dream fragment

July 1st, 2:51

Yesterday I have dreamed about a cloud. A cloud that was black and thick, and looked like it was about to explode with water. I heard rain, yet I did not see any water from that cloud. The whole sky was clear, except for that just black cloud. I could sense I was in a house I was before, but not sure which one. I could hear the roof getting wet, but still no rain. This dream made me very depressed, so depressed I almost cried. I woke up at day feeling like shit, like there is nothing to do to save me from my misery. It was dark also, I remember that, but it was just a fragment. Nothing else I can remember.

June 30th, 9:17 PM

I don't know why I decided to write an entry now, because I really thought it wasn't necessary.

So I am not sure if I had a dream yesterday, or just my imagination after I woke up. Not sure which one.

The dream is where I am playing computer. Not sure which one, because my point of view was only the screen (kind of like when you record a stream)
I was playing Team Fortress 2, a famous game which is now for free on Steam. I was playing as an engineer, a guy who builds sentry guns to defend positions. I don't know why I had this, but all I remember was:

There was no sound. Even gunshots were mute.
There was another engineer in the game, and he sucked.
My sentry guns kept getting destroyed for no reason, and I kept rebuilding them hoping they would last.
There was a moment where a Sniper had a clear shot on me, and I kept running. He always looked like he could have just pulled the trigger and killed me, yet he never shot once. He eventually gave up and ran away, in fear that I would have eventually killed him.

Now, my thoughts about this are as following:

No sound: Maybe because too much was happening, it did not need sound? Or it can be another metaphor, not sure what it can mean though
Another engineer: Maybe someone playing the same "role" as me, yet not being successful while doing so. Could mean many things to me, varying from family to strangers
Sentry guns kept getting destroyed: Might mean that I kept trying to build something of my own, to have a foundation, yet it just kept falling apart, something stopping me from doing so
Sniper not shooting: Might mean someone giving me another chance, yet proving to me that they could have easily killed me.


Not bad for just fragment (or probably just me imagining TF2) but it can mean a lot. Hope I get a fragment today, I do not expect to have a lucid today.

June 29, 2:28 PM

So I have tried to LD yesterday, with no luck. I have been going over what I did wrong, and I think I know what it is. First, I fapped twice that day (lmao). I also did not sleep in my regular schedule, instead of sleeping by 4 AM I slept at 1 AM, possibly making me not as tired. I was also confused whether to doe a MILD or a WILD, and I kind of went with both. I am still experimenting with both, and if I do not have a lucid dream in a month, I will confirm that I am not a person of dreams.

I had a mild dream, but not lucid. I was in a poll, kinda like in TV shows. I had a number 4 on my screen thing, and I was very sad. That is all I remember

Maybe I need to do more reality checks, or dream more relaxed/without fapping.

It is only day 1, but I am more excited than ever to make this work. I will keep trying and learn from my failures.

Peace