non-lucid

Last night I had horrible sleep. Slept for only small fragments of time only to wake up either too hot or too cold or uncomfortable. I had vivid dreams, but the last one I remembered, I was following my parents somewhere with my scooter. My mom was driving her sedan. They were already angry with me. Much to my dismay, they took a detour through this sandy forrest and i had to beep for them to stop. Exasperated, they threw a rope out of the window and i grabbed on. They towed me on the scooter for a few miles while i'm panicking because its so heavy and I'm afraid they're going to leave me and i'll be lost. I hooked the rope to the steering wheel. They start going faster, and due to some drastic turn near a hill the rope gets caught on some tree branch high in the sky (obviously the physics don't make sense in waking life). They don't notice and keep driving. I am lifted off the ground towards the tree branch as my parents accelerate. I panick and don't know whether to jump off or to somehow unhook my scooter first. And after what seems like a long hesitation i decide to unhook the scooter, and the scooter and myself falls to the ground. Usually I would wake up at this point. Instead i am pacing back and forth furious with my parents, panicked because I am lost. Eventually, it starts to get dark and my parents come back for me, and they're upset with me and take no responsibility. They ask me what I've been doing, and ask me if I'm drunk, suspecting foul play and debauch. I assure them that I am not. I go home, and go to sleep, depressed, tired, wanting the day to be over. I wake up in some tall bunk bed in a room with manilla white walls. There are other twenty year old men there who all look either indifferent and bored or angry. I am really confused. I have no idea why I've woken up here. I go to the front desk and ask what has happened, and they sternly command me to get some rest. I talk to some of the other guys there and they just smirk at me and use condescending words. It's like they're all referring to some incident that i am unaware of, and nobody actually answers my questions directly. One guy tries to be nice and says "yea, no use worrying about it" and later he says "breakfast will be here soon." I end up talking to one of the nurses, who tells me that i was involuntarily committed. That i had gotten drunk the night before and had gone on a rampage. I try to explain to them that its impossible and that i must have been sleep walking. I smell so bad because i must have put on this hat i left in the garage that actually had a rotten banana underneath it that was starting to ferment. My eyes were bloodshot because i have insomnia and i'm taking sleeping meds which can sometimes make me feel doped up but not sleepy. All of a sudden i realize how absurd i sound, the nurse just looks at me like "yea, that's what a crazy alcoholic WOULD say." I realize that I am an alcoholic and even though I have been trying to stay sober, and even though i don't remember getting drunk or even thinking about getting drunk, i must have done it -- because i'm really sick. I feel guilty and i call my parents who are nearly crying and want to know why i did it. I'm not exactly sure what I did, but they seem distraught and i feel terrible. NExt thing I know, everyone is gone from the psychward/prison, and I walk out the door expecting to be stopped. I walk to the bus stop and everyone looks at me like i'm drunk. I smell like rotten bananas. And i'm stumbling around asking people which direction the bus goes = uptown or to the suburbs, and they're ignoring me. I actually feel drunk in the dream, but not in a good way, i feel depressed and disoriented and uncoordinated and strung out. THat's the last thing i remember

This is actually a dream i had a few weeks ago, but decided to write it down becuase i found this dream transcription hiding in a random folder on my computer. I was in my kia, and got in some kind of accident. I was putting the car in reverse and the gear wasn’t catching and then all of a sudden the car slid over, sideways, really fast and hit another car. The people got out of the car and there were two girls in the back. One was acting mentally retarded, presumably from the accident. She didn’t look physically hurt, she was just making stupid faces and acting strange, and i felt terrible because i felt responsible. The parents were freakin out. They wanted me to call the ambulance. For some reason I didn’t do it, because I was afraid I would get in trouble I guess. That’s how I felt the whole dream, like I was trying to get out of trouble, and also a deep feeling of shame. Then later, I’m at a semi formal party, with jesse h, we had been going there and the girls and her mom were there and they were looking at us the whole time. Occasionally they talked to other people, I suspected they were telling them how I messed up their daughter. Then all of a sudden this guy comes out of nowhere, running quckly towards me, then jumps in midair and punches me in the face. It was extremely painful. He beat me mercilessly. I tried to get away. Put up a pathetic fight. I vomited in the dream and he continued to beat me. FInally at the worst of the beating, he's standing over me, kicking me and cursing at me for fucking up his daughter. My upper jawline came out of place and my teeth were sticking out strangely. Everyone was staring. I felt humiliated and ashamed. I could feel the punches. I actually felt nauseous. Then abruptly he left and took his family with him. I pulled myself together, but was embarrassed. Other people came to talk to me. Told me that it was wrong of me to not have called the ambulance and to have hit their car. I asked one person to testify for me in court. His first name was argo. Assumed he was Italian. He said that he felt uncomfortable testifying in court because the guy who hit me was actually his friend and apparently a really good guy, even though he personally thought that the guy who beat me was overreacting.
= END OF DREAM;

I woke up. Next morning I went into the kitchen and saw a bunch of canned foods on the counter. There was a can of green beans on the counter and the brand name was “ARGO” in big bold letters. I do not recall ever having paid attention to the cans and can't recall having heard of the brand name. however, i immediately recognized the name from when i was in my dream and then felt compelled to write it down before i forgot.

I can’t remember how I got to this house or this situation. But I was near this house and something bad happened between me and the house people. The house was at least two stories tall, and the hardwood floors were very rickety and the rooms were all very dark. Then on the outside of the house an old man who was rebelling against the house people warned me that the world was going to end, and the people inside were all evil, and they all had to die. The people inside the house seemed omniscient which scared me. The old man who had warned me of the groups evil ways gave me 3 knives, including my black spring blade which I own in real life, a red box cutter which I used to own in real life, and another large black knife, and he also gave me a snubby little revolver, and a double barrel shotgun which was a normal double barrel when he first gave it to me, and then changed to a an over/under double barrel later in the dream. Throughout the dream I was scared for my life, and was sure that the cult was just waiting for the perfect time to have me killed. Occasionally I had moments of spontaneous excitement and inspiration because I knew I was going to die anyway and that I might as well die fighting, and also realized that if I completed my mission I would become a hero. My first assassination attempt of the groups leader was one of the definite peaks of the dream’s intensity. Adrenaline rushing, I snuck into the house, I found the upstairs room where all the members were congregating, and waited outside because of his body guards (by the way, the groups leader looked kind of like my mentor). I finally heard a little girl, probably about 12 go to the bathroom, I snuck in behind her, and when she turned around I pepper sprayed her in the face and then shot her in the back of the head, a chunk of her brain came out and blood sprayed everywhere. I remembered thinking to myself – she’s not really an innocent little girl, she’s hell spawn in disguise. Of course, the members all freaked out. The body guards went in the bathroom to see what happened so I ran through the other door went up to the main guy, and stabbed in the neck with a fork. I definitely broke the skin, but all that happened was water came out and after briefly faking pain, he started smiling. I ran out because everyone was yelling and I thought they’d kill me. Later, I talked to members who were on the fringes of the group but still dedicated and they had heard what I had done to the young girl, and my assassination attempt. They were living in a series of vans and all looked especially deranged and haggard. They tried to guilt trip me and it started working, and they warned me of what I had gotten myself into and hinted I might be in danger. I wanted to get away from the situation so I went to the beach. There was a trail to the beach and I saw the old man on the way down there, and we talked about my assassination attempt, and he told me the world was ending again. I was walking on the beach by myself and the waves kept getting bigger and bigger – the tide was coming in really fast and suddenly I saw this massive wave start forming. It was really tall and kept growing as adrenaline was pulsing. I was afraid it was going to be a tidal wave because the water was rapidly receding on the beach. It came up barely to the dunes but I was scared the next wave might be bigger. For some reason I decided to go the store and get a mango. I went in very stealthily because the Cult Leader’s body guards were there. Luckily there were peaches and mango samples there at the store and I took a lot with me.

That’s all I remember. I had a lot of chores and work to do today, so I scribbled the essentials down in my journal before getting to work and then just got home and transcribed it to computer. I am disappointed because i did not become lucid in it...probably because i was so scared. However, I am confident and proud of what I have remembered and written down.

Not much i remember last night, too much caffeine, insomnia, restless sleep, couldn't get the fan on a comfortable setting, either too hot or too cold. Very hazy recollection, and i might be adding some secondary elaboration here, but I'm really just trying to make it a habit to write in here because i really want to lucid dream with frequency. Anyways, I dreamt that i was babysitting my acquaintence's son. He was telling me his dad did horrible things to him. I was trying to get him to behave the whole time coz i didn't want his dad to come home and beat him or get angry with me and yell at me and not pay me. I also remember seeing my exgirlfriend and i kept trying to seduce her, but kept getting delayed or rejected, never got to have sex with her, etc. That is literally all i remember.