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I woke up at 5:14am when Nicole woke up for school. Then again at 6:45am to get Chris ready for school. I dozed off again and got up at 7:10am to take Chris to school. I went pee, got some water, cleaned a pee puddle because Nicole forgot to let Bella out, then went to bed at about 7:30am. I woke up at 9:34am, then tried to go back to sleep. I lay a while before finally feeling some vibrations. A few waves came over me before I finally got that feeling of sliding involuntarily across the bed. I thought for a moment that I might actually roll off the edge like Xanous does in his DEILDs, but the sliding abruptly stopped. I felt like I was already in a dream, and still aware yay! But when I tried to open my dream eyes, they were glued shut. I was still dreaming, and I could feel my bed, so I just got up and felt for the door, blind and all. I opened the door and went into the hall, feeling my way all the while. I was already thinking about the advanced TOTM, but the chance of regaining my eyesight, going back in time and finding water seemed pretty bleak at this point. I clapped my hands, shouted for more light. I even wiggled my hands in front of my face and could barely make something out, but I was still for the most part blind as a bat. I found another door that doesn't exist irl, and opened it. LIGHT halleluiah! I found myself in an oyster dive, overlooking the ocean. It looked like a delta in the everglades, that stretched out to the gulf. Only thing between me and the water was the front door of the dive and a parking lot and some sand. I went out the screen door, and stepped into the parking lot. I could see the bright orange sun getting close to setting, so I knew I needed to work fast. A little dude dressed in a white suit, who looked like that little guy from Fantasy Island, was there to greet me in his car. He said he would drive me to the shore. I said no thanks, I didn't want to drive or walk because I'm running out of time and the scene tends to change on me when I do that. So I remembered my mistake from my last lucid, and that I should have flown to my destination. So I did a little running start, and managed to fly/hop like a wounded bird and quickly made it to the shore. The little dude met me there in his car anyway. It was still light out, but the sun had just set. And the water now looked black, arrrghhhh. I think of the task and don't want to blow it, so I bravely step into the water and start walking to the deeper part, preparing to dive in. I don't know how I'm going to see down there, and I'm not even in the Cretaceous Era. So I'm about shin deep now, and as I'm pondering how I can make time travel and light happen, I see two somethings under the water, racing straight for me, creating huge wakes. I turned around and ran straight out of the water, and angled right. I looked over my shoulder, and the little dude was still on the beach. Two gigantic animatronic pliosaurs shot out of the water, and one of them ate the little dude! I just kept running along the beach. I was having a hard time running AWAY from the beach, more like I just kept running along the shore line. I lost my sight again and either went nonlucid or woke up briefly, I can't remember.

I'm glad I had my 3rd successful WILD with no breaks in consciousness, and that I made it in the water at least somewhat. And hell, my subC was even able to conjure some cretaceous beasts, so I feel like it was half the battle. Facing those beasts again though is going to be a struggle, especially since now I know I left one of them hungry:

I haven't been dreaming a lot, but last night I remember a tiny fragment of a dream. I walked into my restroom feeling disoriented and picked up my anxiety pills. I don't know why I did what I did next, but I picked up the pills and took a few more than I should have. I knew it was too much. Then after swallowing them I came to my senses and wished I didn't. Good thing it was just a dream.

Also I remember taking a sip of a drink that I don't currently have in my fridge. Just a couple fragments for today.

Commentary non-lucid

I was on vacation for the weekend and didn't have a great chance to work on my dreaming. I had one dream that was memorable that I will relate.

I went on a walk with my family. To my dismay, my dad brought along the family dog . While walking, it started shitting. It went several times in a large circle and made what looked like a mushroom fairy ring. The problem was that we didn't have anything to pick it up with. My dad was about to walk back to the apartment to get a plastic bag but I just wanted to get on with our walk. I walked into the street where there was a lot of trash. I thought there would be some bags available. There were but they were mostly dirty. I found one that was fairly clean and started cleaning the crap. Some punk rock looking people arrived and one of them who was pretty large started helping me put crap in my bag. He missed and the crap landed on my shirt and pants. I got pissed and started to argue with him. He was giggling that he did it and I wanted to start a fight. I put up my hands into fighting position and took on the form of many different fighters that I've seen including an old man fighting a young whippersnapper, a kung fu fighter, and some others. As this transformation was occurring, me and the guy started to lose our anger and it became fun. Other concerned people were descending upon us, about to break us up. I turned and reassured them with a song.... "It's just a faaaantasy, no need to woooory. It's just a faaaantasy...something something something." I don't know if this meant that I knew that I was dreaming or that I knew that we were just play fighting.

Later, I was in a house where a party was occurring. I don't recall much now, but I know that at one point my grandfather died. I felt bad because it was my fault. At that, he came back to life and then just disappeared. We were like, "he disappeared!"

Some people were trying to take a picture with me, but I didn't know who they were.

Uggh. Crappy recall.

This first dream was very silly. I apologize for the lack of detail.

I can remember some dream that I had about me and my father, we were going backpacking in some mountains. I can't remember the dream very well up until the part where we arrived at this cabin.
We sat down in this log cabin, Me, him and a few other DCs. My dad took out this GIANT slab of beef and started to take bites off of it. (It was a sort of cylinder shape, about a foot around and a foot tall.) I must have been giving him a funny look because he told me that he was so hungry from carrying a heavy backpack all day that he would eat the whole thing.
He started to offer me various foods. I can remember trying some chicken and fried fish. Somehow when my dad took the food out of his backpack it would fly into my mouth.
But the final food was the one that I remember most vividly, a piece of pizza. When I bit into it, the taste was vivid and realistic, the only worthwhile part of the dream.
This dream had a rare ending, It faded back into sleep, instead of me waking up. Probably the reason for the lack of clarity.

I can remember achieving lucidity after some dream character told me that I was dreaming. But as soon as I did the dream destabilized, and I partially woke up. I was stuck in this nether world between being in this lucid dream and being awake.
I knew that I could either allow myself to wake up or attempt to stabilize the dream, but it was clear to me that stabilizing the dream carried only a very slim chance of salvaging it. I allowed myself to awake.
The outcome of the dream was not what interested me. Being in that "between" state for so long was what interested me.

So anyways, now that I am returning, I have come up with a strategy to achieve lucids. (And avoid crappy nights like this) And it is as simple as it should be effective:

I will do a Mantra session, sit and think or say quietly that I will lucid dream and remember it. I will do this based on time (Starting out at 30 minutes each night) I will document my time with DJ entries the following morning.

Once I can reliably lucid with 30 minutes each night, I will begin to reduce the time, a few minutes at a time. If I am struggling, I may increase the time that I do it.

My ultimate hope is to get myself to the point that I can lucid dream every night with just a few minutes of mantra sessions, or better yet, none.

So it is essentially an organized attempt on the MILD method.

okay, so to start I'm in my own house but in the dream my house is my cousin's house in scottland.
first thing I remember is waking up, we have to get ready for school. I go down stairs to get brecfust and its Ilse's birthday my youngest cousins so for breakfast were having 'Moshi Monsters cakes. None of the others of my cousins are down so I go back upstairs. The only people downstairs are My Antie Jo, and Uncle Rob.
when I come back down, they are all in the living room eating breakfast, but this time its not the Moshi monsters stuff and there eating like massive biscutes. some of them are the sise of the plates there on and there is about five on each but at the bottom of the biscuits is a piece of tost, that are like, crusted with Sugar.

The next dream I'm audichioning for Xfactor. For some reson, its not on the massive stage. Its in my Holiday home. It is with all the Judges from the TV series (the UK vershion)
I start to sing 'PainKillers' by Lauren Pritchard. For some reson I keep going out of tune I know this sounds self centered, but I do not go out of tune... ever. Its the one thing that is actually good for my voice the juges seem to be nice enough. They ask me to try again, so I do a difrent song, and again I'm going out of tune. for some reson one of the judges is my teacher Mrs F who no longer teaches me they tell me that I'm through even though I sound dreadful.

Dream - Lucid

I was sitting at a desk in a classroom with many other people, lots of them I knew from high school. The desks were all set up in this huge square. We were taking the GRE.

It was very quiet in the room, of course, as we all bubbled in answers on our papers. There was a test proctor walking around keeping time (it's a timed test). During this time, I remember looking across the room and seeing Rob, this guy I went to high school with. I knew he had taken the test quite a few times because he kept doing poorly.

We then had a break to all get up and go use the bathroom and such.

I then remember sitting back down, this time I feel like I was sitting around the area that Rob had been sitting. I remember my high school friend Sara being there as well, though her hair was shorter than I remember. We were about to take the writing portion of the test. I went through the opinion/argumentative writing part, and felt just fine about it. Time was called, and then we started the next writing portion, analyzing an argument, a part of the test where you have to be able to read a simple argument, and pick out its fallacies. The short argument was on the paper in quotations, bigger print and italics. I don't remember what it said exactly, but I spent a lot of time thinking about what to write. I had been nervous about this part of the test to begin with. During this time, I actually remembered that this was supposed to be a computer-based test now, not paper-based, but I just didn't worry too much about it.

I wrote a couple of sentences on my notebook paper, but then erased them. Someone close by to me warned me they were about to call time. Not two seconds later, the test proctor called time. Fuck! I didn't have anything written! I was going to have to take it again. The score was going to be completely unacceptable to any of the graduate programs I wanted to attend.

I then was in the same room again, retaking the test. The same group of people was in there. I don't remember details of this part.

Then, the tests were taken up when we were done. They were put in colored folders, I seem to remember purple being one, on this bin/shelf that looked like it was in my closet, but it wasn't my closet? Weird. Well, I wanted to see mine and maaaybe correct some things on it if I could, but I knew that was cheating, and I'm sure they kept a close eye on them. I kind of thumbed through them, but didn't make any corrections. I was afraid I'd get in trouble just for touching the tests. I remember seeing the bin/shelf of results throughout the rest of the dream.

~

I was with my friend Mike and some other people. We were in some video game. I don't know what our mission was, but it involved getting some items to someone behind a big door at the back of the bar. The door was inaccessible unless we had these items.

We were in an old, dark, dilapidated bar sometime in the distant future. There was all this swamp area inside of it that would kill us if we touched it. I don't remember who touched it first, if it was me or someone I was with, but we all ended up just jumping in the swamp. I remember thinking it would hurt to die, but it didn't. I remember floating down into the swamp, feeling a little weird, and then, we were alive again inside the bar.

We then saw the bar as it had been thousands of years prior. It had a few people in it, and looked brighter and, of course, it wasn't worn out and dilapidated. There was also no swamp area. We went up to the bar and the bar tenders, I remember for sure one was a woman, said something to us.

Then, it started to age in fast motion. I watched out a window as the trees outside withered and died (apparently this was the end of the world or something), and the light looked more and more orange, like a sunset. The bar was then the same swampy bar we had originally walked into. There were still people tending bar, but they were, of course, not the same people as when the bar was young. One of the girls that was with us reached behind the bar for these orange drinks.

I remember us falling into the swamp again, and this time, I was more prepared for the feeling. I again saw the swamp around me, and the people I was with falling inside the swamp as I was. We were then alive again in the bar shortly after falling into the swamp.

I remember something about us having to collect hairpins for some reason? I don't know if we ever did, but I remember it having something to do with our mission.

~

I was with Mike again, but this time, it was just us. We were 15 years old again for some reason, but we knew we had been older before. It was weird.

We were outside on a sunny day, and Mike wanted to find some booze. I asked him if he wanted beer, liquor, or wine, and proceeded to explain where we could find each of them. I don't remember what he said, but we went to go look.

We approached this extremely windy tunnel, and Mike had the idea to get out this black umbrella so we could block the wind with it (it was kind of video-gamey here). We opened the umbrella, put it out in front of us to block the wind, and slowly walked through the tunnel. You could see the white wisps of wind around us, again, like you probably would in a video game. We finally made it out to the other side, and the umbrella was tattered and torn. But we made it out!

Then, we were in some bar, and asked for a bottle of some kind of booze, I can't quite remember which, though I think it was liquor.
"How old are you?" the bartender asked.
I had my ID out just in case.
"15" replied Mike.
Lolwut. He isn't going to sell it to us now, idiot!
He then went back to get us our liquor. HUH?!? That should NOT have worked!

We then saw him getting our liquor, and another male bartender, who was apparently pissed at for some reason, spit inside the bottle before giving it to the original bartender to give to us. Ewww. He then gave us the bottle of liquor. I tried to take a swig of the amber liquor, but it was mostly slimy, like spit. I spit some of it out, and took another. The same thing happened. It rested in my mouth for a second before I decided to swallow it. Just the idea that I had drank someone else's saliva was gross, but I didn't puke or spit it out this time. I guess when you're 15 and you find liquor, you just take what you can get.

~

Weird half-asleep dream this morning.

I was inside some volcano that was going to erupt the next day; it was inevitable. Spock from Star Trek was building this very small (and when I say small, think a child's playhouse) building out of small, square, crumpled white pieces of paper. I saw many were not squared off, so with my mind, I squared them off. It was all then white wicker instead? Other Star Trek characters were there as well.

The building was supposed to be sacred, a shrine of some sort. I remember the floor of it being completely wicker, and I remember building a lot of it with my mind, though Spock was supposed to be building it. I then saw Spock with long, straight black hair, and he was sad. He said it was no use, it would be destroyed by the lava from the volcano. The tiny building was complete, save for a roof. He then rolled this white rack over to an opening in the wall of the building
"These are hangers" he said. I then saw some hangers on top of the rack. I supposed they were for coats or something for people visiting the building. I guess no matter how doomed the building was, he was kind of in denial about it, in a way. He wanted to believe it would be ok, even though he knew it was going to be destroyed.

Seems my recall is getting better. Tonight I managed to recall 4 different dreams.

The first one was a bit short, but strange. I was at work doing normal things... Sorta. I recall I had some sort of mecha that assisted me in adjusting many prices and labels quickly. I pass by another employee who I have never seen before. She just gave me a look like, "This day needs to be over, now." Returning a gesture, we go on our way. Right before the dream collapses, I hear what sounded like almost like my dad calling my name. It was clear and somewhat loud. The dream ends and I am wide awake at around 03:40.

The next dream is a bit harder to recall all of the details. The main idea is a few friends and myself are in some sort of zombie apocalypse area, but feels like some sort of survival game. Lots of platforms and other such useless obstacles. I recall that something happens and my friend and I find ourselves in a pit with thousands of them. They pretty much leave me alone, but go after the other guy instead. Running to try to help out however I can (we are dead anyway), the zombies all stop. Circled around us, the leaders of the undead army are speaking with us. They have a ancient Egyptian ruler look to them. I don't quite remember what they said, but due to the death of someone living, they needed someone who is alive to rule the army, else they cease to exist. Looking at me, something happens, bright lights blind me, and proclaim me as ruler. At this point, the dream ends gradually.

The next dream my brother and I are at some undisclosed location. It feels like a school, but is like an apartment complex. I really have no clue what the place is. Red brick seemed to be the common theme. Not much happens as the place is still under construction, but eventually a bunch of people are carrying my bro towards the entrance. He does not look good. They say he ate something, and suddenly cant move. The dream implies an ambulance took him to the hospital, and he recovers. Not long after that, my cat did the same thing! Very weird, so I decide to take him to the vet. Though this proves troublesome as we had a hard time keeping him in the vehicle. Which is weird since he should not have been able to move. The dream ends around this time.

The last one not too much happens. I am heading to a relatives house, but decide to get some food before hand. I pick up some popcorn chicken from a generic chicken joint, but still manage to get a chicken sandwich. I get there and my parents are there as well. Not too eventful as it's just normal conversations that I can't recall.

=Stats=
Month: Phoenix
Goal: Fix Recall
Dreams remembered: 4 (+2)
Time: 03:00 - 08:00
Length: Normal
Clarity: Somewhat clear
=End Stats=

Hey guys! First dream journal entry here. I've been recording a few of my dreams lately and i've had about 10 lucids altogethher.

Well here we go.

The dream started at my old school in New Zealand, I was walking around talking to other classmates and the bell rung. I knew what my first few classes we're and I guess my dream decided to skip them. It came to 5/6th period and I realized I didn't have my schedule. Although I knew what my next class was, oddly. I went in and I couldn't figure out what subject it was. The teacher was telling us not to fear the class. I guess, somehow the class was about Octopus's? The dream, very subtly, changed abit and the class was filled with water. An octopus was latched to my leg, wrapping around it. It felt insanely weird but the teacher calmed me down and told me that it couldn't hurt me. Suddenly I was in a hallway and I saw my ex girlfriend, walking down the hallway with the other foreign exchange guy that had already left the states. I was thinking of asking him how he got back here, but my dream ended before I got the opportunity.

A different REM period

The dream begun at my old hometown in New Zealand. My brother had driven us to the town, and he was getting Fish 'n' Chips for us. I saw smoke coming from the engine of the truck, and opened the hood up. There was a fire! Me and a friend started trying to blow it out. After awhile of blowing the fire out, it finally stopped re-igniting. I'm not sure how my buddy got there, but he was gone after we had fixed the engine. Once the fire was out, I noticed that it had burned the whole engine and everything. The fire had resided towards the front seats of the car and there was a bunch of ash. I closed the hood, and surprisingly my old teacher from my school in New Zealand was there. She came up to me stressing out that I was back. The first thing she said, was in a condescending tone and she asked "Are you and your brother going to buy oregano???" I continued to convince her we weren't. (By oregano, I think she meant Marijuana ^-^) In the dream, and also right now. I found that extremely funny. I started biking back to our house, since the truck was trashed and I dont know how, but I ended up on the trails that me and my family were biking on the other day. And the dream ends!
Looking forward to my next lucid, so I can post it on here!
Thanks for reading guys and gals

i drempt about driving to a rugby game with a coach and friend. we were following morogan in the car but we lost her and then kinda back tracked. aafter we got off the off ramp of the free way i found a luttle bungalow that i culd rest under. there were 2 of my friends and 3 of my enemiesl they were big and scared me. they tried to take my bike so i picked up my bike and slammed it accross the face of the tallest one. he dropped to the ground nd i kpt him submittied through reweseling moves.

then i kinda shifted focus and was picking out a greeting for my mom for mothers day. she did not believe me when i said i was down in los altos so i figured id send her a video of some baseball player singing. when i got home i think it sent to her but i never gotta see her reaction to it cause i got side tracked talking withw my dad about somthing.

and before all this i remember damien and i were coming home from a road trip trying to think of a place to go. he said were ever we end up is where we end up,

and of course the ending of the dream a dream character refrenced the movie i just watched about "time is money" and he was extremly young looking but old in a weeel chair. he had been alive hundreds of yaers and became mentally done with. he offered me some of his years

I had a dream that I was going to college. It was like a graduation ceremony, though, except it was for the new students. They started by calling the names of the students who'd earned scholarships, then went on to call everyone else, one by one. There were seats in the front of the room, behind the official people calling names, facing the back, for all the students whose names had already been called. They were also higher up; the room was like an auditorium, where it's slanted, except the front of the room was higher up). It was really exciting when they called my name.

After I'd been called, though, I remembered that I still had another year of high school... but then I just assumed this ceremony was for the students who'd been accepted and would be starting college next fall.

In the next dream, my family and I had moved to a hotel in North Carolina, but I really didn't want to be there. The hotel was not very good, and I assumed the rest of the state was the same.

I woke up from that dream and started writing in my dream journal. I'd written almost one page when I heard my mom call from the dining room to say that breakfast was ready. I told her I'd be out in just a moment and continued writing.

...then I woke up.

In my first dream I had two dogs, which I do in real life, but they were both black labs, while I have two weimaraners. Oh and they could both talk. But no one else knew that, so when we went over to a friends house, I had to make sure they acted like "normal" dogs. We went around my hometown, basically just doing nothing.

The second dream I was at my Dad's house. There was a jungle in the back yard. We went out there with a bunch of other people. We were all carrying machetes, and I have no idea what we were looking for. Then I got bit by snake. I remember the pattern was red on the head and tail, one stripe of yellow about a 1/3 of the way down from its head, and the middle was solid black. It bit me, but just at that instant I cut its head off with my machete. My dad took me to his house, and I remember one of the people saying that i had minutes to live, while the nearest hospital was thirty minutes away. Then my alarm went off.

My normal dream signs (haze, altered perspective) were still there.

Italic Text = Personal Thoughts
Normal Text = Non-Lucid Segment
Light Purple Text = Partially Lucid Segment
Purple Text = Lucid Segment

19th Lucid Dream:
I was back in school with all my old friends and for some reason I had taken my dream journal with me. Somebody asked me what it was and I avoided the subject in fear of them reading my dreams.

After a short while of talking about all kinds of subjects (most of which I don't even recall) we got back onto the subject of lucid dreaming. Apparently one of my friends had a lucid dream by accident and everyone was calling her crazy for thinking she could have had this experience. I whipped out my dream journal to prove to them that it did exist. When they were all convinced we started talking about fun things to do in a lucid dream. Somebody was talking about how awesome it would be to have a really dark and sadistic dream. I decided to see if I could have a lucid nap, so I laid my head on the desk and "fell asleep", despite already being asleep.

There was a pretty instant scene transition and I was immediately lucid. I was at the bottom of this beautiful grassy hill with white fences leading up a paved path and at the top a castle with a huge, grand entrance. I climbed the hill and upon reaching the top I recall reading something about following different signs in a dream for the style of dream you want to have. In this case I had two very distinct paths, an angelic, glowing white entrance to this castle and a dark, dead graveyard-looking scene to the right hand side.

I was compelled to head towards the dark path, considering the conversation I had in the non-lucid prior to this. I jumped down off the small ledge and ended up in what looked like a dead wheat field. It was all dark greys with these blood-coloured crystals scattered around embedded in stone pillars. In the middle was a ruined stone shack and I climbed up on top of it. Below was a cellar which had been exposed, and I was ready to jump down into it.

Before jumping I figured I would reality check to solidify my lucidity. As I did the scene became increasingly vivid and I began thinking about the fact that when I woke I would have to write down this dream in the middle of the class that I had fell asleep in. Not knowing that the previous experience was just a dream and I was actually asleep in bed.

I jumped down inside, it was an extremely enclosed space of ruined stone walls. Through a hole in one of the walls I saw these stones moving about by themselves. I slipped through the hole and on the other side I saw all of these stones come together and form a sort of earth elemental creature. He charged at me but I grabbed hold of his stone hand and swung him around in circles, like I was doing an around-the-world with a yo-yo, and let him go, smashing him into the ground and breaking him apart. He reformed and almost squashed me amongst all of the rocks coming together on top of me, but I ducked and managed to avoid it.

I noticed more of these stone creatures forming to guard this bridge in the distance so to kill two birds with one stone (no pun intended) I ran up to this closest earth elemental and avoided the sword he started slashing at me. I grabbed hold of him again and launched him the other earth elementals in the distance, smashing them all to pieces.

As I started walking up to the bridge, the dream faded to black and I woke.

20th Lucid Dream:
I was sitting in my kitchen with my parents, I can't remember what we were talking about but I do remember the torrential rainfall occurring outside.

At some point the rain briefly stopped before snow started gushing out of the sky. It got increasingly large until snowball-sized snowflakes were falling down. I was convinced that I wasn't dreaming, but I seemed to get the idea to reality check anyway.

As I checked my hands, I was baffled when I discovered I was in fact dreaming. I had to check multiple times to believe it. I stood up and headed to the door, and instead of opening it to go outside like I've done in my previous dreams I figured I would just phase through it.

I walked through and I got the same sense walking through it as I did when I scene transitioned when walking through a wall in a previous dream. All of the images rushed by my view, clearing way for pitch blackness. I was sitting in a sort of void, waiting for a new scene to form but nothing was coming, I was just a floating consciousness in the pitch blackness without a body.

Somehow, I started walking regardless. I was stepping aimlessly through the darkness and trying to come up with a scene that I could create. My attempts, however, were futile. As I continued walking I seemed to just step into the waking world and found myself back in my bed.

In which I find out that my grandmother isn't really dead...

I'm at my dad's cabin and we are drinking beer and sitting on his bunk beds. He accidentally tells me that my grandmother is still alive. I don't believe him at first and remind him that I went to her funeral. He points out that there was no coffin- just an urn- so how do I know that it was really full of ashes from her body? I'm shocked.

He explains that she actually had some brain damage and now lives in a nursing home. I start to cry about this. Guilt rolls over me. I'm thinking of her sitting there alone for a decade in a nursing home. My dad explains that she wouldn't know me anyway and that the reason he staged the funeral was to spare us the hurt of trying to help her when she wouldn't even recognize us. I tell him that I'm sure she'd know me, but he says this is emotional thinking. He says that everyone thinks their loved one will recognize them, and then they are doubly hurt when they don't. He explains that it's not personal, it's biological, and that there is no way my grandmother knows who we are. She can't even remember who she is.

Well this relieves my guilt a little bit because it means that at least she isn't sitting around wondering why I've forsaken her. But then a new horror upsets me. That means she's been sitting in this nursing home for ten years in a frightened and confused state. She doesn't know who she is or where she is and she can't remember anything about her life. Can you imagine how horrible that might be? I start to cry and I tell my dad that he shouldn't have left her all alone. Maybe the people aren't nice to her. Maybe we could at least make her less afraid or less lonely even if she didn't know us. We would have more patience and try harder to make her more comfortable.

I'm really upset and full of regret. It's such a horrible feeling that I wake up slightly. In reality, I'm actually in a hotel room, but I don't wake up enough to realize that. I wake up and I still think I'm in the bunk in dad's cabin. I'm in bed still upset, determined that in the morning I'm going to jump a flight to Houston to see what I can do about my grandmother's situation. But then slowly it dawns on me that she really is dead. She died of cancer and I wasn't there at the end because I was young and busy and going about my life. The end came fast, and she'd been surrounded by the people she loved, except for me. I hadn't wanted to face it, so I never even talked to her about it in the last few months. So on the one hand I'm relieved that the dream isn't real, but on the other hand I stiill feel guilty about the truth. It was a horrible night.

09.04.2012

$175 Phone Bill (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I had to pay $175 for a phone Bill, and the due date was today in dream time. My father told me to make sure I pay it off, and I told him that I will, and that he doesn't have to remind me.

_________________________

09.04.2012

Kingly Implings (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm catching Kingly Implings again in a wheat maze, I'm literally see more and more of them pop up in the maze, and all I'm doing is just feeling as if I'm going to make more cash by continuing to hoard all the ones spawned.

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09.04.2012

Someone's Dream Guide (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I think I summoned a dream guide, but I don't know if it's mine, I think I summoned my father's dream guide, but whoever it was, it looked a lot like Catherine from the game "Catherine."

The dream itself was so random, it's hard to remember anything other than her being summoned, or at least someone that looked like her. I'm confused here...

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09.04.2012

Sex Slave? (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Spoiler for 18+:

I see pictures of someone wearing a black lingerie outfit, and with each progression of the pictures, smaller accessories of clothing start to pile up on them. Apparently the picture the right was a 100% sex slave, and as you go left, it goes down in 10% increments.

The female was tall, had long black, curly hair, and was light-skinned.

09.04.2012

f0rceez Banned someone (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

f0rceez banned someone, though I rather not say who.

He literally posts on a visitor message wall, "BANND"

Yes, without the "e."

Today's recall featured the harmonious symphony of my piano keys. I was playing them at 3 a.m. in the dark to my sleeping roomate. Lmfao! And then I went into a different room because I suddenly became concerned with his ability to sleep. I came back and he was like can you turn and down? I had a waha moment and was like dude ! i didn't turn on the t.v. i "woke up" at 4 a.m. The beauty of it is even though I wasn't lucid I could tell I was closer to awareness because of my surrounding
yeeea.
tonight i will lucid !