side notes

Ah! So close so close so close... Slept 8.5 hours today, not surprising after last night's early waking, at first I thought I had no recall but then memories came in from the night from multiple scenes and did quick journal. Woke once or twice during the night but just too tired to journal.

Decided I still felt sleepy enough to try for a WILD again. Spent about an hour trying to sleep, with mantra going ("I'm dreaming" mostly) with visualization of desired scene. It was a fun scene so didn't really feel the time going by . Probably the wrong thing to do (visualizing the scene and playing with it)? Felt like I was trying to "make it happen" by holding the scene in my mind. At one point I did get some body hallucinations: like I was swinging. I could change the feeling from front/back swinging to side-to-side swinging like on a huge hammock. I know, I know, "don't fiddle with the noise, sonny." . I was on my back for all this, not my usual sleeping position.

Didn't feel like I was making progress, so I rolled over to side (usual sleeping position), and decided just to "let it happen" instead of trying to "make it happen," let go of visualisations, did my usual "go to sleep/dream" relaxing/releasing of mind/thoughts, but kept "I'm dreaming" mantra. And pretty soon my breathing became a bit shaky and laboured, my heart rate went up a bit, and my mind entered a feeling just like how lucidity feels in a DILD, yet I was totally aware as it occurred! Tried to stay relaxed and kept mantra going. Strong feeling of excitement/anticipation. But I didn't see anything except the back of my eyelids. I thought "where's the dream?" Feeling subsided a bit, and I found I could "push" back towards it a little.

Didn't make it in but that's the closest I've ever been....but jeez after an hour of visualization, no dream images waiting for me!?

Anyway, "Let it happen" seems to be the key, which is I believe just what Sageous is teaching . Also I think it's not a bad mantra...

The experience gives me confidence that I can in fact WILD! Just have to hold on to the patience longer and let the dream form...

00:00 Tuesday November 5, 2013 DILD #5!
02:25 bedtime
06:25
1) lying on ground eyes at ground level MFLd's path (to left to back yard) promising to get the sprinkers installed so all the plants will grow properly. I'm touching and looking at the plants and imagining the sprinkler heads going nearby. Lying with wife on the brick path, we're settling down for the night for sleep just down from the circle. We have to make room for the nuns to come down the path at night (imagine one walking down). S1 (current age) comes and asks me about a towel and what are my plans when I go to the gym. In the gym I give advice: calfs twice a week, it's the smallest muscle in the body. Then all the other muscles 3 times a week. A trainer is there agreeing with me. Return to the MFLds's porch. Talking to man who own's the Gs house now whom I later suspect of pulling down the chimney.
On the circle by parent's house(DS), nighttime. Standing with LDiS (old gf), I start flying (levitating while vertical) with her, holding her so she flies with me she's facing me. I very slowly fly upwards, I see the pespective changing on the lights and stars, it's fascinating. I'm saying "I always like to fly like this it's my favorite way". We go up pretty high. It's awesome. I show how the perspective changes while we can altitude. I'm flying by will, can see the lights from city and the stars. We're going far above the power lines. I ask her if she's ever flown that high before. She says maybe once or twice. I say I'll tell you a secret: I didn't used to fly this high myself. We're flying away from where we started, dark trees below, we kiss a few times. Coming down. It's daytime back at parent's house. I see the entire chimney ripped off of the house leaving a gaping hole. I'm saying "holy crap what happened here?" Like the next door neighbor who lived at the G's house had pulled a wire that was attached to the chimney and pulled it down. Wife there very upset, trying to re-install the phone wire and other wires. In front yard, lots of people around (workmen/inspectors), sitting at table with workmen with a workplan on a brown piece of paper. I'm trying to read it. The worksheet shows the progress of the repairs. Front and back side. On the back side it 's about repairing the phone lines. It's blank, I ask what's the status. I see scribbled on the paper then "must fix first". We first must fix the bathtub to upgrade it to hold 45 gallons. Wife was trying to tie the cable and the phone lines back on the house so at least the alarm would work.
Talking with some people on the G's side of the fence, they're from a TV show doing an interview. I don't want anyone to hear. We walk all the way to the bathroom window, some are following us from the group, I'm trying to tell this guy the story, I don't want to tell him that I was flying, I said I went for a walk with a lady, and ex-girlfriend whom I hadn't seen in 20 years, who is also the former girlfriend of the next-door neighbor. I'm trying to get close enough to this guy to tell him the story quietly, he keeps backing up when I step forwards to him maintaining our distance. I say "come closer", then put my hand up to my mouth so that only he can hear, that this ex GF shows up and went walking and came back then this happened. I think what they've done is disabled the alarm system and that they were casing the joint and planning to rob the house in the night. The guy agrees. Sitting at the table, a woman comments about an analogy about sex, what's the point of a little thing rubbing in another place, agreeing that the exGF showing up is suspicious.

F1) something to do with the workplace

Memories of dreams of flying over the G's house, but that's usually in the daytime and at low altitude. Decades old dreams.

06:42 (WBTB long recording) MILD over previous dream's night flight.
08:51 DILD #5

2) driving towards the mountains on teh freeways. The freeways were covered and long. I was trying to get to my favorite lake UL. I was on a open topped train, like of nothing but flatcars with nothing on top of them. my feet were barely clearing the objects immediately to the right of the tracks by inches. Very slow moving train. I had a backpack on and shorts and a t shirt and I was going to UL. I thought "what will I do when I get there? I have no camping gear or more clothes, the clothes will get smelly." I guess I have a car and so I can leave and return. I'm standing on the edge of the car barely missing things on the right. I start running along the flatcars to the right, going up and down different levels, my body is light and I'm running very quickly and easily.

3) arrived in a town with a water park. Bright daytime. Touristy looking location, tons of people. I say "oh I've arrived in XXXX" (some name of city). I didn't expect to be there so sono. I planned to enter the water park and check out the hot chicks in bikinis. Crowds of people were pushing all around me to make their way to the entrance. Some woman was annoyed and said "why are you all pushing!?". MEO. Walking up a short stairway. Go around building to the right then left. Enter the water park, my friend MR is with me. I'm annoyed by his presence that means I can't go girl watching. We enter a restaurant and look for a good table, the tables line the edges of the room only. Look all arond the room. There's a table/booth back to the right by the door. Not the best table but we go there. M sits down, my seat (on the left) is covered with chocolate syrup and a pile of melted ice cream, as is the seat in the next booth to the left. I say "my seat is covered with chocolate syrup!" They clean it. Look at seat, it's clean. I don't sit down.

F2) a guy is kicking a ball, but he violated regulations by kicking it on protected red Indian ground, he should have started kicking it over the line on the allowed ground. Someone says "you got a XXX (some nonsense word) on your shoe" to the kicking guy.

4) walking on a road, a tiny chinese girl is walking towards me and crying. Comes up and grabs my leg, I think she's lost. Almost doll sized. I pick her up and comfort her. Walk down road a bit more and find her family's house to the left. Give her back to the parents. Large family. They think that this is a nice man, not all strangers are bad. Continue walking, it's a dead end, I need to get down, trying to see how, have to walk through a garden. Looking at a park fence. I need to choose between the left playground and the right playground. They're both tiny. Bright and clean small park behind the fence. Evertying is made from shiny bright chrome, large chrome tubing. I enter park by unlatching fence, latch is strange plastic thing that pulls up off of the fence. Looking at gate mechanism for a second, it's weird. I go in and close/lock fence behind me. Walk through tiny park, basketball court big enough for 2-3 people to stand, some weird large headed chinese people are playing on this basketball court, I walk through to the road beyond.

5) leaving a bathroom where I did #2, walking in an indoor hallway outside the bathroom, imagined the smell being in the hallway. Ahead of me where there should be an archway to an intersection of hallways is a solid yellow wall. It's not supposed to be there, it's supposed to be an archway, DC friend tries to walk though the wall but hits his head. I approach the wall and think to myself "There is no wall." And imagine my body parts moving right through the wall. Doesn't work at first, try again. I imagine I just need to keep moving my body parts as if there was no wall, like it's an illusion. I make it through but the resistance is immense, like walking through taffy. Another DC comes through the wall. I say "that wall was really sticky. Really sticky." We turn to right go down hallway to a door, I say "oh, thus must mean I'm dreaming." DC smiles knowingly and he opens the door and heads outside. I follow, I think "ok this guy knows about dreaming and he's going to tell me some things!" He knowingly nods again. I have so many questions I want to ask about so many different things. Daylight outside. Everything is bright and vivid. There were people around, but not too crowded, like an outdoor college campus walking between buildings. We walk slowly, and turn to the left. I think I should stabilize. I reach down to the ground, I look at the texture of the stone/pebbly concrete and run my fingers over it, feeling the bumps. The touch sensation is a bit muted, like 75% of WL. I touch a nearby fence/railing along the side and run my fingers over the fence and feel the shapes. I think OK it's time to look at my hands, I haven't done this in a LD yet. Did hand RC. Hands were BIZARRE. Fingers transforming and pulsing while I look, becoming stumpy and growing long. clumps of mini-hands with gnarled fingers in place of fingers that look like tree roots. I'm fascinated by my hands, and while walking keep looking at them again and again. I notice that everything around, especially DCs, are so bright. Turn to the left again, a building is to the left. "Godzilla hands", twisted a zillion of them I think of my hands. I ask the guy whom I'm following "why is that? Is it some sort of impression I have of myself?" People very bright, very clear. Female DCs around, I purposefully ignore them to concentrate on stability and a long dream. Walk a bit more, turn around and look back behind me. Still looking at hands some more. I feel embarassed about these hands. I wonder if DCs can see the hands the way I see them or if they look normal to them. A female DC is inspecting her hands. Someone asks her if they look weird to her, she at first says no then embarassed says yes.

Fast transition to wake, "No!" I say. Lying on right side. Spent a minute trying to DEILD back in but decided to record. Length 2-3 minutes.

09:20 temp 18C

kiss induced lucid dream (I don't like the accompanying abbreviation, though!). Seem to be a technique I'm developing....

00:00 Weds 2013-10-23

01:28 bedtime, argh, way off schedule.
06:18
1) Flying. I’m standing on a tall hill and I take a few quick steps and launch myself into the air, arms stretched out in front of me. Slow gliding. I see beautiful, vivid, high definition, golden sparkling grasses far below, amidst golden hills (WL, saw green grass sparkling unexpectedly in the sun, blown by the wind out the window at work). I look at the beauty below me and feel the magic of flying. I’m amazed. I say, “Oh, Yeah!”. I see two rotating golden disks (large) on the ground ahead, and I spiral down to meet them. The disks are like coins that were spun on their sides and now are rotating around about to flatten out against the ground. Someone’s sitting on the disks? Wife asks “why can’t the boy sambo?”

2) Swiss army knife & chase. I’m in a place with a guy and on a counter/shelf are 3 swiss army knives. The one on the left has a special bumpy/shiny case, and had blades outside the case as well as inside. I ask “hey is that the one with the saw?” “What is the one with the two blades and the saw and the file? Is that the Mark-3, the Mark-5, or the Mark-7? I used one in boy scout camp with the file, the saw, and the two blades.” I see the guy who designed the Mark-7. I say “I love that knife, every time there was a branch in my way I would saw that thing right off.” The designer and another guy start chasing me, he’s chastising me for cutting off branches. I say “they were dead already! Only on dry, dead wood!” He’s trying to fight/bash/damage me.

3) I’m flying DO high over a ski hill, flying up the hill. I look down and see a bunch of skiers, I know them. They are supposed to stop when they reached the bottom of the beginner’s hill. My view turns at the top and stops and looks at them skiing down the hill. One friend of younger son had only one foot properly fastened into a ski. I think we should have taught them how to stop hockey-style, feet parallel. But instead of stopping at the bottom of the baby hill they continued down the advanced big hill. I was concerned that they would crash.

F1) I see Chinese guy sitting on ground against a wall his legs drawn up to his chest. I say “hey, didn’t you used to be in charge of all media?” He said he’s not any more.

F2) walking through a city

F3) a fight about a demonstration

F4) something about my sister.

There was way more leading up to F1, but it slipped away. Long sequence.

06:30 – 07:30: WBTB
09:05 DILD #4! First LD in city in shared bed! Woohoo!
4) Sitting in a car, a Ford Fairmont (old family childhood car), red interior, I imagine the insignia on the car is a Cadillac logo. I’m thinking that the neighbors will not like that we’re bringing a second car into the shared parking area. Especially such an obviously American car. I was trying to put on my sweat pants while sitting in the car, my sneakers were on, I thought that will stretch the pants and get the pants insides dirty. I parked the car far away, on the other side of a large area from the house, I think “wait a minute, I’ll take this car into work today, because it’s a second car.” I plan to drive right up to our front door and park in the parking area there and get myself ready for work and go into work. I get back in the car and get ready to drive it. A couple of girls are standing just outside the driver’s window. They’re talking. Apparently they’re muslims. One has done something nasty and is going to be expelled because she has offended allah. One of them is in the driver’s seat and I’m in the back seat, and it’s time to back up, the car starts backing up. I think “this is not safe, I can’t reach the brake pedal from here.” I climb into the front seat together with the girl and reach for the brake pedal with my foot. We’re backing up. She’s enjoying it she thinks it’s a fun thing to drive. She’s smiling. We’re driving on the road in reverse, I think this is a bad idea, I look behind and turn the wheel of the car to the right, I look outside the back of the car and a man is standing on the road. There are boxes piled up around him. Then we’re driving forwards. Now we’re sitting in the back of the Ford Fairmont station wagon. She’s wearing “skinny jeans” and her feet are pulled up to the seat, I look at her legs. I lightly touch her leg. Then I look at her. She’s a beautiful young lady. She is sitting to my left, I’m turned facing her with my left arm around her neck, her head is resting at my elbow in the crook of my arm, it’s an intimate and tender pose. I look at her and think she is beautiful. Very vivid, totally life-like vivid, high definition and clear (“more real than RL”). I lean over and kiss her. Short, light, but more than a peck, about 2-3 seconds. I feel her lips on mine. I think “I’m dreaming,” and realize I AM dreaming! I pull back and with open eyes, I’m amazed, I’m a bit surprised, a quick moment of shock, it’s so life-like. Vision is bright and clear. I look back at the girl’s face, her eyes are closed, she has a bit of mascara on, her lashes are dark black. She is radiantly beautiful, shining practically, lit in the sun. Pure and beautiful. I glance out the front windshield of the car, we’re driving through a vague wooded area, the outside of the car is fuzzy: plants, trees go by. There is no driver. I am ecstatic, overwhelmed with that feeling of young love. I can’t think of what to do, I ponder for a moment and then say/think “take off your pants” and wake up, fairly fast transition, not much time to respond with a spin. I’m lying still in bed with closed eyes, think about attempting DEILDing back in but decide to record instead. Total lucid time: 10-15 seconds.

00:00 Tues 2013-10-22
~ 01:30 (?) bedtime
03:19
1) Getting out of bed turning on the air conditioning. The A/C is a big grand piano with multiple covers not a single cover. I have to open one of the multiple flaps to get the A/C working. Wife can’t get cool she’s not comfortable. I feel the coolness of the A/C air and say “see, it’s cold, the A/C is working.” I or she says “it must be a cultural thing.”

F1) Standing outside in a large area, a truck is approaching along a long road. Truck arrives and zips around in a wide open area, I try to catch it.

F2) Receiving a medal.

06:13
2) Staying in a cheap motel. Motel is typical rectangular upside-down-U-shaped structure built around a central parking lot on some street in some city, along a busy street full of strip-malls. I’m staying on the first floor in a room at the upper right “corner” of the upside-down U, right next to the manager’s office. There is a gate between the area outside my door and the parking lot. My room is shallow but extremely wide, easily 3-4 typical motel rooms wide. The room is full of my things, stacked all over the place, it’s like I’ve moved my entire home into this room. There’s a big bed. I’m running the A/C really high. The room is cold in the morning. I have a Playboy magazine on the table, I turn it facedown. I come outside and two guys come out of the manager’s office and approach me. Sort of Hispanic looking. We go into my room. They say “your A/C is on high it’s unbalancing the whole system, you can’t do that.” The owner of the motel is there, too. I’m shocked/outraged. I say “I’ve never in my entire life had anyone in a hotel tell me that I’m using too much A/C!” I then ask, “OK, then just what is the maximum allowed setting I’m allowed to use?” They don’t answer. We leave the room, go outside. I and one of the guys, a technician, head back into the room. He’s walking in front of me. We start jumping along the tops of progressively higher series of cement domes (mushroom shaped). We’re jumping on them like a side-scrolling video game. I’m making a sound effect of “hwip Hwip HWIP!” and “blblblblblbl-BEEP-BOOP!”, “huah Huah HUAH!” the guy copies me making these sounds, too. We reenter my room. The guy start digging through my magazines, turning them over face up and looking at the covers. I say “If you keep doing that you’re going to find an ‘interesting modern magazine.’”

F3) with high school friends.

06:19 17C in room, feels pretty cold. WILD attempt, alarm goes off in 1.5 hours from now.
07:28 took a long time to relax my mind for sleep while anticipating the WILD. Eventually did and started seeing dreamlets. Wife was snoring. Time to get up now, make breakfast for family, WBTB.
~ 09:00 BTB. On the couch. Another WILD attempt.
Dreamlets: people walking down a hill, a woman’s face, cars on a road. Felt close to making it in but didn’t. WILD attempt on back, ND came on left side. Eventually feel asleep into ND:

10:19
3) Lying on some grass (parents’ house backyard? DS) with older son (as a 9-year-old boy) next to a big air mattress with a towel on top of it. Someone has stuck a twig through the towel into the air mattress (to keep the towel in place?). As soon as I approach I see the twig. I knew what the result would be. I pulled out the twig and all the air came out of the mattress. (WL, last night, the plug popped out of my air mattress while I was lying on it positioning for BTB). Next to son are two little girls on my right. On my left are an unknown older woman and man (couple). I ask son, “did you do it?” He said “no.” I turned to girls, asked “did you do it?” They didn’t answer they just looked at me with big eyes. The woman on my left commented how I was improperly interrogating the kids, called me something like “nazi.” I turn to talk to the woman, I say “I have every right to learn who ruined this very expensive air mattress!”. Her husband next to her stands up in a confrontational manner. I also stand up and step up to him, I’m not going to let him intimidate me. I step back a bit deciding a fight is not worth it, and I repeat, “I have every right to know, it is very reasonable.” The man and woman walk away. .

4) How the story was written. A famous author is sitting triumphantly in a rocking chair on the top of a hill shouting out to the people below , “For the very first time in literature, the villain has made his appearance!” He is throwing rocks down the hill. I’m DO standing down the hill a little looking up at him. There is an emotional and triumphant finale presentation where the original actresses who acted a long time ago in the story appeared and was introduced. Each one had a special name. The first one was “Kea 2 Sea” and was wearing like a lunchbox-sized-and-shaped medallion on a chain around her neck, her name was inscribed on the front of the lunchbox inside a big heart. They all approached me to be recognized, I held up my foot straight out and they touched their lunchbox amulets to the bottom of my foot, and then they bowed to me. I was incredibly touched by this special moment. There were 4 or 5 of the actresses. There was an extra actor who was also there didn’t have a special name. He was there in case they needed another actor.

F4) passing something through a small window to people in a room.

00:00 Mon 2013-10-21
01:14 bedtime, temp 17C -- 1 hour behind schedule, but I wanted to finish "Matrix Reloaded"
03:02
F1) Trying to make a destination by a certain time, ahead of others: a man and a woman, large open outdoor field. Our paths intersect, we come together, they edge ahead of me.
06:23
1) I'm standing in a hallway in a multi-level structure like a big ship. I'm talking to someone above me through the ceiling. Then someone else up through another stairway/hole in the ceiling asks about whether it's safe. I say "There's no way a return value from a toilet can harm you unless you apply the value to your body."

F2) Instrument (B). Written instructions on how to modify the instrument, how to pound the high D key into the wood in order to stabilize playing the high E.

2) standing with people in an outdoor kitchen at a tall counter. There are jars of condiments on the counter. Playing with people, singing some tunes. I hit a note very high for me with full opera quality that gets everybody's attention. It's beautiful. A conductor comes up and says, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Everybody, let's start playing this opera! He starts getting ready to conduct the opera. I'm scrambling around looking for my music. The conductor is a short and swarthy man. He's conducting and I'm looking for my notes in his pile of music and other places. I find a few excerpts but not the full notes.

F3) arriving home with a woman. I say "hey, you should give me a quick welcome home kiss." After a quick kiss then I say "that's not good enough." Then she (short-haired redhead, DS) gives me a deeper kiss with rough tongue action which is not pleasant. Then she says I'm not giving enough. (WL, Matrix Reloaded kiss scene).

3) I'm searching for a composer, who lives in an odd house, which is like small chunks of living space down a multi-level spiraling scaffolding. I start at the top very high and descend down the levels, jumping down level to level. He's talking about the piece that he's created. It's a performance piece about a man who moves on the ground like a snake, inches around. The guy is really proud of the special effect he's created, where the man moves without any visible physical means: crawling along the floor, very slowly at first, you can barely see he's moving, then he crawls faster and faster. There are a bunch of people standing in the room, and someone says "for the first time in history, people will move across a room without any visible means of movement."

06:31 MILD using these scenes. 14C temp, air matress plug popped, have to replace with another for now, looks like I'm getting a WBTB after all.
06:56 BTB
08:33
4) Driving a car at high speed through underground maze, like a huge sewer tunnel but clean and lined with huge white tiles and well-lit. Rectangular cross section. I'm driving at extremely high speed, jumping off ramps and floating through the air. I imagine that I have previously walked through this maze before. I'm avoiding people in this maze, I need to get through a gate (DS), I can't get through the gate, there is a women helping me. There are various kinds of access cards in all kinds of languages and all kinds of currency, including alien currency. We go through all kinds of cards and all kinds of thoughts but we can't open the gate. She finally looks in her purse and finds one more card, she puts it in the reader and the gate opens. We quickly turn the card reader over and read its display so we can see what kind of reader it is and how much currency is left on it. I read "FLM" or "FLAM" on the display but there is no indication of a balance. She says "there's no balance shown." We keep going.

09:35 voice recorder malfunction! 4.5 minutes of recall detail lost! SH!T! There's got to be at least several dreams in there with good detail. What a bummer. Good reason to transcribe right after getting up! From memory:

F4) Going into a room, like a dorm room, there are lots of people around. Insdie a room, at first I think there's room only for one person. The bed is to the back in a small alcove with a low roof where the bed is. I see another bed and think "ah ok this is a two-person room". The beds are on the ground. I think this used to be my room. Visiting friends at college?

10:17
5) Big strong police woman stopping people with improper packages on their cars. Guy says he can't get his window open, so she comes and lifts the entire door off with her hands. I'm driving on the driver's side, she takes off the front passenger door. She is wearing a tank top, and I see as she's flexing with arms spread out to the sides. She's muscular and I see black stubble in her armpits. I say (to a friend outside?) "damn, look at her she's BUFF! She works out! She's buff!". She throws the door down. She lets us go. Her attention turns to another motorist, whom she stops. Some woman with presents and boxes strapped to the outside of her car, around the windshield and hood, on both sides of the car. They're coming undone and she's trying to tie them back on. I think "O man she's going to get it, that cop does NOT LIKE packages strapped to the outside of cars!"

6) Rocket engine fireworks. Instead of fireworks it's a giant collection of rocket ships. I see the rocket take off with an fiery strong intense/bright yellow/orange flame out the bottom. It flies slowly up for a while, then turns down and faces towards the ground. The crowd gasps: "AAAAAaaa!". I remove myself from the immediate view area for safety behind a roof/house, and I'm moving around / peering around to fully see the flight of the rocket. Then it turns up again and separates into all of its different 4-5 smaller rocket pieces. They swoops up, down, and all around. Then they rejoin into a single rocket and goes up, up, up. Then up and down, at one point it leaves a trail of bright yellow pinpoint dots behind it as a finale, then it disappears and the show's over.

10:24 get up temp 16C, window cracked 1 inch, new heater next to bed, first setting, dial at 3 oclock (75%), good sleeping conditions, small window in kitchen cracked 1 inch open. could sleep more but time to get up. white cotton socks, 3 blankets on top of comforter.

YES, LUCID! LucasPotter, thanks for passing some of that goodness my way just like I asked . Now this is more like it, dreams more bizarre / wild / wacky than last night. Got to bed 2 hours late, woke up for the final time 9 hours after bed. I went on a long fast jog/walk today to make sure I'm ready for lots of sleep tonight.

legend: comments, normal dream, lucid dream

00:00 Saturday 2013-10-19 (country)
02:05 bedtime at last, way off schedule of 00:00, couldn't be helped, had to heat the place. With the long day including intense exercise Friday morning (swam 1km in 30 minutes), I'm falling unconscious on my feet.

07:22
1) Whale friend, I'm holding on to him in the turbulent water, I don't want to get lost in the water. I'm scraping barnacles off of the whale with a knife, sometimes I mistake a tiny piece of the whale for a barnacle. The water is beautiful blue. The whale communicates to me a feeling of safety, he won't let me get lost in the ocean. I feel a great love for this whale. I'm looking all over the body for barnacles. I'm holding on to the whale's ear (!!).

F1) I waited a long time for someone to arrive.

F2) Playing guitar.

08:59
2) Mother says "What's that red thing on your neck?" I look in mirror (face fuzzy), don't see anything at first, look again, then see a large red blue black swollen area under my right jaw. Some blue veins running through it. I'm looking in the mirror confused by this (DS). I look on my body and I see dozens of brown marks, and then snails, snails everywhere. I open my shirt and see more snails. They're arranged in lines on my body. I pluck each on of them off of me with a "pop" feeling and throw them to the ground. (WL, went to dermatologist).

3) Video game in sister's old room in parent's house (DS) in liquid. JM (former work colleague) has constructed a video game system in my sister's room. The system contains liquid. It is not finished. He wants me to help him finish the system, to provide something. I don't want to do it, because I don't want him playing loud video games in my house. The system starts working and produces a deafening sound, everyone has to shout just to be heard. Some visitors arrive and are taking a tour of our house. They don't approve of the loud sounds. I take them into my old room where it's quiet to show them around. They like this much better. "That's much more like it" they say. There are two men and a women. One of the men is freakishly tall, like over 7 1/2 feet, his head is scraping the ceiling.

F3) Toby (PR guy from West Wing) arriving to meeting another guy at a restaurant. I'm sitting in a table opposite. He says to the other guy "are we here to chat or to chit-chat?" He doesn't want smalltalk, it's an important meeting.

F4) Say goodbye to STch (family friend), she doesn't even look at me or respond and just walks by with a disapproving look on her face. She doesn't approve that I think she's hot.

F5) Playing a water-filled video game system (different than the above one) with a woman. She says how it's her favorite game and has great graphics. We're looking at it and seems like plain/cartoon graphics. I see them, it's like slowly animating cartoons. She says they're good, "they're enhanced."

F6) Body parts in a mixer/blender.

09:07 temperature 10C

10:36
4) Consulting company (I work with them sometimes) is holding a seminar in how to make money as a freelancer (WL discussion). They recommend that one great way to make money is to sign up with the "Mr. Hensen" project. This is a man who is trying to map out every major league baseball (DS) stadium in the US so he can visit each one. They say we should use Google (calendar?) but unfortunately that doesn't integrate with Google maps so we have to do some work to provide the same functionality. Mr Hensen is standing in a baseball stadium, it's night and the lights are on. He's trying to visit each stadium in the country. Somehow he needs to pay a consulting company to make them out for him. I walk by him and he pats me on the shoulder and offers some sort of reassurance.

F7) There's a woman whom I like but she doesn't like me so I'm going to be alone tonight.

F8) I'm with people sitting in an open area. The people are out of focus to my right in my peripheral vision. I think "they're making a fire".

11:09 DILD #3!!
5) A group of people are dancing. One is a young lady, very attractive, short brown hair (DS) and brown eyes. All the people are doll (large) sized. Then I reach for the doll-lady, and I'm holding the lady/doll in between my hands, one hand on each side of her body on her ribs. (Her name is Allison?) I say "I understand that you're going to be dancing with this guy over here, but when you're done dancing with him, come find me ... " while I'm saying this she grows to be fully life-size, I continue, ".. and then we'll dance ...", I begin to pull her close to me, and say, "... or ... something! ..." and we start making out. As I'm kissing her my awareness slowly grows. and I become lucid. I know I'm dreaming. Continue kissing ...a few seconds later: "I'm dreaming," I think to myself. I'm calm, no running around for me this time. I have things to do, goals to achieve. But this is so nice... (continue making out)... I'm calm, I feel aware of my waking life, I know I should stop this to achieve some goals. I feel quite pleased with myself, I have achieved lucidity *and* I'm making out with a beautiful doll-lady. I have a feeling like I'm grinning/smirking (like the "Kirk Smirk" from Star Trek when Captain Kirk is especially pleased with himself at the end of an episode). Still making out, I think to myself "Do a reality check" and I become increasingly aware of my body in bed..., and my awareness slowly transitions from the dream into WL. I'm in bed with my eyes closed. I want to go back in to achieve some goals (yeah, that's the ticket, to achieve more goals...smirk...). I try to DEILD, I haven't moved and my eyes are still closed. My shoulder hurts from my position and my other hand has needles from numbness from the position. I try for about 2 minutes but I'm quite awake, I'm already in the 9th hour after bed, and I'm very uncomfortable so I figure I'm not going to make it and reach for my phone and journal the experience. I was making out the entire time of the LD up through waking up with lips still moving . Total elapsed time lucid, about 20 seconds.

11:46 temp 9C

My dreams are normally more wild & wacky than this. Like the volleys of black arrows at the end of "organ," most are like that most of the time. These are pretty tame.

00:00 Friday October 18
00:22 bedtime
02:51 Trippy bus music, bag, messed up bus stop

1) Daytime riding near the back of a bus on old high school route approaching parent’s home about 2 stops away. There are some guys hatching some sort of plan, it involves leaving a bag on the bus. They leave the bag (like a big sports/gym bag) on the bus, I go sit next to it and put my hand through the handles. Trippy drug music plays on the bus, kind of like “HWAH WAH Wah wah…. HWAH WAH Wah wah… ” kind of wave like and I move my left hand in an up and down motion to this music (kind of like the motion of putting your hand out the window of a car, swooping up and down in the wind). As the bus descends the hill to my stop, I pull the cord to signal the stop. I get off. At the bus stop are several recycling containers overflowing with computer code print outs. It’s the results of the programming competition. The correct results are printed in black ink, the incorrect results printed in red ink. I need to figure out what happened why we got the wrong answers. There is also a bunch of food garbage strewn around on the street around the stop, the whole area is very messy with printouts and food in and around the containers. I start straightening up the bus stop. DC says “wasn’t there some other young fellow responsible for all of this? Shouldn’t he clean it up?” I agree and will let that other guy finish cleaning up.

05:06 sandwiches, play an organ, drunk, friend at work

2) Standing in a large atrium/opening with some people and a pipe organ console and an organist. After a demonstration by the organist for some students, I asked if I could play the organ, I said I wanted to be a concert pianist and play the pipe organ. The organist says “Yeah but once you get into one school it’s really hard to finish the other one,” I answer “they never tell you that, do they?” They’re reluctant to let me play it but decide to let me play it. They say “your hands need to be clean” and I think about wiping my hands on my pants, “and you need to put your butt way over here” (about 3 meters away from the keyboard, I won’t be able to reach the keys!). I want to get right up to it, then they give me a tiny toy keyboard with just some buttons on it. I want to play the famous Bach Toccata and Fugue in D minor ). I see a button marked “B-flat” on the toy keyboard and press it. The Bach piece starts playing by itself and I feel cheated that I don’t get to play it myself. The students around the organ start wildly dancing/jumping around to the organ music, and eventually they break up in to two groups and start lobbing thick volleys of black arrows back and forth at each other.

3) A group of friends and I are massively horribly drunk. I’m covered by yellow slime. I take off my shirt and see that the yellow printing on the tshirt is what is coming off on my skin. It’s a college shirt. As we’re leaving someone says “are you OK to drive?”. I consider this fairly seriously, I don’t feel all that drunk. I answer “I feel I’m pretty OK.” DC says “as long as you get to 2% it’s OK, then you can take a breathalyzer test.” I think that everyone should rip off a piece of the bar (there are poles along the bar) and use them as walking sticks.

4) At N (old company), to SC (old boss), I say “you wouldn’t let me stay in the company building on Christmas alone after closing, would you?” Sitting at a computer, not my main work place, childhood friend MR is there, I don’t want to leave him alone in the building after I leave. I’ve taken a big risk of bringing him inside. If he messes something up they’re going to trace his entrance back to me. I realize that I have 3 monitors set up already, and another one is also sitting on the desk, I could make it 4 if I wanted to.

5) In parent’s house (DS) going up back steps to garage, sister is there and she is talking about the tastiest bread, ranking the different kinds of breads. “Buttered rye, sourdough, wheat…” Then ranking them by which ones make the best toast and which ones make the best sandwiches. We’re driving out of the garage and I realize that everyone’s leaving I may get back first and they may turn on the alarm and I don’t know the code.

05:45 get up for WBTB.

06:03 BTB Room temp 16C, close windows.

Long time getting back to sleep. Fade into sleepiness several times, into and out of light sleep, no dream recall.

07:43 I’m “elected” to get up and make breakfast for everyone, just as I’m really sleepy and ready for some major dream time. Room temperature 18C.

Tues 2013-10-08 (city)
30 mins exercise morning
00:00 bedtime
fell asleep easily and quickly
04:14
F) motorcycle backing it up with folding my coat, doing some kind of check, checking the armpit
07:31
1) Driving fast in a car, fishtailing around big corners, I'm a passenger, we're chased by the cops. We arrive at the music camp, get out of the car and walk into the camp, the cops get out of the cars behind us and say "Hey guys, stop!". 3 or 4 FBI agents are trying to shock the story out of me. I turn around and see a cop pointing a gun at me in the music camp we arrived to. He almost shoots me. I turn and see a gun pointed right at my forehead almost point blank range (I see a bullet in the chamber, copper colored), and I shout "Hey!". This startles the cop who quickly points his gun down to the ground and "pop!" fires it as if he couldn't stop the reaction of pulling the trigger but he could move the aim. They're trying to shock me into confessing, I said yes I was in the car but the other guy was driving, but I was totally against what the driver was doing. Now I'm totally outraged that they almost killed me and said something like there's no way I have to cooperate now.

2) Scene in a home, my home, sitting on a laptop in living room of CU home, I'm sitting in a chair but it's way too low below the table, then I get in another chair, with arms and a cushion on the seat and this is a really comfortable chair. I'm at the right height, doing something with the laptop. Going around the house, there's another room that is like an office in a hidden place behind a door which I always wondered where that place led to. It's a private office. Going on on to the street down the driveway, a guy approaches wanting to show me something. I realize there's a neighborhood procession/walk going on. I imagine a car driving in the road, you're not allowed to pass the car that's going to make a right turn from the left lane.

3) A movie opening scene where a woman is remembering the past. I recognize the background as a stripmall near where I live. Woman meets two friends and they remember the past. I'm DO. Backdrop is stores like Taco Bell, she's sitting under a canopy / small dome lined with flowering vines. She sits there. I'm amazed that I recognize the scene.

4) Murder mystery. Sitting down in an indoor atrium at a table with a beautiful blonde woman. We're talking. I'm amazed that there's a Sichaun hot Chinese food restaurant in the atrium to my right. It has a glass front wall, can see inside. (I think the lettering actually read "Sihuan".) There's an insignia like a trident in gold on the glass. I think this symbol means spicy. I'm looking inside to see if it's open. There are people inside. Suddenly we only have one chair and she's standing, and I bring the woman to sit on my lap. We start making out. She's asking "what are the things that you like to do?" I don't want to tell her about my technical profession for fear of turning her off., she'll think I'm a geek. I'm trying to think of something clever to say to avoid this, so I tell her "I like kissing you." Scene changes. The woman was wearing a neurotoxin on her lips. My orientation switches back and forth between being the target of the murder and being a side observer. Some other of the woman's partners-in-crime are cleaning up the murder scene. They're trying to decide what to leave and what to take away. There's a plate with a single long unfinished noodle on it amid a watery bright red sauce. They leave the plate on the ground. I think of going somewhere, "Oh no," the police say, "you're not going anywhere. There's a long room (like a hotel conference room, with a long table covered by a white tablecloth) with two dead bodies on the table. The room is filled with police. They're working there trying to solve the mystery. I enter the boys locker room. I'm trying to find medication to counter the effects of the neurotoxin on the kiss. I pass by a bunch of boys at their lockers and I find my locker. There are some medical supplies inside. I take one bottle with me. There's a guard at the door. I ask him if I have what I need to get rid of the neurotoxin. He gives some advice.

5) I've arrived to a parking lot on a hill slanting down. It's snowy and slippery. My van slips and starts tumbling down the lot, turning over repeatedly. At one point it rolls over another car and I hope it won't stops in a position where it's not upright, how the hell am I going to get it upright again? I'm very upset about this, "what am I going to do?" It eventually stops, I grab a multi-gallon plastic fuel container from the passenger side window, and I can't figure out if the container holds urine or gasoline. I'm trying to smell it and can't figure it out.

6) Scene in a courtoom. The jury is made up of immensely fat women, who are bored. In perfect unison, they (4-6 of them) stand up and turn around and sit back down again, turning their backs on the courtroom. The judge instructs them not to do this so their bodies don't get tired: ergonomics. Then in a few seconds they in perfect unision stand up turn around, and sit down, facing forwards to the court again.

10:06
7) Watching something with former boss, I ask him if he's taken his school initiation yet. Watching a racquetball game (DS). Two girls are playing, they don't know the rules. The serve goes long but they keep playing the point.

8) riding a bicycle down SNR street (steep street). The street is filled with sand. I'm cooly pushing out the back wheel of the bike perpendicular to the hill (DS), and adjusting the front wheel pointing down the hill, sliding down in this manner. I go up again behind a guy on a horse.

10:11 Getting up. Some long back-to-sleeps. Could sleep more. Nice recall today! Late morning clearly a sweet spot for recall.

If can't sleep for 30 minutes, get up, go to another room, do somethin quiet, come back to bed only when fleeling sleepy.

Do not eat, read, watch TV, in bed. Only for sleep.

Go to bed at same time of day every day. And get up at same time every day.

Avoid naps.

Morning exercise is best. No closer to bed than 3 hours before.
Establish bedtime routine (warm drink, shower, short read, meditation)
Yoga/meditation/relaxation before bed.
Melatonin/Valerian. Melatonin should be cheap. Valerian can be taken every 4 hours.
Eat small bedtime snack: complex carbs, small bit of protein w/tryptophan and calcium. Avoid sugary, all carbs snack.
Calcium helps brain use tryptophan to manufacture melatonin!!!
Low sugar dairy products. Nuts. peanuts with skins, whole almonds (for more fiber), walnuts, pecans, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, pistachios, red peanuts with skins
Ground flax seeds is a big source of tryptophan.
The best bedtime snack is one that has both complex carbohydrates and protein, and perhaps some calcium
For dinner and bedtime snacks, eat a meal or snack that is high in complex carbohydrates, with a small amount of protein that contains just enough tryptophan to relax the brain
Stop working on any task an hour before bedtime to calm your brain.
Don't discuss emotional issues right before bedtime.
Avoid large meals two hours before bedtime. A light snack is fine
Valerian becomes more effective over time, so it's best to take it every night for a short period of time. Start with the lowest dose, then increase over several days' time. Valerian is considered safe to take for four to six weeks.
eat bananas, avocado, peanuts, almonds, figs, and milk-based drinks, all containing tryptophans, a precursor for creating melatonin which regulates sleep.[2] Some snacks to consider include: cookies and milk, sliced banana with chopped dates, and wholegrain bread with lettuce
Plain nonfat yogurt for best calcium. Then cheese, milk,

2013-10-04 (day city, night country alone)

exercise: weights & 30 mins cardio
01:07 bedtime
02:41 (still trying to fall asleep? Didn't seem so long, maybe slept and woke up)
04:02
In a car. Cars were parking but crashing into buildings on right side of road up against the stores.

Riding down a sandy hill on a (motorbike? bicycle?)

walking/riding down a dark road, half muddy on the right. I'm following some people, I ask "does anybody want to get the newspaper?". Someone coming up behind me on a bicycle, meeting us there. Nobody responding to me.

04:02 MILD based on last scenes
08:21 woke earlier, had some recall, didn't get it recorded. Woke up, read in bed.
11:12 trying for a nap
13:30

My cat turned almost entirely white. 80% of her lower body. Head and chest area is still colored correctly. I'm very confused, trying to think how this could have happened. I'm concerned it might be sick. I look at the fur and I run my hand through her short white fur backwards (from tail to head), I see the texture of her fur, looks realistic. Handed the cat to someone, here comfort her. The cat was batting a kitten's face. It was trying to get the kitten to do something. I was astonished that the cat was making intricate gestures with her paws (fingers?) to try to get the other kitten to do something. The kitten was slghtly sticking out its tongue. I mimiced these movements, like a "come here" gesture hooking a finger, first one way, then with the finger upside down. Imagined petting my cat while falling asleep at nap.

In a house with a crazy family, "Don't wake up uncle John," sitting on a couch in that house. Turns out it was the mother who was big fat and crazy. I see them emerge from a room above the living room.

Swimming pool down below me. Water polo, the coach had been fired. They're playing a game in the pool, coach bad-mouthed someone. There are a lot of kids in the pool, it's pretty full. A ball or something flies up and hits me? The young guy who has the ball in the water polo game stands up, he's working really hard to do something, physically,

At a large party in a large open house / atrium. There's an annoying guy in a blue suit. I pass him and say something about "blue man." He and his friends make some joke about me and start cracking up, he's literally ROTFL. I think shooting an arrow through his head or his heart to see how he'd laugh, then. I ignore them.

Teeth falling out. A bunch of teeth were falling out, went into bathroom, confused at what was heppening, I'm trying to put them back in, I feel the empty spot in my mouth with my tongue. Someone's bothering me while I'm trying to put them back in.

Walking by some woman, trying to push my way by. I had walked by her earlier and told her some numbers. There had been a show downstairs, (and a room near the show, where there was a teenage orgy?) where schoolkids were lined up sitting on top of a very wide 3-foot-high storage cabinet, each little spot had two holes. The kids were supposed to do a little presentation, say something to the kids in the room in order to prompt the kids in the room to come out and look at them, and then disappear down the hole into the cabinet, hidden, and the older kids in the orgy room were supposed to come out and wonder where the little kids went. A teacher arrives with a line of other little kids to perform on the cabinet (or watch). They said some numbers. The woman who stopped me said, "were those the same numbers that you told me before?" She (and I) was amazed that I had predicted the future with these numbers.

Woman in a nurse outfit, dressed up as an actor/performer. Outside on a street. She was going around getting people to sign up for her show.

With WW, watching an opera performance in a (cafe? room?). I see the singers keep entering the stage enter and sing. They look like 19th century fancy people. I see their hair. Sitting right in front of a stage. It had to do with speaking English, and rich people could get on the Concorde (airplane). Stewardesses said there still were some seats left, going to (Paris?).

Woke up slowly, still felt groggy, like I could have slept more, but decided to get up so as not to ruin the sleep schedule. Tried a bit of FILD. Thought of ping pong as a relaxation (first person view more relaxing), thinking about the sound as well as the visuals. Lots of little dreamlets, one which i brought back after fading briefly, they vanish when I focus on them.

Room was too cold at night, couldn't relax. Slept way better for nap once I put on warm socks.

Seeing scenes of dreams I saw many years ago and had forgotten as I'm falling asleep.

Stay positive about sleep!

Cat, and other parts of dreams came from incubation thoughts!

I wish I could have become lucid, so I could lightsaber chop the laughing blue man in half .

Late morning REMs are long and recall is great at this time!