Ophelia's Book O' Fun II

Woah I've been naughty with the dream journal. Naughty as in not posting my non lucids. Bad ophelia.

Anyway, I was attempting my (formerly) usual DEILD, and there were just too many things waking me up... coughing kids dogs .. it's a holiday today. So around 10:30am, after yelling at Chris to let the dogs back inside because they were barking, and all but giving up on the DEILD, I began to drift off. Then I can't tell if this was real or not, but I heard the sound of a car hitting its breaks, and it lasted unusually long. Like 10 seconds maybe. I just kept listening, waiting for the car to stop screeching and be ok, or hear a crash. I heard a BIG BIG crash! I remember feeling sooo heavy and lethargic, and I wanted to get up and go check for hurt people. Almost felt like sleep paralysis, but not quite. I went straight into a dream, but didn't realise it. I was still thinking of the crash though, and found myself talking to my boss, Claudia, about it at work. So there I was in the bakery, and we were all "Ohhh, did you hear that wreck?" And she started to say something about some regional bakery members in reference to the wreck, but it made no sense. I said "Wait, what? Say that again?" And she just walked off toward her computer. I thought for a second, "That made no sense. I JUST heard that car wreck from my bedroom, but now I'm at work?" DOH! Lucid.

So the dream immediately went all snowy, but I remained calm. I followed Claudia, asking her to wait and talk to me. Hoping that would stabilize things a bit. I could barely see, so I was just following her in my mind, since i know that bakery like the back of my hand. I looked at my hands incidentally, couldn't see much through the technicolored snow. But I could hear and feel around just fine, so I went with that. I made it to Claudia's desk, and sat on the floor for some reason, trying to get her to tell me more about the wreck. Nothing. I stood up, and my vision came back. Now it was Chris on the computer, and he handed me a post-it with some writing on it. "This is the grocery list Mommy." The only two words on the list were: carrots, frosting. I laughed and said, "Oh, so you want carrot flavored frosting?" He said "Nuh uh, ewwwww." And for a split second i was going to indulge this part of the dream, and go shopping around the store for damn carrots and frosting. But then clarity hit me again, and I said, "No I want to play!" So I went down the back hall towards prepared foods department, hoping to find on of the hot chefs that work there. I felt the front of my jeans, and sure enough I had big boy parts. I got to the kitchen but it was empty. So I just messed with myself for a bit. Something I don't think I've ever mentioned before, but when I feel it, it doesn't exactly feel like it's mine. Like it's attached to me, but I don't get alot of sensation. It still turns me on, like if I were touching another guy, but still not the same. So I had the thought to lick my hand. That changed everything. (If this is getting to be too much, stop reading. I'm trying to be vague, but still.) It's like I woke up a non-existent proprioceptor, in a non-existent fallace. A true phantom nerve.. except usually people feel that when they've lost an appendage, not when they've never had it to begin with. Small detail, but noteworthy nonetheless. Then I noticed my assistant manager appear in the kitchen. We'll call him E. Now I've dreamed about him before. I don't particularly like him, but if I were single and desperate. And possibly drunk. And if it was dark, then I might do it once. At any rate, lucid desperation also counts for something, so I said "Yoh E, come here." He was rushing around and said "Ok, gotta do something first, brb." I said "No you don't, COME HERE." So he did a 180 and ran into my arms. Felt incredibly real, like I was really holding someone. I remember the feeling of his shirt, it was this ribbed black polyester, but was flowy and breathed nicely. Vision was still a bit snowy, but I was 100% going on physical sensations now. He went straight for my neck, and started biting it in a really sensual way. Fuck yeah. I told him to grab it, and he started jerking it really fast. I was in heaven. He kinda stopped for a second, as if he wanted to go ahead and have sex, but I said "No no, keep going.." He did. Dream faded. Woke up.

Still don't know if that car crash was real or not. I went outside but I didn't see anything. Cool dream.