Lucid-schizo-dreamer

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I have been crossing a desert with few lucid dreams these past couple of years, mostly due to my mind's attention having been taken over by "reality" and its demands. But lucid dreams do happen once in a while. I had one a couple of nights ago, I suddenly got aware I was dreaming and didn't waste any more time, went straight to realizing the whole dream scenario was an illusion and made it all disappear and just hang around in the void and emptiness. But I didn't last long, I felt that cry of despair of the ego, wanting to go back to what’s familiar, to references... and as soon as I felt it, I was back into the stream of dreams.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am attending my guru's teachings and one afternoon session is cancelled due to some couple who objects something very strongly. I hear them saying something about cruelty and dead animals. I don't know what's going on, but what they say doesn't make sense. Next day we're back in and the guru makes us watch some footage of a horrible tv show (apparently) in which puppies are squashed on stage by big machines. I want to vomit with the horror and I don't understand what I am seeing. I cry but I keep watching, because ignoring it won't undo it. I understand that I must go beyond my suffering and make it about their suffering. Also, I must develop compassion for the sick bastards who're behind this "thing". That's not so easy.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am on an expedition in a remote place, looking for someone who got lost or something. Instead, I find a treasure: many ancient Buddha statues and Guru Rinpoche statues, filled with precious jewels and sacred substances, including a yellow powder, I've no idea what it is, but all my colleagues seem to desire it greedily.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At my home, I notice smoke on the hill in front of my house, my mom's by my side, I try not to worry her. But it doesn't take long and I see fire arising from the top of the hill. I'm worried, but I think of ways to keep our house safe, prepare the garden hose to fight the fire if it comes closer. But the worst case scenario happens: the fire is coming from all directions around us and soon we are surrounded and no way of escape. I feel strangely calm that there's nothing we can do about it...

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I go to the subway. A dog goes inside the subway station to and I talk to him. He is homeless and just wants to find a shelter to have some rest. I wish him all the best, totally fine about having had a conversation with a dog.
I buy a ticket, but instead of going to a normal train to somewhere, I get an entrance ticket to some kind of surreal game. in the underground tunnels, which now I realize are not the subway any more.
More people are joining the game. We enter an atrium where we find a kind of tomb of a king. From it arises a ghost and he tells us we're going to have to face the truths about this place and solve its mysteries, no matter how scary it may become. Then he disappears and we all go in different directions.
On my path I encounter what appears to be a madhouse full of demonic ghosts. I realize I have to go across them, so I remind myself they are not real and I pass through them as if they are fog. At the end of this path I receive revelations about the ins and outs of the world and the people and I am offered to experience all kinds of sensual delights, but I only feel disgust and sadness that others are so blind to the truth by it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am on top of a mountain when I witness an amazing out-of-this-world happening. First some kind of ball of light appears in the sky, surrounded by a kind of dark vortex around it. It starts growing and causing some disturbances on the ground. Then some other type of energy in the shape of stormy clouds seem to appear to counteract its effect. Then a giant alien being appears in the sky and the energy ball grows even stronger and starts sucking some things towards it and disintegrates them. I can clearly feel reality fading away as it enters that light. I'm right at the edge of its pull and I feel it touching me deep inside and showing me the “reality” after everything I know disappears. It is the end, nothing will remain. I feel an emptiness and a sadness beyond words. I am a river of tears in the shape of a soul. But the counteracting force seems to be gaining hold and preventing it from moving as fast as it would. I don't know what this means. I still feel it's the end of everything today, but now I feel the urge to warn people. So I descend from the top of the mountain and I spread the news high and low that the world is coming to an end. The people closer to me do not believe me, even seeing the giant luminous ball in the sky growing by the minute. How can they deny it? I don't get it! But many others believe the same thing I do and the news is spreading fast. I then encounter people abandoning shopping, all of a sudden realizing that they don't need any of that since they will stop existing soon and then realizing that it was true anyway at any other moment of their existence. We were always going to die, we just didn't know when. I feel what they feel, they too are a river of tears.
I feel the urge to find my friend Zilla. I don't know where she is and instead I go to her parents. Her father opens the door. He invites me in. He already knows what's coming. He says I won't have time to see Zilla, as she is far away, but that he has a gift she wanted to give me. I see it right away: she had bought two awesome white samurai swords, identical, one for each of us. They are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I don't even dare to touch them. I tell him to let them stay together as they are now on a shelf. I will never touch them, there's no point. I am happy just to have seen them.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am at some exotic place, like an old church semi-ruined, where groups gather to have workshops like tile making and other artistic works. I go downstairs for a break and pass by a hallway where I see on my periferal vision a man with a hooded cape, sitting on the floor against a wall, like a beggar, but not really begging. It's only a few steps ahead that I realized: “didn't I just see my guru?” I look back but he's already gone. I go after him through a door to the outside, a maze of crowded streets like in some middle eastern village. I finally spot them and keep trying to reach him, but he Is fast and I keep loosing him at every corner. He knows I am after him, but he is like a jedi master, he wanted me to see him, bu not to meet him, just to know that he is keeping an eye on me.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am in London, parts of it are flooded. I meet Evangelion by chance. We spend some time together, we flirt and end up kissing. Then he asks me if I would have an affair with him. I'm undecided. It's been one of my fantasies, but when we kissed, I felt nothing. I honestly don't know.

Some guys in power have decreted the elimination of most part of the human population. Only the ruling elite and a few selected slaves are allowed to live. Everyone else is supposed to die. I think the argument is to reduce humanity's footprint on the planet and restart a society with a much smaller population. Many people volunteer to die for that cause, but those who don't are hunted down and become fugitives with no place to go.
I'm one of those fugitives. I become part of a non-organized resistance that sabotages whatever it manages to.
I and a couple of others end up breaking in one the places where volunteers and captured people are killed. It's like an underground slaughterhouse. People seem mindless, maybe drugged or just in shock, naked and shaved. They go through something like gas chambers, because we then see the dead bodies being taken on conveyor belts to automated dismembering and chopping machines. I don't know what they do with the remains, I just find out a way to blow up the god damn place.
Then we keep on running. We infiltrate a city of people with permits to live. We somehow manage to talk to one of them who might be willing to help us get a permit, but he to seems a bit spaced out or drugged. He explains the procedure to get the permit and basically it's impossible to get it, except getting a fake ID of someone who had been allowed to live but died for some reason and that seems to be way out of our reach.
So we keep running. Until one day we are caught in the middle of raid in a farm we came across. A militia that hunts down the fugitives apparently found a big group of them in this place. My friends were caught in the middle. I am using a dry toilet outside and away from the main house, so they haven't found me yet, but I see from the distance that the guy in command of the militia is one who has caught me before and raped me and thought he had left me to die (but I didn't). I plan not to let him get away, but that might imply I sacrifice my life to kill him. He is coming closer to where I am, he will find me in a minute...

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I live and work at a farm, possibly in Germany. The owner is a nazi sympathizer or at least that's my impression of him, since he seems to be well integrated in the nazi society. Most of the farm workers are jews, men, women and children, forced to labor like slaves. Their life conditions are miserable and I do my best to help them. I am also a worker, not jew, but of a lower class than my boss. He is in love with me and I am his mistress, but he can't have a serious and socially accepted relationship with me due to my humble origins. Also, I don't love him, I just tolerate his sexual advances because he provides me some privileges and I also use it to manipulate him, for instance, to better the conditions of the forced workers. I feel a lot of empathy for these people and I am particularly fond of the children, especially a little orphan 2-year old girl, whom I love like my own child.
The boss is a bit obsessed with dressing me up with pretty lingerie and sometimes I feel sick with how he shows me off in underwear and analyzes me in front of his best friend while they are having lunch, for example. He treats me like a sex toy. But when he is pleased, I can get him to agree on certain things, like providing hot baths for the jews, when previously they only had cold showers, even in the winter. He allows the german house workers to heat up large pots of water to fill in the bathtub for the jews to take a bath if they wish. But when I tell them the news, only a couple of them accepts happily the offer. The others are suspicious, as if afraid that if they take it, something bad will happen to them later as punishment. I don't understand and feel disappointed.
One day some nazi guys come for a visit and insist on taking a picture of the farm workers all lined up. As usual, I serve as intermediary, because they like me and they trust me. I sense much nervousness in them and the children feel the tension and start crying. I tell them it's just a photo, no reason to be afraid and with somber faces they line up. But the 2-year old baby is restless and the lady who is holding her can't keep her quiet, so I step in the line up and hold the baby in my arms, as only I can quiet her down. Her eyes are full of fear as if she can sense something that I can't. I feel so much love and compassion for this baby. I hold her in my arms with unconditional love as they take the picture with me included.
Life goes back to normal, until one day my boss gives me some money to go buy some pretty clothes in the village or town nearby. When I return at the end of the day, I find all the jewish workers screaming and crying inside a truck, being taken like cattle to the slaughterhouse. I freak out, I try to stop the truck, I plead to my boss, but he is also upset, it is not in his hands. I didn't think he cared much for the jews, but he didn't hate them either and found useful to have them as a free work force. But then I realized that deep down, he had started to apprecciate the idea that they were in a safe environment at his farm and that he could save their lives. But there were superior orders that they'd be taken somewhere else and I learned the ugly truth of what was going on with the jews.
Much later, we left the farm and the country. My boss and a couple of his friends, who no longer could take part of what was going on in their country, flew to Havana and he took me with him. I could feel a difference in him and I started being treated more like equal. We started a new life, leaving the suffering behind. I took refuge in the experience of an exotic country and other life realities to try to forget the unfortunate people I had left behind.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

This one is both erotic and gross, so be warned.

I am attending my guru's teachings but it turns into something else. He is performing something like an empowerment and then he directs his attention to me, by making a reference only I understand. Then he throws a kind of ritual cover with buddhist symbols over my lap. It seems random or accidental, but I am starting to think maybe not. Then he recites something nysterious and a lady on his left side, who is helping with the ritual, finishes with a sort of wishful phrasing like "may your wish be fulfilled" meant for the guru.
After this event, as night falls, I feel light headed and eerie and an urge to go somewhere. I feel fluid and like walking on clouds. I move like dancing, but I don't know where I am going. I feel like I'm being drawn somewhere until I actually feel like a real hand guiding all my movements. It's a warm and gentle hand. I submit willingfully.
I arrive at a place with a couple of guards by a door, but the door is wide open and there's someone descending a staircase. It is my guru, but a god-like version of him, skin so flawless as made of metal. And he is completely naked, using only adornments around his waist, neck and head. On one hand he has pointy silvered fingernails. He embraces me, I feel his warmth and smoothness. He removes my dress with just a touch and turns me around. We're both naked in front of a mirror. He kisses me and caresses me. I feel horny like crazy, I'm panting with desire. Then he pierces my left ear lobe with his silver fingernails and starts sucking my blood. At the same time he penetrates me from behind. He says calmly "I'm in". I'm lost in ecstasy, I have never felt like this before.
I am about to explode with pleasure when he tells me "do not come". He pulls out of me and tells me to simply let the blood come out. I'm not sure what he means. I know he means blood coming out of my "secret place", I just wonder why. Then he disappears, leaving me in an indescribable state. I feel drained and exhausted, yet, in a climax like no other I've ever experienced. I feel like he went to the deepest inside me and became part of it. I feel like I died and I am reborn again.
When I wake up, I still linger on that feeling and emotion and feel exhausted and exhilarated at the same time.
Meanwhile, my period came. Odd timing.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

... I meet a beautiful exotic lady and she is hitting on me. I feel flattered, a bit excited, but an alarm rings at the same time. I seem to sense something beneath the appearances. I reject the seduction. So her face morphs indistinctively and becomes monstrous. I recognize the demon, Lord Mara. He asks "maybe if I'm a handsome man instead?" and he starts shapeshifting into a hot guy, but I know who he really is, so I reject his seduction. I've already seen his true face! So his shapeshifting doesn't hold and I keep seeing his real monstrous face underneath. I tell him I know we're in a dream, but even so I won't succumb to his temptations. He gets mad. He summons some bad guys with big guns who start shooting in my direction. I'm hit by some bullets, but I repeat that nothing is real, I feel the certainty inside me growing and so the bullets just stop hitting the target. Like Neo, I don't have to dodge bullets Mara gets really furious. He reveals his true self and comes like an explosion towards me with his sharp teeth and claws, threathening to shred me into pieces. But I stay put, I hold my ground. I feel a bit scared deep down, but I keep reminding that he is just my mind. He stops just milimeters from my face. I grab it and make it melt, like I can do to walls and anything else. Melting and angry, he grins at me and says that I may win this battle, but that he will keep coming back, as I know. I do. But I also know it is up to me to stop him entirely, that's enlightnement. But what am I missing? I melt and make disappear the entire dream. I stay for a few moments in the emptiness, then I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


A typical dream of sum of all fears. I am chased by zombies, blood sucking monsters, man-eating tigers, while trying to get out of a complex maze building. One by one, I face all my fears and conquer them, at first by using my warrior skills, then increasingly by applying my super powers, then lastly by realizing the illusory nature of everything around me and dissolving it.
I manage to exit the maze and bring some other woman with me, by realizing that I can create an exit as soon as I know I can.
Once safely outside, I am already planning how to free all others still caught in this maze of illusions. That's when the devilish ruler of the maze appears in front of me, kind of congratulating me for getting out, but I think aslo trying to figure out his next move to entrap me. He still has a trick or two up his sleeve.
My cell phone rings, I pick up, no one replies to my hello, but I hear voices talking on the other side of the line. So I listen to them, I know who they are, people I have been doing business with. They say the bank did not approve my loan request, my reputation is dragged in the mud, my business partners are disappointed and distrust me, my whole "real life" is collapsing. I panic!
Then, for a split second I realize "shit, I'm still trapped. he found my real weaknesses. it's not zombies and flesh eating beasts, it's my fucking "real life" and its mundane shits, my worries about my rep, my future." The true nightmare starts now! I freak out and wake up gasping.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am looking through my bedroom window and notice that all the trees on the street are burnt. Then I see a thunderstorm moving away, but a lightning could not have burnt all those trees. I search the landscape for some clue and I see that instead of the regular houses that exist in my village, the hills are covered in green grass and lovely country houses, almost like the hobbit's shire. So I get lucid. Then thinking of what to do: fly outside the window, stay indoors? Then realizing: what outside? What indoors? So instead I turn “inwards” and all the images disappear. Instead I float in this blackness, splattered by an occasional shine like of distant stars. I just focus on the moment, the sensations, the absence of everything. Until I regain some sense of my body, by starting to feel a warmth n my second chakra. It grows and spreads out, energizing my entire body. It is in fact so much, that I feel the need to shoot out some through the palms of my hands. I get back to my home and I see my 3 cats approaching me curious. I shoot this energy towards them, wishing them many blessings. But they jump and run away as if they receive an electrical shock. Oh well, maybe it was too much for their little bodies

…
I am with a couple of friends and we go meet my teacher. He opens up a vintage drawer and shows us some items, like old photos and postcards, decorative objects, some older, some newer. He says they belonged to the great teacher J.K.W.R., but I feel that he is hiding part of the story. I look at each and every object and I know that some of them actually belonged to his consort, like a small wooden engraved box and an incredible sculpture of a baby in blue stone with his arms around a silver lion. I wonder if this is some kind of test. Try to memorize all the details of the objects.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some community by the sea, maybe on vacation. I don't fit in, people of my age don't get along with me, find me weirdo.
One day while everybody is outside for some kind of town celebration, I am in a cellar, looking for something or also a bit hiding out. That's when I have a close encounter with a kind of dragon eel. I disturb its hiding place and it attacks me. I escape barely and the weird beast disappears. But nobody believes me when I tell the story.
The next day the whole town is under a dome and people talk about aliens. Eventually some turn to me asking me about my encounter with the alien eel, but there's not much I can say about it. Some days after, we wake up to find we're no longer in a glass dome under the sun, but in a rusty metallic enclosure, as if the entire town had been teleported to inside a giant warehouse or ship. By then people were freaking out and kept coming to me to ask questions I could not answer.
Some other day, we got back to see the sun and apparently were freed, but it happened that I had caught a glimpse of something, no one else had seen. I saw the moment of transition and I knew we had not been beam up back home, we had been plugged into a VR simulation. I guessed either they gassed us to put us unconscious and plugged us in individually to the simulation (like in the matrix) or they had means to telepathically plunge us into a VR world. Either way, I seemed to be the only one aware of it. No one else had picked up the transition moment or, once again, believed in me.
I notice that a new face appears among us. It's a lady I haven't seen before and I am sure she is one of the “others”, whoever “they” are. She comes to me. She confesses she is one of the aliens. She also explains she is merely using a human avatar to blend in and confirms we are in a VR simulation. She wants to help. She explains her people kidnapped us and keep us in this high-tech zoo, just as we would keep earth animals in a zoo, for entertainment and research. But she belongs to a small group of activists who understand we are intelligent and sensible beings and who defend our rights. She wants to help me by bringing me along to their assembly, to present our case and to prove that we should be set free.
I wonder how we can do that, but she explains they don't really meet physically, they do it telepathically, in a sort of shared dream environment and she can grant me access to it. Because I don't even know how they look like and everything would just look incomprehensible to me, she makes a kind of filter so that I see things through my expectations of a human like world. So when we enter this meeting place, to me it looks like an auditorium where hundreds of people gather. There's a group presiding the session and different groups seem to present petitions or motions to them. Then they seat down, but when I turn to my friend to ask what I should do, people are already getting up of their chairs. I'm confused. She tells me that since everything is shared telepathically, stuff happen instantly, as soon as a motion is presented, everybody knows what's in it and vote and decisions are made. I just could not pick it up since I don't have such developed capacities. But she says now is the time to come out and reveal myself and present my case. Which I do in a loud, chaotic way. At first they just look at me, emotionless, and many turn away, ignoring me. Others stay in place, but still showing no emotion. Don't know what else to say to convince them. In panic, I start to sing. More heads turn, their faces start to change, at last I get reactions. They are a species who does not know much emotion, they are rational, effective, but since ages they have lost their creativity and passion. They no longer have music or other arts. As I continue singing, I start conquering new adepts, intrigued by this thing that is affecting them. I start to feel that maybe we'll have a chance after all...

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Arrived by bus from a travel, meet my mom who updates me on local news. She tells me some bizarre stories about werewolves attacking people. I ask her what she thinks about it, if true or false, if false what is the intention behind the hoax, if true, has someone died. Apparently there has been disappearances but no dead bodies. And some terrorized eye witnesses. She shares some theories, we discuss them.
Then, by the side of the road, coming out from the tall grass, we see by the corner of our eyes, what seems like a huge black dog. First we disregard it, but considering our topic of conversation, we look again and we notice it's not a normal black dog. It's huge, more like a wolf... or werewolf, hideous, with red eyes, long teeth, growling menacing. My mom freaks out, screams and runs away. I see in his eyes that he will run after her in the next nanosecond to attack her. In the split second it takes me to read its mind, I position myself in front of it, look it in the eyes with total confidence and make a subtle motion with my head and eyes, to signal the beast not to attack and turn away. It looks me in the eyes, angry but submissive and it turns away. I reach my mother, she is terrorized and befuddled. I tell her the werewolf is like a big mean dog and we can control it just like a dog whisperer would control a dog. But deep down I am also befuddled and I feel that I have a natural inate werewolf whisperer gift that I didn't know of. I had no idea I could control these beasts.