Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I encounter Nighthawk, he looks a bit bizarre, dressed all white with a small red tie and red pullover over the shoulders. We talk, he invites me out. It's early morning, so we go out for breakfast. We find this posh place where I expect to be served a lush meal, but there's something strange about the place. It's a large ballroom, the stage is set, music is playing. We are taken to a table and they say there's little beer left. I say "who drinks beer for breakfast?" but these people were probably there all night. A show starts. I see dancers coming on stage dressed with uniforms that seem familiar. The waitress brings me a frapuccino. I try to remember "Did I ask this? I don't recall having made an order.". I call her back, I want to know if it has cow milk, 'cause then I'm not drinking it. Meanwhile the dancers dance and I realize, their uniforms are from the SS. WTF? More dancers come on stage, with nazi german uniforms and flags. The public shouts "Hitler, Hitler!" and I say "oh my god, what the fuck is this?". Someone says, "It's a nazy themed party, but it is purely satirical". "Satirical, my ass! Anybody entering through that door right now, would say this is celebratory". I want to get of there as soon as possible. But then I recall, no, I didn't ask for the frapuccino, this is just a fucked up dream.
I get lucid and fly away from there. I cross over town and just enjoy the beauty of the details of the place.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) With ZIlla, at some conference. There are stands from different countries. Don't know the topic of the event, but I see mainly Asians. There's some stir, when tibetans put their table really close to the chinese. A fight starts and some japanese dressed like samurais step in. Zilla gets caught in the middle of it. A medallion comes into my hand. My attention goes entirely to it. I focus on its surface, design, details, I get lucid. I am sucked into the medallion. I see and become its molecules. As I dive towards the quantic level, I exit on a clear blue sky where I float around in bliss.
Slowly, I descend on the ground. As I walk through a cobbler stone street, everything around seems perfect: the sky is a pallete of beautiful colours, beautiful birds dance in the sky, showers of petals... I feel like a goddess. The overwhelming feeling is of love and romance. I look around and wonder what I should do about it. The silly idea that comes to my mind is to create a cliché romantic scenario that I'll never experience in life. I imagine a beautiful dress to wear and a white gown appears over my skin. I imagine a gorgeous palace I'm walking into, to meet my prince charming. So far, so good and the birds keep dancing around. But when I enter the palace, inside it looks oddly small, actually, it's nothing more than a trailer. And my prince? Well, he is handsome, but rude, drunk and is all bruised. He asks what the fuck I'm looking at. He says such-and-such kicked him. I feel he probably deserved. So disappointing.
I end up meeting his bully and flirting with him. Silly fantasy gone bad.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I share the house with my whole family. Parents, grandparents, I even have to share my room with my best friend. Life is ok, just a bit crowded and back to the basics.
One day, my friend and I meet a handsome stranger, who coincidentally looks just like Matt Damon. He seems a bit lost and he needs a place to crash, so we offer him to stay in our room for the night. He is so cute, I realize both my friend and I are doing shifts in trying to seduce him, but he is just not that interested.
The next day he takes us to his hood. It's in a part of town where people are even poorer than us. He shows us a community centre, where people help each other out and meals are cooked and served to the masses. A lady is stirring corn porridge in a giant cooker and people line up to get some. But still, they seem happy, some are dancing after eating, there's nice music, a festive environment. That's when a strange looking group appears. They almost seem like buddhist monks and lamas, with long red and orange vests, trumpet sounds and banners in the wind. Everybody bows down and folds their hands when their "spiritual leader" comes up in front. I am still stunned by the whole thing and I feel genuine devotion, but the guy doesn't seem too friendly. He gives orders for a random selection of the people and I'm caught in the group. We are guided through this festive troupe of musicians and dancers to a sort ot transportation tunnel system and as I walk into it, I feel honoured for having been chosen. But the transport drops us directly into what looks like the posh downtown area, with buildings, terraces, roads, squares, but no people walking around. I find strange, until a white car comes in racing and hitting as many of us as it possibly can. I realize this is a cross between hungry games and mad max. Someone must be watching and having fun as we are killed. But I don't go down that easily. I run, I jump, I do whatever is necessary to escape and at some point I manage to create a trap for the car and he hits and gets stuck at some concrete structure I lured it into.
The driver gets out of the car, pissed, but he just leaves. In his place appear two large guys who plan to beat me up, the old fashioned way. I avoid all their hits and I hit back. But they are both bigger and stronger than me. My hist don't seem to hurt them much. The bigger one is laughing at me, and asks me what martial art am I practicing. I reply that I'm not following any, I'm just using my intuition. He says my intuition will not help me for so long.
That's when we hear a loud noise and we look up. What seem to be two police helicopters, with no helices and joined together by some sort of bridge, draws a circle in the air, passes over our heads and flies in the direction of a huge building in the horizon, which I see now for the first time. It is a big block of concrete and glass windows, with a semi-circular and horizontal highpass on the top pf the building. I know that is the headquarters of the central power. And the helis are going straight into it. But I think "if history taught us a lesson is that a plane crashing into a building will not make it collapse". But the helis were clearly modified and probably contained a lot of explosive stuff, because soon after they crashed into the building, there were a series of explosions that made the building collapse. As the debris are flying in all directions, the few people around start running away in fear.
We run and run, until we leave this dowtown area behind, and cross the hoods, and more people joining the run, and crossing barriers that used to divide the zones. Until some of us reach the most outer area, a place with a really bad vibe, empty concrete buildings with no glass on the windows. I hide in a building for a while, to avoid breathing all the dust that is outside and to have some rest from all the events. but I feel a presence. There's someone patrolling the building and it seems to be very dangerous. I go from room to room trying to keep ahead of it, but I encounter signs of something horrific. Heads and other body parts scattered around. A bloody smell. And then I am at the door of a room where lots of people sleep on the floor, but they don't look quite human. They are indeed a cannibal zombie like pack. I got to be careful not to wake them up. That's when an army of clone androids bursts in and starts shooting all over the place. I use the opportunity to run.
I keep running, I meet again some other people who are also running. We're looking for the outer rim. We're hoping it might be collapsed or defenseless, so we can go out and see what's outside this world. We encounter this giant wall. It seems to have a top, but as we climb, it just continues to go and go and never end. But some clever guy notices something about a technical compartment halfway in the wall. He manages to open it and manipulate it to crash the intelligent system that continuously creates the wall. And it starts opening gaps and we see people down on the ground level being able to pass it through. So we go over it as well.
The other side is countryside and there are still a few remote villages where people live simply and we join them.
I go back for my family and after we settle in this brave new world, in a new house in the country, I watch my mom knitting and making crochet, more peaceful than ever.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am at some beach club or something of the kind. Lots of young boys and girls, having fun, playing games. Girls are lured into a strange competition which involves following leads and collecting objects to achieve some final goal which will be revealed once the puzzle is complete.
At first I just watch, but I find it both fishy (it seems just a pretense to lure the girls into increasingly dark and remote places, maybe so they can disappear) and challenging (I absolutely want to play it and I am certain I can win it). So I sign up, with mixed feelings: will do my best to win, but will also keep my eyes open as I go along.
First challenge involves going down some kind of well, with a sort of diver's suit to get some clue from the bottom of it. There's a mix of physical challenges like that, but then we also have to solve the puzzles and enigmas that come with the clues, so we can find which is the next challenge. I follow a number of these and they often involve going down or crawling inside dirty, dark places. But I start passing in front of the other girls who were ahead of me. And I start getting a better picture of it all. It's hard to explain, but with each task we're getting closer and closer to become pawns of a sick game, to reduce us to unaware servants of some entity we haven't even met. I was right about my initial feeling. So, once I'm winning the game, I start subverting it, blocking all other players to follow me and move forward. This displeases the powers that be, behind the whole thing. The last object I collected are some kind of bean shaped marbles, in a black iridescent colour, that seem to be alive. I accidentaly let some of them fall to the ground and they immediately divide and multiply. I don't know what I am supposed to do with it. But I then find myself into some kind of giant maze with high walls that keep getting bigger. I feel an uncomfortable sense of being trapped.At the top of one of these walls, a figure appears and it is devilish. It spreads out in a kind of red, living, palpitating matter, which covers the wall and the floor and comes in my direction. I don't know what to do, but I throw the marbles in front of me and they start multiplying and spreading in the opposite direction, engulfing this devilish form which wanted to devour me, but also threatening to engulf me to. I run to the end of the maze, trying to escape this darkness that is devouring everything. I encounter a room, with only a box in it. It's not a big box, it's just enough to put my two feet together inside it. There's no other place where I can hide or a door or window, through where to escape. But I hear like a voice telling me to go into the box. It's impossible, I think. But the voice is there saying I need to go, it's the only place I can hide. And I believe that I should try. I put my two feet in it, the box is already full, but then I squat and I fit perfectly in it. No more space left, but then I also push my shoulders and head inside it and incredibly, the box is still small, the size it had in the beggining and I am still my normal size, but I'm inside it, perfectly covered and protected. I remember Milarepa, who sat inside a conch. It is it.

Had the best of dreams. A dream came true and I knew happiness.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I had watched some youtube video about all the satanic symbolism in music videos and performances of so many artists nowadays. There's always been people saying that rock is evil and shits like that, but the connections they made were really far-fetched. But you look at so many of the pop stars nowadays and you don't even have to work hard to find metaphors for satanic stuff, they are just so straightforward about it. I also watched some of these video clips, who are said to brainwash you with subliminal messages and I wondered if you watch them with a strong aware mind, do they still affect you? Probably something, but not as much as if you're a zombie consumer with no control of your own mind.
Anyway, all night I was haunted by demons and visited by the devil himself. Not my first time, but it is always unpleasant, to say the least.
Throughout the dreams, I keep fighting blood sucking demons, some more like vampires, some more like dragons, who chase me and my friends, coming out from every dark corner. They try to lead us down some tunnel or cave, which at first we thought it could be a safe refuge, but then as it goes deeper and darker, the more demons seem to appear. So I push everybody out and we barricade ourselves in a house. But the demons are sneaky and can shrink to fit the tiniest openings and enter the place. I am almost bit by a tiny black dragon-like demon, but I kill it.
Then they seem to all go away. Me and a couple of friends spread to different divisions of the house to check the windows and see if they are gone, but then I hear something horrible. I run to meet my girl friend and she is hanging from a dark shadow in the ceiling by her instestines. She is still alive, but clearly in shock and agony. Then my male friend also appears and screams in terror. Then the dark shadow drops our friend on the floor, instantly assumes a vampire like shape and attacks him. Bites him on the neck, then rips his scalp off and finally chews off half of his face. Now I am in shock and nauseated and I can't react.
The he assumes a human form and approaches me slowly. He seems to be enjoying whatever plans he has for me. He moves around me, at the same time terrorizing and seducing me. His hands are green with sharp claws and he explains, that he will rip my chest off and pull out my heart. I can already feel the pain but he doesn't go through with it just yet. Instead, he drags me to a room and bends me over a bed and says he'll sodomize me. I feel drowzy and strangely aroused, but I'm still thinking in the back of my mind how I will escape this.
That's when a loved one appears in the dream. I hear the voice of this person from outside the bedroom and I regain my strenghts. I must protect this person at all costs. The demon seems to have been caught by surprise to, as he loosens the grip he had over me, mental and physical. I kinda realize that I can just walk away and by denying him his power over me, he is indeed powerless. So I just walk out of the room and I escort this person away from here. And then it all ends and I just wake up.
So I guess it's true that these videos and music can lead you to dark places. It's the power of suggestion. Some would say, no magic there. I would say, it's just different wording. No matter what you call it, what matters is the effect produced. Weak, suggestionable minds will let themselves get caught by it and even if they are not aware of the grip over their subconscious, it is still there, creating fear, submission, acceptance of shadowy domination without resistance. So, beware of what you listen and watch and idolize, because it is not innocent and playful, it really shapes your mind.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I live in a poor neighbourhood. My family sells clothes in a small shop in a shady corner. Some bullies come to collect money from us, but they get more interested in myself and I have to run through back alleys to escape them. At some point I enter a back door of a building and find myself at some kind of posh shopping center. I continue running, but I have time for some observations. I see, for instance, a lady trying on some jewelry the shop keeper put over the counter and as they turn around for a second, I manage to grab a beautiful necklace, but I throw it away before exiting with it. It would be so helpful to sell it and make some money for my family, but I can't. It's not so much that I find it absolutely wrong, but I believe there's a good chance it has an alarm of some sort and I would be caught and it really wasn't worthwile. So I drop it and keep running. I exit through another door and I find myself crossing an oriental-style spa. It's so soothing, but if they see me there, I'll be caught and jailed, so I keep running. I finally exit the building and get to a non-urbanized area, by a riverbed. The sun is setting and I duck under some bushes. I stay there until it's dark and I sense that there's no one looking for me. I then walk through a dirt road and I find a well. I look at it and see the moon reflected on the water and I feel an absolute sense of peace and detachment. I touch the rough stones of the well and have a strange feeling that they are moving. Scared, I fall on the ground and covered in mud, I see a dragon arising from the well, the stones becoming his scales. Is he going to hurt me? I feel that it's up to me. It all depends if I run from him or if I tame him. So, in a corageous decision, I grab some scales on his neck and I decide to ride it. He turns his head and looks menacing, but then he talks to me and he says something magic I can't pronounce even if I wanted. But I understand he is going to take me somewhere.
He drops me at some big palace like hotel or something. I wonder how I can go inside covered in mud, but then he merges with me and his scales transform into a beautiful golden scaled mermaid strapless dress and I look like a queen. The doors open for me and I'm inside. But I keep feeling a stranger and everytime I cross paths with someone on the lobby, at the hallways, I fear that they will see through me and notice that I don't belong. But they don't.
I see everyone heading to some kind of concert room and I follow them, trying to mingle. Some old rich couple starts talking to me, I have to lie about a few things, and I wonder if I'll be asked for a ticket a the door and look stupid for not having one. They do ask for ticket and I don't have, but the way I look, they don't even doubt I haven't paid for the show, they believe I just forgot and allow me in. I can't believe it is so simple. Some guy offers me a coat and then I see why. The doors open to an open air amphitheatre over a hill and it's a chilly night. We take our seats and we get a package. If we're on an even row we must open it to the right and if we're on an odd row we must open it to the left (or vice-versa). Inside are some kind of 3D goggles and other weird gadgets. I wonder what this show is about. Then I see some kind of gigantic molecular structures with lights floating above us and I'm said the show is about to start.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I am at some kind of school. I see western kids practicing Kendo with eastern kids. I realize I am in a dojo. Besides the kendo, I watch some lady playing a really silly sport, consisting of throwing a watermellon and other similar fruits to fit into some very tight fitting baskets far away. It seems hard, but hardly elegant. Until I realize the level of precision and strength necessary to actually fit the watermellon on the basket without bouncing or breaking or anything else. Fitting it with perfection is something that can only happen by chance 1 in a millionth, but she makes it at the first try and I realize the level of skill necessary to achieve it. She is in a perfect zen state. When I realize that, tears start falling from my eyes.
I cross the room to a big balcony and I see a breathtaking view over a hill, a big river below and a mountain right in front on the other margin, with a complex of shinto temples on top.
The beauty of it is beyond words. It's surreal. It's Japan but I can't really say when. It looks both in the past and in the future, but in relation to what?
I am taken by boat up river. As I slide through the waters and approach the mountains, I start recognizing places and emotions take over me. I have been here before or will be here later (it's hard to tell). I pass through a Tori leading to a village, I don't know its name, but it feels like home. I start crying like a baby. We pass by a shrine with homage plaques with names on it. I can't even read what's on it, but I fall on the ground, sobbing, with sorrow, with a sense of unforgiving loss, with memories of a life I don't even know if it's past or future. And I cry for an eternity.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


(...) I'm on the road with some guy. He is driving, we're talking. Then we see something orange scattered at even distances, over the line between adjacent lanes. But it's not plastic cones! It's monks in orange robes, meditating! My friend is puzzled and wondering what in the world that can be. I just become lucid with the absurdity and I realize what it is. They know it is safe, they are aware where we are, they chose to sit in the middle of a road because it tests their confidence in the knowing that nothing can harm them. I get it and could join them. But instead I just float around, enjoying the beauty of this awareness. I start touching everything, I touch some statues, the rough walls of buildings, the tree leaves, the hair of people passing by. Everything I touch is simply perfect and overloads my mind with joy.
After a while of this experience, I enter a not so bright zone. The night falls, there is an entrance to a non-lit park and a few homeless guys are sleeping on benches and on the ground, on both sides of the pathway. A couple of them looks at me like saying "hey babe, come here..." and I feel a chill and turn around in fear. Then I think what is the worse thing that can happen, considering it only happens whatever I allow to happen? If they rape me, I just wake up. So, I lose all fear and all I can feel is compassion. Instead of fearing a rape, I feel like offering myself to them as a gesture of my total surrender to the fearlessness. Automatically, I become naked as I walk through the pathway. They just can't believe what they are seeing. They actually are quite gentle to me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


(...) I and a group of people who escaped an earthquake, now have the ability to see future catastrophes before they happen. And we tend to bump into each other casually at some random places whenever something is about to happen there. So we meet again inthe middle of the city, and we share a vision of another earthquake. We try to warn people, but they look at us like we're crazy and we end up saving only ourselves by moving to an open area we saw would be safe. In future occurences, we start not telling anyone about our predictions and whenever we bump into each other somewhere, we no longer bother anymore in saying anything to each other or any others. We just take cover, each person for itself.
At some other occasion, we know a tornado is coming and we hid all at the nearest place available, a building occupied by an anarchist group I know. They have a basement and we can hide there. But when the tornado hits, it's not just wind, there's something dark and evil in it and it tries to break into the building. I feel it wants us.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) I start seeing ghosts. First they scare me, but then I become half lucid and lose my fear. Then I establish contact with them. They want my help. They seek a man, indirectly responsible for their deaths. A rich business man, with no moral, responsible for the despair of so many and cause of death of some of them. They want me to help them find him and kill him. I help them find where he lives and I wait by the entrance of his mansion with a bunch of ghosts floating around. When the man arrives home, the ghosts follow him and scare the bejesus out the guy. That's when I come in with a gun, when he is already freaked out by all those scary ghosts. They keep him all curled up on the floor, crying like a baby and ask me to kill him. That's when I'm invaded by a sudden overwhelming compassion for the guy. I can't pull the trigger. The ghosts keep telling me all the horrors he is capable of and pushing me to do it, but I can't. I start crying like a baby, I feel so much compassion for everybody, I can't honestly feel any anger for any being, I am drowning in tears for all the evil people in the world, because they are so ignorant, they don't know what they are doing.
So I tell the ghosts that I won't kill him, that he deserves to go to jail and to learn about the impacts of his actions and to have the opportunity to redeem himself, but I can't kill him. The ghosts are not happy, but they also can't kill him.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am in small town, people walking around, going to places and then a loud bang and we see an airplane blowing up in the air and parts of it falling down. One big part of it falls at the end of the street I am in and makes many buildings collapse. Me and other people start running the opposite direction and scream to people coming in our direction to turn back and run for their lives. When I'm almost being hit by debris, I see an entrance to an underground place, maybe a subterranean park and I run down the stairs. There's another lady inside and I tell her to move away from the entrance, which gets blocked with debris. There are some stairs to the right of an elevator. The power is down, so we cannot call the elevator. We try the stairs, but on the next floor they are also blocked with debris. I have an idea, I open the elevator door - it's one of those that you can open by sticking your fingers in the crack between the two and pushing them apart. The elevator is stuck half way on this floor and the top floor is just above us, so I climb through it and bring the lady with me. We open a trap door in the ceiling and find ourselves on a terrace. It's not vey high, just 1 or 2 floors above the ground, probably the upper levels of the car park. There are other persons on it already, close to the edge, looking at the street. Everything below is a chaos, people are confused about what to do, but when they start organizing themselves, a couple of guys with guns decide to take over the decision-making and to rule us. One of them points the gun at me and I instinctively punch him, throwing his gun away, and then kick the other in the croch. Then I grab the gun and the first guy shows intention to fight back so I shoot him in the leg. Still, they attack me and I try to shoot again, this time to kill, but there's no more bullets. So I run and some follow me.
Soon I realize we're on an island and there's no place to go. I feel that I'm in an alternative version of "Lost" and I even meet some of the characters of the series. When I and some of the others who escaped, get in the jungle, we encounter them and They tell us to follow them. They live in a fortress on a smaller island offshore and we have to swim there, because there's no boat to take us.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am revisiting my kindergarten. It is now fully modern and totally different. I see one of the teachers from my time. I avoid her before she sees me. It connects directly to an art school. It feels familiar, but why should I know it? When several guys in the common room start looking at me, like they know I don't belong here, I hide behind a book shelf and pick up a large comics book. A boy appears and talks to me. He knows me, says he didn't expect to see me there again, I do feel like we've met before.
We go for a walk. A semi-rural area, it's pretty, but he says the surprise is still to come. At the top of a narrow street sided by old stone walls, we encounter an entrance to an old castle. He introduces me a couple of hippies who have reclaimed this abandoned site and are slowly making it their home and reconstructing it.
I leave and find myself floating through the air down to the urban area. I become aware and watch an open area, with concrete floor, a few trees, people walking in a hurry in different directions, heading to their jobs. It's a grey, rainy day, people look somber and mindeless. I am lucid and don't have a clear goal, so what I decide to do is reverse time. Don't know why, but I do it. I watch people walking backwards, the wind blowing backwards, the clock moving anti-clockwise. Then I stop it and time resumes it's course, forward. Most people don't react to what just happened, they do exactly what they had done before, repeat the same steps. But something amazing happens, a few of them remember! And whatever they are feeling changes their perception of everything. A couple of friends who is crossing paths again, they walk slowly to each other, with lucid understanding in their eyes, they stare with a smile in their faces and then they hug, with no rushes. Others stop walking and swirl around, like dancing, or stare at the sky or look at others admired that they haven't seen what they saw. They experience a small enlightnement with the realization of the relativity of reality.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Before falling asleep, I invoked the dakinis that watch over our sleep and dream, asking for awareness and protection against the darkness we can encounter in the dream world. Later I woke up and I saw a tiny dot of light, of the kind that I so often see during the nights, above my forehead, gently dancing like a firefly. It disappeared soon after - they never last more a few seconds visible - but the feeling of seeing them is just indescribable.
Then I fell asleep and started dreaming that I was laying in a dream version of my bed. The dakini also materialized in the dream. She looked like a moth butterfly with a humanoid body, but she wasn't pretty, was a bit more monstrous like. Anyway, she flew around my dream bed and fought away two dark clouds of energy that entered the space. Then disappeared, dragging away that darkness.
The dream continued - I don't recall a chunk of it - but then I was on a car with Riverstone down a winding road. The car starts speeding and he loses control of it. He panicks, but I take over the control of the car and tell him not to worry, because we're just dreaming. He is surprised. I insist so, but he only believes after seeing me landing the car safely after it flies out of the road and over a cliff.
I keep aware as the dream proceeds and then I am in a situation where I meet two ladies who are also freaking out with something and once again I remind them we're just dreaming. They never heard of such thing as being aware in dreams and want proof and explanations. So I provide a short intro on lucid dreaming to them and tell them I am considering making workshops on the topic and give them the names of a couple magazines and websites where I might announce the coming workshops, so that they come and meet me in person.
Now... I don't know why the hell I committed to organize such workshops to two DC's [potential other dreamers] but should I keep my promise or ignore it?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I was in Vienna, Austria and accidentally bumped in with my guru. We were pleasantly surprised with the encounter. He invited me along, we didn't talk much but we promenated through gardens and a couple of other beautiful places, antique shops, etc. I stayed with him until he had a public talk later on and when I prepared to sit in the audience he invited me to sit by his side, on the stage. I was honoured and in panic at the same time. It brought up a lot of jealousy towards me, especially from some of his female students.
As I stayed with him for the next days, a war started between some of his closest students, to kick me out and get to my place. Although I was not feeling obsessed with keeping it per se, I felt like I wanted to prolong this honour as long as possible in order to be blessed with more teachings from my guru.
At some point two of the girls laid down in bed with him for the night. The next day it was my birthday and some friends had organized a party for me, so I went to say goodbye as I was leaving. He didn't want me to go, but they totally wanted to see me go, so they got up and took me to the bathroom where they confronted me, insulted me and made me feel unwanted. I did not want to fight but I felt sad that my guru was allowing them to bully me. I knew that he knew, but he was not interfering in any way. I felt discouraged.
While in the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and decided to tide up myself, put on some make up, before going to the party, but the girls were not happy yet and continued insulting me, saying it was worthless, that I looked cheap and uninteresting no matter what, that I certainly had bought my dress on a retailer with coupons and what not. I started to feel really angry and I fought back, I insulted them to and I remember telling to the leading girl that I had another coupon for her, for a quick upgrade course on being a bitch.
That's when my guru appeared again, at the door looking at us, and all of a sudden I didn't feel angry anymore. I decided to let go of the emotions, to allow myself be filled with pure peace of mind and to let it expand out to everyone around me. Then the girls started freaking out and exploded into a hundred snake-dragons flying out in all directions. Then, there was only silence and nothingness.