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very busy, haven't been able to sleep much - ruining my dream recall. some fragments tonight:

1. i was in a distorted version of downtown (bright colours, very sunny) with my boyfriend who now had massive dreadlocks cascading from the back of his head. i found that very unattractive but i decided that he is my boyfriend, so i should deal with it. we entered an empty furniture store. it was hexagonal with large windows on every side; the carpet and most of the chairs were green. we sat down on a couch. we wanted to kiss but we were afraid people would see us through the windows, so we just cuddled a little. suddenly the room started tilting from side to side. we heard the store owner coming in and we ran away -- but he was actually glad that we visited his store and he gave us smoothies.

2. i am with friends (the only one i recognize from real life is M-----) in a huge department store. we are wandering around and i was stealing things. i recall spotting a stick of men's deodorant that was selling for 80 dollars, so i decided to go to the women's department and steal a similar product. i never found the womens department but i stole some books.

then it is night and we are downtown. we want to go to a bar (i don't drink irl) but the only way to enter is through a third-story window. my mother is wearing a red shirt and lying motionless on the sidewalk a few yards away; her body seems shrunken. we pay little attention to this. i try climbing up the building's many roofs (roof-awnings? what's the architectural term for those) - dead ivy vines cover the building - but i can't make it to the top floor. at one point my mom gets up -- she's acting normally, wants to join us.

3. i am at a public indoor pool with a lot of other people. there is a young girl in a wheelchair there and a fat middle-aged woman is saying rude things about her. i tell the woman off and people applaud me.

4. i am reading a website about a spa. the company is from quebec and much of the website is written in french. i don't recall what the text said now but i remember that upon waking i remarked at the fact that it was sensical and grammatically correct -- strange because text in my dreams usually makes little sense in terms of content or syntax -- especially strange because french is my second language!

one part mentions that they have special tools for relaxation or something to that effect. the text is a link, so i click on it. it brings me to a page that displays various styles of bongs (they're all blue and silver and quite elegantly designed). there are also prices for "asian massages" for women and men. the prices are all in the 1-2k range. so i come to the realization that this is a brothel where you can smoke weed.

i decide to visit.

the spa is an outdoor pool. it is very sunny and bright outside. the geometry in this scene is odd - i think i'm floating above the water or something. a girl arrives, but no sex acts transpire, at least that i can remember. i wake up.

--------
quick analysis:
i've had many similar dreams about department stores. my dream-stores are always massive, labyrinthian, with blank white walls and floors and an eclectic assortment of items.

the image of my mother lying on the ground probably comes from the time i saw a hipster girl lying face-down on the sidewalk in toronto (with her ukulele of course). she wasn't drunk or sick or anything, i think she was trying to be artistic or protest something, but it was just silly. the police made her get up. there's also another dimension to this image i think - my mother was an alcoholic while i was growing up and to this day i have a strong aversion to being around any drunk people... especially her.

almost all the dreams i've catalogued so far have had something to do with sex. generally, dreams with sexual themes are very rare for me. i haven't had any changes in my real life that could trigger this... maybe my subconscious is just trying to embarrass me.

took:
- no 5-HTP before going to sleep
- 0 dose galantamine + choline
- no Piracetam when I got up
lucid dreaming: 0 lucid experiences
note:
- did a standard WBTB with a MILD to get back to sleep but felt like the sleep was so heavy. Based on the charts lately seems like I'm running a slight sleep deficiet which is catching up with me.

I had so many dreams that they're all jumbled up in my head. I feel like I'm forgetting something important about an ancient temple and a quest I had to go on....

03.22.2013

A "Wild" Roll (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I wake up breifly because my roommate is up doing homework. I roll from my side to my back (my eyes are forced closed because of the sleep mask I'm wearing.) I'm wondering how much time I have left to sleep, when I realize that I'm suddenly caught up in Sleep Paralysis.

"This will be the first WILD I've had in ages," I think to myself. I ignore the almost painful vibrations tearing through my head and focus on trying to roll off the side of the bed. After a few moments, I accomplish this. My roommate is staring at me in concern. "Did you just fall out of the bed?" she asks.

"Don't worry about that," I say happily, doing a reality check just to be sure. "I've got tons of stuff to do and not much time to do it." Without answering her questions, I run out of the room.

I am expecting to see the hallway, so it surprises me when I'm suddenly in my Grandma's house. Doesn't really matter where I am, I decide, just as long as I get... whatever it is I'm supposed to do, done. What am I supposed to do again?

I notice that it's dark outside, and I figure that I'll be able to think more clearly if it's lighter.

Before I can even attempt any of this, I wake up again. I lie motionless and try to turn it into a DEILD. I am successful, but I remember absolutely nothing about the following dream, other than it was lighter than the first.

03.22.2013

Too Many Fleas (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am sitting in my old back yard when I notice that my cat (who is supposed to be living with my friend now) is accross the yard. She comes running when I call to her. I am kind of irritated that my friend would just let her wander off like this, when she is supposed to stay inside.

I pet her and THOUSANDS of fleas begin leaping around through her fur. I am alarmed and disgusted. "Don't worry, I'm going to fix this," I tell her.

My mom refuses to let her in the house, but she tells me where I can buy some good flea medicine for "only" $50. I look out the window and see Sadie playing with two of my cat's who have been dead for years. I think that my old cats will look after her and she'll be safe.

03.22.2013

Mighty Yell (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am in my closet, looking for something specific. In the background, I can hear my mom calling me. "What is it?" I call out. She just calls my name again. This repeats several times, much to my irritation. Why does she insist on yelling to me from another room if she can't hear my response. I shout "WHAT!?" so loud that I end up screaming it in real life. My roommate is looking at me like I'm insane.

Dream recall from non-lucid nap.

I recall being in some sort of open area, then later i was underwater inside some ruined ship with some people, there was air bubble around it. I was relaxing on some piece of furniture while others were searching for something, then we have found some ghosts, but nothing that we were searching for so we went outside. There was some kind of huge bottle, one of people who were with me got inside it and fell asleep.
Later i was back at home, i was thinking that i returned from four dreams and that i saw similar dreams earlier, i was checking through this dream journal and found them, but before i could write new ones i was distracted by food, there were some spiral clams or something, after that i was super sleepy so i fell asleep.
I was somewhere else and i was talking to some person that i nicknamed 'mystery man' for some reason, we were talking about those four dreams that i was thinking about earlier and then he said that i should pass some kind of test.
I was teleported into different room, i was on some table and i could not move. Some kind of dark green partly living partly robotic thing was mounted on my head, it had an eye that was staring at me, also there was other dark green creature walking around that was preparing for something. I was as calm as ever and was trying to do staring contest with that eye thing. Then other creature came closer and looked through the other thing at me, there was loud noise and vision got super distorted.
I woke up back home, i was super dizzy and family was asking me about something. Then i woke up again, again super dizzy and then i woke up properly.

One of my first long lucid dreams. I had this dream where I was on a street in a big city, mabyee New York, when someone started chasing me. As I was running the person came closer and closer no matter how fast I ran. In a last resort effort I ran down an ally and climbed up a wall as if I was Spider-Man. When I got to the top of the building I realized I had climbed up a skyscraper without using anything. I still hadn't realized that I was in a dream but I was puzzled. I began trying to explain to myself how I just did that. Then I tried to jump in the air. And I jumped probably 10 times higher than I ever had before and when I landed on the roof it did not hurt my legs. It seamed to me that the gravity of earth had been greatly reduced. "OMG"! "This can't be real", I said to myself. "I should not be able to do this". Then I decided to try to jump to the next building over, (kind of like Morpheus in the movie the matrix) and I landed with ease. I began to jump for joy, each time jumping higher and higher. "I must have been abducted by aliens" I thought to myself. "We'll if that's the case F these aliens" I said and jumped off this building and when I hit the ground I felt no pain. It was strange that I was in a huge city in the middle of the day and there was no one around. I began to run and run and run. I was getting faster and faster then I would run on the walls of the building sideways. Then jump on tops of cars crushing them on impact. Everything was so real. I saw everything in color. I could feel the wind on my face and I could here the crushing of the cars. Then it hit me, "I must be dreaming"! I started thinking, "if this is a dream then I should be able to do anything". So I concentrated on trying to levitate a car with my mind and sure enough it worked. I then crushed it into a ball just by thinking about it. "We'll let's try flying", I said to myself and sure enough I was flying around this city. After landing I realized how I had no limits and did not want to wake up. Then I suddenly woke up.

Location: dads home

Bedtime: 01:45
Final wakeup: 07:58

Notes before bed: Dreamviews.


Jealous and suspicious me (dream)
My gf had gotten a new phone, an Xperia V.
Me, my friend Mattias and my gf were at my gf's apartment, in her room.
My gf was sending text messages to a guy (Adam or so) all the time. She said that she were going to sleep over at his place.
I started to get moody about it and didn't think there were a good idea to sleep over at his place. Both me and my friend thought it sounded strange that my gf sleeps over at another guys house, sounded not right and suspect.
But my gf said it's normal.
We got kind of mad on eachother and she left the room.

Later we were at my old highschool (7-9th grade). We were near the woodwork room. My gf were going to a lesson or meeting, and as she had walked away, I noticed on the bench that she had forgotten her phone.
I sneaked to it and picked it up, walked to the woodwork room to hide in case she walks back. I go to the conversation of the guy who she been texting all morning, and went on top to start there. I read the text that she had read up or me some days earlier, just some normal text.
I continued to read on. I walked out from the woodwork room and walked to some other place, while walking I tried to read the text messages.
Didn't find any sign on that they're in love with eachother or so, but then I hadn't read enough much to get down to the place where he had suggested her to come over to him and sleep.



C-S 1.6 again (fragment)
I was in the game counter-strike 1.6 once again, it was the map surf_ski, or well, a familiar map to it. Either I had cheats or it was a mod, cus I could use the mods like morph etc, I simply ran faster, could get any weapon etc.


Bought youtube views (dream)
I was in my room at my dads house. It was evening and I had just bought youtube views and on my bed it was a counter on the video I had ordered views to. It was around 5000 views I had ordered.
The views was showing on my bed and it changed very fast from just a few views up to a couple of houndreds or maybe it was thousands views.




----------------------------
Okey. The first dream. My gf got her phone (Xperia s) back from the repairing service yesterday and she had wrote on Facebook she needs people calling and texting her as she got no numbers left.
That must have triggered the things about the phone. But that I suspected her and that she were gonna sleep over at a guys place? no idea where it comes from.


The fragment, was maybe triggered when I yesterday watched a few C-S stickman videos on YouTube, and I told my friend that I felt like playing the game again just a little bit, because I haven't played it for over years or so. Now at morning, I don't feel like playing it at all though.


The dream about youtube views. I see why it came up. Because before I went to bed, I had uploaded another video. And previous time I tested buy Youtube views, got very overdelivered, with over houndred thousands views (well unless they all were real though lol). And well, I just thought why not try it again and see if they can give a large amount still. It's great and cheap for advertising. I used it on the video I edited yesterday. So a 30k+ views it´s supposed to get.

This dream was about a dreamviews thread on what are the odds this is a dream! Completely non-lucid and no sense of self - I was "reading" not participating.

Here is a fragment of my dream thread - there actually were user names but I forgot which:

...
[user1] This is not a dream, not weird enough.
[user2] Ah but we are not aware of all that is going on - not remembering all. If we backfill for all missing data points, then there is so much weirdness, that chances are high this is a dream!
....

First of all, a dream in which a DC says/writes that chances are high that it is a dream, that's beautiful! Now, why couldn't I also have some self-awareness to allow me to make the small leap from that to lucidity?

I know which thread triggered this! Gab yesterday wrote something like "let's face it our waking life is not weird enough, so we may need to pretend that it is" and I responded that I disagree that in my opinion life is plenty of weird, we just don't stop to question it most of the time, and don't notice how weird it is. In my dream the conversation was not between gab and JoannaB but it might as well have been. Fascinating, the only time I have successfully had an LD thus far after returning to this hobby was also triggered by DV interaction with gab. I think I will ask gab whether she would be willing to be my mentor or something, since obviously my dream self has a strong correlation between gab and lucidity or almost lucidity! Gab is my LD muse! Here is a link to the thread: http://www.dreamviews.com/general-lu...correctly.html (gab's post is #17 and my response is #18, and this is definitely what this dream is based on!)

Another element of this dream, the backfilling for missing data to get adjusted statistics which may change the whole picture of what the data shows - this was triggered by a work problem I was working on this week! It's neat to see where such ideas in my dreams originated from in real life.

I'm in a really loud dressing room. People are running around. It's madness. Men and women are getting me dressed, fixing my hair and doing my make up. They push me to the runway. I can see through the curtain. There are hundreds of people watching the show. Before I walk out, a woman looks me over one last time. I get the ok and now I'm walking. I smile and look at everyone. I know that after this they will all regret hurting me. I am a model. They get to watch me. I make it to the end of the runway and twirl to show off my dress. I then start walking back, smiling the whole way. Before I go behind the curtain again, I twirl one more time and wave to the crowd. I am happy.

I'm walking in Grandma's back yard. It's bigger and looks like a forest. Scott McCall is standing next to me. We start walking for a bit. He stops, grabs my arm and turns me around to face him. He says that we should split up so that we won't get caught. I agree and we go in different directions. I walk for a few minutes and come across a trailer. The door to the trailer opens and Chris Colfer walks out. He smiles at me and we hug. We go inside. I sit on an old sofa and he begins to pace in front of me. He starts crying and picks up a picture frame. I get up from the sofa and look at it. It's a picture of him as a kid and an old woman. I take the picture and set it down. I pull him into my arms and he cries while holding on to me tightly. I close my eyes and when I open them again, I'm back outside in front of a large shed. I open it and it's full of toys. I notice that there is a small path through the toys leading to the back of the shed. I start to walk towards the path but I stop. I see a huge bed in the back. On the bed I see a woman. She is older, but I can't tell how old. Her hair is a vibrant red. I'm not sure if she is asleep or dead. I stare at her.

The only thing I remember about this morning's dreams was something about recordings, mom and dad, and a town or something/a game??

Yesterday's dreams...

Dream 1:

- I was talking/arguing to dad about religion, specifically about how Paganism was infused in everything.
- Dad and someone else were going to ride on an oven pan (lol wat), but I needed it and was hoping they'd be done with it soon. I wondered how they'd fit on it, but I got an image in my head showing that they could fit a foot side by side.
- I was walking in the woods when I stumble across a group of bears huddled together. I freeze and drop down into a pile of leaves and stuff, but they've already noticed me. I remember that I should keep totally still.
- I'm cuddling up with the bears and they're talking to me, totally harmless.

Dream 2: I'm floating from sandbar to sandbar on a beach and collecting lost items from old campers. I'm a bit scared and sad as I think about what might have happened to the people who lost them. What the water's depths might be hiding. [I still remember that feeling, looking down into the deep water.]

When I reach the end, I step over and into a house with the stuff. The cats are sleeping in a cat bed or something down the hall and I get really worried about them getting outside and lost, so I make sure the door is really secure.

(I've lost some of the details since I didn't type this up sooner or try and remember them better.)

I'm walking down a long, white hall way. It reminds me of a hospital. At the end of the hall is a huge room that looks like an office space. It's filled with desks and papers and people. I see Stiles. He's running frantically around the room and talking to people. I leave the room and go into a diner-like room. It's not too crowded, which makes me happy. I walk up to a long table and Rem (my cat) is sitting on it, watching me. I start petting him and he purrs and relaxes. I look away from Rem and the whole room is staring at me in shock. I know that no one else but me could touch Rem. I feel proud. I decide that I'm hungry and get into the food line. There is an order window and I look at the menu hanging above it. I really want a burger and fries. I get seriously annoyed when they tell me that they don't have cheese. A boy walks up to me and starts apologizing. He says that he's sorry and that he'll be happy to help me in any way he can. I say okay and he gets in line behind me. When I'm about to order, Stiles gets in front of me. He tells me that he's scared and he wants to go home. I smile and tell him that everything is okay. He smiles back and turns toward the window to order. I grab his hand and we both relax.

Stiles Stilinski and I are walking fast out of an apartment complex. He's holding my hand and we hurry to the parking lot. We walk up to a light blue, 50's-looking car. The doors are open and it looks like it was broken into. Stiles tells me to get in and I do. He starts the car and we speed away. We end up in my old house on Almond Drive, but the inside is my Uncle's house. My dad is there. I walk up to him and punch him really hard in the face. I then leave the house and start running down the street. Someone, a man, is chasing me. I can't see his face and he's right behind me. I finally stop and fall to the ground in front of a group of people. I recognize some of them. I turn around and the man is right in my face. I close my eyes. When I open them again a few seconds later, Stiles and I are in the Almond Drive house kitchen, staring at a fish tank. We are watching a beautiful white cat with blue eyes. He's swimming and looking at us. I know that the cat is still too young. But as soon as he is old enough, I will take him from the tank and keep him. Stiles agrees. And then we are back at the apartment complex. We are leaving in a hurry again. Stiles is holding my hand tighter and we are walking faster. I look behind me and there is a woman staring at us from a balcony. It makes me horribly uneasy. Stiles notices her too and hurriedly pulls me into the same old car. We speed away.

A couple of nights ago I was having a dream when I noticed that little sparks of eletricity were coming out of my index fingers and thumbs. It startled me at first then I realized this does not seem possible. So I challenged the physics. I tested to see if I could fly. Sure enough as soon as I concentrated on levitating I began to float. I knew from that little test that I must be having a dream. Once I realized it was a dream I decided to visit some friends and "show off" my incredible super powers. I flying to a friends house when I remembered I was having a dream and I did not need to fly to get there. So in an instant I teleported to his house. I unlocked his door using telekinesis. He asked how I got in his house and I said "I have to show you the coolest thing in the world". I then began to show him all these incredible powers. I began by moving the chairs around with my thoughts and heating up food just by thinking it, but he doubted my powers and said it was a trick. So I pointed to his pool and began to make the water come out of the pool and take many different shapes. He was amazed. Then for some reason I flew at the speed of thought to an old mentors house. I told him I wanted to show him something that would violate the laws of physics and everything he thought possible. I then threw thousands of pea sized lead balls in the grass. "Watch carefully" I said. Then I touched the ground and all the little lead balls floated about 7 ft in the air. He had a confused look on his face, then I began to move the small balls around and around just by thinking about it. "All I have to do is think about it and it can happen!" I exclaimed. Just then I noticed a sound. I knew exactly what it was. My father had just left the house where I was dreaming and for about 2 or 3 seconds I realized that this "super hero" dream was about to end. And sure enough I consciously came out of my dream state and woke up.

I'm running down a street with someone. It's a street that I know. I can't see the persons face. We slow down and are walking together, keeping very close. I am constantly looking around me. A black SUV drives past us and then slows down. I instantly get a bad feeling and grab the person's hand. We start running. We cut across yards and jump over fences until we are lost. I see a closed off, square place with a little opening. I pull the person inside with me. The walls around us are concrete and no one can see us. I sit in a corner, away from the opening, with my legs spread open. I pull the person down in between my legs, their back against my chest and my arms tightly around their waist. My chin rests on their shoulder and the person relaxes into me. We wait for a while in silence. A black dog then walks into the small space and looks at us. He comes close and starts licking our faces. I pet the dog.

I'm walking around my old middle school campus. It's dark and lightly raining. My little sister is at my side and we are walking quickly to the portable classrooms. Someone catches our attention and we decide to follow them. They go into the girl's bathroom. The Bathroom is brightly lit, a bit unnaturally it seems. Even so I am still unable to see the person's face. From the figure, I hear a male voice. He says that what we seek is right across from the bathroom entrance. Immediately, I leave the bathroom and walk to a well lit portable. I go inside. It is large and square. Except for the entrance wall, the other walls are lined with clothes racks. I turn around and notice that my sister is no longer with me. I know that someone bad is coming close, so I go into the racks and hide between the clothes. A Japanese school girl that resembles Sailor Moon, runs into the room. I know she is looking for me and I'm afraid. She runs around the racks and then runs outside. I feel safe with her gone and I know that she can't see me. I get up and step out of the clothing racks. On one of the racks I spot a small, black jean jacket. It's old, faded and covered with little gold studs. While I'm looking at it, my sister appears in the doorway and tells me to hurry. We have to go fast. I look at my sister and then back at the jacket. I have to take it with me. It feels really important. I take the jacket off of it's hanger and my sister and I walk out of the classroom. Suddenly I'm in a department store. I feel relaxed and I'm looking around for something. I walk up to a mirror and stop to look at my face. I am Stiles Stilinski. A hand touches my shoulder, so I turn around. Scott McCall and my sister are looking at me. Derek Hale's hand rests on my shoulder. They are all looking at the jacket now. I lift it up a bit and show them. Derek looks at me again and tells me that it's too small. I already know. I hug the jacket close and walk around the store with it. Scott, Derek and my sister follow me around. I say, "It is sad." I tell them that she is too big. She is too big and now she can't wear the jacket. I stop walking and look at the jacket. I try to put it on but it disappears. I turn to Derek and he has a small smile on his face. He says, "Come on, Stiles". He takes my hand and leads me to a pyramid of candy. I stare at it and Derek walks away. I dig through my pockets but I have no money. I feel a bit upset, but I grab something anyway and walk to a register. Derek is already there and in his hands is a small, white and rectangular box. It says "orange" on it, I think. I move closer to get a better look. He sees me trying to get a better look and quickly hides it behind his back, smirking all the while. I laugh and step closer to him. He grabs my hand.