All DJ Entries

Fragment

I recall a really colorful fragment. I was at a beach, watching a beautiful sunset. It all looked like it was painted.

First dream

I was in a city, in some kind of government building. I was waiting for something, sitting on a bench in a corridor. I was masturbating until people appeared in the corridor for their break. I wanted to go up to the toilet, but the stairs were really steep. I decided to go outside for a short walk and find a better place to finish. I wandered the alleys close to the building - there were some old buildings, they were a bit rundown but had their charm. One of them looked great, with ornamented wooden door that had a small, crystal window. The building had brown gambrel roof. There were several trees of pseudotsuga species planted in front of it.

Second dream

I was in home. I went outside and met with my family and some other people I knew. Someone wanted to meet me, but I tried to go back into house. Others closed door inside, so I went out. My brother was doing something, so I decided to help him. He wanted me to bring him a chain so he could chain up a machine of some kind. I knew that it'd be inside toolbox in fathers tractor. I went to check it and there was none. Suddenly I found myself in front of the tractor, which was turned on. Someone tried to hit me with it, though couldn't as I dodged it, then jumped on it to see who was inside. It was my father.

to bed late (not by choice), ~1am

+ team-based conflict. Sabotage: one guy used an incendiary clicking device to attempt to ignite the underground gas lines via the electrical outlets and blow up several city blocks. "You can't escape" he called out. I ran anyway. Through a door, a guy far stronger than me was pursuing, but I had prepared a small pitch-fork just outside the door and picked it up and stabbed him putting him on the ground, and I called for reinforcements and they beat him up on the ground.

+ (f) returning to the cages, a tiny (female?) dog had been rewarded and entered the cage of my old dog "L". L came along later?

alarm @ 5.5 hrs, very tired, got family member up, back to bed. Alarms are terrible for recall. I had to reach to remember the above.

eventually summoned the will to stop following random thought chains and implement my Back To Sleep Mojo (tm) with the intent of lucid dreams. It worked again

BTS mojo: start with deep breathing. Totally relax and let go of everything: tension, thoughts, all trying and effort. There is a very special "sinking" feeling for a moment at the end of a long exhale when you successfully let go of tension and start to sink deeper. What I do then is try to hold on to that "deep sinking" feeling, including during inhales and exhales. While breathing, I sometimes imagine I'm breathing through my "3rd eye" in the middle of my forehead. Breathing in dream energy and breathing out tension and thoughts. HI may begin during this time. Try not to focus on them, but simply remain lightly aware of them.

+ I'm walking outside in an apartment complex (small, 2 story) in between buildings. It is dark (early morning I think). I hear a sound to the left and look up and see a man through a large sliding glass door [DREAM SIGN], he's doing remodeling in his apartment. He's using a scraper on the glass door, and it's really squeaky and noisy, I think it's rude to be doing that at this early hour, it could bother the neighbors.

The building on the right of me also has a glass wall on the 2nd floor apartment, I know there's a woman in there I'd like to sneak a peek at. I'm staying below the window and trying to remain unseen. (The light comes on?) I sense she's walking around in her robe. I hide under the overhang, and her legs in the reflection of the glass via a building to the left. I think that means she may be able to see me, too.

At one point my wife comes out and I try to hide but she sees me, she's in her bathing suit I guess she's going for a swim/sauna, but she doesn't suspect me.

LD#176 (2/10 goal for LDs for remainder of Feb)
I felt sure I was waking lucid in "my room" in the dark. The room seemed right. I sit up on the side of my bed, and notice vague bits of furniture about, including an alarm clock? [false]. I have a small bit of trouble maneuvering out of bed, but made it OK. Decided to head outside and fly into the night sky and explore the city at night and have fun. Pretty high awareness, and very clear. I get outside and look up at the sky. I think the stars were "beautiful" but in retrospect they were pixelated like computer graphics, and the sky was rather gray not black. The stars were swirling around the sky a bit, interesting. I went to take off flying into the sky and I hear suddenly and unexpectedly a very creepy male voice behind me that startled me and freaked me out a bit, he barked out some statement that I didn't understand. I took off and looked behind me and very very clear and vividly saw two guys on top of the roof of a building. I circled around to go fight them. summoned my lightsaber in to my hand, at first it was the size of a pen with tiny little bumps on each end like a miniature dumbbell from the gym. I reached over with my right hand and "pulled" it which extended it, at first too large, then pushed back a bit and got it to be the perfect size. landed, hit the "on" button expecting awesome sound and visuals (but they were kind of weak like usual), and started fighting. There were several opponents and more coming it seems. Tried force lightning on a 3rd guy who came on me from the right: extended my right arm straight and made a "claw" with my fingers, but managed only a few sparks at best. impaled several guys with the blade at close distance with lunges, one in the chest, one in the face. several good swipes, but just not the vivid blade and effects that I want. There was a bit of resistance to swinging the blade, like swinging a sword in water.
I'm losing the fight, they're getting their attacks in close to me. The main opponent almost got a swing (he had a lightsaber too I think) to land on me, I had to sacrifice my saber to block it and then jumped backwards off of a pier to escape. In the distance in the water some people are standing on a platform.
I climb back up on to the pier a bit away from the fight and look at who's here. It's sort of an open area, looks like a party is going on. Right in front of me, my attention is grabbed right away by a lovely blonde woman in a sexy, revealing, white evening dress. Her hair is in a medium-length braid down her back, and her right side is facing me.

Spoiler for sexy time, explicit:

I approach her and notice as I'm approaching that she's naked underneath her dress, and see that she has a nice patch of blonde public hair. This gives me a "zing" because true blonde pubes are really rare. As I approach her she is now sitting on a bench with her legs slightly open, and I'm kneeling down in front of her. She is looking at me and giving me a playful smirking smile. She is naked now from the waist down and I get a great view of her very substantial bush which is a large triangle of thick, but short-cropped blonde curlies. I tell her "Excuse me, but you have the most beautiful hairy p***y I've ever seen!" She shifts down a bit making her (ahem) fully available to me, and I dive in for oral. It is an exquisite moment: I feel the moist, warm, flesh of her cleft for a few seconds before

the dream fades.

Fragment
> Had a very unpleasant dream in which I had to catch a train and my mom would bring me by car, but I was fighting verbally with her and perhaps some other family members who were present. Time was running out fast as well. I had 5 minutes left to catch the train.

> I was meeting a slightly older woman to interview her for something. We're both seated on stools quite close to each other, behind a long desk. There are some other people in the room as well. I'm trying to take notes, but this paper and this red pen are ridiculous. I need something else. The woman comes really close to me and she's flirting with me. We both want this, but with her colleagues here this isn't the right time.

Party
I'm driving (not sure what vehicle I'm using) in the evening, towards a party of my friend Ant. A birthday party perhaps? It's somewhere in a city. I'm starting to think that I was driving a moped. Some other people also arrive. My aunt and my little brother. I check the invite / FB event and Ant cancelled / rescheduled it about 30 minutes ago to another day. Nice timing... I tell my aunt and little brother. My aunt is definitely ready to leave again. I wanna check the inside of the building and tell them I'll just be 1 minute, knowing it'll probably take longer. My little brother joins me. We end up in a sort of bouncy castle type of thing, which is pretty neat.

Order
I'm somewhere outside in the evening. It's in a city. The mood is slightly rebellious and reminds me of the NYE in Köln. A girl with long black hair who is definitely younger than I am starts bothering me. I'm not sure what she does, but after a while I start going after her while she runs away. An older looking Arabic male tells me to leave her alone. She's a good person like him, cause they're both from North Iran/Iraq. What the.. no! That you're both from the same country doesn't make both of you good people. Matter of fact, I don't even know if you're a good person. At some point while talking to this man, who seems like he won't budge, I feel my pockets to check if my wallet and phone are still there. They are, but shit now this guy knows exactly where they are. I'm on the move again.

I enter a small classroom. There are a few rows of dark wooden benches, enough to fit perhaps 25 people at most if you cram. Outside it's busy as hell, inside there are just a few people. This is a select group of people, something along the lines of Order of the Kingdom. Princess Beatrix is heading this meeting. We're here to think about ways to defeat IS. It feels quite personal, as if they've just attacked a Dutch city. The door to this room keeps getting opened. People are curious what's going on in here. At one point the door is open for a while. Eventually two people are allowed to join. The first is a man in his 40's, with streaks of grey in his beard. He looks like he's earned the reputation to be here. The other is my classmate Chris. I'm now sitting/lying in what seems like the windowsill, in a quite relaxed position, nothing you'd do in front of the princess. I'm wearing a purple V-neck T-shirt. I tell her I've got an idea, but it's going to be very longterm and might not even work. I'm not sure if it's a good plan. Basically there are at least 3 ways to do damage to them: kill them, make sure they don't attract new members and... ? My proposal is that we need to prevent people living in the countryside from joining them in the cities by taking care of the water supply. I'm not sure if the dream lasted long enough for me to fully explain all that.

[URL="http://imgur.com/a/rnSaI"]paper 9[/URL]

2 A5-sized entries on 1 A4 page

i also had the nightmare with my mom in which i couldnt tell whether i was dreaming or not. i looked at my phone and did the nose plug but detected nothing strange. i wasnt very clear minded.

I am in the living room flying around with some of my friends. I am a demi-god and we are trying to figure out which god is my favorite. Because of the way I am flying my friends tell me that my god parent's name starts with a T. They seem very excited about this. Then I see this lady that is stuffing these perfect looking snowballs into a little cubby hole where the fireplace usually is. She is shoving them in really fast, so me and my sister close out the cubby hole and throw all the snowballs outsideas though they are dangerous. Then we go out into the garage. I am going to be in a Harry Potter movie. Someone says "Anyone in the new Harry Potter movie come over here!" J.K. Rowling is there and I am joking with her. But she doesn't seem to be very happy. I would describe her as dull in this scene.
I am at a wedding, and I notice that the people getting married are lesbian. Then I see Matthew Lewis and ask him if we can get a picture together. He is very friendly and agrees, but we don't have a camera. I consent to just asking for his autograph, which he willingly gives. It is not a very good autograph, barely more than a scribble.
I am at a lunch table with my friends. Then I notice someone who looks like Hayley from Bratayley. I realize that both Annie a and Hayley are there, so I move down the table to talk with them. Annie is acting really sad and ignoring me.

Answering a queen's summons, I kneel before her throne and wait. Eventually, I realize she's ignoring me. Just wanted to see me kneel. That's fine. I think of an old mentor, a meditation style holding one position for hours, and settle in to be here for a while. I can hear her advisors talking to her, two nervous men with high voices pointing out that I'm waiting, using a title for me. But I'm aware she's angry about her son.

When she finally acknowledges me, she says she wants something I'd once promised her. I tell her she's welcome to it.

I'm in college, but not in class. Just goofing off, when the dean or guy in charge comes to find me. He tells me they're kicking me out of school, for several reasons, chief among them being my grades. I'm a little shocked, but then again, I can't even remember the last time I was in class. I gather up my belongings from the building, of which there are a surprising amount, and leave.

On my way home, I see some people swimming at the whirlpool. It looks awesome, and I really want to join them, but I don't want to leave my stuff unattended. I figure I'll head home and drop it off first, but then I see a bunch of guys tubing at night, with torches and bonfires all along the river. My stuff can wait, this is too cool.

I head over and there are some people fishing. I talk to them, and one of them is using what looks like a giant wine glass as a bobber. When a fish bites, it tilts the glass over.

I absolutely HATE dreams where I'm worried about my possessions. really gets in the way of a good time.

Met some good old boys at the rapids down by the Bonnechere caves this summer. They told me they have night parties where they light bonfires all long the sides of the river for night swimming. The idea really took hold in my mind.

2/16/2016

I was at my neighbours house at my summer cottage. I knew that my cottage was behind me but I did not go over there. I was sitting there thinking about something. Then I am in a bathroom and there are two people in the shower. They are clothed. But I only know one of them from school. It end.

I was boarding a train with my dad and brother. We are out in the middle of nowhere, I think South Dakota. It’s a freight train with freight. I am worried as to why we are boarding this train. It’s an open top when I board and when, later in the trip, it is suddenly closed and there is someone else in there. It was very weird. While riding, there is now a top, and there is someone in there telling us about something that I don’t know. Then, it transitions to where we are waiting for a train to go by. I tell my dad that the red light means that we have to stop and we are on the side track to wait for a train to go by. Then the train goes by and there are many gas tanks on it. I tell him that the orange light means to be ready to stop and we go on. Then, when we slow down for an intersection. I get out of the now open car, and it seems as though we are in a desert. With a small town by us. I walk in the small town for a few steps and then suddenly I am in a car, driving into the town. It is now dusk. I am now in this little apartment of some sorts and it is dark. There are two people that I know from school there and they like having me there. It ends.

No LD’s tonight.

16/2/16:
I woke up at about 2 am with 5 or 6 little fragments but I didn't write them down and promptly forgot them haha. Anyway when I woke up again I had a couple of dreams.

Dream 1: I was playing some sort of tcg. There were 6 classes and one of them had just gotten a new hero and some new rare cards, so I was taking a look at all that. I think I played a game of it and was going to lose but I had some special power which saved my ass.

Dream 2: I was at an athletics competition like when I was younger when I ran into a girl who used to do it ages ago (supposedly according to my dream hah) I ran over to her and talked to her, we got to walking around the field together talking. Some people pointed at us and laughed but I didn't really car. We eventually got to the other side of the track where she said goodbye and left.

Fragment about basketball I think.

I'm riding a horse, pushing it to run through an old, decaying city of stones. It's build over water, and we have to jump over water canals to reach my objective. It's a tower of crumbling stones, half covered with wines. I get off my horse and get in.
It's not abandonned; in fact, there are people here, a family. They furnished the house with drapes, flowing veils and scattered cushions, all very colorful and standing out again the gray stones. It does little to protect us from the damp, chilly atmosphere, but it's cheerful. I get up some crumbling stairs, ending up in a bedroom with one of the wall destroyed, opening into a breath taking vista of the lake the city is build on. I feel tired, and lay down on some cushions.
I wake up from the panicked call of the mother of the house, begging me to take her daughter and flee. I get up and slip on a bright blue t-shirt big enough to dress a lumberjack and pull the girl with me to the fallen wall. She doesn't thing twice and jump in the lake. I take a more safe approch and climb down the wall before getting into the water. My plan is to swim discreetly to the border of the town, where my horse is waiting.

Ritual: Yesterday was full of work and stress, conditions that I have previously correlated to vivid dreaming. I worked until going to bed at 2am. Woke at 5am to feed the cat, then again at 6am after a dream that culminated in an experience of intense frustration, vivid enough that I spent around 45 minutes writing it down—an unintended but useful WBTB. Since today will also be very busy I did not do any other lucid practices, however, I had primed myself a little by reading the list of TOTYs last night. Apart from those conditions, the following dream was spontaneous, and I woke from it at around 8:45am.

DILD: I am at my mother's house, but it is unlike any WL house. I am in a long room with high ceilings, very spacious and sparsely furnished, with no modern accoutrements. Maybe it is the medieval look of the interior that reminds me of the TOTYs, and I become lucid. Which would be a good one to do? Fairy would be easier to do outdoors. I could turn into a dragon but then I'd have to destroy everything and I don't want to wreck my mother's house. Phoenix? That would be a good one. I try to remember the details. I can't just summon it directly, I have to burn something, right? I look around the room for something suitable.

On the far end of the room is a table under a shuttered window. The table is covered with a white cloth, and spread across it is an assortment of jewels and precious stones. These look ideal. I select a faceted gem and place it in my left palm. It is small, only about six millimeters across, transparent with cobalt blue striations, like a combination of diamond and sapphire. It is faceted into what I think of as a classic gem shape. [According to online sources, this is simply called a "round" cut.] I walk slowly across the room back toward the couch where my mom is sitting, concentrating on the stone and willing it to catch fire. The stone feels inert in my hand, and I feel that I have chosen the wrong one. From the coloring, this stone is clearly attuned with ice, not fire. I should go back and pick a different one.

I return to the table and find a small stone of matte earthy red color. This is more a mineral than a gem, and it is shaped like a narrow lozenge, almost a centimeter long, pointed at the ends, and only a few millimeters wide in the middle. I begin to will it into flame, but immediately have second thoughts. The stone is so skinny and small, it would probably make a scrawny phoenix. I go back to the table to look for a better one.

I decide to find a gem that could pass for a phoenix egg, examine the options more carefully, and finally come across a good-sized stone around three centimeters across. It is also matte and reddish, but a generous oval in shape, and the top is composed of randomly assorted rounded protrusions, like bubbles. The bottom has been leveled off and already set into a metal frame. I decide that this one is ideal, put it in my left palm, and begin to invoke fire in earnest. Around this time my mom tries to talk to me about doing some household chore but I hush her: "Not now, I'm busy."

The stone resists at first, but I do not let myself doubt my ability to do this. I've summoned fire in my palm before. This time I'm just transmuting it from a substrate. I will a flame to emerge from the stone and soon it does—but I notice that in the process, the stone has transformed into a candle. The candle is larger than the stone, filling my hand. It is a 6cm tall cylinder and is conveniently fitted in a round container. Between the candle and the sides of the container is what looks like a filling of crumpled dry grass.

The flame is burning on the wick in the ordinary way, and I will it to expand and consume the whole candle, turning it into the phoenix I am trying to create. For a moment it burns quietly, but then the whole object transforms again. Briefly I seem to be holding a bundle of smoldering dried grass, around a foot in diameter, until the whole thing explodes and violently flies apart, patches landing in various places around the room. Failure? I'd better check the remains.

I wander around to a couple of the smoking remnants, but see nothing notable. I remember that I need to keep my expectations high, so as I walk toward a third, larger patch, I anticipate finding a baby phoenix. Sure enough, when I prod at the charred dried grass, underneath I discover a tiny, long-necked, bird-like creature! The phoenix has hatched! But it is it skinny and completely limp. What can I do to help? As a creature of fire, I reason, it must need heat. It is probably freezing to death.

I gently pick up the baby bird, which drapes across my hands with no sign of life, and take it to the fireplace. Luckily there is already a good fire burning. There is a kind of metal chain screen separating the fire from a metal grate on the hearth. Sprawled on the grate, soaking up the heat, is a long iguana-like lizard that I had previously noticed on the table when I was selecting jewels. I figure it must be a salamander, with the same need for warmth as my new phoenix. Should I place the phoenix in the fire directly, or on the grate? Since my hypothesis about the wisdom of putting the phoenix in the fire is as yet untested, I decide to lay it on the grate in case I need to remove it quickly.

The experiment goes well. As soon as I lay the baby phoenix next to the fire, its body begins to perk up and fill out. It grows until it resembles a toucan in shape and size, though red in color and with a sleeker bill. Success! But was there more to the task? I can't remember if we were also supposed to fight something, and figure I'd better do that as well as long as I can maintain dreamstate. "Let's go fight something!" I say to the newborn phoenix, and it hops up on my shoulder.

I head past the table with the jewels and open the window in the end wall. The window is a square aperture about three feet on a side, fastened with a single wooden shutter. The shutter is hinged on one side, flush with the wall when closed, and opens inward to the left. This truly resembles a medieval house in that there is no glass in the window, so it is easy to climb up and out. I pause on the sill and bid the phoenix to fly on ahead. Meanwhile, I hang up the long metal hook that I used to open the shutter so that I can grab it when I come in later, then use another device that resembles a hook attached to a wire loop to suspend myself from the sill and ease the drop to the ground, which is far enough below that it requires some precaution. I have the feeling that I have done this many times before.

Once on the ground, I look around for someone or something to fight. I am on a grassy lawn that extends between a number of different buildings. The buildings themselves don't leave a distinct architectural impression—I wish I had taken a closer look. Instead I was scanning the ground between them, but all I see are ordinary people walking about, none of whom seem like suitable opponents. I don't want to be an unprovoked aggressor.

The dream begins to fade. I worry that the abrupt transition to a different space might have unbalanced it, and I immediately take steps to stabilize, falling on my knees and examining the details of the grass while running my hands over it for texture. For a moment the grass turns grey and although I see all the usual plants among it, like clover, everything looks unusually small. But then a voice hails me from above and the dreamstate resumes its integrity: "Do you want to fight?" I promptly agree.

I am facing a man who is accompanied by a creature resembling a muscular, short-haired white dog. The man has a sword, and immediately begins to strike at me. Although I am unarmed, I find that I am able to parry his blows with my hands without too much discomfort. I suspect that I could turn the fight to my advantage if I want, but the whole point of this exercise was to fight in tandem with the phoenix. Where is that bird? "Phoenix? Phoenix!" I call anxiously.

The blade keeps falling, and I keep catching it and pushing it aside, but luckily the dog is hanging back for now. Suddenly to my relief the phoenix swoops in, aiming a stream of fire at the dog. More gouts of flame follow, consuming the man and dog, but they do not go down easily. I watch the phoenix, who has now taken human form, take a blade right through his stomach, angling up toward his chest. It is an unmistakably lethal blow, and I run over to him as he falls. I feel guilty for having put him in this predicament—but recall that for a phoenix, there should be a way to fix this.

Looking around frantically, I am pleased to discover a fireplace in my immediate vicinity. Nevermind the unlikelihood of finding a fireplace outdoors; it is just what I need so I don't question it. I drag the phoenix, currently in the form of a slim Asian boy, over to the hearth and dump him directly onto the flames. I expect the fire to heal him; instead he begins screaming as his skin burns and chars. It is horrifying, but I hold him down as he struggles—he was dying already, this is the only thing that might help. Maybe this is how it is supposed to work. A phoenix has to die to be reborn, right? The human body blackens and burns away. Sure enough, in its place I find a little baby bird, looking much like it did initially but yellow instead of red this time. I wonder if its pale color means it needs to eat. The bird pecks at some morsel of food near the fire and I try to tempt it with something better. "Here, eat a hot one." I pluck an olive-sized piece from a row of snacks baking in the fireplace (I don't feel the heat, just as I didn't feel pain from the sword earlier) and offer it directly. The little bird compliantly swallows the morsel, growing in size and turning red again.

I feel that I have completed the task to satisfaction, so even before I wake up I begin reviewing the details, making sure I commit them to memory. There is a moment when I am back in the same house as the beginning of the dream and ask someone to remind me the name of the guy I fought. "Ziggy Starduster and the Hoarfrost," comes the reply. I note that they definitely said "Starduster," not "Stardust." Since I only hear rather than see the names, I briefly wonder if the dog's name is spelled "Whorefrost" or "Hoarfrost," but decide that the latter is more appropriate on a number of levels.

Bed @ 2315 /w half melatonin
Woke @ 0350 (~4.5 hours)

Taking a cruise
I'm on a cruise, sitting at a table with Chris and two other guys I know (no idea who). Chris is recounting one of the doctrinal rabbit hole discussions I recently took him down. Now I'm in the next room over refilling my plate. I don't want to miss the conversation, but I'm really hungry, and I should be able to be quick enough to not miss much. I realize there's some event I'm supposed to be at that starts at 10:30, and it's almost 10:30 now; but since Chris is running the event, and since Chris is still sitting and talking, I should be OK. Most of the food is already gone, but I'm able to grab some wedges of cheese and some lettuce. The lettuce won't do me much good, but cheese is good and filling. Now I'm back at the table eating my lettuce. The ribs are a bit browned, so I'm tearing the tender part of the leaf off of the rib before eating it and discarding the rib. I feel a bit silly eating whole lettuce leaves by themselves, but no one notices, and I'm so hungry that I just don't care.

Now the ship is back in port, and I'm standing on deck talking to someone about how the trip went. I tell him that the trip was generally pretty good, but there were some rough parts - especially a nasty storm in which we actually lost a mast. I only heard about the mast falling third hand, but the guy I'm talking to actually saw it happen.


Falling tree
A large crowd of adults and children from church is walking along a sidewalk. Up ahead, a few people have already reached the crosswalk and are waiting to cross. I hear a loud crack and somehow know that a tall tree across the road is the one that broke, despite seeing no obvious sign. Sure enough, it comes crashing down across the road, stopping mere inches from Clayton and Rebecca. She looks very shaken up and starts walking home with her sons. I notice that she's wearing a colored long-sleeved shirt and some fairly tight jeans.


Fragment: I'm thinking about how hard it would be to take the kids to visit England. I "remember" being in a trans-Atlantic plane and having to go through a narrow tunnel to reach the "pod" in which I spent the flight and consider that our kids couldn't be alone in pods, that we'd have to be with them, but that they're so small that we'd be curled up with no space to move. I'd probably have to read stories for 7 hours, and there's no way my voice would last that long.

BTB @ 0400 /w half melatonin
Woke @ 0600 (alarm). No recall.


Nap time (1400-1530):

Driving with my daughter
I'm in the gray van with my oldest daughter, doing some kind of maintenance. Now the car is rolling along the road, and she's behind the wheel. I reach over to start the engine, but she's already pressing the gas pedal. I tell her to stop pressing it and am surprised when the sound of the car changes - I guess it's like the A/C or the vent, that even with the engine off the car can move itself, but it probably drains the batteries really quickly. With the gas pedal no longer depressed, I start the engine, and my daughter resumes driving. I hadn't planned to teach her to drive so early (she's only 10), but she's doing a great job. I wonder what my wife will say when we get home.

Now I'm sitting on the second row, and she's sitting in the passenger seat. I can't understand why she would have moved over to leave the car out of control, but she says that she's doing <something> and that everything's OK, she still has control.

Context: before going to bed I watched Trancendence. I was wandering whjat would happen if I try to build an AI, what would happen if the AI was able to reproduce, maybe a little mathmatical nonsense to this and the idea of all possible thoughts. Here is how it turned out:

Once in the dream I tried shaping a small unit, like a singele neuron, only difference: I tried to model it so big, that I could see it. I used a „thin tube“ as input and several larger tubes an an output, different thickness, being a higher prabability of conducting something like water poured into it. Concept seemed to work, constructs of larger size were able to solve „simple“ tasks like the TSP pretty well. Problem is, this modelling in RL would be a heck of work, slow, unpractical. Conclusion: I need to model more neural networks of different kinds, maybe one is RL applicable… well so much for this result of my dream.
Second I imagined a world where I supposed about every 6th part oft he soil was usable for constucting the robot I tried to set free. Only task: gather recources, reproduce. Given a slow circle to reproduce, the whole plain I was standing on was destroyed in a few minutes.
Memo to myelf: never ever let a robot build itself from corbon, oxigon or silicon… bad idea.
Next one I tried the Banach-Tarski-paradox. This enables you (in theory) to duplicate points in the 3rd dimension. It actually is quite fun to watch in a LD how it specifically works. Sad thing, this is not possible in RL…
Last one: the idea of the ending for Trancendence. I spend some time working out the details. The end is, (stop reading if you wanna avoid spoilers) yes, we can in the best case destroy an all powerful singularity, but maybe that’s not even the smartest thing to do. Sometimes external things know what’s best for us, better than we ever could. Like in politics, really:
We always cry, as soon as change hppens. Maybe we need to get a little more open minded.
With this I do not mean, we should accept everything, heck no, but we should try to see the good intentions, we should try to see the persons long term motivations, we should see what it has as consequences. For example, though this is arguably my personal püreference: we should see, that some things are unpleasent, but still must be brought through, taxes for example. Great medical applications like stem cells research. Some times you need to take a leap of faith. The world ahead can be a pleasent one… I think.

02-15-2016 -- [Many wakings, long dreams I can't remember, cool stuff I've lost, and then finally this dream with a lot missing, but also a lot of details I manage to remember. Vaguely nightmarish, and woke to even more nightmarish stuff.] There are these people on TV that are giving orders, and somehow there are hints that they can see the future or something, but there's something weird about them. I don't know what, but I can just kind of sense that something is a bit off.

As I really concentrate, and look, while watching them, I begin to kind of see it. In some way, over the TV, they are hiding their real faces, and they look perfectly normal, but when I really stare, I begin to see through that facade, and begin to barely catch a glimpse of their real faces. It isn't at all clear, at first, but I start to see square white patches where their eyes should be. And somehow for the moment, it is really spooky and creepy.

I come to know that they have had their eyes gouged out, which somehow allows them to see into another time or dimension or something, which may be helpful, and allow them to provide some good directions, but when you suddenly see through the disguises, it's also kind of spooky. The ones on TV are disguised really well, and it is really hard to see through it, but the ones around me in person are a lot easier, and moment by moment I can see through the disguises at a glance, and in a scene hugely reminiscent of 'They Live,' I'm walking down the street, pointing out people, going "You're normal." "You're OK." "Ewwww ... that's disgusting!" The ones who realize I can see through their disguises go running off in horror.

Anyway, one guy has given me instructions that I have to go see somebody in the hospital, and that it's vitally important that I talk to him and check on him ... then the guy goes running off. Another is to drive me there, and he must have had his eyes gouged out a long time ago, because he has done away with the linen bandages, and it looks like his eye sockets have almost entirely grown over, which is somehow less creepy ... until I remind myself that I am riding in the cab of a person who is blind.

Suddenly I find myself walking past a large, fading, decrepit old house, spooky, tall grass. I'm moving carefully, pushing branches out of the way, and trying to avoid the snakes I don't quite see, but know are there. I'm not me, but someone else that I'm just kind of watching over. He's gotten to the upper rear corner of the property, and is kind of hiding behind some rotting old steps, and he 'knows' the timing is just right for the summoning of a powerful, demonic 'god,' but doesn't really believe in such things, so he starts to chant the words he's been told to speak, the idiot.

So with a bang and a lot of brimstone, this huge, powerful demon appears, and stalks around pontificating about finally being free to terrorize, and tossing aside a basic 'thanks' to the idiot that summoned him, before he stalks off through the grass. Meanwhile I am with this thin, trembling scared teen who is more and more resembling Shaggy, who is done with this, and is about to bolt, but still reminds me I have to go see the kid in the hospital, which it turns out is the rotting, decrepit old building.

This isn't the guy who was driving me. He was older, a lot bigger, bulkier, and not nearly so terrified ... and yet, he might be the same guy, because it is weird and dreams are like that. I tear off the information about the person I am supposed to be seeing from out of the guy's notebook, and step through the rubble and debris as I start to make my way into the hospital, and the sound of me feet in the gravel are very loud and clear. In fact, they seem more real than anything else ... in fact ....

[I start to come awake in the real world, and can still clearly hear what are sounding like footprints in the gravel outside my windows, like somebody is walking around just outside. I lay in bed, motionless, just listening to the sound, and wondering what is going on, and as I come more awake, I realize I don't have any gravel outside by the windows, and I am starting to suspect another palmetto bug has gotten in, and is crawling around in the bits of paper on the floor, except as I shift and turn the light on, I can not hear anything moving around, even after several minutes, which seems very unlikely, and I'm eventually forced to conclude that I was lying is just the right position with my ears bent by my sleeping in just the right way that a sound of the pillow brushing against the headboard or something was producing a slight brushing sound that was amplified absurdly, combined with the nightmarish setting to wake me with heart palpitations. (Figuratively.)]

Im at my high school with my old friend logan and i ask him if he wants to smoke some weed for the first time and he says sure why not. So we go to the bathroom in the school and it looks like my bathroom at home and i smoke a bowl and then give it to logan. I tell him i have to go but ill be back. So i leave and come back a few minutes later and as im walking towards the bathroom i see the principal there because the bathroom is filled with smoke because logan didnt blow the smoke out the window.