side notes

Date: 12 June

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: Gingko

Sleep quality and recall: I was tired after getting only 6 1/2 hrs the day before, yet I spent too much surfing before bed. As a result I slept quite deeply, dreams were vivid, averagely accessible. I was not in the mood to take early notes.The LD chain totally messed up my recall. I recovered the key parts, but dream reality was much more detailed.

WBTB: Had a natural wake earlier and then later than planned. Decided to use the later as WBTB, drank 1/2 RB. Was sleepy so no problems there.

Fragment1: My school

WBTB

Fragment2: A friend from the very distant past finally appears in my dreams (at least this year). She wants some help with her research.

Dream3: I am back to my hometown and meet a neighbor friend of mine. I have some thoughts about her excessive use of alcohol and cigarettes. When I see her, she confirms my expectations, immediately starts smoking and we sit in some cafe/bar outside initially and have some beer. She finishes her bottle and as I notice I have also finished mine. She goes to get another one for her and I want one too. She pays for everything. I am concerned that I have finished my bottle so fast and am about to have a second one. I continue thinking that it is likely that we will drink at least 5 bottles each this evening. I feel drunk and wonder if this is going to mess up my lucidity. I heard there is great REM rebound.

Fragment4:I am in a room, similar to my old place, my parents are there. Dad has some issues and gives me one of his disapproval looks. I remember the bed, did I fall asleep?

My subcon takes over and decides it's time to have a lucid

LD1:

I am above the sea surface, remembering one of my non-current goals to check out things from the past. I don't know why but I end up investigating what happened to the titanic. I pay some thought to what has happened. (I watched the movie a long time ago and can't recall the story). I have thoughts/fake memories that in real life they still don't know what happened and concluded it hit an iceberg. They never found the black box. I am watching a zoomed part of a non-sunken ship when thinking this. I finally remember that I never wanted to know anything about the titanic. I want to move on. I am temporarily disconnected. I simply desire to continue the dream.

My subcon takes over and I easily resume from non-physicality/void.

LD2: I am flying over a city, which is supposedly the place in the past where I want to go. Initially it looks like a toy city in the midst of the ocean, but as control my flight (which is hard), it begins to look like a real city, and I recognize it as Rome. I see the Colosseum, which looks a bit different, also lots of buildings with red rooftops. It feels as if I am flying over ancient Rome at low plane altitude. It is so exciting, I really believe that I have managed to go back in time.

I am zooming in and out ancient Rome to manipulate the city into being the real Rome and not a toy replica. I notice that I am chewing gum. I am now in a large empty and borderless room and Rome is like a mini replica taking a large part of the room. I become concerned about the gum. I have a false memory of the room with dad where I think I have fallen asleep. "Yes, I had a chewing gum", I am thinking and believe I can feel it in my physical mouth. I wrongly remember that CL also fell asleep with chewing gum. I become very worried but decide that I am going to spit/take out the gum and this will make my physical self do it too. I begin maneuvering which makes me semi-enter the void and supposedly feel my physical body. I get out three pieces of chewing gum. I don't feel any gum in my physical mouth so I am relieved. The dream destabilizes and I end up in the void.

LD3 & LD4+:

My memory is a bit messed as the exact initial place where this began as I happen to DEILD back and experience a similar fragment of the dream. The dream was fading so I came back more than once.

I am in what looks like the outskirts of some city, it the midst of mostly greenery. I am talking to this guy, then explore around by myself. There are lots of plants so really no way to give more detail. To my right is some kind of a road with barbed fence, I want to go there, but notice only cyclists use it. I walk around a bit more, dream fades.

I am more or less at the same place and I see the same guy ( who is an actor I don't know his name irl) on the initial trail. I am happy to have some partner to explore with during the dream, but he becomes evil. I do my best to change him, by being overly positive. He initially does not change but instead does something to my back, it really hurts. I am thinking about "invulnerability" from DV competition, so I may try to use it if he continues, but the pain is very strange. He calms down a bit and we move along, still surrounded by greenery.

I am by myself, and have spent quite a while exploring around. While there are mostly plants around, I finally reach the city. It looks like a small town, not too modern or at least that part in front of me. I notice a yellow? building in front of me and some sign "Leyle.."or "Harley". I try to memorize the name so that I can check it out later. I can't recall the surroundings so well anymore.

I look to my left, where across the river I see a more modern looking city, illuminated sign with the location, and the Gateway arch (* that excuse my ignorance I had to later google to confirm is located in St. Louis). I continue on my way but the dream slowly fades.

LD5: I enter a white one-story building. There is a DC woman in front of me and she is saying something with an echo effect. I become excited and start talking with a fake accent, but I can't concentrate much on what I'm saying. The dream feels a bit unstable. Still I want to go on with it and think I may go for transformation this time. But then I notice that lots of DCs are sitting behind a table, starring at me, much like a jury. It dawns on me that this is the perfect opportunity to get naked. I look down/stretch my clothes and with a relief see that this time I am wearing an easy long white polo-style dress. I am still worried that I will wake up once it gets on my eyes, so talk to the DCs first. I tell them to sing along, I want to use the sound as an anchor. I keep repeating, now incorporating a melody "Sing along" as I take my dress off. I now go to take my panties off. Panties gone. I do feel a little weird after these actions, a DC woman is looking at me surprised. I really hope that this isn't for real. I am all naked but for a bra that I try to take off as I wake up.

I am in my body and want to go for a DEILD. I lie on my back and wait but it doesn't work. Interestingly, I am also starving. It is not easy to LD.

What I have noticed today: It was much easier to continue LDing when I had a strong desire to resume with the dream. My subcon did the work, with little involvement on my part, which may account for the successful chaining.

Based on location I am approximating the 5+ LDs to an official count of 4 LDs and 1 micro ld.

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Progress with this months goals (as of 12 June morning):

- Do 100 RCs (10/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (11/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (5/10)
- 10 morning RCs (2/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 10 (official count)
micro-lds: 2 (for informative purposes, not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

EDIT 22.08: after more experience with lds, I realized that this was not DEILD chaining, as I didn't really wake up from the dream and feel my body in any way, just the dream ended and a new one started.

Date: 11 June

Comments: A bit behind on journaling, today's entry to be posted later, and sorry for any typos.

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: multivits, l-arginine

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, started earlier (3+ hrs after sleep), dream content was normal this time (referring to l-arginine). Recall - I was lazy

Early Fragment1: I was left with the impression that this was lucid, but very little memory of it. It had to do with seeing some objects from Xanous's OBE? The only more or less clear visual memory is of small cotton-like object/s. >>> goes to category suspicious

Fragment2: In my parents' place, some disturbing noise

Dream3: I thought it was interesting and easy to remember. We all know how this ends.

WBTB: missed the usual natural wake, woke up a bit later, and I drank the whole latte although I knew it was not such a good idea. Struggled for quite some time, but did not look at the clock as not to add up more anxiety.

Dream4: In my parents' place, aunt is also there and starts eating, this distracts me. I casually lie on the couch, three blankets and a bottle of plum sauce.

Dreamlet5: some rasta guy

I drift in and out of sleep. In bed, I want to sleep. I continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Dream6 WILD: I'm in those strange states where I am semi-consciously controlling what I'm doing, trying to have the dream form around me and hold on to it. The first thing I notice are my hands, clasping a bottle. Slightly confused as I think for a second I am still in bed, I keep my eyes closed. Still not fully in the dream, I know that the key to my integration today has to do with me holding the bottle of I think then alcohol or plum sauce, so I apply as much pressure as I can. Then the surroundings become clearer and I know I am successfully there.

I am sitting on a bench in my neighborhood, no DCs in sight. I begin touching the surface of the white bench to stabilize. I look up and see a few ghost-like transparent but black birds in the sky. I check out my surroundings but I have an issue moving my head, and then identify that the problem is coming from my right eye, which gets some sort of tunnel vision. I don't want to move my head too much to avoid waking up, so I ignore this and decide to walk on the street.

I make a few steps and then my right side is paralyzed, so I lose balance and fall. Oh, no, not this thing again! The feeling is very hard to describe, but it's like I am feeling the physical body's atonia with my dream body, which makes me lose control over parts of the dream body. I try to ignore the issue, drag myself forward a bit and think that maybe concentrating on some tasks will fix it. I remember four tasks. I don't think I am able to get to Xanous at the moment. There are no DCs around to interact with. I think about transformation but nothing seems to happen. What did the guys say to do in such a case? Try floating up. Doesn't work. I have no dream control at all.

It is also cold, and I notice my blanket is nearby so I want to reach for it. The last thing I remember is looking above a building and seeing a large dark military helicopter above it. It is also ghost-like transparent. I am not very interested in it, I look down, struggle for a little while and then give up. I wake up. I am too caffeinated to fall asleep although I try.

Note: This was not scary in any way, but it was really annoying.

Comments:

1. Yes, drinking the whole latte was a mistake!
2. Starting an ld from scratch can be a pain in the b. I need more practice.

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- Do 100 RCs (8/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (9/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (4/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 6 (official count) as of 11th June
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: I continue to be very sleepy, although recall today was a bit better.

WBTB, snooze and recall: Decided against WBTB (lazy), but set the final alarm for a bit earlier. I had what I thought was an interesting dream in the last 30 mins of sleep so kept on hitting the snooze button, and tried to go back there to continue with the story. That messed up my recall a bit, but I still enjoyed it.

Dream1: We are on the street and a friend of mine says something that irritates me. It hit her with a NG magazine. DCs around me stare at me with disapproval. They also think I am a man hitting a woman. A girl from India comes and I begin explaining myself to her.

She starts giving my friend some creepy advice and then continues to say that "you (not sure who she is addressing) should do some lucid meditation, as one learns by leaps and bounds"

"Red and cinnamon are after all two of many (40?) hues....of the penumbra"???

This dream was really cool, but bf was snoring so loudly, I just couldn't hold on to it for more info.

Dream2: A class meeting, girls only this time, all the usual classmates that are DS, but instead of realizing this is a dream I engage in nonsense conversations. One of the classmates is married to a guy that has to do with chicken production and I comment on some movies I have seem about that. Another female friend of mine has a a girlfriend and buys her some lemonade. I feel jealous.

Dream 3(snooze fragmented and mini-Ld):

I am flying over the street and try to avoid a dangerous individual. Other DCs start running very fast when they are close to him.

I am sitting on a table, looking at some food and want to rescue a burrito from ending up in the trash. This guy acts very agressively and does not allow me to get my burrito. I am forced to go with him. (Snooze)

He is dangerous and most likely has killed someone, and the police is after him. Despite all that, I feel some sympathy towards him and we are friends. He wants us to go to his apartment. I have some alarming thoughts of why am I going to his place, and what are we going to do there, but dismiss them. We reach the street where he lives. I suspect undercover cops have parked in front of the place. Doesn't he know that his apartment is the first place the cops will look for him? He sees the lights of his place are on, so we go back. (Snooze)

He decides to highjack a bus so that we can drive to my place. I really don't want us to go there. I am also worried that he is a reckless driver, so go to the back seat. (Snooze)

I am in the bus/car with him and am looking for my burrito, but it seems like I have changed clothes, have a different handbag and the burrito is gone. I take some time to look around, knowing that this is a dream. The story in my mind lasted pretty long and I find it really cool. I think about reporting this dream and contemplate about my feelings for this guy, I conclude I have the Stockholm syndrome...

I wake up

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Progress with this months goals (as of this morning):

- Do 100 RCs (6/100) <<<<<<Terrible!
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (4/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (3/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 5 (official count)
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 1 (not counted)

Total sleep time: 9 + hrs

Pre bed: 500 mg l-arginine (inspired by Highlander)

WBTB: woke up naturally after 5 hrs, but was super sleepy, so decided to skip the efforts/latte today.

Dream recall: I was planning on taking a break and just sleeping tonight, had it not been the ld at the end, there wouldn't have been a journal entry

Dream contents: the night was characterized by bizarre vivid dreams that I mostly forgot. I tried committing one dream to memory (again no keywords noted) as I thought it is easy to remember. Nothing from that dream. What I recalled is from the last hour of sleep, still pretty bizzarre and gave me a strange feeling too.

Dream1: In our old place, the way it looked many years ago. I am in the room, which at that point in time is dad's workplace. There are a lot of birds there, but soon I notice that some of them are on the floor and do not move. I conclude they are dead. I have a fake dream memory that there was some kind of disease raging, affecting mostly birds and other small animals. I notice lots of robin-like birds (alive) on the wardrobe. Then more dead birds on the floor. I don't think it's a good idea to stay in the room, the air is contaminated. I see some textbooks of mine and begin to gather them before I leave the place.

Dream2: I am in a bus and there is a discussion about a race ( cars/bikes?). My parents are also there. We are looking forward to finding out who the winner is, but it won't be known until 4 hrs later. We can buy tickets to the final, where the winner will be cycling/parading on the streets. I don't want to go there, but mom is talking to the bus driver. I think she will buy two tickets, but instead buys two coffee machines. They go to the back of the bus to get them.

Dream3 DILD: In a special room, a woman I know is like the head of this organization. It looks like a room for a lot of audience, but a bit altar-like. On the stage are a lot of this woman's favorite actors/musicians, most of them are from the past and long gone. Freddie Mercury is also among them. So she is related maybe a deputy for an organization's leader, who I identify as a special friend from my past.

I see a newspaper and begin reading the whole story of the organization. I can't wait to finish it and find out where my friend is now. At that time a DC, who plays the role of a classmate of mine is next to me, places her elbow on the newspaper, so I cannot read. I move the newspaper, but the article is not there, I start browsing the pages, looking for it in vain. I give up.

Me and classmate DC are going somewhere. I see a shop where they sell bracelets and try out one, but it doesn't fit. There are also lots of golden objects, the size and more or less shape of a pen. I notice one very cool looking - a brush entirely made of gold. The bristles are very soft and flexible and I swipe the top of my hand with the brush, but don't feel anything at all. I leave the brush where the other golden objects are. My classmate had selected some golden item and goes inside the store to pay. I accompany her inside and notice that I now hold a golden knife-like item, but do not have the money to buy it. It somehow ends up in my mouth where it stretches, changes shape, and by the time I get it out it is a golden spiral covered with pinkish chewing gum. I move on.

I face a door leading to a hospital-like corridor and go into that direction and end up in a vast room. I have the desire to find my special friend. While observing the room I become lucid. At this moment, my classmate walks through the door and joins me in the room. It is just a DC representation of my classmate, doesn't look like her much, but I am really amazed how this DC managed to follow me from the store. I pay no more attention to her and concentrate on the huge room in front of me.

There are many DCs there, and I decide to ask them where my special friend is. I go and talk to an old lady and ask her about him. She says she will go and get him soon, so I find that pretty cool. I contemplate on the amount of DCs in the room and how they all seem very independent (from my subcon). I have some feeling of the dream becoming unstable so move forward and wonder how real it all seems. I run my hand on the top part of a sofa, so real, stare in front of me, and I even hear a beeping sound which repeats over and over again, like an ECG (possibly an alarm from WL).

The room is on the first floor and leads to a large campus like inside yard. There are lots of people there, but the thing that immediately catches my attention is a black coffin, held in the air by two DCs. The sight gives me the creeps, and I begin crossing myself, a number of times, closing my eyes. Once I calm down a bit, I begin to feel that the dream is about to go, because there are no stimuli, I almost don't see anything and cannot open my eyes! I then remember that someone in DV ( gab or OB, or both, thanks a lot!) said it is possible to see through your eyelids. So I actually see a bit of the scene through the eyelids, and concentrate on it. My vision gets back to normal and I forget about the issue. The same DCs are still gathered there, holding torches as this funeral? is taking place. Most likely the coffin will be brought inside.

That doesn't matter much now because I feel the dream slipping away once again. I look around as much as possible and notice the building surrounding the yard, reminding me of a 18-19th century large hospital or campus or both. I begin to panic as I know I am waking up and I really wanted to learn more about the place. I stop a female DC dressed with strange clothes I don't have much time to investigate and say to her "Quickly, tell me where is this place" twice. She replies something like "America, reserve Neuhausen/Munchausen". I believe at that point that there really may be a place like this and repeat it a few times so that I can check it out later. I consider going in the building but the dream is violently coming to an end and the first floor is on fire.

I decide to check with the place location once again. I see three unpleasant problems individual DCs and engage one of them, asking him where we are. He is so out of place in this dream, doesn't pay any attention to me but instead picks up his phone and starts talking to someone else. Whatever. I look down and see lots of broken mobile phones in the mud...(end of memory and wake up)

I wake up overexcited and tell bf about the dream and he tells tha strangely he also dreamt about Munchausen/neuhausen. I wanted to know more about his dream. We concluded that it is very likely that I have repeated the name during my dream with my real voice and that has carried over to his dream.

Comments: I don't know whether it was my once again very deep sleep or the l-arginine that has caused so much bizarreness today. The dreams had a distinguishable different feeling to them, although it is hard to describe.
The last dream felt very ...different too. I will refrain from any rationalizations at this point.

Date: 08 June

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: cold latte (103.4 mg caffeine), did not feel very strong despite the warnings on the label

Dream quality and recall: Hmm, recall was quite difficult today, I was extremely sleepy pre WBTB and after falling asleep post WBTB. Vividness was as far as I can remember normal. Not totally sure about the sequence of the dreams. I did wake up naturally after WBTB and tried to commit the dreams to memory without taking any notes, but then quickly fell asleep. After final wake I was like " What, I don't remember anything at all?" Then some fragments emerged.

Dream1: I am in my grandma's place and there is a hungry lion in there too. I barely notice it , just know that it is there. (It seems I wasn't looking forward to giving it a hug today!) So, I get a large bone to lure it, it looks like some big KFC leftover and I throw it in the corridor, while trying to sneak out. I am not very sure where this lion is, but I am contemplating on an escape plan...

Fragment2: In some place, which reminds me of a block that I only dream about. The place is a bit different, and the floor is made of Chinese tiles. I am crossing it, and in the meantime lots of Asians appear there. They have to be careful because there are fragile blue/white Chinese dishes on the floor. I go with a touch of irritation, pick some guy and tell him he should not do what he is doing. I get the feeling of another dream with some Japanese girls I had a long time ago.

Fragment3 DILD: No idea how this dream started, when I got lucid and what I else I did while lucid. It is quite dark, and it seems I ran into a DC that I assume is Xanous. I address him and start talking to him. I remember he may not be lucid, so I grab him by the shoulders, shake him a bit and repeat several times that this is a dream. Then I remember to do the gesture, and finally repeat the passcode a few times. It looks like he is trying to memorize it, I repeat it a few more times, hopefully he will remember. I hold his head with my hands, while the dream slowly fades away.

Comments: Well a bit unlikely that this was Xanous, did he say anything back? I am so good at terrorizing innocent DCs. Sorry guys!

Date: 7 June

Total sleep time: 8+ hrs

Pre bed: SJW, B6

Sleep quality and WBTB: I have been sleeping like a sloth all week long. One thing I have changed in my WBTB routine was to switch from using an alarm to using natural wakes. This has worked out partially fine. I do wake up naturally 2-3 times after sleeping 4-5 hrs. I think that in this way I am allowing my body to determine the best time for WBTB, instead of me forcefully using the alarm. The only problem is that, out of fear not to cause insomnia and possibly due to laziness, my WBTBs were not as serious as they should have been, thus not raising alertness to desired for LD levels. Will have to work on that.

Dream recall: While my recall has been somewhat reduced by my sleepiness, I have additionally been skimming my dreams. I have been putting only keywords instead of journaling, which has allowed me to...sleep more. The dreams weren't too interesting, so there wasn't much that I have missed apart from a brief lucid yesterday, that I couldn't access at all. I think that's fine so far.

WBTB: peppermint oil capsules

Dream1 DILD: I missed the transition. I suddenly find myself in front of my parents' place but the way it was a few years ago. I spend some time looking around, feeling happy. Then the neighborhood begins to morph into other buildings from my home town, so I stop staring at them, because I feel that I am causing the change. I check out my hands and they are in a mudra. After yesterday's discussion, I now wonder if I should try meditating in the dream or try to recall a past memory. I spend too much time in idleness and the dream escapes. I find myself in the void.

I feel that if I wake up I can successfully DEILD back. I am in the void and not back in bed yet but get confused because I feel my body? Obviously this is my dream body and some dream is starting to form, but I think that I am in my bed feeling my real body. In real life I am sleeping in my bed, but the body I feel while in the void is sitting in a chair. I am too dumb to realize that this is my dream body, get irritated with the strange position I have assumed, try to change it and lie down? I struggle in the dark. Then I wake up in another dream.

Dream2: Short FA, where I am in bed, reviewing the event and now completely sure after the dream that whatever I couldn't remember yesterday was indeed a very short LD where I didn't get much done.

I wake up (left side) for real and take key notes

Dream3: An elegant Asian woman talks about investment opportunities. She recommends that Western countries allocate 50 percent of FDI to China and the other 50 to Malaysia. This interview happens during some event. While this is happening I hear a piano playing. It is part of the melody from Mika's Grace Kelly. The sound is astonishing.

Fragment4: A classmate follows me around kissing me. While it feels pleasant I try to avoid him because I have a bf.

Fragment5: Me and a friend enter in a luxurious store where they sell toothpaste. It slowly changes and is now some kind of bar full of hookers.

Fragment6: I look into the nearby building and Christian Slater is there with more hookers having some night party

Fragment7: Me and bf, no comments

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Progress with this month's goals:

- Do 100 RCs (added)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (added)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (3/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

Although May has been a good month in terms of LDs (15 + 4 micro-lds), my induction routine has become very disorganized and I feel I need to use this month to work on that. I also want to attempt a more viable sleep/wake life balance because I have been taking lots of my meditation time to dream journal. So my current goals for June:

- 10 proper WBTBs
- 2 real WILD attempts
- 10 mornings when I RC upon wake
- rely on intuition as to how much to dream journal
- possibly concentrate on fewer tasks during lds?

Date: 31 May

Pre bed: multivitamins (included gingko and ginseng), SJW, two drops of peppermint oil

Side effects: increased heart rate, heavy insomnia

Other: I think the multivitamins I took stimulated me too much before bed time. I was also dehydrated which made the situation worse. The heart rate wasn't too fast, but it was noticeable when going to bed and made it difficult to fall asleep.

Dream quality and recall: WILD, too dark, which made it harder to engage in the dream. The two DILDs after that were vivid and of higher quality. I woke up after each one. Then had about two hours of insomnia, went into very deep sleep and had little recall.

Impressions: It was an interesting experience, although I wouldn't repeat it again (because of the insomnia)

Sequence: multivits > heartbeat> WILD> about a hour of sleep/or trying to sleep> DILDs> insomnia> deep sleep> WBTB> dream

Dream1 WILD: In bed, dehydrated and with a noticeable heartbeat which made it difficult to fall asleep. I was still for some time, paying attention to the heartbeat, then found myself in darkness. It felt like my consciousness was split in three sections. Part of it was asleep, part of it knew exactly what to do, giving me instructions, and part of it followed the instructions. A bit like having three different thoughts at the same time.

I am in the darkness, and I say to myself how exactly I should grab the scene. The instructions are now vague, but I remember struggling with the darkness, and performing some bodily movements until I end up on a solid street. I find it a bit strange that I am now on this street, a city from my past, I notice that I am sitting on the pavement. It is dark, and there is nobody in sight. I decide to walk a bit, choosing another street I know. I spend some time walking, and reach a bus station. I look around once again, everything is still very dark, so it is hard to see, and there isn't a single light on.

I am a bit worried that the dream will escape, because I almost cannot concentrate on anything here. Then the "interact with a DC" task comes to mind. I know Xanous would probably not be asleep at this time, but decide to try to reach him nevertheless. I call out Xanous a few times, and look around. I cross the street and there are some DCs there, I stop one and try to ascertain if this is Xanous. It is dark, so hard to tell any facial feature, and the guy's face is also blurred. Well, it doesn't feel like him so I let the DC go. I stop another one and hold him for a while. His face gains a bit more definition and I try to analyze it in the darkness. I say that whatever I am doing makes no sense but still hold on to the DC. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

I go to drink some water then back to bed. Reviewed the dream in mind. Fell asleep.

While I had begun to question whether some of my short lucid moment memories that I couldn't recall in the past few weeks were real, I now have an absolute certainty because I woke up shortly after these two.

Dream2 DILD: In some version of the same city, but everything is much more vivid now and it is day time. I am supposed to meet a friend of mine like the last time we did that. But somehow our plans don't work out. Instead I end up facing a threat from an invisible enemy. I am lucid now, and have a greater sensory perception. Initially it was as if I am on the balcony, but it quickly changes into multidimensional walled space in front of me, hard to describe. The energetic entity is not visible because it is behind the wall, yet I feel it because I stretch move with my entire being through the wall that feels like just space, and come in close contact with it. It is not pleasant, I feel its energy. I am trying to move it away by manipulating the matter. I get rid of the thing and find myself between four walls with creamy tiles on them. I notice that there is no door, but don't care much. I can move through space.

Dream3 DILD: In the more or less the same city, some kind of scenario is developing. People are still using horses instead of cars, they are leaving the city because of some emergency. I watch while this is happening, there is some blue stuff of the floor. I remember that this is the second time this is happening. I am lucid, I spill more blue stuff on the floor, and enjoy it for a while. I make a strange posture to show/explain something to one of the DCs in the room? I turn and look to the other side of the room where there is a window. I decide to stabilize the dream by intending it. I check the overall feeling, yes, stable. My mind is also clearer now. I look out the window, and see three boys in the distance. "Interact with a DC", on my mind again. (I really wish I could remember more tasks! ). I climb through the window and slide down. It feels like the roof of a building or on top of a train. The boys are playing soccer, so I shout that I want to play with them. They kick the ball towards me and I see it coming, but it is too high, I control its movement so it is easy for me to catch it. As I am preparing to have a kick, the dream falls apart and I wake up?

Fragment4: I am having a short dream where I am discussing the three boys. I identify one of them as a neighbor kid from the past, but I know he is grown up now.

I wake up and review the dreams, I am super awake and cannot fall asleep for two hours. When I finally do, I slip into unmemorable dreams.

WBTB: I wake up tired about one hour before the planned wake time. Upset that I messed up the plan for tonight. I decide to take one p.oil capsule, then go to bed concentrating on having an ld.

Fragment5: A classmate is wearing strange clothes

Fragment6: I am in some water, and there is sand around. My bf is also swimming with me in this strange place. I try to get out of the water, climbing strange sand dunes. Then we go to an indoors swimming pool where I plunge into the water, a bit worried about hitting the bottom.

Date: 30 May

Dream quality and recall: There was an improvement in vividness, my awareness during dreams today was high, with a possible short ld moment. Recall was slightly better than previous days, but still below my average. There was a dreaming/ld theme so I take it as a positive sign. Postponed writing down the dream, so lost some details.

Dream00: I just remember some brief moment of lucid awareness during the dream

Fragment1: I am discussing dreaming with someone

Dream2: I see a classmate and talk to her. Then on same the street there is an older lady that has some connection to charity. A bit later, I am with the same lady but in a store, where I am trying some shoes. They are slightly uncomfortable, but I decide to buy them. I go to the cashier with the same DC woman and explain something about the shoes. The price has been reduced but they are still extremely expensive. Obviously I like them a lot, and decide they are worth it. I barely manage to gather enough money, but find additional small change in my wallet so I happily make the purchase.

Later on, a number of times and for some unknown reason, I keep coming back to the place where the DC woman was, but she is not there anymore. It looks like a room full of lockers now. A group of teenagers follows me and they make bold moves, touching my butt. I become annoyed and threaten them with my bf. I continue on my way until I see a nice place where they sell food and other fancy Japanese items. Bf is also here. I briefly talk to the woman behind the counter. The whole place gradually changes and is now more like a highly specialized store, and the thing they specialize in is lucidity! I see a whole section of lucid- inducing supplements, including G, mucuna, lots of books, crystals, etc. I am very happy to have found this place and consider purchasing some of the things. (CL you may have something to do with this!)

Fragment3: Talking to my aunt

Date: 28 May

Comments: Fourth day of fragmented recall, I hope this isn't the new normal

Fragment1: In my grandma's place, there is a huge box of B2 vitamins

Fragment2: Eating blue sharks, I was wondering about the exact species names

Fragment3: I possibly had an ld on the street, some animals were involved.

Fragment4: FA, I catch myself thinking about the dream that has just been, semi awake to bring this temporarily to consciousness, then fall asleep again.

Fragment5: My mom's friends are accompanying a living body which is just a body no mind/soul at the moment, and can easily follow them by itself as long as they are close enough. I later see a big lady bug which hits something like a lamp and makes loud noise when doing so.

Date: 27 May

Total sleep time: 9 + hrs

Pre bed: Lots of spaghetti

Sleep quality and recall: while I know that there were many long dreams , I cannot access them. Was very sleepy and it felt like deep sleep, woke up a few times naturally, but decided against any serious WBTB.

Fragment1: I am discussing dreaming quantity and mantras

Fragment2: A small white fluffy dog

Fragment3: sexy moments

Fragment4: In high school, my teacher from primary school is there and he seems angry

Fragment5: In high school again, in another room making plans with a friend of mine

Fragment6: In some place which is supposed to be my parents', I must evacuate the place because someone is after me, but I am distracted, they almost get me.

Fragment7: It is the middle of the final school year, and a friend of mine gets transferred to our class. I am very happy about that and begin to imagine how cool it will all be

Total sleep time: 7.5 hrs

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was too alert. The situation was made worse by neighbors and other sounds from nearby individuals. I was looking forward to some nice sleep but got interrupted many times, ruining chances of proper ld and fragmenting recall.

Pre bed: Q10, fish oil

WBTB: lecithin

Fragment1: once again, I recall that I was lucid, but it was in my first REMs, so I just remember many people, and perhaps looking at them made me lucid. This is so annoying.

Dream2: At grandma's place, in one of the drawers I find a small golden box with Chinese letters on it. I open it and there are some buddhist things that change to earrings and then an ancient necklace. The necklace reminds me of those worn by Amazon tribes. I myself am not dressed at least above the waist and my hair is like that of a member of that tribe, cut short and colored brown reddish, very thick. I put on that necklace and comment on how well it goes with my hairstyle and lack of clothes.

Fragment3: I am in the supermarket with dad. There are two sections where the veggies are, that we have bought from another place, so I wonder, how we are going to go pass the cashier and explain they belong to us and we don't need to pay for them. Our veggies look a bit strange, but I explain to myself that it is because they are Chinese? There are also some cute cactuses, I cannot eat those...

Fragment4: I am watching a black and white music video where two girls are flirting with each other. They are actually underwater, and I wonder how are they able to sing. As I wake up, I still hear the music from the video in my head.

WBTB: took lecithin, remembered to RC, which is good! I was a bit sleepy, only 4 mins out of bed, so when I returned I did some serious mantra repetition, which unfortunately woke me up too much. I tried cycling, but only did one cycle, because I was getting nervous. It took me about half an hour to fall asleep.

Fragment5: I am in my grandma's place again, I am supposed to be some kind of receptionist

Fragment6: FA, I wake up in our bed, and things start to get sexy with bf

Fragment7: FA, I want to induce a lucid, so I take another tablet of fish oil

Fragment8: bf's mom has made an amazing fruit cake, with whatever leftovers she found. I comment it must have taken her at least four hours to prepare it. It is delicious.

Dream9: I am observing some kind of glass wall that is supposed to protect the beach from huge waves. I am staring the ocean in front of me, and see large waves rising, up to the moment they get huge. I climb a hill to get away from the high water. I then enter something that looks like our old place and begin packing my things, putting everything in a suitcase, to protect it from the water.

Fragment10: In a room, there are lots of umbrellas and I am trying to identify which one is mine

Note to self: I really have to remember to RC when waking up, I seem to be getting more FAs recently.

Date: 24 May

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

WBTB: 2x200mg peppermint oil tablets

Dream quality, lucidity and recall: My dreams were extremely vivid today, I dare say, more vivid that real life. I believe this was the reason why I got a number of lucid moments during the night. While being aware that this is a dream, I continued to engage in the dream, soon losing lucidity. My recall has been rather poor again, which made it harder to figure out how it all happened.

Sleep schedule: I had trouble going to bed on time last few nights, but avoided taking sleep aid supps (mel and valerian) for a number of reasons. Messing up my sleep schedule has made me feel very sleepy and possibly affected my recall.

Dream zero: lucid, happiness, no other memory

Fragment1: some kind of game, rocks, I am walking around

Fragment2: my parents at some event

Fragment3: FA, in my bed recalling the previous dreams and happy I just had a lucid. I am between dream and waking state and I realize that this review is taking place in my head. I drag myself out of the dream and wake up to dream journal properly.

WBTB: upon wake I notice how sleepy I am. I try to recall the lucid, but only remember the feeling and no other details. I hold the memory of Fr1 and fr2 in my mind. I go to take some peppermint tablets, then back to bed. I quickly fall asleep forgetting almost everything.

Fragment4: I want to make tea, I am looking at an unused teabag of green tea, which becomes a box, containing two black teas and one green. On the green one is written "blue goddess" and also "hotel memorabilia"

Dream5: We are at some party and it is really late. Lucid moment. I meet a classmate that I like and I want to tell him something. (something like shared dreaming attempt residual that I keep on doing in some lucids). I tell him to come with me in the other room for five mins, but he refuses. I am thinking about my dad coming to pick me up when the party is over, etc. Another classmate of mine (f), we talk with her, she is one of my best friends. She shares that she is really unhappy with her life, and so on. Very emotional connection with her irl and dreams. She begins to cry, and I embrace her, we stay like this for a long time. Another friend of mine (f), comes and joins us and three of us are holding hands in some silent act of consolation...Lucid moment. Memory gap. We are arranging to meet at our new dream apartment, which looks really nice.

Fragment6: someone has bought a toy, it is a car that behaves like rat because it can climb on the windows

Fragment7 DILD: I am in the suburbs, a familiar place but it looks like it is in the past, so I become lucid. Someone is after me, I am running, climbing a fence. . I think I was trying to figure out a way out of the situation, but I cannot remember anything else.

Dream8 DILD: I am on the street and see a small boy and his mother. The vividness is incredible. He throws large stones at me, I am worried that he will break my ipod with the stone, but it is ok. He continues throwing stones, while initially concerned about my safety I realize this is a dream, so no need to worry that much. The stones are very colorful, lots of them on the ground. I pick up one and go menacingly to the boy. I can't bring myself to throw one at him, so I decide to threaten him instead. I do so, in pseudo French. It is really hard to express whatever it is that I am trying to say, so I end up making strange words that don't exist. At this point or a bit later I lose my clarity. I go over to his mother and begin apologizing about my French.

Dream9 DILD: Family and other relatives are discussing politics, I try to remain impassive. I am indulging in a chocolate cake and then drink some mayo salad that grandma has made. It doesn't taste as usual, and I say it out loud, grandma is a bit offended. Family is leaving somewhere. I am on the bus station in my hometown, cross on red light, and continue on my way to our old home. As I am walking, the dream kind of jumps forward, so I find myself in front of our door. I think to myself "Why did I decide to walk, when I know I could just teleport here?", Hmmm, teleport here? I am aware that this is a dream now. I still want to go in the place so I start unlocking the door. Then suddenly I hear a slightly scary metal sound, like movement of keys. I remind myself not to pay any attention to it, and that it will disappear. Instead it gets louder, comes closer.

I concentrate on unlocking the door, but even as I move the key, the door won't open. I begin thinking why is that, the sound is now really close. I decide to face it, and look down the stairs. Pfuu, it is just my dad! He comes and opens the door and we are in! I am in the corridor with dad, it is dark, and kind of...too dimensional. I am talking to him, but it is hard, and my voice sounds really distorted. I try again but the effect is the same. My prospective memory finally activates, recalling the first two of three step task, interact with a DC, ok. Then eat something. I see a small plant in front of me, and think no! I head to the kitchen to look for food. It is dark, the furniture is different and I cannot remember where the fridge is. I finally find it. At that moment dad comes with some strange foamy orange juice cocktail drink. I take it and think for a while whether that counts as eating something, then have a drink. Before I can enjoy any taste, the dream totally falls apart and I am back in my bed. I remain still and wait a bit, but nothing happens, and begin to think too much, so I wake up. Note to self: maybe be a bit more patient next time?

Comments: I have been getting more of these lucid moments but I really don't know how to account for them in my private dream count as well as on DV, because they are kind of short and I'm having problems with lucid recall.

At the end of the month, I probably will be including a total count, with a reference how many of these are micro-lucids. Before, I counted every lucid I had as plus one, but now I look more at the length and quality. This is getting so confusing. Anyways, I still think it is a very good progress for the past two months. If my dream control ever gets really good, one day I would like to go back and relive those dreams and remember them in full detail.

Date: 22 May

Total Sleep Time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 120 mg gingko

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was very sleepy today, I guess that has affected my recall. My prospective memory and concentration during the lucid were not at their best either.

Fragment1: the dream involved Xanos, no other memory

Dream2: A class meeting again. It is late at night and we are discussing with the girls where we are about to go. I feel like dancing so I am totally fine with any place they suggest. I notice that they have put on some weight. My dad is over-protective and follows me around. I arrange to secretly meet with my best school friend and take her to a concert. I will buy her the ticket. On what I think is the next day, we meet in the morning and take the subway. She has moved to my city, it seems.

Fragment3: We are eating some mix of bacon and cheese, tasted very realistic

Fragment4: the office is closed, my dad is looking for something

WBTB: Took gingko. Recalled dreams and did some dream incubation during which I have fallen asleep.

Dream5: I am watching some trees from above, and want to change their color. It feels a bit like I am observing using google map. Soon I am at the place of interest, in the middle of a lake. There is an old wood-made ship close to the also quite old and dusty quay. I have a game like attitude and want to rearrange the whole place. I succeed in making more space where I want to. Then I am in the water, swimming forward, but it is not very pleasant because this lake is a bit dirty. There is also a fish nearby, and I don’t like that.

Dream6: Instead of the normal section of a restaurant, I decide to follow a DC and go to another part. I am climbing some stairs to reach my destination, but the place is very hard to get to because the doors are smaller. I reach the third floor, where I talk to the waiter – a friend of mine. Three other DCs appear. One of them tells me that he has a Japanese geisha girlfriend and that they are in an open relationship, they are dating some other special girl. He shows me a brochure where all this is explained using some strange Japanese words. I think that he expects me to join their little arrangement, so I say no thanks.

Fragment7: I am in a car, and the waiter of another place we were in, is now John Malkovich. He comes in, bringing my favourite sandwiches. They are perfect.

Dream8 DILD: I am in an interesting looking town, but pay little attention to it at first. I am with four friends, one girl I clearly know, two DC friends in the background and another girl. The other girl is the girlfriend of a friend of mine, and she has come to meet me. At first, I don’t feel at ease with the two girls, even though they are friends, so I fly to the level of the first floor, and follow everybody as they are walking down the street, just above them. I think of why I am doing this and then fly back down. The new girl has brought me some presents – she hands me two notebooks, with school notes, chemistry and other stuff. Then another one with patriotic poems translated in a foreign language. Who would want to read something like that, I am thinking to myself.

At some point which I cannot remember, I become lucid. I feel I have spent a long time exploring around. The next more clear lucid memory is me, still in that city, which looks like a medieval city, feeling happy and going for some tasks (which I don’t remember at all). Then I look around and enjoy the place, the walls of the houses around are made from a dark stone with a hint of green. It feels like an Italian city during Middle Ages. It also reminds me of a number of other dreams I had. One more recent one was in a modern Italian city. The Colosseum should be somewhere to my right, I am thinking and desire to go to that place. At the same time, I try to engage a few DCs to help me on my quest. I look ahead and see DCs passing by, I try to stop them, but they are moving really fast, strong momentum, so I cannot stop them. (The second time this has happened). I look at a DC in front of me and notice how beautiful, elaborate and medieval/renaissance-like her clothes are. I get closer to a DC woman that is not moving, she is some kind of monk, and ask her for help/directions, but she is not helpful at all (interact with DC).

I continue and find another male DC, a peasant, he looks a bit blurry. I know that this dream has been going on for really long, so to avoid it ending I come up with the idea to stabilize the dream by kissing him. He is not really ugly, I find him rather unpleasant, but still, I kiss him. I realize that I am doing something objectionable to me, yet I keep doing it. The dream feels much more stable (stabilize dream), but then someone tells me that as a result of my behaviour, I have now two children and that man is my husband. This place is my home now. It all suddenly feels so realistic to me that I lose my lucidity. I begin to fret about those responsibilities and that I won’t be able to leave the place now. At the same time, I know that this city is special and that there are wormholes appearing every now and then, so I can use one of them to escape. I look at a live city map, which shows the location of the currently active wormhole.

I continue sleeping and have another dream that I cannot recall. I wake up and feel frustrated because I have no memory of the last few dreams. Then fragments start to emerge.

Comment: Although I managed to recover some of the memory of that lucid, it is upsetting that once again I am unable to remember a part of the experience. And yet, it is much better than not remembering anything at all.

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were vivid, dr2 was very long, reviewed in mind to commit to memory.

Fragment1: I had adopted the same avatar as checker and am wondering what people will think if we post one after the other

Fragment2: My mom insists on buying expensive gifts for one of her friends. I don't think she should.

WBTB: had a natural wake, decided to use as WBTB, was out of bed 6 mins, it was perfect, but when I came back, some kind of....nervousness took over, and I had trouble falling asleep for a long time. I really need to do something about my WBTB behavior.

Dream3: Me and bf are in an old but beautiful hotel. The room is very large, and later it turns to a huge apartment. I look outside, see some people arguing, decide I don't want to get involved, close the windows. It is late so I want to take a shower. I go to the bathroom but it is made all wrong and I start flooding the place. I turn the water off and go to look for the other bathroom, near the entrance, it is elaborately decorated . I also have a camera with me, to take a pic, but the camera is all wet, I try to dry it. I go to the other bathroom, but then the door to the apartment opens. We are sharing the place with other people, and they are coming in. I am naked, so run back towards our section and quickly close and lock the door behind me. We go to sleep.

Dream4 mini-LD: On the next day, my bf is leading me through some unknown streets in that city. We reach our destination. I notice some interesting things to eat, but we pass them by and enter a building. We go into a room, where a number of women are around the table and one of them is selling shirts. I don't want to buy any and just want to go out, and we get into a conflict with the woman. The women have totems on the wall, they begin praying and making strange movements with their hands as if casting spells. I close my eyes and inspect my energy field to check if everything is alright, also push a bit of energy forward to cancel out their influence.

I try to leave the room but it gets larger and there are more and more people inside they want to talk to me. I finally manage to go outside and enter the store where they sell the food, the man working there greets me in a foreign language. Those chocolate things are expensive, but look really nice. I end up ordering some ice coffee with something edible inside. The meeting of the people in the room is over, and everybody is now outside. They all pass by me, like a river of people, and I get a lucid-like feeling. They insist that I join them in an overcrowded car. I am in the car, annoyed with them and want to leave the car, but it is moving at a very high speed, so I decide to wait. I then notice that a bus nearby is driving really recklessly, destroying everything on its way. I figure this can only be a dream and become lucid. I think about how long this dream has been going, really very long, and I would really like to have some more fun. Then the dream fades and I am back in my real bed, eyes closed, lying on the right side. I am very awake and worried that I will forget the dream, so I remain absolutely still, reviewing with closed eyes, risky but didn't fall asleep or DEILD.

Comments: I am now a bit upset that I didn't become lucid earlier on. May have had a better chance to do some tasks. Yet, my dream self was happy!