All DJ Entries

10.3.14

Last night bed 11pm - 5:45am

I'm watching a fingernail on my right big toe move a little bit. Then it's pulled down. I grab it and pull it back up. This goes on for a while. I grab some scisors and a flashlight and ran to the bathroom with intent to stab whatever is in my toe. The light in there is very low so I think I wont't be able to see. But as I lean over, I get a great view on the inside of my toe visible through the tiny gap between a toenail and the toe. I see a tiny portion of a skinny, silvery, shiny body with tiny scales. I think it's some kind of a lizard, maybe a basilisk.

I decide it's too big for me to just kill it by myself. I go to a doctor. He is concerned if I'll be able to pay. I say sure, how much. He asks for a $1000. I agree, but when he mixes up some tincture and tries to drop few drops on the lizard, I say hell no. I don't want him to just anger the lizard, I want him to kill it. Fast. Like on first try, coz if I feel him move inside, well I don't want that.

So I go and find another doctor. I'm in a hospital bed waiting for a procedure. People are deciding who should go and visit me, coz I visited them in hospital as well. I just want the damn thing out.

I am having some dream where I was visiting this town in central America. But it feels like I am just in my own subdivision. The town has this tradition that once a year they get all this pita bread and lay it out on the floor in this huge room in a school. They then cover it in cheese and taco meat. They then (somehow) heat the pita bread so that the cheese melts holding it together. They then add lettuce and some kind of tomato sauce or hot sauce. Then they fold it up into this giant pita and cut peices out of it like a cake.
I think I was visiting the town for a project in college, and I wanted to learn more about their culture. So I was helping them lay out pieces of bread and put cheese on them.
As part of my research, I had found out what this event was called. The name of this event translates from the language of the natives (It might have been Spanish, I don't remember) into 'Celebration of the Stomach'. And the idea behind the festival was not making the giant pita, but rather trying to see who could eat the most of it. The man who cut the slices for everybody was trained to make every slice exactly the same size, and there was a competitive eating aspect to this celebration.
At one point, I recognized the total absurdity of the situation and became partially lucid. I thought about reality checking to confirm if it was a dream or manifesting my dream guide. I woke up a few moments later.

1. I was outside of school in the B parking lot, and it was dark outside. The parking lot was heavily crowded with people and it was as though a concert was about to begin. I was standing with my friends Patrick, Dylan, and Trey next to a red car that was parked. We talked for a bit and while we did, my foot actually slipped and slammed into the side door of the red car. Moments later Patrick ended up hitting the car harder than I did, and this made the car alarm go off.
I thought that I had made the car alarm go off, and Patrick just touched the car at the exact time that it went off, but I wasn't sure. Immediately as the car alarm went off, we all started running away from the car. Everyone in the parking lot ran away from it as well. I remember running past a huge yellow storage truck. Everyone ended up running into the A parking lot- the closest one to the school. As I made it over here I got detached from my friends and ended up talking to some random black dude. He invited me to go somewhere, more specifically he wanted me to follow him I think.
I then remember being in a big grassy field, and behind me I could see a huge concert stage with all the lights and everything. I think we ended up riding bikes around or something.

2. I was at a gas station at night time, and I remember stealing something. The police made a huge deal out of it and ended up searching for the criminal, and they didn't know it was me. Later on I went to my house and went up into my room, it was still nighttime. A police officer came into my house and asked a few questions to my parents and searched the house for evidence. My name was brought up and I remember thinking, "Nah, they'll never know it was me", and remaining completely relaxed.
My sister came upstairs later and I talked to her for a little bit.

1. I was in a car driving it and it started to flip over and go into the air. I was terrified. The car started to crunch around my body. I woke up.

2. I dreamt that me and Peter and Jenny (my brother and sister) were secretly cultivating and taking care of a Mimosa Hostillis Root bark plant and Peter put a leaf of it under my eye and it stung my skin.. I cut off some leaves and hid it under some clothing. Then I craved water. (I don't remember that part but I wrote it down). I thought Peter knew how to extract DMT from Mimosa Hostillis Root bark. I saw Justin in Jenny's old room in the house my family lost, cuddling with a younger boy that might have been one of the students from my martial arts school. This was a dream within a dream I had a false awakening and told my mom (in the dream) about Peter knowing how to make DMT. I looked for the plant cuttings from the original dream and then I woke up for real.

I dreamt I was writing down my lucid dream, and then I woke up and wrote it down.
I was at a mall, and I was scared because I didn't know where I was, until I realized it was a dream. Before that, I was arguing with my mom about wanting to cook something, but she didn't want me to make a mess, and a man was talking to me about Jesus Christ. Then the man left, and I realized I didn't know where I was or how I got there, so I realized it was a dream. I went down an escalator. There were free energy drinks and I thought about drinking them but then I rejected them because I looked at the ingredients in one of them and they were strange chemicals that I didn't want to be in my body.

Then I saw people doing capoeira and I walked to them and I was suddenly wearing white and I did capoeira with a young boy/young man. They weren't people I recognized but I told them that I used to do capoeira 3 years ago. Then I wanted to look for DMT.

Then I saw a clothing store and wanted clothing. So I walked up a down escalator to strengthen my legs. I saw my friend Kirstin and talked to her and then I saw my friend and singing teacher Polly and her daughter Emma and she asked me to buy something for her when I told her I was going shopping. I prayed that the dream would be longer and that I wouldn't wake up yet. I walked into the store and I saw a pink bisquit and I really wanted to eat it because it would have 0 calories and I would taste it but it was only a dream so it wouldn't give me any real calories. I started spinning in the air and moving forward flying and I enjoyed spinning and flying. Then I woke up.

In the dream I was going to steal, and when I woke up for real after the false wake up where I reflected on the dream and wrote it down, I realized I shouldn't steal in a dream. But in the dream, there was no concept of money at all, like it was in the beginning of my life when my mom was stealing clothing for me and I was twelve and it was normal to me and I just thought the clothes were free. In the dream, everything was free.

New goal: eat desserts in dreams and taste it and not get the calories.

Ritual: WTB 1am, woke 4:45am. Read, drank spice lassi, 7 minutes SSILD meditation, WBTB 6am. Relaxation, counting, mantra, took probably 30–45 minutes to fall fully asleep. Woke 7:30am with dreams.

Alchemy: 400mg L-Theanine, 400mg Alpha-GPC 50%, 750mg Aniracetam, taken at end of WBTB.

Notes: Two days ago I was buying ice cream in RL, and it occurred to me that I should use this as a motivator. "You can't eat any of this ice cream until you have a lucid dream!" I told myself sternly. Then last night I was thinking of eating something else for dessert, and I decided to be even more strict: "In fact, no dessert for you at all until you get lucid!" Given everything else that went into my attempt, including excitement about the brand new TOTMs, I can't estimate to what extent this reward-based strategy was a factor in the successful outcome, but it's worth experimenting with some more. Either I'll have more LDs or I'll eat fewer sweets, so it's a win-win either way!

I've been working on my mantra, and I'm currently going with variants of "Do we perceive the dream?" When going to sleep while counting I was thinking this on the off-counts, and as the hypnagogic state started to set in, at one point I noticed myself thinking: "Do we believe the skies?" ("Skies" as in the sporting equipment, so the rhyme was preserved.) This was so absurd I had to rouse myself and write it on my notepad!

By the time I started dreaming, it seemed as though there was a degree of dream-awareness from the start of the sequence, but I don't think it blossomed into full lucidity (with agency) until I remembered my tasks. There was no specific "moment of realization," and yet overall the dream felt much more like a DILD than a WILD, so I'm calling it a DILD.

DILD: I was standing in a narrow lane, enclosed on both sides by walls and buildings, in a residential area. A woman came out from a nearby house and walked past me, carrying a cat. Two other cats were running after her anxiously, so although their size suggested that they were almost fully grown, I intuited that the they must be the kittens of the cat she was carrying. The cat in her arms had wonderful markings, almost like tiger stripes. One of the ones that followed had a similar coat, a cross between tiger stripes and a Bengal's spots. A few minutes later a third cat came along, also striped.

I was so taken with looking at the cats that I didn't want to get too far behind, so I followed them and called the young boys that were with me to keep up. One of them was pushing an empty wheelbarrow but soon left off and went to chase after his friend, who had now gone ahead of me. I picked up the wheelbarrow and pushed it along for awhile, but it was of very primitive construction, all wood, even the wheel was just a disk of solid wood, so it was cumbersome. I wondered why I even needed it. I had noticed that one of the other boys who had gone ahead was giving his friend a ride in another wheelbarrow, and figured if I kept pushing mine, one of the boys would likewise ask me if they could ride in it, which would make it even more cumbersome. So I put it down and continued along the path.

There was a barn to the left, with an open door, and I decided to turn aside and explore it. This meant there would be no way of catching up with the others, but I didn't feel much urgency to do that anymore. The barn was full of old objects, and seemed to be used as storage of some kind. I remembered the TOTM and reasoned that in a rustic place like this it should be easy to find a pumpkin, so I started looking around for one. I climbed a ladder to a ledge which was serving as a shelf for additional objects, and was pleased to find that one of them was a large pumpkin. Everything else was covered with dust, which made me wonder how long the pumpkin had been sitting here. It was probably this concern that made me notice that the pumpkin was looking a bit sagging and rotten, but I recalled that the TOTM instructions didn't specify anything about the condition of the pumpkin, so I figured that it would still work!

Before I could reach for it, I noticed that it wasn't the only pumpkin: now I saw that there were three more on the shelf within arm's reach, all of them of slightly different hues and shapes. I was glad there was an alternative to reaching into the rotten pumpkin, so I grabbed the one whose appearance I found the most interesting: it was small, squat, and had a faintly bluish tinge. I figured I would start with this one, and if I didn't like the results, I had three more to work with.

Part of me wanted to just punch my fist into the pumpkin, which would have been faster but less elegant, so I forced myself to take my time and cut it open properly. I produced a knife from somewhere, without really thinking about it, and began sawing a circle around the stem, just as if I were going to begin carving a jack-o-lantern. When I completed the circle I lifted up the top section, revealing the interior of the pumpkin, and reached inside. The pumpkin was small enough that my hand barely fit, and I was groping around in the stringy goop and slimy seeds trying to find something else in there, hoping to encounter something interesting and unanticipated. All I felt were the pumpkin's ordinary innards, though.

Initially I had left my anticipations open-ended, but now that the dream was coming up empty-handed I tried to seed them with some expectations. Although it was a small pumpkin, there would be plenty of room for a ring. Might there be a ring inside? I squished all the pumpkin innards around in my hand to make sure I wasn't missing anything, but there was nothing there, nothing that wouldn't ordinarily be found in a pumpkin. The only distinguishing feature was that the stringy goop and slimy seeds, despite their very naturalistic texture, had the same bluish tinge as the pumpkin's skin. (I think this might have been day-residue, as last night I had been reading an Amazon review of a set of mala beads beads made in China that complained how the wood had soon developed a weird bluish cast.)

At that point I decided to give up on the little blue pumpkin and get started on the other three, but inconveniently I woke up. I considered getting up and writing my report, but felt that I was still in a state where it would be possible to DEILD, so I fixed the previous events in mind and let myself drift back into dream.

DEILD: This time I found myself in a place I recognized: it was the house of my maternal grandmother that I often visited as a young kid. It is a place that often shows up in my dreams. On this occasion, the theme of "blue" seemed to carry over from the last dream, as I noticed that the house now had a beautiful deep blue carpet that looked brand new. "Nice new carpet!" I said loudly, in case anyone was home. My grandmother is long dead but in waking life my uncle lives there now. In the dream, however, the house seemed quiet and empty, and no one responded to my complement.

I felt very lucid and clear, more so than in the beginning of the last dream, and remembered my standing intention to reflect on my bodily awareness. Sure enough, I could feel the characteristic tingles in my abdomen and especially in my legs that I associate with dreaming. (My hypothesis is that this "tingling" is a product of REM atonia.) I also associate this sensation with the ability to fly in dreams, so I experimentally levitated a bit, and then tried to implant the mental suggestion to be more aware of this body state while dreaming, with the aim of getting lucid more often.

Returning my attention to the environment, I wondered what task I could try next. I had been interested in the other basic task, drinking blood, but I didn't want to have to go all vampire on anyone who I might happen to encounter in this house, given that this was a place where my own relatives lived. "Perhaps if I look in the refrigerator, there'll be a cup of blood in there," I figured. It seemed a reasonable speculation, but after opening the fridge (which at the time I didn't notice was on the opposite side of the room than it is in RL), I didn't see any likely candidates. What would a cup of blood even look like? And would it still count for the task if it came from the fridge? The instructions didn't specify a source. But the idea of drinking a cup of refrigerated blood was not appealing to me, so I thought I should save this task for a more suitable occasion. I much preferred the idea of drinking it vampire-style, especially if I could get the bonus by drinking it from a supernatural creature.

Closing the fridge, I wondered what other tasks might be suitable for this environment. I remembered my lucid dare, and that struck me as a perfect idea: when I was little I always used to walk and play in the forest behind this house, so it was the perfect "enchanted" forest in which to go looking for elves. I continued walking through the house and went out the back door.

The world that greeted me once I stepped outside was startling in its freshness. The colors were deep and rich and luminous, more so than I usually see in dreams, and I was struck by the beauty of my surroundings. There were some distinct differences from RL: in the far distance I could residential areas covered in mist, as though I were looking at a town from the summit of a tall hill. The forest I hoped to find was present, but quite a bit further away than I would have expected. And walking across the grass of the wide lawn that lay before the forest was... a minotaur? I looked again. No, not quite a minotaur... it had the same general lineaments, but the head was that of a horse rather than a bull. Nevertheless, the creature was clearly supernatural, and it reminded me of the blood task again. I didn't want to miss this opportunity, since it was walking right toward me, so I approached the creature.

I didn't want to just grab the monster and start biting him, since he would surely conclude that I was attacking him and fight back, which could be counter-productive. So I went up to him and asked politely, "Sir, would you mind if I drank some of your blood? I only need a cup." He was at least seven feet tall and surely had plenty of blood to spare, so I didn't see any reason he should refuse. To my consternation, he seemed unsettled by my request and tried to demur. But I didn't want to pass up this opportunity, and figured that I had already met the demands of good sportsmanship by clarifying my intentions, so I grabbed his left arm (I was facing him, so it was the arm to my right), extended my fangs, bit him right in the crook of his elbow, and began to drink. Although he was tense and rigid, he didn't fight back, and I concluded that he must be experiencing that peculiar pleasure that the prey of vampires are often said to feel while being fed upon.

I paused to look up, gauging the creature's reaction, and was surprised to see that his appearance had changed. His head was thrown back, his eyes closed, but it was the head of an ordinary man now, no longer that of a horse. The task was to drink from a supernatural creature and see how it changed me, but it turned out he was the one that was transforming! I returned to drinking his blood before he could recover his wits and fight me off. However, the blood wasn't coming very quickly. Either I had picked a bad spot where the blood couldn't flow freely or he was still resisting me in some way, perhaps stifling its flow through the tension in his arm, which was still very stiff. I woke up before I had finished drinking, and promptly concluded that I didn't think I hadn't drunk a whole cup's worth, if we're measuring technically by eight ounces. However, it turns out that it is hard to estimate the quantity of blood you're drinking when you're getting it right from someone's arm!

10.2.14

Wow, long time no entry coz no recall.

Afternoon nap 17 - 19:20

It was all nonlucid but very detailed.

Spoiler for not that explicit, but still:

So I was in a bed with a guy. We didn't know each other, so I'm asking him what he likes, and at the same time realizing I should not be asking, just doing. So I take my pants off, very vivid images of that, then the top, and my necklace is getting tangled in my hair. Then we are in bed again. Then it's time to take rest of it off. So I get up and get nude. All this time we are working on each other.

I don't recall much of the dream because I didn't write it down in the morning. All I remember is being in a house and talking to someone, maybe my mom.We were going to go shopping at a store like JC Penny I think with some other people.But out of no where a boy stopped us from going there and asked another person a question. He asked this question"If someone had a baby with their lover and went away for two or one year, but left their love in them, is it wrong?"The other person said no and he was relieved to find someone who agreed with him.Than I woke up.

10/02/2014
"Where's Your Godzilla, Now?!"

I was in either an apartment complex or a large hotel, and it was being attacked by a giant creature, similar to the Meganulon in the 1956 movie Rodan (which my roommate and I watched, last night), except way more bad ass, and closer to the Godzilla vs Megaguirus version (pictured above). It would burrow and tunnel through all of the apartments/rooms, like a worm through dirt, and it had cornered me in one of the upper hallways, far above the parking lot. When I tried to duck away into a room, it would crash through a wall, heading me off. Then, I would crawl through a window to escape, and it would charge back into the hallway, stalking me.

Not able to get passed the monster, I turned to run the opposite way. After not more than a few feet, I saw that the hallway was blocked by a enormous f'cking spider, the size of a small car, crawling along the wall and coming around the corner, toward me.

I was now trapped, with the Rodan wannabe on one side, and the mutant spider on the other. Running back into the rooms hadn't done me any good, so far. Faced with no other option, I climbed up on the banister and crawled over to the other side, suspending myself on the outside of the railing and starting to climb, precariously, down to the floor below me.

It is unclear, whether or not the monsters started to follow me, though, as I don't remember anything after this point.

I had several non-lucid dreams. None particularly memorable, but I did observe something interesting about how I dreamed. I remembered one dream fragment, and one lengthy dream before my WBTB alarm went off. This tells me that lucid dreaming is possible before WBTB because obviously I was already having dreams. I had some other dreams after my actual wake-up alarm, but I don't remember them. I also hit my snooze a few times, and each time I drifted into a short dream. These are more lucid opportunities, supposing I extended my "snooze" to 20 or 30 minutes.

I've been contemplating why I want to lucid dream. "Because it's cool" is not a good enough reason; plenty of things are cool and do not require so much time and effort. I think the answer may lie in just wanting to be more observant and aware at all times, including my dreams. I have always had a fascination with the freedom that lucid dreaming offers, too. Why do you lucid dream?

I read the October dream challenges. I'm hoping to accomplish at least #1: finding a pumpkin and seeing what's inside.

9/29/14
The Slenderman:
I was sitting down on a Bench inside a store sitting next to my recurring DC Friend.
I had many games in this backpack I had one in perticular was really crazy, It said PS3 on it I said "Dude look at this, it says PS3 when its clearly a PSP game card." Madden 13 it said, but it wasn't a PSP game card it was DS game card!
Eventually, me and my DC Friend went inside the slenderman game.
We were back in a flowershop now, and I looked outside the place my eyes widened. "Dude, look its slenderman!" I lied, (why would I lie?) and pointed to a tree. He yelled "EEEEEK!".
Finally, my mother started crying (In the Dream) and yelled for me but she wasn't crying anymore she yelled my name in a mad way if I was in trouble. (In the Dream)
9/30/14
Video Games sure enter your dreams, oops! Title is taken! -
I was playing a Video game I was playing as Sage Mode Goku (From Battle Of Z) and, fighting a adminstrator he was Sasuke...? I think...but anyway I fought him eventually, other people were playing on my team the gameplay felt like Dragon Ball Xenoverse. Someone smriked evily and, formed a attack like 6 Tails Naruto would do you know that red Ball like attack? We beat the Adminstrator, I celebrated.

I've been having reallllly weird dreams lately, compared to my weird stress-induced dreams about work. I've been waking up in a panic unfortunately because of them so I lose a lot of recall on them, but this is what I remember. I would really like feedback on the dream from 10/1/14, just because I've never had a dream like that involving owls


9/30/14

My boyfriend and I are at a football game, namely the Seattle Seahawks and the Denver Broncos. I know it's this game because one, we're wearing our Seahawks jersies (and so are a lot of other people) and because I just know it's in Denver. Does that make sense? Anyways, the stadium is half of my high school's football field and half of Safeway, namely the checkout area. We're shopping for snacks, about to head into the game, and these little kids keep running around and fighting with each other. My boyfriend and I are sick of them fighting, so he chases them around the stadium and I'm waiting to catch them. They run into me and I grab them and say "interception! that's what happens when you play the seahawks!". Only putting that one in because I'm 99% sure I said that out loud, because my boyfriend asked me why I was talking about the Seahawks in the middle of the night.

Well we jump from capturing the kids to sitting on the field. We're sitting in metal bleachers on the very end, and a storms coming in. Just like in all my dreams about storms, the sky goes to a really deep navy blue, and the bad part of the storm turns black. We realize it's about to be a tornado, but we don't have time to leave. We're trying to hunker down, but the storm comes in too fast and we get sucked into the tornado. I wake up in a panic because I'm freaking terrified of tornados (even though in my city the last actual tornado to actually do anything in my city was back in 1979..). I know more happened after that but I woke up so suddenly I lost it



10/01/14

This is the interesting one. I am with my family, but it's not my family. It's me, a younger sibling (I think a girl for the most part, but it's gender switched) and our aging father. We can fly, and we're flying in search of something, like food or money. I don't know what, but it's just this feeling of needing to find a supply of something. My father lands us in the mouth of this cave, halfway up a mountain. It's dark and somewhat gloomy, and there are shelves built into the wall. There is a back room you can get into through an arch built into the stone wall. We're rummaging, looking for something. I get the feeling we either own this cave area (somehow) or it's an unmanned shop. We collect items (cant remember what) and we're getting ready to go. I remember my father figure standing off to the side, holding an armful of things. I remember he lays down on his stomach in the mouth of the cave, and he's smiling. He's happy, and I get the feeling it's because he owns the cave (at least I think). A good thing to note is that in the dream I'm standing off to the side with my sibling, but I'm watching him from an upper angle to his left. I'm staring down at him, and suddenly, he's thrown back and I'm now the father. I'm in his body, and I know that it's me lying on my back, but I'm still watching from the same angle.

This giant owl that's about 3 or 4 feet tall, light brown with a white face and chest, lands on me/father figure and pins down the body. He says something along the lines of, 'this is what your price for treachery is!' and then he sinks his beak into the neck and rips it out. And I mean, it's pretty gore. He slices the neck up and just goes to town on it. And I know it's me dying, but all I can do is watch. The owl is up to the side of me on the wall,opposite of where I'm watching from. My view switches from up above to the right to looking up at the owl beneath him. He spreads his wings out and says, "if only you had done your part, paid what you owed, you would have lived!" and I got this really heavy feeling of like, I don't know, a gang or something. Like me/father figure was in the business with the owl and we didn't do our share so the owl killed me/him.

I woke up pretty startled, needless to say, and I lost a lot of bits from the dream

I was driving down a highway somewhere in Iowa. There were fields stretching off into the horizon on both sides of the road. it was late afternoon. There were no other people on the road.

I came over a rise, and saw something strange. Over off the road in a tobacco field on my right, a man was being crucified. I pulled over and got out to get a better look. The cross was t-shaped and about thirty-to-fifty-feet high. It was secured with metal cables. From the two arms of the cross some material was hung, like silk or plastic wrap. it formed these "wing" sort of things, like those wings on the flying suits that people wear.

The man being crucified appeared to be a white man made up in African ceremonial dress and paint. He even had two bones stuck in both his nostrils. Much to my surprise, he was laughing. It was a deep and sinister-sounding laugh.

On the ground were the people who had put him up and come to watch him die. They were all Amish people, and they stood around silently and emotionless with there arms crossed, looking up at him.

A young man met a boy who claimed to be his long lost brother. But it turned out he actually wasn't, and the false brother kidnapped the young man and forced him at gun point to make humiliating phone calls to all his friends. In total, he was forced to make 470 of these calls. Then the false brother murdered him.

I was in a men's restroom with the door open. I has holding a white latex surgical glove. I took some scissors and cut about an inch off the end of the index finger. I filled this up with water from the sink, tied the open end and threw it like a water balloon against the wall. It burst and splattered water. Then two girls came to the door and looked in at me. I picked up the remains of the finger, held it out to them and said, "Look! It's Professor Siri!"

I was sitting at my kitchen table with a young woman and man, not sure who. We were just chatting about the day's activities. The young woman said to me, "I have to leave now to go buy some Lipidil (for cholesterol)." I said, "Hey wait, I think I have some in my cupboard. I use to be on that too." I walked over to the cupboard and opened it. I see the Lipidil box sitting there amongst the other medications and I grab it. When I looked closer at the label it said ASA. What the heck, did I grab the wrong box? I put the pill box back and tried again. The same thing happened! Wrong pill box. I knew instantly I was dreaming. I'm Lucid! Now what should I do.? I thought it would be great to ask for my daughter to come and visit with me, but first I'll need to stabilize the dream, because things were fading fast. I began to swirl, and swirl, and swirl. Usually I don't have to swirl this long for the clarity to come back. Finally the dream was coming back and there was a glowing person standing in my kitchen. I was still swirling. The person said in a pleasant man's voice, "Welcome back!" Just then, there was a loud noise in my house (physical home), and I woke up. Darn, this would have been a lot of fun!