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Location: Home

Bedtime: 01:45
First wakeup: 07:48
Second wakeup: 09:00 (alarm)
Final wakeup: 09:59

Notes before bed: I will meet my dream guide tonight.

Work out request call (fragment)
I was at my gf's apartment. My friend called and said he isn't in Luleå but he asked if we're going to work out in the evening/night.

very interesting dream phenomena tonight. slept from about 12 pm to 9:30 am and had normal dreams, was awake for about half an hour, and fell back asleep from 10 - 11 am which is when the interesting stuff started...

midnight - 9:30 am

i was looking at clothes in a large department store. i wanted to buy a dress. the dresses i wanted (one black dress and one light blue dress with dark turquoise polka dots) were in the children's section, but i figured i could fit into them anyway since i'm petite.

the next dream began in my grade 9 drama classroom. i was talking to an attractive girl with long black hair and pale skin. i believe her name was nadia and i understood that she was russian. i felt intense feelings of love and tenderness for her. there was a bed in the classroom, and we wanted to sleep together, but we were afraid other people would see and judge us. at some point the classroom morphed into a bedroom. i remember nothing else.

10-11 am

hypnagogia

after a short period of wakefulness i lay back down in bed and shifted into a half-aware state. i was still environmentally oriented - i opened my eyes a few times to see my bedroom as it normally is - but i was experiencing the involuntary associative thought that accompanies the hypnagogic state. generally i enter directly into sleep shortly after experiencing this "hypnagogic thought" but in this case it was not so. i began to have what i now realize were auditory hallucinations. at first i believed i was listening to a podcast on my laptop, which i often do before falling asleep. the audio was very distinct and i could identify the different people's voices although i was not able to make out the content of their speech (it was a little quiet.) then music began to play: specifically, the songs neutral milk hotel - oh comely and the gerbils - glue. i remember being puzzled about how these songs were playing without me interacting w/ the laptop but i believed they were not hallucinations because the audio was so clear and the songs were so perfectly reproduced -- and after all, i was not dreaming!

i am able to tell that this was a hypnagogic state and not a dream of being in bed because at one point my roommate knocked on my door to tell me that she was leaving for school -- this occured at the appropriate time (around quarter after ten) & i responded appropriately. during the time that the hallucinatory music was playing i decided i should try to get to sleep and so i used some basic relaxation techniques (relaxing the body from the toes to the head).

dreams

the relaxation technique fades into a dream wherein i am sliding down the stairs to the basement of the old townhouse. i repeat this a few times. i am aware that this is a dream and i believe that sliding down the stairs will metaphorically allow me to 'slide' deeper into the dream state as well as 'lower' me into a state of sexual disinhibition. it seems to do both.

i enter into a dream where... well, in the interests of full disclosure, i am an underage (~12-13 y/o) girl partaking in various sex acts with a nondescript college-age boy. the perspective is quite interesting here: i am watching the dream unfold in third person, but i am experiencing the sensations that my dream-self would experience in the depicted situation. i am able to control the dream by willing certain situations to happen.

my dream-self has red hair with bangs and pigtails and green eyes. her outfit changes many times over the course of the dream. the male character has short black hair and glasses; he is tall and thin. the dream varies between realism and an anime-esque style (i very rarely dream in a non-realistic style; i can probably count the number of such dreams i've had on one hand.)

this dream is divided into multiple different scenes. each scene begins with me meeting the boy in his college classroom (large and crowded, with metal walls; he sat near the door) at the end of class. we have to be discreet, as i am underage. after we leave the classroom, the sexual activities ensue. a full description of everything that transpired in this dream would be frankly pornographic, and i have no need to write it all down here as i'll be able to remember it without epistolary assistance. what's important about these scenes is that the sexual sensations i experienced in the dream are far, far more intense than anything i have ever experienced in waking life. i attribute this to a release phenomenon engendered by the downregulation of activity in certain brain structures during REM sleep which causes disinhibition and consequent overexcitation in various other areas; there could also be a psychological component to it. nonetheless it never fails to amaze me when i experience it.

after many "scenes" the sexual dream ends, along with the lucidity. i find myself in a washroom stall, and there is a copy of a manga that contains illustrations of the previous dream on the floor. i am afraid that other people using the washroom will see it on the floor and think i am perverted. i try to find somewhere to hide it but i cannot. later i am wandering through a dark maze of strangely-proportioned washroom stalls, trying to find a normal one: i understand that they are all weirdly shaped because i am in germany.

at some point i find myself atop a large warp pipe from the mario series. i am in the middle of a great sea and i can see a small island close to me. the colours here are somewhat muted/desaturated but still quite pleasing to the eye. i go to the island, which is very small and covered in yellow-brown dead grass; there is a quaint stone hut with a thatched roof here, where there lives a young woman with long blonde hair and a weathered but beautiful face. she wears a simple cotton gown. i gather blackberries and other fruits with her in front of the hut; i understand from the local flora that i am in scandinavia. i also understand that i am inside of the video game animal crossing.

my perspective later becomes detached -- moreso playing a video game than being inside of it. it gets dark and the sea becomes stormy. i understand that the woman is the "lifeguard" of the sea and i decide to drown her as an ironic joke. i pick her up through the game's interface and drop her in the sea, but she will not drown. i do not remember anything else.

----

a lot to analyze here, but i'm far too lazy. it was a pleasant experience nonetheless.

Dream 1(fragment):

I recall helping someone with lucid dreaming, again.

Dream 2(fragment):

I was doing something on my PC then i was distracted by some important business. After i've done it there was some lego stuff and then there was a movie. At the end of the movie main hero with pistol was threatening to kill some corrupted politician dude unless that dude goes to live in the jungle.

Before bed: exhausting cooking and late staying guests

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream recall method: two keywords noted

Fragment1: I was in a building in one of the rooms there was an improvised fitness center. I was considering whether to enroll but it was somewhat expensive, 11 per session. I think I agreed to give it a try and started doing some exercises. I really enjoyed moving around.

Fragment2[important feeling] Somewhere on the way between grandma's place and our old home. I am looking at the the cars passing by. Next to me is my dad, who has a strangely honest moment. He is sharing the contents of his heart, his innermost dreams. He tells me that he craves to one day get to an astonishing knowledge, this knowledge would be completely true and valid, yet so totally different from anything we know, unimaginable knowledge. I compare it then to the knowledge a more advanced civilization would give us.

woke up, decided to try some WBTB, but was asleep too fast, had two pretty vivid dreams though, one very close to lucid

Dream3 [very vivid]: I was at my parents's yard, it was dark. My mom was there, a large white rabbit came to us. We were trying to interact with it, but it was a bit stubborn, reminded me of a rabbit I had for a while when I was very young. My mom was forcefully grabbing it, surely causing it some pain, and it ran away. I felt bad for the rabbit and tried to call it back. It came back to me, and kind of like pressed itself strongly against me, seeking comfort.

Dream4[very vivid, lucid-like]: I just remember finding myself staring at some kind of a yard, where there was a workshop. It felt as if I am lucid, and I had a moment of deep realization of something, I just suddenly understood it, everything (regarding something) made perfect sense to me. As I was watching the yard, I remembered my great grandpa's wood processing workshop, remembering some past memories that belong to me with great clarity and understanding. I noticed the little pieces of saw dust on the table of the workshop. [those memories felt very real, more than usual fake dream memories, yet my great grandpa had been a tailor, never met him]

Fragment5: I was in a bus with my grandma2, she got off the bus, but left her bag and eye glasses on the seat. I rushed to gather all her things before the driver closes the door. I told him to wait for me to get off but he said he can't wait, I grabbed everything and jump rushed out of the bus door.

--------------
Some ideas to try out:
I am still trying to find the optimal amount of awake time for WBTB. I have noticed that during meditation if I do it eyes closed, on some occasions I would drift away too much towards sleep, getting lots of the WILD sensations, HH, sometimes vibrations, and I catch myself falling asleep, feeling my dream body take off/separating. So perhaps instead of WBTB, wake up earlier than usual have a tea, meditate on couch, then lay down to lucid? At least worth a try when nobody is around.

I am fucking a girl named Mona.. In the dream she is my neighbor at my childhood place. btw she is a prostitude...
Suddenly after that I am in the Gym working out and I am giving my car keys for my BMW to my friend("have no idea why")....
So I go out to the parking lot and my friend has drove off...
I fly over to the place he lives in my dream(its another place then IRL, but close)..
And tell him to give back my car... And suddenly hi dissapear from my view and
behind me on his parking lot he is with an older model Black BMW 5 series..
So he says to me he has traded my car for an older BMW then my own..
It didnt make much sense to me...
So i said these golden Words to him "I dont give a fuck even if you traded it for 1 dollar, this is a dream anyway"..
And from here on i became aware...
So I walked very fast to a familiar place.. A block on a street i know and entered the celler.
In the celler I meet a girl I had a crush on when i was 7 years old..
Her name is Natascha.. She just says Hej and she has clothes on...
But everywhere else in the celler there are prostitudes...
So I got reminded about Mona when i saw all this prostitutes, and teleported back to my childhood home and asked Mona to come over..
So she came over and we did it .. And after that took a walk...
As i walked i meet a fitness instructor from Poland(slupsk)..
He told me he has got married and i could see he had a ring on his finger..
And above he had some scar.. I asked him about the scar..
He told me it was nothing and it could be treated with hypnosis.

So now my timer in the real World started to Bip Again and i wake up a Little from the dream.
I fast come back to the dream but without being aware of the dream anymore..
And also the memory about this second dream is very blurry...

But this is my First LD .. Atleast the first one i wrote about
I only been doing this dream Things for a few days hehe....
And this is my second dream in my life i write Down.. Pretty amazing how fun this is!

I'm sitting here in my child development class. In reality, today is my first day back from break after a two week period. The classroom is set out a little bit differently than the real one. I was seated right next to the teachers desk along with a few other students. We're waiting for an instructor, a visitor, to come in to the classroom.

I was just about to give a class presentation, but something occurred. The visitor came in a bit later. Upon arriving, they didn't even apologize for their inconvenience. I didn't like her too well. I also do remember a purple blanket and using Blender to texture its body to come out with good results.

The next thing that came up was something a little better. I was now seated next to the classroom exit door, watching what the outside looked like. I noticed I was back at Fairfax Elementary. I always picture the same exact scene whenever I dream of this school. It's my happy place. The only down side was seeing Quynh in this school. She already messed up my views of high school, I was going to let her mess up this one.

There were a couple of children outside walking in a single line towards the assembly room towards the back of the school. I couldn't tell much from their faces but the innocence in them, or at least I hope they were innocent. I'm sort of having no motivation in being a teacher's aide or teacher in this type of criteria but, every time I see children in my dreams in a school like this, I sort of don't want to let this type of career go, despite my difficulties towards speaking in class with other students. I'm not sure what will happen.

This next part was strange. I was playing Hitman Absolution but at the same time, I felt that it was real. I had to make sure I wasn't caught in the act of sneaking through an enemies' residence. This scene reminds me of the Run for Your Life mission. I had so many things to interact with such as stoves, knives, cookies, and buttons.

I slowly made my way through the kitchen. Each room that I passed by had an enemy torturing someone or something else. I didn't pay too much attention to them. At times I thought it'd be cool to sabotage a stove to make gas spread out in the air but I never did.

Red Dawn
Recall: 5/10
Sleep: OK
Sleep Position: Unknown

I see nukes going off in the distance, the flash of light, the mushroom cloud, I feel the hot radioactive winds, feel the ground trembling beneath my feed. The bombs going of are shaking the ground so badly it's painful, my feet, legs and knees are really sore.

I run for the shelter of the nearest buildings, hoping I can take shelter in the basement. But before I can get to them, bombs start falling on them, destroying them. I watch the pattern of the falling bombs and try to use that structure to keep my distance from where they are falling. Luckily these ones aren't nukes.

While everyone else is running for their lives in a panic, I pick up an empty hockey bag and begin filling it with whatever supplies I happen to come across.

Then the soldiers come flooding in, with a gun in one hand and a sword in the other. Some of the civilians fight back, and I loot the body of one of the soldiers that fell to the resistance, grabbing his sword and gun. I try to fight back, but there are just too many and they swarm the civilian resistance.

I run, end up at my hometown house with my brother. We're about to head into the basement to take shelter from the falling bombs, but they seem to be targeting houses. Instead we hide in the tree fort. It's an odd shed/treefort thing with multiple rooms. We go up a ladder to the top room and inside it connects to a barn/warehouse building. I find a good hiding/defensive spot in case the soldiers enter looking for us.

Some soldiers do come in, but I manage to ambush them without attracting more attention.

I was really going for the "sand" trick that I used in The Sands of the Colosseum but I never could figure out how to capitalize on it. I need to learn to be a bit more flexible and much less fearful of the dark. Given what I've learned, all of that concern about the dark is nothing but a bad habit. This was a good learning experience though!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #82: Afraid of the Dark

I believe that this was a DILD, but my first memory is of being lucid in a huge, empty office space with plain white walls, harsh fluorescent lighting, and blue-gray industrial carpet. It looks like a place where there'd normally be a cubicle farm, but the floor is totally clear.

I'm happy to be lucid, but I want a new location. I want to perform the "sand trick", which involves focusing on the floor and rubbing it until I'm convinced that my hands are digging through sand. I start crawling around on the floor, find myself a spot, and start rubbing.

Nothing happens at first, so I focus harder on the thought that this is sand. Unfortunately, I'm looking right at industrial carpet and the thought won't go away. Finally a bunch of disgusting dust and dirt puffs up from the carpet and blows around, but it's not what I'm looking for. I try for a while longer but I feel myself becoming obsessed.

I get up and notice a set of doors in a far-off wall. I run over to it, place my hand on the doorknob, and imagine that the Colosseum is on the other side. I throw the doors open and instead of the Colosseum I see a darkened warehouse. I can't see in too far but I do make out a few scattered cardboard boxes.

"Too dark", I think. "Not going in there." I close the door, think about the Colosseum, and open it again. This time the boxes are gone and the room looks even darker.

I give up, close the door, and follow the wall to a closet-like cubby hole. I crawl around in here and again try to produce sand from the carpet. Even though this cubby is set off to the side, the lighting is unbearably harsh and I just produce more puffs of dust, like the carpet needs a good vacuuming. I try to close my eyes but they won't comply. It seems like this office scene is burned into my brain.

I jump to my feet and run around a bit, doing a quick dive-roll just for kicks. I round a corner and find one of my Siberian Huskies locked in a big cage. He whimpers and paws at the door. I fumble around for a latch but don't see anything.



I'm preparing to open the crate via telekenesis when Wife appears from behind me and says, "Oh here, let me take care of that!" I almost tell her that I'm having a lucid dream but I figure that she already knows. She crouches down and starts working the lock. I make the mistake of waiting around and lose lucidity.

The lock pops open and our dog comes bounding out. He runs past us and buries his face into a used-up paint can that's nearby. I look to see what he's doing and am horrified to see that he's happily chowing down on a couple of dead roaches. I'm about to tell him to stop but Wife hugs him around the neck and says, "Oh, such a good boy!!" I feel ill. Still, I decide to let it go because he's probably hungry.

Wife wanders over to a nearby window and I follow her. There are a pair of laser gun emplacements on the window sill. We each take one and she points across the dark city to a tall office building. Wooden boxes float silently out of the office building, flying off to destinations unknown. Wife explains: "Those boxes have dangerous cell phones in them that will give people cancer." We start firing our laser cannons at the evil cell phones, destroying as many boxes as we can. We get most of them but, I'm sorry to say, many get through. The dream ends...

I find this one quite amusing. xD

04.01.2013

Welcome to Hell (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

A chute opens up in the ground, and I fall down into a pile of other people. We are in a rather small shower/bathroom area that might be found in a locker room. Satan appears and says we are in Hell. He tells us that we are assigned to two particular chores every day: an hour of cleaning a bathroom and three hours of tossing a baby up and down. The catch is that we are not given clocks, so we have to measure the time in our heads. If we go under our required time, we will be punished severely.

I don't believe that this is really Hell, so I walk off and decide not to listen to him. I am gone for a while (with a memory lapse). When I return, everyone is lined up, tossing their babies up and down, up and down. I think that this CAN'T be good for them.

I approach Satan and he asks me why I haven't done my chores. "I'm better than that." I tell him. He decides that I can help him collect some souls instead. He wraps me up in packaging paper and sends me down another chute. I land in someone's kitchen. ((I can somehow see through the paper, even though I'm wrapped from head to toe)). There is a man there, and his young daughter.

I burst from the packaging paper. This scares the man and gives him a heart attack, killing him. A chute opens up beneath both of us, and we end up back in Hell.

I get a sense of deja vu. I learn that my memory lapse from earlier was because Satan had already been using me to collect souls, and he erased my memory of the events.

took:
- no 5-HTP before going to sleep
- 0 dose galantamine + choline
- no Piracetam when I got up
lucid dreaming: 0 lucid experiences
note:
- could not force myself to get up for the alarm to add the wake portion of the WBTB
- late deep sleep, I need to understand why this is occurring, it seems to always indicate nights with no LDs

It started a little bit different this time. I'm inside a cafeteria just under a multiple story home and I'm not sure how but, I became lucid when I was facing a set of drinking machines. It's creepy how some of the mantras worked before early this morning. I was laid on my bed, under the sheets and just to give it a try, I whispered to myself, "I'm going to have a lucid dream" a couple of times. I used to never believe they'd work.

Now that I was lucid, I tried to maintain my cool. I didn't want to lose lucidity so fast, so I relaxed and tried not to do anything big at the second. At the time I also thought about being in a actual dream and how amazing it felt knowing my body was still in reality. I escaped the real world to take a break from it and explore a whole new world filled with all of my wishes.

After calming down for a bit I started to try and destroy the world around me. I tend to use my magical powers to destroy things in dreams. It's not really one of my goals to use in dreaming. There was nothing much in this small cafeteria to destroy so I moved up to the higher levels using EcoCityCraft's compass powers.

I decided I wanted to do something in the dream, like steal. I walked down the hall of a nice, cozy suburban home. The rooms were silent. I walked in to a room that was almost empty. To my left was a closet room. I walked towards that area, open the door, and found something to steal. Maybe not so much steal but breaking too. I saw a lot of candy bags on top of the closet shelf. I started grabbing some of them but couldn't tell whether I should rob them or rip the bags apart. It sort of gave me a feeling of excitement.

There was a door behind this area I first walked in to. I made sure it was closed so no one else would walk in. But as soon as that happened, I noticed someone coming. I didn't get a chance to do much, but to fight with baseball bats. Neither of us got hurt, but that's how the dream ended.

1/04/13 Again the same conditions as last night, only this morning my phone alarm woke me unexpectedly which obliterated my recall D: Oh well this is the first time I have remembered more than one dream.

I was in a playground with a young Leonardo DiCaprio and a girl that I had never seen before, we were surrounded by zombies that were not attacking us rather they were attacking a man atop the slide. For some reason we didn't save him. Then in real life my alarm rang and woke me. I put it on snooze and went back to bed.

I was now in my drama lesson and the boys around were handling dollar bills so I assumed that for this project we were going to get paid. As I walked out of the lesson into the dining hall with this boy called Aaron there was a Asda store where food was usually served. He told me that he was having work experience there and jumped over the counter and took a cinnamon bun.

Then I was walking home in the dark with my friend called Jess and she was telling me she wanted to be a director when she was older, I remember thinking to myself 'as if...'

Ill try the FILD technique tonight hopefully I'll get somewhere with that. The purple represents the strange context of my dream (one of my dream signs is being somewhere new).

I was at the top of a huge brown skyscraper, one of 17 in a city. It was like a high-tech police station, with hundreds of people constantly trying solve crime and organizing evidence etc. I knew I was looking for information on bad guys, so I could find them and steal their treasure. I got quite smoothly to the top and managed to steal an employees Id card and use it to gain access to the evidence room. After stealing a blood bag that somehow had information within it I walked down a spiral stairs. I heard hell break loose when they found out something was stolen, but I had just checked out of the building at that moment. I was walking out when the women behind the desk said "Ohhh Shiiitttt" in slow motion, all the guards ran after me but I was too quick and disappeared into a crowd.
Next I walked into my own home, a china town slum and I walked past traders trying to self my valuable information, trying to look for clues. I saw eleven marks on my hand representing the police stations I'd broken into and I added another line. I started talking to an old man at a stall. He told me about the words "Ru" and "zea" and "ot", ru means to bring about a state of disorder and zea means to return the world to it's righteous place and ot means destiny. He said "Most of us are Ru-ots, we live life bringing things into disorder, however some of us ,despite our outer appearance as a Ru-ot are actually Zea-ots, the ones who make sure to create an ordered world in which destiny will flow smoothly"
After this I went into another police station and smashed a computer, which destroyed the entire computer system and I took three bad guy passports with me. This time everyone just looked at me, frightened, as I walked out. I kept walking until I reached a river. It turned out I had killed every single bad guy I could find with the evidence I had robbed and there were only the three bad guys left. I made short work of them, doing heel drops and tornado kicks.
I saw the old man from earlier sitting at the river and by accident he knocked all his stuff over. I jumped swiftly and hovered over the river, I could feel a power emerging from my stomach. I chanted something an all of a sudden those fallen items lifted from the ground back into their place in a complete reverse, almost like I had turned back time in only that place. The old man looked up approvingly and said "You are a Zea-ot". He put his arm around my shoulder and we started walking into the sunset and he told me this advice "Take the meaning of life as freely as a butterfly in the wind"

Got to work on my dream recall.

I woke up in the middle of the night with the thought feeling: I did it! I was lucid!

But no matter how hard I tried I cannot remember any of it, which makes me think that I probably was not lucid because lucid dreams do not fade like that. Although how do I know that for sure? Perhaps there are tons of lucid dreams I have had, but do not remember?

What I suspect is that this was another non-lucid dream about dreaming. Perhaps I actually remember my dream quite well, perhaps I dreamed "I did it! I was lucid!" And that was the content of my dream?

Anyway for a split second there I was very happy.

I'm walking through an obnoxiously clean, beautiful house. I'm talking Martha Stewart perfect. The kind of perfect that makes you uncomfortable and terrified, because that's when you will suddenly become the most clumsy person in the world and all hell will break loose, your hands being the bringers of destruction. I walk past a long, glass dining room table. Sitting alone at the table is Stiles. As I walk by, he looks up at me and smiles, as if to say everything is alright. That's the feeling I get from him. I smile back at him and continue walking. I walk into a kitchen. There, standing behind a counter top, is an older man. He is really tall and thin. He's wearing a lime green t-shirt. His hair is white and below his waist and he has a big, bushy mustache. I stop in front of him and tell him how much I like his hair. I tell him that it looks just like my dad's hair. He smiles politely and says thank you. He turns away from me for a second and then turns back around to face me again. His hair is now clipped short and neat. His mustache is no longer there. I instantly know that that can't be right. Something is wrong. I start to wonder what could have happened and then I wonder if I did that. But there is no way that his mustache and long hair could just disappear. Then I wake up.

(While small, I believe this is my first experience with lucid dreaming. I became aware, even if only for a short time.)