lucid

It is now 7:28am and I am too afraid 2 go back 2 sleep

I did my 1st WILD/Lucid Dream last nite so I was TOTALLY AWAKE but u know the rest...anyway, @ 1st it was taking 4ever 4 me 2 get my soul 2 leave my body...so then I turned on my back and I kept patting my hands which I saw in a vid 2 enhance my soul to leave my body....this was going on for quite some time but I was determined NOT 2 give up.

Finally, after what seemed like forever...suddenly I actually felt my soul starting to rise out of my body...I was so geeked as I could actually feel this happening....it was such a very-very-very slow process & movement but again...I was not about 2 give up.

Finally, my body I believe got all the way right to the very tipy-tip of my body & then it just STOPPED and would not go any further...at 1st I kept doing various techniques 2 enhance my body floating up (climbing up a rope, elevator...) but @ this junction I could no longer concentrate...So, this is bothering me greatly because my body just hung there dormit like & would not 'ascend'....so then I felt my right hand floating upwards...so @ 1st i thought again it was my sould going upwards but then I realized no, it definitely was my right arm extending up in the air but not @ full extension...not my left arm because it was underneath my covers.

So now I'm like oh #### my hand is just hanging in the air....which felt like forever....and then its as though something was in the room with me...It's so weird 2 try 2 explain but its as though something was taking each one of my fingers and placing it on something?? @ this junction I'm scared-I mean really scared & my heart starts racing....so now I'm trying to calm my self & whatever happened my main focus was NOT 2 try 2 move anything more than I'm suppose 2 because remember, I'm suppose 2 be sleeping...

I wanted 2 open my eyes but I was too scared...then I felt like trying 2 grab whatever was moving my fingers but again I was too scared....so then naturally tears started streaming down the right side of my eye...just on the left side...so now i'm thinking I have 2 control my emotions....I tried as smoothly as I could 2 move my finges a bit 2 see what I could FEEL....I felt my fingers go over something?? can't explain really...and then its as though each finger was laid on something?? because my fingers weren't tired from just hanging in the air...and the object felt like a metal plate?? but was very solid 2 the touch....I was not worried one bit my fingers would slide off...

I'm not sure if its because of my tears which now I cried about 3x's or something was looking directly over me and could tell my eyelids were not moving in REM but whatever it was knew something....it left my soul was hanging @ the point it was at and would not go any further...I was a bit scared that I would get tired & move but I never got tired...

the next thing I knew my fingers were being put back in its original position but it was done with such care and very-very slowly as not to awaken?? me....and then my soul started to go right back in my body....I started to shed more tears because @ that point I felt like I failed somehow??? and my soul never fully ascended....and I wasn't sure if whatever was with me was still in my room so for some time I didn't move but then finally, I played it off and I turned over and grabbed my stuff bunny rabbit & hugges it very tightly...

My body @ that point when I went to turn over felt so heavy and then my body felt really-really weird...like my soul didn't go back all the way yet and so it felt strange within my normal body....and I kept crying more & more now so I knew this wasn't any good...so again I played it off....yawn and opened my eyes and went to the bathroom....when finish I looked in my small make-up mirror I have on the wall...and there was this white line from my eyes all the way to my ear....like my tears were made from salt...I wet my shirt and had to rub hard to get it off.

In another recent dream I had I heard someone in my bedroom give 2 command words which I cannot remember now & then PUFF just like that I saw this portal open up in the sky and thinking my soul?? came out of it and jumped back in my body....I know this because my body jumped up a bit....so i am wondering why wouldn't my body ascend all the way??? just it waiting for the command words again?? I tried everything possible to make it float all the way up and it just wouldn't go up any further....this was the 1st time I ever experienced this and words truly cannot express how it felt but something was over my bed with me and I WAS NOT ASLEEP...that I am 100% certain of....

I'm too shaken up to talk about it right now....can anyone help me with some answers please.