All DJ Entries

9-6-08?

Lucid Dream:I'm trying to read my very messy notes here.

I was lucid and flying. I was trying to fly up and through the clouds. I kept flying through the clouds but never managed to break through the other side which was the goal.

I also had a point where I was trying to fly up and had the typical "powerline" experience. I couldn't believe I was having problems with this again.
I also remember at some point in this dream I had flown to the top of a really high building. I walked to the edge. I told myself that I knew 100% that I was dreaming, yet it still made me nervous to walk to the edge. I usually fall off building backwards (by choice) but this time I decided to be brave and look straight down as I leaned off the edge.

I don't remember what the fall was like, but I remember feeling disappointed. I ended up back at the top of the building and this time I let myself fall backwards like I had wanted to do. I enjoyed the feeling as I fell. I fell and kept falling long after I should have hit bottom. I remembered this from past Lds, and told myself I could fall as long as I wanted--there was no reason I had to hit the bottom if I didn't want to. I was falling between to very tall buildings and I remember watching the buildings pass me as I stared up at them (I was laying on my back as I fell). I also remember passing a bridge that connected the two buildings, and watching theat disappear above me as I continued to fall.

The next thing I remember is seeing Ed. I remember wondering what it would be like to kiss him (I guess I had forgotten that I had kissed him in real life a long time ago). I leaned in and started to kiss him. But he had gum in his mouth. And then I found that I also had gum in my mouth. It turned me off to kissing so I stopped trying.

I then remember finding Jeff and asking him if he wanted to fly with me. I think I woke up not long after that.

8-28-08

Lucid dream:

I got off of a bus. The sidewalk was soft like a big matress. I remember doing summersaults and flips as I moved along toward my destination.

I was looking for a shop where I could use the restroom, but I couldn't find one.

Next to the sidewalk was a canal where there were kayaks. I decided I wanted to go kayaking. I saw a kayak with a paddle. I reached for the paddle. but ended up dropping it in the water.

I decided that I would just fly. As soon as I was in the air I realized I was dreaming. I thanked myself for being so aware. I hoped that this meant that flying would now always trigger lucidity. As I flew I thought about what task I wanted to accomplish. The only thing that popped into my head was one of the tasks that I thought was on MM which was talk to an animal...or something like that.

I ended up in a building. I was in the corner of a room. I looked around and couldn't see any animals. But I knew if I just kept looking with the expectation that I would find some, then they would appear.

I turned around and saw that the room was now filled with cats. I went to a group of them that were eating. I asked them to talk to me. But they kept eating. I saw an especially cute orange tabby. It was making a mess with its food.

I told it, "You need to talk to me. Say......um....'I'm sorry for making a mess.' ".

It looked up at me with big green eyes and said, "Sorry...."

I wanted it to talk some more, but I felt myself slip out of the dream. As I felt myself slip, I told myself that I was probably going to just have a FA, so I would just need to remember that and become lucid again.But when I woke up I felt myself in bed, so I figured that I was really awake.

In retrospect, I believe it actually was an FA.

So I need to really pay attention so I can stretch my LDs out.

I haven't been able to remember my dreams in so long so I tried something new and it worked!

A crazy old guy was trying to teach children how to create mountains with their minds. He wasn't good at all his were crippled and just hills. He told the kids though that he was making small ones so the kids weren't jealous. The kids made amazing, tall mountains though on their first tries. The mans wife came out and told him sarcastically, "Oh yeah, your a great teacher."
I wasn't in the dream, he wasn't teaching me or anything and I wasn't the old guy. I guess I was invisible or something.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a movie theater, watching a movie, some romantic comedy. I think one of my friends was there with me. It was a movie I had seen many times, and I kept going back to watch it. I also kept getting a couple of guys to meet me there, one I remember for sure being Nick, the first guy I ever kissed back in the 7th grade. I was really happy in the dream, excited to be going back to the same movie again and again. I apparently did it to give these guys advice.

I was sitting in the theater, which didn't have many people at all in it, and I looked behind me. It was Nick and the other guy. I then looked back towards the movie. Again, I turned behind me, and two cats were sitting in the seats, one being Pounce, an old cat of mine that we had to put down, and maaaybe Belle, my current kitty. I said something about the cats to whoever was sitting with me, smiling as I said it. I was just impressed that they were sitting so close to one another and behaving.

I then left the movie when it was over, and came back later to watch it again. I told someone I was going to see it again to "give advice". I went to sit down in the theater. No one else was there at all. I then looked down at my phone, and noticed it was dying. There were three small lights on top of it by the earpiece, one red, one orange, and one green. Two of the lights were out, meaning that it was going to die when the last light went out. I somehow then associated that with Pounce, and how she was running out of batteries. I needed to charge her...or my phone...or whatever! Also, on the floor by my feet, I saw my pillow, sleeping mask, among other things that I can't recall. It was like I was camping out there or something. I don't know. I then got up to use the bathroom or make a call or something.

I then went back into the theater, and more people were in there now. I hoped no one was sitting in my seat. Surely they would notice all my things there. I remember being worried about the cat/phone battery for awhile.

I remember talking to a friend about it when I was somewhere else, saying I was going to go back to the theater again. I also remember Nick being there when we weren't at the theater at some point.

~

I was talking to a friend about the theater. I said, enthusiastically,
"You know where to find me!"

My alarm then woke me up.

10.16.2012

Surviving Flooding Ship (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

If I took the initiative to immediately type this down when I woke up, there would be more recall on this...Anyway...

I'm on a ship, and it seems to be a cruise ship, and at a minimum assumption, maybe a Navy ship. But it couldn't have been the latter, considering the havoc that would come later on in the dream. The deck has a shiny wooden floor surface on it, at least for the area I'm in at the given time.

I seem to be having a conversation with someone, and I think this person ended up having a machine gun magically appearing, and then lifts it up and warns everyone to run while they can. I'm like 1 feet next to this guy I though was innocent, so I dashed the hell out of there.

I had to first go through the watertight door you see in ships and submarines that was half-way opened, and from there, the dream shifts where I'm at the control center for guiding the ship in certain directions.

I turn my back to the door I went through just now, and the whole thing is flooded.

EVERYTHING below is flooded, there's only a few people in this control room, me, and just 2 females I believe. Holy shit. We're the only survivors in this area!

My gut feeling is telling me that a few people probably did extreme measures of surviving the big flood from the ship, and this assumption is sparked when one of the random DC females gave me a paper the size of an index card. The card had a Milky Light Pink color, and it was fairly rough and durable, seeing how it doesn't bend easily.

On the same card, are values of something, and I don't know what it means at all. I believe the numbers that are stacked on each other is some kind of code for people who survived. I remember looking at one value, where there's one 2 on top, and another 2 on the bottom.

For some reason, when I looked at that, it triggered a memory of my half-sister in waking life, and I presumed that she was on this ship, and managed to survive, even though I was very doubtful anyone could've made it through this fast-flooding ship.

It felt weird that the control room is perfectly safe, even when the whole place is tilted diagonally to the left (your perspective of looking at this screen to the left of course).

I'm relieved that she's alright, along with other values that represent other people that I can't remember.

I believe I had another dream reset where I experienced meeting the few people on the ship again.

Wow.....obvious dream meaning there, but not going to consid-------- okay, I better make an analysis, it wouldn't hurt.

Okay, Ship = a belief

Water = Overall consciousness

Sinking Ship = Let go of Conviction/unshakeable belief I have so I don't drown with it, and become one with my consciousness

Me surviving the flooding ship that's still floating at the top = Me at the apex of eradicating this old belief, and since I'm in the control room, I have control on how I want to set a new direction in life.


Okay. That's enough to make a tear come out to any overly emotional person, but the problem is, just what the hell is/are my belief/beliefs that I need to sink away and get away from?

The only things I can think of are:

-Fear of failing college

-Not getting a job sometime after graduation

-Being somewhat of a nihilistic in terms of everyone's beliefs and preconceptions, but not really advocating the ideal of eradication of a social system....so I'm a "sorta Nihilistic" or "Hipster Nihilistic" or just a "Complains about human race...WAH!"

I'm thinking the dream has to do with this Math exam I have today, but I doubt I would be dramatic over one exam....then again, I still surprise myself every day...

_________________________

10.16.2012

Meeting my High School Spanish Teacher (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This dream probably goes along with the dream I had previously, so I'll just mesh the two together.

I'm inside of a classroom, and I'm memorizing important concepts to do well in this oral presentation. As I'm looking at the teacher, who looks a lot like my Middle School English teacher at some point. Oh, and her name is Ms. Bloom in waking life (Don't think she'll find this Dj entry in the first place anyway).

After a while, when one person gets up and talks, I'm informed by someone sitting to the right of me, I think, who says that memorizing the concepts is not enough, since you have to derive those mechanics into forming an oral presentation on a book we had to read.

I started to panic a little, but I calmed down, and on my lap, there's an essay that seems to be mine. This same essay would be a life saver, because based on my emotions at that given time, I felt relieved. So I presume that I utilized this essay I written out to give the oral presentation, and how well I did is left for speculation.

The dream shifts to where I have to move around in a lot of rooms. I enter one room, and I see Ms. Bloom, and she's in the middle of lecturing students. While you're looking at this screen of course, the teacher formats the class seating where the students would be sitting and facing parallel to my lateral vision.

Ms. Bloom would also be parallel to my lateral vision as well, and she's wearing a fancy Black Laced tank top or some sort, along with a Black dress skirt that would conform to her curves and literally "hug" her thighs" where they become an enticing part of her body to look at. She has one leg over the other, and I realize I'm interrupting her.

So I put my lips inside my mouth, and quickly tip-toed so the other students wouldn't turn back to see who it was. I had a feeling Ms. Bloom saw me, but she just used her peripheral vision most likely and just went out to give a fluent lecture discussion. The walls in this room were Khaki colored, and the flooring had a dark turquoise carpet layer with random shades of blue intertwined.

To the left, despite me not paying any focus on it, but with just my peripheral vision, I could tell that it was mostly dark, as if the students were looking at the school stage that's also contained near the Commons/Cafeteria.

I open the door to the right of me, and now I'm shifted to a different area. It seems I'm at an office base in the school. It's set up where there's different subjects in white font surrounded by a rectangular green sign. The basic subjects were there: Math, Science, English, etc.

I look up at the "Spanish" sign, and I then turned to the right to find that I'm looking at the back of a person talking to someone. The back of her head starts getting familiar, and I slowly walk towards the direction of this person.

It can't be.....it's my Spanish 3 Pre-AP/K-level teacher Ms. Hasan!!!!! At least a projection of her.

Ms. Hasan was an AMAZING spanish teacher, I managed to get an A in that class thanks to her extreme kindness in making things easy for us. Because honestly, taking a 3 year Foreign Language course wasn't necessary, I just needed two years.

She's wearing a black shirt, blue jeans, and has a red rubber-band like necklace starand that's attached to her School I.D. She seems to be holding a white styrofoam cup with something inside, probably coffee. She turns around, sees me, and smiles and says,

"Heeyyyy Brandon!!!!"

She hugs me, and I hug her. I think we started having small conversations that would lead to bigger ones, but I forget what happens next.

_________________________

10.16.2012

4-Lettered Password? (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Okay, this dream...not sure if my mind is teasing me, or giving me a hint here.

I'm inside my apartment, and there's this girl who looks like Emily that I used to know in World History class in High School. I set up a fairly long password on a laptop in the living room of the dream apartment similar to waking life. Then Emily has a 4 lettered password, where the first character on the screen is some other weird letter that I can't guess.

I don't know what's going on in the dream, I just know I feel confused and somewhat irritated that she would just have a 4, or even 5-lettered password.


Oh, and there's one short dream where I compliment someone I know in waking life by the name of Aaron on how well he making his own room with some silver marble coated material.

i snuck into my avesons house through a window and everyone was happy to see me. shelly and mark were in the kitchen helpin out systematically doing the dishes and wen i tried to step in shelly was a lil upset. so i kinda just hung back after a while. there was a huge mountain trail i was running down before i don't know where it led to

This dream takes place in several different areas. It was kind of like an adventure and felt like i was learning about some history in the process. It felt like there were a lot of possibilities, some thinking, making decisions (more lucid), and some familiar faces from college.

The dream started out at the college i was going to in read life. I noticed that it was snowing outside and wondered why.

As I recall, i was near the upper parking lot on the right side or (the North side) of the residential hall that i was living at. When i looked up, the hill that i took the stairs to walk up, was much steeper than in real life and was loaded with several feet of snow. That was so random.

I was aware of this because, as i climbed the steep snowy hill, a few college friends passed me. Talking may have been involved. This i am not certain of.

As i got to the top of the steep snowy hill, i encountered a man who (not able to recall what his name was) seemed like he was lost, or that he was not aware of the below freezing temperature it was outside. This man, for reasons i am not sure of, jumped in a snowy wet trench or hold in the shape of a rectangle. In the process, he froze into an icicle.

While the man froze in the trench, a yellow school bus was parked at the top of the hill in the parking lot. I was slightly aware that i made the decision to get on the bus. The bus left, yet i was not aware that i was moving.

From what i remember, after i got on the bus, i noticed there was a lot of people. The bus took everyone to a bar-type place that had really tall stools and a tall bar counter, almost as tall as the ceiling.

I do not remember getting off the bus, or seeing the bus leave the place i went, because, somehow, i was automatically in the bar area. The bar was in, what looked like a secluded area.

I remember climbling the stool to sit down. It was similar to climbing a very sturdy ladder, because it was such a tall stool.

When i got to the top of the stool, i met a young boy who did not speak. I am thinking he may have only spoke one specific language. From looking at him, it seemed like he was 8 or 9 years of age. After i glanced at him, i diverted my attention from the boy to a really tall shelf.

In this shelf, there appeared to be historic documents and pictures of an ancient Indian tribe. One of the objects i noticed was a statue of an old Indian who may have lived near the bar that i was in. That was interesting to think about.

During that period, my cell phone lit up. I was not certain why this happened. Something that came up in the dream included an ancient Indian spirit who had the last name "Tutrak" or "Turtrak" and a first name that faded after trying to regurgitate the dream situations.

When my phone lit up, there was a fiery glow coming from the phone and directing its focus to the statue of the ancient indian. I was not sure what to think about it.

Shifting from the focus of the glow, i directed my attention away from the bar (maybe in the same building), where i saw a picture of an Indian who was a part of the statue that i saw earlier.

I felt like the picture i saw was vivid. A lot of what i experienced in this dream felt vivid.

When i woke up, my body temperature rose, and i think i was sweating a lot.

I was driving, but I could see everybody who was driving around me, as if there were no doors/windows on the cars. And we were all talking, apparently were had a project to present, but two girls in my group kept ignoring me, even though I knew more than them, so I just gave up.

When I left the "car", I ran into a girl who was the first girl I've ever loved, but we've never been more than friends. We were at this park and there was this room for studying that was made of glass. She was mad because whenever she went there and tried to open a book, another book would open (I think it was on the computer). She kept shouting "It's Victor's fault, it's always Victor's book!"

I went in there too and there were some people from my high school. Then we heard this weird noise, sort of like horses, so I threw myself on the floor, underneath a table, because I thought the people on the horses would kill us.

Nothing happened, but a girl said she was sorry because she had kinda messed a picture of us. I looked at her table and there were three pictures of us. Then I wanted to say that I missed her, but I ended up saying "Eu misso você", which made her laugh, but then we hugged.

Gonna sleep more now.

EDIT: I was on this platform on a river or something. There was a guy pushing a button and this stream of water was shot in front of us. It was pretty cool. Then he pushed the button again and the stream of water was shot to the left. He was like "oops...", pushed it again and it went to the right. It was obviously not supposed to be like that. He pushed it again and it went to the back, but there was a wall there, so the water came back and it took over the platform. I woke up.

When I fell asleep again, I was at a big bus station, waiting for the girl who was the first one I've ever loved. I greeted her and we went to my place, which was a weird and tiny, but also cute, house. When I actually got to my house, though, it was just me. Someone knocked on my door and I thought it was her, but then it was my ex. She started bitching because she had gotten all wet during the whole platform thing from the other dream, I told her to take a hot shower, put on some warm clothes and leave me alone.

And that was it.

dream : comments : lucid

Tuesday, 18th of October 2012

Enooooooormous lot of dreams last night. There was one about being chased by a Terminator-like entity which was shooting at me with a minigun and I decided I needed to get out of town.

The main one was me being in space. Except 'space' was a giant room that slowly gradient-ed into being darker and darker, until the walls and floor disappeared and turned into empty space.
I walked out onto it (there was apparently an invisible floor) and was scared but excited, knowing that at any moment I could lose the ability to breathe and could freeze. I actually reckoned that the air and temperature from the rest of the room was probably seeping a little way out and making it possible to breathe a bit.

While out in the space-ness, I came across a tiny (golf ball sized) version of Mars and its two moons floating around. I began playing with the little planet and pushing it around, changing its orbit, moving the moons, and sending it across the vastness.
Eventually I looked up and saw that in front of me, the blackness had become a thin band and was being replaced by exactly what was behind me. I decided that it was space-time bending around itself and being all wormholeish.

TLDR; I basically played God for a while and was surprisingly sensible about the whole thing. It was awesome.

This is an interesting dream i had, because it included my sister, dad and one of his old musician friend going to a concert

The area was in a light room, with either chairs or a long light bench for others to sit on. I recall dad either having long hair or possibly wearing a wig that may have been a mixture of light brown and dark brown. His hair maybe had some kind of hat or head dress. Looking back i am thinking, "why does his face look exactly like mine?" That was an interesting feeling. Curious.

In the spacious light room that my sister, my dad, his friend and I were in, a concert featuring the Spice Girls was about to start somewhere in that period.

I made my way to sit next to dad and his musician friend. He talked to me about how sitting behind him and his friend would get me a better view of the Spice Girls singing.

I did not see my sister a lot, i think she was either hanging in the front waiting for the concert or went elsewhere. I also could not recognize dad's musician's friend's face, as i only noticed her hair. At least it seemed like it reminded me of dad's old friend.

Before i woke up, i did not see the Spice Girls sing, i am not sure what that was about.

In memory, this dream was a bit vague, because i only remembered flashes. There were two parts.

In the first part of the dream, i was hanging with a guy i met on the internet, to whom i did not remember his name. We were laying on a bed all night talking about something. I do not remember what it was. It seems as if i was located in a place that i lived in real life, while i was going to college. The guy that i was hanging with, we talked a lot during the dream, from what i can recall. It was a dark night. Or maybe i am picking up on an entirely different dream with the dark night. Who knows...
Another thing i noticed about the guy is that he was more feminine, which i really liked. I think i saw that my mom met him.

In the shift, which is the second part of the dream, where i do not remember how i got there, I was situated on a wooden deck with stairs going down to a river. There were vehicles driving down the stairs to park in the water. I can only imagine how confused i was, and knew i was dreaming, though it did not feel so lucid.

I was waiting for something. Then i found myself in a staircase, there was a door, which i opend. Behind that dor a large apardment appeared, i found the father of a girl in the second floor, and i started to drink wiski with him. It was fun, and somehow, we decidet, that he should take his trousers off and play the piano, while doing that, he told me a story about a concert in which everyone just staared at his naked food, and he was iritatedby that, because he wanted that people hear the music he playd. However, i went on up and the stairs where really high to the third floor, and there, lived the girl (rut) i wantet to meet initially, she told me, that she may be pregnant, but she did not really know, she decided to let it go as it will happen. she also told me, that she did not feel to finde with her boyfriend.

Political dream 10/12

There was this huge building, it had about 3-4 floors but the shape resembled the worlds largest round barn in Marshfield, Wisconsin. It had many glass windows with futuristic feel to it. My mom and dad were downstairs, listening to Mitt Romney speak. In this timeline Mitt Romney had become President. I was on the second floor listening to Mitt Romney's brother, Scott. He was doing a press briefing for Mitt. I was impressed that he could answer every question given to him so well. Apparently he knew his brother better than Mitt knew himself. Throughout the press briefing Scott's phone kept ringing. I don't remember him answering it. He just held this large dinosaur of a cell phone in his hand and made witty comments about it any time it rang. He was interesting to listen to, but eventually I got bored and went downstairs to see if mom and dad were done yet.

Short Lucidity 10/13

My aunt and uncle visited our house. They were looking at how different it was since they were last there. I was lounging on the double recliner in our living room which I normally use while browsing my laptop. My relatives were in awe of how beautiful our house was, which was odd. Our house isn't all that special in waking life. I never actually saw much of the house in the dream but it did indeed seem fancier than normal. I got up and found myself in a covered porch. It had a really nice glass roof and the walls were made of logs. I then went outside with my family, continuing the tour. While listening to their conversation I suddenly realized I was dreaming. I have no clue how I knew, but once I noticed I flew straight into the air. Both fists facing the sky I decided "Why not fly to outer space?" I looked down and the ground was so far away. I felt amazed by how easy it always is to fly, then out of nowhere I slam to the ground. I fall so quickly I am thinking "I am dreaming, but I will hit the ground so hard I may die. What is going to happen?" I blacked out for a second, and got back up. I felt sick out of nowhere, but decided to fly back into the air. I got a short distance up and the dream ended.
When I stated I felt sick, it is funny because when I woke up I felt really sick. I had a runny nose, headache, soar throat. I guess my symptoms started showing in my lucid. It is better now two days later, I have just a runny nose now, but still pretty interesting to note.

Superhero dream 10/15

I remembered more about this dream once I woke up but I have not been thinking about the dream at all today so that may affect my recall.
I had spider-man's powers, a stranger had super strength, and my brother had some other superhero's powers. My main goal personally, as well as others was to get, or rather make, swords. I had mine perfectly planned out, what materials it would be made of, the colors, the size, the shape. I don't believe I ever got the full sword sadly, but I recall messing with my powers. I would swing webs to a tall building, and stick on the side of it. I could hear the stranger and my brother talking from inside the building. I don't remember what they were saying, but their conversation led me to believe they were villains. I then tried to see how many webs I could shoot at once. I sent two, then a third, and the first disappeared. I then heard some cops arriving, and swung away to avoid confrontation.

Not sure if it was the same dream or not, but later me and my brother were at home and it was night time. I heard a sound outside which turned out to be our mother making a surprise visit. We had something out in the open in the house that made us having powers dead obvious. Whatever it was must have been something only a super would have. We quickly hid the item and sat in our respective spots on the dual recliner as if nothing happened just as our she walked in. She was none the wiser of who or what we were.

I remember there being a party at my uncle's house, where all of my friends were invited. We wanted to watch Black Dynamite but couldn't for some reason. Not much goin' on there.
There was another dream where my friends and I all lived in the same apartment. I can't remember too much of it but it seemed like the apartment was just a bigger version of my home. Alarm Clocks were involved somewhere...

The most detailed dream of the night, however, was one where I was playing golf. It started out pretty alright, almost got a hole in one, talked to an old guy about... I don't know what, when all of a sudden the world goes dark. There were zombies everywhere and the old man fell into some water, thus turning him into some sort of tentacle beast. Much like in other dreams, the horror I should feel wasn't present at all, but I realized that we needed to run, or else we would die. My family and I just barely managed to escape that monster as everyone who wasn't a police officer or in the military ran away. An officer got close to me to ask me about something but I tossed him into a shed to avoid speaking to him, because, y'know zombies, however, once I reached the car, another officer came to ask me about something called the room of pain. I told her that it was not a physical place, but a sort of mindscape and I even found myself thinking of Silent Hill. Once I had answered her about the room, my family and I were off. Behind us, the place was on fire and it was incredibly dark. The only things to light the way were the lights of the car and, later on, the lights from the buildings, which looked beautiful. I could tell the monsters hadn't touched this place because there wasn't any smoke or fire.

After having tried to have lucid dreams for easily over a month now, i have started slacking on my bedtime schedule and dream journal disciplines and suddenly, I have my first lucid dream.

FIRST LUCID DREAM!!!!!!!!

<non-lucid>
i was in the living room and it was night time. I dont remember how i got there because the previous dream didnt connect. It was dark and I was alone. I was trying to do something with my computer, turn it off or something but something was strange about it. Suddenly when i tried to sit down in my chair, i noticed there was a whole shebang of naked computer hardware hooked up and running lying on my chair, connected to my computer (which was on the other side of my desk) and i get reaally shocked and shout "was ist das denn!?!?!?!?!?" (what the hell is that in German) It was definitely not put there by me and i got worried that somebody broke into our house and that these were the leftovers of my laptop and i had just fried them by sitting on them. I wanted to see what was going on so i went to the light switch but it didnt work. I tried the other lights in the living room and all were dead. I wondered if me sitting on the computer parts could have popped the fuse in the living room so i tried the bedroom light. Also dead. Suddenly it dawned on me <\non-lucid><lucid>"AM I DREAMING?? THIS IS A DREAM!!! I AM DREAMING I AM DREAMING I AM DREAMING..."

I closed my eyes and in excitement, i started rubbing my hands,.. i rubbed them and rubbed them with my eyes closed saying (i am dreaming i am dreaming i am dreaming...) and when i slowly opened my eyes i was on my bed at night. I thought shit... i woke up. But i decided to give it a try anyway. I was breathing very heavily from the excitement and i scooted down to the bottom edge of the bed and tried poking my finger into my palm. the experience was very diffuse but i didnt feel the poke. Light was on in the bathroom and living room but both doors were closed. our bedroom mirror was right ahead of me but it was very dark in the room and i was scared to look into the mirror. after all, not seeing yourself in a mirror, or in a distorted way, i imagine to be a very spooky experience. I tried to pull myself together for whatever might happen now. I could hear myself breathing. Just when i wanted to get up, my wife moved in bed and ripped me out of my dream...<\lucid><awake> i noticed and tried spinning and spinning in my mind, because i wasnt standing yet and because i was already hearing her breathe now next to me... i woke up for real and immediately knew: i just blew my first lucid dream! dang!!!<\awake>

this could be tricky for me because i pop out of dreams very quickly. i can very quickly be wide awake when i hear a sound, and then take forever to fall sleep again. i suppose my wife moves all night long and i dont notice when im asleep. but it might be different when im lucid.

i tried to meditate myself back into another lucid dream, focussing on the occurences in the first one, but i concentrated so hard that i couldnt fall asleep. i suck at meditation. it takes way too much concentration for me and its not relaxing anymore. i even moved into the living room couch, put ear plugs in and tried it there but the only way for me to fall bavk asleep was to just relax and let my mind go do its own thing. And thr next hing i knew was its was morning.