inowheeno

After having tried to have lucid dreams for easily over a month now, i have started slacking on my bedtime schedule and dream journal disciplines and suddenly, I have my first lucid dream.

FIRST LUCID DREAM!!!!!!!!

<non-lucid>
i was in the living room and it was night time. I dont remember how i got there because the previous dream didnt connect. It was dark and I was alone. I was trying to do something with my computer, turn it off or something but something was strange about it. Suddenly when i tried to sit down in my chair, i noticed there was a whole shebang of naked computer hardware hooked up and running lying on my chair, connected to my computer (which was on the other side of my desk) and i get reaally shocked and shout "was ist das denn!?!?!?!?!?" (what the hell is that in German) It was definitely not put there by me and i got worried that somebody broke into our house and that these were the leftovers of my laptop and i had just fried them by sitting on them. I wanted to see what was going on so i went to the light switch but it didnt work. I tried the other lights in the living room and all were dead. I wondered if me sitting on the computer parts could have popped the fuse in the living room so i tried the bedroom light. Also dead. Suddenly it dawned on me <\non-lucid><lucid>"AM I DREAMING?? THIS IS A DREAM!!! I AM DREAMING I AM DREAMING I AM DREAMING..."

I closed my eyes and in excitement, i started rubbing my hands,.. i rubbed them and rubbed them with my eyes closed saying (i am dreaming i am dreaming i am dreaming...) and when i slowly opened my eyes i was on my bed at night. I thought shit... i woke up. But i decided to give it a try anyway. I was breathing very heavily from the excitement and i scooted down to the bottom edge of the bed and tried poking my finger into my palm. the experience was very diffuse but i didnt feel the poke. Light was on in the bathroom and living room but both doors were closed. our bedroom mirror was right ahead of me but it was very dark in the room and i was scared to look into the mirror. after all, not seeing yourself in a mirror, or in a distorted way, i imagine to be a very spooky experience. I tried to pull myself together for whatever might happen now. I could hear myself breathing. Just when i wanted to get up, my wife moved in bed and ripped me out of my dream...<\lucid><awake> i noticed and tried spinning and spinning in my mind, because i wasnt standing yet and because i was already hearing her breathe now next to me... i woke up for real and immediately knew: i just blew my first lucid dream! dang!!!<\awake>

this could be tricky for me because i pop out of dreams very quickly. i can very quickly be wide awake when i hear a sound, and then take forever to fall sleep again. i suppose my wife moves all night long and i dont notice when im asleep. but it might be different when im lucid.

i tried to meditate myself back into another lucid dream, focussing on the occurences in the first one, but i concentrated so hard that i couldnt fall asleep. i suck at meditation. it takes way too much concentration for me and its not relaxing anymore. i even moved into the living room couch, put ear plugs in and tried it there but the only way for me to fall bavk asleep was to just relax and let my mind go do its own thing. And thr next hing i knew was its was morning.