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SubCat: Not Peaceful
I was starting new academic year with my new class but having what felt like a lot of interference from my peers. Teacher in next class wanted my time during a lesson (1 of my buttons pressed) worried about what class was doing while I was gone. Told me about Chinese pupil who was problematic in his set.
When I got back TAs were letting class watch cbbc or something. I was incensed but was told by children that they were filling time while waiting for me. Felt foolish but told them only as a reward in future and fumbled to turn off.

Lucidity and points at terrible cause.. awful nightmare spurred by stupid show I watched last night involving a dead baby :<

-My daughter has some kind of problem and somehow we decide the best course of action is to euthanize her ourselves, painlessly of course. For some reason we're going through this process on the roof of some unknown public building here in town in the middle of a bright, hot day. As the process goes on, my daughter just keeps playing around like nothing is going on, since it hasn't taken full effect yet. This is just all way too much for me and I freak the hell out. The sheer amount of awfulness springs my lucidity and I channel it all towards getting the hell out of there. I immediately run and jump wayyy up into the air and fly away in a straight line as fast as I can. Scenery speeds by in a blur and my recall ends.

Really irritated i still have yet to attain lucidity. I did have a few dreams forgot tonight too. My first remembered dream was i was in an old science class of mine but the back wall of the class was gone and outside was just a long stretching desert. The bell rang to go to our next class and when i walked in the desert HUGE worms were coming up out of the ground near where i stepped. I began to freak out and sprint to my class. When i finally made it i was at the same class i left but of course to my mind this was normal. i turned in a homework assignment and it was graded by another student who gave me a 1/11 and i didn't argue because in my mind i just wrote random stuff. Then i woke up. My second dream was when things got weird. I was in a parking lot of a Raley's by my house. There was a group of friends i was with and across from us was a group of friends that we know but aren't too close with. One of the girls in the other group named Sophia was being carried around naked. Why this didn't make me realize i was dreaming beats me. She had a shirt but just no shorts or underwear. The dream got blurry a little after that i remember going in the store for something but came back out. I was back with my group and one of my friends imitated them. So my friend Justin got naked and my other friends Brandon carried him. Brandon also stroked him (I don't know) and he cumed everywhere. I'm sorry for the vision but this is really what happen. I ran away being grossed out and woke up. My third dream was all together not very clear in the beginning. I do know sometime in the beginning i grew a second penis but it was really small compared to my normal one. I also remember googling on my phone "The fact is I have a second penis". It started to clear up when i went to a school play of mine with my friend. We sat in the theater although it wasn't my schools theater but a legit one. The music was actually really good. I myself love classical music so i enjoyed it a lot. Then the second play we went to was a skit performed by students and all i remember was it was a joke so me and my friend Chris just talked thew whole time. Then i woke up. Sorry for the bad images i might have put in your head but it feels nice to do this and tell people my dreams so I'm going to keep this up.

Morning of August 25, 2015. Tuesday.



In my dream (with no implied back story or prior memory of any other event or situation) I find myself absentmindedly looking at an array of thumbnails on my computer monitor, too small to see much detail other than various images of a mysterious figure in black and what may be a closeup of a face in solely one image of the set. It looks like it may be a set of photographs of a young dark-haired Moroccan girl in a mostly featureless room, though it may also be a young version of my wife Zsuzsanna. My thoughts are not that defined and I remain puzzled over the display. The images seem slightly larger at one point, though not based on any technical adjustment on my part (though possibly by automatic magnification, based on purely mental “zooming in” of the dream self’s perspective, this being a fairly common event in my dreams). She is wearing black clothes, including black silky palazzo pants and a kaftan top from what can be seen in the thumbnails, and it looks like there may be a black veil in some images.

When I bring up one image in the top row, I see a young female’s face and it looks rather distorted though still human for the most part. An outline of very small jewels completely encircles her eyes, mouth, and nose area. They look like they may have been deeply embedded into her skin. This puzzles me and for a moment I almost think it is her actual face and that the “jewels” are organic, though I eventually accept that they may be tiny rhinestones. I have no idea who it is at this point. At one time the girl may have been pretty, but now she looks almost inhuman (or “alien” in a cinematic sense) and very odd. My dream fades after this, after seeing only the one larger image with some sort of vague wariness regarding what sort of “creature” she may be (though likely still human for the most part, yet unique in that I get the impression no one else has gone to this extreme in facial alteration, which may be related to some sort of extreme cultural or religious purpose).

Morning of August 25, 2015. Tuesday.



Notes:

It always gives me an extraordinary sense of fulfillment when I get a continuous flow of insight and am able to more fully decode certain patterns in dreams over a lifetime since earliest memory. I am very grateful for the technology that has allowed me to do this; that is, type faster and with continuous editing potential (rather than writing and correcting and rewriting and correcting when I was little), put documents all together in one place, and have a listing and potential day to day timeline of my lifetime from around age four (with sparse family references and records since my birth date in 1960) as well as having access to resources that are able to validate and enhance so many of my earlier records. Not only will I be able to, in about ten years (only an optimistic estimate of course), bring all of my dream records and notes together as I want them, I will also have the ability to do extensive searches with a fair amount of precision. This dream, as odd and unlikely as it seems (even to me at first - I did not expect the flashes of realization when working with it), gave me the required focus somehow to unravel a small and isolated set of dream metaphors and associations going back to 1968 as well as relating to the path to my beautiful soulmate. There are too many layers to get into in this entry (and one would have to understand hundreds of summarized pages of my personal back story to “get” any of it anyway). I can only loosely touch upon some of it. Obviously, there are still limitations to my personal symbols and metaphors being fully decoded. This is mainly because some symbolic associations are rather sparse and fairly rare even at my present age. Still, I feel very happy today with another new breakthrough.

Sewing Machine Bulldozer:

I am mournfully back as I was when I was in my twenties and working for the Onalaska Street Department (not that I was sad at that time - it is just that something seems to be “missing” somehow in-dream). My job at this time was picking up large pieces of eroded embankment (on a fairly difficult inclination) and placing them on the roadside - placing them directly in front of the bulldozer. This was very difficult work and not many could do it for very long. Over time, I begin to be annoyed and tired over why I am even doing this. (It does not dawn on me that I am no longer this age, and do not even live in America anymore.) I am concerned about the speed of the other workers. The bulldozer even bumps me a few times, though not in any harmful way. I grow impatient and realize that I may have missed pieces a far distance back and think that the stretch will have to be worked over again. I do some of the work incorrectly, that is, I bend over to pick up a heavy piece instead of squatting and flinging back. Any sense of weariness of course, is an illusion in-dream. I start to ask myself what I am doing here. Is this where I am supposed to be?

I absentmindedly turn about and put my foot against the blade of the bulldozer. This results in a very strange event. The blade and push frame begin to wobble and very small “plates” fall off the front (reminding me vaguely of “Bathtub with Grill” from June 26, 2015). The exhaust pipe stack begins to move up and down like a “giant” sewing machine needle. It is almost like the tension building up in a cartoon (but not cartoon-like in any way). When I look down, I see that the bulldozer’s blade has actually transformed into an oversized antique sewing machine’s treadle (with floral scroll design), though at an angle and somewhat elevated. My leg is automatically working it to create (and actually sew together, apparently) some sort of clothing within the bulldozer’s cab. It is some sort of gossamer white lacy material flowing out from the side. Around this time there is a very strange mechanical sound behind me and when I dare look, it is a downward rolling “wave” suggesting a ghostly staircase. Soon, it is a luminescent staircase (recurring feature mostly from early 1991 to early 1994). My wife (as she was when we first made contact) in a glowing wedding dress and some sort of oversized tiara (somewhat like a crown) is standing there with a bouquet of flowers. I can see a blue layer of light just under her skin. “I’m not going to be late, am I?” I ask. “I never intended to be la…” (My dream is swept away.)

Connections:

Bulldozer history: I have found some links I did not really fully put together before. “The Dead One” dream (February 13, 1971, age ten - that is, first version of it) had a bulldozer run over Brenda W when I was taking flowers to her late at night on the eve of Valentine’s Day (so that only her hand is seen emerged from the soil and I feel a terrible sense of loss), yet she was resurrected (not in a zombie sense) near the end of my dream, yet “I could not yet have her”. (There were several dreams where she was resurrected, none of them relevant to any zombie lore - more in a divine “ascension” sense.) Brenda was the fully confirmed “stand-in” for my wife-to-be and also appeared in composite forms (such as “The Bad Witch” from March 18, 1978, which had a recurrence on March 23rd - the same date I got my first letter from my wife-to-be in 1991). Other layers - my sister died on February 13th (though the 14th from my perspective at one point in Australia as we are about a day ahead) and my father also died on the 14th of February. I have often associated the bulldozer with mortality and loss as such. Thus, there is very odd synchronicity with only a 1 in 365 chance it would be relevant as such - though it is - and all through my life extremely unlikely synchronicity continued with almost every event and association.

The origins of this (that is, the very seed) may or may not be related to the tree I used to spend time near at primary school. One of my friends used to take palmetto sticks and push sand off the concrete bench, chanting “bulldozer bulldozer”. This was the “same” bench that Brenda was seated in most versions of “Bridge Over a Prehistoric World” (though she also appeared in distorted composites associated with the “dream girl” or “mystery girl” as I preferred).

At any rate, from here, I made somewhat of a breakthrough in one very early version of the “divine staircase”. However, the features are quite different. It turns out to be my “Rocket Science” dream from July 2, 1976. This is not the first version of the implied “soulmate staircase” by any stretch. One of the oldest appears in “The Ghost Marriage” dream from October 16, 1971. I am linking only to the “Rocket Science” dream because of a few odd parallels. Firstly, the white sheet of paper that makes the “staircase” is like a miniature implication of the one in this latest dream (which I never even began to note before for whatever absentminded reason) as well as the commonly recurring ones as already mentioned above. It moved exactly the same way; that is, like a diagonal wave that suggested a complete “pure” or “divine” staircase (phantom or not).

Aside from that, there is also the shared “whirligig” element and the strange “impossible” technology, the “whirligig” obviously being a Merkaba form, but I am not sure what the sewing machine needle and fictional helicopter rotary design “pumping” relates to (well, on a spiritual level that is - some sort of spiritual “motor” or cosmic mechanism perhaps). As most of this had already come about in 1994, it is more like a decoding breakthrough than anything relevant to what may come.

Sleeping: August 23rd 2015, 10:30 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: August 24th 2015, 6:20 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, False Awakening

I'm already bored of dreams which take place at school. Anyways, things in real life do influence, eh? Woke up once at 4:30 AM with no dreams recalled; exception being light feeling as if I was flying in a dream, a song that was stuck in my head, weird fast blade sound. Took me around half an hour to sleep at 5:00 AM (probably).

This took place in a classroom where I used to study last year. For this class, specifically GSP (The Geometer's Sketchpad), teacher arrived late so we just messed around as we always did. Environment was just usual, people brought up their laptop, getting things prepared, some chit-chat around, walking around, doing other works, etc. Though, carpet on the ground was dark blue; lighting was dim amber light instead of usual fluorescent light. I walked to the desk in the middle to talk with one of my close friends about some assignments we had to do. Spectated some people in the back, came up forth and then a female teacher came.

I sat down on my desk in front, leftmost while my teacher just went on and turned on school's computer at rightmost in front of the activboard. The class went on as usual, until she called me and one of my friends up in front. As always, I just expected it to be some method showing and such which I didn't pay attention to (at least in this dream class). We sat down at the desk in front of my usual desk, facing my friends, using the (dream) computer there linked to projector. She showed us a figure of what we needed to calculate... something.

I expected it to be easy, until then I found myself struggling to even replicate that. It was a simple polygon, but I failed to even think of length of each sides. I looked at the board, of course, I saw all numbers or x's there; but I was still confused as my friend was. I spoke to teacher, asked her on how sides were supposed to be. She looked at me once before ignoring me, continuing her class as if my friend and I weren't even here in first place. We just had to do something as if we were sitting at our usual spots. I was left confused like this, trying to do things and such with this simple image. I didn't notice it shifted few times, with few numbers changed which might lead to lucidity.

Related dreams

• Unknown Date - Training for such competition

Sleeping: August 22nd 2015, 11 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: August 23rd 2015, 7:20 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, False Awakening

Woke up once at 4:40 AM, didn't recall anything. Continued sleeping on.

I don't know how I started it, or when did I, but I found myself playing a game that I usually play. Of course, Terraria, why not? (Though I don't really have time to play IWL right now due to works and such. I'm also actually a moderator on a server.) I was on a server, alone with someone else. Although, I was only one who was actually playing. They were just watching and talking to me. It was a simple, quick, parkour map which also had a server plugin co-operated: to not allow standing in same spot for more than one second. Indeed, it was rushing and also short. I was supposed to use a new character to play on. However, I had 400 HP and 200 MP but with no other equipment/tools. I don't think I have to explain here since it's gameplay as you would do in your usual life, would be boring. Anyways, it was great idea for me to actually try IWL.

After few minutes of getting through backtrack and such, final thing I had to do is fighting a boss with purely new character. I hesitated a bit, but decided to give it a go. I didn't know when, but I actually had 500 HP by that time, with weird flame-themed items. (Actually molten/flame things, with a bit of green; looked great anyways) They were non-existant IWL though. It was long time with that, while I was also talking to that unknown person.

I woke up. It was probably on how I actually got break as August 22nd was Saturday. A great break from getting stressed with schools. Of course, this also meant game/coding/etc. elements were still things in my dream.

Related dreams:

• July 25th 2015 - Fragment

DILD #1:

I was having a stress dream at a grocery store where I was trying to buy face wipes for Dreamer late at night. Two people cut in front of me and the cashier lady was quite rude about it, she let them go ahead of me and told me to just wait. I got really annoyed and left the store then gave the cashier the finger, once I was off their property of course.
I realized this was too ridiculous to be real, so I started to fly a little bit while trying to remember what I wanted to do. I remembered my series of steps that I had planned out.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a silver flip phone, it was my old phone from high school. I opened it and tried to use it but it wouldn’t turn on. I pointed it at the wall and then woke up.

DILD #2:

I was in bed with Dreamer and we were talking about something when I noticed that there was a backdoor to our room. I was a bit confused, so I went to check it out. I opened the door and it led to this enormous grassy field. I did a nose plug RC and then started my series of steps again. I opened my pocket this time, stretching it out until it was big enough to see what was inside. I only saw darkness, so I imagined seeing my phone in it. Two phones and a….peanut butter and jelly sandwich appeared.
I grabbed my phone and swiped the screen, it turned on and had the typical home screen. I pointed the phone at a brick wall and pulled an invisible trigger while saying out loud, “Beep, beep, boop”.

A transparent, green blob shot out of the phone and hit the wall where it formed a swirling, transparent green portal. The portal was a bit smaller than I had expected so I ran towards it and dove in head first. I went straight through the portal and into the brick wall where I wandered around in the darkness. I felt like the dream was starting to end and I could feel my body waking up. I stayed still and waited for the dream to continue.

I appeared on top of Mount Olympus, but it was very undefined and grainy looking. It reminded me of a partially rendered mountain from an old computer game. There was no life on the mountain and it had no texture, it was just gray all over. The picture zoomed out for a minute where I saw the words “Gods of Olympus” carved into the top of it in orange, purple, red, and blue. I came back into my body and started running across the mountain super quickly while trying to find some gods to do a ToTY. I jumped from peak to peak but I couldn’t find any gods anywhere, then I woke up.

+(f) something about elevators

+ work @ Microsoft: we're making a new game, sons S1 and S2 give the demonstration. S2 messes it up a bit while S1 is away. S1 is knowledgeable about graphics cards (sort of surprised me), me mentions one by it's technical name.

Join a table of colleagues for a meeting. Most are seated across from my and to the right. They're talking, one of them makes a comment about the best workers. I make a pithy/clever comment that "the best workers stay the same, they just move around to different companies". Mostly nobody heard me because they were still talking, but some started to listen towards the end of my statement and they asked me to repeat it. I repeated it, the chuckle/nod in agreement.

I look down at myself and see I am not wearing my shirt, I see my bare chest. I feel this is a bit inappropriate at a meeting. My shirt is in my hands and I see it's inside out, so I start correcting it and then I'll put it on. Across the table I see is the group leader, he has a scraggy beard. The colleagues at the table are all guys about my age.

+ repairing the roof: I start high flying DO over the roof that several women are repairing. It's a fairly decrepit single-room building, dark wooden shingles, and they're renovating it. They're trying to figure out how best to pry off the shingles, there are some gaps on the roof near the peak/top where they've already removed some. The renovation leader makes a comment that the box just under the top of the roof should be replaced. I think they're trying to save as much old material as they can. The leader mentions that it would make a much better (lab?) if they just built a new building.

+ walking outside on street. My wife is ahead of me and initiates a conflict with some large dangerous looking thugs. As I approach she expects me to handle this mess she's started, and I say "Oh, No! No way!" and keep on walking ignoring the conflict.

At the end of the block there's a (convenience store?) and some hipster-ish girls are sitting down on chairs, they're wearing tank-tops and I'm vaguely aware of their cleavage. I think we're politically incompatible though.

In a group/club next door, some are sitting on a couch and we're chatting. I'm standing behind the couch with my hands placed on top of the back of the couch and sort of stretching while talking. Then a girl who's standing behind me responds to something I say with the comment like "...<something> about other gay guys." She thinks I'm gay, this makes me really mad, and while my body is still facing forwards I bend back behind me and give her the finger and hold it there in her face. She can't figure out what made me mad and I want her to figure it out on her own. After holding this pose a few seconds and storm off with the comment "f^&*ing <bleep>!".

A bit down the street they're talking about a building to the right (used for the military?).

Two dreams here, but in one recording:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/vy0ge6k7dg...25-15.mp3?dl=0

Here it goes!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/noqvm126we...24-15.mp3?dl=0

I was in a desert city. I wanted to get back home, but I didn't knew the way, and for some reason, police was after me. I have stolen a car, and then I wanted to drive away, but I was stopped by the police barricade. I saw a motorcycle, moved out of car and drove on it away from the barricade. Suddenly the sand desert turned into a glacier. There was a ramp in front of me, and I drove over it, and flied in the air for long time.

My husband (D) agrees to go to a Mormon church with me every week. I encourage him to do it to help him emotionally detach from his negative childhood with Mormonism. Because the sermons are so long, they have a restaurant that serves breakfast and lunch. I meet some girls there. I wonder if I should be friends with them since they're Mormon, but then decide that if they don’t push Mormonism on me it shouldn't matter. I am worried D won’t come. I walk down a large, winding outdoor hallway surrounded by beige stone. It's a long walk to the chapel but it's important not to be late bc they shame you if you are. I get there five minutes before eleven and luckily D is there. Afterwards, D buys spaghetti and other carb loaded foods at the food court. I think it's a bad food choice but don’t say anything. My mom goes with us a few times.

I am reading a destiny book in a classroom environment. Someone (Quen?) tells me that the next step I need to take is learning how to be assertive in dealing with people and conversing. I need to direct conversations towards positivism, speak my mind, and not allow others to constantly complain to me.

I am rehearsing for a play. I am the villain. They want me to make some sounds I'm not good at making so they change my role to one of the guy’s sisters. He is black, though. I consider making a joke on stage that one of our parents is black but I'm not sure it would be well received. I feel this role fits me much better and wonder why they wanted me to be a villain in the first place. Was it because of my eyebrows? My mom comes to the play the next day. It is at the Mormon church. Mostly Mormons are there. They start out making people sing solo. I wasn’t expecting this and am hoping they don't want me to do that. The people who sing are nervous and singing really quietly. My mom yells at them that she can't hear them. I think about what would happen if I were made to sing. I would be too nervous and shaky I wouldn’t be able to finish and that would be shameful and embarrassing for me and my mom. So I decide that if they try to make me sing I will tell them, “No. That’s not what I agreed to do.” But it never comes to that. I realize there was a projection on the screen with lyrical themes and the soloists have to improvise their songs accordingly. Ultimately, the play never takes place and I don't have to act. I am relieved but think it is weird. There is a mini store in the corner. I borrow someone’s electronics from that corner and give it to my mom, who somehow messes up someone’s period style dress with it. I give it back. There are good chips that I want and vendors sampling homemade cookies. I get a pink animal cookie but people keep eating all the sugar cookies. I get a chocolate cookie that has a cookie cream filling. I grab a twix type cookie and put in my pocket, then it broke in half.

The one Kardashian sister with the babies tells her family she is travelling to Lihue for the day. They all scoff bc they think it is a crappy place. Somebody takes an HD film of all the places that a certain male celebrity has been spotted there. They interview some residents bc he mingles with the locals. I wonder how they got such nice, unobstructed video while driving in the car. They pass my grandparents' house and run into 4 car traffic at the stop sign. They do only a rolling stop passing through. I keep seeing signs and buildings that say Moho. I am suddenly the one in the car with Alesia, Erica, and maybe my dad. There is a building that says Mtn. Home and I thought it had been transplanted there but everyone disagrees. I see a sign on the back of a Walmart loading area that says “George Bushes” and I laugh.

There is a fat, blonde, female child. I have to help her stretch her jaw with a piece of paper. Her jaw and cheeks hinge open all the way to the back of her head and I have to place a piece of paper in between. She is crying and wants to be hugged so I hug her. I take her to my mom’s house on the front walkway. We sit down and I talk to her about presence. “Do you know what presence is? It’s when you don’t think about the future and you don’t think about the past, you just think about this very moment. Sometimes we know we’re not being present when we feel things like fear. When we’re fearful we’re thinking about the future. Do you get afraid? What are you afraid of?” She looks at me dumbfounded and then it starts raining, we are getting wet even through the roof. I pick her up and take her inside.

Vague memory of packing boxes with my cousins and moving somewhere together.

there an eygpitan god stronger than anubis making his way in a alternate timeline who stronger than the egypitan god card oblesik where his power is trying to be seen by spectators around the globe he a purple cat who stronger than the world itself a ways that you couldnt imagine stonger than any greek myth stonger than any
thing you ever heard of till now there a being training who has trances and transformation states that he be working on for the past 8 years and every 8 years there a stornger power that grows he need to learn how to revert his dream states in astral plane like fashion where he need to learn how to control his blue eyes where that wen this monkey and purple cat meet the dream world will be an oblivion where you be ablle to control for eternity im just a purple cat an eyptian war lord who like scaring little purple dogs who are cowards

there is a fighter called shithead who lives in a room in a factory and he's sharing his strategy of how many punches and kicks he needs to throw and it's based on the caliber of the machine that he works at his job.

wbtb

im an mma journalist profiling a UFC fighter for a website. This guy seems terrible but the UFC is trumpeting him. he's got a win streak but it's been crushing cans. he's got a girlfriend and they are in a truck. he was offered another role where he doesn't have to fight and he's excited about it. UFC cancels the fight at the last minute to replace him with someone else and it makes him very upset.