Krista's Dream Journal

Dream - Lucid

I was "remembering" a time when I was in high school, and I had a blue origami parrot. It very much so seemed real; it would move, though it would make no noise. I showed it to my friends. I was super happy having this paper bird. When I took it home, though, I could not find a place for him. He needed a cage, but I didn't have one. I'm not sure what happened to him.

I'm not sure where I was, it was a building in my town, but I wanted another origami parrot. I called up one of my friends, maybe Rachel, and asked her if she wanted to come with me to get one. I "remembered" I had gotten it at Animal City, a pet store here in town, though I wasn't 100% positive. Rachel was then with me, and I told her we were going to Animal City. We walked out of whatever building we were in, and Animal City was right next door. We walked inside.

We walked around inside Animal City. We saw what looked like a very large brown cat with flecks of different shades of brown playing on a cat tower (one of those carpeted towers cats use to climb/scratch/perch). Many people were around it. I figured it was the store's current mascot (IWL they always have some sort of mascot animal). I, being the cat lady that I am, went over to the cat. I was super excited to see the cat. The cat then turned around, and its face looked alien. I had no idea what kind of animal it was supposed to be, but it definitely wasn't a cat!

I then continued my search for the origami bird. I then came across a woman who had a small, green origami parrot. This is what I'd been looking for! The bird was perched on the lady's shoulder. I started to speak with her about the origami bird. She said something about it having poetry written underneath its wings. She unfolded one to reveal it. I did it myself as well, and had trouble getting the paper to fold back properly. I wondered if my old origami parrot had had poetry underneath its wings also.

I then saw that the bird only moved when the lady moved its tail. It was like an IWL origame swan; when you move its tail, the wings move. But she would do it very subtly to make it look like the bird was moving on its own. I did not remember doing this when I had my origami parrot. Maybe my memory was deceiving me. At any rate, the paper bird moving on its own was definitely an illusion. I wanted to believe that it wasn't, but it definitely was.

I don't remember if I got to have the bird or not.

~

I was with Dallas at my old friend Kacey's place. She lived in a different town, as she does IWL. We were watching her do some dance performance with a dance team. It was some interpretive type of dance. I saw people that I knew in high school also dancing with them, one being Mary Lane, but her hair was waaaaay longer than I had ever seen it IWL. I saw someone else too, a blonde girl, but I couldn't place her name. I called her something that started with an R. Kacey's husband, Rick, was somehow also involved with this dance.

When they finished, I talked to Kacey about Mary Lane being there. I also talked about the other girl, the blonde with the R name. Two girls, identical twins, then approached me. They had grey and pink in their hair. One I had mistaken for the blonde girl I knew in high school. I then realized I was wrong about the name of the blonde girl; I had no idea who these twins were.

Everyone but Kacey and her husband cleared out. We were all visiting in their living room. A boy, a child of about 5 or 6 who was supposed to be Kacey's son (she only has a daughter by marriage from Rick IWL, none of her own) came up to us. He seemed like a happy child. I saw him smile up at me with his teeth.

Then, where her son had been, was this big white bathtub full of milk and...dry cat food (I've dreamed of a bowl of cat food and milk once before, though I did not write it down). It was behind the couch. There was way more milk than cat food; I only saw some scattered pieces floating around. In the middle of the bathtub was a black and white kitten, who was drinking the milk and eating the cat food. She seemed super happy (what cat wouldn't be?). I then thought about how milk isn't good for cats, and how they would probably have to clean up cat diarrhea later.

I then woke up, but went back to sleep into the same dream.

The cat in the tub was now gone, and I was talking to Kacey in the living room. Dallas then came up to me, and told me he had heard Rick say he was going to cheat on Kacey! Kacey had not heard him tell me this; I think that Dallas whispered it to me, or Kacey was out of earshot. I really debated on whether or not I should tell Kacey, but she is one of my best friends, even though we barely talk anymore, and I owe this information to her; she deserves to know so she can decide what to do about it.

I then told Kacey about what I had heard. She was aware of the problem; he went and cheated on her all the time, and didn't think she knew. I then told her that if she wanted out, she always had a place with me. I would take her in for as long as she needed. She wasn't sure what to do, but I feel like I kind of pushed her to leave him. She finally agreed, and started throwing some of her things together. On my part, I felt that I may had been somewhat impulsive, but I would, of course, take her in no matter what she needed. I didn't want her to feel pushed though. But that feeling quickly faded, because I was finally going to get Kacey out of her horrible situation.

I then thought about her son, and whether or not she should take him. I couldn't remember for sure if the son was hers or Rick's. I guess I decided it didn't matter. I saw her get some things together, careful not to let Rick hear her, and we got into my car to drive to my place. I thought about us staying at my old apartment with Cherie', my old roommate, but realized that I had just turned my keys in (true IWL), so I couldn't just go in there anymore. So instead, I drove her to my parent's house. I had not told my parents prior to this that I was taking her in, but my mom loves her, so I figured it would be alright, and it was for a good cause as well. I did need to tell my mom, though. I went into the living room while Kacey stayed in the kitchen. I saw my mom wrapped up in a blanket, asleep on the couch. She was sick with a cold or something. I woke her to tell her about Kacey. I don't remember what she said. BUt I then figured out that my dad was cheating on my mom too. Wtf.

I then thought about how Rick knew where my house was, and so we should probably relocate, because he would absolutely suspect that we were here.

Back in the kitchen, I saw Kacey helping to fix up some dinner. As she poured frozen green beans into a pan with the entree', chicken probably, I thought that she looked like an expert the way she was putting the food together with confidence. It had something to do with the way she was pouring the veggies; she just looked like she knew what she was doing.

I then realized that we had left Dallas. Whoops. We had to go back and get him. We drove back, hoping Rick didn't notice our absence. We got there to get Dallas, and Rick had a backpack on. A guy friend was waiting for him with a backpack. It looked as if they were going camping. Rick had not even noticed we were gone. He said he'd be back in two days. I knew he was going to cheat on Kacey when he was gone. Further, if he cared for her at all, he would have noticed she disappeared without warning for awhile. His mind was obviously preoccupied.

At some point being back at Kacey's, I saw a bunch of sweat pants. I wondered if Kacey wanted to grab those to take with her.

When Rick was gone, Kacey and I went into town to investigate. We came across this building that had signs on the front window. It said "Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!". It was a lounge for men to go to to cheat on their wives (subtle advertisement, right?). I forgot what it was called. There were men going inside.

We then went into the lounge. Since it was daytime, not too many people were there yet, thank goodness. There were lots of big, circular and half-circle couches there. We went up to the counter, and two young men were there. We spoke with them, though I can't remember what it was about. They were acting like we didn't know where we were, trying to hide it and not doing a very good job at it; they were smiling and surpressing laughter as they spoke with us. They said something to us along the lines of there was no man that stayed faithful; all men cheated. When we decided we would leave, they said
"Thanks for visiting the ____lounge, I mean room." As if room made it sound less shady.

There were bits where Kacey and I talked about Rick cheating, and how she would approach him about running away from him. I don't remember if this was done in the dream or not. I don't think it was. During this whole dream, though, I felt very close to Kacey, closer than I have in years. I missed that, and still do IWL.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, but my mom was working there too. She had been there longer than me. In fact, she was one of my bosses. We were getting a corporate visit that day, and everything had to be perfect.

When I got there, I was quickly told what to do by another boss, a woman. Then, I was left on my own without a clue as to what needed to get done. She had spoken so fast, I couldn't keep up, and I was still fairly new, so I didn't understand the priorities like they did.

I looked at all the projects around me, and started on one of them. I was making these animal models out of some kind of dough, like a sugar cookie dough, and putting them on a pan. There were bright, neon colored icings there as well. I did some normal cookies as well, because I was pretty sure that's what I needed to do. I "remembered" seeing animal cookies and regular ones before, at least I thought I did.

I did a few of those, but went on to do something else. There was some pink, Lego-like model of a castle that needed to be put together for display purposes, but I didn't think that was a priority since it wasn't edible.

I then had to go to lunch. I was with my friend Charles for lunch. We were in the break room, which was dark. When my hour was up, I realized I had forgotten to punch out for lunch. Shit. I couldn't think of what to do.

I was then back in the bakery, and my mom was there, freaking out, saying I should have done the Lego thing first, and that I wasn't supposed to make the dough into animals. I was supposed to make the dough into tight spirals with the frosting in it. I started to do that. I "remembered " that an old work friend, Shelley, had done the animals when she worked there. She had posted pics of her with them on Facebook. The animals were actually just a seasonal thing.

The corporate visitor then came, and was walking around with my mom, giving disapproving looks and saying things weren't right. Ugh. I knew I would be in trouble for it all, too.

When the visitor left, my mom came up to me, and I started to cry because I was so frustrated and upset. I was afraid I'd get fired. My mom was sitting down at a table and mocking me as I cried. She would copy me in a childish voice. That made me even more upset.

~

Again, I was at work, but it was a mixture between my current job at the bakery and my last job at Kohl's. I was in the bakery, but I felt like it was still Kohl's. I wondered why they had rehired me. I heard people talking about it, and they said it was because they really needed the help.

I was working on something with one of my current managers, Will. I worked with him the whole time. He was very positive and uplifting, unlike the last dream where my mom was freaking out and mocking me.

It was then close to the end of my shift. I needed to go get some new white note cards; I had just bought some, and they were all browning on the edges, as if they were old and dirty. I think I was going to do this with Mary Katherine. We had discussed that at the end of my shift, at 5:30, we would go.

I then was in a freezer at work, though it did not look at all like the freezer we have IWL. It was smaller, boxier. I went in and shut the door. It was cold, but so quiet; it was surprisingly peaceful in there, probably because when the door shuts, it locks and seals to keep any outside air out. I really liked it; it shut out all the noise. I had to go back out though.

I went back into the freezer soon after, and thought it would be a good idea to meditate in there. I shut the door and started to begin my thought process on meditation, but someone opened the door. I figured I probably didn't need to be in there meditating anyway since I was at work.

Then, I was done with my shift. Dallas had texted me to ask me if I wanted to meet up with him at 5:30. I couldn't, because I was meeting up with Mary Katherine. I can't remember whether or not I told him this, but I know I thought about doing so.

I was walking around a lobby area that looked more like Kohl's than the bakery. There were a few babies crawling around on the floor. I said hello to one, a red-headed baby boy. He said hello back to me. He didn't sound like a baby, but more like an older child. I knew this was a special child. I "remembered" him being there all the time. I said hello to a couple of other babies too.

I was then talking to my friend, Ashley. I was trying to explain something to her, a way I believed I think, and she countered me by saying I needed to adjust my views. She then referred to two other girls that were there. They were sisters. She said it was ok for them to think that way, because they had it hard when they were children, but it isn't ok for me to think that way because I didn't. One of the girls, a bigger girl with long, wavy dark hair who was working behind a counter, nodded in agreement. I saw the girls' mother there as well. It upset me a bit that Ashley had said that to me. I thought that maybe, in a way, she was right, though.

Then, I was outside sitting on a bench. It was nighttime. I feel like there may have been snow. Amy Z., the mother of one of my childhood friends, approached me with a baby, and said I needed to meet him. She held him up to me, and I said hello to the baby. He said hello back. She tried to give him to me, but I said
"I actually have to be somewhere." She took the baby away.

I was then with Ashley again, somewhere by the freezer. She was saying something to me about the freezer, something about making snowballs or snowmen out of the snow that would collect on the floor. I still had some feelings of anger towards her for what she had said to me. I thought about not replying to her when she spoke to me. I don't remember if I actually did or not.

Then, I saw some weird images that were supposed to be the freezer, but it looked like a 2D game of Tetris. There were different settings that could be turned on and off, and some went on a timer, like a deep freeze kind of thing that would cause it to snow inside the freezer by blowing frigid air. A drill came through the floor at one point, ending the game. Maybe it was on a time limit? There was a voice speaking about it, but I can't remember what it said.

Dream - Lucid

I was in an elementary school front office. I saw many women working there, and many working on computers in the back. I walked up to my mom, who was one of the women working on the computers. I "remembered" that this was her job now. She seemed content.

Then, a girl at the front desk gave Dallas and I some drinks that looked like orange and red Kool-Aid drinks that used to come in the bottles (Kool-Aid Jammers?). She had stolen them to give them to us for the movie we were going to see. Her boss, a woman, asked her if she had stolen them. She said no, even though she obviously did.

We were then leaving so we could get to the movie on time. This is around when I became lucid.

I spoke to my husband for a long time. We spoke of past lives, I discovered he was in many. I asked about my mom, and saw an image of her as I did. I knew she was in some past lives as well; I knew before I even asked. A random DC appeared that had traditional African clothing on. I asked if he was in a past life, but he disappeared; he was just a regular DC. I remember something about the name Mary; it wasn't a coincidence that the people in my life have the names they do. I thought of all the Marys I knew (Mary Katherine is my best friend IWL, for example; I thought about this at this point in the dream). Dallas and I were on a lake at night for part of this dream.

I then was walking through a mall. I felt the dream was about to end. Before I woke up, I saw many stores with signs lit by neon green lights. I felt like this is where the movie theater was located.

~

I was determined to return to this lucidity to meet up with my spirit guide and find out his true form. I kept falling back into sleep and immediately being lucid, but I would wake again very shortly; the dream was not stable enough.

Finally though, I re-entered sleep and stayed. I was lucid immediately; I felt SP and saw the dream forming. I waited a little bit before I went and did anything; I knew I had to stabalize first and foremost.

The dream finally felt good enough for me to continue. To increase the stability a bit more, I examined my hands, and thought about what Hyu said to me about using your senses to increase stability. I used my sense of touch. I was walking through my family's kitchen, and felt everything I came across. I touched the counters, etc. The sensation felt a bit "muted" but it really did help. I thought for sure the dream would fall apart before this.

I then was inside somewhere, walking down a wooden hallway, when I knew that I wanted to see my spirit guide. At first, I said
"Dream guide appear!" but realized my error and corrected myself to
"Spirit guide appear!"
I then saw a shadow behind me. I looked behind me, and saw what looked like a girl I knew growing up named Jess.
"Wow, this is tricky," he said, referring to taking on other forms.
It didn't matter; I knew it was him. He looked like Jess, but had the voice of a man.

I then started to feel as if I was losing the dream. I said to my guide
"Please! Keep me in the dream!"
He held onto me and things started to stabalize again. This happened a couple of times throughout the dream.

We were then walking into a restaurant. It resembled a Cracker Barrel. We sat down at a table with a couple at it. He said to them
"Excuse me, may we join you?"
The table had dirty dishes and food on some of the dishes. We sat with them. We were across the table from one another. We were speaking, and I asked him his name.
"Mike," he said. He then called me "Bethany".
"Was that my name?"
"Yes, you were very proud of me," he said. He was referring to a past life we had shared together.
I had brief thoughts that he was a musician of some sort.
"Mike, may I see your true form?" This was part of my goal for an LD.
He replied, saying something about the way he would look, but I can't remember exactly what he said.

We stood up. He then started to change. His head went down into his shirt; it was kind of comical. He then emerged, mostly, having his now tuxedo shirt and jacket part way over his head, which was partially stuck inside the shirt.
He was a homely, red-haired middle-aged man. He was tall and skinny. I then asked him
"May I see what I looked like?"
I was then looking in a mirror on the wall. The mirror was a bit high for me (I'm quite short, even IWL). He instructed me on how to change my reflection. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I waved my hand in front of my eyes. In the mirror, I saw my eyes change. I kept going, and my whole face changed. I saw that I was missing a tooth also. I was a homely, kind-looking middle-aged woman with thin, fine wispy hair. I kept going even after this, and my face morphed into a rat's face. Oops, too far. I said something about this to my guide, and he joked about the rat face.

We were then sitting down again, and speaking of something, when my husband's alarm woke me up.

~

Alright, well I didn't end up going back to sleep after all, but I did get a chance to think a little more on this.

Before I went to sleep, I thought about becoming lucid, about situations that could induce lucidity, etc. I imagined it happening as I was falling asleep.

Wow, intention is such a powerful thing! I did not become lucid until early this morning, but that is the norm for my lucidity.

I do believe that I am finally starting to see the power of my mind; I am finally being able to tap into things that I once thought I would never be able to do. I am finally, finally coming into my own, and being able to use my intent, and actually believe that it's going to work instead of having doubt tower over me. This feels legit. I am absolutely amazed.

Now, I need to figure out what to do next. I think that I just need to let things flow, and when I meet my guide in my dreams, I'll know who he is now, hopefully, and that in itself will induce lucidity. I really hope that this journey I am on continues. I will, of course, keep you all posted.

Dream - Lucid

I was either at Kohl's or my new job. I'm pretty sure it was Kohl's. A girl I worked with there, Whitney, had just broken up with her girlfriend/fiance', Candace. I thought that was strange, because I had seen on Facebook that they had just gotten engaged. It had been Whitney's decision to break it off, and Candace was sad.

I saw them walking around the store at different times. This happened for a good bit of the dream. I could sense Candace's sadness, and Whitney's sadness yet her sense of knowing that she did the right thing.

I was then in I guess what was supposed to be the break room, when Matthew, my friend Rachel's brother, asked his manager if he could talk to him in private (was definitely at my new job now). I knew Matthew was in trouble for something, but he was going to stand up for himself. The room in which they went to speak in private resembled a study room from my old college's library; it had windows where you could see into it, and a long table with chairs. I heard the manager yelling from outside. I looked in and saw him yelling. He then requested that Matthew step outside. He did, and stood outside the door against the wall as the manager yelled at his coworkers. I guess Matthew was not included in getting in trouble.

~

My mom and I, Andrew and Misty, and some other people whom I don't know IWL were all getting ready to go on a vacation to Florida. We were all in my family's garage, making final preparations. One of the people was on the phone, and hung up, saying that his wife and him just split up. Wow, they had just been fine, and now they were divorcing. In fact, she had been there with him. She had been standing there with a baseball cap on. The man was still there to go on vacation, though.

Then, we were all in my family's porch, which was our vehicle. One of the people there, a woman, had just been diagnosed as being a carrier of "fungal meningitis". Some people walked in with flesh-colored surgical face masks on. I considered this, thinking that this is something that I should have done. Then, some of my friends walked in, Rachel being one of them, and they had these weird face masks on that looked like they were taped to their faces with masking tape. They had a red piece in the middle, which went into their mouths. They used it to breathe through. It must have been some sort of filter. I hoped that I did not contract this lady's fungal meningitis.

Then, we were on the road in the porch. We hadn't gotten far when I realized I had forgotten my Kindle. I asked if we could go back for it, and we turned around.
"At least we haven't gotten very far," I said.

Then, I heard that Andrew and Misty got into a fight and may get a divorce, or something like that. At some point, I was thinking about their little girls. I then "remembered" someone, I think Misty, had had a miscarriage.

I was then sitting on the love seat that my family has in the porch IWL. Andrew had gotten us pizza to eat for the trip, but we had to ration in, because that is all we were getting for the long drive. I got up and got two slices, and sat back down. I wondered if it was ok for me to take two. A teenage boy then sat next to me. We talked, but I don't remember what we talked about.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, but it looked different. We were behind the counter. I was there with a couple of other people. There was one girl there who looked very tired. She had long, straight light brown hair and very tired eyes. She was probably about my age (25) or a bit younger. She needed a ride home from work. We got into my car. I was kind of tired too. The car was driving, but I noticed that I was sitting in the back seat with the tired eyed girl.
"I should probably be sitting in the front," I said to her. I stopped the car as we were going through this gate and got in the front seat.

Then, there was this lively old woman with us. She was quite energetic. She wanted us to drop her off on the side of the road so she could walk to her vehicle. We did just that. We got out though as well. We were walking on the sidewalk with this woman. She had a cane, but she wasn't using it. In fact, she started to jog! We couldn't keep up with her. We then were approaching her vehicle, or at least what we thought was her vehicle. It was a golf cart. It had a black bag with a big bow on it strapped over the seat. I thought she had been very trusting to leave that outside. Upon further examination, the golf cart had this HUGE control panel. It was so big, it took up the entire front window; you could not see out of it at all. I figured that maybe it drove itself. The old woman sat down in the seat, and was wondering how you worked it. I guess it hadn't been her vehicle, but a special vehicle that the public could use to get from place to place. There was a guy there that I assumed she was asking. We walked past her and the cart.

I dropped the tired girl off, but noticed something as I was driving. I noticed that the cart with the lady had not moved, but there were dead bodies strewn on the street by the car, about three or four of them. Holy crap, someone came and murdered them! I thought maybe a fight had broken out and gotten taken too far. I returned to the area where the cart was and saw what I had feared: The old woman was dead, along with a few others. I think I asked someone who was there if she was dead, and they said yes. I told them I had seen the scene from a distance. I started to cry.

Then, one of the people whom I thought was dead, a blonde guy who was probably in his twenties, opened his eyes. He looked like he was in so much pain. He said nothing, but his eyes told me everything. I was broken down crying now at this point, kneeling on the ground. I started to stroke the guy's knee to comfort him. I was so happy he was alive, but I still could not stop crying. It was then that I noticed that all the other people were literally torn apart; I saw someone's head detached from their body, an arm, and other torn apart body parts. The man with his eyes open in front of me was the only one who was not torn to shreds.

~

I was going to my friend Cherie's apartment. It was daytime outside and sunny. My husband may or may not have been with me, I can't quite remember. I think we had just gotten back from a vacation.

We got to the apartment. It was much different than IWL. It was more of a town home than an apartment, and was white and clean on the outside. There were many others that looked the exact same, as you would see in a town home community. I went inside, and Jeremiah and Cherie' were there in the living room. I went into the middle of the living room.

Then, I noticed Cortney D., a supervisor from my old job. She was standing behind the couch (at this point the apt looked a lot like my current one IWL). I "remembered" that she lived in the same complex as Cherie'. She had her hair pulled back into a small ponytail, and was wearing a black shirt with a colored shirt (can't remember the color) underneath; it looked like an outfit she would wear to work. I was excited to see her, because I always really liked her, but was afraid she would be mad at me because of the way I quit. I got her attention, and she said
"Krista." She walked up to me with a sense of urgency. She continued,
"Why did you do that?!"
I tried to explain to her how awful that job was, how bad I felt we were all treated there, but she kept countering me, asking me what did I expect, it's retail. She then stormed out. I was sad that she was angry, and I kept thinking of other things I should have said, but none would have made her feel differently. I didn't understand how she could continue to settle for such a crappy job.

Other things happened after this. I remember leaving the apartment, but nothing else.

~

I was driving to my old college's campus in a new car. It was a dark grey sedan, and very nice-looking. I felt weird and tired. It was morning. I don't know why I was going there. There was some kind of big event taking place.

I parked in a gravel lot, and walked over to where the buildings were. I sat down on a bench underneath an overhang. I noticed that lots of college kids were walking around dressed up like it was Halloween. I saw people in knight costumes, and I think some Mortal Kombat costumes as well. I did not know what was going on.

I then realized that they were in the marching band, and today was the day that the college hosted Contest of Champions, a high school marching competition, and that they always performed a show at intermission in their Halloween costumes (this is true IWL). All the college kids then started to dance with each other. It was like they were a flash mob; they all just seemingly spontaneously started to couple off and dance. I knew that they had planned it.

I got up to go back to my car. I went into the field where the cars were. There were many, many more now. I clicked my clicker on my keys, and some tail lights light up, so I figured I had found my car. But then, another man, an older, heavier black gentlemen, got in the driver's side. Whoa, I thought, there must be some mistake. I opened the trunk to the car, which was actually more like a minivan than a sedan. Not my car after all. I felt embarrassed for trying to get into another person's car, though he did not say a word to me about it. I kept walking.

I kept on clicking my clicker, and I noticed that when I did, other cars' headlights would flash. What the hell? How was I ever going to find my car now?

I then was at an impasse, literally. I had approached a fenced in area. The fence was wooden and old, and actually relatively short. The only way I could get to the other side of the fence was to open up the old wooden gate. I then called an old friend, Tori, and asked her about the car, because I knew that she had had a car like mine. She said that hers had done that too, unlocking other people's cars instead of hers. When I got off the phone with her, I went to go open the gate, but it was covered in spiderwebs! I could not get a hold on it without touching one. I saw the webs up close, and noticed that lots of ants had gotten caught in the web. I saw one get caught in it towards the top of the fence. Ugh. So gross...I hate spiders. So I looked all over the fence for a place I could touch it without getting web on my fingers, and there was none. I put my hand on it regardless, and immediately took it away again. I saw the holes in the web where my fingers had pierced it. I then briefly opened the gate, but I couldn't even go through it without walking into webs. It only opened on the bottom anyhow; I would have had to push to get it to open all the way. I considered climbing the fence. I don't remember if I ended up doing it or not, but I knew it was an unacceptable thing to do for some reason.

Then, I was in some sort of bakery/coffee shop on campus. The interior was all wooden, and since it was summer, there were only a couple of people there. I thought maybe it was closed for the summer. I then noticed the manager, a middle-aged woman, standing in the doorway talking with another woman who looked a bit younger. She was blonde with glasses. I thought to myself that the manager must have to be here every day, even during the summer when their hours were limited. The table I was sitting at was one with Eileen, a woman from my old job. She was a regular there. I think she was eating doughnut holes. She was talking to me about coming to that place every day for breakfast. I don't remember anything else from the conversation, but we talked a bit. I think I also ate a doughnut hole. It was glazed. I think they were homemade.

~

I was working on a project for a class at my apartment. I was working on it on the bed. It was supposed to be a circular cut out with whatever we liked to put in it in the center. I decided to do mine like a collage, with cutouts from magazines in it. I was going to put some pictures that I had of me, friends, and family on top of the magazine cutouts. I also was painting it. I had painted the edges of the circle green, but noticed I had gotten some paint on the sheets and on the pillowcases. Nothing I could do about it now, though. I painted some shades of blue on the inside as well, and noticed that I had made the top of the circle a light blue, and it gradually faded to a darker blue. It wasn't my intention, but I liked the way it looked.

I had made the inner circle separate from the outer. The outer was a cut out of some construction paper that I painted green. I made the entire inner circle, and put the outer circle around it to see if it had the correct measurements. It wasn't perfect, but absolutely workable. The outer circle was a little big or small at just one area, the bottom right corner. I knew it wasn't going to be a difficult fix. I think I asked my husband about how it looked. At this point, it kind of looked like a pokeball.

I kept thinking about the assignment, and wasn't sure if I was doing it right or not, but I didn't remember the teacher, who was the black man from my precious dream, saying anything too specific.

Someone else was then in the apartment, a girl who was also a student. I asked her something about the assignment, about the specifics. She wasn't sure either.

~

You might see my recall of last night and say "Damn, Krista, you must have gotten some good sleep to have all these dreams." That would be my first thought too, but I actually did not sleep well at all. I kept waking up every hour, and would have a lot of trouble going back to sleep. I know I dreamed way more than this too, but these are the only ones I remember. My husband also was having trouble sleeping, and he had a lot of vivid dreams as well. We made turkey burgers last night, and never have made them before. That's the only thing I can come up with for why neither of us could sleep, and we both had super vivid dreams.

Dream - Lucid

I was at Nick C's place, an ex of mine that IWL, I really hurt when I left him. I don't remember why I was there, but it had something to do with me playing the violin. Another person was there too. I could sense how upset Nick C was. He was frustrated and hurt. I was frustrated from the bad vibe in the room; him feeling bad was causing me to feel bad, too.

I was sitting at a cluttered kitchen table. I had brought the violin with me; I think it was Nick C's anyway. It needed to be re-strung; there were these new greenish strings sitting on it, just needing to be tightened into place. I think Nick C was going to do it, because I didn't know how.

I then "remembered" playing the violin in a rock band. At the time of the memory, I was still with Nick C. We were playing an indoor show. There was a crowd there listening. It had been my first time ever performing on the violin. Someone had come up to me and asked me to play louder because they couldn't hear me. Eventually, I gained more confidence and started to play more loudly. For my first time ever playing, I was actually doing a really good job.

Then, I came back to the present. I was too overwhelmed by the bad feelings, and had to leave. I said
"I'm leaving. I just can't be here anymore."
I considered taking the violin. I wasn't sure whether or not I should. I think Nick C said it was fine (despite the circumstances). I started to put it in its case. I threw something else in there as well, but I'm not sure. I'm also not sure how it all fit in the case, but it did. I couldn't play the violin, though, because of the strings not being attached.
I was close to the door, and was looking for my flip-flops. There were lots of shoes on the floor by the door. I finally found mine, a pair with a straw-like material on the foot with a black fabric outline around the edges (they actually resemble a pair I had when I was a teenager IWL). I slipped them on and went out the door.

I then was walking towards my car, which, in the dream, wasn't my car; it was an old, red car kind of like my husband's. I was walking through the yard to get to my car. Nick C was behind me. He said
"You know you're going to have to pay for putting me through all this, right?"
"Yes," I responded. I knew karma would balance things out eventually.

I then realized I wasn't holding my keys. No big deal, I thought, I'll just make them appear in my hand. I did just that, simply by thinking about my keys being in my hand.
The power of thought, I thought to myself.
I then sat in the driver's side, and Nick C got in and sat in the passenger's side. I then realized I also didn't have my purse. I did the same thing I did with my keys, and thought about it to make it appear.

~

I woke up around 5am to pee. I noticed a sound coming from the kitchen, and thought it was my coffee pot going off too early. I went to look, but it wasn't. I then went back to bed, and knew that this was a perfect opportunity for lucidity. I fell asleep after laying awake for a bit.

I was still working at Kohl's, though I don't know why, since I had quit and stopped showing up to work. I "remembered" my name still being on the schedule.

I wasn't at work though, I was with my husband, Dallas. We were at I guess what was supposed to be our place. We had ordered a game online, and it had come in the mail. I think it was a SNES game. I was opening the package, and the game had come with some skimpy hot pink and black Playboy pajamas, complete with bunny ears. It was like a bonus for buying the game. We were both excited. Free stuff rocks.

Then, I was waking up on a porch. It was very sunny; a beautiful morning. I wasn't quite sure where I was, though. I examined the view I had from the porch, and somewhere off to the east was a beach.

The beach triggered lucidity. I didn't even RC; I just knew. I then stood there for a second trying to remember my lucid goals. God dammit, I couldn't remember; it was like there was a block there. Not the first time that's happened, but I didn't want to waste the lucidity. I decided to go inside and get my husband. I hesitated before I opened the door, though; I did not want to lose this dream. I put my hand on the gold doorknob and went inside. I walked down the hallway, and felt the vividness fading a little. I rubbed my hands together, but it didn't really do much. I examined my hands instead, and it helped. I noticed one of my fingernails on my left hand looked as if it was sloppily painted with white nail polish.

I then saw my husband; his back was to me. I started to talk with him, and he faced me.
"This is a dream!" I said, as usual.
He didn't seem to believe me, and kept turning around and avoiding eye contact with me. I kept trying to convince him, but he just wouldn't hear it. Oh well, whatever. I decided to just go explore on my own.

I was then outside, walking through a lightly forested area with many pine trees. I noticed that Dallas had come along after all; he was behind me. I then decided to test my power of thought, and held my hands out to either side of me to fell the trees. I thought my intention to make them fall, and, behind me, as I passed them, I heard them creaking as they fell. Neat.

Then, we were on a paved road. I was barefoot; I could feel the hot pavement underneath my feet. There were children about, playing in the street. A car started to come. One little girl in a red dress with black polka dots was lagging behind the rest of the children, who were running to the side of the road for safety. I thought she was going to get hit, but she got sideswiped, and her clothing got caught on the side of the car. The car kept driving with this girl attached to the side of it.

We kept walking. I then decided to try to find my dream guide, which has, over the years, proved to be a futile search. I yelled
"Dream guide, if I have a dream guide, please appear!"
Nothing. Of course. As usual. I started to climb over this small grassy hill on the edge of the road to see if my guide was on the other side.
Nope.
Dallas then said
"Krista, it's not working."
I knew he was right; I have suspected for awhile now that I do not have a dream guide. I am, in fact, my own dream guide. It makes sense when I think about it. Not everyone has separate dream guides, after all.

We were then standing by some stairs. I was trying to think of something else I could do. All these children started to play around us, and I couldn't concentrate. One of them was the girl who got sideswiped by the car; I remember the dress.
"Go away!" I said. I needed to think. They all started to go down the stairs.
I then looked up at the sky, and noticed dark clouds coming in quickly. It was very vivid and beautiful, but I knew a storm was coming soon.

I then had an idea of what I wanted to do.
"Spirit guide, please appear!" I said more than this, but I can't remember specifically; this is the gist of what I said.
Dallas then immediately stepped in front of me.
"I am your spirit guide," he said. I was a little surprised. I then noticed that there were two Dallases there: The one standing in front of me who had spoken, who looked just like my husband, even down to his clothes, which were his IWL work clothes, and one standing off to the side, whose face looked slightly different from my husband's.
"What? Are you really my spirit guide?" I inquired.
Then, I noticed a huge, white cloud was coming down from the sky. It morphed into the shape of a hose vacuum cleaner. It sucked up a car. The car quickly went into it. I knew we were next, and that this was the end of the dream. The cloud laughed an evil laugh, and turned to us, and started to suck us up into its depths. We flew up into it, and I heard a weird noise as I was waking up.

~

I was up and about to type out my dreams on DV. I went to the computer. The desk was way smaller than IWL, but I didn't notice in the dream. It was in the corner, and I wanted to move it in front of the window. It had something to do with the seat and where it was positioned; I didn't want to hurt my back.

I got on DV, and noticed I had already typed my dreams up. I even had 4 comments. I looked at the comments, and one just said "coupon protected". Ugh, a bot. I checked my email, and there was something about it in my email.

~

YAY FINALLY SOME LUCIDITY!! So stoked, even though I again did not remember my goals. I didn't meditate yesterday, but I did get to sleep in a little today; I don't have to work until 9am as opposed to the 7am shifts I've been working. I do think that meditating the other day did help, though. It helps me to clear my mind and any debris that's collected.

I was quite intrigued by what happened when I asked to meet my spirit guide. This is going to need some further investigation for sure. God, this was the longest lucid I've had in ages. It was very vivid and clear. I am super giddy this morning!

Dream - Lucid

I had written two books, and was in the process of writing a third. I don't remember the genre of the first two. The third was a very graphic horror book, and much longer than the first two, even though it wasn't finished yet.

We were by a book shelf, but I feel like we were at a grocery store? Courtney S. was there with a few other people. She and some of the others had read the other two, and they really liked them. Courtney S. picked up the third one to read, and I took it from her; this was not a book I was going to release to the public. It was about some people being at sea and tragedies started to strike them, starting with one of the characters getting a cork stuck in her throat. It got way worse after that; there were sex scenes and gruesome accidents. It was a hardback book that had a red jacket with some sort of pattern on it. It looked like Christmas wrapping paper. It was wayyyy too big for the book. I tore some of the excess paper off the book. I had apparently made the book covers with a kit used to create them.

I had not worked on the horror book for quite some time. I started to read it myself, and get myself into the mood to write the book. Some of it was written out like a play, with the characters talking in turn, having their names precede their dialog. I could picture it as I was reading it; I saw the lady who got the cork stuck in her throat speaking with another lady. She foolishly had the cork in her mouth. The other lady was supposed to call 911 when the cork got lodged in her friend's throat. Then, there was a scene that I didn't finish reading, one about a guy I know IWL named Jeff B., and it was a sex scene between him and I. I imagined him with no shirt. He was very sculpted.

I felt strangely excited about reading and writing the book again, almost sexually so.

I then remember seeing a grocery store aisle by the check out counters.

~

I absolutely know I dreamed more last night, but no more recall. I did go to bed late, and am up early for work again.

I did my meditation yesterday. I like to meditate on my inner light and love. I always visit a monk in my meditations, and he helps to walk me through them. I cleansed my chakras, and let go of my anxieties and negative energy. It was definitely something I have been meaning (and needing) to do. Towards the end of it, I felt as if I was falling asleep, but I wasn't falling asleep; it was like I was falling into a very meditative state. My chest started to feel warm. I couldn't really feel my fingers touching the bed. I then saw a big purple blob in the middle of my vision, and heard a voice say
"I am afraid my child will come home."
I would liken this occurrence to the weird thoughts one has before falling asleep sometimes.
I then came out of the deep state, but was still in a somewhat meditative state. I meditated for about 20 minutes or so. Gonna try to do it again today after work, though I am afraid I might fall asleep instead...I am going to be wiped.

Dream - Lucid

Something about a roller coaster.

I told myself when I woke up from this one, I'd remember. I told myself to just remember "roller coaster". And now, that's literally all I can remember. -_-'

~

I was with some other people, though I couldn't say for sure who they were. We were taking shelter somewhere, though; America had been bombed by Britain. They had dropped a nuke on us.

Wherever it was that we were, there was a lot of radiation in an area of the room. Most of it was coming from this thing on the ceiling that we called a "generator". It had something to do with the bombings; it got moved during them, and absorbed a lot of radiation. It was this black and white metal thing that looked kind of like a moon rover. I remember getting close to it a few times, and being warned not to.

I want to say the room we were in had some sort of anti-gravitational property in it; I feel like when we would get close to the generator on the ceiling, we were floating to it.

Then, I was talking to my mom. She was telling me about something her and Windy, a woman I know from when I was in college, something about what they did during the bombing. I asked my mom about what Katie did.
"I mean crazy Katie," I said. I was referring to my old roommate from college.
I don't remember my mom's response.

I remember thinking about the exact area that had been bombed and wondering if the people immediately died on impact.

~

This dream took place post-bombing as well, but that was not the focus of the dream. It seemed that some time had passed after the initial bombing, maybe a few weeks.

I was outside somewhere, and I wanted to go do something. It had to do with my brother. I went to go speak with my doctor about this. It had something to do with my right foot; I wanted to tell her that something was wrong with it.

I put this giant black roller skate-type thing on my right foot. It was my brother's. I started to skate and walk to wherever it was that I was going. I entered a building, and into this room that looked like a lobby. It was spacious with lots of couches. I approached a lady sitting on one of the couches. She was my Doctor, Dr. B, but she looked kind of like a teacher I had in college, Dr. D. She was wearing a white lab coat over her clothing. She was also working on charts. I got her attention, and she looked up. I told her something about my right foot. She looked at me as I told her, but she seemed concerned, or like she thought that something else was wrong instead of the foot. I thought about how contradictory it was that I was telling her about a foot problem, and yet, I was wearing this giant roller skate on the affected foot. She then went on to tell me something.
"They're bruised," she said.
She was referring to the bottom of my rib cage on the right side. I "remembered" getting it x-rayed last time I was there. I guess the results were in.

I then had two of the big black roller skates instead of just one. They were made for skating on carpet. I skated around on the carpet inside for awhile, feeling how easy and effortless it was. I hadn't skated in years, so I thought it would be more difficult to get back into it.

I then was on the phone with someone, looking for this secret entrance to somewhere. It had been a place my brother liked and was very well-known at, but my brother was out of town with his fiance'. I feel like I was supposed to have a purpose for going to the secret place, like I was supposed to be trying to fix something that was wrong with me. The lady on the phone had asked me if such-and-such (can't remember what she asked me), and I said no. She had seemed slightly irritated, but hid it well, and continued to direct me.

I got off the phone afterwards, and I found the entrance somewhere in this rocky area, I think there may have been water there too. I had been there a couple of times before, but it had been years. You had to be very precise upon entering it though, or you'd go the wrong way. I slid down this smooth rock slide, but ended up in the wrong place. I had to go all the way back around and start over.

I remember being back where I started, and there were so many different ways you could go. The whole area was rocky, and it was like I was in the middle of a circle with my options all around me. The someone that I had been on the phone with then offered their help. It was a woman. I had to follow her. She was showing me a shortcut so I wouldn't have to go all the way back around. I followed her to the secret place. The shortcut she took should have seemed obvious to me, I thought. Duh. But I am not good with directions. -_-'

Anyway, so I was there, in the secret place. It was the skating rink I used to frequent as a child. I was skating on the skate floor. There were a few others there, mostly people who worked there. I skated by them, as they were all standing in the same area, close to the benches on the side of the skate floor. I was then asked about my brother, about if he wanted something, or wanted me to have this something, I don't remember for sure, or what the something was. Not entirely sure I knew what the something was when I was in the dream either. I told them I didn't know. They were going to send Kasey Kasem to ask; they knew my brother loved Kasey Kasem. I told them that he was out of town with his fiance'. So they had Kasey call him instead. I heard him talking on the phone, but I did not see him.
"Hi, this is Kasey Kasem," he started, as he so often did on the radio.
He started to ask my brother what he wanted to ask him.

I saw my brother sitting at a table at a restaurant with his fiance', talking on the phone.

I then wondered if this was a different Kasey Kasem, since the real one died. I thought maybe there was someone that worked at the rink that went by that name.

~

The Kasey Kasem thing could have easily been a lucid trigger. Gah. Oh well.

I think I'm going to try getting back into meditation, if I can discipline myself enough to stick with it. That really seems to help my LDs, while also making me feel better all around. I'll see what I can do. I can easily take 30 minutes out of my day to do it. Just gotta stay focused.

*EDIT*

Just remembered a fragment.

I was handling a few small birds. They looked like finches.



As one jumped on my finger, I felt its small talons digging into my finger. I expected this. It was alright, though; I was caring for the birds.

Dream - Lucid

I was back in time, sometime in my past, though I was still the age I am now. I was at an elementary school. I feel like I was in a group in a classroom.

Then, I was outside the school on a sunny day with this girl of about 9 or 10. She was my friend, but I knew that she would soon just stop talking to me with no explanation as to why (this happened IWL a few years ago with a guy I had become good friends with). We were wearing two-piece bathing suits, or at least I was. I was peeing into the stream of water from this garden hose, and it was turning my pee rainbow. It smelled like piss. I feel like the pissing in the hose stream had something to do with why the girl would eventually stop talking to me.

~

I was with my old friend Bret. He had gotten me this really long, white pipe that had like 4 huge bowls on it that stuck out from the sides. I had it stored away somewhere. It was full of weed in each bowl, but the weed looked like salad with chopped up tomatoes or red bell peppers in it. I saw it in the hiding place we had for it in my apartment.

I was then somewhere else, not sure where though. I want to say I was at the grocery store. I was afraid Bret was going to go smoke all the weed and not save any for me. I had heard him talking about smoking out of that pipe to someone. I was upset, because I wanted to smoke all the weed. I remember saying something to him about it at some point. I was thinking to myself also that I did not have any weed other than the weed in the giant bowls in that pipe, and I didn't know where I could get more; I always hated trying to find weed. I was anxious to get back home to protect and smoke my weed.

I was walking up the stairs to my apartment at some point. It was during the daytime.

~

I was at my old job talking to my friend Kristin who still works there. I figured out she was no longer dating David, but was together with one of my exes, Austin. Interesting.

I then saw Kristin carrying a baby. I knew it was her and David's. It was a girl, barely older than a newborn; she was quite tiny, even for being a baby. Maybe she was a premature baby. I kept looking at her, trying to see if she looked mixed, since David is black and Kristin is white, but she just looked white to me. She was wearing a light blue headband with a bow on it. I saw her looking at Kristin, and she winked. I knew that both of her parents winked, so she probably picked it up from them. The wink looked very intentional, and did not match her baby face, however; it looked so adult-like. She then looked at me and winked. Again, it didn't fit the child's face. She then winked again, this time with her other eye, and then again with another eye around where her nose would usually be. That's when I noticed that she had three eyes.

I was then with Austin and Kristin inside somewhere. I feel like it had something to do with cars. They seemed happy. I remembered Kristin telling me how happy she had been with David, how she had told me once that she was "on cloud nine" (she did say this to me IWL). I wondered what had happened in the short amount of time I had been gone. Either Kristin or Austin then had to leave, I think Austin. I said something to someone else, Cherie' maybe, about Kristin and Austin fucking.
"Of course they've fucked," she said back to me.
I wondered how much she liked his big dick.

~

Tried to do some MILD mantras last night as I was falling asleep ("I will become lucid"). Fell asleep doing them. No dice. Up quite early today for work, earlier than usual. I am glad to see last night's dreams weren't totally uninteresting. Hoping for lucidity again soon. Maybe on a morning when I can sleep in a little. Just gotta keep trying.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching this girl from my old job, Chelsea, get swept away and killed in this river current that she was sent out into by someone, maybe our old boss, but I'm not positive. It was in a jungle-type setting. She was sent on some mission that was doomed from the beginning. I think a lot of people were sent on this same mission before, and no one came out alive. I feel like I was a passive observer in this dream.

~

I was in the neighborhood I grew up in. It was very small and fairly new, like when I moved into it in 1995. I remember saying something about how it was a new neighborhood. I ran down a street that ended because it hadn't been built up to where it is now yet (IWL the part that ended in the dream actually did not end even then when the neighborhood was new).

Then, I was waiting on my brother, Blake, and his fiance', Sarah, to get back from being out to eat. They were at a restaurant somewhere. I remember texting them. I was getting impatient, because whenever they finished eating, Dallas and I could go eat.

I guess they were finally done and heading home, because Dallas and I were then at a restaurant. The lights were off, however. I remember thinking that they were closed. Wherever we ended up going, we ended up there for a long time. I think my mom was getting worried about us. I remember being at the restaurant, and having this huge pan of dinner roll dough that was left over. We were going to take it home, but we had some loose extra roll dough as well. The pan was covered in ceran-wrap, and was quite full. I peeled back the wrap to stick some of the dough on the ends. I got one piece of the dough on there successfully, but it didn't look attached. I then said we needed to let the waitress do it.

Finally, we were heading home.

~

I was with Dallas at some store. My friend Leigh worked there. We were going to buy this huge rolling rack that resembled the ones we use at work to put multiple pans of baked good in the oven. We were checking out with her.

She then offered that we have some kind of internet service with them. The rack had something to do with the internet? And to have service with them, they would fill it up with these things that resembled white plastic or dough that would get a slit cut down the middle? Yeah, idk. Anyway, the offer was really good, so we agreed to it. They started to put the things on the rack.

Then, I thought about it a little. This company used to do that and let the wireless network be open free of charge, but now, I didn't think they did unless you paid a lot more. I asked about it, and Leigh said we would have to pay extra to open up the network. I pictured a screen of lots of different servers opened up to play a multiplayer game online. We would not have that unless we paid a lot of extra money. I wasn't too terribly upset about not being able to open servers, but Dallas was. He didn't want it like that, he wanted it all for the price they were offering. He was arguing it.

Dream - Lucid

I was inside some building at night. I don't know for sure what it was, but I was inside a bathroom in this building. Inside the bathroom was me, a police officer or some kind of law enforcement officer, and Doug Funny, who was the criminal. It was like he was trying to escape. He had a mean, angry look on his face, and had blood on his shirt. I remember the police saying something to him. They left me with him so I could detain him.

Instead of detaining him, I spoke with him calmly. I looked for the wounds that were causing him to bleed, and saw two areas that looked like a bunch of raised blisters, one of the back of his head, and one on his stomach, but the one on his stomach was just a bunch of nutshells. I brushed off the nutshells. I told him I would bandage up the back of his head. He asked me to wrap some gauze around it. I told him I would.
"Let me go look in the first aid kit," I said.

I looked for the first aid kit, and couldn't find it.

I then was in a room in the same building that had some long cafeteria tables in it. There were a few people at the tables eating, one being one of my managers from my old job, Laura. I think Doug Funny was also sitting there. I was worried that he would get in trouble for being there. I sat at a table that had someone else at it, but I sat alone. I was looking at my phone; I knew the sun would be up soon (I think this was bleeding in from having to be up early for work this morning). I remember talking to Laura at some point.

I then went looking for another bathroom, because I had to go. I found two bathrooms, and instead of being marked "Men's" and "Women's", they were marked "Physical" and "Spiritual". I knew it was referring to physical families and spiritual families, and it had something to do with the Muslim faith. I went inside the one that said spiritual. Inside, there were these huge, luxurious stalls. I went into one that was close to the back. No one else was in there, but I felt more comfortable there. I sat on the toilet, and an oriental woman came up to me and started setting up this station for a foot massage. I quickly told her
"No thank you, I don't need a foot massage!"
She promptly left. I didn't want a foot massage while I was pooping.

I remember having flesh-colored feces in a plastic Ziplock bag. I had to hold them in place while I tried to go to the bathroom? Didn't really understand this part too well.

Then, as I was leaving the bathroom, I ran into a young Middle Eastern couple, maybe in their 30's or so. The man started to speak with me about Muslim spiritual families, using all these terms that I did not understand. His wife then said
"Honey, she has no idea what you're talking about."

~

I know I had a dream before this one, but again, insomnia kicked my ass for half the night. Getting pretty fed up with this sleeplessness stuff. I guess I was spoiled for awhile and was getting plenty of sleep. Now, I just can't seem to catch more than a few hours. Bleh.

Dream - Lucid

I was on the computer in the living room of our apartment. It was nighttime and extremely dark in the room, save from the light of the computer. I was showing my husband a YouTube video that had a song playing in the background. The song had something to do with poverty (I was reading something about poverty before I went to bed). I had a feeling my husband was annoyed because I was making him watch the video. The screen on the computer then went black. I had a general feeling of unease. I clicked something and it came back up on a different screen. I then clicked the YouTube tab that the video was open in, but it went black again. Now, the room was even darker.

Then, I was sitting on the floor, and my husband on the couch. I was sitting right below him; I could see his legs. The feeling of unease was worse now. It was so dark...and something just didn't feel right. I could still sense the annoyance of my husband too. I was scared to look at his face, thinking the face of the devil would flash in front of my eyes instead of his. I climbed up onto the couch with him. I had my sleeping mask on now? I was "sensing" what he looked like without looking at him with my eyes. I could "see" his body, but when it got to his face, it was like I had heat vision, and it looked red. I couldn't see any details of his face. I then bravely took off my sleeping mask.
"Dallas?" I said. I slowly looked towards his face.

I did not see anything scary, but the feeling of unease came to a climax. I partially realized I was dreaming, and started to scream, trying to wake myself up. I then heard this terrible noise; the best way I can describe it is screeching, but that isn't accurate. It didn't sound like anything I've ever heard before. It was horrible and unearthly. I struggled trying to move my limbs as the dream faded to black; I wanted to wake the fuck up.

I then woke up and was wide awake for awhile. I was only asleep for about 15-20 minutes for this nightmare.

~

I was with this guy I "dated" when I was 11 years old (IWL he is gay now). I was with him, but I realized I couldn't be with him. So I had to break his heart, and he was very sad. He looked different too; he had blonde hair and a different looking face in the dream than in IWL, though I knew it was the same person.

~

I was playing a video game. It was like Mario 64 but with something else in it. I was trying to beat Bowser, but the fight was a multi-stage fight that if you died on the last stage of, you'd have to start over again. I had played this boss many times trying to beat it, but I kept dying. Then, I figured out something about the fireballs coming out of the lava around the platforms, and when I would do a certain move with them, Bowser would get hit twice. There were two bosses here as well, not just Bowser. I remember pausing the game at some point.

This dream was quite long, but the rest of the details evade me.

~

My husband and I were shopping at Kohl's. We had split up to pick some things out. A lady then was going through our things and adding up the prices, but not at the cash register. Dallas had gotten lots of things, like peach-colored women's nightgowns, men's and women's shorts, and men's pants. We were racking up a bill of $555 before we were done going through everything, so I had to lay down the law and decide what we needed and what we didn't need. We didn't need the nightgowns, nor did I need new shorts, but he definitely did, so we held onto those. He had also picked out some nice short-sleeved button-ups that didn't look like anything he'd actually wear, but he said he needed them. I kept some jeans too that he wanted, and asked if they were size 32. He said no, they were 36x30. I asked if they fit better, and he said yes, so much better.

I then saw that Dallas was dressed in one of the nightgowns. I was having trouble discerning whether or not the nightgown was supposed to be for a man or woman, though, looking back, it was obviously a woman's nightgown. He was being silly, making the nightgown sway at the bottom.

~

Yeah, another mostly sleepless night. I was dog-tired last night too; I stayed over at work to help out because there was a call out, and we were very busy. Also, the night before I didn't get much sleep, so I thought for sure I would tonight. Guess again. Ugh, body, you are not cooperating with my brain. I want to have more LDs! Can't do that if I can't sleep.

But I suppose I should be more patient about it. This happens to me from time to time, especially during times of stress. Things will calm down again soon, and I will have more LDs. Hopefully will be able to accomplish some of my goals as well, such as more dream sharing, and delving into past lives. Can't wait to tell you guys about these things when they happen!

Dream - Lucid

I was at my old apartment, and a younger guy was living there. He looked to be about 20 or so, and had long, very curly dirty blonde hair. He was talking about how small the beds were at the apartment, and I agreed with him, telling him that I had to sleep on a pull-out couch, and Courtney C. had to scoot two beds together. I also told him that I got my own room to sleep in, while she had to sleep elsewhere in the apartment, even though she had her own room.

I then remember having to work. It was supposed to be at where I'm currently working, but I was having to greet people as they were entering this bungee jump ride. It was kind of like a video game at this point; it makes me think of Animal Crossing. Some of the people looked like they were made in that art style. Anyway, to greet them, I had to "click"on them, and they would say "Thank you!" in a little voice. It took me awhile to figure out how to greet them. Being greeted made them happy, and gave me points.

I then went back to my old apartment to sleep. I had to get up again in 4 hours to go back to work and work another 4 hours doing something else. When I walked in, the curly guy was in the living room fixing something. I thought that he was lucky that he didn't have to work a split shift. I went and took my Ambien to go to sleep, and laid down in the bed.

Then, I woke up for work again. I couldn't remember what my task that night was. I was thinking customer service, but that didn't seem right. I got there, and then remembered: I needed to go to the hospital. It was my due date for my baby. So I went there, which it just so happened to be where work was, and went into this room that had a hospital exam table, a hospital bed, a TV that had the news turned on, and 3 or so other pregnant women sitting in it. It was a kind of holding area for pregnant women who may go into labor. My mom was there with me. Apparently, I wasn't actually due for another two weeks and was having signs of early labor, so they wanted to monitor me. If I showed signs of labor, they would have to do an emergency C-section.

Then, it was just me and the pregnant women in the room. I was wondering if it would be alright for them to give me pain medicine even though I'd already had an ambien 4 hours prior. I laid down on the bed and watched the TV a little bit. I also remember seeing my reflection in something at some point, and thinking to myself that I didn't look pregnant, and I hadn't looked it when I had my daughter a few years ago either. I wondered what happened to her; my mom had adopted her, but I hadn't heard about her in awhile. I figured my mom had adopted her out to another family. I thought to myself that I should remember what happened to my daughter.

Then, I started to feel something dripping down my leg. I looked and saw a bit of blood. I then had the urge to lay down on my back and start pushing; I felt a twinge in my belly urging me to do so. So I started to lay on my back, and thought to myself
I was so glad that she shared her pain pills with me.
It sounded like I was narrating what was happening to me. I'm not sure who gave me pain pills or when, I just know it was one of the expectant mothers in the room.
I then felt the pain pills; I felt woozy and high, but no pain. The nurses rushed in and said they were going to put me under for the C-section. I said something back, but I don't remember what. They said it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't remember. They put the mask to my face to put me out, and I breathed it in a few times. I was then out like a light.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the room again, but things had calmed down. I got up out of the bed, even though I knew I probably wasn't supposed to. I was careful not to exert myself too much since I had just had a C-section. I held the area on my tummy where the stitches were. The room was empty now; I was alone in it. I wanted to know where my baby was, if it was a boy or girl, if it was even alive...

The doctor eventually came in to talk to me. They said that the baby was alive, it was a boy, but they had to amputate one of his legs.
"Was the cord wrapped around it?" I asked, thinking for sure that was what it had to be.
"No, it was because of a birth factor," said the doctor.
He then explained birth factors to me, and they run on a sliding scale back and forth, and whatever the factor is on when the birth happens determines if the baby has anything wrong with them or not. My birth factor had been high, while a low one would have also been bad. It was ideally supposed to be in the middle.

The fact that my child had a severed leg made me remember all the dreams I've had about having to get a leg or foot amputated, or about seeing people with prosthetic limbs (IWL this actually is a very common dream theme for me, though it hasn't been lately until last night). I then wondered if it was the Ambien that I had taken all throughout my pregnancy that caused this.

Anyway, I was so glad that my baby was alive, despite the leg. I knew I would love him just the same, and raise him like he did not have a defect. I walked into the nursery to see him. He was in a chamber at the very end of the room that had caution tape taped around the inside of it. Below the chamber was a bucket with two severed legs in it, although my child had only had one amputated. They almost looked like baby doll legs. There was a little blood. I wondered if that was just the holding chamber for severed legs.

I then was back in the holding area, and my husband came in. He was excited that I had had the baby! He asked if it was a boy or girl, and I said boy. His face lit up, and he got really excited. I had never seen him so excited about anything! I then told him about the leg. It seemed to slightly temper his excitement, but he was, like me, just glad the baby was ok. I imagined holding the baby, and putting him on my shoulders to play with him. I wondered if it would be different to do so because he had one leg.

I was then shopping with my mom at Kohl's for some baby supplies. I knew I needed bottles, so I went and found a package of three colored bottles that had Disney character head cut-outs at the nipple. I saw Mickey and Donald, but noticed that the third bottle was missing. I then picked up the package, and noticed that the Donald bottle had water in it. I told my mom that I had wanted to get those, but not if they had been used and were missing a bottle. I didn't see any more, either; it appeared to be the last one.

Wow, this dream was so vivid. Again, barely any sleep, but when I did sleep, holy crap. Definitely a memorable dream.

Dream - Lucid


I was in a school, a college. I was trying to pick out a class to get me to 18 credit hours to complete my major. I was filling out a paper, but it was like the paper was also a computer. I needed to choose one of these medical classes that I really was interested in taking, and the course numbers were 96, 98, and 99. I saw one, and then it disappeared. I could not find them anymore on the paper; they had already filled up. The only course numbers I was seeing were numbers in the 60's and I remember seeing 89. Those were not courses I wanted to take, however. I was frustrated. I wouldn't be able to take them until they were offered again the next fall.

I was trying to fill in the credit hours so I could stay a full-time student, so I signed up for a music class with my husband. I sat down in this single arch of chairs in front of the conductor's podium. It wasn't in a classroom; it seemed to be open to the whole building. In fact, the whole building seemed to be set up this way. At any rate, I noticed the band was all reed instruments, which was fine, because I play the bass clarinet. I remember seeing people with saxophones and bassoons. It was also a very small band. I sat down somewhere towards the right on the arch. The band instructor stepped up to the podium. She was a shorter black woman with lighter skin with reddish hair. It was actually difficult to tell if she was black or white. She seemed like a hardass; she never cracked a smile as she addressed the class. I was nervous too; this seemed like a class full of musical experts, and I had not played my bass clarinet in years. She wanted us to get right down to playing, and singled me out, since I seemed to be the only bass clarinet, telling me to play. I told her I could not play that day because I didn't have a reed, but I would get one for the next time. She said
"Get out of my classroom."
I guess she really didn't like that I wasn't prepared for class. I got up and left, angry and a little embarrassed. I wasn't going to come back either.

I talked to my husband later in the dream about the class, about the instructor. I remember also seeing the small reed band practicing as the instructor instructed them.

~

I was working at Target, setting up some summer set in one of the departments. I was a new employee there. I think it was the accessories department. I was unloading boxes and putting things on the shelves. I felt like there wasn't much rhyme or reason to it, but they had not given me any. I kind of had the freedom to put them where I saw fit. I can't recall exactly what items I was putting out.

I then had to go take some empty totes to the back, and had to ask someone where the back was and what to do with the empty plastic totes. I had the empty totes on a cart, and rolled the cart behind me as I followed the person to the back room. It was a large back room; I remember seeing a dumpster, and someone throwing boxes into it. I don't remember what this person told me to do with the totes, but she was pointing out where things were back there.

I was then back out on the floor in the accessories department. I had to go find something for the display that I didn't have on me. I went walking around, searching for these items. I encountered a room that had flowers floating in tubs of ice water. They were pretty white flowers, and looked healthy. I knew they were in the ice water because it was so hot and the water needed to stay cold for the flowers.

The dream then shifted as I was searching, an absolutely seamless dream shift. I was walking around, looking for something, a job that I enjoyed. I was transitioning into these random areas, one I remember being a movie theater. I remember then seeing a girl sitting on what appeared to be my parents' bed in the house I grew up in. She was blonde, but her head was shaved. She looked quite androgynous, almost like a girl I knew at my old job IWL, though the girl at my old job had red shaved hair. I got this jealous feeling about her.

I then encountered Jake. We were then looking around together for something we enjoyed doing. We then walked onto a beach. It was a sunny day. We went out into the ocean, which was so calm that there were no waves at all, and noticed these men swimming in this formation around some kind of float in a deeper part. Their formation was perfect; think synchronized swimming. Looking closer at the men, I noticed that they were all super buff and muscular. We asked what they were doing, and they said they were some kind of coast guard or beach guard, though those weren't the words they used; I can't remember exactly what they said. But Jake joined in with them; he really wanted to be a part of it. They seemed like they were glad to have him, even though he was not buff and muscular; they were very accepting and happy. I noticed the androgynous girl was with him too. I knew they were good friends, maybe even lovers. That is why I got the jealous feeling about her when I saw her.

I did not want to participate, and started to swim back to shore. I watched them swimming with the men, and noticed that they were not perfectly in sync with them, but it would, of course, take practice to get as good as they were.

I then started to walk somewhere else. I was on a paved walkway that was shaded by trees. Looking back on it now, it was kind of like in the area that the Renaissance Fair is in every year here. There were many people about.

I then noticed a very fluffy cat; her fur was a creamy, very light tan color, almost with a pinkish hue to it. She looked scraggly and dirty. I noticed she had clumps in her fur too. Poor baby! She was a stray! A couple of people said something about her, and I said
"Well if she isn't anyone's, I'm going to take her in!"
I didn't think twice about it; the kitty needed a home, and I was going to take her. I named her immediately, calling her Annabel Lee after the poem by Edgar Allen Poe. I pet her scraggly fur after that at some point.

I remember her being in a warehouse-type area with me after that.

Dream - Lucid


I was with my husband at what was supposed to be the house he grew up in. The house was small with wooden floors. His family was there; we were visiting them for the holidays.

I was in his room with him, and I saw this HUGE black and white spider sitting on the air vent on the floor. So unsettling...I hate spiders so much. I don't think I said anything about it to my husband, but I was super freaked.

Then, there was this other giant spider, but this one was red and black. It was chasing my foot wherever I moved it. I was panicking. It opened its mouth and hissed at me. I somehow deduced that this spider was poisonous because of this. I moved further away from it. There was another giant spider there at this point as well.

I then was laying in my husband's childhood bed with him. It was nighttime, and quite dark in the room. I was laying there with my eyes opened because I couldn't sleep due to the damn spiders. I made up my mind that I couldn't be laying in that bed with all the spiders lurking about. I told him that.

There was more to this dream, but I cannot remember.

~

I was going to spend the holidays with mine and my husband's family, though not all at the same time. We would be with my family one day, like on Christmas Eve, and his on Christmas Day. I remember being in the kitchen at the house I grew up in and reading a text or a note on paper about this. It was from my mother-in-law.

Then, my friend Cherie' said her dad (never met him IWL) said my husband better see him for the holidays. I was concerned that he wouldn't make it to my family's in time if he did that.

The next thing I remember is being in our apartment. We were in the living room, and Cherie's dad, who, in my dream, was a short, fat man, maybe Cherie', and my friend Ashley's brother's wife came in. Ashley's brother may have been there as well.

Some of them sat down on our couch. Cherie's dad and Cherie' started to play fight. One had been on the couch, and the other on the floor.

Then, I was designing some tube-like roller-coaster ride with Courtney S. It was indoors, and would take you in a flume in the water through this small opening. It looked as if adults could not ride because the opening was so short. Then, you would ride in this rainbow tube really fast; you would ride what you designed. It was kind of like CyberSpace Mountain at Disney Quest in Downtown Disney.

I designed one for Courtney and I to ride. I remember putting in lots of drops and sharp turns and a couple of loops at the end. We went to go ride it. We were sitting in the flume, and Courtney was sitting in front of me. She was wearing a white shirt. I was surprised she fit through the short opening, because she is very tall. Before we could enter the tube, I fell out of the flume into the water. I somehow got back in, but I'm not sure how. The ride was very fun and wild, though I think I only got to ride the last part of it since I had fallen out before.

Then, Courtney designed a ride. For some reason, I couldn't be there. I'm not sure where I was, but I saw this flash of a long poem. Courtney had written it. It was about how much she loved me (not in a romantic way, but in an unconditional way). Though I didn't get a chance to really read the words, I intuitively knew that that's what it was. Cherie' then told me that the ride Courtney had designed was an expression of her love for me. I knew inside that she was not upset that I wasn't there for the ride. She understood.

~

I don't remember where I was, but it was very realistic. Something seemed weird, though I can't remember what it was exactly, so I did a finger count RC. I looked down at my left hand, and could immediately tell I had too many fingers. I counted just to make sure, and got six.

Holy crap! I'm dreaming! I honestly didn't expect the RC to work; I thought it was real life!

I remembered my goals quite clearly, and really wanted to try to dream share again, but I did not feel that I was in a deep enough sleep to do it (will explain more about this at the end). Instead, I approached some DCs and asked them some questions, and of course, had to tell them that we were in a lucid dream.

Then, something about my wedding photographer, Rachel. She was coaching me with something, though she wasn't supposed to be. I can't remember what it was though! I was in a room with her.

I woke up and went back to sleep.

I was still lucid, and Rachel had gotten moved to another location. I found her. More coaching. I remember flying or floating at some point. I thought about it too hard at first and it failed, then remembered I could just think about it and it would be so. And so I just thought about it without focusing too hard, and I floated up.

Woke up, went back to sleep. I would say I was semi-lucid for the rest of the dream.

They had again moved Rachel, but this time, I had to get caught with her the first time I went in. It was very video game-esque. I had to go into this temple, or pyramid. It reminded me of Ancient Egypt. There was water flowing in the opening I entered, and light was then coming through a small opening where the water was falling into the pyramid. I knew that was where Rachel was, but she was with someone else, someone who did not want me there. I do not even think that this someone was human. What I had to do was go through the opening, get caught and thrown out, and then have to find a new way in because the original way would get blocked off. The lights would also be out; I would have to do it in darkness.

I then was having to load up these dirty dishes onto this conveyor belt that took them up into an incinerator. I'm pretty sure I was naked? Anyway, I would have to run up some stairs to grab all the dishes that were empty or unused, and take them off the belt and put them somewhere else to be recycled. I was explaining this process to someone. I then loaded the dishes on the belt, checking first to see if they were empty so I could remember which ones were and weren't when I got up the stairs. I loaded a bunch, then raced up the stairs. The belt was moving too fast for me to save every dish, and I could not focus on seeing which ones were dirty and which ones weren't. I pushed a button to bring the last dish put into the incinerator back out. I put that one aside for recycling.

Then, when I woke up again, I stayed awake. I felt rested, so did not try to push any more sleep; when I do this, I wake up with a headache, especially after lucidity.

~

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier about dream sharing and deep sleep: I have found that when I wake up in the morning after a pretty decent amount of sleep during the night, I am more likely to become lucid from being awake for a little while; it stimulates my brain, and I am able to become lucid much more easily. However, there is a catch: I cannot hold the dream for as long as I would be able to if the dream occurred during the sleep I get at night when I am the most exhausted. When I become lucid during the night, I have much longer lucids and can perform more tasks, such as dream sharing, for example, though I have only dream shared a handful of times. At any rate, the dream quality is better, and I am less likely to wake prematurely. When I attempt things like this during the morning after I have already gotten plenty of sleep, it fails or I wake up. Usually both. So I decided not to attempt it this morning, because I knew I would wake up, and, of course, my morning lucidity was peppered with awakenings. It happens a lot for me in the mornings, but, like I said, this does not usually occur during the night, though I am less likely to become lucid during my nighttime dreams. I am hoping that I can find a way to improve this. I may try the WBTB method during the night, but when I wake up during the night, many times I have difficulty going back to sleep. If anyone has any advice, let me know.