non-lucid

Bedtime: ~ 12:30
WBTB: No
Aids: None
Recall: Medium
Vividness: High
Awesome Factor: Medium

I'm in what looks like a high school gymnasium, minus the bleachers, with a bunch of other people. I don't know why we are there, but I don't think we are actually attending high school. The only person there with me that I think I recognize is a middle-aged woman, C, whom I'd had some classes with in grad school.

I think people have sleeping bags and/or are just hanging out on the floor. There is a television at one end of the room, and someone puts on The Avengers. In the dream I don't own the movie yet, and am super excited that it's already out on DVD/Blue-ray.

Suddenly Tom Hiddleston-as-Loki is there in real life, performing his confrontation with Odin in Thor, except that Odin isn't there and Tom/Loki is facing us. He's only a few feet away and I realize, to my delight, that I've basically got front row seats. I'm sitting just behind C. I'm pretty sure we're sitting on the floor. The weird thing is that we're sitting on the stage and Tom is performing from where audience would normally be. (I don't think my dream self considered this weird, though.)

Tom is dressed pretty much the same as Loki in the movie, except he has a neck brace with writing on it, as if friends had written on it like people do on casts in school. Anyway, I feel so lucky to be there, and I'm totally feeling his performance. I actually get shivers. My attraction to him is secondary to the fact that I'm getting to see this amazing actor perform live and so up close.

Tom is gone now, and I realize that I've been resting my forehead on the back of my former classmate's shoulder. I'm disappointed that instead of enjoying Tom's performance fully and maybe getting some eye contact, I've been hiding my face. I'm also distraught about what the C must have thought about the close contact -- we barely know each other, after all. She has gone somewhere, but I decide that when she comes back I'll apologize and tell her I was tired or had a headache.

Next, I'm outside. It is nighttime, and it looks like I'm on or very near a college campus. There's an abandoned building made largely of glass, which I enter. The ground is earth, and I'm excited to see that it is littered with beautiful crystals. I'm particularly in awe of this huge quartz crystal that must be at least 2/3 my height. It is lying flat on the ground. When I come closer to take a look at it, I see that there is a beautiful, large blue topaz crystal inside the giant quartz, maybe six inches from the point. I decide that I must take it home, worrying if I'll be able to carry it, but when I touch it, it feels like plastic and I'm disappointed.

There is a cluster of topaz or aquamarine lying on the ground nearby. These are attached to the matrix, so I'm sure these are real. However, I don't want to dig it up with my bare hands, so I leave to get some kind of tool.

Outside, I meet a college girl. She says I shouldn't be walking around alone at night, though she's doing the same thing. When I tell her or she sees that I'mgoing to the abandoned building with the crystals, she says she knows it, and seems excited to accompany me. (I don't remember if I got a tool or not.) As we approache the building, however, three female employees from a nearby store are keeping watch over it, since people aren't supposed to be entering.


Key thoughts/emotions: Elated, Uplifted, Impressed, Embarrassed, Disappointed


Interpretation: I think this dream says a lot about my beliefs regarding my acting career, or just creativity and self expression in general. I'm watching one of my favorite actors peform; he's totally in the flow, and I'm feeling it as well. I'm on stage, and yet I'm hiding my face.

If the quartz crystal were the human body, the blue topaz would be in about that same region as the fifth chakra, which is seen as blue and associated with creativity and self-expression. I think it's too good to be true (feels like plastic), so I focus on some more realistic mediocre crystals. Yet I don't want to get my hands dirty, so I go looking for a tool and end up locked out and without any crystals.

My original interpretation is that I don't believe that I can really have what I want: an exciting, fulfilling career that puts me in the spotlight (the big quartz with the topaz inside), but I don't want to settle for a mundane job or getting little reward for my efforts (not wanting to get my hands dirty getting the smaller cluster).

Dream dictionary entries, however, suggest that plastic can means not being true to oneself. This would change the interpretation from simply not believing I can have a successful career to not being meant for great things , but not wanting to settle for less.

Both are pretty gloomy interpretations for a dream that initially left me smiling.

I've been trying, mostly unsuccessfully, to incubate a Loki dream for a while now. I thought I'd try something different for a change... working WITH my Subconscious, which seems to have very different tastes than I do. For many years, I had a certain semi-annual erotic dream about Orlando Bloom...even though I'm not really (consciously) into the guy.

So, I wanted to see if I'd be more successful incubating a Legolas dream. To do this, I've decided to watch the LOTR movies over a course of three evenings -- last night I watched the Two Towers -- while telling myself, every time Legolas comes on-screen, that I'll dream about him. Here's the first result:

Bedtime: 11:50
WBTB: 5:00 (failed)
Aids: B-complex
Recall: Low
Vividness: Low
Lucidity: None
Awesome Factor: Low

Legolas was hugging me (to celebrate our relationship), but throughout some of it he was Megan Fox. I only reached up to his/her waist, and we laughed about that. Secretly, though, I was devastated that it couldn't possibly work, as I was just too damn short! I wondered if I could grow taller if I focused on it.

(Not sure if this is the same dream) We were on board some kind of ship. Water was leaking through, but it was supposedly being controlled by some contraption (that wouldn't, or at least I didn't believe would work for long). I saw an image of water rushing through this thing. The water was very clear. I think Legolas might have been in this dream, hence my suspicion that it's another fragment of the above.

Bedtime: 12:30
WBTB: Woke up multiple times.
Aids: none
Recall: Medium
Vividness: Medium
Awesome Factor: Zero
Feeling upon waking: Sore (neck and shoulders; painless migraine sensations)

-scary escalator turned amusement park ride
-truck killed geese, tried to rescue injured goslings
-pulling spoiled sausages out of frozen ground; trying to save birds/puppy from dog
-watching movie with Dad

Bedtime: 1:00 a.m.
WBTB: 7:30
Aids: none
Recall: Medium
Vividness: Medium
Awesome Factor: Low
Feeling upon waking: groggy

Dream 1: NS took me to a party at some strangers' house. The owners were a middle-aged couple. There were lots of people there, but I didn't know anyone. The house was pretty big, as I recall, and it had a large deck. We spent most of the time outside.

The owners had a black cat, which I found out was dying from a disease. (Something that sounded a bit like "cinnamon.") I asked N, who had had a fair deal of contact with the cat, if it was contagious (I meant to humans, but I didn't say it -- it seemed to be clear in the context), and she said yes. I couldn't believe that I would have been brought here, and that all these people would be sitting around/invited to sit around with a contagious animal. So I asked again. And again she said yes.

I became very angry with her for bringing me to this party and exposing me to the cat. Eventually everyone began to move inside the house. We were supposed to spend the night -- everyone seemed to be -- but I wanted to find a way to sneak out. I didn't find the owners to be very hospitable, anyway.

Dream 2 (fragment , post WBTB): I was at some place with long aisles of tables/counters and (I think) computers? It might have been some kind of office or workspace. Almost everything (the tables, ceiling, floor) was a golden colored wood. There were many bouquets of flowers (hanging or in vases) all along the aisles.

An unfriendly woman with pretty short, dark hair was/worked there. I think my dad was with me. I don't know our reason for being there or talking to this woman.

Bedtime: 12:10
Aids: B6
WBTB: 5:00
Recall: Medium
Vividness: Medium
Awesome Factor: Low

Dream 1 (fragment): I was at a store with Aunt H. There were quite a few earrings lying amongst other things. I found a pair I liked, but then lost them. Aunt had also picked some out.

Dream 2 (post-WBTB):I was at the performance of a play I was assistant director for. I'm not sure if it was the same one I'd been involved in earlier this year, but I think it was mostly the same people. The director of my last film was there, and I was angry that he still hasn't sent me a copy of the film but he had time to attend events. Snoopy was there, too, but he looked more like a real dog than himself, and past director was very interested and taking photos. I think he was currently working on something Peanuts related.

Bedtime: 12:00
Aids: None pre-bed or WBTb, but I did have two cups of peppermint-ginger tea during the day.
WBTB: No
Recall: Medium
Vividness: Low/Medium
Awesome factor: Medium

Dream 1(fragment): I found a crisp one dollar bill in a brochure folder when going through the mail.

Dream 2:I was in a school-like building with various family members. I know for sure that my sister, parents, and Uncle R. were there. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be someone's house or an actual school. The conversation was definitely about school though. Sister was preparing some kind of project and I think she needed some supplies. I was hanging out with her on some kind of loft type thing. Uncle R. was agreeing how schools were overcharging people. That tuition costs a lot and all supplies/trips/etc. still need to be paid for.

Dream 3: The Alamo was an Aztec temple occupied by Aztecs. They were being aided by alien forces. I don't remember very well what they looked like, but they were huge and appeared like slightly more life-like Transformers. One was particularly scary to the opposing forces, which retreated.

Bedtime: 12:20
WBTB: no
Aids: none
Recall: High
Vividness: Medium
Awesome Factor: Low

Sister and I are somewhere. Looks like a very open, one-floor apartment/house.
It doesn't feel like its supposed to be ours, but Dad has his office set up in one corner. I notice a paper lying amongst his things, which turns out to be a message from a mystery cousin who wanted to know something (if he should come?/something about us going on vacation?). The note says something to the effect that he wishes he could visit us/go on vacation with us (I feel like there was some vacation talk in all of this, but I'm not sure).

I start to question Dad and somehow it turns out the cousin is unable to come because his actions are monitored. I somehow draw a comparison between someone else I know about and the cousin, and figure out he's part of the Russian mafia and doesn't have relations with us for our protection (we can't know he's working for them).

I think this is the point at which we go outside. We seem to have gone our the back of the building. There is grass and some very low hills. Maybe some trees. Kinda looks like it did going out the back of my high school.

Anyway, I feel very smart for figuring all of this out and exclaim to Dad and Sister that I know why cousin can't come see us. At that moment I realize I shouldn't have said that, and I say that I shouldn't have said that because "they" might be listening. Dad agrees and suddenly this mystery cousin appears out of nowhere. He is around my age, medium height/build, chin-length dark blond/light brown hair. I think he's wearing a flannel shirt.

I don't remember what/if anything transpires once he makes his appearance.

*There was a documentary about mafia and gangs on TV over the weekend.
I didn watch it, but heard bits and pieces as I went about my business.

Bedtime: 1:30
Bedtime snack: a cup of hot chocolate with a large marshmallow
WBTB: 4:45
Aids (during WBTB): Mugwort tea (1 tsp. mugwort, 1 tsp. chamomile, a pinch of cinnamon)
Recall: Medium
Vividness: High
Awesome factor: Medium


Dream 1 (fragment): I was walking through an art gallery, looking at pieces that were for sale.

Post-WBTB:

Couldn't fall asleep for a long time, but remained relaxed enough for lots of hypnogogic images/sounds. One was really strange. I was looking at some kind of scene from right to left, but it was choppy, kind of like playing an online game with lag. I had another vision that is part of a series of visions I've been having for almost a year, which seem like they could be (oh please, can they be?) prophetic. Interestingly, mugwort is believed to induce prophetic dreams/visions (though I wasn't under its influence during any of the past visions).

Dream 2 (fragment): My sister had connected her laptop to a large widescreen TV to conduct her online classes.

Dream 3: I was K's house (didn't look like it does in real life). W, I, D, and Aunt J were there. They were telling me about a large green parrot they had seen on TV. They wanted to know what it was called. Someone there had a type of Amazon, so I said that if it looked like that, it might also have been one. But if it was bigger -- everyone agreed that it had been bigger -- it could have been an Eclectus, at which point W had something to say about Eclectuses.

K was in the kitchen, doing something by the sink. At this point, I spontaneously realized I was dreaming. NO RCs or anything memory-induced. I just suddenly became aware that I was dreaming (like I did a few times during a nightmare as a kid, at which point I would force my eyes open). So what did I do now that I realized I was dreaming? Told myself I had to wake up, of course!

I don't know why I decided the best course of action was to wake myself up, even though it wasn't a bad dream. Maybe it's just hardwired into my brain because that's what I always did when becoming lucid during a nightmare as a kid. I thought I was smarter than this!

Key emotions: none, really

Bedtime: 12:15
No WBTB - wanted to catch up on sleep
Bedtime: snack: goat cheese with garlic
Aids: garlic (above); low dose vitamin B complex
Recall: Low
Vividness: Medium
Awesome factor: Very low


Dream 1: I'm at my Grandma's house. Someone has given me two macaw-sized parrots, for whatever reason. I'm walking around outside with these parrots crawling all over me. My own parrots are inside the house, and Aunt H is there with her dogs so I'm worried they'll get eaten, but I can's go inside because of the birds I have on me.

Dream 2: I'm at what is probably supposed to be my parents country house, but doesn't look much like it. There's a storm coming. My cousin C is looking out of the window and he says something about a funnel. I take it to mean there's a tornado forming. I try to get everyone to go to the basement, but no one is listening (IWL I'd likely be the one looking out the window and not wanting to go downstairs). My cousin then goes outside...

Dream 3 (or possibly another fragment of dream 2): I'm in a house with a long dining room combined with a living room. The table is on the left side and a sofa on the right end. A bunch of my family members are there. I have this binder with very colorful, whacky hairpieces that I'm looking through. I take out one that has a mask attached. My goddaughter wants it so I let her have it, but later I want it back so I start looking for her. My cousin L, her mother, helps me but we can't find her.


Key emotions: worry, frustration

Bedtime: 11:45
WBTB: 5:30
Bedtime snack: cinnamon & sugar rice pudding
Aids: None
Recall: Very Low
Vividness: Low
Awesome factor: Medium

Dream (fragment): I checked my the DreamZ app (was inspired to start using it again IWL) upon waking up, and it listed symbols I had dreamed of. One of them was a bunch of grapes (I had to find grapes in a scene in Gardens of Time right before bed IWL).

Key emotion: excitement

My recall continues to be dismal. I'm starting to think that maybe the vividness and recall I enjoyed early this month was caused by SSRI withdrawal.

On a more positive note, a lot of the fragments I recall are false awakenings. Guess the SSILD is working its magic.

Im not sure what the order of these dreams was or whether they were both WBTB or which one wasn't.

Dream 1: I was sitting at the kitchen table. I was holding two carved wood handheld mirrors. There was some sort of demon invasion. I thought my parents were demons and expected their reflections to be scary, but when I saw my day's reflection he looked normal.


Mom said that some woman (mentioned in the news?) was suspect to the demons because she had been promiscuous. I told my mom to stop acting like we're living in the dark ages, and she said to my dad, "See, she's one of them." Or something to that effect.


Dream 2: My sister and I were driving somewhere with one of my parrots. It is nighttime. We were going to some lecture, and on the way to the building C got scared and flew away, but I found her near a trash can and picked her up.

C and I sat in a classroom apart from the large lecture hall where we were supposed to be because I was afraid to lose C. Or rather, that someone would hurt her.

Two fragments and a dreamlet that I can't be bothered to write down here as they're already in my Dreamkeeper app.

Fragment: My aunt and uncle came over, and my uncle had some kind of task for me to do. It was really arduous and I didn't want to do it, but I would have felt bad saying no because I don't see him often.

Dream 1 (not sure if pre or post-WBTB): I was at what appeared to be the church, but with the aisles divided by walls. Only the front area (where the altar would have been, but wasn't) was open. There were a bunch of girls in their mid or late teens that were going to take part in some ceremony. I was just kind of wandering around aimlessly, I think.

Then I went to the back of the church, where there was something (a TV) through which I learned that K and W had been on a stupid reality show and they were talking about the results and how their relationship had improved so greatly. They didn't appear as themselves, though, but as some kind of puppets or cartoon characters. I'm sure at least one was a lion.


Fragment: I got a negative feedback on eBay and was worried that no one would buy from my shop anymore.

Fragment 1: I was very pleased about some crystals I got that worked extremely well, with obvious results. I think I got them from Judy Hall (author of a few crystal books I own IWL).

Interestingly, I had placed a double-terminated quartz I had once dug up in Arkansas under my pillow after reading that those aid in dreaming, and ended up having more dream/fragment recall than ever. I've slept with various other crystals over the years to no effect. Hmm.

Fragment 2: I was cutting/texturizing the ends of my hair, not even looking into the mirror, just grabbing the ends and snipping little triangles.

Fragment 3: I found out that Merlin was going to continue. It wasn't even going to be a sequel picking up where the finale left off, but stuff that happened between Arthur's death and that shot of Merlin in present times.

Watched the season finale on Syfy last Friday and was very disappointed in it as well as about the series coming to an end.

Dream 1: I was at a place that was a cross between a warehouse, a grade school, and a thrift store (IDK!). I had to help organize stuff and was annoyed about it. There was a guy who seemed around my age who owned or ran the place. I also passed by some schoolgirls while carrying stuff.

Dream 2 (post WBTB): I was sharing a dorm or hotel room with two other girls. It seemed like a school setting, and I don't know where the other girls went, but I was preparing for my upcoming audition.

The place was really cluttered. Still, I thought I should hang up my coat in the wardrobe. On my way, I passed a closet and something inside it moved. I concluded that I was being haunted.

I stopped dead in my tracks because between the wardrobe and the closet I had just passed was a mirror. I've heard many stories throughout my life of people seeing scary figures -- or even looking demonic themselves -- when gazing into the mirror, so I was afraid. But I didn't want to let my fears get the best of me and I also remembered that finding a mirror in my dream and describing my reflection was one of the TOTMs, so I proceeded boldly.

I stopped to look into the mirror, except now it looked like a somewhat distorted 50s style television. At first I got kind of scared because there was something definitely wrong with my left eye. I looked closer and realized that it was swollen (though it didn't look like a real swollen eye would). I figured it was related to the discomfort I've been feeling there due to my recent migraine.

While I was not aware of dreaming in that last dream, my thought processes before looking in the "mirror" resembled my waking thoughts more than the majority of my dreams do. Usually when I make decisions in dreams, it doesn't involve a drawn-out and coherent thought process. The summoning of will and courage in a dream is also something I don't remember experiencing in a dream before. Then again, I was terrible at recall until this year and especially these past two weeks, so maybe I'm just not familiar enough with my dreams.

Also, that last dream is my first successful dream incubation Wish it had been a more pleasant experience, though.

Dream 1: I was at a party. I saw myself from behind, and I had some sort of spiral headdress made of diamonds. I was carrying a small steel suitcase with stolen jewels to sell to the (wealthy) people at this party. Then I remembered that Gab had also described a dream like this (not true) and felt like I was a dream copycat.

Dream 2: My dad left me at grandma's house (I think my dream self was a kid). I was aware that it was bigger/had more rooms than it should. I was anxiously looking for grandma (because I was scared?). Uncle T. was in one of the rooms I walked into, and he was angry that I had walked in without knocking. He was sitting at a computer, so I assumed he'd been looking at something naughty. (My dream self seemed my current again.)

Finally I found grandma. She'd been in bed, in the first room I'd checked. I just hadn't seen her.

Next I'm in the kitchen of grandma's house with some family members (not sure who.) My mom brought in two cakes, I assumed she wanted to buy one for a special occasion, and we were testing. I think I did something very clumsy with it, like cutting it wrong, and people were annoyed with me, so I decided to have ice cream. (Saw I messy looking cake at my cousin's IWL yesterday.)

Justin Timberlake was there (mentioned a movie he'd starred in to my sister IWL last night), and he'd just made some ice cream on a stick. It was huge, pink (don't know the flavor), and dipped in chocolate (and nuts?) I started to eat the ice cream over the sink and a large chunk of it broke off (had a similar issue IWL yesterday) and fell into the sink. I apologized to JT and he said it was okay.