insideout

Nonlucid, Lucid, Partially lucid

March 29, 2011: I was in a meditation class, in my mother's old ballet studio. We were sitting on the floor in rows. The teacher walked around instructing us.
We were suppose to feel something. Other students felt whatever it was they were meant to feel, but I never felt anything.
Most of the class left early. I staid and talked with the teacher, a lady maybe in her 40s.

--------

I became lucid through WILD method.
I floated out of bed, in the air. I wanted to see my dream guide. I said out load that I opened myself to her higher guidance. She did not appear. I walked through the house, repeating my intent.
i saw an open drier with laundry in it, and there was cat poop stuck to the bottom of my feet, barefoot.
(note: When I was younger, we had a cat that died in the drier. So that's what the open drier in my lucid dream made me think of.)

I said out load that I wanted help from my dream guide, help with dealing with or getting rid of fear and worry.
I felt myself waking up.
I re-entered a dream and saw Eddie (who is 9) outside through a glass sliding door. I did something to scare him. Then I grabbed him and stretched his mouth open and shaped him into a round kitten. The kitten ball floated in the air.

I was outside on the patio where the wood was stacked. I lightly punched the floating ball of kitten and it floated away. I saw another cat and asked her if my dream guide was around. The cat just acted like a cat. I tried to make the cat into something else, but it didn't work. She looked dead for a moment, but then was OK.
I talked to the cat, asking why I can't do certain things in my lucid dreams. I said maybe it's because I said I couldn't do it.
I must have felt that I was waking up, because I lied down on the patio and tried to WILD again, then realized I was still dreaming.

I thought of something I knew I could do, which was fly. I jumped from the patio and swung from a tree branch, but did not fly. I was like "What the hell?!"
I climbed up a tree trunk, to the sawed off top, and jumped and flew. i flew around a large tree with long, creepy branches that looked like bird-like monsters. I landed on a building ledge next to the tree.

I was having trouble flying. It felt like i was holding two cloths in my hands that I used as wings, and they were getting twisted. I tried turning it into a blanket to use as wings, like I use to do when I was little. But that didn't work either.
Then I saw N and called to her. She ran away playfully. I thought I didn't have time to chase after her. I turned around and saw two of her friends. Then I felt myself waking up again.

I thought for a second that I had woken up, but then realized I was still in a dream. I found N at a table with friends. I removed her pants and underwear and we were about to have sex when I woke up again. This time I decided to get up and write everything down.


Notes: Good points: i remembered my intent to find my dream guide and I was rather persistent about it, at least in the first part.
I was able to continue the lucid dreaming even after partially waking up, by not moving.
Not so good points: I didn't find my dream guide, and other things didn't work well either. I usually don't have any trouble flying in my lucid dreams.
Perhaps I should try doing things in dreams with no expectations at all. When I try having expectations, I always have doubts, or negative expectations that effect my results.