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All I remember is a violent scene in which I grab my mom by her throat in anger... I felt disturbed about this when I woke up.

I dreamed I was with a bunch of people in Barstow CA. Some other things had happened in the dream which I no longer remember. But at some point we looked up in the sky. The evening sky was almost dark, but there was still a little light left after the sun set. The clouds parted and we saw a huge aircraft. At first I was sure it was a UFO--something from an alien world. But a guy next to me said that it belonged to our military that he had heard rumors that they were working on these, but didn't know that they were completed. It was flat with a couple of brighter red lights, with some dimmer yellow ones around the edges. It looked like a flying aircraft carrier. We stood there for a moment and watched it. Then all of a sudden it started shooting down missiles. Everyone screamed and scattered.

I had this dream this evening about cheating on my husband. We recently got married a month ago on the 12th, and his dream really disturbs me. The dream starts where I'm with my family and my husband at this Summerhome. There are a few other people there that are not related to my family, and I have no idea why they were there. We're standing outside talking about something when I see this little girl and her father. Something I was talking about caught his attention, and we start arguing because he thinks he knows more about the subject than I do. I start saying how I definitely know more about the subject because I've had three years of classes on it and since it's been a while since I've had the classes, I have had years and years of experience on the matter. He asked me if that is true, and when my mother backed me up he seemed impressed. We start getting along a lot better after this and his young daughter and I become quick friends. We hang out throughout the rest of the day and things keep happening that needed me to resolve them and he seems like he is becoming more and more impressed with me. Suddenly, he gets serious and asked if he can see me inside alone to talk with me. His daughters watching like she's really excited and knows what's going to happen, and I follow him out of curiosity wondering what's going on. We go into a room where he stops and admits to me that he is falling in love with me. I realize that I'm falling for him too, and he becomes very happy that he has finally found someone that he could be with after his wife passed away. That's when I realize something: I can't be with him because I am married. He can tell that I have become incredibly sad and asked me what's wrong. I show him the ring on my finger and tell him that I am married. He seems taken aback and becomes upset telling me that should not have let him on. I did nothing of the sort! I was hanging out with him with every intention of just being friends and he was the one he was interpreting something out of nothing. We go our separate ways, but I cannot take my mind off of him. I suddenly become very sad that I had to be married and cannot be with him and realize that I may like him more than my husband. This thought upsets me because I'm very deeply in love with my husband, and henceforth become very confused about everything. I start wondering to myself why me and this man can't have an affair? He seems much too honorable for something like that, but I keep wishing he will come to me and tell me that he wants that. I go back outside when my husband arrives From wherever he was beforehand. We walk around, hanging out, all the while realizing that the guy who likes me is watching me from a distance. I realize that the only reason I am hanging out with my husband is because I feel obligated to. We go into a room and start talking when the man enters because he needed to get something out of that room. My husband starts talking with him, because he's just one of those people that likes to be friends with everybody. The entire time me and this man are looking at each other with heavy intensity and I suddenly send my husband out of the room to get something for me that I know will take him a while to get. As soon as he leaves, the man and I start making out until my husband returns. He said he could not find what I wanted and continues the conversation with the man. I start talking to my husband to distract him from the looks that I'm giving the man which indicate that I want him and me to have an affair. The man nods and I realize that it would be hard because we live so far apart but it can still be done, and I get him to give me his number without my husband knowing. I feel incredibly rotten about everything thats been going on and the arguments with myself inside my head never seem to cease. suddenly, my husband wants to go to the park and the other guy asks to come along, so we take separate cars and start driving to the park. When we get there we meet an old dream ex of mine. She keeps talking about her lingering feelings for me and the only thing I have to say to her is I don't know who you are over and over again. My husband is becoming upset that she's there when suddenly she sees the look that the man is giving me. She asks me if the man and I are seeing each other, and of course I deny it, but she keeps insisting so intently that finally everything becomes revealed. She gets upset and leaves and I realize that my husband now knows everything. I am so ashamed of myself that I can't even turn to look at him, but I know that he looks very betrayed. The man, seeing how I treated my ex so badly, decides that he doesn't want anything to do with me. So him and my husband get into their cars and leave me stranded at the park. I don't know how I got back, because I'm suddenly back at the Summerhome, but I got the feeling my mom picked me up. I am incredibly upset realizing how much of an idiot I was and that the only reason I wanted to be with the man was because I wanted to be a mother to his daughter and felt sorry for her being so young to have lost her mother, and that I should never have tried to cheat on my husband, when I see his mother sitting down against the wall looking at an iPad. I ask her if she knows where he is and my mom says that he went to one of my old hometowns and is going to live with another woman who has the same name as me. I ask if he is going to be involved with her and she says no, the woman already has a boyfriend. I feel relieved but then I suddenly become very intent on getting a hold of him and ask his mother if she has had any progress finding him. She says not yet and I start freaking out, screaming find him! She smiles and says that she has found a number that she believes is his and calls it, handing me the phone. Somebody answers and I realize that it is him. I say his name and he suddenly becomes very hurt sounding and says he does not want to talk to me. The rest of the dream is me begging him over the phone to forgive me and trying to explain to him the situation, when I wake up. I become incredibly relieved that it was all a dream, but this really confuses me because I know I would never ever do this in real life and I'm wondering why I had this dream.

non lucid
*Me and a dharma friend were laughing because someone showed up an hour early to the dharma center. For some reason that was funny.

*I looked at my mother thinking how beautiful she was and why is it so hard for to find love when she appears so lovely. Then she left me and brother someone because she wasn't up for going into town. I could tell the more we saw each the more nervous she became.

I was using King Yoshi's Wild Guide but i failed., but I shall never give up.
So I decided to just go to sleep.
I don't remember how but somehow I became Lucid in my dream.
I looked out my window and saw one of my girl classmates in high school and the other two, I don't know.
They were dressed ready to go to prom night or something.
Was talking to them (forgot the topic) got bored and went into my brothers room.
For some reason, sometimes my reality checks, in my dream, won't work when I'm taking to my brother.
Did a couple of reality checks to make sure that I was still dreaming. Bingo, I was dreaming.
Then it occurred to me that if this is a dream, then I can summon anything I want.
I made sure that only my brother was in the room and then I went out.
I repeated this phrase to myself "Behind this door is (girl classmates name)" two to three times.
When I looked inside the room, There my brother was sitting on the bed playing games.
But next to him was my girl classmate.
I took her to the bathroom.
We were about to do it but then I woke up.
Got too excited.

i was gunna go to the beach with ryan but was nervouse cause i didnt wanna smoke weed
his family turned into the jajeh family
they drove to some basketball center
later i drove there by myself where a cop made faces at me

Lucid dream AND TOTM!!!

I was at this sort of fancy party. The hosts were incredibly weird. They were like vampires, as in they were OLD, and yet they looked like a normal family. They just seemed out of time, I guess, like they were dressed and they spoke as if they were from a different century. They hadn't done anything wrong, but I KNEW I had to kill them.

So I went upstairs (we were in a sort of a fancy building/hotel) and I killed the mother (not sure how, I just got there, saw her and next thing I know, I'm hiding her body). Then, the scene changed, but I wasn't there, I was just watching. There were two sons of this family and they were just outside of a palace in India. They got a phonecall and I couldn't hear anything that was being said, but they took the cellphone, listened to what the caller was saying and started crying. So I knew that they had found out about their mother.

Back to me, I was running on the streets at night, my family is with me. We were all running as fast as we could. We kept having to avoid the cars, because, for some reason, we couldn't just run on the sidewalks. My parents were ahead and then there was a train line in front of us and the train was coming. We stopped, but my parents kept going and I expected the train to hit them, but they managed to cross it before that happened. The train was tiny and just the main car, so we kept running after that, but my parents were way ahead of us by then.

There were some holes on the street and I was going to say that we should probably go around them, but my parents kept running and they jumped the first one while holding hands. I was sure they were going to fall, but they didn't. They jumped over the second hole, but my dad didn't make it. My mum threw herself there, wanting to be/die with my dad. I started shouting and all I could feel was despair. Whenever I have a nightmare like this and I feel this feeling, I tell myself "FINE TIME TO WAKE UP" and I do wake up. This time, however, I thought "FINE IF MY PARENTS ARE DEAD I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE I'M GOING TO WAKE UP THEN! Oh, no, wait, I always do that and I miss the chance of having a lucid dream... AHA I'M LUCID!"

And since I knew my parents weren't actually dead, I felt much better. I then told myself that I WAS going to get the TOTM done, cause... seriously? I can't even remember the months in a dream? That's stupid, of course I can! And so I started: "November! October! September! August! July! June! May! ...oh, shit, what comes before May? Okay, hold on, Janeiro, Fevereiro, Março, Abril, Maio... OH YEAH APRIL! Okay, so November! October! September! August! July! June! May! April! March! March? Yeah, it's March! February! January! I GOT IT!" and wow, that was hard! I was also counting on my fingers. Fortunately, my hands were normal and I didn't have extra fingers.

After that, I was sure I was going to wake up, so I decided to fly and see if it'd keep me in the dream. I started flying and, at one point, I could feel my real body. I focused on the flying, though, and that got me fully back to my dream. So that made me feel super confident about myself and my lucid dream abilities. I decided that I could totally summon the main character of the story I'm writing. I started shouting "EFRAIM!!!" over and over, until a voice answered. It was a kid's voice, in fact, it was the voice of a character from Dragon Ball Z. He said that I had to let him lead me. I said okay, started flying again and I followed some golden leafs that were in the air.

When I got to where the leafs led me, it was a weird place. It was like it was made of clouds, everything was so white and fluffy. There were lots of shelves, kinda like a library. So I landed on the floor and started looking for Efraim/kid from Dragon Ball Z. This is when I lost lucidity.

I kept walking until I ran into my family. They were going through some stuff... I got closer and I saw my grandmother holding my notebook. I got really mad and told her that she couldn't just take my things like that. I woke up.

I arrived to a classroom late after some papers were passed out it seemed like a college class unable to determine about what. Once the class is about to end the professor gives another student and I the papers needed for the course. Afterwards when the class is emptying out I stay with about 3 others that are sitting in front me and then this girl approaches me and starts playing with my hand which I immediately start playing back with her. Dont see her face since Im focusing on her hand moment which was mad cute so I just let it be playing it cool.

I only remember one dream, and I was a little girl in the dream lol..............................

I was at one place which was supposed to be like a hard level I had to do over.. oh just remembered part of my dream

First fragment I remember I was at this one level of Super mario 64 and I was telling these people about Super Mario Sunshine. I showed them the gamecube cover of the game and sunlight radiated through me and I felt the warmth of the sun. Then I just had to say Praise the suN!!! lol.

Next fragment I had I was this little girl and I was trying to beat this one level on Majoras Mask, Ocarina of Time, or Mario or something I forgot. You had to enter the level through this painting or somehow, and quickly press up down left right left right a b a b start select, at least thats what I thought the code was. And if you didnt do it fast enough you couldnt beat the level. I remember I was a little girl playing the level and there was this mean older lady trying to do mean stuff. Like the principal in Matilda. Thats all I remember

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

There was a story about three dragons-warriors which used massive weapons to fight whole enemy armies. Then they were back to base and were talking with each other and other dragons. Then they were called to meet the leader, which was even bigger and with even more massive weapon, he said that he will give them more power and told them to do something specific, but then discussion started and one of warriors borrowed leader's weapon temporarily, he said that he was ok with it. Then everyone started roaring collectively and dream ended into brief FA.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was playing star trek online and there was something weird about leveling.

Dream 3(fragments):

There was something about portals and different dimension in which giants lived. There was huge circus and bus going out, and in the bus in random mug little horse and a girl were hiding.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was going on streets and then through some other place.

Dream 2:

I was playing some game that was somehow a hybrid of video game and forum game where at times i controlled character and at other times posting actions in some thread. I was going through some places and then there was a eastern style temple where i talked to a few characters and then enemies appeared and we had to fight them.
Later after going through a few rooms i had to go through a few corridors, which looked frozen. Game turned into an fps and lots of enemies started spawning, including some frozen skeletons. Then after corridors there was circular frozen arena place, it had two floors and kamikazi bug kind of enemies started spawning all over the upper floor and jumping down. I got up and managed to hold the wave off and defeat it.
Then level continued into dark storage place, which also looked frozen. There was alot of boxes and view switched top-down. After a while of going around an ambush got triggered and enemies started appearing everywhere, including gnaars from serious sam series and kamikazi bugs with which i dealt earlier. The place took a few attempts and i've had to reload save game.
Next up, i reached place that looked like frozen junkyard of some kind where i had to fight more enemies, then i noticed that my max hp glitched out and i had only 2 segments max, and boss fight was coming up as well. The boss fight was apparently fight against Dante, just like in DMC4, even the place was same. Except my max hp was crippled by a glitch and fight went on slightly differently at first. Attacks were somewhat passive and easy, managed to empty half of boss hp without getting hit. Then fight become more difficult, he started using alot of aerial attacks and also started summoning cannon balls from serious sam series, which were rolling around. Soon i failed.
I returned to previous save before fight and started exploring area more. I've found a house at the edge of frozen junkyard. In house there was some dude who had aura of darkness and i've talked to him. He summoned kinda bear like creature that was apparently a healer of some kind and i had to escort him, also there was a dark princess who joined as well. We were going through frozen junkyard and new kind of enemies appeared, wolves made of ice. I easily was able to deal with them by just smashing them apart with pure strength, then more appeared and started focusing on bear creature and ignoring me. I get annoyed and grab like 8 of them at once and smash them into ground, which causes some kind of magical symbols surrounded by red glow to rise from ground and create some kind of barrier. The dark princess said that it's very rare for that to happen and that i must be really strong if it happened.
Then random cutscene started showing that back at temple area white and red mage conflicted. One was on balcony, another on the ground and they started a fight.

14.11.2013

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Fui dormir as 00:30 repetindo o mantra "Eu sempre tenho sonhos lúcidos" até não conseguir mais me concentrar na frase e peguei no sono. Acordei as 4:00 ou 4:30 com o meu despertador para tentar executar a técnica FILD, mas não consegui fazer pois peguei no sono. Despertei as 4:50 com o despertador e o coloquei pra despertar as 5:50. Voltei a dormir e sonhei:

Eu estava em um elevador, retangular, largo porém estreito, sem portas na frente. Parecia um elevador de serviço com apenas uma "barreira" que se fechava por baixo até a altura da canela. Quando o elevador estava subindo, uma mulher acompanhada de uma garota dizia que a garota precisava subir e a colocava no elevador em movimento. A garota parecia ter algum tipo de dificuldade de locomoção. A garota tropeçou e se apoiou no meu ombro direito, me pedindo desculpas. Eu reparava que era uma garota muito bonita, magra, pequena, de cabelos ruivos e pele branca. Ela me agradecia por eu tê-la "apoiado" e dizia que se casaria comigo. Eu brincava: "Conversa com a minha esposa sobre isso", mas eu realmente me sentia atraído por essa garota e triste por não poder me relacionar com ela. Sentia uma afeição por ela. No momento parece que a Juliana estava do meu lado esquerdo, mas não a vi.
Daqui eu me via num tipo de parque, me via de frente, mas não era realmente eu. Era alguém mais encorpado, e o rosto não parecia o meu, nem o cabelo. Não lembro o que houve aqui, mas em seguida eu via um prédio, parecia estar de noite, e eu tentava ajudar essa garota, subindo o carro dela pelo lado de fora do prédio(?). Não me lembro como fazia isso, mas era algo como levitar o carro por cima com um raio de tração. Algo aconteceu e o carro desabou sobre o prédio, destruindo completamente ambos. Eu me propunha a reconstruir o prédio, e me via em 3ª pessoa juntando vigas e reerguendo o prédio.
Depois disso eu via um rapaz gordo, alto, sardento e com cara de chato/folgado (o perfeito esteriótipo do garoto grande da escola que faz bullying). O garoto assistia uma gravação de uma festa onde via um garoto sentado com um capacete em formato de tigela, com alguns detalhes que não consigo lembrar. O garoto sentado parecia familiar, algo parecido com o Tom Hiddleston. O garoto gordo via algo que ligava o garoto sentado a mim. Ao que parece, o gordo estava tentando me encontrar. Nessa hora eu me lembrava dessa festa como se eu realmente estivesse estado lá em sonho antes mesmo da cena do elevador, mas não sei de onde veio essa lembrança. O gordo pegava o garoto de capacete e o levava a algum lugar, como quem fosse prestar um depoimento e entregar o ligamento do garoto comigo, como se mais alguém estivesse atrás de mim. Nessa hora o garoto de capacete não era mais um garoto, mas sim um garota. Ela sentava e o gordo dizia algo como "Ela ainda me ama". Alguém perguntava algo a ela mas a garota não respondia ou não conseguia responder. O gordo dizia "Ela é lésbica...".
Acordei com o despertador.
[Ontem a Juliana me contou de um ex amigo que tentava ficar com ela. Disse que o cara era imaturo e dizia pras ex dele "Ela ainda me ama". Recentemente houve uma festa de aniversário de uma amiga dela, Mayara, para a qual fomos convidados. Ela sentiu que não deveria ir. Ontem ela descobriu que esse cara foi, mas como ele já não mora mais perto e nem mantém contato, ela acredita que o motivo foi para encontrá-la e nos irritar. Isso talvez explique o garoto chato procurando alguém na festa e, depois de encontrar dizer para alguém que essa pessoa ainda o ama].

I was preparing a huge feast. In part I had prepared food for it but also I ordered some from a restaurant. I think the occasion of the feast was my mother's birthday (which actually is in February).

I had set out this huge tray, and had put it in the center of the table. I arranged some fruit and vegetables on it. My plan was to add the meet that I ordered from the restaurant to it.

The owner of the restaurant surprised me by delivering the food himself. I had expected to go pick it up. He came in and proceeded to rearrange the table. While I was not looking he took the vegetables and fruit I had carefully set out and he had put them in a bowl out of sight under the table. I said what are you doing?! He said I moved this stuff to make room for the new dish. I assumed that was left over from your lunch. I needed space for the dinner. I said, this was not left over. I prepared it to go with this food you brought, and there was plenty of room on the tray for both. He was very sceptical, saying that would only work if your food and my food happened to go together well. I said, they will, I prepared and ordered food specifically so they would go together well.

I believe I woke up soon after, so the conflict was not resolved.

When I woke up, I know I recalled a dream fragment too, but now it alas is gone.

6:42am After the successful dream recall above, I kind of drifted in and out of sleep until alarm woke me for good. I tried to WILD and even got to some HI but that's it. The HI I recall there was a ball or maybe a grape with a section missing, rotating in space and then it propelled away from me toward a bright light, but after seeing that I woke up rather than fall asleep.

Original journal entry dated April 4th, 2002:

This time, my dream had some people in it I know - S and Sr. S was a nobleman who was a slight notch above a knight, and Sr was a monk. As the dream progressed they sort of lost their resemblances to either person, though, and became characters in their own rights.

Anyway, "S" had gone to the monastery to get some peace and quiet. He wasn't so much ill as stressed out. As he was walking through one of the fields he came across the monk, who was running around wearing butterfly wings and singing. He stopped to watch, puzzled by the strange sight, and the monk came up to him and started talking about how he wanted to communicate with the faeries. The monk had a Bible which was actually (and oddly) bound with the spirit of a demon. There was also a blue flower in the field that was a parasite, and grew so quickly and aggressively that it was strangling the others - this upset the noble/knight guy so every day he would go out into the field and try to hack the harmful plants up... it was a losing battle, though.

Anyway, he went into the monastery to go back to his chamber and was admonished by a monk for being so loud. He was then stopped by a messenger who had been sent by his wife, to tell him that she was arriving there the next day. The servant was a little worried about the Lady's sanity, and as for the nobleman himself, he said, "I believe she is quite looney".

The end of the dream was garbled, though - the Lady arrived, caused a lot of upset, and then through some sort of spell or ritual the nobleman or the butterfly-wing-wearing monk caused an earthquake - a chunk of the monastery that had been built to overhang the cliff fell into the sea, and unfortunately the Lady was in it at the time. And there was something about the demonic Bible, too, but like I said, the end was blurry.

I split this into a separate entry because it is long.

I woke up last night at ~10:30 pm. I had gone to bed at ~9pm. Fell asleep again at ~11:00pm.

Woke up again around 1:30-2:00am. I did not recall any dreams, except for dim impressions. Attempted WILD but was too tired.

I set my intentions to wake up at some point in the early daylight hours before work. At this point, I'd had the dreams about snowy car crashes, unicorns, etc. Woke up again at approximately 5:00am. Felt grumpy about lying in a supine position. It feels like it's going to take forever, too. I maintain the supine position until it's incredibly uncomfortable, then sloooowly roll over onto my side while trying to maintain as much of my trance as I can. Because I have work, I'm not going to fight falling into "regular" sleep too hard but I keep a halfhearted watch for any dreamlets I might be able to latch onto.

Eventually, a "proto-dreamlet" pops up. I'm not asleep enough for it to actually really be a dreamlet... it's still a visualization, just not one of my choosing. Even though it sounds like one, I really want to drive home that it's not an actual fully formed dream... it's like the difference between watching a movie and being the movie. It's an intense visualization - one I don't even fully control - but it is not a dream.

My attention wanes. My mind wanders, eventually producing a ghost of a memory. I am in a convenience store. It's the beginnings of a dream, but too "thin", like a flat image. It is an incredibly detailed visualization, but I'm not "there" yet. Again - tough to explain.

I am in a convenience store. It's old and run down. The walls are yellowing, even though they were once white. I recognize this faint memory - I am in Nebraska. I know that some of the cans and boxes on the shelves expired long ago. I move through the store. I look down... I am wearing sneakers. The floor is beige speckled linoleum, and it's dirty.

I go through a door, into a laundromat. It's full of ancient, coin-operated washers and dryers. They're dented and noisy. There's an old fat man, who looks like Archie Bunker. He's wearing a dingy wife-beater and sitting on a plastic chair. I recognize the laundromat as another dim memory.

The visualization gains vividness as I move through the exit. I am on the outside, on the second floor, on a fire escape. I go down rusty steps. My sneakers make metallic thumping sounds. I am on the ground now. I look around. The ground is flat, flat, flat, covered in brown and yellowing grass, and it is mid-afternoon. I feel very, very close... I move forward, trying to break the "surface tension" of the visualization and turn it into a true dream. It's right there...

But I am in Nebraska, and the landscape is SO BORING. I think that I don't want to have a lucid dream where I'm stuck in Nebraska, since scene changes can be a pain for me, so I try to shift it to the dreamscape from a prior dream. Kind of like a "bait and switch", to see if I can trick my brain into putting me somewhere I want to go.

It's a mistake. The vividness fades to a ghost of what it was. I cannot conjure up the evergreens that I wanted. I try hard to push more detail into the visualization, to no avail. I cannot become lucid in this state - the trance is too light, and the visualization is too dim. I don't give up, though.

I stick with trying to visualize the snowy forest, the towering evergreens... I imagine my "house" is there (my dream cottage). I approach it... shift... I am now in it. I am holding a baby, although I'm not sure why. I set the baby aside, and it disappears. I am sitting on a couch. The cottage only has one large room. I am looking out a large window at the ocean, which I can see through the snowy evergreen branches. There are hazy mountains in the distance.

The DC I have been looking for walks through the door. The visualization is still not a dream - his features are foggy. I decide to explore the cottage, but the visualization is disjointed. I discover that my bed is on a loft under the eaves. The eaves are made of natural, untreated wood. There is another window that lets me look out over the forest. The bed is soft, and covered in quilts. One quilt is a red and white patchwork quilt that I recognize from a memory.

The DC climbs up into the loft and stretches out on the bed. We watch the snow fall. The visualization is slowly regaining intensity and clarity, although nowhere near a full blown dream. My alarm goes off.