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In my dream I was reading my literature book which is in fact the childhood memories of the author. When I read in dreams I just get into the book and become the narrator. I was young - maybe 10 or 11 years old. I was with my cousin and we were both holding babies which were our smaller brother and sister [don't remember the sex]. My cousin wanted to go upstairs... Upstairs meant to climb up a never ending wooden stairs which were old and used. It was very risky specially with the babies. But we were young so we went anyway. As I was the reader I somehow apprehend what was going to happen: So after much time we arrived at the top. It was really high and there wasn't much space for us four. Then I don't know how but I wasn't the narrator anymore but I was still trapped in the book, story. I was downstairs and I could see the author and his cousin high up... And the baby brother fell. It crushed his head on the floor and I couldn't do anything because I wasn't there materially. There was blood. Then I came back into the narrator's body. So I went downstairs hoping that the baby was still alive. But he was dead. Then my mum came and she scolded me. But I felt nothing. Even when everyone began to mourn and cry. Because I knew it wasn't me, it was the story. It was the narrator, not me. I was only reading...
My cousin N. is a boy of 14 years old and I'm 2 years older than him. We're very closed to each other although he's not in the same country as I. We meet mostly every year. He knows everything about me and vice versa. I never keep secrets from him. He's just like a brother to me. I like him a lot. In my family incest marriage is normal and many of my aunts, cousins married their own kin. I'm the only one not in agreement with that because I had been in love with one of my cousins too and this ended up tragically and now I've lost him forever - I've made my very first enemy in the family. As I'm still growing - mentally and physically - I know that sometimes when I saw N. when he came in the country recently, I felt something deep and warm inside but I didn't want to admit things... so I just called it puberty. Then as I became interested in Arthurian legends I began to associate every character as someone in real life: i.e that's why I'm called Morgan in the forum So I'm Morgan Le Fay and N. is Arthur my half-brother... So here's my dream: I was in a hospital. Someone came in to give me a baby. It was mine as I had just given birth to a son. But I feel frustrated and enraged. I kept telling myself: how did I come to this? and why?? Then the father came in: N.! I was shocked and irritated. I remembered screaming somewhat at him... because he was calm and even happy to see his son! But what we did was wrong! I could not understand his attitude. I was being very bad tempered... Then I don't really remember the rest but I know that I took my baby and we went out so as to find what to do about our parents etc... and where should we keep the baby. We were in the bus... What seemed really genuine was the thing in my arms... the baby... I could really feel it, it was clear that I was holding the baby throughout the whole dream... the rest was just blurred. There was a moment where I got a sort of flash. N. and I were in my house and he told me that to celebrate our son's first day on this Earth we should enjoy ourselves a bit in bed... But I refused because I didn't want to get pregnant and thought: What the hell?? In the end it came out of the subject because the bus stopped at a sort of garage where my tutoring teacher and other school friends were there, learn a dance... :S