All DJ Entries

I dreamed that I lived in a world where people could move around to other places or dimensions through small ports in various places, but the big one was that everyone could move through any electrical line. Primarily for some reason it seemed to be televisions that people used. It wasn't something that was a special talent or that only certain people could do, however it was something you could have a talent for, even if everybody could theoretically do it.

I was apparently quite bad at doing this but happened to meet a young girl who was immensely talented at it while having my own misadventures doing this 'traveling' (people seemed to simple call it 'traveling', and those who move along the electrical lines, 'Travelers'). One day as I was traveling into a house I met a small girl who was watching the television that I suddenly found myself sitting in-front of. She said something like, "you must be new at this," and showed me just how quickly she could travel from and through various objects, almost in a blink, whereas it took me a lot of slow, deliberate thought, and touching the TV (or other device) trying to feel myself meld into it.

At some point she asked me if I wanted to see something interesting, so I said sure, and she directed me towards a cuckoo clock with a small flap on it. She raised the flap and said, "go inside." I raised my hands and shook my head in slight confusion, because the clock seemed to be powered by something internal, so there was nowhere to go. She shook her head and said, "this clock goes somewhere different," and while I was looking at her she almost instantly vanished as a swirl of blinking lights getting sucked into the clock.

I raised the flap and looked inside the clock and slowly and surely felt myself being drawn into it, more and more, and then eventually found myself sitting beside the little girl in a pew. We were in a small church building, and everyone was looking around. The man beside me turned and looked at me, and I weakly smiled back at him, and he looked away. Everyone looked distressed, and then suddenly the preacher began preaching again and they all faced forwards once more. I looked at the girl and she whispered, "You could have traveled a little lighter, they all felt you come like an earthquake." I didn't do anything intentionally so I just looked back at her and shrugged.

I turned forwards and listened to the preacher and found out that this was a place that was distinctly anti-traveler. They found it horrendous, a dark magic, against God, and something to be destroyed-- like witchcraft and witches, they wanted no part of it. I suddenly felt a little concerned for both of us, but the girl seemed to be able to take care of herself so I was worried for me mostly (haha).

The preacher continued on, saying that the travelings had increased in number lately and not to worry because a great discovery had been made. A doorway in town which led out into the world where travelers come from had been found. And it was high-time they all took it themselves, went out, and got rid of these travelers.

The girl immediately turned to me and tugged on my sleeve and said, "Dad, I need to go to the bathroom!" and I turned and looked at her and at the couple of people sitting nearby that turned and looked at us. I took her hand and escorted her out of the church, and she whispered to me, "we have to get out of here now," and so we did, and traveled back out of the clock and into her house. I had saved my questions and asked her where that place was, and why we had gone. She started to become a bit hysterical and angry rather than answering the question, yelling at me and blaming me for ruining something. I asked her what I had ruined, and she said, "I've been trying to find a way to kill all those people, but now they're coming here!"

I was a bit startled by this and said, "Why do you want to kill them?" and she explained that it was because they had killed her mother when she had traveled there out of curiosity/on a whim. She didn't know either where the place was, but she knew they were different there and they killed her mother. She was lying down beside me as she said this, and she started crying. I reached out and put my hand on her leg (trying to be comforting), but what I really wanted to say was that I understood, but that she shouldn't want to kill a whole group of people, but it didn't feel right to say, and not genuine either. I kept sitting there listening to her cry, thinking about what she had said, and suddenly I started crying too, because I was struggling to find anything genuine to say, but I felt genuine sympathy for her. I hadn't realized why she had lived all alone and I wondered how long she had been.

While we were sitting there, we suddenly started feeling earthquake like shaking, and she almost immediately stopped crying and said again, "we have to go somewhere else, they're coming." I nodded, and she almost instantly turned to the nearest TV and touched it and I said, "Wait, I was having trouble traveling earlier, what if I can't?" She shook her head and said, "That's all in your head," and almost instantly she blinked away. The thumping was getting louder, and I touched the TV for a second, struggled because I couldn't focus, and then immediately ran in the other room I had initially appeared in and locked the door. I turned the TV on and sat down with my back against it and closed my eyes and tried to envision myself moving into and through it. Anywhere but here, I thought.

The banging go louder and soon there was someone at the door knocking, then pounding, then hitting the door as if to break it down. They were calling out like they were concerned for whoever was inside but I knew when they saw me and what I was trying to do, they'd likely take a weapon and kill me.

The last thing I heard was the door breaking down, and then the next thing I saw was a distant future. I saw myself, bearded, aging into my 50s, sitting in a room with a television, which was playing nothing but static. Suddenly, a door slammed open and a young kid came running in, asking me all sorts of questions about 'traveling'. I blinked, and his parents were quickly behind him telling him not to bother me, and that I didn't know anything about that. He didn't buy this, and said something along the lines of, "I know that's how he got here!"

His dad explained instead that I had simply walked down the road and been in need and they had let me stay at their house temporarily. I smiled and nodded also. The kid looked skeptical, but I had picked up on a note about this future-- nobody knew how to travel anymore. All the travelers were dead and I was one of the few carrying on a sacrilegious art. I guess in the end the people from the other place had won and convinced everyone not to do it anymore, but I still did, especially when I needed to get away. I had been staying at this place for a few days.

Anyway, it was time I left, and as I was getting up the kid was right behind me, calling after me that he wanted to learn, and asking what he could do to be a traveler. I ignored his questions politely for the sake of his parents, and they grabbed him by the shoulders and held him still as I walked into the next room and began putting on some boots. His grandfather appeared and started walking towards me, and as the kid called out, "I want to travel!" again, his grandfather said, "where are you going, South Africa?" and I chuckled. I started to say something but suddenly his grandfather put his hand over my mouth and I blinked and looked at him and he was looking at me very seriously. I nodded and continued putting on my boots.

The last thing in the dream was that as I was standing up ready to go, the kid came to the door and tried one more time. He asked why he couldn't be a traveler, and I looked at him wracking my brain for something to say. I had almost decided on saying, "listen to your parents," but before anything came out of my mouth I woke up, a little dazed.

-----

That was really one of those dreams you wake up from feeling like you've been somewhere else living a different life for years. I had to reorient afterwards.

Thursday, 8/6/20, Core2


False awakening. I heard my alarm going off but something made me suspect I was dreaming and that the alarm was just part of the dream so I didn't hurry to turn it off. I was laying in bed and not moving easily. A finger count reality check confirmed I had too many fingers but for some reason I still wasn't 100% certain I was really dreaming. I thought about rolling "out of my body" and flying but I was reluctant to fling myself out of bed if I turned out to be awake (it's not close to the floor). What can I do that would be easier? I wondered. I tried to affect my environment. The sound of the alarm faded in and out with my focused thought, then I made it go silent. The entire visual of my room faded as well. Oops. I rolled out of bed and floated to the floor, having now convinced myself I was in a dream and that I needed to stabilize it.

A lapse in consciousness as everything faded to black briefly. I found myself standing in the upstairs bathroom. Wait a minute, I thought after a few seconds, How did I get here? Am I still dreaming? I counted my fingers; seven, eight. It was very strange because my hands looked so normal even when I stared directly at them. I checked a couple more times just to convince myself once again. I was looking around me in amazement because everything was so realistic, an exact replica of my waking life bathroom. Clearer, even. I stared at and felt the bumps on the wall, saw how light reflected off the semi gloss, mint green paint. I decided to go downstairs to look around some more. I hope I'm not just awake and really sleep deprived. I thought idly, Otherwise people are going to think I've really lost it, staring at the walls and talking about how amazing they are.

As I walked down the stairs, I pulled at my hand, trying to see if I could morph it. I did, slightly. The weighting of gravity felt so realistic as well that I wondered if I would be able to fly in this dream since it felt like it would be difficult. I tested it by jumping off a few stairs and confirmed I could float. It felt stranger than usual in this environment. I reached the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. "Hey Mom," I said, "This is a dream."

"Oh, yeah?" she said.

"Yeah." I thought of what I wanted to do with my lucidity. "Do you want me to show you how to fly?" I asked her.

"No that's okay, I already know how to do that. I've done enough of that lately." She went back to doing dishes. I was somewhat mystified by this decision.

"Oh, okay." I wanted to go out back so I started looking around for the nearest exit. I went and opened the front door. "Well, see you later." I added. Wait, why am I looking for a door to go all the way around? I could just take a straight shot through the kitchen wall. I changed course and flew at the wall. I can't believe some people get stuck in walls, it's never happened to me. All you have to do is not think about it. So then, of course, it happened to me. I got stuck in the wall halfway through. It felt like I was moving through molasses and everything went dark for a couple seconds. Then I could see an extremely vague back yard scene. I focused on a point relatively far away - since the closer focal points weren't yielding results - and I set a strong intention to go there directly. I essentially teleported to the intended spot and the scene became vivid and clear once again.

I flew above my yard, which was roughly accurate to waking life but much bigger. I spotted my late cat Pascal, a fluffy, 24-pound Maine Coon, laying in the yard just past the redwood tree. He was staring up at me. I flew lower and slowed, with a bit of difficulty controlling my height and speed initially. "I don't regret any of it!" I announced to him out of nowhere once I landed in front of him. "Well, except I wish we'd realized how sick you were sooner so you didn't have to go like that. We wanted to be there." I knelt down next to my cat and pet him, talking to him about our time together when he was alive, telling him how much I loved him, and pulling twigs and leaves out of his fur. He just continued staring at me with big eyes and purring, though I got the sense he was listening. The dream lapsed into a non-lucid.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

Definitely one of my clearest LDs, and a really euphoric feeling to see Pascal again. I loved that cat so much. When he was old and sick, he started having trouble breathing and we rushed him to the vet and said yes when they asked if we wanted them to do a procedure to try to save him. He died on the operating table and I really regretted not being with him at the end. In hindsight we didn't recognize how close he was to going so we weren't prepared to let him go and also didn't have time to think it through fully during the emergency. I was determined not to repeat that mistake, and I didn't the next time one of our elderly cats, Talis, no longer had quality of life. It was very tough to make that decision and to find the right balance, but I know that in that case Talis' needs came first. Anyway, it was still good to finally get to tell Pascal how I felt and how much I loved him, even if it was just in a dream.

Semi-lucidity! Trying shapeshifting.
In the beginning there was some sort of scary things, it was like a catalog of drugs that make your dreams insane with illustrations of what you could see, most notably a drug that is some sort of mineral which looks like some really demonic face with a mouth stretched down for meters, an unhealthy reddish skin and dead white eyes, and it made you see faces like that in your dream. Then it was somewhat about Subnautica. But then I was at home and suddenly I had a small amount of heightened awareness that it might be a dream. Then there was a sort of puppet but it was alive and I brought it into a room and closed the door to protect us from something. We went outside again and there were intimidating people and it was also like I read something bad about them. They said something I don't remember. I went past them and at the window were also some intimidating people I couldn't get past. I went back to the room.

I don't remember the part right before it, but I knew I was dreaming and did multiple reality checks and they all told me I was in a dream, so, now aware, I thought of something to do. The dream was very unclear and I totally forgot about stabilizing, but didn't even notice, so this was at most semi-lucid. I went to a mirror and tried transforming into a dragon. I didn't manage to do it at all since I hadn't at all had a visualization of the dragon I'd want to transform in. I tried doing it by looking to the mirror and back once I had an idea of what I wanted. As it didn't work after multiple attempts I just tried a tail at first, and that worked... somewhat. I didn't really take the right idea at all from the beginning anyway. The tail was there, but it was numb and had no feeling. And it was green, and I wanted it blue, so I just looked away and back again, and there it was blue. Then I just sort of gave up. I went away to see if I could manage to breathe fire at the people I couldn't get past, but I just forgot about it and tried to do something else. At some point I lost lucidity somewhat and slightly fell back into the plot about these demonic faces. Then I got excited over something and I woke up quite a lot. I then remembered the shapeshifting tutorial, and I wanted to do it. I remembered dream chaining, laid completely still, aaaaanddd... my parents managed to wake me up on accident.

---

Glad to know my practice is working. Not sure what to improve for next time, though. Maybe I should just continue as usual with my practice.

14th June 2020

Dream Fragment:

In some altered version of our house, with H. I remember a greenhouse of sorts around back, it was dark.

Transition? Another scene, still same area. Me and H walking around and there's this Polish lady and in the dream she is a neighbour of ours. She has a kid or two, and a husband who is away at the moment.

We hear her talk in her native language to her child, who is indoors. She's sitting on a dark grey fibreglass chair outside, our garden areas are apparently joined together. Her house isn't lined up straight with ours though, it's set further back, so the door leading inside her house from the "back" is technically on the side of her house, not the front or back.

I remember we spoke to her, she wanted something, like something done for her or fixed for her perhaps.

---

Notes:
- In the dream I remember that my knowledge about her family was simply intuitive, as if we'd known the family casually for years.
- While I don't really remember the lady's appearance or her children's appearance, I have the feeling she had black, tied-back hair. This fits some character archetype my dream mind keeps constructing from time to time.

- I am recalling, having written the above note, that I had a short-term friend (Ca) when I was a kid, who sort of matched this description; she was particularly tall despite being about the same age but she did get some abuse from other kids for that, since kids always find ways of being mean. I remember for a few years I'd always been a bit sad we didn't stay in touch or remain friends since we didn't stay in touch, but to be honest at some point I just don't even remember seeing her anymore, despite the fact that my home town was fairly condensed and most people knew each other in some vague way at the very least. During my childhood she was one of few girls with whom I got along with quite well.

- I think my dream mind likes to feature different families with children of their own as a window into what that life might be like.
- The backyard, oddly enough, was actually grassy, unlike the concrete backyard we do have at our current home.

9th June 2020

Catching up on DJ again.

Dream:

(last part, my original notes sort of start at the end but cycle back to this point in some way)

Was in a WoW-like game or reality. There was this nest on a cliff I had to reach from this insanely long ladder along another cliff face. I wasn't sure how high I had to climb before I'd be able to make the jump towards the nest.

At some point I jumped and I remember sort of gliding a bit, eventually reaching the nest. I remember noticing a book covered in twigs and small bones. I looked this up on a popular WoW database to read comments on either the book or this location. Then I wiped it clean (from what? dust?) but don't recall what happened after that.

Some guy riding a bear mount? Not sure. Then I remember myself, taking off the ground on a nether drake. I flew up a bit but not that much. There were Shattrath guards following after me through a forest that was not like Terokkar next to the city. The guards were throwing hammers of wrath at me as they pursued, most hitting me but doing little damage although this was whittling my health points away.

I knew we were still in the Outlands because there was a cliff's edge, and nothing but void beyond and below; I remember the characteristic Nagrand-like sky. I rode my drake over this threshold of sorts and from past the edge, looped under the floating land mass, hiding there with my drake in some sort of underground cave area...

I saw blood elves fly over and away on their bloodhawks toward the endless horizon and void. The distraction worked and I lost them. Then I left the bottomless "cave" underground and went much higher than before. Something was happening and a massive black dragon was appearing and the sky also dramatically changed to darkness and red tones. There was some NPC shouting something, but I don't remember what. I remember having passing thoughts about Deathwing and Alextstraza and how they looked feral with their "old/out of date" models.

Then I remember flying toward the dragon and at some point jumping off the back of my drake and landing on a platform (on the dragon?). There, I found blocks like in Boundless. Interesting patterned blocks, like mosaic and celtic twist patterns on stone and they had red and black colour schemes. I began to "vein mine" the blocks the vein mining technique eventually stopped working and so I gave up on harvesting these interesting blocks.

The next part I remember, I had ended up on a red dragon's back. We fly over mountains and cliffs and from here I spot the nest and jump off, gliding through the air somehow and trying to land on the nest. Instead, the winds lead me to the ladder.

---

Notes:
- I think it was in this dream; the area in which I found the bear mount rider was something like the WoW zone Grizzly Hills, with tall pine-like trees.
- The way my original notes were made have altered my memory of how the dream's chronology worked out but at the same time it has created a nearly perfect cyclical flow of the dream which did lead me to remembering details I otherwise may not have recalled that morning.
- The black dragon may have appeared before I thought of Deathwing, but I believe the two would have come in tandem regardless of which appeared first.
- This dream involved a lot of flying or gliding and basically high altitude locations with little solid ground to speak of. In the dream and game worlds I don't typically ever have a fear of heights, despite the fact that in reality they make me feel uncomfortable as I become highly aware that a mistake could cost me, fatally so even.
- Over the last few months I have had passing thoughts of the Burning Crusade and about nether drakes, so this dream probably came about as a materialisation of that or as a self-feeding experience.

Will be trying to update here more frequently. I've really been neglecting the opportunity that COVID has given me to up my dream game and be more diligent with journaling. So let's change that!

20200801 (3nl)

1. swamp monster hunters consulting gypsies and bringing along journalist woman (she smelled?); in the woods skinny tweaker methheads interacting with big gnarled ginger root woody monsters, white van parked with headlights; in the stream, small monster with big nose - gypsies confirmed it's the worst one
This was a pretty memorable dream as far as the visuals and emotions. It was actually narrated, and sort of felt like an episode of True Detective (S1) with the lighting and "cinematography" if I can put it that way.

2. before this, downton abbey style old house family drama

3. shopping mall or false memory?

Being a guardian wolf
I am some sort of wolf, and I am there to protect Snow White from once upon a time at some sort of warehouse. Something attacks. At some point I see myself in third person. I might have two different eye colors it seems, and I am in a sort of lurking pose. I might later be hurt.

A very strange girl
A girl is sort of really insane. Maybe she isn't even human. Maybe she even kidnapped me. It might be in some other world, but it definitely is very strange and has a strange feeling associated to how the world works. She at some point wants to do something really strange like building a cocoon..? And at some point she might have sent me into another world or something, maybe restaurant related. In the end she tries to stab me and we are suddenly in the hallway of my home, and then I try and choke her and she is suddenly a cat.

Created Thursday 06 August 2020

Wow. Lots of things today. False memories of writing notes made me forget some details, as did the phone somehow deleting quite a bit of content. Frickin thing...

Spoiler for Quite long. NSFW violence.:

Scrap Group 1
WILD transition in bed. My vision was terrible, and I had a lot of trouble moving. I could barely float towards the kitchen, where I heard several figures speaking. I called out for their attention, but they didn't seem to listen.

Various FA and SP experiences. Been a while since my last SP, heh. Seeing as I couldn't move, I just waited them out for a more proper transition.

WILD transition in bed. The stage transition sound byte from Sonic Adventure 2 suddenly sounded. Warp. Spectator mode. This was a clip of a 3D Sonic game. Knuckles was running through a bridge/tunnel over a waterway. Tube Panic from Knuckles Chaotix was sounding in the background. After watching for a minute, I manifested into the dream. I flew at high speeds through numerous tunnels.

FA in bed. I assumed I was writing notes. I also failed to notice my speaking with my guide, E.

Dream 1 - August TOTM Basic I

The visuals were dim and quite blurred, mostly due to my face being covered by sheets and a sleeping mask. FA in bed, though I quickly got aware.

Suddenly, a figure pounced on me. I wrestled back, keeping them at arm's length. I soon heard this was my brother Isaac, or rather, someone that sounded somewhat like him. He claimed that I bothered him somehow, but I ignored him. Instead, I asked he take off my covers so that I could finally see more clearly. He begrudgingly complied.

Free of him, I got up to take a better look around. It was then that I noticed the figure glaring at me from bed wasn't Isaac. Instead, he looked suspiciously similar to myself in my adolescence. Regardless, I just thought to only interact with him for reasons of a task.

"Hey.", I began. "Who's dream is this?"

"Your's, obviously.", the younger me responded while rolling his eyes. I didn't expect he'd know as much. This made me very curious.

"Surprised you knew that. Who are you?".

"I'm your subconscious."

I frowned at his answer. "Subconscious? What a load of crap.", I thought to myself. Still, I did want to understand more of this. "I already have E as a guide.", I answered. "I don't need your help".

The kid glowered. "You shouldn't follow her. Don't trust her."

What an incredulous response. I didn't know whether to be insulted, confused, or humored. My 'subconscious' kept deriding E,, while I dismissed him as a misinformed know-nothing. We continued to argue for a bit until the dream collapsed.

Scrap Group 2
Another FA in bed, where I once again thought I wrote some notes down.

Dream 2 - Hog Head Crush

The visuals were dim and quite blurred. FA/SP in bed.

Suddenly, I was beset by a grunting beast: a large feral hog. Couldn't really see it, but it certainly oinked like one. The creature immediately chewed on my scalp, tearing off large chunks of skin. It didn't hurt that much, but that didn't make it any less disturbing. I 'figured' it was avenging the deaths of all the pork I've eaten in my lifetime. Regardless, I got aware.

Seeking vengeance in turn, I tried conjuring a burning aura around me. It only manifested up as thick heat haze. Nonetheless, it worked well enough to scald the creature. The pig squealed and writhed in agony. It tried to run away, but I wasn't gonna let it get off that easy. I clenched its head with my hand. The wild animal mauled me in turn, though that didn't help it any. I dug my burning fingers into its skull. Before long, the hog's head moldered away. The dream collapsed shortly after.

Dream 3 - Late to the Great War

The visuals were dim. FA in bed, though I got aware again.

Soon, a vision appeared before me. It starts with an evening thunderstorm over grassy hills. Continuous lightning strikes illuminated the skies in a spectacular display. Just then, unusual vehicles loomed in from the land and air. From above, a fleet of alien-looking zepplins cruised the skies. From the hills tromped in bulbous tanks with four mechanical legs instead of treads. Although the tech didn't seem like it was from anything found on Earth, it also appeared dated, no more advanced than the interwar period.

And then, a battle erupted. Cluster bombs rained from above, ruining much of the countryside in seconds. By some miracle, most of the tanks remained intact. A constant barrage of artillery shells fired from the horizon, lighting up the clouds. Infantry rushed in from nowhere, taking cover within craters.

It was an equally terrible and mesmerizing sight. I didn't want to just spectate any longer. I manifested within the scene. Rain and winds pressed down hard, keeping me from moving too much. The surprise of that, and my over-eagerness, caused the dream to collapse.


Dream 4 - In The Clutches of Another Hungry Giant Lady

The visuals started quite blurred, though clarified over time. FA in bed, but I quickly got aware. Once again, I had trouble moving. I could only lurch my way out of the house, completely disregarding that I was only in my boxers.

It was a beautiful clear day. The sun glared in my eyes momentarily. As I shambled out the driveway, I overheard Egg Reverie from Sonic Mania sounding in the background. I opted to change it to Track 6 from Dyna Brothers.

Anyway, I paced my way out of the neighborhood. That's when I noticed a few glaring incongruities: the road forward extended for many blocks, there were several 6-story tall condo buildings in the distance, and, above all, there was a stout, similarly-sized gigantic woman tromping around near said buildings.

Interested, I wanted to hurry over there. But, I was really impatient, and decided just to conjure the giant woman towards me. Instead, a colossal cartoon character appeared, though it didn't take long for them to appear lifelike. I looked up, to see it was a different giantess, dark skinned, average build, and roughly 60+ feet in height. The woman was wearing only a red tank-top and boxers, and given that her puffy hair was matted, she obviously only got up from bed as well. She was a bit plain looking, but still, she didn't look bad given the circumstances.

Suddenly, the woman scooped me up in one hand. As startling as that was, I kept my composure. I began greeting her, but the sleepy giantess snarled back before I could finish. Just then, she dragged me into her gaping mouth! Her teeth and molars clamped down at my midsection. She fiercely gnawed and yanked on my torso with her jaws, knocking the air out of me, harshly bruising my skin, and breaking my bones. Gotta say, this stung like hell.

Acting quick, I tried turning my body into stone, though In my haste, I could only do so on my back. Nonetheless, this was more than enough to crack and chip her top teeth. The giantess gasped in pain. Soon, she lost her hold on me, and I fell.

I found myself landing back to my bed. I awakened promptly.

Meeting an almighty person
There is some like almighty person with questionable morals, like with all the dark ones from Once Upon a Time. At first I think I was just a spectator. Later, I had something which had some sort of smell in my home, but my father told me that if some family under our home smelt it I'd get problems with this dark almighty person, so I got scared and thought about quickly running down the staircase into the garden, but was worried if they would smell it as I ran past. Then the dark guy was somewhere with me, and I remember me trying to not show fear, and he commented on that, and I say "Of course I'm scared of you."
Then it was showing why he was evil and it was like he married a woman, but then she died and then it became nonsensical and it showed his wife comforting him about her own death.

Fragment
Something was going on, which I don't remember anymore.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In Alhandra, helping out an old lady cross the road. Then go to mom's and all the neighbors are at her door because she met Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, who are in Portugal to start a charity. They organized a cookie sale and somehow my mom got involved. For some reason I make plans to seduce Tom Hanks. On one hand I think I don't want to mess with his marriage, as they are a lovely couple, but on the other hand it is stronger than me. So I start applying my subtle charm on him. There is a fundraising lunch and my uncle Francisco is there and chokes on something. Tom goes to the rescue but I am not sure he made it.

Get to a Japanese handmade clothing shop. I've heard wonders about their avant-garde kimonos. I check their catalogue but it is mostly knitted stuff and non of those kimonos. Some girl to my side is really enthusiastic about it, so I hand it over to her and go check instead a chariot they have by the wall with painted banners and dresses. I fall in love with a banner with kanji symbols and a Japanese woman and which reads on top "aqui há gato" (literal translation; there's a cat in here; meaning: something's fishy). I feel it would look awesome on my living room wall. Then they also have long hand painted dresses and I am going crazy for them. I pick one to try out and want to check the rest of them, but some other girls take over and disappear with all the dresses, leaving only cosplay outfits.

A meeting with my manipulative friend fragment
My father has already opened the door after the doorbell rang and my manipulative friend is there and I quickly put a sentence together. The sentence might be an apology to him, something I am trying to prevent myself doing.

Finding treasure in my house
I and my father helped some dangerous looking guy with dark skin. He sort of reminds of some guy I knew once, Darren. He wants to find some sort of treasure. At some point he might have had other people helping him, but in the end he was alone with us. The house was somewhat weirdly structured. We were searching around the door to the garden. There is lots of things on the wall you could climb on, and lots you could miss. In the end he finds it and tells us to leave. But I sort of knock him out and find it as well but he woke up again and I run up the stairs towards home. Then one of his partners comes along and says something along the lines of "What do you think you're doing up here, hm?" but I say something like "Of course I can be here, I live up here!" and they say something like "Yeah yeah..." and leave, going down quickly. And then I hear my father talking to the guy from the beginning to distract him so that I can get the treasure. But I notice that the guy would be facing me and that he might notice me anyway because he could hear me so I didn't take the chance. Then I went outside and then ran in and just tried to get the treasure, but he stopped me. I thought about saying that he'd get half, but I didn't know how much the treasure even was worth. I also thought about just knocking him out again, but I thought I wouldn't be strong enough.

---

This was after multiple MILD attempts. I woke up multiple times throughout the night and tried to do a MILD nearly every time. Because I woke up often, there were probably some WBTBs.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am a male knight on my property with my family. A group attacks our house, I can't help my wife there, as I am at some annexes with our servants and holding our baby, whom they are after. I escape through a tunnel that my servants help camouflage. I get out at some building that looks like a middle eastern hotel.

I help a gay activist not to be arrested and I get arrested instead. My mom helps me escape by asking to escort me to the bathroom which is upstairs from the cell floor. They allow. The only way to escape is by jumping out of the window. She is scared and tells me to do it alone. But I don't want to leave without her, so I realize we are dreaming and I tell her it's just a dream. Since the cops are coming after us, I grab her and I cross the wall and bring her with me. It works, on the other side is our old house and some family members are there, looking much younger or back from the dead. My dad, my maternal grandparents, my auntie and great-grandmother with full black hair. They recognize my mom but not me. I wonder if she would like to stay here.

42 ОС (9) от 27 января 2012.
Перепись населения
Сначала я был дома и убегал от какого то существа - смеси рыжей собачки с чем то. Я выбежал на балкон, перелез через бельевые верёвки и встал на воздухе. Сделав несколько шагов, решил прыгнуть вниз головой. Картинка сна заела. Заметил только, что с нижних этажей мне кто то махнул рукой.
Далее с позиции наблюдателя я вижу как в незнакомом месте разговаривают мужчина и женщина. Они пытаются понять, кто создал того монстра, от которого я убегал. В конце концов женщина решает что:"Надо посетить место Жёлтая…….", имея ввиду мой дом.
Следующий кадр, я уже с этой женщиной нахожусь в своём СП, только в другой его части, подальше от дома. Мы с ней шагаем по воздуху. Наблюдая за тем, что внизу, думаю про себя, что полное совпадение с реалом. Тут до меня и доходит - я во сне. Замечаю возле магазинчика стоит куча спрайтов. Я разворачиваюсь, спускаюсь по воздуху вниз и направляюсь в их сторону. Подхожу к спрайтам и говорю: "Здравствуйте, я устраиваю перепись населения, скажите свое ФИО возраст и где живёте" Как только я сказал, понял, что не слышу своего голоса, точнее слышу, но скорее не говорю фразу а думаю ей. Решил повторить погромче. Спрайты молчат, не отвечают. Только одна женщина покачала головой, мол нет не скажем. Далее толпа спрайтов отходит от магазина и двигается плотным потоком. Я к каждому в этом потоке пытаюсь обратится, но они тупо проходят мимо. Заметил бомжеватого мужика, говорю ему здравствуйте скажите ФИО и где вы живёте. Он так же проходит мимо. Позади я слышу, что бомжеватый мужик повернулся и что то сказал, но что именно не понять. Переспрашиваю не отвечает. Оставил его в покое, решаюсь наконец схватить какого-нибудь спрайта и задать этот вопрос в лоб. Хватаю первого попавшегося мужчину, задаю вопрос. Тот ничего не отвечает, просто отмахивается от меня, и идёт дальше. Взгляд у него был какой то стеклянный. Я отхожу от толпы говорю - Куклы! И просыпаюсь.

Выводы:
1. В неосознанной части сна столкнулся с агрессивным животным чем-то смахивающим на рыжую мелкую собаку.
2. Попадал в позицию наблюдателя. Наблюдал за своим сновиденным телом со стороны.
3. Парочка продвинутых персонажей, которые обсуждали тайный замысел. Аля неорганы.
4. Шагал по воздуху.
5. Перепись населения не состоялась. Никто мне не ответил. Еще странно, что много было бомжей.
6. Проблемы с голосом. Трудно говорить вслух. Кажется, что звучат мои собственные мысли, а я не произношу ни слова.
7. Стеклянный взгляд у персонажей.


42 LD (9) dated January 27, 2012.
Population census
At first I was at home and ran away from some kind of creature - a mixture of a ginger dog with something. I ran out onto the balcony, climbed over the clothesline and stood in the air. After taking a few steps, I decided to jump upside down. The dream picture stuck. I only noticed that from the lower floors someone gave me a wave.
Further, from the position of an observer, I see a man and a woman talking in an unfamiliar place. They are trying to figure out who created the monster I was running from. In the end, the woman decides that: “We should visit the place of Yellow …….”, Referring to my house.
The next shot, I am already with this woman in my joint venture, only in another part of it, away from home. We walk with her through the air. Observing what is below, I think to myself that it is a complete coincidence with real life. Then it dawns on me - I'm in a dream. I notice there are a bunch of sprites near the shop. I turn around, descend through the air and head towards them. I go up to the sprites and say: "Hello, I'm organizing a population census, tell me your name, age and where you live." I decided to repeat it louder. The sprites are silent, do not respond. Only one woman shook her head, saying no, we will not say. Further, the crowd of sprites moves away from the store and moves in a dense stream. I try to address everyone in this stream, but they stupidly pass by. I noticed a homeless man, I say hello to him, tell him your full name and where you live. He also passes by. Behind me I hear that the homeless man turned and said something, but what exactly is not clear. I ask again does not answer. I left him alone, I finally decide to grab some sprite and ask this question head-on. I grab the first man I come across and ask a question. He doesn't answer, he just brushes me off, and moves on. His eyes were somehow glassy. I move away from the crowd and say - Dolls! And I wake up.

Findings:
1. In an unconscious part of the dream, I encountered an aggressive animal that looked like a small red dog.
2. Hit the observer position. I watched my dreaming body from the side.
3. A couple of advanced characters who discussed a secret plan. Ala non-organs.
4. Walked through the air.
5. The population census did not take place. Nobody answered me. It is also strange that there were many homeless people.
6. Problems with voice. It is difficult to speak out loud. It seems that my own thoughts are sounding, but I do not utter a word.
7. Characters have a glass look.

4th August 2020 ~11:30

Dream:

Near the end of a stupidly long non-lucid part; I was falling through a pipe, I was with a squad to take something out in a facility. But then as I was falling, everything seemed still.

I was in a void of sorts and time seemed to pass slower, the others were still here with me. It felt like being in water, and there was a similar visual effect. The squad leader, turned to me and said "you must pick the right one this time!" and I suddenly saw a vision of who to pick.

Then I was in a room. There were three guardians and some other characters. I picked the one from my vision. It was true that it was the start of a cycle that I was now breaking, at the start of this long non-lucid part I was in a very similar situation.

But this time I had picked "correctly". As a result, my consciousness shifted, I was now the guardian I'd picked. I noticed my hands, I had three fingers and one thumb. I became lucid but it came slowly, not like in the past.

There was no "aha!" moment or sudden shift. I realised I was in a version of my mom's first office room. The characters were gone, I think; and to confirm my lucidity further I grabbed a metal shelving unit in the room and threw it through a wall, fully expecting it to go through as if it were a ghost, and it did!

I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, since I hadn't fully expect to be lucid. I decided to indulge in one of my fantasies and decided to become a giant anthropomorphic lizard. It sort of worked... I saw myself in third person, wearing a labcoat (my artificial dream sign) as an anthro lizard. But I wanted to be myself in first person, I get tired of seeing things in third person in dreams and so I willed it and then was myself as the lizard. I looked down and saw the city-sprawl below me. I had reptilian-like feet with claws and I could see I had an emerald green skin but it was not as dark as I wanted. I tried to give myself different sexual features but it didn't work either.

I was happy enough the transformation worked in the basic sense in any case and started to have some fun by putting myself against the ground and sort of rubbing along it for lack of better words. I paused and checked my hands again, just having a good look at them. They were hardly as scaly as I'd expected and this felt disappointing but I carried on. I remember noticing the atmosphere effect but oddly enough when I was standing I didn't notice the curvature effect of the planet. I was big enough that I should have been able to notice it.

While the terrain did get sort of crunched/destroyed/etc by whatever I did, I wasn't able to see the cities in any great amount of detail and could not notice any mountains either. I was too big I suppose. I could feel my tail at several points but overall the feel of my body was mostly whole/complete.

Spoiler for Self-indulged arousal:

Still, I let myself get aroused by my fantasy and didn't try to change this fact and eventually just started pleasuring myself. Somehow it didn't take much to get to orgasm and it was very oddly and easily controlled, even though its effect was not quite what I'd expect. The physical sensations were mostly accurate and I enjoyed controlling them.

After this self-indulging, I realised the city/landscape I'd been having fun on and with was really just a square section in a rather large room. At the edges, the atmosphere effect sort of cut off, it was interesting.

I was standing up and looked around the room for the first time; lots of metal pipes and dark metal things, like grates and slits where some natural light came through from. It had an extremely industrial look. As I looked around I still felt that I was very big, but the room's scale made me feel smaller in a sense, despite how much room I took.

My lucidity was fading a little and I'd become a bit bored, I didn't expect to end my fantasy so soon but this was obviously the result of not pre-planning any of this. I saw a character less than half my size, by a sewer-tunnel looking bit. I approached, I asked him "Who are you?", quite curious about this metal-flesh sort of monster, the look only describable as being drawn from many such archetypes.

He gave me a reply veiled in mystery, that I cannot recall anymore, but he did not answer my question in its most basic form and I didn't think of asking again. I got bored of him and decided he was quoting from something, but I forget what he was saying, unfortunately.

I looked around again. This felt so different from my previous lucid experiences. I was calm, and it didn't take much effort to be calm; the dream was far less vivid and detailed than other lucids and indeed even less than some non-lucids, but I appreciated this moment. I enjoyed not feeling my daily pain.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard a deep echoing voice. It told me "You must kill your brother, remember?". Some less conscious part of me, replied automatically "I know, I know! But not now." Before I could add anything of my own will, the voice spoke again to the effect of "Very well, he shall be kept alive for now." The voice faded completely and I simply finished by again automatically saying "Good."

I didn't appreciate this family-related intrusion into my lucidity but realised it was from a deeper part and so didn't really wish to alter it.

My lucidity may have been fading again but I decided to simply explore these strange halls, carelessly stepping over that square world I'd been playing with earlier and heading for a doorway on the opposite corner from where I was. There were many artificial warm light accents around the metal halls. I eventually found myself on a gantry bit and there were random people both there and on a lower tier. I played around with some telekinesis on some red and blue barrels, trying to lob them but doing so poorly at first. I started to gain a more intuitive understanding as I did it but it did not feel as "mentally driven" as I'd expected, having to move my hands a fair bit.

My form had been consistent through my lucidity, I still had reptilian traits and my hands were clawed now, I recall. A random human character next to me looked up to me and said "Don't throw them with your arms like a real barrel." Or something like that. I understood from this to use hand motions more. I tried lifting a barrel and pulling it toward me, having done so too much and then pushing it forward a little more with some related hand motions.

I tried to hit a person in the lower tier with the barrel but it didn't quite work or something. Then I went down some stairs. I was in a mall area and my lucidity was fading but not gone. A dream character was upset with me, he was some manager for the mall. "You're ruining everything with your lucidity!" He said, or something.

He was extremely upset that I was doing whatever I pleased. There was a woman nearby I'd somehow gotten fired or something (but she was all the more happy about it) and the man became angry and he wanted to have a serious go at me now. But I somehow just turned it against him, kind of willing some help from the woman and she automatically started defending me, distracting the manager man. I was no longer lucid at this point and had been letting myself go along with the dream too much. Eventually I just woke up.

---

Edit:

Spoiler for Notes (in spoiler due to their length):

- Because I wasn't expecting to have a lucid dream so spontaneously, the whole journey through lucidity felt a little bit premature even as I was dreaming; part of my reason for continuing to do checks even while lucid was because I was having trouble believing I was indeed lucid but with such a different (lower) vividness compared to previous experiences. Ideally I need to create some scripts for "episodes" of what I'd like to do in future lucid dreams.

- The most prominent sub-conscious threshold crossing was definitely the part with the echoing voice. I felt myself speak in reply in a way I've never really felt myself speak before, where the feeling of what I was saying wasn't "mine" in the sense of my lucid awareness. The voice referred to the death of one of my older siblings (T); this has a context as far as I can tell, as I used to have dreams both about T dying and about me murdering him, when I was much younger, in my early teens I think. I have of course thought about those old dreams many times, but they had not recently been consciously present in my mind, so this experience was really quite interesting, but I am not too interested in putting any special meaning into it for the time being; I would rather let it manifest itself (the voice or context) again in the future and simply see where it wants to go.

- In the dream I did not appreciate this intrusion mostly because I prefer to keep family-related thoughts separate from personal indulgences and so on, in good part because of personal experience in waking life of finding it annoying. On the other hand, I did not wish to dismiss anything forcibly since I know that can be counter-productive and in all likelihood may just work against my lucidity. In the future I will remain more open to such intrusions and try to explore them to know if there is something "resolvable" within their contexts.

- The fact that my dream self after the transformation was wearing a labcoat was interesting, because I had not lucidly suggested this and when I took over into first person of my dream self once again, I was no longer wearing it. I take this mostly as a sign that my artificial introduction of it as a dream sign has become somewhat successful.

- I expect that part of the low detail of the (comparatively) smaller landscape and cities was due to both the fact I'd somehow made myself marginally "too big" but also due to the fact that it was a spontaneous decision, not allowing me to really try and imagine the detail as required. I have seen enough birds' eye points of views that my dream mind should be able to simulate the perspective correctly; it was mostly as though the details were blurred and unclear, rather than missing or incorrect.

- This lucid experience was radically different in feel due to the decreased vividness compared to previous ones, but what really felt different was just the sense of calm and serenity of my mind. Although I can't say I was thinking completely clearly, I was also able to appreciate the nuances of being conscious in the dream world in a way I simply haven't had time to do so in the previous experiences; by comparison, they had all felt extremely rushy.

- During the experience I completely forgot my long-standing desire to look for the blue-eyed black lizard, something else I should include in my "scripts".

- While I have been more mindful throughout the day to do RCs more often, I don't believe this was the sole cause but a factor in what promoted lucidity's occurrence. There are several things I need to point out to myself here:
-- This dream effectively came about as a WBTB, because after my first waking at 8:30 or so, I had gotten up, had passing thoughts about WBTB and as I got back in bed reminded myself that I was capable of lucid dreaming, I had done it before.
-- I am again on a combination of medication that helps my sleep be more restful compared to its native state.
-- On top of that, I started taking the B vitamin complex too, which has certainly made changes to my dreaming experience, and to a much greater degree than I'd imagined it ever would, if at all.

4th August 2020 8:30

Dream (Fragmented):

Fairly long and vivid, completely continuous all the way through, though I remember the last parts better, mostly.

+ The very first bit I recall, was in a maintenance tunnel of sorts. It was a typical grey-white looking tunnel, painted brickwork, artificial and cold lights, but quite bright. There was piping painted the same way. I was configuring a gun that fired four shots simultaneously and each barrel could be re-rolled to have a random element. I remember testing the gun each time I re-rolled the stats.

+ In one earlier bit I was around my old home area and was going to play basketball with some black friends, after I'd asked what they were up to or something. We got to a basketball arena of some kind, it looked odd, it was indoors now and was all rusty and/or fleshy. I didn't care much. In the end the game was more like half basketball, half rugby and somehow I needed my sibling T's help to finish the game so I had to go find him or something.

Then, the last part;

I was at some sort of religious gathering, there were pews and there was a seat reserved for a representative of each major religion and some seats reserved for representatives of other smaller religions, but the representatives themselves were absent. A woman appeared, she was dressed in what I can only remember as a "revealing" dress; she was a seductress of some sort and teased these religious representatives. But they knew her as is if she did this regularly and they let themselves be entertained by her presence.

I was stuck behind a screen of some sort, like an acrylic screen. Then I got out of that place somehow. My old school friend, JC, appeared at some point when I was outside. Dark and moody streets, maybe a bit wet even. Night time but lit by neon signs and other such things. Me and JC knocked someone out and I remember shooting a group of patrolling guards in a line, taking each one out. Then JC took a hazmat from one of these guys.

(Cut some of this bit short because of my pain)

We walked at brisk pace, for quite a long way; through a city, then a mall, a toilet roll store (with vividly coloured packaging), then a baby store, inside an ASDA/Walmart place and then we get held up in some queue for the supermarket. So we started running and jumped over a balcony or stair bit onto an outdoor area, and the crowd stuck in the queue got angered by this for some reason and many of them followed suit. It was day time, I remember around noon or afternoon. Sunny and I recall the grass by the side of the pavement and general greenery.

I tried to sprint. Running felt slow, but not as bad as in nightmares from my childhood. It mostly just felt annoying, but someone nearly tripped me up from behind (stepping on my heel). I didn't look back but sort of had a rear vision? JC caught up to me and took off the hazmat mask. We approached a gas station next to where his home supposedly was in the dream. JC shot a guard that he'd initially forgotten was there. I told him he was an idiot, because they had cameras at the gas station, and what had he just done? Taken his mask off.

But we were on the final stretch to getting to his home and I woke up, sweating, as seems to be normal when I have these vivid and intense dreams.

---

Notes:
- I haven't seen JC in a dream in a while but oddly enough his likeness was very much as I remember it from my teens, when I was at school with him. He was slightly shorter than me too.
- The basketball arena was odd but I think it probably came from recently playing certain games; for some reason the concept of arena was enough to cause the two things to associate this way.
- T's appearance matched the dirty and partly grotesque appearance of the arena.

- This DJ entry is called pre-cursor because of the next entry, which took place today too.