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I've tried the SSILD again the past night. I had a LD but what happened it was a very strange and new experience to me: during an usual dream I found myself in a bathroom of an old building, like a school or a hospital.
At some point while looking at the mirror (that was steamy) I became lucid (I don't remember if something in particular triggered it or if it just happened) but then I became aware of my body in the real world.
I'm not sure if I was aware of it for the whole time and the dream itself was some prolonged HH like the night before, or if I became aware of it just after gaining lucidity (it's hard to explain or even realise it), but at that point I was in my bed, with my eyelids still closed and the dream I was having it was similar to a projection on my closed eyelids. It also became an old black and white movie, similar the ones of the world wars.

This is something new to me, I was living only the visual experience of the dream in a very clear and detailed way, like watching a movie (but not with my mind's eye as when day dreaming), while becoming aware of my physical body. Also, the black and white thing is new, I've always dreamt in colours, I don't know if it was some way with which my mind tried to make sense of the fact that I was "watching a dream" with closed eyes.

Furthermore when I woke up in the middle of the night, after one of the dreams, I also had auditory hallucinations, like if someone was speaking to me (I've done a RC just to make sure that it wasn't just a FA), sadly I don't remember what the voices were saying.

During the rest of the night I had some other of dreams (not lucid), but in one in particular there was something new that I think I've never done in the past: I shape-shifted myself into a bird as a disguise and to fly away from someone that was following me with the intention to hurt me.

5/2/2016 (thu)

Long LD 354 "Tank Rampage"
The dream copies our ealier Thursday night tabletop session where we are making up characters for a new Star Wars Edge of Empire campaign. NH is there along with JK and a random guy and a girl. The room is also my bedroom. Having finished my character I lounge in bed listening to the others talking.

In a micro dream I am in a Star Wars themed space port. They have weird model helicopters and boats stuck on the wall. I see some kind of rollercoaster build in to the buildings as well.

The dream skips back to the earlier scene. Bedroom/Living room table.

My model lego quinjet is right next to the pillow and I accidently break it by resting my head on it. Part of the wing falls off and the cockpit. I reattach the broken bits and find lego Han Solo has stolen the quinjet.

Anyway Im desperate to sleep and suddenly hear AB in the next room, along with Star Wars mysic and assume she is watching The Force Awakens. I go ask her if she could turn the volume down a little. The music reduces in volume and I go back into the other room. The others pack up and leave, along with mysterious blonde girl.

After lying down to sleep a false awakening happens. There are people back in the bedroom talking. Also there is a cat and a large grey wolf. I study them and become lucid. Recalling the TOTM I walk through the bedroom wall. It goes slightly black for a moment then I end up in a hospital corridor. It seems deserted. I walk along to some kind of foyer and see my parents sitting in the waiting room. I wave and then run and do some parkour over the packed waiting room benches to get outside.

The car park has a chain fence running along it. I remember a personal goal to drive a tank through a city and decide this is a fence protecting an army base. I rip the fence down like its tin foil.

Inside is a weird white building that reminds me of a mission setting from MGS V. There are guys in military uniform hanging around chatting on the balconies. Possibly they are off duty. I decide to avoid them and try to fly over the building, because there are explosions and some kind of battle going on on the far side.

I try to use fast flying and after a slightly wobbly start launch up over the building. A battle is going on between several tanks. one looks like a small predator tank. I land on the roof, yank open the hatch and jump inside. Things switch to a first person view without any of the controls of the tank. Just as well cause Ive never been in a tabk and have no idea how to drive one. Instead it handles like a reasonably fast car. I head back towards town, following a road that is thinner than the tank but that doesnt matter. I see some vehicles and drive over them, smashing them up. And of course I fire the tanks main weapon off a few times in the direction of various buildings, watching them blow up in unrealistic Hollywood style. Vision goes a bit fuzzy and all visual sensations vanish but the feeling of movement continues.

The dream attempts to trick me with a false awakening. Nope.

I pinch my nose to confirm this is still a dream. The room looks bizarre anyway with stacks of orange boxes on shelves. The door leads into a hospital. Childrens ward. I quickly head through a few corridors to get out when a gorgeous red head catches my eye. Taking her hand I push into the closest room, which is a storeroom and filled with crap. I make a sweeping gesture to destroy it all.

For a moment I hesitate, just staring at her. A weird false memory suggests she is a coworker. (Nope). Also she looks about 18, dressed in green hospital scrubs but she looks to have a great body hidden under those not-so-flattering clothes. She waits patiently until I move in for a kiss, and she reciprocates. I have trouble with my trousers and have to look down to work out how to get them off. She is now holding up a mirror, reflecting the view of my privates back at me. Uh. That looks a bit wrong. I look from the mirror to my dream body and back. The reflection is not me its um... significantly wider, but my dream body seems normal.

On looking back up the mirror is now a laptop screen and the red haired woman is now inside the screen. Dammit. I try to enter the screen. "No! We'll be trapped!" she shouts. "You have to pull me out!"

I try to reach into the screen and grab her hand but can't get through. Frowning I try to get her back into the room with willpower. Her face starts getting dragged into the screen, some horrific special effects that nake it look like her face is dissolving into sand. She is screaming. Shit this isnt supposed to happen!

The scene fades. Can't leave things that!

Its another false awakening. An RC confirms it. I yank open the bedroom door searching for the red haired girl. She is waiting on the other side. She smiles weakly as I pull her into a tight hug and start appologising for what happened. She seems fine so we start kissing again and I get her top off this time. I'm trying to focus on giving her a good time since I still feel guilty about the whole ripping her apart through the screen thing.

I take my tshirt off and she looks at me with a slightly critical eye. Normally I wouldnt give a crap about my appearance but since this is about what she wants... "What?" I ask her.
"Kinda skinny." She says, stroking a hand down my abs.
"Ok, how about..."

My usual dream method of bulking up is to pull in some deep breaths and make some wrestler poses. "Hrrrrrrr! Rrrrrrrh!" This makes her giggle but seems to have the right effect. She seems quite happy with my new muscular physique. Following this we start to have sex but I get the feeling it isnt what she really wants.

We head outside to go flying. I take her hand and lift up into the sky. We head onto the roof of a tall building where there is loud music playing that seems familiar. I start rocking out and play air guitar. The girl is gone.

I head through the streets searching for her and run into a couple of thugs armed with knives who decide to try and rob me. Bad plan. As the first goes to stab me I slow time for him giving me plenty of time to block the strike and turn the knife back on him. The other guy steps in and I repeat this until they both have a couple of nasty knife cuts.

I wake up and consider trying to chain back in but think back on how long the dream has been and decide it might make me forget all this.

I Had a Dream Where, for some reason, i was parkouring around a busy city at nighttime. I slid down an escalator that led into what looked like an underground subway but when i got into the subway it wasn't a subway, it was an underground college Student Dorms. There seemed to be a party going on because there was a bunch of college students in the rooms ands hallways. While i running through the dorms everyone was saying hello to me, i said hello back to some people and i fist bumped and shook hands with other people. While running, i ran into a guy who wanted to pick a fight with me. I grabbed him by his ankle and started carrying him around the dorm hallways like he was weightless. I purposely knocked him into walls and doors while the other college students laughed at him. After a while, i came up with the conclusion to drop him off the roof (what roof? I dunno the dorms was underground) so i started carrying him up the stairs to the roof. Halfway up the stairs i stopped. I turned around to see a crowd of college students at the bottom of stairs looking at me as if they knew i intended to throw the guy i was carrying off the roof. Awkward silence. I then said to everyone "Well, looks like i'm gonna have to kill all of you before the night is over" THEN I SUDDENLY WOKE UP that was a weird but very satisfying dream.

It was nighttime and i was standing on a sidewalk, for some reason the street lamps were all off and the only light source was the moon's illumination. It must've been quite cold because i was wearing a hoodie, i was wearing gloves and i could see my breathe exhaling in front of me. I noticed a girl staring at me from across the street; she was also wearing a jacket, gloves, and a beanie. We both stood for a few moments just staring at each other before she started making her way towards me. She closed the distance between us, finally stopping directly in front of me. Both of us stood quietly in front of each other. She had her hands stuffed in her jacket pockets, Her hair was black, her skin was pale, and her eyes were staring directly into mine. She was beautiful. A moment of silence and stillness passed between us untill she finally took her hands out of her jacket and cupped both sides of my face. She took a step closer to me, Her face was now only inches away from mine, she was so close i could feel her breathing on me. Before i could get a grasp of what was happening She was was already kissing me. Her lips were warm and soft, her tongue was wet and it was wrestling with mine, and her hands gripped my face tightly as she continued kissing me. It was amazing. As we stood there on the sidewalk kissing i felt, to my horror, myself starting to wake up. I did'nt want to wake up, i wanted to stay. I wrapped my arms around her waist and embraced as much of her as i could. I was desperately kissing her back as i felt her fading away from me. The beautiful girl i was holding tightly onto was disappearing and at the same time I was slowly gaining consciousness, until finally i woke up. My room was still quite dark, so i must've woken up right before dawn. For some reason i was short of breath and i was sweating considerably. I could still feel her warmth on my lips. It felt so intense... So real. More real and intense than any kiss i've experienced before. That was, without a doubt, the most vivid dream i've ever had in my life. I sat up from my bed with an ache in my chest as the realization that it was all just a dream hit me like a speeding vehicle. It wasn't real... She wasn't real. The pain of her not being real was too much for me. I started crying. I've never cried before because of a dream. Wierd. It's been four days since i've dreamt of that girl. I can't get get her out of my head. It's as if i'm in love with her. Wow, isn't that sad? I'm in love with a girl that doesn't exist. Since that night i've been going to sleep with her on mind. I hope i see her again. Even if she's only in my head.

I just remember swimming in this wicked oily water stuff

I was in my room looking out of the window, and there was screaming like high pitched screaming and it was messing with me, I live by the woods so it was scary, I went to go for a walk back there but I was wearing these weird shoes that didn't look like shoes and then I was walking a trail with my friend and I see this with lady with long black hair and a pale face laughing demonically and screaming was behind her, I tried shooting but the bullets just dropped and turned big, she started flying towards us but still in the standing position and then I got to the store and the workers disappeared and that's it

dreamviews/safari ate my ENTIRE DJ ENTRY for today. Only re-posting one-sentence summaries for now:

bedtime: midnight

~ 5 hrs:

+ train

WBTB: 45 mins to 1 hour

+ LD#171 blimp ToTM Basic II (sky)

+ LD#172 paralyzed, sucked into sky, cartoon bridge

+ LD#173 "L" science museum, girls, kiss, ask to dance, kiss

BTS

+ (f) offering pizza to friends/guests in a house

+ caveman: oral attention to girl

After 2012 I began to lose interest, because I had no questions I wanted answered. I hit a wall so to speak. I am back. I have questions.

Morning of February 5, 2016. Friday.

Dream #: 17,945-05. Reading time: 2 min 12 sec.



I communicate with unknown people. Some of them are arrangements of objects that are not in one cluster, but I still perceive them in human form at times. A table lamp on the floor, books in a bookshelf, and a table leg may equate one person. Even though they seem sentient, an unfamiliar female thinks this type of supposed human is without life and does not have the same rights or ability to communicate.

I quickly climb an unusual structure (vestibular system adaptation). I am atop a big cage. At this level, open enclosures are on each side with spaces from them. Beyond the gap on one side at ground level, is an oversized leopard. Its oblong spots are longer than on a real leopard and its coat more of a brownish tint. I have a concern it could jump up to get to me, and it does. I bite the back of its neck and push it off the top of the cage. As it goes tumbling off, it bounces into another big wild cat which makes it angry. That one also jumps up to eat me. I bite it and throw it off backward.

Two big wild cats come up, one from each side (through each gap on each side). The one on my left seems like a tiger. I somehow bite both of them on the back of the neck in a short time and push them off. I do not seem to injure any of them.

I become part of an experiment using changes in DNA to make the test subjects more like prehistoric people. I am in a big mostly featureless field (at least one end with only high grass) in a rectangular fenced-in area. The others are all men and women who look like cave people from a cheaply made movie. They seem almost like modern humans on one level in that they remind me of a group of businessmen and secretaries. They want to pretend to have a business office even in this unusual setting requiring hunting and survival skills. For this and other reasons, the group annoys me. I pretend that I am “more primitive” than them by growling like an animal. I decide I will have no part of the controlled experiment or whatever it is and go to the opposite side of the fenced-in area where there is a big tree (the only shelter in the area) as well as different food plants. Meanwhile, I keep throwing long spears (which seem to come out of nowhere) at the group. I throw them like daggers, and they spin horizontally like helicopter rotors before reaching their target, either their neck or chest. (That is impossible as the spearhead would hit from its side not suddenly go forward into the target.)

There are about half (five or six people) of the group left. I plan on living on this side where the big tree is. There are a few animals, including a saber-tooth tiger resting in the shade of the tree. I am not threatened by it. It seems more natural and right than trying to live with the group. (They stay on the featureless side of the fenced-in area away from food and shelter.) I sense I will be the only one to survive.

---

Party!
I'm at a public party which is quite crowded. I'm standing at the bar with quite some other people. The MC asks the public if we should allow an audience member to rap. I shout yes. Now he passes me a mic and wants me to do it. What? No way man. He says he just asked who wanted to rap. I tell him that I thought he asked if he should let someone rap, not who wants to rap. He's still trying to make me do it. I feel pressured, but I'm not doing it.

The mc for the party is now a woman. She mentions a few times how we're now on Bali and the island just over there, which is also part of the party, is Java. Or perhaps the other way around. The party is coming to a close. As a way to drag it out she has someone/us throw a lot of fog or something alike into the air, so that both sections of the party are united within it and we can continue partying just a little bit longer. Somewhere in the distance I can see a historical building. A big, roman/greek style city hall or something. The colours of the light surrounding it are beautiful.

Ex
I'm on a big public square. I'm with my cousin, but he disappears off to somewhere. I run into my first ex-girlfriend. She jokingly makes a shitty comment. I take her bicycle and jokingly threaten to lift it over the poles and chains which are forming a barrier to the canals. She panicks and apologises. We walk back again. She comments on how easily I lifted her bike up. I tell her it's no biggie. I lift her bike with just my right arm. I purposefully use my right arm cause that is my stronger arm. I'm glad I chose to do so, cause feeling the weight of the bicycle, I think it would've been a bit challenging to lift it with my left arm. She seems impressed by my strength and I'm liking the attention. We end up back somewhere on the middle of the square with her boyfriend. We start walking off the square. Once we're off it, they start walking in another direction. Ow yeah, he lives in Amsterdam, so they're staying quite close. Lucky them. I go back to find my cousin.

Peanut butter mint & wetness
I'm walking around somewhere. A conversation that I had with a friend is still playing in my head, though so vividly that it almost seems like I'm having the conversation right now. He keeps asking me customs related stuff and what would happened if they would question a mutual friend of ours who he is apparently involved with and who isn't very bright. After a while I tell him that I don't have a clue, as I never have to deal with customs. I'm slightly annoyed. I'm walking around a building which is quite modern. I am myself about to get on an airplane to wherever. I stop somewhere near a gate, though I know it isn't the gate that I need to go to. I just want to eat for a moment. I take my big black & orange backpack and take some bread out of it. The flavour is a combination of peanutbutter and mint. A guy who doesn't really seem to do security, but does have some position of authority, tells me that I'm not allowed to eat here. I apologise and move to an area a bit further back. He tells me that in this area it's also not allowed and he tells me where I am allowed to eat. At one point he mentions that this isn't a fucking cafeteria. I feel slightly offended by his choice of words. I was cooperating fully, so I don't feel I deserved that lashing out.

I'm somewhere semi-outside. There's still a roof over this area, but it's not really inside. It's a sort of foodcourt area, though all I see are the benches and tables. So many places are taken. I sit down at perhaps 2 different spots, but every time it was already taken and someone had just stood up for a moment. Finally I decide to go to a chair/bench which is covered in water. I wipe the water away with the sleeve from my vest/jacket/something and I sit down. I feel the cold wetness of the water.

I found myself in a Fallout 4 style landscape. I, like everyone else around me found ourselves in a state of panic and determination to get somewhere safe. Every turn there were gangs standing on the streets waiting to rob civilians. I can into a group of 4 or 5 african american men wearing worn jeans and sports shirts. Some had red bandanas. I jumped over a cliff side after being persues by their shouts and agressive taunts. Luckly the hill was not to steap and I was able to run down it without tripping. It felt like a video game with the lack of realistic off balance one would have when going up down and side to side on a hill. I was a curvy street stretching down the side of the rocks ground with the dried out grass. The road I was starting to follow had first a gang of 5 men standing and sitting on a car and second a large home. This house was something you would see out of a Series of Unfortionate Events Movie or a home owned by an old woman living in Georgia post 1800's.

I snuck around the men and entered the home from the back right side. You know that feeling when you go to a college party for the first time freshman year with friends you have only recently met? The smell of cigarettes and un mopped food and tile floors. This was that. I saw farmiliar faces but none could I put a name on. I simply passed through the house like a ghost. No one really noticed me or saw me. Finally, I got to the back left of the house where all of the attractive girls, wearing black, hair straightened, and wearing their kardashian lipstick. They huddled together in small groups. 1, which I will never forget was three girls against the window and the side wall. 2 were sitting down embracing eachother infront of a giant red pillowed heart on the wall. They faced a girl taking their picture on her phone. The second group was four girls, not friendly at all, sitting with eachother talking but never allowing themselves to be face to face. They talked and looked out into the large room. smalled groups were off to the sides and middle of the floor but were of no interest to me.
I finally ran into a friend(who? I dont know) but she and I knew eachother as friends. She was with another guy and they were rubbaging through the kitchen trying to find supplies. They would never tell me what they were looking for and only assumed I knew why they were looking. I did.

It was the end of days and the beginning of something terrible. 5% of the people I saw were trying to prepare, 60% were getting ready to kill and take everything from everyone, and 35% were living their lives like nothing was going to happen.

I only remember leaving the house shortly after my friends preceaded up stairs while the gangsters from our side came into the building. They did not know weather to kill and take everything from everyone or join the party. Aimlessly looking around I snuck past them and back into the barren wasteland. Waiting for what was to come.

#17

Shadow Stuff & Transformations

[Fragment #1] I found myself in a maroon colored atmosphere in a school-like setting. There was a skinny African guy and some tall brawny Caucasian man talking in a room behind glass. The Caucasian man spotted me and was coming out to approach me. I wanted to get away but he caught me and asked if I would find the guy "messed up in the head" if he told me a secret about him. The other guy was yelling, "NO NO NO! STOP!" And then I replied to the brawny man;

MobianAngel: "I wouldn't care if he was to stick a finger up his ass and eat the shit that came out of it. I just don't care! Hell, my fiancé is a psychopathic murderer who eats babies and likes violence! Do you honestly think I would care about what he does?"

[Fragment #2] There was a girl by the van of the African man's whose balloon began to float up into the air. I went to get it and tried to tie the small bit of string onto her backpack but it flew away once again and she cried.

[Fragment #3] There was a place in a kind of mall-like shape where people could walk in and their bodies would change to be other creatures as they will gain the powers of the respective individual. There was a section for boys and one for girls. I remember the girls having mermaid transformations and some sort of lancer that can electrify the floor with a electricity infused lance.

[2/4/2016] All I can remember is running outside of the house because my mother pissed me off and it was raining. The parking lot was exceedingly large and my Shadow the Hedgehog plush was clinging onto me as if it were alive and it would not let go.

Dream Goal For February

Spoiler for February 2016 Goal:

Goal: Have a lucid dream about Shadow the Hedgehog and have sex with him.

Extended Information

Spoiler for Extended Information:

• Date — 2/3/2016 & 2/4/2016

• Went to bed — N/A

• Woke up — N/A

• Total sleep — N/A

• Stress level throughout the day — N/A

• Techniques/Practices:

*Daytime — N/A

*Bedtime — N/A

*Recall — N/A

• Dream(s):

*Time logged — N/A

*Vividness (1-5) — N/A

*Awareness — N/A

*Perceived Length — N/A

*Emotions — N/A

*Dream Signs — N/A

Notes/Summary

Spoiler for Notes/Summary:

Notes/Summary — N/A

So the bad news is that I'm pretty sick at the moment. In fact, I woke up about 5 times last night for about 30 minutes each last night. Though it really sucks because I should be finishing my thesis right now, but my brain is pretty much too fried to concentrate. The good news (I suppose) is that I get some really interesting, vivid dreams when I'm sick (even if they're not lucid), and most (if not all) tend to have a very grungy theme to them. Words don't really do it justice, but the experience is pretty interesting - dirty landscapes, dystopian futures, chance of death around every corner. Fun stuff. So until I get better, the next few nights will be known as Grungefest 2016 (unless I get sick again later this year *knocks on wood*).

I'm in this video game that's a mix between Prop Hunt, Call of Duty: Zombies, and the Hunger Games. The basic premise: me and a couple other people are trying to survive in a rundown building by finding several items we need to escape. But a ton of bad guys are trying to kill us, and they have the power to transform into any object. They are often even known to transform into other humans to gain your trust before killing you.

Right now, I'm going around with my boss, trying to find a safe that will be unlocked by a key we just found. After checking the map several times, we finally find the marked location - a broken down cubicle in a dilapidated office complex. There's a safe on the desk, so I try opening it with my key. The key turns, but not all the way, so I can't open it. "Uh, Chad, this key isn't working."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I've tried it just about every way I can. Try looking around, there's got to be another safe around here."
"Uh, don't look now, but there's a cabbage behind you..."
I freeze. Cabbages are one of the favorite transformations of the hunters. They're small, inconspicuous, and heck, no one pays attention to cabbages. I slowly turn around to get a look for myself. There, in the windowsill, is a large green ball.
"Dude, that's a watermelon. It's totally fine. Hunters can't turn into watermelons."
"Yes, but they can turn into Bill Murray."
Outside the window by the watermelon, I can make out the silhouette of Bill Murray in the darkness. He has a very creepy smile, and I immediately get scared that he might come inside. Both me and Chad run off.

Much later, I'm outside the main building, having just found one of the required items to escape. I'm walking back to headquarters, when a guy in a gorilla suit tackles me, takes my item, and runs off. I give chase, but he jumps on a motorcycle and starts to drive away. He starts to get away, but I notice he mostly stays on the sidewalk, so I cut across the grass, running at a surprisingly fast pace, until I cut him off up ahead. I jump and grab hold of the handlebars, pushing the guy in the gorilla suit out of the way. He unfortunately doesn't fall off completely, but instead manages to grab onto my leg as I drag him along. He laughs. "You've made your last mistake." I immediately know what he means - he's one of the hunters. He pulls out a very large vial with what I assume is poison and stabs it into my leg. I slowly feel my entire leg go numb, followed by the rest of my body. As the world around me fades to black, I hear him laugh one more time. "Nighty night..."

All I see around me is darkness, and in the middle before I wake up I see in white, bold letters, "Game Over".

Whatever I was dreaming, I think I was in a warehouse and then it ended with a even more intense version of Ian Curtis singing "Digital"; "Feel it closing in day in, day out..." and he sounded even more intensely scared/messed up/depraved/something than he did when he sang that song while he was alive.

I'll type out the amusing failure part. the rest is probably not understandable and definitely not interesting.

a guy said something to me about dreams and i said "what if were dreaming right now? how would you know?" and i felt a bit cool about saying that because he was confused and was like "wuuut... am i dreaming?" but i didnt get lucid.

[URL="http://imgur.com/a/f9OB1"]entry 3 and 4[/URL]

things learned: vertical paper is better and dont wait too long to journal, memories get lost FOREVER. keep the paper by your bed so its easier to get; im very lazy right after waking up

also, the scanner isnt scanning the full page. but i dont care.