GlasgowGuy

It’s night-time. I’m flying slowly along a busy street in New York, looking at the street lamps flashing blue and red. Suddenly, I see Isla Fisher chatting to a doorman of a hotel, and, wanting her attention, I fly over and zap her with an invisible force from my palm. She turns and smiles, and I land and ask why she isn’t back living in Australia. She says Australia is upstairs, then tells me to follow her into the hotel. The doors immediately lead to a lake, which stretches along the middle for miles. To its left is a massive forest, and far up to the right is a waterfall. The whole scene is surrounded by mountains in the distance. We start walking to the right, towards an elevator that rises up to the sky, and I see a tall man standing guard. As we get closer, I see it’s Clint Eastwood. At first I wonder why Clint Eastwood is working as a security guard, but soon realise he must be guarding something extremely important.

When we reach the elevator I give Clint a nod; he stares blankly at me. I try to shrug this rejection off, but then see Jack Nicholson standing in the elevator. He laughs excitedly and I realise I don’t know where the lift leads to. Becoming slightly worried at this, I look along the embankment of the lake, making sure the way is clear if I need to escape. My friend’s head suddenly pops out of the water. I walk over and, as he is pulling himself up, I tell him that I just dodged a bullet, that there something is wrong with those people. He says he knows, and that it’s starting soon. As I ask him what is starting soon, he begins to fly away, but I grab a hold of him and we both travel over the lake. Eventually he breaks free and disappears behind the mountains.

I fly over the mountains for a few miles before finally landing outside a farm. Everywhere is now grassland. Realising it’s morning, I know the farmer inside will soon be collecting eggs from the chicken coup. A plump, middle-aged man comes out of the front door. I immediately know he is a good man. In a Welsh accent, he tells me there is work available here. Thinking that I always wanted to have a job working outside, I begin to tell him that I can stay as long as he wants, but I then suddenly realise why Clint Eastwood was guarding the elevator. It’s the base-camp of the people in charge of the world; and as I know its hidden location, I am now a wanted man. I tell the farmer I can only work for the winter, as I have somewhere important to go. He frowns and says he knows war is unfortunately coming.

I walk over to the chicken coup to collect some eggs. Inside there are no chickens. As I turn to tell the farmer, I see a swarm of men in white suits flying towards him. As they swoop down, I try to blast them with the invisible force from my palm, but nothing comes out. I watch, powerless, as they grab him and fly off, before zipping back and throwing him at my feet. He is dead. As I look at his face, I realise it is my fault he has been killed. I came to this place and brought these men with me.

Angry, I fly up and am soon back at the lake. I hover above the water looking for them, then immediately sense I am being surrounded. I peek over the top of the waterfall and see snipers lying on a raft twenty yards away. I slowly float down to check behind the waterfall, then see Nathan Fillion walking down the embankment. I know he is my childhood friend. He spots me and flies over, looking anxious. He shows me a bunch of papers and says this war is all about statistics, and because I’m only one man I shouldn‘t get involved. Disappointed in his betrayal, I tell him to go away. Suddenly a soldier with a beard and long hair flies over from the side and lobs an atom bomb at me. I close my eyes and quickly summon a protective force field around my body as the bomb detonates. A couple of seconds later, I open my eyes and look around but no-one is here. I head towards the elevator, furious.

The elevator goes up one floor before reaching its destination, which is a busy restaurant. As I walk in I look around for the person in charge. I see a young woman wearing a leather jacket and I sit down beside her. She tells me that the war hasn’t fully started yet, and I immediately realise she will be harmed if I continue looking for revenge. She points to a table in the corner, where Mr Miyagi (Pat Morita) is sitting by himself. I know he is the person in charge. I walk over and he smiles and nods at me. I sit down and start eating a bowl of noodles, saying nothing.