memorable

Behold! Procrastination

Lucid #1 - Some time in 2015/2016
I was in fourth grade. At the time I was friends with a girl named K, she could be mean sometimes and I must've been mad at her when I had this dream. All I remember is we were at the neighborhood hill and I knew I was dreaming. She was running away from me, so I lifted my hand in the air, summoned up a giant cage, and trapped her in it. It's probably the most effortless and powerful dream control I've ever had.


Lucid #2 - April 17th, 2021
What a coincidence that this took place almost exactly two years ago today! In this dream I was at a cabin-like place, and entered a room with nothing in it but a piano and a chair. A girl in overalls that looked like the normal version of Samara from The Ring was playing the piano. I was creeped out by everything.

I was about to leave, but for some reason said, "You know, this is very much like an unpleasant dream. Not a nightmare, but..."

The girl said something huffily and continued playing. I sat down on the chair and said, "I dunno... it just has such a dream vibe to it!" And at this moment I thought that it could not possibly be a dream, because everything looked and felt so solid and real, I was clear-headed and nothing was spinning... But nonetheless, I continued, "Wait a minute... is this a dream?"

The result was instantaneous. The girl suddenly turned into a doll. I thought, Oh my goodness, I'm lucid dreaming, try to control something! But it was weird. I had a sense of my real life body and was barely hanging on to the dream. Instead of controlling anything, I accidentally opened my eyes in real life.


Lucid #3 - January 22nd, 2023
This dream started out normal, the main character was some dude in a wrecked but prosperous city. There were a bunch of AoT-like people who used wires to get around. He was one of them but apparently could just fly on his own as well, which he did after talking to some of his coworkers.

He must have become me at some point, because I recall flying in this flappy-bird way and remembering it was something that happened a lot in my dreams. That's when I became lucid.

I descended to the ground and entered a big throng of people heading somewhere. I was next to J and L, telling them and anyone who would listen that this was actually a dream, taking care not to get too excited and wake up. I tried to control something, but it was extremely difficult: tried and failed to telekinetically lift up a signpost, tried and failed to turn some dude's hair blond. Finally I focused on my hands and tried really hard to make a grape. It worked, but J and L were still skeptical so I made an apple. It was kinda small but still. That's all I remember so I guess I woke up after that.


Lucids #4 and #5 - March 25th, 2023
I actually had these the very night I got back into lucid dreaming. Spent the entire day researching it obsessively, and it paid off!

I was in school, but missed 6th period because I was playing a VR game with my dog. There was an emotion-measuring device he used on me and it kept saying I was almost dead. I could physically feel my heart beating and I was laughing a lot.

In the VR my brother N fell into a toxic lake and I was like, "Dw, this is a dream, I can save him." Then I flew over the lake and telekinetically lifted him out, though it was kind of difficult.

Next thing I remember, I was in school, more lucid than before. I kept touching the ground and walls (they felt dirty) to stabilize the dream. I even went up to this girl and touched her face and talked to her, but not for long because I was worried I would talk in real life as well. She was weirded out anyway.

Then I found my friend A and asked what period it was and she said 7th. I was waiting for an opportunity to tell her it was a dream, but I was sleeping very lightly and when I moved my arm in real life, it woke me up.

But then I tried the hypnagogia-WILD technique for the first time. The visual part wasn't working, but in my head I could hear a teacher talking and before I knew it I was in the back of an unfamiliar classroom sitting next to J. I talked to her while touching everything to solidify the dream. She had a red hardcover book with a title written in white/yellow bubble letters. She was really impressed when I was able to read it, and it was somewhat difficult for me to do in the first place. I noticed the words changed soon afterwards. Same thing with a couple sentences I caught on the inside; I was really delighted.

She said that something was weird and I said, "You know why it's weird? Because it's a dream."

"How do you know?" she asked. I could tell she was a little disconcerted that I was proposing it was my dream and not hers, that she was imaginary.

"Because none of this makes sense! Whose classroom is this? Who is that teacher? Why is it so difficult for us to read the title of a book, and why does it keep changing? Sorry to break it to you, J, but this is a dream."

She seemed to grudgingly accept it. Then I got an itch in real life and woke up.


Lucid #6 - March 26th, 2023
Yep, I had this the very next day. I was daydreaming about a white-haired writer in his thirties with three pens on his butt, and a black-haired guy in his twenties. [Don't ask me why, I must have been half asleep.] Next thing I knew, I was the writer, playing with the other guy in the snow. I was kind of lucid, trying to solidify the dream and marveling at the snow [didn't get any substantial snow this year]. But at the same time I wasn't, because the dream kept going into third person and the writer guy would start flirting with the other guy.

Eventually a teen girl came over and told us to come inside because of some disease. I then became myself, and fully lucid. We were in my house and when I looked at the mirror, there was some dust in my hair, I guess from the disease. I tried to focus on clarity and stabilization, but when I locked the door, it looked oddly blurry and my fingers were too thick. It freaked me out a little and I got dizzy. It became difficult for me to walk.

The other two had gone down a hallway I couldn't see, and I called for them to come get me, hoping their hands would solidify the dream again. They said okay but didn't come soon enough. There was writing on the walls, but I was too disoriented to read it and woke up.




Lucid #7 - March 31st, 2023
The dream started out with some hitchhiking scenario. Later on I was at school crying and screaming because my mom was accusing me of something AO3-related and my parents were stalking me. It wasn't lucid at this point. Nobody cared and after that I lied down on the hallway floor (classes were in session but I didn't care) and some girls came over and started bullying me. Eventually I got up and was walking in the hallways with J, and she said, "I hate (something something)."

I responded gloomily, "I hate myself."

She seemed to notice something was wrong and said, "Oh no, why don't you talk to K about it?" [Different K than first dream.]

"What? Why would I talk to K?"

I don't remember what she said but I was like "she can't help me nobody can, blah blah blah" and I don't know if I already was lucid or suddenly became so, but I decided to fly away because it was a dream! J went "wow" and I flew like superman to the end of the hallway. For some reason Kel from OMORI was there. I talked to him and we climbed into this weird window/dumbbell thing.

I saw Mr. C walking around like a hawk and was worried he would see us, eventually he did but I realized I could control his reaction because this was a dream. So he wasn't angry, and even climbed in with us. While we were in there I was in pain for some reason but since it was a dream I just made it go away.

(Not sure when this happened, but at one point I was in a classroom and did the finger-palm reality check. It was difficult and didn't go all the way through, but it still confirmed I was dreaming. I then did the nose-plug RC and it felt like breathing through a stuffy nose. The dream started to fade and there was a dark vignette around my vision. I was trying really hard to stay in it, talking to J, touching stuff, and telling myself I'd still be dreaming when I "woke up." I don't remember what happened, but back to the main story.)

Eventually I got bored of Kel and Mr. C and went to some building, reflecting on my choices up till now. I climbed some brown petticoats to the top, a loft-church hybrid area. I think it was here that I looked around and was truly amazed at how real and solid everything looked. I did the finger-palm RC again, same result. Then I did the nose-plug reality check, same result. Finally I tried to phase through a window, but it didn't work.

I pressed my hands to it and really tried to expect to go through, but it still wasn't working, so I said aloud, "Please help me, dream." The windowpane started getting warm and ripple-y but I still didn't go through.

Now I was surprised that I still hadn't woken up yet, so I left to find a mirror. (It was the only one of my goals to occur to me.) The dream went into third person and it looked sort of like an RPG videogame as I walked up to a mirror (still in a church-like area; I was walking down a red carpet). I ignored the old lady beside it because I felt like I should hurry just in case I was close to waking up. Then it switched to first person again and I looked in the mirror.

When I researched LDs I had been avoiding posts that said mirrors were taboo/scary because I didn't want my subconscious to internalize that, but when I was watching a YouTube vid some guy said that in a lucid dream mirror, you'd see the version of you that you want to become. So I guess if anything, I was expecting that. But when I looked, the reflection just showed my normal self... or so I thought in the dream. I realize now that it was not normal at all.

My hair was long, and I was wearing a stiff, purple, cape-like cardigan. My hands were on my hips and my chest was puffed out. I looked more like an anime-superhero than anything else. I even had a line-smile like this: V.

Anyway, as I was looking, my reflection suddenly split in two (as in there were two of me in the mirror). In the middle of them appeared another me, but a more disturbing one, though I don't remember how exactly. The disturbing me's multiplied until they were filling the mirror and maybe spilling out; I could only really see the tops of their heads. A bright white light drenched them and flew by like a train, and an unsettling sound accompanied it. I had to turn away and I think I woke up soon after, because I don't remember anything after that.




Anddd done. Don't have time to color-code right now so I'll do it tomorrow

Edit: Color yay

A LOT happened last night. I went to sleep at my normal time, 11:30. This time my goal was to do an RC in my dream. Did MILD (poorly) till I drifted off.

Dream #1 (Non-Lucid):
First thing I can remember is me walking up the sidewalk in my neighborhood, thinking about how calling someone could potentially result in a bomb being dropped nearby. (Before this point multiple bombs had already been dropped but I can't remember any specifics, might've even been a false memory.) I came to a stop at a place where I could look down at the grassy area between two rows of houses, and a line of trees/bushes 25 feet in. I called J for some reason, with a feeling (though not a hope) that a bomb would drop on the pool about a mile away... and it did.

The explosion was vivid, albeit unrealistic. I saw the mushroom cloud billow up and felt the vibrations in the air and under my feet, and the wind was especially tangible. I ducked between two cars as it blew against me, still holding my phone, with a tinge of uneasiness. I thought, "These bombs are interesting once in a while, but only once in a while... Then again, if I selfishly enjoy even them even once, perhaps I should accept them happening all the time with no complaints... but no, why should it be that way? I'll want what I want, when I want!" It was quite a realistic thought process.

(A note: I'm pretty sure this same explosion actually happened earlier in a slightly different way, with me behind rather than between the cars, but my subconscious rewinded and edited it. That happens fairly often in my dreams.)

The wind kept coming, and suddenly it really picked up, stronger than all the previous bombs. I held onto the car handles to support myself and move forward while listening to the cars on the highway smash into each other, to the sound of screeching metal. I was only thinking vaguely about how weirdly easy it was for me and the cars near me to stay still in comparison.

Then for some reason all the highway cars appeared in the line of trees in front of me, except one totally wrecked and empty one which was much closer to me on the grass. Tons of people spilled out and were fleeing into the woods, and that's when J and her twin sister L appeared. I told them enthusiastically what happened ("The wind was so strong it pushed the cars and I could hear the collisions!"), not mentioning that I was the cause of it. L almost interrupted me once but I spoke over her.

J was like "wow" and I'm a little confused about this part, but apparently only parents were able to flee by going through the line of cars into the woods... kids weren't allowed? We hopped through the empty car anyway but nothing happened.

Anyway, L was apparently a graphic artist in this dream and had to go somewhere to draw. J and I went with, to a random and dark parking lot, and I brought along my own drawing tablet. I had to remember how to use it and did so by accessing real-life memories of it in my room and of plugging it into a computer. Not sure what happened during this time but L eventually turned into S and we were making a story together, drawing the two main characters. She drew a teen girl in a somewhat grainy and realistic art style that vaguely resembled Tinkerbell. I was probably drawing the other character, a man in his twenties. In the story, they were both prisoners helping each other escape. I remember specifically that the girl escaped first and was going to break his restraints so they could leave together, although they didn't know each other well and he was kind of a gruff and unfriendly guy.

S held up their drawing and said that they liked the sketch, so they weren't going to pay anyone for a better version. (I'll just include this here: I think some time in this dream I was at S's house and their dad was speaking condescendingly to me, but I have no idea when this occurred.)

Then some stuff happened that I don't remember, all I know is that I was acting like a baby (pouting and whining), so J treated me like one (but not meanly). We went to a gas station, I think to buy some build-it-yourself Japanese-speaking machine, though I don't remember what for. In addition I bought some Cow Tales, permanently-locked measuring tape, and small, blue-wrapped candies, wanting to spend the little money I had for whatever reason. (This definitely also happened before in a slightly different way and was rewinded by my subconscious. I think the first time I got functional measuring tape.) I remember walking to the cash register, but I don't remember paying.

Next scene I can recall is being in a large room with a wooden floor, sitting on a bench/bed with my dad. I think there were a few other people in the background as well, and the permanently-locked measuring tape was on the bench-bed. It had a green sticker warning people not to unlock it, with an X'd out image of the down-arrow safety lock and the number 4. I figured that meant you had to move the safety lock downward four times to unlock it. I went "Hmm" and decided to try it. I asked my dad what would happen while I did so, not believing it could be too bad or dangerous—after all, it was a company, they couldn't sell stuff like that!

It snapped open before he answered, and small circular serrated blades (like shuriken) burst out in all directions. I jumped off the bench and subconsciously prevented myself from being stabbed right away because it would mess up the plot. For the same reason, my dad did not get injured, even though he was right next to it. I was supposed to be the sole target, he was supposed to watch. I was somewhat aware of this choice... even thinking something like "(dream) logic" in the back of my mind. (And AGAIN, something similar happened earlier in the dream but I subconsciously erased it—maybe it was too difficult and I got hit by the blades.)

Belatedly answering my question, my dad calmly said, "A bunch of blades would pop out." Well gee, thanks, Father. I can see that.

I slumped on the floor to dodge the blades, but they kept spinning around in somewhat predictable patterns. I was stuck in the corner of the room dodging them, not able to move properly due to fear. It was scary and quite vivid; so was my hyperventilating (which was intentional but also not) when I finally managed to get away. My dad said unsympathetically, "That's how bugs feel every day." I briefly imagined it; the atoms and minuscule organisms in the air dodging my legs as I ran. Then I woke up.

———

It was 3:40 or so when I woke up and at first I did not remember anything except the very last scene of the dream, and even that was fading. But somehow I managed to focus and backtrack all the way back to where I started the entry. I didn't finish writing till 4:34, then I lay down and attempted WILD, repeating "reality check, reality check" in my head. It didn't take as long as a couple days ago but it did take a while before I finally fell back asleep.

———

Dream #2 (Non-Lucid):
This dream may not have been lucid but it sure was interesting. I started out sitting up in my bed, looking down at a giant yellow slug-caterpillar thing on the mattress. I whimpered and flipped it over, trying to push it off, but I didn't push hard enough. Then I thought, "Wait, this is probably just a hypnopompic hallucination!" and stared at it till it went away.

But now I was curious, and tried to take advantage of my supposedly sleepy state. I stared at my sheets and tried to visualize chicken nuggets. At first they showed up as those blob-lights you sometimes see when you close your eyes, but I focused on one until it cleared up and was a real chicken nugget.

Tentatively, I picked it up, fascinated that I could really feel it. (I was briefly reminded of Koomer and Oguigi from my tulpa phases.) Slowly I lifted it to my mouth and bit down, and it tasted so real! A bit on the watery side but whatever. I thought, "I have to tell J about this" and was imagining it, then I think I woke up briefly before entering another dream.

Dream #3 (Lucid):
This time I was in the bathroom washing my hands, but the faucet was weird. When I turned the hot water on, the water would stop running altogether, and I could bend the knob all the way backwards. It freaked me out a little to be honest and the possibility of dreaming popped into my head.

I thought "No way" but did a nose-plug RC anyway, and there it was—that explosion of air like in my semi-lucid a few days ago! I couldn't believe it and stumbled backward in shock. My reflection disappeared and the mint-green walls seemed strangely oppressive and unsettling. I tried to get a hold of myself, crouching down and rubbing my hands together, but it was too late. I woke up.

...Except I didn't, because it was a false awakening! My first one EVER! I don't know why—I always forget to RC in the morning—but as I was listening to the sound of my dad opening the shower door in the bathroom, something must have tipped me off because I plugged my nose and breathed. And I could breathe! Normally! It didn't feel stuffy or explosive! I was so amazed I did it twice, then sat up, grinning and feeling my sheets on my skin. It actually felt a little oversensitive, like when you're sick and your nerves are fried.

I climbed down from my bed (it's a bunk bed) and saw my youngest brother sleeping on the floor, though I didn't think much of it. I remembered my steps but only briefly checked for false memories, skipped RC because I already did it, then whisper-asked for my dream guide to come through the door. (Whispering because it was dark and quiet in the room.) Nothing happened so I asked again, thinking that my expectations were not high enough.

While I waited, I turned my attention to the Miku poster on the door. There was no coat rack like in real life and it was taking up the entirety of the door, maybe the doorframe too. The art looked different, better than in real life, and I leaned closer, saying aloud, "Miku is really beautiful, huh." [I know I'm a trashy weeb okay? ]

But then I remembered a DJ post (by Nerefa) that I read yesterday, about dream faces not being as realistic as they seemed, only as much as your waking-life awareness. I wondered if she would actually look ugly upon closer inspection, and when I peered into her face it turned derpy. I assumed it was just because I was expecting it rather than my real-life awareness being that bad, and I must have sensed myself waking up because I was thinking, "Maybe if I had stayed focused on the dream guide this wouldn't have happened..." And then I woke up, for real this time, at 5:55.

Dream #4 (Lucid; Fragment):
Okay so this happened before I woke up, but I don't know where it fits in relation to everything else. I was mentally explaining to someone (possibly myself, or imagining telling someone in the future) that my DJ was occasionally censored when a topic like suicide or self-harm came up because I didn't want people snooping and seeing that. I said that I sometimes couldn't remember these scenes properly even when I read them again, because I was so vague in my DJ.

Eventually I was in my bed looking at a (false) entry with a self-harm scene, but my dream journal was all cut up. The part mentioning SH was cut in a way that the word "WHAT?" was spelled out. So someone had seen this entry, understood it despite my censorship and vagueness, and was concerned.

I had been exposed and obviously felt dread and shock, but at the same time remembered that I have a lot of dreams of being exposed by people in real life. Maybe it was because I desperately wanted to deny the situation, but I was sure that it was a dream. I said aloud, "No, this isn't real. It's a dream, it must be."

Then I think I performed a successful nose-plug RC, and that's all I remember.

———

Well, that took a while. But now my lucid count is up to 10! Here are some quick sketches of the dream scenes:

Okay sooo yesterday I saw that April 12th was National Lucid Dreaming day and wanted to do something special. But I don't know anyone here well enough to attend a party with them in a dream (like I saw people doing on the forum post), so I tried to wrap my friend J into it. I told her to meet up with me in a dream at either her house or the elementary school nearby. I don't thin I really believe in shared dreaming but I was curious what would happen.

I went to sleep at 11:30, using MILD to imagine the scenario. Woke up at 3:50, had a very vague idea of a dream but didn't write anything down. Instead I closed my eyes, kinda trying to do WILD, repeating over and over in my head, "J's house, J's house..." and fell back asleep within minutes.

Dream #1 (Regular):
Next thing I knew I was sitting up in my bed and the lights were on. I was watching a 3DMV Project Sekai song featuring Mafuyu and Mizuki, focusing more on their voices than the models. Their singing was quite vivid, at first I mixed up their voices but soon was able to identify them. Mafuyu's was less soft than usual and vibrating quite a bit, while Mizuki's was deeper than usual. I thought they didn't sound as good as they normally do but oh well.

My mom came into the room and startled me (my door was on the left instead of the right for some reason). She was wearing a pink wig and a Lolita dress though I didn't notice this in the dream. She was concerned and a bit annoyed by my scared reaction but eventually must have left because next thing I knew I was trying to do WILD to meet up with J in a dream, only for her to come in again and interrupt me! She started talking to me about something unimportant and I was like, "Can we talk about this later, I'm trying to meet up with J in a dream right now." She didn't really get it but eventually left me alone.

I tried again, and this time some very intense auditory hypnagogic hallucinations kicked in right away. [It's worth noting that auditory HI is the main type I get, I even entered a lucid dream from it one time.] I could vividly hear in my head the hustle and bustle of a mall, a food court it seemed like, and voices talking behind me, that of a small child standing out. I even felt sleep paralysis setting in which excited me because I knew that meant I was close to sleep. (I also felt my face sink into my arm which bothered me, but I wasn't going to risk moving.) I hoped I would find myself in a mall when I drifted off, and then I'd go to J's house to meet up with her.

Well, wouldn't you know it, when I opened my eyes, I was in a mall! Not a food court—I was lying down on some pool chair in front of an internal balcony—but still! Was I lucid though? No! Somehow I thought I had been attempting WILD in the mall and had stopped because a blond lady interrupted me before I fell asleep. She somewhat resembled my IB ESS teacher Mrs. B and was next to my chair, fiddling with something on a stand next to me.

"My gosh!" I exclaimed in an exasperated yet excited tone. "I was so close just now, I had super loud hypnagogic hallucinations, I even got sleep paralysis for the first time- well, I noticed it for the first time."

The blond lady had an abnormally large, gap-toothed smile and said something about never having experienced sleep paralysis either. There was an ant crawling out the side of her mouth onto her cheek and I stared at it but didn't say anything. She lifted her hand to her face and I don't know if she picked it up or if it just fell onto her hand, but it ended up in her palm somehow and transformed into an amalgam of a bee and a cockroach. I am terrified of bees in real life and it was only now that I got a little freaked out, pointing at it as if she weren't aware of it. She tossed it in my general direction and I immediately woke up.

———

When I opened my eyes I had the sense that the beeroach was somewhere on my sheets and had a hypnopompic hallucination for the first time in years. I used to have them occasionally when I was younger and had a nightmare... for some reason they only seemed to happen when I had a bug nightmare. I don't consider this a nightmare but I saw a giant, brown, wispy ant crawling on the sheets in front of me nonetheless. I was a tiny bit afraid but knew it wasn't real. I closed my eyes until I knew it would be gone, then wrote down my dream.

Funny thing is it was around 4:15 when I woke up, so I was only sleeping for about 20 minutes. When I finished writing down my dream it was 4:40 and I tried to sleep again even though I felt pretty alert... it took me an hour before I did. I know because I heard my mom getting ready for work downstairs, which she starts doing at 5:30-ish. During that time I was attempting SSILD but forgot what you're supposed to do after going through the cycles [turns out it's just "try to fall asleep"...], so as a last ditch-effort I tried WILD again, repeating "J's house, J's house" in my head and imagining us meeting up. Before I knew it, I was in a dream!

———

Dream #2 (Regular):
I was in fact in J's house, though I wasn't lucid. Visually it was a mix of my house, J's house, another friend's house, and some random house, but functionally it was just J's house.

I entered a dark room and found J's twin sister L lying down on a mattress, a TV in front of her. She had "HELP ME" scrawled in blue ink all over her left arm and I (falsely) remembered J telling me that she'd done it because she was stressed out about the upcoming exams. On the TV was a video made by some History YouTuber. He was answering whether he was a pessimist or an optimist and said something along the lines of, "Well objectively from my content I may seem like a pessimist, but the answer's a bit more complicated if you take a deeper look into my complex psyche!"

I sat on the mattress behind her and watched as the camera flipped up to the ceiling and a woman sobbing could be heard, as well as a screaming child in the background. I was very confused why he would upload his personal life on YouTube, wondering if he was abusive, or if she was abusive, or if she was being dramatic and scaring the kid, or if it was all some twist that he would clear up at the end. I never found out though because I left the room. I started to close the door but L didn't want me to, and besides the mattress was in the way.

I was now walking through the living room and picked up a gray frog stuffed animal, which I think was S's (another friend), then threw it back on the floor. In the dream it was around 5:30 and I assumed my mom must have left for work because she wasn't there (I don't know why she would be at J's house anyway but whatever), and wondered where J&L's mom was. At this point I "remembered" a part of some dream and wanted to write it down, but my dream journal was upstairs so I decided to do it later. I also knew J was upstairs and thought about waking her up but knew she'd be mad.

So instead I enjoyed being the only one up in an empty and quiet house in the early hours of the morning. I skipped into the kitchen area... and suddenly found it impossible to keep moving. I fell forward and immediately woke up.

———

Here are some quick sketches of the dream scenes:


It was 6:03 when I woke up so again, I couldn't have been asleep for very long. These dreams were more vivid than usual, maybe because they were so short, or because I was trying so hard to meet up with J. If you're wondering, J did not recall any dreams in the morning so I guess we can say the reason I never got to see her is because she didn't keep up her end of the deal

P.S. I know I said a couple days ago that I wouldn't include my semi-lucid dream in my LD count, but I change my mind. The lucidity level was very low, even my awareness level was lower than in these dreams, but it was a lucid dream nonetheless so I will go back on my word and add it (I love that emoji.)