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As I went to sleep tonight, I recited a mantra, "I will stabilize". I also firmly fixed in my mind that as soon as I began dreaming, I would know that I was dreaming.

This worked. I spent some time drifting, and then a dream began. I was lying in bed, and the lights were on. I looked to my left. There were 3 tiny, glowing playing cards floating in the space above my head. I thought, "Yes, I'm dreaming," and snatched the playing cards from where they were floating. It's hard to explain, but the cards were a cue for me - it was specifically seeing the cards that made me lucid. I don't remember what suites the cards were, only that they were 1/4 the size of normal playing cards, they were glowing, and they immediately induced lucidity.

I got out of bed, and my bedroom was very different and not at all like my real bedroom. The carpet was worn out, and an ugly shade of tannish orangy brown. My "dream room" carpet is always this ugly color, for some reason. The door was in the wrong place, and led to a hallway that doesn't exist, and there was no furniture besides my bed. The bed was a twin, but in real life, I have a full. I said, "Stabilize!". I went to the door and tried to visualize that as soon as I went through it, I would be in a rainforest. I tried very hard to convince myself of this.

When I went through the door, everything was dark. I saw shadowy forms that hinted that I was in another room. I got frustrated and lost lucidity.

I woke up, grumbled, and tried WILD. I got past the initial wave and felt as if I was sinking into my bed. I sat up out of my body. I tried to open my eyes, but it was very hard, and I felt like I was opening my physical eyes. I was really tired and had work in the morning, so I gave up on it and lapsed back into unawareness. I dreamed that my head had made a huge dent in my pillow, so now my pillow had 2 lumps of stuffing on either side and nothing in the middle. I tossed and turned (in the dream) and tried to make it comfortable somehow.

I dreamed I was shopping at a store. I've never been there in my waking life. There was a desk on a top shelf that I was interested in - it was $50, and I thought it would make a good room divider. But my cell phone was malfunctioning badly. The screen came off (how?) and then it got hot to touch and melted. I got some of the melted screen on my finger, and it burned me. I kept thinking about how frustrated I was that all of my money now had to go toward buying a new phone. I needed a smartphone, too, so it was going to be expensive.

I woke up. I tried some visualizations. I visualized a room full of dolls, where each doll represented a DC I knew. I visualized putting a doll on the floor and making it grow to full size. (I was not asleep at this time). I began drifting off, but the visualization didn't completely take hold, and I didn't become lucid. Instead, the room became the room of a woman with a group of really odd friends. My dream followed their antics, but I don't recall any specifics on what they were.

Review:
Dream clues:
- Playing cards (instant lucidity)
- My pillow doesn't have stuffing. It's a memory foam pillow.
- Unfamiliar store, without recalling how I got there
- Malfunctioning phone (malfunctioning electronics)
- Spectator perspective

Edit: Believe it or not... I actually figured out the playing cards while I was riding the train home. In my dream, they were glowing like they were lit up LEDs. On the train ride home, there's an installation where LED playing cards flash by the train windows. I tend to stare out the window at them because I'm bored and they're something to look at... which means I'm also staring at my reflection. So, since mirrors instantly make me lucid (for some reason), apparently my brain linked the playing cards with my reflection strongly enough that just looking at a card makes me lucid.

Original journal entry dated Feb. 9th 2002:

I had another bizarre dream last night. In it, M and A were going to a college in California, and they were driving there. I was going to a college in Michigan, and bummed because I couldn't go with my friends. My mother and her boyfriend were going to a casino somewhere. Anyway, M and A, instead of using a map, rolled up a little ball of clay and gave it a face. It would shout directions at them and tell them how to get where they wanted. But it was EVIL. And its strength came from mirrors. So at one point, they smashed every mirror in the hotel room trying to kill it. But it WOULDN'T DIE! And they'd given my mother one of them, too. As for myself, I had stayed home trying to figure out how I could follow my friends, but they showed up at my house saying that they hadn't been able to get to California. And then my mother and her boyfriend came home.


Original entry dated Feb. 1st, 2002:
Regarding several dreams taking place over a period of time:

Dream #1:
I dreamed about a vampire who was actually a large anthropomorphic lion, only he kept falling into lava and coming back to life. And I dreamed that I was at the Russian Olympic games, where one of the sports was to swing around a pole and see how far one could vault into the water. This feat was performed by 6 foot tall 8-year-olds. I sat in the bleachers, only I didn't have a ticket, so when they came around looking at peoples' tickets, I forged one and tried to remain inconspicuous.

Dream #2:
I dreamed that we were in a car trying to cross a bridge, which was actually a large ramp across a channel - you accelerated and then flew through the air and landed on the other side - but we kept crashing and dying.

Then I was on an ocean-liner with my aunt, and there was a murderer loose, and he would claim his next victim by slashing them on the thumb a day or two before he killed them. And my aunt got a slash on her thumb, so then she was really scared, and then my finger turned into a squid, so we all became vegetarians because we could no longer stand the sight of shrimp.

Last night I dreamed that the lead singer in my band came up to me wearing glasses that had glass wings extending about a foot from each side of her glasses. She said to me "What do you think?"

"You can fly", I said and we both laughed.

Earlier in the day I had found out that she would be able to join us for a gig in Puerto Vallarta, and she would be flying there to join us.

Funny to see how my mind works.

Didn't lucid dream, unfortunately. Dreamt about having to beat a boss. I also got an ice home, which was a circular room with an ice pillar in the middle. There was a hole that led to an NPC, I'll call him, and he led me to the boss. I struggled against it before waking up. That was basically it, and I had my teammates beside me as well. I don't remember their faces, or if I talk to them on a daily bases.

[COLOR="#800080"]This is one of the coolest dream I ever had, So I might as well type it down just in case I forget it.[/COLOR]

[SIZE=3][COLOR="#800080"]I'm in my apartment with my family and I suddenly have a heart attack(That was so damn random). I die and leave my body into this grey shadow.I look at my body laying on the ground in horror. I see my dad and my sister in those shadows so I realize they died too. I find out that my godmother died too so I started crying because she was one of the persons I always believed in, told all of my secrets and I also got very good advice from her. I cry desperately and I ask my mom when she will come to us because I wanted to be together with her, she said she couldn't come only in 20 years when she'll be old enough to die. I cry and get really depressed.I try to posses my own body and realize it's working.I get back to my shadow form(Whenever I switched from shadow to human form I felt like a jolt in my upper body) and I tell mom that there's no hell or heaven and that I was right when I told her that god doesn't exist(Last night I had a conversation with her about the existence of god and she refused to even think about it). I ask someone if I'm able to walk while possesing the body, I get no answer but I try to do it and it works.I then think about visiting my grandmother and my grandfather. I go into my grandmother's room and I look around when I notice some shadows and I ask them about my grandmother and grandfather.One of them says that they are busy and they will come later but I keep insisting on meeting because I really wanted to spend time with them.My grandmother appears and she seems like she doesn't want me to talk with her, she just tells me she's busy and smiles. I put her in a.... pokeball.... and throw her on the ground. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was going around streets then through an underground passage.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was playing hearthstone, but there was some weird system of numbers integrated for sending actions.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was on some island.

Dream 2(fragments):

There was a team of scientists that were making stealth suit designed especially for robbing banks, then some crazy black armored dude attacked the lab.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was in some kind of ancient temple/garden place and there was some dude that was jumping high.

Dream 4(fragment):

I was watching some anime.

Ah! So close so close so close... Slept 8.5 hours today, not surprising after last night's early waking, at first I thought I had no recall but then memories came in from the night from multiple scenes and did quick journal. Woke once or twice during the night but just too tired to journal.

Decided I still felt sleepy enough to try for a WILD again. Spent about an hour trying to sleep, with mantra going ("I'm dreaming" mostly) with visualization of desired scene. It was a fun scene so didn't really feel the time going by . Probably the wrong thing to do (visualizing the scene and playing with it)? Felt like I was trying to "make it happen" by holding the scene in my mind. At one point I did get some body hallucinations: like I was swinging. I could change the feeling from front/back swinging to side-to-side swinging like on a huge hammock. I know, I know, "don't fiddle with the noise, sonny." . I was on my back for all this, not my usual sleeping position.

Didn't feel like I was making progress, so I rolled over to side (usual sleeping position), and decided just to "let it happen" instead of trying to "make it happen," let go of visualisations, did my usual "go to sleep/dream" relaxing/releasing of mind/thoughts, but kept "I'm dreaming" mantra. And pretty soon my breathing became a bit shaky and laboured, my heart rate went up a bit, and my mind entered a feeling just like how lucidity feels in a DILD, yet I was totally aware as it occurred! Tried to stay relaxed and kept mantra going. Strong feeling of excitement/anticipation. But I didn't see anything except the back of my eyelids. I thought "where's the dream?" Feeling subsided a bit, and I found I could "push" back towards it a little.

Didn't make it in but that's the closest I've ever been....but jeez after an hour of visualization, no dream images waiting for me!?

Anyway, "Let it happen" seems to be the key, which is I believe just what Sageous is teaching . Also I think it's not a bad mantra...

The experience gives me confidence that I can in fact WILD! Just have to hold on to the patience longer and let the dream form...

1st LD
I was near my village house, understood that its a dream, made RC and flew a bit. Then remembered TOTM with pies. I had several DCs near me, so i summoned pie and threw in the nearest. But missed. I summoned a lot of pies (about 20) but only 2 or 3 hit the DC's face. But DCs didn't react on me. i don't like it because i wanted the pies destroyed and theese pies jumped from the taget like balls. So i summoned a bottle with cherry jam. Put it with my hand and throw in the nearest man. It was in the white shirt. And in his daughter. i saw red spots from my jam on their clothes. The man came to me and spit in my face. But missed and the spit was on my hair. I went to the road, transformed the road into the river and washed the spit. and exit to real.
2nd LD
i return to my village house on the train and found myself near the other town. i thought how can i get to house now? then remembered, that such situation can be in LD. And if its a LD i will be in my bed.I count fingers and just wait till i wake up.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #159: Bears

I’m in a restaurant fashioned like a log cabin, talking on the phone with my friend “Dragon”. He’s telling me about the new job that our friend “AJ” just got and he’s chiding me because I know so little about it. We finish talking and I wander outside to find myself on a wooden deck high up in the mountains.

Now I feel like I’m part of a video game and I’d forgotten to do something important. Three pale bald men in dark trench coats (sort of like the guys in Dark City) come floating toward me. I turn to run, but one crashes into me, pushing me off the side of the mountain. I fall, unharmed, to some rocks far below. I want to get the hell away from these guys, so I duck into a little cave and wind up in some kind of white-walled room that looks like a lab. I wonder whether I’m actually playing a video game or just dreaming and realize that yes, I’m dreaming.

There’s a bed in the room that I’m in and a few other people milling around. Their identities don’t seem to be all that stable, but for much of the dream, one of them appears to be Anna Kendrick. I feel like they’re all trapped here, so I say, “This is all a dream. You don’t have to stay here!” I head for the doorway and they all follow.

When I get close to the door I remember my goal of cranking my dream vividness up before anything else. I decide not to let myself get in too much of a hurry. There’s a weird section of carpet by the door so I kneel down to touch it, telling everyone with me to do the same. “This is my lucid dream. None of us have to believe that this is real.” (I’m addressing them, but mostly reminding myself.)

There’s a box of toys on a shelf to my left, and I rummage through it, intending to bring myself even more into the scene. I’m surprised to find a stuffed bear that I gave to Wife when we were teenagers! I pull it out and take it with me, sort of hugging it to me the way a little kid would.

We emerge from the lab into a chamber with hallways in four different directions. I try to remember my goals, but all I can remember is the Great Pyramid. I know there’s another one I’m not remembering but I can’t figure it out. I start to feel pretty stressed about my memory and get worried I’ll wake myself up if I get too wrapped up in this. (I was forgetting Great Barrier Reef!)

I walk down one of the halls until we step out into an amphitheater filled with apparent worshippers. They're performing some kind of sinister chant and at the bottom of the amphitheater, a huge crackling ball of dark purple energy is taking shape. Everyone’s participating in the chanting except me now, including Anna Kendrick and the rest of the companions from the lab.

I become sure that they’re summoning some kind of dark god. I know that I shouldn’t worry about stuff like this, but I just want to get away before this causes me a problem. I turn around and decide to ignore their evil ritual before it becomes a nuisance for me. Slightly annoyed by my own fear, I clutch the stuffed bear to me again, hugging it roughly as I flee up a set of stairs..

There are a couple of guys sitting near the top of the stairs as I emerge into daylight. One of them, a black guy in a checkered shirt, asks me, “What’s with the teddy bear?” I explain that I’m using the bear to help keep myself anchored into this dream. I hand him the bear just as a crush of people come trampling down the stairs like it’s rush hour. Pretty soon I can’t see the guy anymore through the crowd.

Rather than get frustrated trying to recover the bear, I move on. At the top of the steps, I see my son’s green Beanie Baby bear, so I scoop it up and hold it as a replacement. I walk onward, passing by the front entrance of a hotel. A couple of guys come up to me and offer me a $1200 discount on a Hawaiian Airlines flight. I think that this sounds like a great deal but I tell them, “Sorry, I’m having a lucid dream, though. So maybe offer that to someone who can use it.”

I lose the dream, wake up, and hold on for DEILD. The DEILD works and I emerge back into a second-story bedroom. I grab onto the bedding, kneading it with my hands, focusing on making the scene super vivid. It works, and I keep doing this for a while until I realize I’m sort of afraid to let go. Stop being a weenie! I force myself to let go and take a flying leap at the window, intending to phase through.

The phase gets stopped cold, though, and I bounce right off the window. I will the window to come down, which it immediately does… and behind it is another pane of glass! I lower that one as well, seeing a third pane. I’m starting to feel slightly irritated by this, and fortunately when I lower this pane, it’s a clear shot to the outside.

I scramble through the window, catching my reflection on the outside of an office building across the street. Even though I’m crawling through the window, my reflection is walking upright like there’s nothing in the way. My reflection and I both laugh at the error.

When I drop down to the street below, I feel the sun bright to my left side, which I believe is west. I feel slightly nervous about heading into such bright light, so I turn eastward. I know that the Pyramid is somewhere ahead of me. There’s a slight wobble in the dreamworld, but it stabilizes as I walk on. I take to the sky, and with one final wobble, the dream collapses for good.

Last night I had a dream that I was at my mate's friend's house, in his room (I'll call him CS), who I have met once in real life. He lives a little way down south from me. There was a few people there, including CS's Mum, and two kids who seemed familiar, but I can't remember who they were.
They were smoking weed, so I asked if I could join them and they said I could. I asked them if they'd smoked 'chop' before (weed with tobacco) and from what I can remember, the white kid said "no" (there was a white kid and a black kid). I asked if I could have a little bit of bud to chop up with some tobacco and the white kid was hesitant, but said "yep".
I kept sketching out that his Mum was going to come into the room and catch us smoking weed (apparently the White Kid's Mum was CS's Mum as well), so I walked out of CS's room and into the room on the opposite side of the hallway.
CS's Mum was in this room, with two other people I can remember. One of them seemed to be a friend I know in real life. I sat in there for a while and then went back into CS's room when I thought it was safe to start toking :p
I walked out and into another room down the hallway where one of my best friends
was using the toilet in the room next to it. I went into his bag and grabbed out some tobacco. For some reason I stole it instead of asking him, which I would usually do in real life.
I walked back down the hallway to the first room I was in, the two kids were already baked, after one 'cone' or 'bowl' (we were hitting the bong).
I grabbed a bowl off a drawer in the room and tipped the rubber bands that were in it out onto the drawer and put the tobacco under the bed. I started chopping up the weed with some scissors (the scissors I used just happened to be ones that I use regularly in real life). I said to the white kid "I can chop really fast haha" or something along those lines. He told me to stop chopping because he had a faster way to chop it up. I looked at the ground and there was a machine which looked like a smaller version of a tree shredder, it wasn't there when I had entered the room which confused me. Apparently you could put bud in it and it would grind it up for you.
I said "no thanks, I like the feeling of chopping bud up in my fingers" (I really do like doing that in real life). He said "alright" and I continued chopping.
Then I reached under the bed and grabbed some of the tobacco from earlier. For some reason, when I told the two kids I was getting the tobacco, they pulled out three big stones which were shaped like donuts, and said it was "old baccy" (as in tobacco they used to use in the old days before modern tobacco was invented - which doesn't even make sense! :p). I said "no thanks" feeling confused again, and chopped up the tobacco I had with the weed and then woke up.

ALSO: For some reason, my fingers really hurt when I was chopping up the bud, it felt almost real.
I don't understand why I didn't go lucid when so many strange things happened in my dream.

Original Journal Entry - Feb. 1st, 2002:


Santa Claus was actually an evil overlord who derived his power from people giving him pennies (thus granting him control over them). He caused storms and floods that destroyed entire villages. But we robbed him of his power, and he became a decrepit old man who traveled around with a family in a station-wagon. One of the little girls in the family learned his power, that is, to clap her hands and cause thunderstorms. The station-wagon then floated magestically across the ocean, into the sunset.

Original journal entry dated Jan. 31, 2002:

#1:
I had a dream that I was in a grade school fighting demons with an iron, and was afraid to stand still too long because they would come up through the floor. It had the Gundam pilots in it, for whatever reason. Then there was something about a woman being a train on train tracks going through a flooded city, and meanwhile I was a juvenile delinquent trying to set myself straight and failing miserably.

#2:
I lived in an apartment with the old dude from Men In Black. And then I was taking care of my pet rabbit, and for some reason the radiator was in the bathroom. I was cleaning her cage and set it next to the radiator, and somehow she got out of the cage and into the radiator. I managed to get her out but she was VERY badly burned, and really cut up, so I was flipping out and my mother (who was suddenly there for some reason) was telling me to cut it out because the burns were only third degree (?!) and she wasn't missing THAT much skin. Then mom woke me up (in real life) to tell me that she had let my rabbit run around on the deck for another hour or so. Then I went and checked on my rabbit (this is awake, in real life) who was remarkably unburnt and had all of her skin. *shudder*

Non-Lucid

Was at a concert in Melfort (Or a small town), and AC/DC was performing. I was worried, because the show was far from sold out (The crowd looked big at first, but at a second glance, showed only like 9 people). I was worried because AC/DC might not come back after this. I was standing off to the side of the stage, and the band came out. I screamed in excitement, and gave Angus the Devi horns sign. He flashed the sign back, and hi-fived me. Angus had a grape sucker hanging out of his mouth, as well as a toothpick with a pickle slice at the end (apparently this was his signature look). He was a young version of Angus (1970s). When I was screaming at the concert, I was sorta trying to keep it quiet, because nobody else was screaming and I felt embarrassed being the only one screaming.

Non- lucid

My Chemical Romance was coming to Melfort. I was going to be able to meet them as well. I promised Chevy I'd get something signed for him.I was going to bring a copy of The Black Parade, as well as a book Gerard wrote. I could NOT find the book. I was looking in shopping bags (full of copies of Conan the Barbarian), under couches, and in stacks of books. There was a group of guys in the room watching me search.
During the searching process, I met a girl (do NOT remember her name) and she gave me her name & number to put in my phone. She was going to MCR too (I think), and I developed a big crush on her(I was single in my dream). I eventually went back to the house, looked under a couch, and found the book. I started on my way to the concert (worried I might be late due to all the searching)

Right. I am way behind with journalling. In the meantime, got mostly short lds and finally a long one today (will post separately).

Date: 1 Nov

Combo: SJW, B6, p.oil cap, latte

It's been around two months since the last time I took this combo. This time, I found the dreams before the wbtb very emotionally charged and not with pleasant emotions. It was mentally exhausting.

I do a quick wbtb and go back to bed repeating the mantras. An hour passes by where I thought I was awake but actually I was in some sort of deep sleep. Can't recall thinking or dreaming anything. I take a couple mins to concentrate on having an ld and fall asleep.

LD: From the darkness, the scene begins to form around me and I start walking briskly to allow myself to get in properly. I am on the street in some neighborhood. As I examine the surroundings, I see a chimp in the yard across the street. Cool! I remember that I was supposed to turn into a gorilla for the NY task, so having a point of reference for the transition is very welcome. My thoughts and emotions make the chimp stand on its feet and beat its chest or something like that.

The dream is kind of unstable and as I look around, I see the chimp suddenly vanish in front of my eyes. It quickly fades away to become transparent, where only the contours can be seen, then these disappear as well. I want the chimp to reappear and look in another direction. Behind the fence of a close by yard, there are now a number of bear cubs and as I am staring at them they quickly increase in numbers. The whole yard is now filled with bear cubs, maybe 15-20 of them. I look towards what I feel is the city center, hoping to see a tall building, but there are only 5- story blocks here. There's this gut feeling that I shouldn't have started changing the dream so early on as this is causing too much instability, but it's already too late. I wake up.

I do another quick and rather sloppy attempt to have an ld, but it seems that I fall into unmemorable sleep again.

4 Nov

From scratch short ld in the living room. High instability, decided to do yoga - handstand but lost the feel of my hands and dream collapsed.

5 Nov

Stable, vivid, somewhat unpleasant atmosphere. Recognized frequency of objects (toilets) as DS. Decided to leave the place by phasing through a mirror. Imagined Egypt behind and phased but ended in the void. Shortly felt warmth and some sand around but then continued floating forwards in the dark void. Minor dream paralysis (in the void) while trying to rub hands.