task of the month

I was naughty and went to bed at 3am because I knew I could sleep in forever, so I really didn't deserve these 2 LDs, but here they are anyway

I WILDed probably around 8am. After the vibrations settled, I opened my eyes and was in my room and in bed, per pretty usual. I fought with many layers of blankets and finally got up, but then I woke up. I went back to sleep and ended up in a nonlucid in a grocery store. I was walking down the frozen aisle, when it hit me that I was JUST awake a few moments ago in my bed, trying to lucid dream. BOOM! I remembered the basic I task right away, so I looked for a dream character. My mom was in the frozen aisle too, looking through some frozen items. I said "Mom?" and she looked at me. "Can I have one of my Christmas presents early this year?" She said "Ok" as she started pushing her cart towards one of the registers. When we got in line, there were some floral arrangements on one of the endcaps. She picked one and gave it to me. It was a small, thin glass vase with 4 orchid blossoms in it. They were the most intense, hypercolored purple I'd ever seen. I said "Wow, thank you mom!!" And I was fiddling with them, kinda rearranging them. As I did that, 2 yellow gerbera daisies also appeared in the vase, then 3 roses too. I'm glad that happened, because it kinda snapped me back into the fact that I was dreaming, so I could do another task. I said "Ok by mom, I gotta go do some stuff," and I just set the vase in her cart.

When I got outside, it had snowed everywhere. ANd it looked like a tiny town in Montana or something, with mountains everywhere and everyone dressed like they were going to go ski. I took to flight, and just swam in the air. I tried to think of another task, and all I could think of was the snowman one (and how I kinda didn't really want to do it). As I was in the air, I saw AND heard wolves and bears in the mountains. I thought how much I really wanted to fly there and either battle or befriend them (wolf task HELLOOOOO... oh well). I promised myself I would after the task. I landed on a nice pile of snow across the street from the grocery store. It didn't seem like enough snow, so I willed it to snow (a skill I acquired from one of last year's tasks ). After a few inches accumulated, I got straight on my knees and started trying to form the traditional snowman from 2 big balls of snow. But they would morph a bit while I was making them, and the falling snow kept accumulating around him, basically forming him back into a big amorphic snow pile. I decided to go with it, and instead of sculpting a snowman, I decided to carve him out of the giant snow pile. I made him look a little cubic, with a weird mouth. Kind of like a cross between a robot and an Aztec god. I wasn't even using my hands, I just willed chunks of snow to fall away, leaving the relief of a snow-robot, partially embedded in the drift. I said "Ok, WALK," and when I did, he stepped out of the drift, and marched kinda robot soldier style. At this point, he wasn't even snow anymore, it was pure, clear ice somehow. Probably because I felt a bit like I was doing an ice sculpture rather than snow molding, if that makes any sense. Satisfied with my marching iceman, I thought about heading for the woods, but then I woke up.

I slept in really late. At one point I tried to check the time on my phone, but my left eye wouldn't open, and the phone screen was senseless garble. I'm dreaming!

I get up with the surgery task on my mind since I thought about it last night. I go to the bathroom so I can see in the mirror. I brought my phone with me and the time says 6:58. then i look away and back and it said 6:49, then i looked away and back again and it said "9:69 (really)". like it truly said "really" after the time lol! anyway, The only tool I can find is a dentist pick. I lift up my shirt and start to make an incision but it hurts lol! I say out loud, "I can't do this!" But I just think fuckit, and tear a line down my abdomen, which was nothing more than a deep scratch and no blood. It hurt a bit but not like an actual incision. I set down the tool and put each hand on either side of the scratch, and pull outward. The skin splits perfectly and I'm staring at my rib cage and a bunch of organs that look like steaks! I select one that kinda looks like a stomach and remove it. It wasnt connected to anything, and no blood. I set it on the sink, and it just looks like a sirloin steak lol. Then I look at my reflection and there's a ZIPPER no lie, where the incision is. So I just zip my skin up and I'm fine.

Sometimes I think my subC is too cartoony and keystone cop for these gory tasks :p

Early this morning, I woke up at 5:30am, then again at some point and started getting some vibrations. They were being really really pokey about kicking over into a LD. Finally I got there, and I opened my dream eyes and found myself in my bed as usual. But when I tried to get up I woke up for real. Ok. So I repeated the process and same thing. I think I did it maybe one more time with no success. Not good hehe.

Then my alarm went off at 6:50 to make sure Chris was on his way to school. Then I went back to bed and got the vibrations again, nice and strong. As I was waiting in those couple moments for the dream to start, I quickly thought up a Plan B because I didn't want to risk waking up again and losing all my chances for a lucid. I thought, well, I'll just start the dream IN the bed, and maybe even go for a task while staying in bed. I opened my dream eyes, and was in bed again, and it was pretty dark. I thought about the basic I task all I needed to do was eat a piece of Halloween candy. I can do that right here in bed haha. So I slowly reached over and imagined a piece of candy would be right there on my nightstand. Of course as I'm reaching over, that old childhood fear of something under my bed grabbing me popped in my head. Sure enough, some small animal or creature jumped up and locked its jaws on the side of my hand. It kinda hurt, but not enough to stop me. I continued to reach for the table, with this thing dangling off my hand. I felt on the table and there was a little piece of candy wrapped in cellophane. Yay! I brought both the candy and the creature into bed with me, and just shook the creature off my hand and it vanished. It was a bit lighter now, and before the creature vanished, I could see that it looked a little like a deranged prairie dog lol. Anyway, I opened the candy and it was a tiny square of blue gum. I popped it in my mouth and chewed, and it tasted like blueberry!

I decided maybe now the dream was stable enough that I could get out of bed, and I did easily. I managed to go out of the room and down the hall a bit. At some point I woke up, can't recall exactly. Fortunately, I DEILDed right back into the dream, back in my bed. So I decided to do the same thing (because if I could convince my subC that the candy was poisoned, I'd get advanced wings too!). I reached over, got the same little attacker, and shook it away again. This time the candy was a little red square of gum and tasted like cherries. I got up, went down the hall and into the bathroom. I wanted to see in the mirror if the gum was poisoned and what it would do to me. I'm telling you, I willed the SHIT out of that gum to be poisoned, but nothing happened. I stuck my tongue out and the gum had stained it green. I thought to myself "I guess in dream land, blue and red candy makes green!" Then I woke up.

A silly little basic task, but I'm mostly proud of the way I handled the issue of accidentally waking up. I'm seriously patting myself on the back for not only thinking up the solution, but thinking it up quick! It was mostly out of desperation for fear of losing lucid opportunity, but I'm telling you: once you're in the mind set to solve problems in a lucid, or just before the lucid, or while transitioning, you only need a few seconds of really rational thought. Then things will fall into place. Then you'll feel like a million bucks and a super lucid genius for the day!

I got super lucky on this one. It was a very long lucid. I went to bed late on the couch, then woke up, went back to sleep. Did that maybe every 2 hours until 10am when I could finally sleep undisturbed for a couple hours.

I drifted off to sleep, and immediately had a dreamlet of me reaching over and checking my phone. I knew I was dreaming because I had just go e to sleep and I did t need to check my phone for anything. I immediately left the bedroom and was greeted by my dog, Daisy. She was super hyper and jumping all over me, and then a second Daisy appeared! They were all over me and I felt I may wake up. So I just relaxed, pet the 2 Daisys, and felt the dream get more stable as I recalled the advanced task. Perfect, I'll just walk up the diningroom wall. I also remembered the ABCs task, so I thought I would just sing it while trying the advanced. I put one foot on the wall, then as I tried to put my other foot on the wall, I fell on my back lol. Like in real life, but I had a tiny moment of hover. I tried this maybe two more times and fell. I did reach the end of the ABC song at least! So anyway, I tried a spot of wall next to an open door, and I used the handle to help me once both feet were on the wall. Then I walked right up, no problem. I got to the ceiling, put one foot on the ceiling, and immediately felt my work flip 90 degrees. I got both feet on the ceiling, and it felt like strong magnets were holding my shoes in place, yet I could take steps with little effort. It was amazing, I felt the blood rush to my head, and my hair was hanging down. I really felt upside down, really cool.

I don't remember how I got down, but I wanted to try walking up the wall again without the doorknob. I thought maybe a run and jump would work, and it did! My feet stuck right on the wall, and I was able to repeat the process, this time in front of the diningroom mirror. I cod see my hair hanging in my face.

Again I don't remember how I got down, but I wanted to try again, this time just walking straight to the wall like it didn't matter. When I did, I fell again. Oh well, run and jump worked at least haha.

Still lucid, I recalled the call a dc task. Should be no problem, since I've done it before in lucids. But never with a cell phone, and that's all I had at the moment. I don't know about y'all, but trying to find contacts on my iphone is hard enough irl, much less dreams, lucid or otherwise. I would find a contact, then the screen would scroll away from it when I tried to click it. After alot of trying and failing, I finally came across "Kevin M." from college. Haven't talked to that boy since like 1994. But I called him and he answered, but he sounded like a drunk Texan, instead of the straight edge Norwegian I remember from college. I asked if this was the same Kevin M that met me in a H4H build in 1994, and he said it was him. I asked why it didn't sound like him anymore, and he said in a thick drawl "Because I turned into a drunk Texan, I hope you don't judge." I said it's all good, I got enough for the task anyway.

The dream was STILL going, but I couldn't for the life of me recall the 4th task. In this moment as I'm typing, I still don't remember it, so no chance. I started probably losing lucidity a bit at this point, but I remember I went to the bedroom and say DC Danny. We didn't speak much, but I was messing with some stuff in a drawer. My finger got stuck on something sharp, and I was like "wtf is this?" And Danny said "it's a fishing lure." So it was. I took the little hook out of my finger, and was admiring the pretty red feather lure attached to it, when I noticed that in the same basket in that drawer, was a couple individually wrapped condoms. I said "I don't think you should keep fishing lures with the condoms baby, seems like a bad idea." I was already kneeling on the floor because this was the bottom drawer, so then I just kinda lay down on my side on the carpet. I could feel that I was about to wake up, and I thought to myself, "Yeah, that's enough for this dream." And I woke up on my side, in the exact same position, in my bed.

This was yesterday morning. On my phone so I'll be brief. I WILDed early, around 7am I think. After the vibrations, I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't move my dream body, and I couldn't see. But I was able to imagine that I was gently rolling off the bed, and I landed on my feet on the bedroom floor and I could see. I went straight to the floor and pushed my face through. A tunnel to hell formed, but it was quiet, dark, and not much fire. Which actually seemed more creepy. I called down "I'm coming down!!" and I saw the devil poke his head into the tunnel and turn to look up at me. His eyes reflected light, and I was scared for a moment. My fear caused the devil to change into a more docile form (CL if you're reading this, we need to talk about how emotions really drive the dream setting and characters). Anyway, the devil turned into a chubby old black lady, still with the eyes though. I yelled for a rope to appear, and started down, but I woke up. I deilded and did the exact same thing, only I tried to summon beers on the way down, woke up again. Deilded again, this time skipped hell and went into the kitchen. I went blind on the way, but I could still feel so I kept walking and made it to the kitchen and got my sight back. I saw an old woman looking in my fridge, and I recalled the basic task! I asked her the meaning of life and she said "I am a good ___ and a good leader." I didn't hear the first work so I asked her to repeat. She said "I am a good dad, and a good leader." Lol ok. I woke up.

Man I had some crazy nonlucids the other night when I went to bed sick, but they'll have to wait. I gotta tell y'all about the interesting WILD I had this morning.

Went to bed at 1am, woke up at 7,8,9 and it was sooooo hot. But I kept trying and ended up WILDing probably at around 10:30am because I woke up from the WILD at about 11am.

Anyway, traditional roll over, vibrations, then WILD. I got up out of the bed, and my vision was bad, balance was off, and it was really really dark. One of my eyes was blind too, if that isn't insult to injury. [Doctor says to the patient: sorry, your vision is 20/1000, and that's in the eye that ISN'T blind, chuckle chuckle.] ANYway, I left the room and went down the hall, thinking of the hug task. The hall opened into a sunny little play room that doesn't exist irl. A 3-year old version of my son Chris was playing on the floor with some colorful blocks. Perfect! [A little side note about 3-year old Chris: that was the age he was when we had to go to a shelter, and he had regressed somewhat during all the turmoil. Point is, it was during a crappy time for me too, so I feel in many ways that me and Chris missed out on a lot of fun during his 3-year old time. When I was 3 and my parents were split up, my mom took me to Disneyland. Alot.] Happy to see cute lil Chris, I just bent down and picked him up and hugged him super hard and long. Best feeling ever

Then I thought of the write name in sand task, and I noticed that part of the playroom had a sand pit. I won't really count this task because it was indoor sand, but I told myself at that time that in case I don't find a beach later, I'll just try it here. I wrote "Lisa" fairly easily, then "Ophelia" next to it . Ok, still lucid, what were the advanced tasks? I couldn't remember them, even now as I'm typing this out I can't remember, oh yeah, punch the pres. Oh well, all I could remember at the time was the only one I DIDN'T want to do, which was to jump in the volcano. But I figured I could just go there anyway and maybe I'd get brave when I got there. I asked Chris if he wanted to come along and he followed me to the front door. I could hear that it was raining bad outside, and Chris said "Mommy, umbrella" and pointed at the closet where we keep them. I told him that we won't need them. We stepped outside and it was pouring horribly, and super dark. Now, I never have much luck getting rain to clear up, but I remember that one member who uses his DCs to do things for him. So I told Chris to point at the sky and use his magic to make the rain stop. It took a few tries, but the rain stopped, and it got a little brighter out.

I didn't see any mountains or volcanoes anywhere, but a van drove up to us. A guy was driving, and a lady was in the back and she opened the sliding door, asking if we needed a ride. I said, "Mount Fuji is over there somewhere, can you take us there?" She said ok, for $40. So I handed her a $40 bill Which did seem normal at the time lol. Anyway, we weren't driving for long before the van was now on the tracks of a roller coaster. I said to the driver "Man, we gotta get off this thing or I'll lose my lucidity!" as we rolled and tumbled, with visions of Mount Fuji going in and out of my peripheral vision. We finally stopped and got out, and we were in DisneyLand! (Anaheim).

I knew that one of the rides was situated around a volcano that I could probably make real somehow, because I had seen it from inside the van. But then I noticed that Chris was in the arms of that woman from the van, looking really sad. He said, "Mommy, I don't want you to go into a volcano.." Ordinarily this would be where I combated the DC guilt trip and said something like, "Ok, you stay here with Aunti so-and-so, while I go get some 'ice cream' wink wink," and then continue on to find the volcano. But here I was, totally lucid, with 3-year old Chris, AT DISNEYLAND! So I thought fuck it, "He Chris, want to go ride some rides?" And he ran over to me and grabbed my hand. I thought to myself I don't even care if I lose lucidity at this point. The lady gave me back my $40 bill and said, "Here, you can have this back to get some ride tokens." So we went to the token dispenser (so not existing in real Disneyland, oh well who cares. Mickey coins sounded fun). I stuck in the entire $40 dollar bill, which seemed to empty the dispenser of all its tokens. Me and Chris just started filling our pockets with the tokens, much to the dismay of a dad and his son, who were waiting to get their tokens lol. Then Chris and I walked hand in hand and got in line for one of the rides. I believe I did start to lose lucidity at some point in that line, but I don't think I was ever happier in a dream.

So I'd been thinking lately, and LinkZelda and I discussed this last night, that it would be cool to change genders in a lucid dream. And not the thing I usually do where I grow boy parts and just stick it in whatever walks by me first. I wanted to actually turn into a guy, and ask a nice girl out on a date, maybe make out a little bit. The point was to have the experience, and not be a mindless dickhead out for sex, like I usually am in my gender bender lucids.

Anyway, so after working 6 days in a row, and thinking about this goal alot, I finally have 3 mornings in a row that I can sleep in. So last night I looked at pictures of pretty women, not overly PlayBoy-ish, just.. nice ones. And I settled on one and kept her in my mind.

Then this morning I tried for WILD. Woke up at 5am, then 7am, had a non lucid about zombies and grizzly bears (may post later), then kids woke me up a bunch of times. I was getting frustrated, but I kept my goals, and lucidity right at the top. I got up at about 9am, went pee and had some water, then lay back down. That did the trick, and pretty soon I drifted off, then rolled over and felt the vibrations.

I saw a bedroom form as my eyelids became transparent. Not my room at all. I slowly got out of the bed as usual and the sheets were stuck around my ankles a little. They vanished as soon as I walked towards the 4 doors in the room, looking for the one that led out. The first door had a dead bolt on it, so I turned it and opened the door, expecting it to be the way out, but it was a closet. I tried the next door and it led to a hallway.

I walked down the hall which opened into a livingroom, and there were a group of people sitting and watching TV. I looked for the lady that I wanted, but she wasn't there. A few older people were on the couch, and a really pretty young lady on the chair. Before I could think if I would ask her out instead, everyone in the room said "Hey Lisa." Crap, I'm still female! I asked them if any hot chicks came around looking for me, and they said no, without looking away from the TV. I went to the front door of the house and opened it, hoping to see a beauty on the other side. No one. So I decided to settle on the lady in the chair. I went to the large mirror behind the folks on the couch, and my reflection was basically me, with a long ponytail. So I looked at my reflection in the eyes and said "I am a really hot guy, named Michael." My hair cut short, and a ball cap appeared on my head. Despite some red-neckish looking clothes, I looked pretty good. Dark hair, blue eyes and chiseled facial features. Like what I ordinarily go for myself haha.

Anyway, feeling quite confident, I went up to the girl in the chair. She looked alot like this one actress, I'll see if I can find her pic and post it. I just took her hands in mine and said, "Hey, do you want to be my girlfriend?" She beamed and said "Ok!" First mistake: I didn't even ask her name. I led her into the hallway, and I suppose fearing for dream time, I just pushed her against the wall with my body. I took her face in my hands, and planted a kiss right on her lips. Then I used tongue. The whole time I kept my eyes open, just in case of accidental loss of lucidity (gotta work on that schema). The moment was so vivid. I kept feeling the skin on her neck and face, her hair, and all up and down her arms and body. A couple times I stopped to kiss her neck, and all along her jawline, loving all the chirpy little sounds that it elicited from her. [I gotta stop right here just to say this to the men in the audience: Bravo for every time you were ever in this situation and resisted the urge to just nail the girl. Because in the similar situation, I FAILED.] Her skin was so soft and satiny, and it would get flushed and burning hot to the touch wherever I kissed it, especially her neck. That neck, mmmmmmm mmm mmm! I ran my hand down the front of her shirt, stopping momentarily to cup a breast. I truly felt like I was going to explode on myself right then. I was really aroused, and my goals all went right out the window. Didn't ask her name, ask her out on a date, have ANY conversations of any kind. I just started ripping her clothes off right there in the hall. One goal. Solo. Uno. Everything else in the world was just gone. And I was punished for it. Right when I was about to give my first thrust, I woke up.

So...

I guess I can say that I'm happy that I got the opportunity that i wanted. I just need to play my cards better next time, and not be so greedy. I ended up DEILDing back into that same bedroom, but I woke up halfway down the hall

Edit: Oh it looks like I inadvertently completed the basic mirror task. 3 cheers for lucid mirrors!!

Edit again: The girl on the left is the one I wanted, the one on the right is the one I got (but with shorter hair and tanner skin). I can't complain.

Looooooong dream, beware:

I hate that my LDs lately seem dependent on my days off since I work so much more now, but at least if the LD is really epic, then it's a pay off for me. The like one I just woke up from. It's also in part to the sweet podcast that CL and I recorded last night.

I didn't think I was going to have one at all, because I kept sleeping in and waking up, and nothing. I was hot, and uncomfortable. Finally Danny got up and I rolled over to sleep again. Then the bed suddenly felt cylindrical, and I began to feel like I was slowly rolling off, but never did. I get funny sensations like that sometimes when I'm about to have a WILD. So I just relaxed and remained still, and a wave of vibrations washed over me. I very patiently waited a few moments before slowly getting out of bed. Everything was realistic, but I noticed that the fan was missing from our ceiling fan, but then appeared suddenly (like as OOPS forgot). Also the pillows had fringes that don't exist irl, so I knew for sure I was dreaming.

I went to leave the room, but I had blankets attached to me. I left the room and there was still one wrapped around my legs. I cursed it in my mind, then continued to the livingroom. I remembered the naked task, and was happy to see the livingroom was full of people. Mostly kids, and a lady on the couch. I knew it would be ok since it's just a dream anyway. I said "Hey guys, I'm about to get nekkid!!" They totally ignored me, while watching TV. Then I remembered that piece of paper from an old TOTM still in the kitchen. I had a personal goal of wanting to check it out again. It was in the right place, but it was covered with nonsensical words that changed everytime I looked at it. At one point, I saw that it said "turn over" and when I did, it was blank. I turned it back over, and it had changed again. Anyway, I went back into the livingroom and started taking my clothes off. The blanket had vanished at some point during all this (the power of ignoring annoying crap in dreams). I said "HEY! I'm naked!" One kid looked at me and said, "Oh look, once Ophelia's done with this, I'm going to teach everyone how to smoke pot!" Then I lost it, I laughed so hard at that boy. I looked at the lady on the couch, who glanced at me for a moment, then looked away like she wished I hadn't done this. SO I said "Bye, I'm going outside to fly in the buff!"

I went outside and hit the air, but I either flew too low and bounced, or I went to high and would lose my vision. Oh yeah, I had my glasses on, and I remember seeing if I could still see without them, but I needed them, oh well. Keep them on for now. After the flying, things got really blurry, and sketchy, and I couldn't make anything out. So I relaxed, and said "Imagine a barn. A red and brown barn.." and one appeared in front of me. It was still all a little sketchy, but I decided to go to the barn and look for a mirror transport. I noticed a big black bear walk on its hind legs into the barn, just before I did. I walked down a hall toward what appeared to be a bathroom, when the bear came at me, mouth wide open and bared teeth. I rolled my eyes and stuck out my hand, and he bit it, and locked on. It hurt but it was bearable. I just kept walking toward the bathroom, then I went inside and shut to door, which made the bear let go. Ha! I looked in the mirror over the sink, still not great vision. I kinda absent-mindedly turned on the bathroom light, and then BOOM! It was like someone had turned on the sun! I was about to go in the mirror, when I noticed Kim and Nicole from work outside the window. I yelled their names and told them I was LDing. They ran over to the barn, but by the time they got there, they were 2 Kims instead. They looked kinda angsty and said something I forget. I just ignored them and went back to the mirror while I could feel them watching. I poked my head and torso through, but it was a really large room that was kinda dark. I didn't really want to go there, but I couldn't pop back out of the mirror for some reason. It felt like this new room was sucking me through, so I went with it.

I plopped out into this really large room, where all the walls were bookshelves, and there were kids toys here and there. Also alot of unfinished paintwork. A woman was putting books away on the shelves, when she suddenly was aware of my presence. She whipped around, then came at me with a small axe! I just stood there, and when the axe came down, I caught it by the handle and pulled it out of her hand. I said "Ma'am, I'm just traveling, you don't have to be scared of me." Then I heard it: an inhuman scream. It sounded like it was coming from a man, but it was so loud, and crazed. The woman looked even me scared at that then she was of me. I left the room to go toward the sound, when I ended up in a hallway where I noticed 3 men putting together an elaborate story book. They came up to me, pretending like they didn't hear this screaming. They walked me through the story, telling me all about it. I couldn't believe they were ignoring this sound. Finally I saw the source: A man walked toward us, carrying a small boy. I knew at that moment that he was the woman's wife, and this was their child. The dad was completely 100% INSANE. I knew he was rich though, because this was a really big house. I had assumed that he hired those men to make a really great book for the child. The dad was still screaming unintelligibly, at the wife I believe. Just pure anger and insanity. The child in his arms looked just, sad and yet resigned to it. I said to the guys writing the book, "He must pay you guys a lot of money to be able to ignore that shit!" One of them nodded at me. I thought, oh hell no. I still knew I was dreaming, and the axe was still in my hand. So I ran at him, ready to chop him to bits, while hopefully saving the child. The wife stopped me, crying something about not killing the father of their children. So I flew above the man, who finally shut his mouth and just stared at me in disbelief. And I said, "Mr. Dead Man? Yes, I call you DeadMan because this so called son of yours it not your son, because you don't deserve him. You are now dead to him." Then he just rolled over on the floor, and lay there in a vegetative state.

I ended up DEILDing 2 times after that, one where I was a man and hooked up with that woman to take care of the family, but when I stripped down I had boobs, whoops.

Then another where Danny came in wanting to have sex, and I accused him of being a DC and I'd rather have the real thing. And he said maybe we're both LDing right now, you can ask the real me in the morning. I said ok I'll tell you a code word now, that I'll ask the real you tomorrow. THen he gave up haha. Creepily, the real Danny came in after I woke up this morning, and he was dressed JUST like the DC one, the room was the same amount of light, and he sat on my bed and was talking a bunch of weird crazy shit to me. I had to RC, but nope that was the real Danny.

Ok. I was floored by this. But first, my routine. I went to bed a little after 1am (bad I know, but I knew I could sleep in). And I had my mind on the lay and egg TOTM for days now. Woke up at 7am for the kids, then it took me at least an hour to get back to sleep. I woke up again, then fell asleep again. As I did, I thought about that egg..

I drifted off, and was suddenly aware that I was at work, in the PFDS department. I saw a woman walk up to me, and it hit me that I had just fallen asleep like 2 seconds ago. (note: This is happening to me more and more lately. Instead of WILDing seamlessly from awake to lucid dream, I'm losing my awareness for a few seconds, while the dream forms itself, then I quickly realize that I was just falling asleep in my bed a few seconds ago. No vibrations or HH that I'm aware of. Just a super quick DILD. No complaints.)

Anyway, I fell the dream slip a little upon awareness, so I just focus on the woman coming up to me which helps. The lay an egg task bursts into my mind, so I ask her point blank, "Hey, wanna watch me lay an egg?" She stops and says, "Ok..?" I pull my pants down just to my knees and squat. I push but not too hard (some of you members brought up the accident thing and apparently it crept into my dream, spanks a heap!).

But then I suddenly woke up (or so I thought). I was lying on the bed on my side, facing Danny, and I felt my pants fill up with something warm. Oh shit. I said "Oh no, I just tried the egg task and I think I crapped myself!" I told Danny. He laughed and said he didn't even want to know. I felt so embarrassed, but at the same time, it didn't really feel like poop in my pants. More like, wadded up cloth. So I reached down the back of my pants and felt what seemed to be some wadded up material. I pulled it out and it was a purple t-shirt with Disney characters on the front, dressed in Halloween costumes. At this moment, I believed that I had somehow carried something from my dream into reality. Danny asked me what the hell it was. I just said forget it and tossed the shirt onto the floor, feeling really confused. But then he got up and took it, and when I asked what he did with it, he said he threw it "over the ledge." Ledge, what ledge? Suddenly he was a black man, WEARING the shirt I had just laid. And our bed was suddenly a table with weird food all over it, that I was furiously trying to sort through. All this confusion finally reached a hilt and I questioned my reality.

I'm still fucking dreaming. I pooped a shirt but it was still in the dream! I looked at black Danny, and the second basic task popped into my head:

Me: Hey, I'm dreaming and you're a character in my-
Him: SHUT UP!!!!!
Me: Heh, ok you're a dream character and this is MY-
Him: No YOU'RE A DREAM CHARACTER!!!!!!
Me: No, YOU are a character in MY dream dumbass
Him: *pinches the spot where his nose meets his forehead, as if he has a horrible headache*
Me: Careful, this is where my DCs' heads usually explode. *I makes gesture with my hands of an exploding head*
Him: *jolts in surprise, but head doesn't explode*
Me: Hehee, keep the shirt*

Ok there's more, stay with me folks. I walked away, and got to this "ledge", which was an open stairwell like in a mall. As I was just about to descend, a few guys were coming up the stairs. The one in front looked like a young Baldwin - extremely delicious. The two behind him said something to the effect of "Yeah, he's new, and is the guy in charge now." I just grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. I could tell he was inexperienced, which just made him hotter. We were making out hard, and it was like the rest of the dream environment was gone except for him. He just seemed so hungry for this, which was such a huge turn on.

Spoiler for WARNING: sexually explicit:

It wasn't long before I unbuttoned his pants, ripped my own off, and began banging him on the stairs. The kissing was incredible, incredible incredible... I couldn't get enough! In a few moments, we were on soft, silky grass outside, sparking in the sun. But I was getting really really bored wtf! So I asked him if he wanted to turn over and try it another way. So he turned over on his belly and I switched to a dude. But he vanished. This ticked me off because I was a dude, and pretty hard too. So I grabbed the first DC near me, who was a really pretty blonde woman with long curly hair. I turned her over and starting doing her, but again... nothing. I felt nothing. I got up and started wandering around, remarking on how this dream was pretty long for a lucid. I didn't think about any more goals, I just wanted to wake up.

Spoiler for WARNING: sexually explicit:

So I did.

* I didn't really say "Keep the shirt" but I wish I had! I thought it added to the humor.

Wow what a night. I woke up at 5am and didn't go back to sleep until after 8am. This may very well be my longest WBTB that led to a successful DILD, not counting the times that I actually GOT UP early, then took a nap later in the day.

Anyway, the first thing I remember is being in a nonlucid where Danny was taking me to work in the morning. We were running just barely ontime, so I was a bit frantic. When I got out of the car, I thought Danny was helping me get some of my stuff out of the trunk, but he just vanished. I was like ffuu thanks alot. So I grabbed everything myself (including my shoes which I hadn't put on yet in the rush). I got to this ramp(?) that led to the bakery. I just dropped everything to the floor, trying to get my bakery garb on. (Oh yeah, and before that, I thought I saw Danny at customer service, but it wasn't him). Anyway, at that moment I realized that I had the wrong shoes. They were my privos instead of my nonslip work shoes. FFuu again. So I got my cell out and was going to call Danny and ask him to go home and get them for me. Then 2 of my bosses came down the ramp and looked at me like "Wft loser" and i just said" OK I'm hurrying, I just gotta find Danny!" They just walked off looking disappointed. I got my cell, and was looking through the contacts. All I remember at this point is massive device failure. I couldn't find Danny in the contacts. Then when I found his name, I couldn't find the call icon. I was suffering over this shit for a few moments, when I thought to myself that this HAS to be a dream. Too much stress and nonsense! The weird thing at this point, was that I didn't "feel" lucid, but I thought I'd try to kick my feel up and do a little low hovering flight, just to test things. And sure enough, it worked! I was weightless. Oh Lord JESUS thank god I'm lucid haha!

I took to flight with all my stuff gathered up in my arms, and was going to fly out the front door and go find Danny at the car maybe. Then I remembered I still hadn't done the food TOTM yet! I looked at the stuff in my arms and realized that there were some groceries there, including a bunch of green onions. I just bit of a huge hunk of the green parts, and they tasted crisp and spicy, just like they should. At this point I thought since I'm at work anyway, and right at the produce section of Whole freaking Foods, I should have a feast! I walked by the fruit stands, and noticed a displaced cookie case that should have been in the bakery. A giant, soft-baked chocolate chip cookie with marshmallow chunks stood right in front. SO I grabbed it.. god, it was still warm. I shoved about half of it into my mouth, and it was heaven. Chocolatey, melty-marshmallowey, ewey gooey warm sweet deliciousness. I started just going glutton all over this cookie, when I noticed it was making the dream unstabilize. I thought of Alyzarin in her recent food lucid (if you're reading this ALy, I owe you one), so I thought to calm down, and shift my focus. This seemed to chill things out. This next part is VERY sexually graphic. You've been warned.

Spoiler for EXTREMELY Mature Content.:

I felt so triumphant, which usually leads to a wave of randiness I reached down and my boy parts grew on command. I hadn't done this in a lucid in a while, so I just belted out "Oh YEAAAAH baby, here I come!" Why am I such a dickhead in lucids when I'm a dude? Anyway, there were a ton of people passing by in the produce section, but no one looked good. I remember specifically a tall, gray-haired old man. Nooo thanks. Then I noticed a young woman with soft curly brown hair in a flower-print dress with a matching purse, sitting on a stack of crates by the apples. She looked pious and virginal. I said something really crude, I can't remember what it was. I'm sure it was something along the lines of "Hey baby wanna f---" Anyway the crate she was sitting on put her hips at about hip level with me. She agreed to have sex with me, so I started unbuttoning my jeans. All the while she was talking to me, saying things like she didn't really know how to do anything, I just ignored her. What happened next was the most vivid lucid sex I have ever had. By vivid, I don't mean really all that pleasurable or satisfying, rather the details and the length and the regular 5 senses were really increased from what I'm used to. I was just going at it, and she would moan when I did extra things, like bite her neck, or when I put her boob in my mouth. I remember feeling like this wasn't really doing much for me, but I just kept going, since the dream and my lucidity was hanging on so well. I would push her upper body back and go faster, then I would pull her back up into an upright sitting position on the crates and go slower, kissing, sucking, giving HER all sorts of pleasure, but my dick just kinda felt numb. I finally felt the dream begin to fade, so I just let it. I basically got what I wanted from the dream, if I wanted to get off I could do that manually irl when I wake up lol.

So I finally got the coal TOTM! Then I attempted the drawing one, but it didn't quite work. Anyway, HORRIBLE night sleep, ended up having to call in sick today. As such, when I was finally able to sleep when the house was empty and the dogs were quiet at last, it was about 8am.

I had a really super fast WILD. I wasn't trying for it, I just wanted sleep. But one quick round of really faint vibrations and I felt myself in my bed in a dream, all tangled up in blankets. I slowly tried to disentangle myself but woke up before I could finish. I went back to sleep and had a FA where I had gotten up and went down the hall, but it was the hall of some other building. And I remembered in that instant that I had JUST woken up from a short LD, so yay I was getting a second chance! I thought of the coal task right away, and continued down the hall. Fortunately it opened up into my livingroom. I knew that all I had to do was go into the backyard by the grill, and grab a piece of Kingsford coal from the bag. Only one obstacle: the sliding glass door. If I open doors or even phase through them in LDs, most time I get a scene change. SO I just quickly opened it, and sure enough, I ended up in a random room that doesn't exist. I saw a second door that went outside, so I imagined that my grill would be on the other side, and it worked! Only it looked more like a piano. I didn't see a bag of coal, so I opened the piano grill hoping to find a semi-used piece of coal inside. Nope, just piano keys. I imagined that o nthe other side of the grill would be a bag of kingsford coal, and sure enough, there was a bag of coal (the 365 brand from work, fine by me!). I grabbed the first piece which was stuck to another piece, so I separated them and kept the smaller of the 2. I held the coal in my left hand and covered it with my right, and stepped into the sunlight. I wanted to see my diamond sparkle in case it worked! I saw the sun illuminate my hands, and I thought to myself "how realistic this lucid light looks." I pressed my hands together as hard as I could, and I felt the coal disintegrate immediately. It almost felt like watery mud. I pressed very hard and imagined heat helping me out. I finally felt something hard like glass amidst all the mud, so I opened my hands and blammo! There was somewhat smoky colored diamond, cut into a big fat emerald cut. I took it in my right hand and held it up to the sunny sky to see it sparkle. When I did that, a giant image of the same diamond appeared in the sky, and even took on the smokiness. Once that happened, the diamond in my hand was no longer smokey. And it was suddenly princess cut. A big, sparkly, maybe 4 or 5 carrot diamond. Man I felt proud. I just held my diamond in the sunlight, looking at its giant smokey twin in the sky, thinking "yeah, that's enough for now," and woke up.

I went back to sleep and this time I was walking down the hall at work. What's with halls all the time? Oh well, give me time to walk and think and realize I'm dreaming lol. Anyway, again it hit me that I was just in bed, and I knew I had called in sick to work, so I shouldn't even be there. I bumped into my boss who said, "Well, since you're here you can go ahead and work your shift if you're feeling better." I just said, "Nah I've got other stuff to do," and I left. Now Chris was suddenly with me. I thought about the drawing task, and then I noticed something new: we were walking home, like we used to when we all lived in the apartment in Dallas. We were approaching the train station. Chris started taking off really fast, and it was starting to get dark. I panicked a little and called after him, telling him to wait up and not to run off, but he wouldn't stop. Then I just said, know what? fuck it, I'm doing the TOTM (HAH! +1). I attempted to draw with my finger on the side of the train station, when I remembered that my dream body had just come from work, and I always carry a pen and a sharpie in my pocket at work. I reached in my back pocket and found the pen! I was about to draw on the building, when I noticed to my right that there was a blank post-it note on the wall. Seriously? Is it my birthday? So I thought fast and drew a comet, with motion lines behind it, crashing onto earth. Then I looked up at the sky. It was dark now, and I could only see stars and a few wispy clouds. Then I saw a tiny illumination behind one of the clouds, and it got brighter and larger. Then something the size of a ping pong ball popped out from behind the cloud, and landed on the street in front of me, then bounced away. This happened a few more times, and each time the light behind the clouds was even more intense, suggesting that THIS time it would be a comet. Yeah right. When I finally got tired of watching ping pong balls, I just caught up with Chris and walked to the apartment. Danny had just come home from the grocery store, and was unloading groceries in the kitchen. He asked me to help him, and I started to. Then I said, "Nah, I may try the drawing task again," and left. I looked up at the sky, and there was a giant red Snoopy constellation in the night sky. I willed it to turn into a comet and crash into earth, but then I woke up.

Well poopananny then. But yay, a diamond!

Odd WILD. I crashed early after me and my boyfriend bow-chigga-bow-wowed, at about 10pm. I was really pooped from work. Anyway, I woke up a little before 2am because of a wee headache. I tried to go back to sleep, but all I could think about was the advil bottle in the kitchen. Which is probably a good thing, because then it forced me to get up, put on my pjs, get the advil and some water, then go back to bed. Then I was up maybe 20 more minutes waiting for it to kick in. I dozed off for a bit, then woke up again after what felt like maybe 10 minutes.

Then I was primed for the vibrations. Fortunately I was in a better position then that last time when my breathing got weird. I think I forgot to post about that. Anyway, I let the vibrations wash over me, then I phased into a lucid dream like usual. I got out of bed and thought of the prank TOTM. I left the bedroom hoping to find maybe Chris and prank him, but I woke up super fast. Fortunately I was still in the same comfortable position, and I felt vibrations again. I phased easily into another LD again, and I was able to get up, leave the bedroom, go into Chris's bedroom where I found him asleep in his bed. I couldn't think of how to prank him in an April Fool's style. All I could think of was to scare him awake. So I grabbed him and yelled "BOO!!" He woke up and yelled lol. I tried to think of one of the advanced tasks but I jus couldn't I really wanted to do the coal task. Would have been perfect because I was already in my house, and I have Kingsford in my backyard. Dadgummit. I woke up before I could really do anything else.

If it isn't one thing then it's something else haha. I was having trouble with the vibrations and transitions last couple weeks. Then I fix that, now my lucid memory stinks. It's really hard now that I work those 2 extra days a week. That's 2 less chances to LD the way I like, by sleeping in really late. On the bright side, these 2 short LDs happened between 2-3am, instead of my normal 7-10am. I don't get those very often so it's always a plus when I do.

Finally joined the Taste Club! I was away for the weekend, and I usually end up having LDs when I'm in a different bed. I was tossing and turning alot, so it was perfect for an LD.

I was having a non lucid about my 11th grade English teacher, Ms. Pasqual. She was a biaaaaaatch irl, and in the dream too. So we were all in class, and I don't remember what she did to get the whole class angry with her, but some students grabbed her, held her down, and told me I could bite her finger off. So I took her hand and put the tip of her index finger in my mouth and bit down. I bit down pretty hard, and began to hear and feel a crunchiness. As I was biting, I thought to myself "Hrmm, what does this taste like... kinda salty.." Oh shit, this is the Basic Task, I'm lucid!!!

I was so happy, so much so that I decided to be more kindhearted and let Ms Bitch keep her finger. But I wanted to taste something else, so I looked around the classroom. There was a large, wooden pepper-grinder in there for some reason. I picked it up and licked it. It tasted like salty wood. I wanted something more interesting, and found a box of crayola crayons. I told the class that I'm going to be tasting these crayons, and that their flavor will correspond to the color. So I grabbed a key lime crayon out of the box, and it tasted like lime! Only a bit sweeter, like key lime pie or something. The white one tasted like coconut, the blue was blueberry, the red was watermelon (I actually debated for a moment making the red apple or cherry, and the green would be watermelon, but I had already made green the keylime), and it was a really pronounced watermelon flavor. So fun, but I woke up right after that.

I actually DEILDed back into the classroom unintentionally, and went for a red crayon, hoping to make it taste like cherry, but then I woke up again.

Fun times

Had a DEILDy thing. My alarm woke me up at 6:45, then I went back to sleep. I got up at about 7:30 and went to the bathroom. When I went back to bed it hailed like crazy for 20 minutes. The power came on and off a couple times, then I fell back to sleep.

I was dreaming about being at work, and I had to go get something off one of the aisles really quick, so I ran. As I was running, I felt like there was a possibility that I was dreaming and could maybe even fly. So I jumped up as I ran, and took to flight. YAY lucid. I flew for a bit then remembered the basic task ii for this month. Fortunately the store was filled with DCs: team members and customers. I saw Alice (from the cashiers) walking away from me with another girl. I said "Hey Alice!" She turned around and looked at me, then turned into a random black girl.. weird. Anyway, I asked her "If you had one wish, what would it be?" She took a long time to answer, and I was afraid I was going to get a mute, brain-dead DC on this one. Finally she said, "I wish someone would make me my sandwich." So I grabbed her hand and said "Alrighty then!" Good thing this dream happened at work and there was a sandwich station. We went to the pre-made sandwich section, and I told her to pick one. She just couldn't. After a few suggestions, I finally picked up a tuna sandwich and said to her, "Oooo, look at this one, it's tuna! Doesn't it look goooood?" And I shoved it into her hand. Then I woke up.

I rolled over and felt vibrations right away. I waited for a few waves to cycle, then I felt like it was safe to slowly open my eyes. I got up slowly, noticing DC Danny sleeping in the bed. I didn't want to disturb him in case I wasn't in a dream yet (I still can't tell for sure sometimes in those first few seconds, which is why I always take it slow). I felt myself entangled in the sheets again, so I knew it was a dream. Then this is cool: as I walked to the bedroom door, I felt part of the pillow on the right side of my face. And I remember when I rolled over before, I rolled onto my right side. I could feel it as clearly as if I were awake and noticing the feeling of my face on the pillow, and the weight of my head on it. And yet here i was, standing up and walking around my room. Very surreal, like I was existing in 2 places at once, though I was more in the dream. Just a hint of the waking life dimension. I'll never forget it. Then I woke up.

I rolled over again, felt vibrations again, then opened my eyes slowly again. Again I wasn't sure if I was in the dream yet or not. In fact, I was more sure that I wasn't, so I closed my eyes to try again. Then I noticed that my mouth was filled with sawdust. It seemed perpetual as I kept digging it out of my mouth and spitting it out. Then I remembered that this was a dream sign of mine (and others), so I opened my eyes and got up again. But even after all that, I really felt like I had gotten up for real. Nothing was out of place at all! But I like to have that fuck it attitude when I WILD, just in case. Or else I'll be kicking myself later for having a FA. Anyway, I promised myself I'd test it out by flying when I got outside. I was pretty sure I was dreaming though. I made it to the livingroom, when I saw the DC version of my son Chris. He said, "Mommy, my bandaid is coming off," and pointed to his leg. He had some drooping gauze around his calf, and blood was starting to ooze from it. I forced myself not to tend to it, because I knew it wasn't real. But I invited him into the kitchen where I got us each a wine glass. And I told him we could throw them. So we threwthem against the wall and they shattered. That's so never going to get old haha. Then I said, "Ok Chris, just give me a few minutes. Wait right here," and I went outside. I started jogging, and broke into a run. As I was running, I hopped a couple times, and took to the air. I saw some interesting landscape ahead that I can't quite remember in detail. But I wanted to get there without soaring uncontrollably up too high, but not too close to the ground either (some lucid flying issues I have). Anyway, that's all I remember before waking up happy.

I really prepared myself for these 2 tasks, because I knew I could get them both in one dream. So I wrote myself a little note and left it in the kitchen under the bottle of olive oil. And since I knew that 99% of my WILDs start out in my bedroom, I simply had to get up, go to the kitchen, find the note, then start breaking stuff. I made myself remember this every night and at every WBTB. That note has been sitting there for a few days now, but I finally had success!

I had my usual WBTB. And this was difficult: I had cycles of WILD vibrations on and off for hours, but I was experiencing what can be best described as SP (yeah, I'm looking at you, you know who you are). The good news is that it was easy to break out of, but breaking out of it woke me up each time.

So I decided to try to help myself out: when ever I felt the vibrations, I'd try to get up, or open my eyes, or roll out of bed, but there were too many pillows or blankets or I was too far from the edge of the bed to make it easy. So each time I woke up out of the SP, I'd lose a pillow off my head, then remove all the blankets, then inch closer to the edge of the bed, loose another pillow. Finally, I was pillowless, blanketless, and literally had my legs half hanging off the bed, hoping I could just roll or slide out of bed onto the floor on the next wave of vibrations.

This psychoticness finally paid off, and I was able to stand up out of bed after a big wave of vibrations. It didn't last long and I woke up. But then I did it again, and very wobbly got out of bed. I looked immediately at the night stand (which occasionally has an empty or nearly empty wine glass). I remembered that there wasn't one last night irl, but I hoped there would be one there if I LDed and sure enough, there was my favorite stemless white wine glass. I picked it up and chucked it at the wall, and it shattered. Though with not much noise.

I went to the bedroom door, and it was locked, so I had to unlock it before I could open it. Duh, I know, but still funny that I actually had to do that. I was blind in my left eye, still a little wobbly, and feeling like I might lose the dream. So I just shouted "more lucidity and clarity" and told myself that I don't have eyeballs or eyelids right now. All my vision is a huge panoramic movie screen. My vision got to a functional 80% I'd say.

I continued to the kitchen, and literally ran like a school girl to the little piece of paper under the olive oil. I was so happy that it was there! In real life, I had written:

Hey Ophelia, you
still dreaming?

- Ophelia *

Now the paper just had a few polka dots, and 3 fluffy cows that looked like they were playing leap frog. I'm gonna draw it for the draw your dreams thread later, it was pretty funny. Anyway, I laughed out loud in the dream at that, then went to the pantry for more wine glasses. I pulled them out one by one and threw them. Some would break and a couple just bounced.

Then I went for the eggs in the fridge. They were right were I normally keep them. I took them out and chucked them at the wall, at the cat, and at a random DC who walked by. My cat didn't like it, and I actually apologized to her haha (real life Sofie thanked me this morning with a nice, wet hair ball). Anyway, I'm kicking myself now because if I had thought of it, I coulda asked that DC if he wanted a wish granted. Oh well.

I chucked a few more wine glasses, then finally woke up. I feel like I could have done more, but sometimes I think I just get bored in a lucid dream when I accomplish the goals I had made myself remember, instead of trying to remember more goals. I'll need to make myself remember a couple auxiliary goals just in case I nail the main ones