All DJ Entries

I’m at what looks like Basecamp with someone else - Makayla? This space seems a little more open and the floors look harder than the usual padding. I’m in my street shoes but I still step up to try a problem. The holds are blue, the small one after the starting hold quite a ways away. I attempt it not expecting to get far at all and end up sticking the first move. I do lose my grip and swing off after holding it for a few seconds.

I’m at some club (I don’t ever see its name, but I think it’s One Up). I’m with some others, but I’m not sure who. At the entrance I give the bouncer my ID, though it seems like he wasn’t going to ask for it. We are the only ones in here. The space is small and each wall is an overwhelming LCD display of moving neon, psychedelic patterns. There is talk of going to get high and I think I’ll join, imagining how the walls will look. Outside now, it looks like a bland strip mall and I see someone familiar. He is moving some doors. I go over to help him, screwing two doors together and screwing the bottom of the door? After I finish, I realize I’ve done it backwards, so I tell him I’ll have to start over. It seems like he is waiting on me.

I’m outside somewhere, maybe an apartment complex. I have Stella with me and notice a couple with a dog approaching. It looks like a black border collie and I recognize it as a dog Stella has seen several times but hasn’t been able to meet. Stella notices the dog, but the couple keeps approaching. The man, shirtless and fit, wearing sunglasses and a stoic expression, asks if he can ask me something. I say yes and then ask if our dogs can meet because they’re so close right now and haven’t gotten to meet. He amicably says yes and I explain that she gets frustrated when she’s on leash and can’t meet other dogs. Their dog, what now looks like a retriever, sits by me and playfully chews on my fingers. I clearly feel its sharp little teeth. Stella is very close but is largely ignoring the dog. Now one of them jumps to his back and he catches it with his hands behind his back. He never asks me what he was going to.



I’m walking into a building, a restaurant or something similar. I’m also a woman or dressed as one. I have on a light blonde wig that is not very convincing. I think I also have women’s clothes on. There is attention on me as I walk through to the restroom; I’m aware that I don’t fully look like a woman and stand out to judgmental people but don’t really care. I walk with confidence. There’s a small 90 degree hallway into the restroom, the floor of which is very cluttered with what looks like green foam blocks. They’re hard to get around and I think of what a hazard/liability they are. In the restroom now, the urinals are taken and 2-3 people are waiting. (I went into the men’s, slightly unsure, because I think I still have a penis). I notice two stereotypical straight white men who I know are going to throw a fit about me being in here.

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Some fragment about eating Thai chili peppers but they taste sweet even when dipped in salsa.

I am with my son at a football game. There is some younger woman annoyingly close to me on the other side. It's awkward but I remain polite and try to ignore it.
There is somehow a commercial playing on the field and we get bored. We can see the night sky. There is a meteor shower happening at an incredible rate. I point it out to my son. Then the sky lights up like daytime. I say something about how it was dark just a moment ago. The sun must have been blocked somehow. Then I see the sun moving way to fast and it's dark again within seconds. I say wait a minute something is very wrong. I ask if this is a dream. I think about doing a RC but no I say out loud. THIS IS A DREAM (very old dream sign).

I float up in the air. I see the woman below and think about doing something to her but I decide to leave it alone. I am now in a version of a bedroom from our previous house. I float to the next room. I see baby Clara in a high chair. Not knowing what else to do I play along. Hey Clara do you want out. She speaks very well and "says yes I do". I laugh at bit... she's only one year old in waking life. I ask her to say her name. It come out as Twara. I laugh some more. I ask her if she wants some breakfast and what she wants but she's becomes less and less responsive. I wonder into the kitchen but I get to wrapped up in finding food that I lose the dream and wake up.

mishmash from the last several nights:

+ tried out a (male organ) extension kit that involved tubes and splicing in "extra segments," it really worked, wanted to try out "the new me" with the wife, thought that all the extra tubing though would get in the way and be cold on her skin if it touched her. Definitely longer and wider with this kit, I'm impressed with the results.

+ [LD #265 DILDD] observing demonstration, I'm standing at the railing of a high balcony area overlooking a lower (15 feet) large open paved area, looking down, there are people walking around waving a flag, they call a question to me but I'm not sure how to answer. I feel a tugging at my pocket and immediately grab my pocket where my wallet is, in doing so I grab the han of a kid which is reaching in to my pocket I think to steal my wallet. I back away from the railing still grasping my wallet through my pants, I can't open my hand to get a better grip because I'm afraid I'll lose my wallet, and call out "HELP!".

I walk through some rooms, fairly richly furnished, wood paneled walls, look out the window to see the people in the parade/festival, look to see if there are any hot chicks there, see some, wish I had more privacy.

Walking through the people outside, there is a bunch of them gathered at one point, I try to move through the group but a man shifts his position blocking my path, so I have to go around. I notice a woman prostate on the ground with (her daughter?) riding her on her back. I move forwards.

For no particular reason (I feel completely awake) I do a nose pinch, and do a double take because some air leaked out. It wasn't the usually completely free flowing of air, but I know that any air at all is a dream sign, I try again with a similar non-definitive "stuffy nose" result. I decide to test gravity by jumping up, and indeed I am a bit slow in returning to the ground so immediately determine that I'm dreaming. I turn around and head back along the path I was walking, as aI wanted some "fun" encounters with the ladies I had passed earlier. I soon come across one dressed all in green [?], engage a bit with her, her face/body are distorted. I jump up to phase through the ceiling, get a little bit stuck but make it through, and I'm in a large sterile corridor of some large building. I look into one of the rooms I find and it is a sort of staff break room with vending machines and billiards tables. I decide to try out some elemental control so try to shoot out lightning from my hands against a wall, the effect is weak but definitely something is there. I will it to be more lightning-shaped (it was more like straight grey line segments), then I say "be yellow" and a tinge of yellow worked its way into the coloring.

There is a DC enemy that I need to fight, so I belt-summon my lightsaber and turn it on, I'm a bit surprised that the blade comes out a jet flat black color. I swing it through the DC imagining that it's slicing him to bits but as usually I seem to meet absolutely no resistance and it seems not to be doing him any damage. We go back and forth (he's on a flying Green Goblin-like scooter/board?) for a while, then I turn to make a run for it along a roadway over a fence, frequently looking backwards to see if he's still following, I think he probably still is...


+ (dark/night) checking out the smashed wing windows of some cars, there were small, sometimes triangular shaped breakage patterns on the glass

+ riding elevator in large building, someone else is in there with me, the elevator tilts fairly steeply to the left (30 degrees) for a moment and I feel us moving sideways. I explain this to the other passenger as being the horizontal movement of the elevator from side vertical shafts into the cental main vertical shafts, and think / say that this is a very efficient way to manage the limited space of the vertical shafts. It's fairly dark in the elevator. This happens a couple more times, then with a large jerk we're ejected from the building backwards into the air high above the ground, and begin orbiting the building. We're being swung around wildly like an amusement park attraction. I'm fairly nervous about this. I can hear the yells from the car near to us, they're enjoying the ride, hooting and hollering things like Oh, Yeah!" and "Woohoo!". I wonder what is holding us in the air, at first I think it's nothing, but I look outside the window and see a very thin and weak-looking wire attached to the elevator car running back in the direction of the building. The whole thing is like one of those "multiple wheel ferrous wheel" like this:



Suddenly I'm on the ground, looking at some scraggly cats with someone else. (I see a stack of old line printer printout?). I walk back to the base of the tower, to an elevator, this elevator is to the (apple? oak?) area which is not where I want to go, a young couple gets on, I go around to the other side of the building, and there's another young couple that jusut wants to make out and they move back around a corner for privacy.

+ a priest is using a holy hammer (large, like a maul) to stamp symbols onto some (famous) blessed mushrooms growing miraculously between boulders

+ walking along the shore of a clear-watered lake, looking into the rocky shallows and see crayfish scuttling around [dreamsign]

+ [f] need to ride an airplane home, visiting someone in a large industrial workshop

Oh no?

Dream I went to find Jamie, wound up in some Toronto like apartment. A friend of her's said Jamie had gone away recently when she "Slipped into a coma." I meant to ask then if that meant Jamie Had died?

FA I'm Jamie and All i can see is my legs and water. with little spots of blood in the water.

woke up for real and was real concerned. I know I've dreamt things about her before that turned out to be true. Jamie, if you read these and planning on leaving this world please see me first in Jesus' name...

Family

Was visiting family and we were in a car? I was sicka nd started snotting everywhere . My family kept getting mad because I was sick. I was upset because I couldn't help it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Staying with my mom at her house. For some reason we're sharing her bed. It is already uncomfortable and then I find that she has small stones and cristals under the sheets, for healing. They just hurt like hell. I remove all of it and clean the bed.
Then my mom is no longer with me, supposedly she died. Someone comes over to talk about my inheritamce. I say there isn't much to inherit, just the house and her clothes. They suggest there is something more and that I have to find her will before someone else does. I don't get it, but I do find some letter in a drawer. Other people arrive, I hide it.

I am attending college and currently working on an urgent work for the Portuguese class. I think I have enough time to finish my part, about 2 weeks, but turns out I hugely miscalculated the amount of work I still have to do. I have been procrastinating and the teacher reminds me how crucial that work is and I realize how late I am compared to my colleagues. I am still studying the sources and started witing one page. I find that my colleagues are actually mostly working in groups and I join one that I had supposedly previously left. Ana S. is in the group and I feel she is a bit suspicious at first about me wanting to redeem myself, but then she accepts me back in the group. The paper we are putting together is about some historical issue and then needs to be translated into a theathre play. I have a secondary role as a beautiful maid which marries a lord and gains power.
Finally comes the day of presenting the paper and the concept of the play to the teacher. Everyone is in costume and I look in the mirror to see mine. I don't just look like myself in an outfit, I am actually a different girl. Also fair skinned with big dark eyes but my hair is black, long and curly. The room has couches scattered and we sit on them as the group leader introduces our work to the teacher. Some colleague then turns on a tv and shows a video, but it has no sound. I come closer to the tv to try to fix it and then accidentsly look through a window to my right. There is a hill going down until a small town on the valley. There is a rumble and what seems like an explosion and a cloud of dust spreads up in the air above it. Everybody in the room hears and sees it and runs to take cover behind or under something. The shock wave hits us and the dust cloud is expanding rapidly towards us. At first I think it is a volcanic eruption, but then I go look again and I notice that the space is distorted. The city did not blow up and instead is divifing and multiplying, like a cell. I notice the air seems distorted around it, like a gravitational anomaly. It seems to have opened a space-time breach beause then I see more people wearing old time clothes and riding horses and some old school war going on. It seems as if the time about which we were making our presentation, caught up with us and now we're geting involved in whatever war that is going on. I see a bunch of men on horseback coming towards us. Some of us go hide and others say since we are wearing epoch appropriate clothing, we should just mingle and see what happens. I am not so sure. I get some binoculars and observe the men coming. I see a pile of bodies of dead villagers they left behind in the valley. I feel horrified and feel they'll do the same to us. The others don't listen to me, they just stay behind and wait. I decide to run the opposite direction and just hide somewhere. As I start running, I wake up with a dog howling outside.

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Failed dream stabilization in DILD
I am on my way home, carrying groceries on the sidewalk of the quiet street passing by the house I live in on a cloudy day with a darker lighting of the environment suggesting that the time of day is soon to be or already is dusk. I'm not sure if my mother is with me, but she could be. Suddenly, I become lucid. It might have been a random thought about lucidity which triggered this. But I immediately start slipping out of the dream but try to rub my hands and to look at them to stabilize the dream, but I am already on the threshold of waking up, strangely controlling both my dream and real body at once, but apparently my stabilization attempt soon failed and I find myself having waken up.

---

I got too stressed to journal again. I'll probably continue for real once summer holidays come around in nearly exactly a month.

I actually chanted a mantra and used a special thought technique I can't really explain to kind of bypass the way you'd usually have this only incubate a fake lucid dream instead of actually causing awareness, and I guess it worked. It's like I went "behind" the normal thought? Only I really know what I'm talking about with that, I guess, at least I hope at least I will if I rediscover this some time. Nobody ever understood the way I explained how my brain worked. People tend to think these are metaphors, but I feel like I physically navigate my thoughts. While that's not what happens, of course, that's the input I'm getting and doing the same "movement" produces consistent results. It's weird like that. Also, I'm tired so I'm rambling about this, probably mostly as a big note to self so that I can reproduce this, since this is the first time a technique just straight up worked first try to that extent.

I do wonder why the stabilization didn't work, though. And I tend to always find myself kind of "blind" in dreams, I've noticed that here as well. It's like my whole vision is covered by a blind spot, like how your thumb disappears if you move it into the right location, it makes it hard to stay in a dream. I feel like I only know some of the visual information because I just kind of know without seeing it, and that's annoying me. But I can't say reality is a whole lot different, honestly. My perception is always weirdly "blind" like that, like a very insidious form of tunnel vision. Enough rambling now. I still think this was probably the closest I've ever gotten to stabilize a lucid dream, so overall, this was a success. Good.

It's been a while since my last success. This is mostly due to my sleep schedule going to shit, but I'm getting back into it. Man, even though I understand WILD enough to actually use it, it's still so hard for me. It'll get easier with time, sure, but I can't wait for the day I no longer have to do attempts just to get lucid.

Anyway, I've come to a new understanding as far as stabilization is concerned. What I feel I've been taught is happening is that by stimulating your senses, you are stabilizing the dream. I now feel like you are stabilizing yourself within the dream rather than the dream itself. I say this because I've been reflecting on my previous Lucids, and I noticed something interesting about my last one. I described the dream as Vivid but also Not Vivid. I described it this way because while the dream was visually clear enough to get me to double take, (vivid) I still felt like my other senses were dull.(non vivid) This would suggest that the dream itself was fine; it was I that was unstable.

This would also make sense because people sometimes describe the process as Grounding themselves, or Deepening. It's now my understanding that stabilizing is just part of a larger activity: immersing yourself within the dream world. Stimulating your senses helps you become immersed because you're interacting with the things of the dream, deepening your connection to it, kinda like a WIFI signal. With a stronger connection, you can do more things, and you feel your real body less and less.

This distinction is important to me because I was always looking for some kind of notification from the dream that it was stable when that was never going to happen. It makes more sense to me that it's your connection to the dream that must be strengthened, and this is why you do things to stimulate your senses. But there is one way of stabilizing that is kind of weird: just shouting "stabilization" or something like that. Why does that work for some people? My guess is that it's a dream control thing.

Anyway, I'm still hard at work trying to get WILD to work for me. I keep falling asleep :/

allweek only 2 dreams about jamie.first Iam looking for her but I can't find her or she was there and not talking to me. 2nd dream she is sweet talking a boyfriend that is a lot like me but isn't me, like a chubby much more cringey me? idk. either way I'm not happy with any of these dreams..

2022 May 9th

Some in-line notes.

7:50
Fragment:
(woke up sweating, vivid long dream)
Some build-up or something; there are aliens and we are fighting them off as a whole, but only just barely so. It's revealed these aliens are just a scouting party and they are part of a larger conglomerate of alien species. During the dream I see several different scenes just as an observer.

Meanwhile, there's chaos as a human leader, a woman with short hair, declares that nobody has rights anymore, and that we are moving into a new era beyond our conventional conception of rights. She sounds or seems delusional in some way. I think I saw her give this announcement on some TV thing, but just as an observer.

Then I'm in a town, outside. There's a modern feel to the area and the previous announcement had been broadcast on the radio, though I didn't hear this myself as a character.

There's an RPG element to reality but it feels absolutely real in every other way.

I survive an attack and fight my way into some place. I am constantly chased by aliens or possibly their machines. Eventually, I use some fast-travel mechanic. Once at my destination, I meet up with a friendly robot. It explains that this worm thing has moved to the edge of reality, it looks like a Combine alien. (In retrospect this whole bit makes me think of the original Dune film)

Normally, reality moves independently of what's in it. But being at the edge curves reality and causes this high pitch noise to be heard throughout the entire dream. And now, in it's current state, reality moves with the contents. This means there's a very big danger to existence itself and all this chaos makes it worse to deal with. (This segment made no sense at all after waking, but during the dream everything seemed to make sense; there were implied laws of reality that were taken for granted and the whole thing had a semi-mystical aspect to it)

10:15
Fragment:
(most of recall lost for needing to answer door)

In one bit, I'm this woman, a diver, and I'm coming out of some water into a house or apartment through the floor. It's night time or the house is dark, some lights are on. I'm sort of on the floor, tummy down. A TV is in front of me. I think to myself, "am I actually myself?" and then, just as I'm about to do a reality check with my hands, this other woman with curly hair comes out of a doorframe, smiles at me and we start talking. We know each other as characters. At this point I think to myself that I like her body. I still try to do the reality check, but because of the conversation and social setting, I end up not focusing enough on my reality check.

I’m at a beach with what seems like some of the family. It is definitely a beach on the ocean coast. It looks like Hawaii or the California coast. The sand is long and also very deep, sloping down to reach the water. The waves come in large but not violently. It is dim out but the scene seems to be lit with some glow, maybe twilight or moonlight. I’m in the water now, with Dad and Stella. Stella swims after something - a toy?, not an animal. She dives down quite a ways after it. I’m apprehensive at first but then relax when I see how well she’s doing.