false awakening

holy shit. that was crazy. i cannot believe it worked. i was lucid at the begining, and only semi lucid in the middle, non-lucid at the end. recall isn't great

i woke up maybe around 1230 or so but didn't look at the clock. i decided to try wild and just layed down and thought "I am going to remember I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming, im dreamng im dreaming" and day dreaming. It got foggy a few times but i was able to stay awake and then i started to hear one of the dogs in the kitchen but tried not to focus on it. it made me scared for some reason but i held on. then i started to tingle all over. it lasted maybe 15-30 seconds and i remembered this is part of it and got excited...i couldn't control my breathing and was starting to think i was snapping out of it. i didn't know it was a good sign, but my eyes started to move all over...it scared me and i woke up....i think it may have been a false awakening though.

jeremy rolled over after a few minutes and i aske dif he was awake. he was so i told him how close i was. he patted me and rolled over. i got the laptop out and read about WILD.

I decided to try again. this time focusing on lying still and counting 1 im dreaming 2 im dreamking...etc. i got frustrated a few times when jeremy would roll over and touch me or the dogs would get loud(they make more noise at night than i thought) and eventually got up to go to the bathroom. i was frightened then for some reason but tried to ignore that.

I finally settled in and faded out a few times. finally, i could feel myself falling out of bed. i wanted to catch myself, but knew this could be it. i could hear jeremy trying to wake me up, telling me i was falling! i don't catch myself but i end up straight in bed 2 or 3 times and start the falling over(false awakenings?) finally, i fall so much that i know i MUST be on the floor. i feel around and i am in bed. i figure i must be dreaming but feel really silly. its too real, nothing is wrong. but then i look at my hand and it's funny...i don't remember what's wrong with them now though.

i know i am alseep, and try not to laugh too much. i turn to jeremy and say holy shit, this is so funny. he wont wake up...he mummbles and bats my hands away. I still don't quite believe it and am having trouble functioning. eventually i go to the bathroom and look at my hands again...there are 6 fingers, then 4, then 2 sets of 2 fingers on my right hand are stuck together at the base and flare out at the top...i KNOW i am dreaming. I decide to try to get to Marc. i put my hand to the mirror and push. sure enough, i go through. i end up in darkness, but i know i am in the bedroom, on top of a table with a black table cloth covering it. i count my moves forward so i can get out of the darkness if i need to. i go around the table/blackness finding nothing...so i go back. i exit in the bedroom. there is an old volkswagon van and marc is there. i don't think he says much to me. his hair is long and he is sitting in the van as if he is at a drive through watching something in front of him.

i remember worrying about waking jeremy up. i try to call out with him from my own body and even try waking up...i am scared for a minute.

i think i have a false awakening too...jeremy is shaking me telling me to wake up, i am half on the bed, with a goofy smile on my face and drooling.

still in the bedroom-cats, 1 with mange at least 3 of them, 1 older mostly black, 2 kittens black and white. jeremy is there, i tell him they are cute and grab for one of the kittens and cuddle it while it tries to squirm away from me. it has bad mange and a few sores on its back that i look at closely, then i put it down.

now in the livingroom and dining room-mister fighting adalie, not in a playful way lola is also there. they are following me around the house. i am trying to get outside to try flying. i think i do it? and am somewhat unimpressed with flying.

lucidity starts getting choppy...but this part is very vivid still. running outside at night...near some sort of school or warehouse. poeple are sitting around watching something in the sky. fireworks? shooting stars? i don't know. the people around are making fun of me...i guess i was naked or did something imbaressing like peed in front of them? i grabbed a plate thing...was very pretty and sparkly. greens, blacks and blue. was my sister's work, matched a pitcher. the man bought it but i wanted it. i dropped it as he chased me and the end broke so i told him he could havfe it. i flew over to the area where the craft show was to pay but don't think i got there.

marc came over to a hosue, not quite my house but close. i was home alone, there were clothes all over the place. he comes in and smiles, i look at him in amazement...wondering if its real marc or a dream character. he can see my amazment and says,"sorry for the old clothes, i wanted to come right over after ----something?---. . he asks if i wanna play borderlands or another game. his hair is super short and he is wearing a heather blue shit with bleach stains all over it. at this point i know it's not really marc *lucidity is almost gone i think*i try to tell him i don't want to play a game but i have a huge wad of gum in my mouth. i try to pull it all out but its all stuck and there's just tons of it.

there are 2 agents who go to an old womans house on a call. the old woman says that her son is keeping 2 kids in confinement. we/they go downstairs and find a chubby little boy and a little girl who is slightly older. i think they are hispanic or just have really dark hair. they are playing with baby toys and quickly turn around when we/they go downstairs. the room is carpetted and has a glass door leading to a yard, even though this is a basement. one of the walls is lined in mirrors but i don't look in the mirror(d'oh!) they dont recognize us and at first the girl yells "daddy! grandmas got us in confinment and..." and she trails off as she realizes we aren't her daddy. the female agent asks the kids if they have a phone number(presumably for their dad?) and they play a recording from a keyboard it goes "charlie, we have the alpha...something something...

i wake up

i will work on this journal when it's not 330 am on a work night. this was remarkable though...can't believe it! i feel very well rested, but know i need to go back to bed.