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I got into some sort of army. We had fake swords and assigned washing machines. This one guy was mad because he got ranked with us noobs and said, 'Are you douchin me?!'

Some Catholic church made you convert in this city or you were executed. We had to prove that we were Catholic by reciting bible verses. Also Chuck Norris was working at Best Buy.

My family got into a country club. Everything was free but we had to go with these radical Christians. They sang grace at dinner time. Taylor Swift was there saying something about a bus.

3:17 am

NOTES:

- new sandalwood incense from Divisoria
- calm-abiding meditation
- read 4 pages of Tibetan Yoga
- watched Dante's Cove before sleep
- read comics before sleep
- MILD
- also daydreamed, and daydreamed I realized I was dreaming
- slept on my right side

I am in my room in our hometown. A lot of things are happening. There are also a lot of people. All of a sudden, I have a feeling that everything is weird. I said, Of course everything is weird! I am in a dream!

I laughed. There's a small, noisy white dog or puppy jumping around my room, and it was dark. I commanded to light up the room and told the dog to shut up. They did.

I went to our home's kitchen area. I remembered the Buddha after looking at the living room area from the kitchen area. I imagined a Golden Buddha statue. I went into a vajra position and recited the Manjushri mantra. I felt like I was being guided to say it properly, because it was a little difficult to remember the words. Also, there are a lot of distracting activities going on.

I was able to hold on for a while before I lost lucidity. This was the longest lucid dream I ever had, and the most aware.

This Mornings OBE and Lucid

I am lying in bed and nod off for a few seconds. I wake up now and keep my eyes closed and don't move. I can feel the vibrations and hear the cracking and crunching noise. I think to myself "ok, I'll try and sit up now" but I wasn't ready yet so I relax again, after a few seconds I know I'm ready. I now begin to sit up and my Astral body sits up. I open my eyes, but realise that my real eyes have opened so I quickly shut them again.
I now feel my Astral body separate fully, so again I open my astral eyes and this time I have astral sight. I look at my bedroom window and just fly out of it hands first. I'm now flying over the green outside my house. I also remember flying around the woods opposite and flying around the streets behind me, it's fantastic and so exilerating!
My sight now goes a bit blurry around the edges ((I've never experienced this before)) I call out "clarity now!" My voice echoes a little. I rub my hands together and my scenery stabilises.
I love being fully conscious and in flight, I feel so free. I fly for ages and end up at a beautiful place where the fields are luscious green, and the flowers are beautiful and enhanced. I now see my 2 Daughters "L" and "S", they are flying and I call over to them, they see me and wave. I shout over to them "girls you're dreaming, this is just a dream!" "L" isn't too sure but "S" comes over to me and has a fly with me. I now wake up in real life and "L" and "S" are still in bed fast asleep

Last Nights Lucid Dream

I wake up in bed and feel vibrations so I keep my eyes closed and will myself out of my body. My dream body rises, still in the lying down position and then I tilt so my feet are now facing the floor. I lower down gently to the floor and I'm now in a standing position.
I look around and my vision is blurry and my eyes feel funny so I call out "clarity now!" and rub my hands together. My vision is very crisp and clear now, even better than in real life, which is usually the way it is. I think "hmmm, what shall I do?" I now call out "I want to see my Nan Futrill".
I now end up at another place, my surroundings have changed. I'm at a place which, well all I can describe it as is a massive building with big tree roots there. There are about 3 to 4 levels to this building and I'm now on level 3 I think.
There is another woman with me, she's about my age and I feel a connection to her, like I know her already.
I'm now calling out "Nan Futrill" but I don't see her so I keep calling and she now comes. Nan looks so happy and I feel so much emotion for her, I'm so happy that I've found her. We don't really talk, it's more of a telepathy kind of talking and strong emotions. I remember that my Nan was wearing a light blue apron. Nan now fades away as she walks out through a door. I shout "NO!" and the woman who's with me now comes to me from the other room. She says "she has to go now but you will see her again" and she hugs me. I start to cry now and she says "don't cry, you will see her again, but just not yet".
I'm now wondering around this level and I'm shouting "NAN, NAN PLEASE COME BACK!" I now see my Cousin Richard ((who died when he was 6)) he cuddles me and holds my hand. Me and Richard fly around for a while just enjoying each others company.
Richard now tells me that he has to go back to Nan, but says they will both come back to see me. He hugs me and then goes through a door. I go through the same door but I don't recognise the place, so I go back to the area that I'm very familiar with.
I'm crying so much now because I want my Nan back. I keep shouting her, hoping ill get her back again, I'm absolutely blarting my eyes out.
I'm now flying about and then I feel myself back in bed. I will myself back to the same place and suddenly I'm back there. I see a young baby boy lying on the floor and he's wrapped up in a white shawl. He's also wearing a white babygrow. As I float past him he wakes up, I think "he can't be comfortable there" so I pick him up and cuddle him , he calms down so I take him to his cot. He looks very much like me and has lovely dark brown eyes. I put him into his cot and say "there...is that better now?" He nods and goes back to sleep. ((He's about 2 and a half or 3)). I now gently tuck his shawl round him so he's not cold.
I now wake up again, so I keep my eyes closed and keep still and will myself out again. I do get out and am now in my dream body and standing in my room. My vision is blurry so again I call out "clarity now!" and rub my hands together to stabilise my dream. My vision is now crystal clear.
I see knitting on my floor, I can see every detail, this always amazes me, it's like having HD eyes lol! and my voice no longer echoes. I will myself back to the place I was at and I'm now back there.
I'm now on the bottom level by a desk, it's like a meeting up area. People are sitting around chatting to each other. A group of men now stand near to me. 1 man is looking at me, as they pass they whistle at me, which makes me chuckle. I now go more into the socialising area with the woman who's with me. 1 woman I met there was called Anita. I say "ill remember that because my friend is called Anita". We are both sitting on the root of an old tree. It's a big root and they're all over the place in here. Me and the other woman I'm with now go into the room next door and meet the old man in there. I feel some kind of connection to this man and feel that this man is very high here in authority, if not the highest.
I am floating near floor level and taking in my surroundings. Suddenly I spot the most beautiful item I have ever seen. It's a glass box which is pyramid shaped but a bit longer, like its been stretched slightly. The edges of it and such, apart from the glass, is made out of silver. The silver is shaped in the shape of a rope. Inside the pyramid are beautiful gems. There is a gorgeous gem which is green in colour, it really caught my eye!. I can honestly say I have never seen anything as beautiful as this pyramid in all my living life!!!! This box is sealed with silver, no one can get into it because its so special and precious.
I ask the elderly man if I can fly up and take a better look, he says "of course". He flys up to it and turns it around slowly so I can have a good look at it. This man explained everything about it to me. I now depart and have a good fly around just enjoying the feeling of being free and then I wake up.

-DEILD

Got very strong vibrations again, which went away quickly. When I opened my dream eyes, My room was darker then it was before. So again, I flicked my light switch up and voila, the light came on. I did a nose plug RC, then looked out my window again, this time the weather was all cloudy and rainy out. I walked out to my hallway. There were no lights on so it was pretty dark I thought to myself what if theres the grudge girl or something scary. And that kinda made me nervous that I might have spawned something scary by thinking about it. I ran down my hall with clenched fists ready to punch any monster or grudge girl in the face. But when I turned the corner there was nothing, I was safe. In my living room my dogs were lying on the couch. There was a lump underneath a blanket on the couch that looked like a person so I lifted it up to see, but there was no one there just more blanket. I got to my back door which is all glass. I was only wearing boxers again, but I knew I wouldnt get cold if I didnt think about it so I walked through the glass which felt cool. I only felt like one degree colder outside so it was all good. Now it wasnt rainy anymore but it was sunny and all the leaves were either fallen or red/yellow. I flew over the forest my backyard is connected to and it was awesome. I could feel the wind on every inch of my exposed skin and I span around almost swimming through the air moving pretty quickly and smoothly. I tried to find my way to a near by road but the landscape was all different from real life and I ended up at some random mountain road. Then I woke up.

- Random awareness during false awakening

Got very strong vibrations. Hadn't felt them that strong since my first WILD. After they stopped, I opened my eyes. My eye lids were very heavy as they sometimes are at the beginning. My room was almost pitch black. I did a nose plug RC to make sure I was dreaming, it worked flawlessly. I got out of bed and walked to my lightswitch and flicked it up. After a couple seconds, my light came on. Thats the first time a light actually worked in my dreams :p. I saw that I was in no clothing except boxers so I looked at the floor at a pair of my pajamas. I was about to put them on but I noticed alot of dust all of them which was weird, so I just stayed how I was. I looked out my window and it was absolutely beautiful out. The sun was rising and the sky was blue. All the trees had leaves that were very bright green as if I was on shrooms. I felt my wall and my computer chair to anchor myself in the dream but shortly after I had a false awakening.

I'm a little upset. I remembered this dream so well when I woke up, but I haven't had a chance to write about it, and large portions of it have slipped away. I'll tell you what I can remember.

The man from my "AI Theft" dream was back again, with another invention. This time, It was a shrink ray. He explained to me that it was only a prototype and not ready to be used on people. The shrink ray was a small, chrome pistol with a purple coil on the front of it.
He said that it could be used on foods though. We were in a large, concrete testing room. There were various vegetables and fruits on tables around the room. I specifically remember carrots, potatoes, and cabbages.
He began blasting them, and sure enough, they would become surrounded by this blue electrical field, and slowly grow (not shrink) to about twice their size.

The dream skipped into me and Manei (Dream Guide) going out to dinner at this restaurant. It was a really nice place, but very dark.
As usual, we talked for a very long time about deep, important things in our lives. But I cannot remember the details of our discussion.

We were back in the concrete testing room. The man who we had talked to before was upset because the shrink ray only had a temporary effect. He told me that all of the vegetables that he had shrunk had returned to their regular size.
I looked at a cabbage on one of the tables. It started shaking, then got surrounded by the blue electrical field, and shrank back to its normal size.

I woke up this morning for a WBTB since I had no work. I went back to sleep and tried to get in the right state of mind. As I was laying there noise started to come on all around me. I didn't notice at first since I was kind of in a dazed state. I was trying to keep my mind active by processing thoughts, but not really directing them, just letting them happen. The noises started getting louder and it sounded like my wife getting ready in the vanity in the corner of the room. She is supposed to be at work! She can't be so late! I tried to sit up, but I didn't have a body because I was about to enter a dream and was actually starting to hear it. I was too convinced that I needed to tell my wife she was going to be late to work I used my eye opening technique to wake myself. I do not know if that would count as a WILD since I didn't quite make it all the way to the dream. Either way! Progress!!

11.29.2012

The Lost Tribe (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Note: Before going to bed, I was reading Tears of the Desert.

I am living among a somewhat primitive tribe in unknown lands. One of the girls is dying of a horrible parasitic infection, and as per custom, her family is sitting in a tight circle around her, keeping her in a sitting position. The girl has large holes in various places on her body from which hundreds of disgusting white insects pour out. By being at such a close proximity, each of the family members risks infection. I watch as the girl slowly dies.

A guide is explaining to me that the family will continue their vigil for about five more minutes, after which time the girl's body will briefly re-animate in some kind of post-death movement that is the mere memory of life. Sure enough, the girl soon raises her head and opens her white, clouded over eyes. The family rises and takes this cue to bury her.

Later, I am talking to the deceased's mother, who is a friend of mine. She is barely able to contain her grief, and I cautiously give her a hug to try to comfort her, though the fear of infection is prevalent in my thoughts.

Some sort of evil deity is cursing the village. I hold council with him, hoping to persuade him to look upon us more favorably. He laughs at me and says that if I want to save my friends I'd better act quickly. I realize he has caused some catastrophe back in the village, so I run as fast as I can to find out what has happened. There, I find several of my friends trapped in a pool of grey liquid that looks similar to concrete. They are struggling to stay afloat-- if any of the liquid gets on or in their face for even a moment, it forms a tight layer over their skin and suffocates them. I do my best to pull them out of the liquid, but some of them slip from my grasp and die.

After all of the villagers are out of the pool, I have a talk with a girl who is like an older sister to me. I tell her which deity is to blame and we decide we MUST do something to stop him. He overhears and curses us both personally. He says he will be willing to leave the village alone if we find a way to stop him, but in order to do so we must reach a nearby city by sunset. If we do not accomplish this, I will be struck by lightning and my sister will suffer some similar horrible fate.

I floated up out of bed, and morphed into weretiger form.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3832[/ATTACH]
I sprouted wings, then formed my staff into one with a black raven and a white angel form at the top holding in their wings, The Moonstone with a tiny chaostar swirling in its core. A dark green silk robe with gold lining covered in magickal symbols woven with silver thread formed over my black fur with silver stripes. I turned and formed a mirror portal. I looked at my furry tiger face, and guffawed, 'HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH!" I grinned at my mad reflection, and roared, "I AM JUARGAWN!"
My lady, Winter, appeared next to me, a were-snow leopard, wearing Arctic ninja gear and skis on her back. She curled around me and licked my face. "Hmm... where are we going tonight, my darling?" she purred, and looked at our reflection.
"Oh my Goddess! We're kitty kats! You're a... night tiger, and I'm a snow leopard! Am I a ninja or something? I am confused."
"Hail Eris."
"Is this is a dream?"
"I don't know, why don't you play with your swords?"
"Hmm? Play with my swords?" said Winter, spinning her swords madly. "How am I doing this?"
"Magic. You can do anything in a dream. How else are we werecats, silly?"
"Cool!" She sheaths her swords and kisses me. "So, what's this?"
"It's a portal."
"What's on the other side?"
"The Moon."
/do you want to go/
/of course i do, Nyne/
/are we speaking telepathically/
/yes/
/lol/
/how did you do that/
/i call it a mental tickle/
/lol/
/lol/
"First, we need a spaceship to protect us from astral parasites as we fly through wormholes. It works on the basis of the sacred 9, or the 3 6 9 torus."
I call my silvery liquid spaceship, Future's Hope, and she appears through the portal. We are teleported to a hill, where she is perched. We climb aboard, and I funnel my portal energy into the ship, and she creates a portal with her nose, and we fly through to the Moon. We dock in the Biodome, New Eden, on the Green Moon.
There is a huge party in New Eden. There are five kinds of music stages all over the Biodome. I forget what the party's about, I am so overwhelmed by the flying magical fireworks, and the vivid intensity. I sit down and meditate. I focus on aligning and spinning my chakras, and especially my pineal gland. I ask Gawn to enlarge my pineal gland, and increase the DMT released at night to me in my physical plane body as I sleep. I see the face of Gawn, the Devil, my father-in-law, grinning at me in a vision, and he is laughing, amused, mocking, confused, angry, sorrow, mad, joyous.
Suddenly, Gawn, the Dream Warrior Master and I are in a great Black Void. There is nothing I can sense except he and I. He charges at me, multiplying as he rushes into a hundred, thousand, ten thousand great goat-hoofed Pans, twenty thousand HanuPans, racing toward me, a storm of gods screaming into my mind, until my soul shakes: GO-O-O-O LUCID!
I laugh and teleport behind him.
He touches me, and teleports us to a luscious jungle in what looks like South America. We are standing on a mountain.
"All this can be yours, Simba-Jesus, if you simply bow down to me."
"I will never bow to you, Father-In-Law! I will never bow to The Devil."
"I am the Devil, and the Devil is Gawn," sings Gawn, dancing on the cliff and laughing.
"Hail Satan!" I laugh. We sit on the edge of the cliff.
"Thanks for the madness, sir. I need more in my dream life."
"Exactly. You've feared the madness of the dream, even though Xaphor told you to embrace the madness of the dream, you did not. You're learning sacred fool. Maybe one day you'll be a magician, if you can figure out how to get one from zero. Will 'tis be the greatest Leap of your Lyfe."
"Hmm..."
Gawn fades away.
I am lying on a bed somewhere... in a cottage. I sit up. Winter is watching me. Raven walks in the room. "You fainted, Nomad. So, I brought you here, to my Inner World." I smile and stand up. I feel dizzy. Winter touches my elbow. I sit down.
"Raven, how can I feel dizzy in a dream?"
"I don't know, friend. Maybe we are physically incarnate?"
I look at my hands. Tiger hands. I pinch my nose. Can't breathe.
Hmm... I look at the cute wooden bed. I see tiny marks of wear and tear, and even weathering. Everything looks so... real. I am overwhelmed, and I fall back on the bed.
I go to some strange Energy Realm, where everything is simple colors, glowing colors, but everything is simultaneously hyper-evolved... I see Raven and Winter with me. I tell them I want to go to the Temple of Chaos. We are suddenly on a remote island with high sea cliffs in the middle of the Mediterranean.
Spiraling steps lead us to a strange white temple, which seems to be pulsing. I run up the steps, overcome by a mad lust for the void. In the temple, a great Chaostar swirls and pulses as it floats above a pedestal. Eris appears next to me, and whispers in my ear, "Seek me not in the Temple of Chaos, lover, seek me Everywhere, for I am All. So, actually, you can totally seek me in the Temple of Chaos." Then, she kissed me on the cheek, and I felt the universe implode. I was back in Raven's Inner World. I sat up. What a cute little cottage! I stretch and stand up. Raven and Winter smile at me. I walk outside and look around. There is a lovely garden growing all kinds of things, half of them chocolate. I pick a chocolate cake fruit. It tastes amazing. I feel more aware of my dream life. We are on a plateau on on a gently rising mountain, and the sun is rising over a tropical and evergreen landscape. Wow.
"Your Inner World, is beautiful, Raven," I whisper. "Thanks for letting me rest here."
"You're welcome," she said, and hugged me.
We were back on the Moon, and I was sitting on a pile of cushions in a tent with a large hooka in the middle.
"What did I just smoke, man?" I turned to the man to my left, "Hunter S. Thompson?"
"Just call me, The Doc. And you smoked DMT. In a muthafukkin' dream, dog." mahalo

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23.11.12
So I was reading one of those cheap magazines that have those really grim 'real life stories' in them. As I was flicking through one caught my eye, it was called something along the lines of 'My trapped with a ghost for two days nightmare". As I read the article it started to play out, like I was an invisible observer in typical dreaming style. What happened was this lady was part of this group that talked about and investigated things about ghosts. She had a special room dedicated to contacting spirits. Anyway, so one evening she brought back this guy she'd got to know at the group who she quite liked, he was European, had short black hair, pretty skinny. So they went to the room, but she popped out to go to the toilet before they began. When she got back she was horrified to find the guy hanging from the ceiling dead covered in blood. She was too frightened to leave and the lights went off so she sat cross legged in the dark. She felt a ghost reach for her hand and held it, in the article there was a quote saying "this wasn't unusual, as i'd spent a night holding a ghost's hand before, but there was something not quite right about this". After two nights she overcame her terror (slightly) and let go. But the hand in an aggressive manner stuck his finger up at her. He then appeared with a distorted demon, fanged face and had sex with her, she was pretty scared but somehow it wasn't rape. A while after she couldn't take it anymore and ran out to get help shouting at police "there's a demon voldermort thing in my house". So they went to investigate and found that the guy had faked his own death and was scaring this woman deliberately and it turned out it was a sick hobby of his as when they looked into some records he's done it before but never got caught. He was sentenced to some time behind bars, which I suppose is a sort of happy ending. Bit grim though.

Privacy

I'm walking to a party in my dorm. There are these two girls following me; first-years, I think. They seem kind of giggly, possibly drunk. I'm not sure what they're up to, and I don't think I want to find out. I speed up my steps to get to the party before they can catch up to me.

I stay at the party for a while, then leave. I'm only a few steps down the hallway when one of the girls follows me out. Just one, this time. I'm not able to find a group of people in which to hide, so she catches up to me. She proposes that we have sex. [I don't remember the exact wording, but that's the gist of it: she's in the mood to have fun, somehow I caught her eye, and she thinks we should do it.] Immediately, I feel that I should escape. She doesn't really seem in control of herself, she's probably at least two years younger than me, and I really don't want my first time to be under these circumstances. I go into a different room, but she follows me, still talking.

"How drunk /are/ you?" I ask. In response, she proposes a race: first person to touch the ceiling of the room wins, then we can have sex afterwards. While I'm contemplating whether to do the race just to humor her, she starts climbing. The room is a big warehouse, with shelves and piles of foam cubes of various sizes. It would be a difficult thing to climb, but it might be fun. After hesitating another fraction of a second, I start up after her. She has a huge head start. I'll have to go fast to catch up, but she's drunk enough that I might still win. Quickly, I clamber over piles of cubes and stumble around on top. She's up ahead of me. She hasn't reached the highest point yet, but for some reason she's stopped, and she's trying to jump to touch the ceiling instead of climbing higher. I run past her and touch the ceiling an instant before one of her jumps finally succeeds. I'm dumbfounded for a second about how well that played out. It was almost cinematic.

"Wow, that was close," I say.

By now, I've decided that I should stop being so phobic about sex. I should just accept her offer so I can stop making such a big deal out of it in the future. So now I have to find a comfortable, private place for us. The first place we try is an outdoor swimming pool. I wade around for a bit while she runs off to do something or other. I'm not wearing a shirt anymore. When she comes back, she walks right up to me with a grin and starts feeling my torso. This girl is nothing if not forward. I'm reluctant to let her find out that I've gone hard, but it might be interesting to see how she'd react. Probably she'd start groping me. But somehow this pool is unsatisfactory (for one thing, there's a poolside restaurant with big windows that look right out at us), so we leave.

We go into a nearby museum. It's basically empty. There are a few security staff members around, locking things up for the night. We avoid them and go to a higher floor. But then a man sees me and says, "Sir, we're closing for the night." I have no choice but to turn around and leave, but in the spirit of exploration I decide to leave a different way than the way I came in: the fire escape. Hopefully the guard will understand. As I'm leaving, he remarks incredulously, "Wow, you're comfortable from the waist up!" By which he means that I'm again not wearing a shirt. I'd forgotten. Somehow I laugh it off and walk down the iron staircase to the sidewalk.

As I'm walking down the night-darkened streets, suddenly there is a violent male scream and my head starts vibrating as though caught in the jaws of an angry dog. After a second of this, I wake up with my heart racing.

[Similar things happened on 8/22 and 9/14 of this year. I'm not sure what to think about them, yet. Maybe I have some kind of condition?]

Frags:

• something about relatives [I know I woke up earlier last night right after a dream, but I decided not to write it down or try to remember it. I guess I was tired.]

Last night was my first night without being high at all for quite some time, and this is officially my day one of no smoking. I've read that cognitive deficits from weed should disappear within about seven days of the last usage regardless of how long or how many times it was used, so hopefully within a week I should start seeing some good improvement to my recall and vividness.

I was stressed out as I went to bed last night and so I wasn't expecting my dreams to be anything spectacular, but as it turned out I didn't really get anything at all. I had one of those insomniac nights where you just roll around in bed working through (usually stressed) thoughts that make perfect sense at the time but are hard to recall when you fully wake up, and you feel like you kind of slept even though you can recall just tossing and turning in bed all night. I used to have them quite frequently, so it's no surprise that one would happen as soon as I stop smoking. This is actually an interesting subject to me though, as I've read before that those times are actually NREM dreams where you just feel like you're still awake but really your low-functioning consciousness is just sort of delirious and feeling overexerted.

I've been looking into the differences between REM and NREM lately and found that one of the big things is that acetylcholine levels are very high during REM but very low during NREM. That makes me think about hallucinogens, particularly dissociatives (NMDA receptor antagonists) and deliriants (muscarinic acetylcholine receptor antagonists). They both have core effects centered around lowering of acetylcholine activity, and they both have a curious side effect of being able to cause you to see your environment through closed eyes. They also, especially deliriants, both inhibit your ability to think rationally to a degree (or completely, depending on the dose). I have to wonder if there's a link between the two? Could it be that these NREM insomnia dreams are actually just the same low acetylcholine levels causing us to see a projection of our rooms (or wherever we're sleeping) behind our closed eyes as we roll around in our sleep and think poorly-formed thoughts?

It's hard to say for sure because I don't know exactly what part of the brain is responsible for that effect, I just find it interesting to think about. I guess that's about all I have to say for this entry.