non-lucid

Back to work in Stettler until tuesday night. Home for wed, and thurs. again. Me and the Jamie voice are having a time... I keep splitting while my mind wanders at work. Yesterday I found my self on pseudo psychology tiktok again and made it worse. We seem to be okay. Jamie dreams have been up an down.


First night I kept waking up and falling asleep, every dream I was in a different part of wheel of Time.

Daughter Heir

I was talking to the jamie voice. Trying to see if we could sense eachother. I said, "Hold me please." but when I finished the phrase I was in a Royalty palace and Elayne The Daughter heir was staring at me confused. I realize she must have heard what I said. I woke up out of embarrassment.

Jamie 1

I was in a town square. apparently I did something great in some battle or something people were cheering me on. Jamie came up to me and said, "I pledge my allegiance to you!" I just woke up.

The pledge of allegiance? What country are we in?

Jamie 2

Just a flash of Jamie in some ancient garb. looked like the wheel of time. She was holding hands with some girl like they were a couple and smiling....

She's supposed to be holding my hand in the dreams. I thought that's what they were for.

Shadar logoth

I wa in that evil city from The Wheel of Time. Thy abandoned city that is so evil, that not even the Dark one's troops will enter. I was staring inside a doorway, and inside was an enclosed square. A giant roman like pillar was in the room. It was massive. Some creepy voices made by things I couldn't see were whispering in my ear. One voice low pitch and one voice high pitched speaking in unison. They were saying something about something breaking. The pillar then broke at the top. It was hollow inside.

Perrin

I was in the scene where the Trollocs attack the two rivers. Perrin was in a house that was slightly on fire fighting a trolloc. Everything was super slow motion. I startled him and he was turning around andalso his axe was swinging towards me... um. But it was super slow motion.

Next night:

Lan.

a flash that Lan the warder was trying to come onto me. I had no shirt on and he grabbed for my hairy chest.... I was like : WTF no. EW. But I thankfully woke up quickly.

funny WTF Jamie

I was falling alseep. I heard the Jesus voice say, "Jamie wants to wash your spirit." I was like :Wha??? I was naked and Jsmie had a bath basin, wooden , like from really old times. I guess we were still in the wheel of time universe. The had and old bristle brush with a long handle and soap. She starts scrubbing my body and laughing. After she was done she said, "Come over here Robert. Do you want to wash my bum?" and yeah... I'm just going to leave the rest out. Made me laugh though.

last night. not as exciting.

old co worker

Just a flash of walking around a large city. I kept seeing Mansi, the girl I use to work with years ago at Mcdonald's. I wanted to say hi. But I could never catch up to her.

Jamie is angry

Jamie is in a white space and looking at me. She says, "I never cared about you."

I woke up and was wondering what was going on. Maybe she thought I was after the Mansi girl? Oops.

First time in a long time.... No Jamie dreams at all...
I hope they pick up.

Falling

Me and my brother were floating on some mid air raft above some rooftops. It was slowly deflating and my brother was panicking. I noticed a panel on the raft that pumps air back into it. I yelled to him to push it. But he was too scared. We were nearing a rooftop so I tried to push the raft in it's direction. Me and my brother landed on the rooftop the raft now deflated. I had it in my left hand and was going to pull it to myself but the wind blew it out of my hand. It knocked my brother off balance. The roof was slanted and icy. I began to fall too

Cows?

Just a dream where I was surrounded by miniature baby cows the size of puppies.

Seanchan

The setting was from The Wheel of Time book series or Amazon series. I was on a boat with lots of people. I saw Liandrin staring at me.

I woke up and fell back asleep.

In the dream again. A group of us were captives on the boat. We had collars on us controlled by other people. The controllers were ordering us to use magic in their war. We were brought on deck , rows of us. We were approaching a walled city. With one command we were ordered to shoot magic at the city. It was like a wave of power went through us shooting magic. It felt intense.

The boat started rocking back and forth. Then it was on fire. The boat shattered and we all feel into the sea.

Back in Stettler. I've been given 2 new prayers. One for the kindness of Jamie's heart. And 2: to pray that she finds me. My 15 minute prayer list got longer.

Jamie 1

A dream of her standing behind a counter looking zoned out. Not responding to me.

Uh oh. That hasn't happened in a while.

Jesus

A dream of Jesus hugging my brother.


My brother is like the most anti Christian guy I know. Also why my family knows nothing about my faith. My family is toxic enough without adding extra things they could traumatize me with.

Running

I was in a field with a woman. Some guy, David, ran past us at super speed. I ran up a hill after him. The woman following behind me stopped from being tired. I kept going up but the path got way too steep. I stopped too. I think the woman was Jamie.

Jamie again

Jamie was with me outside by a building. I had very low awareness. She was trying to convince me that some tall British woman with glasses should be my girlfriend. She suggested that I write a letter to her. I reluctantly did.

Gave the letter to the woman and ran away. Me and Jamie followed the woman to a bar. Jamie convinced me to approach her again. I did with some light banter but the woman was with two other men. She then implied with a joke that maybe she would have 3 dicks in her tonight instead of two...

Okay I pretended to be into that and promptly walked away. I went outside and Jamie was there. She got in front of me. I was behind her. We were in an embrace we seemed to be having sex as we were both moaning. But I couldn't feel anything. She abruptly stopped after a minute and left.


Sigh: please no more loyalty tests. Testing in a dream is inaccurate because in a lot of dreams I lack considerable awareness. Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It says nothing about dating multiple woman or finding a girlfriend . Jesus already called on me to think of Jamie as exactly how I would a wife. Even though it hasn't happened yet. So that's the position I'm in and I'm not backing down.

Jamie 3

I was in a fast food restaurant. Jamie was working the counter. I was looking at the menu when a woman from the group behind me went around me and went to where Jamie was standing and tried to order. Jamie scolded the woman and said to wait in line until I had ordered.

Back in Stettler. Had barely any dreams for a couple days. I had lots of non lucids but I forgot many details.

Jamie 1

Just Jamie standing on a road by a mountain or something, she was looking at me and said, " I'm a lesbian now." And smirked as if I might like it or hate it.


Really? This again? Safe to say as usual if I dream of her like this it's because of some demon interference or influence. In the voice we've had our issues lately but we keep pushing through.

I wake up and pray for Jesus to help us with the dream problems..

Jesus

Jesus is with us but he looks annoyed with us. Maybe jokingly? Not sure.

Work

I was somewhere with people and ran into the lady who runs out of the box. Just a brief conversation with me saying I'd like to be on call again.

Jamie 2

I was walking with Jamie by some random buildings we seemed back to normal. I was talking but I kept messing up my words. Jamie questioned me about what I said. I told her when I'm tired I sometimes mess up my words. Or when I'm nervous.


Hopefully the dreams improve.

Just a couple dreams. Been working long days.

Jamie

I was at a supper table with Jamie and some older woman. Her mother. Jamie was quiet but seemed to be looking at everything I was doing and she was smiling every time I said something.

I was getting up a few times to get something from the cupboard? I had a small half dried piece of drywall mud. It sounded like it was chiming or ringing. I said I thought the sound was like hearing partials when tuning unisons on a piano. I was asked to explain what partials were. A partial is a harmonic that a note hits. There's an octave partial, a fifth, second octave and so on. Why tuning pianos is so hard is that good tuners tune unison s to hit at least 4 partials. If the 2 strings sound pure but the partials are wavering, it's not pure. I was explaining this when the dream ended.

Scary house

I was driving with Scott and Yves. The guys who ripped me of when working for them last month. We were heading from Canmore. There was a turn off with a big snow drift. They took the exit. I was panicking that we were going to slide off the road. But we didn't. We seemed to be following a blind couple in a station wagon.

The road wound up a mountain. We came to a big house. The guys said it was abandoned and that we were going to spend the night there. The blind couple was there along with other people who kept coming and going.

I was alone in a room. I kept finding pictures of normal looking people. But after a few seconds a demon face would appear in the picture and a creepy voice would speak. This happened a few times.

I'm glad the Jamie dreams are consistent.

Lots of dreams. not a lot of time to type. I go back to stettler tomorrow for 10 hour shifts. I have wed and thurs off. week off every 3rd week.

Lucid

Vague, low level lucid. I was in a building with lots of people. I seemed to waste time telling them it's a dream. I don't know why I keep doing that. Lucids are frustrating. They are too short for me. Attempts to stabilize seem to make it worse.

dad

Dream where my dad was sleeping somewhere strange but wanted a hug before bed. I obliged.

food twist

I was in my kitchen serving some spaghetti. I dug down in the bowl it was in but underneath was mac and cheese... ok strange combo. I once ate a burger restaurant that had a mac and cheese burger. I literally had to try it. It was interesting but good.

Jamie break up

I woke up in the middle of the night. The jamie voice kept saying she wants to break up. (We both seem to get voices like that, upon waking. We just push through and ignore them. A simple prayer about voices in my head seems to make it stop.) The voice transitioned to a dream. Jamie was holding a blue ATM card, presumably from ATB and said that we were breaking up. She was trying to bend the card until it broke.

Next dreams seemed to indicate whatever was wrong had been solved somehow.

Kittens

I had a FA. In my room were lots of different kittens wandering in and out of my room. One had a really flat face. Others were of the same color. I noticed a baby skunk. I turned away. A woman's voice said it was cute. I looked and saw the skunk run away. The woman had brown hair. I felt it was somehow both Jamie and Asuka merged into one. I said to keep it away from my dog. He's already been skunked twice...

Construction

I was in a big place under construction. The layout made no sense. Young people 16-20s were working there. There was a bridge by a tricky stairwell... I left and went back to it but the people made the bridge into something else... Very hard to describe dream.

Serpents or dragons. Jamie?

I was a giant flying thing. like a flying dragon or serpent. (Very rarely dream about this form.) There were other beings around kind of like me but different. We were playing a game or something. by an ocean ther was a large cave with something inside. I was to collect what was in the cave and bring it back somewhere. The other flying dragon things were supposed to stop me. I went right under the water and waited for one to fly past the cave and away a distance. It seemed to but before I could move. It latched onto me from above. It was gentle, not harmful or threatening. We flew out of the water. I got up above it and playfully held it. It looked at me and smiled. The being had very light grey eyes that seemed familiar. I said, "Oh I could never harm you. you are so friendly." or something.

After thinking I think it was Jamie. That means she was in a dragon flying form in dreams as well?

Pillar

some weird dream about me and some woman building a pillar with metal or something. Not sure exactly what was going on.

Had a panic moment when DV wasn't loading for a bit...

Jamie 1

Not pg 13... Me and Jamie were watching porn.... Jamie excitely pointed at the screen at something I won't mention.


Oh well. Weather we are being good or getting into trouble as long as "we're together".

Jamie 2

I'm not in the dream. Jamie is with some woman. They are... I won't mention. But jamie abruptly cuts the woman off and leaves quickly and angrily. I think the voice was telling me something like this.

Other random dreams I can't seem to recall much. One was work related. I was working with a ladder but the ladder went away? not sure.

I was hoping the more affectionate dreams can come back. Like hugging, hand holding, and kissing.

BTW everyone is working out of town but me until next week. If Jamie wants to do one of her drive by stuff on me... or even talk to me. These next few days are a great time. I'll be watching!!!

Let's try to be good from now on.

As if in response to my last entry, there was a couple nights I had a tough time talking to the voice. Her voice admitted to being distant and apologized. Lately we've both seemed to be mentally entertaining similar vices we have. Not physically at least, and I won't say what. Her voice asked for privacy in the matter. But last night we both seemed to agree that said vices threatens to keep us apart, and we are both addicted to the security of coming back together after mentally dipping our toes in danger.It's kind of like the couple that breaks up all the time to have make up sex. But it's not specifically that. Maybe it's a borderline thing, I dunno. I just hope IRL we can find better ways to keep the relationship exciting and safe. Having a stable relationship can be boring sometimes, but it's better for people like us in the long run

Dreams:

Fire

There was a tiny demon in Jamie's room laughing and setting fire to her room.

Jamie


Quick flash of me being on a dock at night. Jamie was there with me staring at me.

Jamie 1

Just a flash of Jamie looking at me from somewhere. couldn't malke out much details. I had this flash while praying very tired.

Jamie 2

I was at a bar or something. Jamie was working there. My home animals were there. I was petting a black cat who seemed larger than normal. My dog was also there. Jamie was behind a bar working away, she didn't mind that I was there.

???

Some guy I barely know A, was looking at me strangely from an above place. Like he was watching me go through my current dream.

Jamie 3

I was in a bedroom with Jamie. There was no light on. There were a bunch of boxes or something. We were moving them out of the way.

Jamie 4

Just a flash of me and Jamie walking into a courthouse during the daytime.

I think the secret to more Jamie dreams is imagining I'm holding her in my be while I talk to her voice. We both seem to enjoy imagining a few different scenarios. and there still is a sensation, like we are both doing so with some spirit body???

Weather is finally decent. Maybe Jamie will start her drive bys again? I'll be watching.

Jamie

Jamie hands me a bagel and cream cheese.

Actually, I remember getting that with her through a drive thru once.

WTF

Longer dream that I can't recall. Only part I remember is that me and my dad were watching something on a computer monitor. One of those curved ones. There were ghastly women who were naked... but they were half dead. They were showing really gross things on the screen. Vibe was: creepy, scary, disturbing.

Not much else to report....

Been trying melatonin chewables.... they taste good but not helping much.

Jamie

Only dream I seem to recall with Jamie in it. I was starting work at a new factory or warehouse job or something. Jamie was there, also a new hire. We are on lunch break or something. I'm at a table and I look at another table and see Jamie is sitting with some woman. The woman turns her head right around to look my way and turns back after a second. They were talking about me?

After work I'm following Jamioe home. We are walking. I go up a street on a hill to not be so obvious. (IRL I would never stalk anyone.) The streets look like the ones on GTA5 (Been grinding that game online, taking a break from Cringenight). After that my memory fades.

I have a conversation about the dream with Her voice. She said that she was telling the woman in the dream that I'm her boyfriend.

What?

I was hanging around a guy I used to hang around with... Another J. he said him and his family were moving to texas or something.

That's all. I hope I have more Jamie dreams.

Two fragments of Jamie.

Dream 1

I just remember Jamie was around. I can't recall what the dream was about.

Dream 2

Jamie talking to some guy. She seemed to be flirting with him. She said something about a husband?

Woah, what? I mean that would explain the silence. I don't why I'm not even worth an explanation. Or " worth the effort". As she once put. I guess I'm not.

Dexter again

I'm on season 4 already. Just dreamed that Dexter and the Trinity killer were talking to one another.. They seemed really close that's it.

Jamie voice seemed to be splitting after my last entry. Wasn't sure why. Of course I meant she's more than welcome to come to my door and ask for me. I simply meant other options as suggestions for whatever she feels comfortable with. Maybe she was upset over my unwillingness to reach out first. Even though I already did a few times. She never responded. If my best message to her still isn't good enough for her. No further attempts are necessary. I argued with her voice on this early this morning about this very thing. She admitted: It's unreasonable to expect you reach to me, if I don't respond. Exactly right! This entirely changes if she begins to talk to me and let's me know that further communication is okay. I'm ready to step up then.

Dreams:

2 nights ago.

Jamie 1

(Can't use colors because I can't get posting entries here to work properly on PC or mobile. What gives DV? What gives?)

I dreamed Jamie was working construction with me or something. I was climbing up some scaffold or something. Jamie was climbing to but she was surrounded by wooden ramps and walls they were also moving very fast. I told her that's not necessary, we're simply here to work.

Fortnite again?

Jamie 2

She was with me in a house? We kept flying around but instead of talking , we kept leaving notes for one another.

Jamie 3

I was with Jamie in a city. She had a fancy blue car. She pushed a button and it started changing into a more fancy car or something. She laughed and asked if I liked it?

When I woke up. I kinda split on that. She seemed like her careless and grandiose self of which I have very bad memories of. I recall her being quite hurtful when she was like that.

Jamie 4

I was walking on a residential street. I was eating a sandwich. It had some meat and a shitload of mayonnaise. It was messy. I don't recall liking it too much.

Woke up and the voice said she made me pastrami on rye? Oops I was supposed to like it. Sorry.

This whole entry seems negative. So I'll end on some positive notes.

Pets

I woke up on top of a bunk bed. There were tiny goats flying up to me and I was petting them.

Also the Jamie voice wanted me to confirm some of the jokes we say to one another. Many months ago I was trying to cheer up her voice by saying, " I believe in the good person inside of you." She responded, " You are the good person inside of me." Lol. Read into that however you like. It's been a running joke ever since.

I hope next dreams are loving and affectionate. These holidays were more moody than what I would have liked.

Merry Chrysler! Aw, shit it's boxing day...


Scary height?

Me and Jamie were on a giant tall hill. In the middle of a giant tree... with a wooden base around it built into the tree. We had two other members on the team running around below. We were waiting for something. for some reason I had a pistol on me... Wait are we dreaming about fortnite again? OG map? Jamie said that this was really high up. She seemed scared. I was too. some guy from our team said no one was around so it was safe to go down. We did. I found a bunker full of food. I felt like making bacon.


Last night:

Jesus again

Me and Jamie were in a very large standing area. There was a multitude of couples with us in the standing area. It felt like these couples were like me and Jamie - Hand picked by Jesus for life commitments - but he had to separate them first to work on them. We were all facing the front where there was a throne. Jesus was there on the throne. He said, "My children I'm beginning my work NOW to bring you all together again."

I woke from this dream. The Jesus voice said (Or Holy Spirit), "Jamie is knocking on the door now.". That's funny, when I first arrived back in Bowden, over a year ago, He said she was at the door.

Well, my door is open. If she wants to talk, She knows where my house is. I would not turn her away. If she's comfortable with phones first, my business with my personal cell is online, and in the Western.Buy.Sell.Trade paper. Or, if she wants to leave a note on my car. We both seem to be at a stalemate - I've already tried to reach out to her, she doesn't respond, I don't like what her non response does to me, so My hands are tied. I've seen her drive by me many times, but she never stops to talk. Maybe Jesus is hinting that he may do something... wether it's running into eachother more often, or through familiar people, or situations. In any case, it sounds like it's on the horizon.

Jamie 3

I'm with Jamie in a house kitchen that seems to be ours. She's carrying a baby. She says, "We're beginning to run out of food."

Yes, I'm worried about that too. Even if together there might be staying with In-Laws for a while. My business is slowly picking up. I want to get other things going too. Like flipping computers. There's lots of things to gt into for side hustles or careers.

Due to work schedule and getting up early. Really low recall. Only dream was maybe Jamie.

No soup for you.

I was in a convenience store or grocery store. There was an Asian woman at the counter. She seemed really familiar. I said I wanted to buy soup. The woman looked confused and said that I can't buy soup. I pointed to the sign above a counter where some soup was. She looks and kind of hits herself lightly on the head as if: duh. As she went to the soup counter I said, "I need that to go please."

IRL I had soup from a grocery store when Jamie was with me.