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Dream - Lucid


I was with my husband at what was supposed to be the house he grew up in. The house was small with wooden floors. His family was there; we were visiting them for the holidays.

I was in his room with him, and I saw this HUGE black and white spider sitting on the air vent on the floor. So unsettling...I hate spiders so much. I don't think I said anything about it to my husband, but I was super freaked.

Then, there was this other giant spider, but this one was red and black. It was chasing my foot wherever I moved it. I was panicking. It opened its mouth and hissed at me. I somehow deduced that this spider was poisonous because of this. I moved further away from it. There was another giant spider there at this point as well.

I then was laying in my husband's childhood bed with him. It was nighttime, and quite dark in the room. I was laying there with my eyes opened because I couldn't sleep due to the damn spiders. I made up my mind that I couldn't be laying in that bed with all the spiders lurking about. I told him that.

There was more to this dream, but I cannot remember.

~

I was going to spend the holidays with mine and my husband's family, though not all at the same time. We would be with my family one day, like on Christmas Eve, and his on Christmas Day. I remember being in the kitchen at the house I grew up in and reading a text or a note on paper about this. It was from my mother-in-law.

Then, my friend Cherie' said her dad (never met him IWL) said my husband better see him for the holidays. I was concerned that he wouldn't make it to my family's in time if he did that.

The next thing I remember is being in our apartment. We were in the living room, and Cherie's dad, who, in my dream, was a short, fat man, maybe Cherie', and my friend Ashley's brother's wife came in. Ashley's brother may have been there as well.

Some of them sat down on our couch. Cherie's dad and Cherie' started to play fight. One had been on the couch, and the other on the floor.

Then, I was designing some tube-like roller-coaster ride with Courtney S. It was indoors, and would take you in a flume in the water through this small opening. It looked as if adults could not ride because the opening was so short. Then, you would ride in this rainbow tube really fast; you would ride what you designed. It was kind of like CyberSpace Mountain at Disney Quest in Downtown Disney.

I designed one for Courtney and I to ride. I remember putting in lots of drops and sharp turns and a couple of loops at the end. We went to go ride it. We were sitting in the flume, and Courtney was sitting in front of me. She was wearing a white shirt. I was surprised she fit through the short opening, because she is very tall. Before we could enter the tube, I fell out of the flume into the water. I somehow got back in, but I'm not sure how. The ride was very fun and wild, though I think I only got to ride the last part of it since I had fallen out before.

Then, Courtney designed a ride. For some reason, I couldn't be there. I'm not sure where I was, but I saw this flash of a long poem. Courtney had written it. It was about how much she loved me (not in a romantic way, but in an unconditional way). Though I didn't get a chance to really read the words, I intuitively knew that that's what it was. Cherie' then told me that the ride Courtney had designed was an expression of her love for me. I knew inside that she was not upset that I wasn't there for the ride. She understood.

~

I don't remember where I was, but it was very realistic. Something seemed weird, though I can't remember what it was exactly, so I did a finger count RC. I looked down at my left hand, and could immediately tell I had too many fingers. I counted just to make sure, and got six.

Holy crap! I'm dreaming! I honestly didn't expect the RC to work; I thought it was real life!

I remembered my goals quite clearly, and really wanted to try to dream share again, but I did not feel that I was in a deep enough sleep to do it (will explain more about this at the end). Instead, I approached some DCs and asked them some questions, and of course, had to tell them that we were in a lucid dream.

Then, something about my wedding photographer, Rachel. She was coaching me with something, though she wasn't supposed to be. I can't remember what it was though! I was in a room with her.

I woke up and went back to sleep.

I was still lucid, and Rachel had gotten moved to another location. I found her. More coaching. I remember flying or floating at some point. I thought about it too hard at first and it failed, then remembered I could just think about it and it would be so. And so I just thought about it without focusing too hard, and I floated up.

Woke up, went back to sleep. I would say I was semi-lucid for the rest of the dream.

They had again moved Rachel, but this time, I had to get caught with her the first time I went in. It was very video game-esque. I had to go into this temple, or pyramid. It reminded me of Ancient Egypt. There was water flowing in the opening I entered, and light was then coming through a small opening where the water was falling into the pyramid. I knew that was where Rachel was, but she was with someone else, someone who did not want me there. I do not even think that this someone was human. What I had to do was go through the opening, get caught and thrown out, and then have to find a new way in because the original way would get blocked off. The lights would also be out; I would have to do it in darkness.

I then was having to load up these dirty dishes onto this conveyor belt that took them up into an incinerator. I'm pretty sure I was naked? Anyway, I would have to run up some stairs to grab all the dishes that were empty or unused, and take them off the belt and put them somewhere else to be recycled. I was explaining this process to someone. I then loaded the dishes on the belt, checking first to see if they were empty so I could remember which ones were and weren't when I got up the stairs. I loaded a bunch, then raced up the stairs. The belt was moving too fast for me to save every dish, and I could not focus on seeing which ones were dirty and which ones weren't. I pushed a button to bring the last dish put into the incinerator back out. I put that one aside for recycling.

Then, when I woke up again, I stayed awake. I felt rested, so did not try to push any more sleep; when I do this, I wake up with a headache, especially after lucidity.

~

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier about dream sharing and deep sleep: I have found that when I wake up in the morning after a pretty decent amount of sleep during the night, I am more likely to become lucid from being awake for a little while; it stimulates my brain, and I am able to become lucid much more easily. However, there is a catch: I cannot hold the dream for as long as I would be able to if the dream occurred during the sleep I get at night when I am the most exhausted. When I become lucid during the night, I have much longer lucids and can perform more tasks, such as dream sharing, for example, though I have only dream shared a handful of times. At any rate, the dream quality is better, and I am less likely to wake prematurely. When I attempt things like this during the morning after I have already gotten plenty of sleep, it fails or I wake up. Usually both. So I decided not to attempt it this morning, because I knew I would wake up, and, of course, my morning lucidity was peppered with awakenings. It happens a lot for me in the mornings, but, like I said, this does not usually occur during the night, though I am less likely to become lucid during my nighttime dreams. I am hoping that I can find a way to improve this. I may try the WBTB method during the night, but when I wake up during the night, many times I have difficulty going back to sleep. If anyone has any advice, let me know.

1. I was inside school, in my ROTC class that I used to be in(Im not in it anymore). The class was very active and filled with many students. I was sitting down near the middle of a row of seats when I noticed this girl behind me that ive had a crush on. Her name is Lisbeth. I turned around in my seat and talked to her. I talked to her about what she was doing tonight and about the outfit I was wearing. For some reason I was wearing two pairs of slim jeans in the dream, one red pair, and one black pair. I was wearing the black over the red. I asked Lisbeth whether or not I should keep on the red only, or the black. She said to keep on the red. So, I got permission from one of the instructors to go to the restroom to change. I walked out and went into the nearest one. Once I got in, I simply took off my black jeans, and kept on my red ones. I walked back out, and into my class and sat back down. Me and Lisbeth talked some more. As I sat down in my seat I realized I was also wearing a red jacket, and I asked Lisbeth, "Imagine if my whole outfit was purple". And she said it'd look really cool. All of a sudden, my entire outfit turned purple, right before my eyes. I thought it was just my imagination so I didnt pay much attention to it. Just then, I had to leave, but I dont remember what for. However, when I came back to class for the 3rd time I went to go back to my seat, but one of Lisbeth's friends, Gabby, was sitting next to her. I decided to just go talk to them while standing up(I was trying to get this girls cell #). I then asked the two what they were doing tonight. They said they were going to some Bible/church event. At this point I didnt ask to go with them yet, but I planned on asking them later. After that, I went to the back of the class with these other girls. Oddly enough, in the back of the class, there was a HUGE cave system, and it was one of those water filled caves. I looked into it and saw a girl swimming towards me and the other girls. I said, "Hey guys, who's that coming over here." They all looked and said it was Savanna or something(her name started with an S for sure). Once she got to where we were, we all just chilled and talked. I remember looking out into the cave system and being amazed by its beauty. It was so vast, and water filled it up to the point where it was a pool. It looked like it extended for a mile or 2. Somehow the entire room we were in got completely emerged in water. When it did, I remembered that my phone was in my pocket and that it couldve got ruined. I took it out, and then I suddenly remembered that it was water proof(it was a galaxy s3, so it really wasnt). All of the girls were amazed and I showed them that it also worked underwater as well. There was a small air pocket near the ceiling, and my phone had some plastic piece on it that made it waterproof. This came off for a second so I quickly swam to the air pocket to reattach it to my phone. Once I finished that I came back down, but now the water was gone. And everyone was chilling in a room that resembled an aquarium, but the cave was still where it was. However, now a glass wall separated the class from it. Later on, I remember being somewhere else. I had left the class and was straight up wandering in a ghost city it seemed with my close friends- dylan, patrick, and trey. We were just walking around in this city and it was also an overcast day. I still had on my red slim jeans, but I had lost my belt when I took of my black ones. I walked into a big open room in the city somewhere and just sat there. My friend dylan came in with a huge stuffed old lady and kept making it to where she was dry humping my you know what. Disgusted by this I told dylan to stop although it was quite funny. He did and we left the room and continued wandering. We came to the middle of the city it seemed as it was crowded. There was a bank, a system of train tracks and alot more. We went to the second level of this building/area. It didnt have a roof, and people up there were just chilling smoking something. We went over to see what everyone was smoking, but I dont remember what it was now. My friend Dylan took a hit off of one group. I didnt because I had stopped smoking for a while(I dont care for it anymore). After that I went by myself downstairs to that bank. I went over and asked one of the ladies working there something, but I cant recall what I asked. The lady answered it though and told me to wait here while she reimbursed me. I walked around the bank and the lady came back. She couldnt see me so I quickly walked into the bank again where she noticed me and gave me 20 $. Since this was a reimbursement I realized I was only getting money back that I had paid the bank before. So I was thrilled for the money. I left the bank and wandered around some more. I came to some biker and we chilled and I got a free ride around the corner. Then I came across Lisbeth and Gabby again. I walked over to them and asked, "Hey do you guys mind if I come with you to that Church event thing?" They both laughed a little and said "sure". I was glad now that I got to chill with my crush, but I still had yet to get her number.

2. I was in my room inside of my house. I had just walked into my room and I entered to find Bob Marley just chilling on my bed with ALOT of weed. I was surprised. I said, "My god are you Bob Marley." He replied with a yes a we chilled. I turned on my xbox and we played it a bit. Some other guy joined us in the room and chilled. We all chilled for a while. I remember my sister coming into my room and taking my sub-woofer. Once I realized this, I went into her room and took it back and said, "Since you took it without asking, you cant borrow it." I went back into my room and the guys were still chilling, except for one thing, Bob Marley was now mexican and no longer black and he gained some weight. I realized that half of the weed that was on my bed was gone, and it was scattered all over my sheets. I decided it was time to clean it up and put it away for now so my parents wouldnt walk it and see it. I started grabbing the weed and I even stuffed some in my mouth(I know, nasty, but I was in a hurry. I put some in a white funnel for some reason and carried it over to my drawer. While doing so, a nat got in the funnel and I blew it out. I put the weed in my drawer and spit the weed in my mouth out as well. My bed was still very messy with thc crystals everywhere so I began thinking of how to clean it up without my parents noticing.

3. I was in some house that Ive never been in before. I was in a the shower room with two girls (lucky me) but we only made out, nothing more. But they were naked. Anyways, after that their dog walked into the room and I petted him for a little bit. I walked out of the room and did something else. I dont remember anymore.

Ive also found out that because I remember almost all of my most recent dream, its hard to remember the ones before it. But I will keep getting better.

So... I've been planning on posting new entries to my DJ here on DV, but I'm not quite sure where to start.
My dreams are one hell of a mess at the moment, and they're probably not much fun to read.
It seems like many of them are centered around hurting me one way or another.
Usually this is done through Faye, a recurring DC.
They're not nightmares though. Well, at least most of them aren't.
I usually catch those when they start and become lucid, allowing me either change or stop them.

Here's an example of what I'm talking about:

I'm hanging out with some waking-life friends.
We're at V's place, up in his attic, where he has set up a bar and a large couch to relax.
Overall I'm having a good time, but there's something making me somewhat uncomfortable.
There's a woman with us that I don't think I have seen before.
But everyone is acting as if we've all known each other for years.
In fact, at one point, she is telling a story about her and I getting into trouble
when we were on vacation together.

What? I don't remember this woman, and we were supposedly spending out holidays together?
What is going on?

We have a few drinks, discuss some things that I cannot recall, and end up talking about what everyone
is currently doing in their lives. It's mostly a discussion about what our expectations were a few years back,
about what we would be doing now, and how everything actually turned out.
It's my turn, and I walk about making video games, and that I am not quite certain how I am going to transition
from university life to working. I haven't fully decided exactly what I want to do yet, but I do know
roughly which direction I want to go.

The woman I do not know interrupts me, and starts saying hurtful things.
I don't remember exactly how she said it, but she was basically stating that I will never amount to anything.
I am shocked. I do not understand how one of my friends would ever say anything like that.
I have a good relationship with all of my friends, nobody would ever do this.
But for some reason it really hurts. To the point where I actually consider whether or not I am a failure as a person.

Fortunately, I slowly become aware of what is actually happening.
I am dreaming.
This is a dream.

I attempt to look at the facial expression of everyone, to see if they agreed with what the woman said.
But they are all gone. I find myself alone with this woman now.
She looks pleased with herself. She has accomplished what she wanted.

I try to elevate my level of awareness by thinking about my current situation.
There is some improvement. Enough to realize that the woman is Faye.

"Wipe that grin off your face"

I am pissed.
She keeps doing this lately and I absolutely hate it.
I decide to confront her about it.

"Why do you keep doing this?"
"You are doing this to yourself. Remember, I am a part of yourself"

I remember having confronted her before, and she said the exact same thing.
Why is she my dream guide again? Lately her influence on my dreams has been purely negative...



Here's another example, where she attempts to distract me (from lucidity):

I am walking through the city together with a friend of mine.
She's rushing from shop to shop, looking at all the things.
Despite the situation being so hectic, I become lucid.
I also quickly realize that the woman I'm with is Faye.
I immediately decide that I want to leave. There is nothing of interest in this dream scene.

I concentrate, trying to leave the current scene behind and go to Riven instead.
But Faye interrupts me. She grabs my hand and drags me away.
I tell her to leave me alone, but she won't listen.

I feel anger building up inside of myself.
She's done this a few times now, trying to break my lucidity.
And usually she succeeds...

"You're not going anywhere!"

My muscles tense up from anger.
Suddenly the buildings around me begin to collapse, seemingly as a reacting to tensing up my muscles.
It's an odd feeling.
First there is some guilt from destroying the buildings by accident.
But that quickly disappears once I understand that nobody was in these buildings.
After all this is a dream.

Unfortunately Faye is having none of it.
She takes control of the surrounding DC's and makes them yell at me.

"Why did you do this? Why did you kill those people?"

Things like that.
I eventually loose lucidity...


These dreams are quite frustrating.
But I think that I can fix this mess if I manage to reach a high level of lucidity.
By that I mean, if manage to think clearly within a lucid dream, and be aware of this goal,
which is difficult with this level of interference and distraction.
Still, I'm confident that I'll manage to fix it... hopefully soon.

7/18/14

Long day at the zoo. Didn't get much sleep the night before. Took a nap at ~7pm then woke up at 10pm. Went to bed for a little bit at 12am and just rested, but got up at around 12:30am to write a blog entry. Then went back to bed ~2am and woke up at 5:45am. DILD triggered.

5:45am DILD

Went to Japan. Became lucid when I saw a friend from school there and realized she's the one that's supposed to be in Japan. I let my husband lead me around. There were a lot of foreigners visiting Japan, one took a video of me walking around. I was confident as he took the video and didn't look at the camera. I recalled the research I read about there being more males in lucid dreams than females so I decided to say hi to a female passing by. I don't remember her response but it was friendly.

We finally came to these train tracks to go to Fukushima. I remembered my task and the advice given to me. I got in a train, which was too small for me, but went in anyways. Then I closed my eyes and called out for my mother-in-law and tried to imagine her house and being in it. But she didn't come.

I remember thinking I need to write this down in my DJ. I might've had a short FA in between. Then I went into a non-lucid dream of being in my mother-in-law's house. I was in Japan indefinitely, meaning the end of my stay was undetermined but it would be long. So I wasn't worried about having to go out shopping anytime soon. My husband woke me up because my alarm went off and I considered sleeping in until 6am. But then I realized I just had a DILD in Japan, so I got up, excited to record it.

Much of this dream consisted of my dead cat Merlin returning from the dead and me and my family feeding and petting him. A part of me realized it was odd seeing him again, but it wasn't enough to make me lucid.

My other cats acted more or less as they do in real life, though they seemed more civilized towards Merlin than they ever were in real life.

Midway through the dream, Merlin was duplicated, but there wasn't much change in petting and feeding them.

I had two dreams last night, I tried a FILD and a DEILD the first time I woke up, but it didn't work

First dream, I was in some sort of city and shopped with one of my school friends. I was soon in some sort of gift shops where they sold expired credit cards and one of my other friends was there and thought it was the coolest thing to buy expired credit cards that were years old, wrecked and pretty much useless. Then I was in some sort of plant shop and I don't know what happened.

Woke up, went back to bed


The second dream I was shopping at something like EB Games or JB-HI-FI and I had soon discovered that Nintendo was going out of business, all because of one game that entirety of the world didn't like. People were also migrating to higher tech consoles (that don't even exist yet). Next I was walking through a shopping centre and bumped into Fred and George Weasley (they've been in a lot of my dreams recently, they might be a new dreamsign). Then I woke up soon after that.

I woke up suspicious that this one was only a dream of a lucid dream, as my lucidity was very low level. But I did try to stabilize and I remembered my dream goals, so I'm going to count it.

I'm going down a dark stairway when I realize I'm dreaming. I immediately try to assess if it feels like reality or if it's just like watching a movie, and for a second it seems real, but then I think I notice a loss of stability. I examine my hands briefly. Again, they're all messed up.

I remember that stabilization technique didn't work for me last time and try to rub my hands over my forearms, really focusing on the tactile sensations. Unfortunately, the dream isn't really stabilizing (probably because I'm convinced it won't).

I decide to attempt my lucid goal in the hopes that that will stabilize things: tracking down a krispy kreme cheeseburger. I turn around "expecting" (but not really) that it will be behind me. Of course it's not. I then "expect" it will be behind the door at the top of the stairs. All of this is done with a fair amount of desperation, and soon the dream fades.

At this point I try spinning. Slow spinning doesn't work, so I try spinning faster. I think I see glimpses of a room but at this point my memory gives out.

Anyone have any advice on stabilization? I'm guessing it's all just emotional control at this point, but it's so hard to remember in the moment...

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

I am sitting on a porch and looking around the houses talking to a person I never knew, that's when a kid I knew came and ask how was I? I said I was alright and told him what was his last trip since I been gone? He doesn't answer and decides to walk away. That's when I wake up and was surprise to see Father there, he had the TV on and was brushing his teeth. I went in the bathroom and turn on the lights wondering he's suppose to be gone as I came out I ask my Father may I stay in this room a bit longer however he said no it was best I leave soon. I began saying this isn't right I must be dreaming I went over to the window to see that the sun is beginning to set , my Father tells me to get a grip on reality. I told him am I dreaming? My Father told me no. I look at my hands and saw my fingers were small and large at the same time. That's when I left Fathers room in to the living room and saw my brother and mother sitting down talking. I approach my brother asking how did he came back this soon? My brother look at me but did not respond I was going to ask him again but felt as if something was covering my mouth. That's when I woke up and became lucid but it was dark there was no lights on, my head felt like it was going to explode as I felt all these vibrations racing back and forth. I got up and started floating but couldn't handle all the pulsing in my head so I started clutching myself and felt the urge to scream as I feel my feet crumbling I yelled very loudly which I woke up again. This time I lost lucidity and tried to search for my journal to write this dream down however for some reason I couldn't find it. I began becoming semi lucid where I began wondering if this was a dream again, I end up getting a pill from the bathroom and look around to see if everything look normal. It was morning so I went in the kitchen surprise to see all the lights were on as I went in the kitchen began feeling sick and truly woke up. Lucidity Time : 7 seconds

I'm walking out of Dad's house, wearing my work uniform, to my car that is parked almost in the middle of the street. I get in and start driving up Lakeside to get to work.
The road is steeper and windier than I remember. I see pine trees and lots of big, granite rocks. There are also tons of moose roaming around. I see the silhouette of one by a tall rock and tree. It is surreal.
The road has ended and I am now walking on a dirt road. Dad is with me, saying how this is a more direct route to my mom's house.
We're approaching the top of the hill and im texting either C or F about how I'm going to see Frozen.
We get to a house and I climb up through the entrance. I hear a voice talking about 'how babies are made'.
There's boys room and a girl's room; I go into the boys. My grandpa and a young boy are laying on a large bed. My sister is here, complaining about how she wants to stay with me but can't. She leaves.
I lay down but feel that my shorts are damp, like I've been swimming, and I want to change them.

I'm in a large park with grass and playground equipment.
Two other darker-skinned guys are here. One is fat and short, the other is just the opposite.
I do not know them, but we are running around, wearing baseball gloves, throwing tennis balls at eachother.
It seems like they can never miss me and like I can never hit them.
This goes on for a while.
Now, I'm at the grassy area, and it is dark out.
A fair or something is going on.
I'm in a large, enclosed bounce house with a lot of guys, all Hispanic.
Some guys are holding the entrance closed, and were having fun trying to escape.
I say "I need some white friends" and a lot of them laugh.
We finally get out and I walk away, counting a handful of change.

July 17, 2014

---

Math Test and Hot Dogs

I was taking a math test at the elementary school... I hadn't studied at all and had been dozing off too much in class, so I was completely unprepared. During the lesson, my back and neck were hurting, and so I was doing contortions, bending back in my chair so my forehead touched the ground, making my toes touch my head under the desk. One of my classmates and some random weird guy noticed and started staring at me. During the break just before the test, I went outside and started walking around. I saw one of my old friends with a girl, and they were holding hands. I followed them for a little bit, but then had to go back inside for the test; I almost got locked out because I didn't have my school ID to swipe at the lock (even though it wouldn't work IRL anyways lol). But there was someone going in right behind me, and they warned me to bring the card next time.

As I reached my seat, my teacher, Tim, was saying something about how we were all a team, and so we couldn't start until everyone was there. At first I thought he was referring to me, but then I noticed a few other people were missing, too. They had gone outside, too. About five minutes later, they came in and apologized; they had gotten locked out, as well. It seemed like all of our student ID cards were out of date now, or had been turned off somehow.

Tim passed out the test and we all took it. I don't remember actually taking it, but I remember turning it in and then going back outside. I walked around the school more, and saw the friend and his girl from before, and followed them some more. I called him over at some point, and talked to him for a bit, and then someone called the girl over, so they were split for a while. I took my friend and walked around with him because I had a crush on him. I almost kissed him, but decided not to, because he'd looked happy with that other girl. I told him to wait somewhere and went to find his girl, and told her where he was waiting for her.

Suddenly it was very snowy. I think the dream was blending into a different one, because the location was different, but I saw a fire hydrant on a corner that I'd seen on the first walk-around, before the test. I went to inspect it, as it was now covered in snow, and realized it wasn't a fire hydrant anymore. It was a group of about 7 people all huddled under a tarp or burlap of some sort, which was piling up with snow, faster than would ever be natural. They all looked out at me, and I asked them why they were under the tarp. The main supporter of the tarp said they were experimenting with something, and I turned away.

I was now on a pedestrian mall. The people under the tarp had walked away, leaving a bare spot of pavement which soon got completely covered with snow, as if they had never been there. The row of shops behind me all looked rather antique. I heard a honk, and looked up; my mom and dad were there to pick me up, and I waved and smiled, having expected them. I was now fully in the other dream. The snow fell and the wind howled. It was a blizzard.

I got into the car, and shook off my hair, even though no snow had accumulated on me, oddly. I peered over at where I'd been standing, and saw an old, crotchety man come out of the building directly behind where I'd been. He wasn't wearing much, just pants and an undershirt, but he didn't seem to be cold, even through the blizzard. A passing man in a thick coat threw a pack of papers unceremoniously at the crotchety man's door; a delivery. The man grumbled and picked up the papers, walking up and down the street a bit and complaining to the wind and snow and buildings, anything that would listen.

My dad started driving, and commented on how bad the weather was. I scoffed and said, "Oh, this is nothing."

After a few more blocks, dad continued, "Oh, and we just bought a Fridge. A round fridge."
"What...?"
"For the hot dog place." Mom said.
"Again, what are you talking about...?"
Dad explained: "We bought an old hot dog establishment. It was the original in a small local chain, but closed years and years ago. The location's perfect, though." So they were going to restart this hot dog place...

We turned right, and as we drove, the weather gradually got more summery, and it also got slightly darker. We arrived at the Hot Dog Place and got out of the car to meet some family friends. By now, it was almost sunset and comfortably warm, but not too hot. The storefront was round, and the building was looking pretty neglected. Mom and dad had a lot of work to do here. The round fridge was neatly in a corner inside, all shiny and new amidst all the dilapidation.

We all went on a walk, heading along a road parallel with the beach (did I forget to mention this was fairly close to a shore-line?). Not too far from the Hot Dog Place, I saw a huuuuuuge colorful sphere. It was a huge 3D trampoline-type thing with tunnels and whatnot. There were basically two spheres; and inner sphere and an outer sphere, and between the two spheres was a series of tunnels and obstacles. I wanted to play on it so fudging badly. I asked mom and dad if it was alright if I left them, and they thought it would be fine, since they weren't going much further anyways. I scrambled into the giant, rainbow sphere, and so did the daughter of my parents' family friends. She stays near the entrance, a little more tentative than I am; I am already climbing up to a tunnel entrance near the very top of the sphere. I notice that the walls are a bit elastic, and hold onto the wall while pushing off and up from it. I grab onto a handle at the very peak of the sphere, and start to bounce between the two spots I was holding onto. I looked down, and then let go of the wall, pushing off from the very top. I just barely reach the bottom of the sphere, and grab a handle there, as well. So now I am bouncing between the top and bottom of the sphere, and it's great fun, but I soon level out a little below the center of the sphere. I was a little scared to let go of the top because it was such a large sphere that I was fairly high up, but I also didn't want to let go of the bottom and be stuck at the very top, so I let go and bounced off the bottom a few times before settling. I asked the other girl if it was possible to rent one of these things for an event or something, and she said "maybe, but probably not one this big."




Sex Tape

I was with my aunt, in my Oma's basement; we were watching a youtube video on the TV downstairs. The video was basically a sex tape starring one of my friends from a class last year.




Scandal

I was with my cohort at a Botanical Garden/Water-Park/Hands On Museum for Adults (a place I've dreamed of before). They were having a special night for to-be-teachers, with a free open bar. So we were all drinking and such. Things got really... interesting. In my dream, D (the only guy in the cohort) brought his girlfriend, who was faceless, and I was so jealous of her. I kept hanging around D and getting him more drinks and such. At some point, he wanted me to take his camera and take a picture of him doing something or other. I thought I took three pictures, and told him, but he only saw two, and so we were sitting next to each other at a table, and he was leaning on me, showing me the camera and how there were only the two pictures. I was feeling very victorious, but then he got up and started hugging his girlfriend. I was going to try to hook up with him anyways. I was so bad.

I'm walking into a school with a group of kids. It was raining outside, and a guy is talking about how Jesus made it happen. I get irritated and say loudly "the water cycle!"'
We all sit down.
An old friend, S , is here; she sits at the desk by me.
We now get separated into 2 groups for a game. The groups are the 'bible believers' and the 'nonbelievers'. As a surprise to me, and everyone else, I end up in the believers group. I think that it won't be bad, since I probably know just as much as the believers. An ex's brother is my group. I tell him he knows a lot about the bible and he laughs.
We are now at a dark baseball diamond, sitting against the cage, playing the same game.
The group goes somewhere - into town.
I, and 2-3 others, veer off from the group, down a little alley with shops on the sides. We enter a building. The building is dimly lit, quiet, empty, and impeccably clean. Shelves, boxes, and containers of candy, any candy you can imagine, fill up the walls and counters of both rooms. It's set up like a buffet, but with sweets.
I admire the candy, but tell the Asian woman behind the counter that I don't need any. She tells us to have a nice day and we leave.
Outside, I find myself alone and at a river. I try to cross the river, holding my shirt above my head while I swim with only my feet. The current catches me, but I grab ahold of a rock.
I see a figure under the water with his hand outstretched. I grab him and pull him up; it is my old friend, K. We get out and start walking along an empty road towards a lone building. There is a urinal built into the outside of the building. We talk about that.

Recorded at 8:50am

I'm at Blaxland house and I'm awoken by friends. We're in the lounge room talking.

I'm now in a car park with Dad and others. We're parked far away from where the main entrance. A girl comes up to us and encourages us to follow. We follow and she acts a bit strange. Seems to be falling over often. Game of thrones?

I'm at Rodney's house but it's not his. We're all in the lounge room watching TV. I see Rodney on the couch and the ladies at the dining table. I see DVDs on top of the TV.

I walk around for a minuet and see a mix of peanuts. Rodney had honey macadamias next to him.

Rodney asks what I got up to this morning. I tell him that I got up, felt pretty groggy, noticed the fellas were over, didn't talk much due to being so groggy.

Side notes

Dreams have been hard to remember. Which may be due do stopping my auto suggestion before bed or because I haven't been feeling the best as of late due to distilled water detoxing.

((I'd advise not looking this up if you don't want sort of Season 3/4 Spoilers! I thought I would post this as an example of the kinds of panic-ridden dreams I have on a semi-regular basis; I had never had a nightmare that felt as vivid as this, though I never became lucid.))

21st June 2014:

Tonight's dream was particularly unpleasant. I am writing this a lot later than when it actually happened, but I still remember the basics. In this dream I was Reek, from Game of Thrones, not Theon, but Reek. Luckily, though, I still had my manhood. For some reason, Ramsay Snow had taken me to a museum, a huge, grand place, with beige marble steps leading to its glorious entrance; inside were high domed ceilings, and esteemed works of art; everything was the same marbled beige, with a hint of orange; it was a very regal colour, I thought. I was led along by Ramsay by a chain on my neck, and once the brief tour was concluded, which I actually saw little of in the dream, I was thanked for my obedience, and Ramsay said that there would be a reward for me when I got back, to which I replied "Thank you, master." meekly. As we went outside back onto the cliff, which somehow floated in the air like something out of Avatar (yet it had none of the lush vegetation, only short green grass and steep, grey, rocky sides that formed a point beneath the landmass, like a floating pinnacle), I realised that a rescue attempt had been staged by Brienne of Tarth, Asha Greyjoy and what appeared to be an identical twin of Theon. I don't recall what happened to Brienne or Asha, but I know that the clone of Theon was knocked off the cliff (by an arrow to the chest, I think), which he fell from wordlessly, and I did not see him again. I knew I could not allow myself to show my dismay to Ramsay, or he might think me disloyal, so we continued back to where we were intending to go; I don't know how we got off the floating cliff, though.

In the next scene, I was sitting hunched up beneath in a tight corridor surrounded by mesh fences; the floors were made of a rough, splintery looking wood, and behind the mesh fences there didn't seem to be anything, so I can only assume that they were spacious holding cells, or maybe they were just there to make the corridor uncomfortably narrow. Set into this corridor was a huge iron door, locked and bolted, but I think I could hear screams coming from inside. Ramsay spoke to me threateningly about my "reward", his sadistic half-smile on his face. I insisted pathetically that I was loyal and that he promised he wouldn't hurt me, but I knew then that I had been wrong. I knew that something terrible was happening to the man behind that door, and that I was next. I knew that he was going to chop my manhood off. I had no choice but to run. I sprinted through the cramped corridors as fast as I could, and felt the exasperation as I had to squeeze through narrow openings, through tight walls of spikes and rollers lined with the same sharp implements; every time I had to cross such an obstacle, Ramsay caught up with me a little more, but I kept going, and going, and going. I came to a large marble staircase, sensing that I had reached the less shabby part of the castle, nearing freedom. I bumped into a wiry, frumpish serving woman in sweeping skirts, with her white and grey hair tied into a neat bun. I began to cry weakly for help as I neared the exit, until finally I emerged out into the daylight, or at least I think it was day; I don't quite remember. I stopped the first man I saw, a smart looking gentleman with a fine moustache and a posh Southern (British) accent that suggested lordliness. I rambled that Lord Ramsay was evil, that he was going to chop off my manhood, that he had to alert the authorities, that he must do something, but the man seemed positively nonplussed by my desperate pleas for help, and simply said: "I can't help you there. Lord Ramsay can do as he likes." I should mention that outside, the exterior of the castle where I had been kept looked very much like the rocky, barren land that had covered the floating museum-cliff.

Seeing no other option, I ran until somehow, I ended up on the main high street of my city. I began to feel hopeful; I was losing Lord Ramsay, but perhaps one of his lackeys would catch me; no doubt he'd have them combing the area for me. I had never felt so desperate in a dream before, and I felt my real life disability setting in (I walk with a limp), yet I continued running, panting raggedly. Then, my legs gave out, and I fell to my knees, still I kept moving, crawling along the ground in a desperate struggle for freedom; if I could reach the statue of St. George and the Dragon a short distance away (even though it was in the wrong place in the city during this dream) I knew I might be further away. As I had been running down the street, I had glimpsed Lord Ramsay, and heard him shouting "Reek! Reek!" which only enhanced my desperation. It was then that my legs had given out. I must have been running for what felt like 20 minutes.

I managed to reach the monument, only to be stopped by Jaime (an old school friend of mine, surname omitted. ); he had apparently become an agent of Lord Ramsay's, and he said in a matter-of-fact tone: "Sorry Reek, but I'm going to have to take you back." I felt angry and betrayed, and swung at him, having managed to stand up, but all the strength had gone out of my arms. I knew that it was useless to resist, and that Lord Ramsay would take me back to the Dreadfort. It was only then that I woke up, agitated, but also relieved.

7/17/14

Last night bed 12:30am - 9am WBTB 9-10:10

Cats were calm, so after breakfast and 1 hr spent on DV and IRC, I got on my sofa in more sitting than laying down position. I started feeling my body falling asleep withing 5-10 min. I knew it's gonna be a great attempt, because of my great recall from the night, and also because I wanted it.

LDs

Don't really remember how it started, but it lasted about 25 min. Then I "woke up", wrote some keywords down and went back to sleep, I think lucid again. But as I was writing it down, I realized I'm still asleep, because even if the paper DJ and my pen were exactly what I had prepared for that occasion, my writing was "drunk sloppy" and I recognized it.

I'm underground again. Large rooms, all well lit. Almost looks like inside of IKEA. No windows, bunch of large rooms, and bunch of people milling around. I'm already lucid. So I do what I practiced while falling asleep. TOTM - I jump in the middle of people and yell: Look everybody, LOOK. I'm getting naked.

Crowd of guys tighten around me and I feel some touches. I started to fiddle with my top, when I remembered practicing having just a simple T-shirt on. So I took of my polo shirt. Wut? A bra? Didn't practice this, dangit. But no problem, quick unhook and girls are free.

Don't remember what was on the bottom, but off it goes.

By now crowd has thinned and some had turned away, going about their business. I'm thinking bloody hell, I don't just need to get naked, but I need your reaction. So I jump up and yell: What yo guys think? Some are still looking, but most had turned and left.

So I grab one of them, push him against the wall and have my way with him. I dont stop till happy ending.

I do the undressing one more time in another room, because I want a reaction out of them, but again, all they do is act uninterested.

But there is a table with some feast. Looks like I came late, because all is left is one piece of something that looks like small flat round candle. I pick it up thinking that this will do as a sweet cake junk food. I take a bite and stuff it in my mouth, cause I need to eat a LOT of junk food. By then it tastes sugary and not that bad.

To the left, there are some pastry/pizza looking things. Never seen them before. I'm thinking they are sweet, but as I stuff some of it in my mouth, it's savory, but next piece is sweet again. I forget to note people's reaction here.

I walk away, thinking how to make it more vivid and last longer, so I clap my hands and yell: I-am-lucid-I-am-lucid.

I think it's time to find a window and get out. I see one, and behind it is my balcony. I walk through the tall glass, only to end up in another room with same window to same balcony. I'm thinking c'moon, this time I walk outside for sure.

And I do. I step off the balcony, so happy to outside of the building. I'm falling to the ground when I remember I'm not that good at flying, but thinking that yes, I'm am good at flying, just so I start flying ok. It's taking me to the left, but I'm thinking I should fly to the right this time, towards the town. But no, I speed up and go really fast in the night sky.

There are no features, only black night sky. I'm getting worried that no features to look at will wake me up. Then I see something faint in the distance. Like a slightly glowing trail. I turn more right and start following it. I see bunch of dots, like you see sometimes in a video game when looking at something in a distance. I'm thinking too bad, that these boulders in comets tail are not looking real. Then I start seeing them as boulders that are turning slowly around their different axes as they are being left behing by the comet. When I look at it from distance, I sear I can hear the same sound that you can hear at the beginning credits of star trek voyager, when they fly over some stoney rings of some planet.


This was some kind of a non-lucid with some awareness : dunno :

I'm at work. Standing at the cashiers, helping out. Another coworker says something about my boobs, and adds: That's because you are a lesbo. I feeze, thinking, finally, you bitch, I got ya now. You were just mean till now, but now the company is gonna deal with you. So I ask her all "offended" : what did you say? Making sure eeeeverybody notices.

Then my higher manager asks me to go with him. We go to some back room, that's barely lit and looks like a cave, or old mine. He/she tells me to grab a flyer from a rack. Not the "boobs" flyer, coz we already covered that one in last session : wtf:, but another one.

I'm left there alone sitting in a chair, all sleepy and tired. barely any lights are on and room is huge and black walls are not making it any brighter. I'm thinking if anybody wanted to come here and rape me, that would no surprise me, coz the darkness and remotness of the place. But i think hell no, that ain't happening and prepare myself mentally for a fight, and also walk to the adjacent room and put some lights on.