that genre of dream with Marcus where we are flying through space talking showing me different anomalies and the like.

I became lucid and I asked him, mostly just for fun, what the solution to the N-body problem was without iterating through it.

He showed some complicated mathematical equations and he explained that it requires "multidimensional recursive mathematics". The basic idea was you use an equation that takes the average of the mass and position of all bodies except one and treat that as a common barycenter, and then calculate the gravitational interaction for those two bodies using the standard 2-body formula. But then you must put the equation inside of itself and do that for all subsequent bodies effectively creating an infinite recursion loop since you need to know the equation's solution before you have solved it in order to solve it correctly. He explains that to the 'Aliens from Arrival' it's a high school math problem because they can perceive time non-linearly and the equation/branch of mathematics to solve it hasn't been discovered by humanity because you need a certain type of advanced quantum computer to do it.

He brings me to a place where there are three planets, a red mars like one, a gray mercury like one and a white icy one all gravitationally interacting with each other. He connects the red and gray one with a HUD line showing their barycenter and shows the solution and a bunch of complicated equations for the white icy planet. Interestingly the HUD is purple and it looks like my dream HUD/overlays not his.

I realized I had asked the question in jest but predictably, Marcus had given me a serious answer, and I tried to remember as much as I could about his explanation because it was interesting, even though in all honestly its probably not useful.

The dream carried on for awhile after that though it turned more into waking and actively guided thoughts and sleepy daydreaming after that.

This dream started off as something more interesting. I can't recall precisely what no matter how many times I use my recall tricks, I only recall the final stretch before waking.

I was in a school gymnasium. It wasn't my school, it seemed like a completely OTD environment. The gymnasium has an irregularly shaped room connecting it onto the corridor network of the school building, sort of a locker room with benches and so fourth. A huge mass of people are in it but with only one door on either side of the room there is a constant traffic jam and shuffling.

This girl comes in from the gym. She's got dark hair and approaches me making sexual gestures. While I'm trying to do whatever it is I'm doing she comes up in front of me and starts moaning and making sexual motions. I know she's teasing me in front of her friends. She's attempting to make fun of 'me' (whatever persona I've assumed in this dream) for their inability to get laid. This deeply irritates me but I resolve not to make a scene or give them any kind of reaction, even as several of her friends start taking pictures on mobile phones. There's a deeper, almost lucidity-inducing thought here. I'm tired of humiliating non-lucid dreams. I'm tired of the anxiety and the frustration and the abuse.

I finished doing whatever I was doing and get up. Her friends try to position themselves block me so they can continue teasing me but I weave around them and get out into the gymnasium. The room is mostly empty though there are a few dream characters around the periphery. There are a few men in military uniforms sitting at a table at the far side of the gymnasium, some kind of recruitment of fitness tryouts for some branch of the armed forces. I have a brief conversation with one of them who is actually some friend of mine and fill out a form. It's not an enlistment form, I know that.

I then end up lining up along the wall with some other martial artists, and I notice that I am wearing a martial arts uniform. A strange blend of people from both my new and old taekwondo studios. This scene or situation has been in several dreams over the past year or so. Mostly dream fragments and non-lucid dreams that have been so faded I don't even find them worth noting. But I'm standing with my back against the wall amongst a group of other martial arts practitioners in uniform getting ready for some kind of demonstration.

I look up and notice the gymnasium ceiling is vastly higher and larger than normal. It seems to be a sort of terraced structure, like the negative of a ziggarut with gymnasium floors many stories up stepped around this central "pit" where we are resembling a normal gymnasium. As I start to wake up I mentally question how comically unsafe this setup must be as anywhere but the bottom level there is an edge with no railing that could send you plummeting 10+ meters onto a hard wood floor or bleacher.

The walls all seem to have those stretched fabric/canvas wall decorations used to add a splash of color to painted cinderblock walls. (I don't know if those things are still a thing but they were everywhere when I was a kid even if nobody ever noticed or talked about them.) They were square in shape, a deep red color and four of them were arranged together rotated 45 degrees.

Sleep: Data not recorded.
Detail: 141 words.

Down the Stairs:
I'm in a hallway that reminds me of my elementary school, approaching a door on my left.
When I go in, it looks more similar to a classroom from highschool or college.
Whiteboard at the front, desks in rows across from it.
I'm meeting a group for Dungeons and Dragons club.
...
I'm in an apartment, similar to where I used to play Dungeons and Dragons in waking life.
X was there playing, most likely the others from my current DnD group were too.
...
I'm going down some stairs in a dungeon. I'm looking at a map that shows the layout.
There are stairs going down with landings at each level. There is a half-circle shaped divot in the wall at each stop, maybe 6 feet wide in diameter, with a cut into the stone below forming a basin.