HeSpeaks7

I was in class in high school with all my old friends. I dont think a teacher was their. We all were just having fun, talking, and watching a movie.

Katlynne talked to me casually. Which was nice and odd, because usually she felt repulsed by me. So I joined her group of friends for the last 10 minutes of the movie and we talk and had fun.

The bell rang and we all left. On my way out I talked to Devin a little. It was nice to see her again, because we were always on good terms. I go to my locker and grab a couple things, then headed down for lunch. It was a lonely lunch since I had no one to sit with.

Katlynne

I thought I'd take some time to go in-depth about katlynne, just in case my future self forgot. She has blonde hair, a perfect body, and has relationship issues; on account that everyone wants to hit and quit her. We've always had a weird relationship, in the physical world and dreamworld.

Back in middle school, I put myself out there for her and she rejected me, pretty harshly. And I had never went for a girl before. She ignored me for a while. Then our friends hung out so we kinda got put in the same situation a lot. We'd say a few words to eachother then kinda ignore eachother. She was the most complicated girl I knew. I couldn't tell if she just wanted to be friends or was kinda being nice because of how hard she threw me down or because she felt sorry for me. No idea. Then for 3 years we are seperated, as in, we are not put in the same situation. Then we get history class together and she starts to laugh at jokes I say in front of the class. She even approached me one-on-one a few times and put casual conversations out there. As if she would like to be my friend. I would talk back to her, but also kinda brush off her conversations. I was still confused and hurt by how she acted before. I feel like she may have been interested in a romantic relationship with me, obviously if we hung out more and she confirmed that she liked me. But I wouldn't put that theory on record. And at this point I had undergone a lot of changes. Something had to have appealed to her to want to be my friend. I more or less brushed her off, dropped out of school and went on to do other things with my life (highschool is pointless and I didn't need to go to a good college for my career choice). Anyways, I've seen her 1 or 2 times since I dropped out. A part of me wishes I didn't drop out, I now realize that her friendship would've meant a lot to me.

Now the tie-in. Ever since I left her 1 and a 1/2 years ago, Ive had dreams of her. About every two weeks I'll have a dream about her. Im not exactly sure why, Im assuming its a mix of her having a big impact on my life and that we have a spiritual connection. Of course I wouldn't say that on record, but I kinda feel that connection with her. Take that however you want, but... whatever. Anyways, these dreams are always about being rejected by her or just kinda watching her. In my dreams, her form basically represents rejection (especially from the feminine), the love that wont be, and just sitting on the sidelines. Always she acts out those themes to me in my dreams, up until last night, when she accepted me.

Afterthoughts

Katlynne usually represents feminine rejection/disconnection for me. And I've probably have had 20 dreams over the course of the last 6 months of her consecutively representing those things. So her having a casual conversation, trying to repair our relationship, means something big. Now I couldn't really tell if she was looking for something romantic later on in our relationship. But one thing I do know is that her form now accepts me and were on good terms.

I can't say that I know exactly what this means. It felt really good to have her acceptance and be able to have a nice conversation with her. It could mean that I've conquered my fear of rejection. But it could also mean other things. Im also not sure if this was a shared dream or not. If it was then it could've been just as much of her getting over what I represent in her life as what she represents in mine.

The lonely lunch definitely puts a twist to things. Like, I'm accepted/not scared of rejection yet Im still lonely. Shiitt, that's right lol Though I'm still a bit scared of rejection. There must be more dimensions to what she represents than I'm realizing.

I can't help but feel that one day Katlynne and I are gonna meet again one day and have a great relationship (friendship, possibly romanctic relationship, whatever happens). I just get that feeling out of no where. It could just be the dreams and resentment of how I left things. I guess time will show if its true.

I keep having dreams of Chelsea. She's cute, short, and has black hair. I don't know exactly why I have a dream about her every 2 weeks. I think it may have to do with the fact that she is the only female that I got to know well and didn't have a 'rough patch' with. Or maybe were soul fiends or something like that, idk.

Anyways, the dream started off in a classroom, in a trailer. I was sitting next to Chelsea at a two-person table. We talked a bit, because the teacher wasn't there. Chelsea got up to grab something and my ex, Stephanie, motioned me to come over and sit at her table. So I did.

I talked to Stephanie a little and her boyfriend saw this, and toke a knee between our chairs. Completely blowing me off, he casually talked to Stephanie;butting me out. That was cool though. It didn't really bother me. I see Chelsea drop off some markers at our desk. She pulls up a chair, puts it against the wall, and sits next to me on it. At this point I'm sensing that Chelsea has a thing for me, and I do for her too.

Then Chelsea's mother comes into the classroom, really pissed off. Apparently someone was making fun of Chelsea earlier or something like that. She treats us all like crap and demands to know where the violator is. I think Chelsea asks her mother to stop. And somewhere along the lines, her mother starts yelling at her. Saying that Chelsea is nothing, just really putting her down.

Her mother finally leaves in her fiery rage. I go up to do something unrelated to her mother. When I come back, I see Chelsea sitting by herself, looking really sad, almost about to cry. So I sit down next to her and hold her. She rests her head on my shoulder. I tell her that she didn't deserve any of what her mother told her. She says something, I say something back. Then Chelsea says," We are the warriors of men."

Apparently she is part of some exotic religion that believes many things, one being that they are supposed to defend humanity. I toke what she said as a we're-supposed-to-do-things-the-hard-way-because-we-are-warriors. So kinda like military school's philosophy on parenting their cadets. Also that this religion is blood (insiders/family) only, similar to Judaism.

We talk a little more, and she gives me looks that suggests she likes me. Without saying it, we know that more and more we want to be together, but she would have to go against her religion to be with me. Because she is only supposed to choose from members of her religion to be with. We don't go into all that though. We leave that for later and get through her current sadness together.

I've been out of school for a year and 6 months, and I wanted to go back and see my friends and teachers. So I went to my old highschool and went to every class I used to goto, just as if I was in school. It was fun too. The teachers let me in their classes and my friends still remembered me.

At the end of last period I walked outside and my Marine recruiter Ssgt. Gauge was there waiting for me. He looked over at the crowd leaving the building and saw me 'okay, lets go'. I knew he was taking me to the pool function, but I hated going to those things. I acted like everything was cool and followed him across the street and behind the recruiting office. Out there were 10 poolies and a recruiter. They were all dressed in ACU camo. The recruiter was yelling in one of the poolie's face.

Ssgt. Gauge led me passed the recruiting office and we watched a reenactment of a battle, with only one tank.

I have vague memories of a scary dream of monsters lurking in the dark and us being trapped in a big building. Though, of course, with my manly manliness, I wasn't scared; though I did get excited at some points. Anyways, all I can remember is an elevator falling, me with a group of people. A significant character being a late-teen girl with black hair. Some big loading dock in the warehouse part of the complex with this fucked up monster in it. And that a group of 9-12 of us were trying to escape. Oh and 90% of the time it was really dark and I couldnt see shit.

Background

I layed down and before I fell sleep, I partially projected into my dreamspace and changed it's foundation so that I would automatically have a lucid dream.

The Dream

I was in a baron wasteland, dry cracks in the ground desert style, and I randomly thought it would be cool to fly. Spontaneously, I thought of my body, then imagined myself floating up. And I started to go up. At first I stayed close to the ground, but worked my way up to 10 stories high and performing medium acrobatics. As I flew, I found a New York style city, it comprised of 15 buildings. I flew over to, then walked around for a bit.

Next thing I knew it was nighttime, so Im flying around the buildings, not above them. I want to say that it was at that point I realized I was dreaming. I hear people talking atop one of the buildings. I flew up onto the building to investigate, and it was 4-5 teenagers who could fly too. The appearent leader, or one with the most leadership in him, told me I shouldn't use my abilities in the open. And they left, flew down and walked to a nearby railroad that had a broken down train on it.

I watched what they were doing for a little bit, then decided that was boring and flew up in the air. I bolted away from the city at much speed. Then stopped. It was becoming daytime, and bad clouds were coming in. I decided that wouldn't stop me and I flew high. About 40 stories high. Then I saw a bolt of lighting go off within a cloud that was close to me. That sealed the deal, and I booked back to the city.

I'm not sure if it was the same group of teenagers, but now I was walking around with a group of people (5-7 people). We walked away from the city and towards a 1910s styled group of buildings. We walked through a door and were inside the neighborhood. It was dark and the road was made out of cobblestone. I realized that I should take some provisions to ensure that the lucid dream would last for longer. So I turned to a kid in the group and told him," Go find George and tell him I'm in a lucid dream." Yes that's a reference to shared dreaming. My little brother is an excellent dreamer and he told me he would help me, but my dream space is fucked so he can only help me when Im lucid. And the kid understood all that.

I also examined my hands to increase lucidity. On my thumbs were written in black sith-like text 'LIAR'. On the back of my hand and halfway down my forearm were written more things that I cant remember. Soon after that, the dream either ended lucidity or changed altogether. Note that a few other things happened in during lucidity that I can't really recall.

Background

Note: Keep in mind that this Journal is for me to record my dreams and look back at what adventures I've had. It's not meant for you to read, but you can still read if you want. Just know its not meant to convince anyone of anything, I don't care.

My little brother found a powerful spirit (we nick named him 'Mask' to protect his identity) in the spiritworld that he made a deal with. The deal was: My brother would go through 5 fucked up zombie dreams and Mask would give me full lucid dreaming abilities. Last night, I could sense Mask waiting for me in my dreamspace, but I had a bit of insomnia and finally fell asleep at 4:00. As the night grew later and later, I could sense that Mask was getting tired of waiting for me to fall asleep and had something to do. My assumption is that he slightly altered my dreamspace/mind and left, like a make shift bong (no I don't smoke).

The Dream

(This part isn't lucid) So I was at my cousins' house on the 1st floor. Apparently it's my birthday, so my uncle points to the sliding-glass door and says there's a surprise for my out there. Something about having sex with my step aunt (don't ask). So I go out there to see if he's for real and there's nothing out there. Just a hose and a mini pool. He starts to bolt for the hose, and I start booking it around the house. I vault over a small picket fence and turn the corner around the house. At that point he kinda sprayed me. I looked around the corner and saw him coming with enough cord to reach around the corner. For some reason I was tired, but I ran around to the other side of the house. Telling myself to keep going just like a Marine, even if Im tired. For some reason I jumped to the ground just as I crossed the corner. I had to force myself to roll over the backpack I was wearing. During which process, he sprayed me a little more.

I went into the garage and the fucker finally ran out of cord. But I know he was just joking and stuff. From the garage, I walked into a hallway that was in the house. I think I force jumped up to the second floor, next to the stairs. I landed laying down on a hallway, with railing next to me. Looking up, I saw the third and fourth floors. The hallways, doors, and family walking around, just what I could see from my vantage point.

At that point I realized I was dreaming. I got excited and thought of the real world for a second, but remembered that would wake me up. So I focused on the dream itself. Then I remembered to stabilize the dream. I said out loud, using will," this dream will last for 100 years." I acted quickly on the stabilization and said the first high time limit I could think of. I walked around for 3 seconds and woke up.

I went straight back to sleep and had another 5 second lucid dream. That process repeated 2 more times. Totaling about 4 lucid dreams with an average time span of 4 seconds.

Debrief

I was hella excited I finally got into lucid dream, but kinda pissed it lasted only moments. The lucid dreams toke place at about between 12:00 pm to 4:00 pm. Later, I talked to my brother and Mask in real life (yes I talked to a spirit). I gathered that Mask left before I fell asleep, but left me a little lucid-dream-juice, if you will. And that if I go to bed at a decent time tonight he'll come into my dream and teach me everything about lucid dreaming and fully activate my lucid dreaming so that I naturally have lucid dreams instead of regular dreams.

I dont remember much. I was with a girl named Brianna. I know her in real life. She has a thick build, but still beautiful, ya know that perfect balance? She is very attractive. Anyways, apparently we were 2 years into a serious relationship. We were driving around going on errands. It was nice.

I was digging downwards in a spiral. I had the sense that there were others in my area digging down too. I also felt that we were running from something. Everything looked like Minecraft. The 'graphics', the block pieces, everything. Though the graphics seemed slightly smoother.

I had a pick-ax and was knocking away blocks, working my way down. I felt an urgency to keep digging because I was being hunted, though I had no direct memories of perceiving the danger. I dug and dug. I decided to start taking another way and hit a block of dirt to my right and continued straight for three layers of block. At which point, there was light. So I cleared away a couple more blocks and saw people outside. I climbed out of my hole and noticed I was underground still, just the ceiling of the giant cave was very high up.

I decided to have a look around and found a big entrance to a big cave. Though it was smaller than the area I was in now. It was darker and greener in there. I could see wooden catwalks and a couple wooden structures. There were also big boulders in the big cave.

I decided to go in. There were all ready some people in there walking around casually. A few people followed behind my into the cave. A pirate captian comes from around a boulder and tries to atack me, and I kill him. Forgot how. Then a couple more people (in minecraft skins mine you) came from behind other people and tried to attack them too, but they killed the attackers as well.

Then many people began attacking from the entrance that I had just came through. I saw a latter between two boulders and I climbed up it. I found myself on a catwalk and at the end was a turret. I toke several steps and mounted the turret and fired away at the enemy. There was a magical explosion of lightning, dark blue, stars, and terrible graphic. And I was phased from my nest. Though I got right back on and kept firing.

Then a powerful being came towards my general direction. The one that caused the explosion. Battle raged around me. This being of power wore a silver mask and dark robes. He levitated just above the battle.

There was this pretty, young girl (14-15) and she lived in a house across the street from my old highschool. My friend George, some other guy, and I were spending the night at her house. She had one of her chick friends over too. We laid under our own individual blankets, watching t.v.

The next day, my guy friends and I went out into the kitchen to get something to eat. The girl's parents were out there and I could tell they were uncomfortable with guys around their daughter like this. They called us into their second livingroom and talked to us about giving their daughter space and respect (which I did not think was necessary, but I still showed respect). After we accepted their rules they gave us breakfast. I got a potato and tomatoes. By the time I got back to the room, my potatoes had gotten mixed with my tomatoes... I didn't taste good, but I powered through half of it.

Later I had another talk with the girl's parents, this time about leaving today. They said they couldn't pay to have so many kids over for two days. So I told my guy friends about it. We were in the girl's room and faced a window that over looked most of the city, since the house was on a hill. My friend George said we would have to find somewhere else to spend the rest of the weekend, since it was Saturday, in a serious tone.

It was nighttime, dark too. I was talking to Captain Keys outside a small outpost. I looked at the sky there were many tall trees and stars. But I also noticed that there were a dozen UNSC Frigates moving into a strategic position. I flew up to them and they were the size of a pillow. There was more, but I forgot.

My little brother is an excellent lucid dreamer, so I asked him to find me in the dream world before we went to sleep.

I was on a flat land, barley any trees; the sky was dark, and few city buildings were scattered around this dreamscape. My friend Dayne was with me. All of a sudden I become lucid and wonder where George is. I ask Dayne where George is, but he says he doesn't know. I believe dream characters are actual beings that go into our dreams, and that they know all about the dream they enter. So I toke his hand, pulled it up, then bent it down; which hurt him. I knew this wasn't actually Dayne. I asked him where my brother was again, but he pleaded that he didn't know. It wasn't like Dayne to give in so easy. I bent his hand back harder and asked him again. Then it replied," they wouldn't let him in."

This is where my consciousness goes jelly, if you will. And I just decide to mess around since he can't be here. I also slowly begun to forget I was dreaming. I blasted off into flight. I was going so fast I felt the dropping feeling inside me. I was going over a forest with the trees about 20 ft. away from eachother. Then I saw some Nazis spread out through the forest. Then everything looked like minecraft. I landed at a small, forgotten shack next to a small stream. I decided to stop there, since I was near the Nazi base and no one saw me. I thought I could 'save' and pick up this adventure later, but ya. That's where that ended.

My friend George and I were at my cousin Brandon's house. Brandon began talking to himself, making weird noises, being annoying. Then a poltergeist throws somethings around and he stops. He tells us that everytime that he does that it acts up. George and I laugh because we realize the poltergeist is annoyed at Brandon and trying to get him to stop. George says that the poltergeist was probably chill until Brandon started to annoy him, which started it all. We laughed more with that.

I was in a mall, people were walking around, festivity was in the air. There were a few clubs in the mall, which people were celebrating what seemed like new years or marty graw (spelling). I went into a dimmly light fast food store. And ordered some food. I went out and found myself at one of the clubs. So I enjoyed it and clubbed a bit, then bounced.

I was walking down concord, after party bashing on a nationally festive night. Three tricked out cars raced up the street and drove into a club. One of them did a whip around and screeched to a hault near me. The pretty blonde driver laughed because I flinched. She procceded to the club and so did I behind her (I was walking). The night sky came through the wierd roofed club and neon lights filtered the place. I saw three pretty blondes and knew they were those drivers. I talked to them and they seemed cool. We talked a little, had some laughs.

I can't remember if this was the same dream or not, but... I walked out of the back of the club and went outside. I was outside a mall, at dawn. I walked around the outside of this big mall, seeing other people. I arrived at a neighborhood shop at nighttime. I saw those girls somewhere

This dream started with me outside my 3 story apartment complex. It was all packed together, not divided buildings. For some reason, I thought my apartment building was on the first story so I went down there. I went as far down the hallway as was my apartment, but I realize the windows and doors were set up slightly different. Upon realizing I took the wrong way again (first was another dream that night) I punched someone's door.

Then I walked the stairs in the middle of the complex to take me to the top floor. But to my surprise the stair area had been changed into a few little snack and drink shops (i.e. gelotis, starbucks, etc.) But after an initial 'wtf?' I took it as normal. There were people buying, enjoying their food, and hanging out. It really seemed to be quite the hangout. I found a small set of stairs to take me to the next level.

When I got up the stairs there was a subway and a child's play area. Same as the first level, there was a lot of people hanging out, eating, etc. Then there was these small, goofy looking stairs. I started to go up them as a 16 yo Mexican female tried to go up at the same time. She tried to come onto me, but I didn't want her, so I went up the sketch, one-person stair case.

When I got up that flight of stairs the area was mainly empty. with a few toys laying around. I figured it was an extension of the play area. Now the genius who invented the next stair case obviously had never seen a staircase. It was as if the staircase was folded up into the wall, like those fold up beds in New York apartments. But you couldn't pull it down, there was just an indent of it. To make things more interesting for the inventor, he mockingly put a ladder all along the back of this indent. The top floor had wooden guard rails with a small wall under them. You know, just in case a child wanted a quicker way to the play area. So I stood there marveling at how stupid it was, but I had to go over it so. The Mexican girl followed me and tried to get up over the ladder, but couldn't. I tried to climb the 60 degree ladder, but that didn't work out. As the other girl tried multiple times to get over, I jumped up and barley grabbed on to the railing. It was a bit slippery, so if I tried to pull myself up I would probably fall back down. So I let go. I jumped up again and I had a bad grip and I was already slipping, so I let go. This time, I bent me knees and gave my best jump. I had a decent hold on the rail, so I took it. I pulled myself up and put my feet on the ladder. Then I jumped over the railing.

I walked around a corner to see a white girl standing near my apartment door. As I got closer she said something along the lines of 'poor bird. you've had a bad day haven't you?' She was looking at a bird that was on a window, at a break in my apartment and the neighbor's. I remember thinking that she had to have been a bird whisperer or whatever you want to call it. I went up and said something more outgoing than I usually would, like something you would say to a girl you want to get to know more. She had a good response, with a smile. I said something else. You know, gettin points and stuff. She looked my age (17), had blonde hair, light colored clothing, and she was pretty. She seemed to had already warmed up to me and ready to hang out. As in, walking and talking, having subway, etc. Since everyone seemed to spend there time at the eating areas, hanging out, and not at their apartments.

I went past her a little to finally get into my house. That's when we realized that the door was opened, no one was supposed to be there. she moved over so i could have full access to the door. she got quiet cuz she knew what an open door meant. i put my left in front of me in a defensive position and my right hand in a ready-to-punch position. After I checked the immediate area, she came in and closed the door until it was cracked open. She stood at the door to wait for me to finish investigating. She seemed really calm. I searched the rest of the apartment to find these two random friends of my moms' laying on her bed. A man and a woman that were dating eactother. I had a run-in with these people in another dream, that same night. I didn't like them.

The girl I met outside came into the room and sat down on a chair with her feet rested on the bed. I went to go close the door that she left cracked open. When I came back, I sensed the guy was wondering what the girl's name was and that reminded me that I didn't ask yet. So i asked,"I haven't got your name yet. What's your name?" She started to talk then paused and asked,"what's your name," like 'tell me your's first then I'll tell you. As if I could do something bad to her if I knew it. But that was fine, she came off as a kinda reserved person."Justin," i answered, then in a lower voice i said,"Patterson." You could tell she still contemplated telling me for half a sec then said,"my name's Nicole." I think she told me the true. I somehow knew she was a nice, caring person; and I don't think she would lie with a straight face. The two random adults gave their names too. She said something along the lines of 'I dont like my name, its plain and boring.' 'wow she seems like a nicole too. She was somewhat reserved, nice, caring, a little weird, but not problem weird' I thought."I like your name," I said. I think a blue/white bird came up and landed on her finger then. She held it up, looked at it, said something to it, then it flew off. She had a smile on her face, you could tell she was happy to see the bird or a bird in general. I'm pretty sure she had a strong connection to birds, maybe also a goddess of birds? The random adult's two chiwawas run up to her and played with her. She was giggling and playing with them as they barked. I didnt like the chiwawas.

If I try to think about what happens after that all I can see is a big bad spirit coming in to reckon with Nicole, but I have no memory of that. And that was the last dream of the night. Needless to say I would've protected her.

Then the dream ended.

____________

I think Nicole was an actual spirit. I dont care what the skeptics think, it's not gonna change my mind. The main reason I think she was an irl spirit is because she hesitated to give me her name. All the social interactions were normal besides that. Only with spirits can having someone's first name do some damage. Plus she seemed like a bird goddess and it's possible they could come through my dream to see her. Also that she was wearing light colors on her clothing, was white, and blonde hair. All representing good, and when it comes to spirits, color most times indicates good or bad. Our friendship seemed to build pretty quickly since she would enter my house and take a seat after we 'just met.' Which leads me to think that I used to know her from the spirit-world.

All I can remember is that my friend Dayne, Nathan, my little brother, and I were at McDonalds talking to a gay guy. Im pretty uncomfortable around gay people, but I remember thinking he was pretty funny. He was the center of the time we had down there; basically because he upheld the conversation and our attention was turned to him cuz he was something we hadnt experienced before. I remember my mom walking by and stopping to grill the gay guy about not imposing his beliefs upon my little brother. The gay guy brushed her off after she left and we kept hangin out.

I have respect for gay people enough to just let them be and do what they want. I just dont like the awkwardness of being around them and wondering if theyre going to come onto me. Basically, do what you want, just dont come to me about it. I think gay people deserve a good life too, so dont bitch or try to get me banned.