Jakro Goes Hardcore Into LDs

Still nothing special to tell about my recall, and I still haven't had the first lucid dream of 2012. I'm going to crank up the effort by having more consistent tries on WILDs. Meanwhile, the last dream from 2009 to enter in this journal.

Fear of Bodybuilders
Date: December 27th, 2009
Lucid: No

I was walking in what I thought was Helsinki, but it looked more like my hometown to be honest. Towards me there were these two guys walking, who looked like bodybuilders. I could have just gone by either side of them, but no, given that I was walking right in the middle of the sidewalk, I was stubborn and wouldn't budge - I was going to walk right between them.

You obviously already know that it isn't gonna end well. The right-sided guy, who had a moustache, had a wide, evil grin on his face as he grabbed me. I was fearing for my life, but the rational side of my mind also knew, that there would be no reason to kill me.

They pushed me around a bit before seemingly letting me go. But no, you don't think I would just walk away? No, I fuckin' flipped my finger at them! The guys were enraged and that seemed all the good enough reason for them to kill me. So I started running for my life, trusting that I can at least that well against those guys.

There was some kind of construction site next to me. The bodybuilders didn't waste time on chasing me, instead they just went there, picked up some tools and shit and started throwing it at me. Some were near misses, but I did get away unharmed.

Later I was in home and still terrified. I was afraid that the bodybuilders could somehow follow me there.

Couple of crap days again. Let's delve into a nightmare classic. One of the last dreams of 2009 I'm gonna write here.

Vicious Attack
Date: December 6th, 2009
Lucid: No

I was in the edge of our fields, and there was also my brother and his girlfriend. Some airplane flew over as and it's engine sounded weird. Dad came at the edge of the field, next to the forest wall towards us.

Nearby, there was a relatively big barn. Under the barn's roof there was a space, from which you could see inside the barn. In that space there were couple of guys.

You could hear from the heights, how the plane turned steeply. Someone shouted "Woo!" from the plane. My dad kept walking closer, but the guys in the barn were shouting at him for come to there.

Dad noticed that they were calling him, but he didn't react to it, rather walking to us. The plane landed on our field. It was odd that it could land there so effortlessly so near us. The plane was white, and through it went blue stripes. It was very wide and the rudder was weird.

Out from the plane came an old, disgusting looking old bald guy and three of (presumably) his sons. Oldest of them were around 20, the two others a bit younger. All of them were at least slightly fat. My brother was doing his boxing defense poses in front of our dad, which made me expect something of an aggressive encounter.

The old guy started talking about some piece of metal, with what my brother had apparently hit one of his boys. It seemed though that he was just using that as an excuse revenge some grudges he had for our dad. He had a knife in his hand, and it wasn't like a small carving knife, but a big, mean-looking meat-cutting knife. The boys were armed as well, with many kinds of blunt weapons.

"Why do you even exist?" The old guy attacked at us verbally. He started spouting some shit about agricultural law, that didn't even make any sense. Basically he insisted, that we were worthless human beings. Apprently dad had not done some thing he should have done, according to the law. What the fuck?

"If someone has broken the law, then you call the police", I intervened, and my argument was perfectly sensible. "You can't take the law on your own hands. It would result in an anarchy."

But it obviously did no help. This dream had already decided to escalate all the way. Somehow I got hold of the guys knife, and I fuckin thrusted it to the old guys side! I aimed for non-lethal spots (there's no self-defence in Finnish law - you kill a guy and you go to jail). I guess I should have gone for the kill, as the guy only got more enraged. I guess I'd get too if I had a knife in my side.

"I'm gonna kill you!" He raged. But instead of attacking me, he moved towards my dad. Somehow he got another knife and slashed at my dad with it. He only hit his arm, but that got over my threshold of horror, so I woke up.

Sheesh, I have had over a week's break from updating this. My momentum kind of got killed when my streak broke off. Still waiting for the first lucid of the year. They are going to have to come thick and fast soon or else I won't be having my best year.

Nonetheless, last night I actually had an okay recall. And as my own forum, where my dream journal is, is down, I can't even write any classics, so last night's dream it is then, paraphrasing it from memory.

Weird History Girl
Date: February 13th, 2012
Lucid: No

So I was at my home's yard and there was some party going on inside. There were some people outside as well though. I wasn't interested in the party apparently, so I sat down to the swing. All the sudden one girl, actually one of my former classmate from way back, sat next to me and started talking to me.

She didn't recognize me. She just thought to come to talk to me, cause I "looked nice", or something to that effect. I told her that she actually should recognize me and I guess I sort of tried to force her to remember, but she didn't remember, even with the hints I gave to her.

Somehow though I ended up in her car while she drived through the town. She seemed to be a bit poor driver and almost crashed a couple of times. She tried to explain that it was because she was not used to driving around there.

Finally she parked next to some street and started walking somewhere. I wasn't sure what I was doing there, so I contemplated a bit before following her.

She went into this building. The door of it was weird, like you had to transform into many times smaller size before you could fit in the door. I saw many people go through this process, including her. Somehow I explained to myself, that it was just an optical illusion. I went in behind her.

The building was some kind of mix between museum and library. Apparently there were some old texts you were allowed to read, and that was what she was after. She headed to some reading hall while I started wandering around.

I found some room I though I was familiar with. There was a stairway that led to nowhere, though I told myself, that if you'd jump off it's ledge you could latch onto something and get to some other space. I didn't try it though.

I headed back to the reading hall, but I had to go through stairs down. In those stairs I hit some button on the floor that triggered an alarm. There was some kind of guarding point with couple of guys right next to the place. Some mean-looking guy started moving and they all got alert due to the alarm.

I knew I set it off, but just stared the mean-looking guy in the eye and he ignored me, thinking that the alarm was set off by something else. Anyway, I had gotten of it and headed to the reading hall. There were some tables and few people in it. Next to the table where the classmate girl was was also another one of my former classmates, one guy.

I went to talk to the girl and asked what she was studying, as in studying in school. I don't remember if she had said to me in the car that or did I just figure that she must be studying something. Nonetheless she told me that she studies history. I said that I figured that isn't that obvious and that I wanted more specific answer. For some reason everybody, including me, thought that that was like the best joke ever, at least judging from the amount of laughter.

I don't remember what she answered, but the dream pretty much ended there anyway.

Shaky recall continues. Let's move on to the classic of the day.

Sam Farha's Gas Station
Date: December 5th, 2009
Lucid: No

So yeah, I was in front of a gas statiion. There was Sam Farha (a poker player), who seemed bored. He was with a buddy of his. He also seemed to be the owner of the place. They went inside the gas station. I decided to follow them.

I would have wanted to ask Farha, whether he'd want to coach me (I played poker back then), but as I was closing them in they turned into couple of my old school friends. I am a bit disappointed at how I can miss such an obvious dreamsign. The buddies went to sit at a table and I joined them. The other one instantly asked:
"Jakro, what do you think, do you think I should win the Entrepreneur of the Year of Orivesi -Award?"
"Umm... I don't know, I haven't really followed entrepreneurs in Orivesi, but if I had to vote, I'd vote for you", I answered. Good answer, man.

The waitress brought us the menus. Other one of the guys had a clear idea about what he'd order, apparently he had been there before. It was some kind of tabasco or something, that he ordered. I on the other hand wondered whether I even have money to buy anything. I dug out my wallet and had a memory, that I'd have 30 € there. But no. Woah shit, it was loaded with monies! I even tried to count it, but there was too much, so I just concluded that I had no worries about that.

However, this got me paranoid, as everyone saw my wallet overflowing with money. I started to fear for pickpockets and couldn't relax. Mo' money, mo' problems. Another worry I had was that I couldn't remember why I was there. I figured out I was going to some meeting, but I didn't know when it was, and probably not where either.

"I'll order soon", I announced to others, "I'll just have to make a call." I tried to find some guys number on my phone, but there wasn't any. I even accidentally connected internet and then somehow thought I was calling somewhere.

In the end the call didn't happen and somehow I ended up in the internet, but not with my phone. It seemed like I was at my own computer. The site I was on seemed suspicious and I was remembering something about some scheming going on in these kinds of sites. I noticed that there was an email from the guy, whose number I earlier was looking for. The title of the mail was: "Details about da meeting." I'm not kidding, 'da' was used constantly in the e-mail's content as well. Seeing this, I decided that fuck it, I'm not going to any meeting.

I thought about rejoining my buddies to eat, but in the end I somehow teleported to home. In my home's yard there were two, huge dogs. I didn't know them and they were barking like hell. The situation seemed threatening. There was also a third dog, but it seemed non-threatening. My mom just shouted to the dogs a bit and they retreated.

Ironically, after 31 days of recalling dreams and a first full month ever for me, I lose the streak right on the first day of February. Too bad. The streak is gone, so maybe I'll finally have a lucid dream for a change this month. Barren streak now extends to 46 days.

Anyways, let's delve into another "classic". This is a really short, but has enough curiosity factor to make it here.

Cristiano Ronaldo Smackdown
Date: November 13th, 2009
Lucid: Yes

I was in what seemed like a football (soccer) field. It was dark. Cristiano Ronaldo was there as well and we ended up playing against - but not soccer, some other game. He grabbed the ball on his hands and made a supernatural jump to the other end of the field. He threw the ball while in air, but he had jumped too high and it only hit the crossbar. This whole time I was already lucid, the dream had pretty much started that way.

The match ended up being more like Smackdown than any other sport. I was beating Cristiano up at some point. My buddy Tomi emerged from the woods and joined up in my side. I was pretty excited.

Unfortunately there isn't more that I remember.

At least according to the text I have in my dream journal. That means we are going back to the past again - my current recall is still fragmented, but I just finished my first ever 100 % recall-at-least-something-everyday-month. Gotta be happy.

My Longest, Best Quality Lucid Ever
Date: November 2nd, 2009
Lucid: Obviously
Method: DILD

This might be the clearest and longest lucid dream I had, but it's also a bit weird and doesn't actually have that much happening. Again "I just knew" that I wasn't inside my own body. I was in this town with my parent, as in parent of the guy whose body I was inside. I wasn't sure whether it was his mom or dad, as it seemed to shift from moment to moment. We went to some shop and for some reason the parent cheated me out of 20 cents of my own money.

The point of the whole trip to the town was to get this guy to driving school. I just decided to run away from that parent and I figured out that I could go to the guy who was my real life driver's instructor. In real life he wouldn't have probably taken me, as there was an incident IRL, but as I knew I wasn't in my own body, I knew I could go there. At this point I wasn't lucid yet, even if it would make sense that I were if I already know that I'm not inside my own body.

I was running up some hill and alongside the street there were some houses that had a carefully decorated facade. I found this odd given that I knew the town where I was in and there shouldn't be houses like that there. I decided to RC and got lucid. Part of me wanted to go along with the dream's plot, just to see where it goes, so I started proceeding further towards this driving school. I ran right into the traffic, knowing that even if I get ran over, it can't really damage me. Damn, thinking afterwards I ought to have done couple more RCs just to make sure.

I come to the corner of some building and remembered the monthly challenge of our forum. First I still decided to try out my powers by stopping all the traffic. Everything froze like I would have pressed the pause button. I got drunk with power and started shouting "I! AM! GOD!!!"

My forum's challenge that month was to meet your dream guide. So I just walked along in the empty town, that was still frozen by my pause-button, and started screaming, that my dream guide better show up.

Ground started to rumble, like something was running towards me. I was behind a building's corner and I heard how it ran past me. "I'm here", I shouted behind it.

I had wondered before what kind of dream guide I would like to have, but in the end I just decided that I wanted my subconscious to surprise me. It certainly did it.

My dream guide emerged. It was.... WOODY FUCKIN WOODPECKER. Like what the fuck? How the hell did that happen? I never even watch Woody Woodpecker, yet it's my dream guide. That's messed up on so many levels. My mind created an incredible 3d version of it (or should I refer to it as him?) as well, I was impressed about that, but still, what a mindfuck. Needless to say, I obviously don't believe any of these dream guide nonsense anymore.

So anyway, I asked Woody whether he'd help me have more lucids in the future and help me know myself better, like it read in the Dreamviews (oh my god, this is comedy gold... I couldn't even come up with anything as good as this). Woody was similar to my DCs usually, he didn't talk much.

I don't remember what happened to Woody, but given that I already did the challenge and met my dream guide, there was only one thing in my mind - sex. So I found myself a girl and had her give me a bj. I wouldn't normally go into the details in these kinds of things, well, not here anyway, but it felt so good this time that I came in like four seconds and was more intense than anything I've experienced in real life. Normally dream sex doesn't feel pretty much anything for me.

But yeah, I had gotten off so that part of me was satisfied (and for those of you curious, NO, I didn't wake up with messy pants), but the dream was still going on. Next I tried to burn my own house just after getting a random idea. Again, might be wise to make couple of RCs before doing shit like that, I don't think "But I though it was a dream" is going to be satisfactory explanation for the insurance company after committing arson to your own house. Anyway, the house didn't burn very well, so that's a relief.

I had a false awakening and then the nose test didn't work as it should have. For some reason I wasn't able to breath through it despite still being in a dream. Nothing noteworthy happened after that.

Still, kind of sad that this still probably the best and longest lucids I ever had. I've had a couple lucids later that could challenge this, but I think this should be the average, not among the best.

Another fragment recall last night, on to the classic of the day.

Dimension Portals
Date: October 13th, 2009
Lucid: Yes

Once again I was in a threatening situation. Some guy was holding me at gun-point and I hoped so intensely that it was a dream, that it turned into a one. All the sudden I teleported to my living room. There was no need for reality checks - I immediately realized that it indeed was a dream. I also had an idea on what to do right away - the challenge in our forum back then was to enter a tv-show's of your choice reality. My choice was South Park, as that was something I obsessed back then.

I did stop to talk to some random little girl that was in the living room, but then I proceeded with my plan. I went out, towards our barn. For some reason outside was mostly dark, but there were some illuminated flowers there as well. I just passed them by, but as I went by them, one yellow flower appeared in my chest pocket.

Once at the door of the barn, my brother was there. I am no stranger to asking help from DCs, so I told him that I need to get to the South Park. He gestured me to follow him inside. There were some rectancular, light blue energy fields - dimension portals. My brother lead me to one of them and told that it will transport me to South Park. He went in first and vanished. I followed him through the portal and... it didn't work. I just went through the blue field. I felt this odd, cold feeling, but it didn't transport me to anywhere. I was sitll in the barn.

I tried going through different portals, entering them in different postures, etc. Nothing worked. Finally I noticed that there was one port on the floor. I dropped through it and poof! I was still in the barn... something had changed though. I felt like I had travelled through time - in to the future... 1000 years into the future. There were some people there that put an odd contraption on my head, so that I couldn't hear or see anything - they feared that I would become distraught for being so far in the future. I guess that makes sense, give me some time to take it in before exposing me into the drastic changes of the civilization.

It would have been interesting to eventually see where the world had gone to in my dream's future, but unfortunately I woke before seeing anything more.

I have surpassed my recall streak. I've recalled something on 29 days straight. Yay me. To be honest, I guess that's pretty pathetic record for someone in this for over three years. But it is what it is, and I gotta be happy and keep extending it. For LDs the barren streak still extends to 43 days. I've had over two months without a lucid, so it's not record, but with this decent recall I'd expect better from myself.

In terms of my past dreams we are going to October 2009. I guess I had already peaked after the first excitement of the 9 months prior and started to coast a bit, so my results were going down. Still, I had more success than now. Non-lucid this time though.

Everybody Knows You're Lost
Date: October 2nd, 2008
Lucid: No

I was at my home, in the living room. I was just chilling out before the windows started moving. It was really odd. I ended up looking outside the window and following some girls with my eyes. Then the dream transitioned so that I was now looking outside a bus' window to those same girls. Then I transitioned again, this time in the front of the small bus, alongside the driver who I knew. We started a conversation about cars.

I: "They don't make good cars any more"
Him: "What do you mean?"
I: "Well you know... For example, they don't start in the winter etc."
Him: "Oh yeah..."
I: "And all those microchips etc. so there's so many places that can fail."
Him: "Yeah but if they're not in use then it isn't a problem."

Surprisingly sane conversation. He, I mean the driver, was really hitting the throttle despite the fact that the bus was now in some kind of city centre. He said that he drove 100 km/h and I looked at the speedometer and it confirmed that. Pretty insane guy. There was some hill where the I felt the speed in my stomach. The driver steered into some parking hall, still at least a hundred in speedometer and then just stopped like he hit the wall - despite not hitting one. All the other people got off the bus like nothing had happened.

There was my old PE teacher and the other people went along with him. I started wondering what the hell I was doing in this bus anyway. I didn't reach conclusion, instead I just decided that going along with him wasn't it. I guess the bus wasn't going anywhere any more, as I went outside. By now the surroundings had changed and it seemed like some kind of construction site. My brother / my friend Henri emerged from somewhere - it seemed to change from moment to moment, which one it was.

I didn't have any idea, where I was, but I didn't want to admit that to my brother / Henri. There was some... what do you call those spots where's map of the city on a big board? Anyway, there was one of those and I walked up to it to figure out where I was, only to be disappointed. There wasn't any map, just an empty space.

All the sudden clown popped out of somewhere. A fuckin' clown! Well, I wasn't stingy about whom I ask for direction, as long as Henri / my brother won't know I am lost. So I walked up to the clown to ask for directions. Henri came behind me and asked: "LOL, is that your superior ?" (as in a job)
"No", I stuttered, "I was just about to kick him in the nuts."

It was weird line to say, I guess I was trying to be funny. We have a weird sense of humor, but that's just messed up thing to say. Anyway, you don't fuck around with clowns as he first kicked my ankle and then smashed his fist right in my face. I was down for the count and my brother / Henri walked me far from the clown.

It seemed like every time when the other side was nice, it was my brother, and every time he was mean, it was Henri. Makes sense.

I wanted to get back at the clown. Partly to revenge, partly to explain that it was just a joke and that I wasn't really going to kick him, and partly to finally ask him directions. Jesus Christ, just admit you're lost, haven't you endured enough trouble already? I was also thinking about pressing charges against the clown, as he had just beaten me up without me doing anything. My brother managed to talk me out of going at the clown again.

All the sudden we turned right next to my former school. I figured I was in the place I was looking for, so I forgot about the clown and didn't care to meet him again. My brother thought that I finally came to my senses and realized that I couldn't beat the clown.

Then the dream transitioned again and this time I was at my home again. My mom asked me whether I reached anyone. I guess I was to meet some people in the school, or something like that. Then the dream ended.

I've been a little lazy this past couple of days and have not been writing here. My recall is still slightly improving. God, I just wish my dry spell would end. I still need to try harder. Last night though I got decent recall, so here's the dream.

Chillin' In Korea
Date: January 28th, 2012
Lucid: No

I was just walking around in some bustling little asian town, that I just again "knew" was Korea. North or South, I didn't even wonder about that. I was walking around, watching the people going past me, looking at the buildings, just chilling out and feeling good. In fact, I felt like I could move to live in there.

All the sudden this orange truck stops beside me. Somehow I knew that it was Chinese. There were some soldiers and they asked me to get on board. I decided that why not, even if I felt a bit threatened and wondered if I have something to worry about.

In the truck's... what's the word? Let's just say "space in the back", anyway in there was some guy they were holding as prisoner. He was beaten and tortured. I noticed that once of my old army buddies was one of the three soldiers doing the dirty deed and one of them were my sister's boyfriend. Neither of them are really asian and they were just themselves in the dream as well, but for some reason Chinese soldiers as well.

So anyway I was angry about this man being tortured, but they just said that it wasn't against the law and it is what it is. Crazy shit law. I got really angry and in my mind I just rationalized "Well, if beating up a guy into a near death isn't illegal, then killing you isn't illegal either." Somehow I got an assault rifle on my hands and killed all of the soldiers.

At that point the truck was stopped in the middle of the woods, so I was in a perfect spot to get away with my murders. I grabbed the tortured guy on my shoulder and started running away. Most of the time it felt like the other guy weighted nothing, and finally the dream transitioned so that the guy was running along with me.

The environment had also transitioned. It looked like standard Finnish countryside. Some woods, some fields, house and barn here and there. We went across someone's yard and while the other guy got through unnoticed, some old woman spotted me. I tried to squirm my way out of it, but she wouldn't have it. I don't know what she could have done though, so why I just didn't leave? Anyway, the other guy saved me by saying something smooth and in the end we were welcomed inside their house.

We didn't stay for long, as we still had to continue fleeing from the authorities, who will surely eventually find the bodies and start tracking us down.

When that happens though, I'll be already awake.

My recall has been getting better lately, but we are still far away from the best I've been and still the dry spell for lucids continues. Let's go back to the past again.

Accidental Lucid
Date: October 5th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I was having a conversation with my brother in the living room. I was lying down on the sofa and he was using my computer, but with his head turned towards me. We were coincidentally talking about reality checks. My brother doesn't know much about LDing and in fact, he to this day thinks it's some kind of satan's worshipping. Anyway, I started demonstrating to him the different methods that you can use to RC. I didn't have any clue about being in a dream at that point.

First off I did the plugging the nose -test. I managed to push some air out of my nose, but there was some friction, which made me think that I just didn't plug my nose properly. Still, the seed of suspicion was laid. Next I tried to push my fingers through my hand. My dreams are too realistic, I guess, for that to work. Nonetheless lastly I demonstrated the clock-test.

The time on the clock only shifted around a bit, so I did the test multiple times, until on the sixth time the clock turned from 12 am. to 7 pm. That was big enough change for me to believe that I was dreaming. I didn't remember what was the monthly challenge. I even asked my brother, but he didn't have any clue. He was surprised too for this being a dream and started writing on my hand with a pen.

Next I shouted "Clarity now!" to increase the clarity of the dream, despite it being okay to begin with. Shouting that didn't work for me though. Next I asked my brother to make the dream clearer. "Alright", he answered and started writing again on my hand. I guess the stimulation that the point of the pen caused on my skin was enough to indeed make the dream more clearer.

I headed towards my brother's room, but he was still pestering me with that pen. I told him to do 100 push-ups just to make him leave me alone. Instead he just piled some junk on his hands and started doing bench press with them.

I proceeded through a corridor towards his room. There was a lot of his stuff on the corridor just piled up, like he was moving or something. I accidentally caused one pile of cd records to fall. I froze and was afraid, that he would attack me angrily now. Instead he started crying over some record. I just told him that it didn't necessarily break.

Then I just woke up, before I really managed to do anything special. That was my 19th lucid since I started closely keeping a record at the start of 2009.

Finally some more recall - At some point this DJ will be all current dreams, but for now well still keep at times returning to my most classic dreams. Today though I'll go through the last night's dream. This is pretty unsanitary and has a lot of shit in it, so if that offends you don't read along. I wonder what it tells about my subconscious that I have such dreams.

Unsanitary Airport Bathroom Search
Date: January 22th, 2012
Lucid: No.

I was in an airplane, and I needed to get into a bathroom. Some butler-type guy with a neat uniform directed me to corridor to the left. That's obviously not possible in a plane so I just smoothly transitioned into what seemed like an airport terminal. There were some stalls all around the terminal were people were selling some stuff to the tourists.

A guide who looked like Mansa Musa from Civilization IV tried to lead me to a bathroom. He was really friendly and I immediately developed trust towards him. His name, as I found out later, was Navi. He said that there was a bathroom behind a stall that had turkish flag in it.

Well we went there and it turned out there wasn't any bathrooms. Darn. We ended up working with some other black dude in some kind of... Well, it seemed like our barn with it's concrete floor and wooden walls, but also it seemed like some sort of sewer. So there I was indeed just working. We were along some pipe that was spurting water full of... erm.. excrement. I had my hands full of shit due doing such dirty work. I accidentally stained the unknown worker's shirt with my shitty hands. He didn't seem to mind at first, but as I apologized he noticed the stains and seemed to get a bit upset. He splashed some shit on my face from his fingers. What was really weird that I wasn't really all that disgusted.

Dream transitioned again and this time I was wandering the city streets. I still remembered being in the airport and all that kinds of things and thought I was in some African country. Oddly enough the streets were full of white people who seemed really well off anyway. The city looked like a standard Finnish city anyway. I thought I was behind my group, or something and I ran. I ran until I saw the back of one guy I sort of knew ten years ago. I presumed it was him and at first thought that I was chasing him.

Then I got confused. He couldn't have been a part of the group I belong to. I ended up just walking behind him with no destination and with him not noticing me.

Dream transitioned again and the landscape started to look more like Finland. Land was wintery and full of snow and now I was walking along the road alone. There were woods alongside both sides of the road. I felt tired all the sudden, and some voice inside my head said that falling behind was one of the main reasons that people die in the army. Not much logic in that ending, but whatever.

I'm only few days away from "perfect" recall for a whole month - first time in my three-year career as a lucid dreamer. Perfect, as in I've remembered something for every night/day for a month (my sleeping times have varied). That said, overall I haven't recalled that much. Last night I recalled only a short fragment. Barren streak still continues lucid-wise. 35 days since last lucid now. Let's do another shorty from the the past:

Hostage of Vladimir Putin
Date: September 17th, 2009
Lucid: No

This was a scary and very real-like nightmare. I was in some kind of school and all the sudden Vladimir Putin walks in with some agents. We were taken as hostage. Putin said, that he'll ask each of us a question, and if the answer doesn't please him... bullet into the head. Putin pointed his gun at me couple of times, but didn't ask a question. I remember how my sweat was dripping and how I was terrified. There was a very real fear of death. There was some agent, apparently american or of other enemy of Russia, next to me. Putin asked him that why would he risk his life as there was no chance that he could influence the power struggle between the big countries.

Luckily this dream wasn't very long. The agent next to me didn't even answer, before the pressure got too much for me and I woke up. Not much of reading perhaps once again, but that dream left a permanent mark into my mind.

Last night's recall... Meh, at least I took notes. Still not much stuff. Let's go back to the past again - it's always funny to notice how your dreams haven't really changed that much and finding connecting themes between your current and three years ago dreamed dreams. Still, I'm so tired that I'm going to do a super short one.

Voice in the Darkness
Date: August 28th, 2009
Lucid: No

I was going outside. It was a winter night and it was very dark outside. Weird that the seasons are so often not consistent in dreams - I mean that this was dreamed in August, yet it was the darkest time of the winter in the dream.

Only light-source outside was the light that came from the inside. As the door closed before me, darkness engulfed me. I was alone in the darkness. I felt distressed. Voice from the dark said: "Well well, Jakro came out." It had an evil tone and I got terrified.

Something grabbed me and started dragging me away. I started screaming as hard as I can, hoping that someone would hear me and come to help. The voice just told me to shut up. I still didn't see anything.

My own screams woke me up in the bed. I wrote to my dream journal that "I had planned to try a FILD if I wake up in the night, but I was too terrified to do it."

Simple, yet intense dream. I had some serious emotional problems back then. Well, I guess I still have.

I'm going to write a bit longer dream today from the past - the recall still isn't good, but at least I've returned to monophasic sleeping lately.

Mom's Diner - Just Kill Me Already
Date: August 21th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I thought I was at home, but there were some guys from the army doing some kind of ice...thingie. There was a pool made of concrete and the guys were pouring ice-cold water into it for it to freeze. For some reason I decided to jump into the water. I didn't feel the coldness, but the water started to freeze and resist my movement right away. I asked the army guys to help me up and luckily they did help me out of the pool. I was wondering whether I should help the guys in this freezing thing they were doing, but then they started talking:
"Have you tasted mom's delicacies yet?"
"Nope."
"Well go have a taste!"

I had changed into army uniform and the place overall resembled the garrison I had been a year earlier in reality. "Mom" was apparently some diner runner there. She seemed to be really liked. She actually looked like one lady that indeed did work in the army in reality. Nobody called her mom though.

Still I had not actually seen her in the dream though (just getting ahead of myself). I was at the door of the place and there was some kind of candle rack (is it said like that?) that I managed to accidentally cause to fall. Actually this resembles again a real-life situation - in the army I did back into a flower stand and the jar where the flower were broke. I guess that embarrassing situation left strong marks into my subconscious. Anyway the "Mom" was there looking at me like I'm some kind of madman. I apologized for tipping that rack over and was relieved that I didn't break anything.

I wandered around the place a bit. There were plenty of free tables, but I didn't find any place where to order anything. I ventured even further and then realized, that the "diner", wasn't any diner but more like a department store. There were a lot of small shops and stuff. For example there was Mom's kiosk, where you could get some food for travel, at least according to it's slogan. I kept zig-zagging the place. Finally I ended up in the other side of the place and went out from there.

People were going to some stadium outside. It resembled Berlin's Olympic Stadium, at least according to my notes, even though I have no idea what Berlin's Olympic Stadium looks like. The place was shutting down because Mom was going there. I gotta say that all of the people just talking about this mom made me very curious.

I went back into the "diner"/department store and looked for the kiosk. I planned to buy couple of chocolate bars to at least have something to eat, even if not Mom's acclaimed food. But no, the place was just shutting down. One of my former classmates was there gathering up things. What, he now works there? My brain works in a fucked up way sometimes... I felt like stealing the chocolate bars, because of this unfortunately timed closing time, but I ended up deciding against it.

That was when I realized, that I had been in the store for a long time. I started to wonder whether I should be back with the dudes at the concrete pool who were doing the freezing shit. Wow, amazing consistency in my dreams. This is the kind of dreams I'd like to enjoy while lucid, dreams where everything holds together, is logical and stays consistent. Too much to ask for, I guess.

Because even while this wasn't yet lucid, the logic and consistency of it sort of died right there. I went out of the store and where was I? At the local community center's front yard. I realized that this wasn't possible. Lucidity was inevitable at that point. The dream also (unsuprisingly) really started to lose it's quality.

There's a road going in front of it and I saw multiple trucks coming there. They really drove in wildly and had the trucks slide sideways because of turning too much, etc. Some tough-looking dudes came out of the trucks when they finally had stopped. The gang surrounded me. They were armed with assault rifles, though hilariously some of them had that red end that toy guns have at the end of the barrels.

They started acting all tough on me. Me being lucid I had zero fear, so I just acted tough back. Shame I don't remember the dialogue exactly. He was pointing his rifle at me and I just dared him to shoot me. I really pushed him. I ordered him to shoot me. I wanted to die. Yet he just kept threatening, instead of doing it. I realized he was not going to do it unless I do something more drastic.

I grabbed one of his gang members under my arm and threatened him. "Unless you shoot me, your friend is gonna suffer!"

Instead of shooting me like any sane thug would have done, he just reversed it. He said that my friend is gonna die if I don't stop - and as "my friend" he referred to the guy I had just grabbed. What the fuck? That's the worst illogicality I've ever seen in a dream. Dude, it's your friend, not mine.

I resiliently kept pissing him off so he finally obliged me and pulled the trigger. The gun just clicked. It was empty. He didn't even have ammo this whole time? What a retard! Besides, this already happened in my earlier dream (I just realized this). I guess empty guns are a dream sign for me. Then again, any guns at all are a dream sign for me. Anyway, I figured that I'm not going to get killed here, so I tried to pull out a gun from my pocket using passive control, just "knowing" it is there. It didn't work.

I tried to throw myself into the ground again as I noticed that the dream was crumbling fast. I ended up into my bed in a false awakening. I did like a million reality checks and by all means I should have realized I was still dreaming, but I still went to the kitchen to look for some more evidence. Too bad I was in a tight timeframe anyway, as I woke up then.

I've forgotten to write this couple past days, as I'm going to sleep a bit sporadically. I have barely mantained my recall streak, which now streches to 17 days. I have one long dream from the past picked to write here next, but as I am tired and want to get to bed asap, I'm going to share the short dream I had last night.

Toilet Paper
Date: January 17th, 2012
Lucid: No

I was hanging out with one of my former buddies. He isn't my buddy any more, in fact I hate him these days, but for some reason I was following him around as we walked all over the place. He had a bicycle and I walked along. We came to the center of my home village (it's a really small place, just a church, shop, bank and the post office). One of my former classmates from high school (which ended for me back in 2007) was walking away from the bus stop, as if he had been to school and just got back with the bus. There have been tons of dreams I've had where I've been back in high school despite it ending nearly five years ago. Again this made me think whether I missed the school. Then I remember thinking that it was supposed to be some holiday, but apparently it wasn't.

Anyway I walked past my classmate and kind of felt badass for skipping school. My ex-buddy continued downhill away from the center of the village and I was following him despite not knowing where the hell we were going. He had said to me something before we continued, but I don't remember what it was.

All the sudden some guy with a powerful motorcycle sped past me, just avoiding hitting me. Then he leaned as close to the ground as possible and sliced the bicycle from beneath my ex-buddy. I just watched how the bicycle got smashed and wasn't worried about my ex-buddy - it was a very clean hit, and as it turned out, the guy did it on purpose. Such stunts wouldn't be possible in real life, obviously.

I didn't know the guy with the motorcycle. After making my ex-buddy fall off his bicycle he stopped and came to talk to us. I asked why he did that. Apparently my asshole ex-buddy had taken some of his money or something. Then I had the urge to compliment him for the nice skills he had with the motorcycle, but for some reason I didn't say anything. I guess I was a bit intimidated of him. He seemed a cool, if a bit simple guy.

All the sudden he had some toilet paper rolls in his hands. He throw three of them for me and seemed to gesture like they were the reward. For what? I hadn't done anything. Besides, some reward. Then again, you always need toilet paper. Meanwhile some people had gathered all over the place. Everybody was looking at me with my hands full of toilet paper. I asked if I should juggle with them jokingly, but nobody got the joke, instead I got a serious answer "no."

I accidentally dropped one of the rolls. I tried to look for it in the ground, but I guess the dream was a bit unclear as I didn't find it. I also felt silly for looking for some toilet paper, so I just let go.

Some time passed and something happened. People started moving on. I noticed my muscles being stiff and all and said that "all this standing made me stiff". I soon added "I guess it still beats just sitting down all day". There was some girls in the background. For some reason I seemed to care about what they thought about what I said and wondered about it.

That's about it. That's nothing special really, but just nice to have something more recent here once in a while.