task of the month

6/2/14* TOTM basic Iⅈ good waking memory. We are stranded in a small town at night but there are lots of people around like a party or event. My wife's friend "J" is on the way to pick us up. I have a nickname for her: "JTB" and I remembered it and addressed her with the nickname as she arrived quite quickly in a truck with advertising decals on it. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and it immediately made me think of the task of the month and fully realize that this is a dream. I looked over to her left and there was a young guy maybe 16-18 baby faced blonde hair and I went over to him and kissed him on the cheek. And then I turn around and look for someone else to do the next task and I found a big tall imposing guy, he would make a good target for the repeat task. I ask him to say something. He simply says "take" so I repeat back to him take about 20 times and towards the end I said "and take" which felt like I messed up being able to take it longer because I added an "and" in there (he just stood there looking at me and nodding his head). I stop there and was considering the next task when I found myself fading back to bed. I didn't incubate the tasks I just thought about them more like a list but I think I will incubate/day rehearse the advanced ones, the bonus and the June special. 157

5/13/14*! ~1020 150-2:30 NLD recall+wakefulness 4:10wake from LD up til ~5am DJ+windows. ~6:15; More recall, 735 up

Notes: Went to bed a little early and early wake back to bed after only sleeping 3.5 hours but did not do much except think about my recent dream scenario/taking control/being bold DILDs and visualizing it happening again and becoming lucid. Also right before bed I do my simulation of the levitation RC and visualizing moving straight to the task of the month.

I am in a movie theater / restaurant (it was one and then the other) and I head to the bathroom where (on the way) there is a sign that says something like "additional bathrooms to the left with additional amenities!" But I go to the closer one right in front of me am I standing at the urinal when over to the left I see there are a couple of women in another wing of the bathroom taking a peek at me and I let them have a little look but I still don't quite realize I am dreaming yet. I come out and C (wife of A) is in the hall and asked me to wait but I mostly ignore her and I look over into a room down the hall and I think "that looks like M" one of my wife's good friends. I also see M by the same name who is one of my son's friends and that's when I realize this must be a dream to see both of them together in the same odd place (as opposed to a party at my house or something). I say something to that effect and I try to levitate and at first it feels
more like my simulation but then I try again with more intention and confidence and it works. I float up into the air and fly-float around the room. I continue into another room down the hall already thinking about the musical performance task of the month and there is a band already playing and an empty drum set but no drumsticks and there is a crowd gathered set up more like a cocktail lounge with tables throughout and for the most part 2 people at each table, small round tables throughout the room. I tap on the empty drum set with my finger and then turn around and face the audience and start air drumming while imagining the song and while feeling the strong emotion of it: "I can feel it coming in the air tonight" by Phil Collins as planned. The drums start to appear although a little fuzzy and I keep playing and having a blast. Recalling the additional specifics of the task, I look around at the room for the reaction and the crowd seems mostly disinterested, not paying attention. Each table seems to be talking amongst themselves. (Later after the transition in the dream I try to think of another task and I decide against trying the Limerick and I think was it something to do with getting or giving a flower, no there was Sivason's idea of creating a field of flowers but that didn't become one of the tasks, never mind just have some fun. Back to the transition.) I feel the scene fading but I still feel firmly in dreamland and I start spinning and it works again! I think the trick for me now and why I have time to do the spin is that I no longer believe that just because the scene is fading that I have to wake up)! This time I do not think of anything specific but after a short while I start to feel the sensation of floating in water (again) and the sound of the ocean, and again I tell myself I will end up in shallow water and sure enough after what feels like 10-15 seconds later I'm at the foot of the beach and look back at the water. In the
water there are two yellow objects: a small one close by and a large one that looks like an empty raft further out. I decide to go check out the smaller one close by and go back into the water and grab it and it is one of those kid's arm-floaties perhaps another childhood memory. I love smelling those rubber items because they remind me of summer water toys that have that distinct strong chemical smell and remind me of wonderful summers past . I get caught in the tide a little bit but I'm slowly being pushed closer and closer to shore before I decide to just fly / zoom on out of the water and on to the shore. I look back out to the water again and there is a big group of what I assume are natives coming ashore. They seem like a lightly dressed but advanced civilization due to their hover-like boats that they come in to shore on (& later by the way that they talk), each with their own "boat" for the most part, a few with small kids along for the ride. They don't seem to see me at first and just come on to the shore in front of me and start walking over to my right. I call out to them and one man who seems to be the leader of the group comes over to me. I ask if they can bring me two of their most beautiful women. Just behind and next to him is a beautiful woman that looks quite a bit like Natalie Portman and I say she will be perfect. She walks over to me and seems fascinated by my mole as if it is some kind of sign and she kisses me on the lips. The leader guy may be with her and he looks a little jealous and he walks over to me also taking note of the mole and reaches around to the back of my neck and feels the bone protruding at the base of the back of my neck and seems to determine something from that and looks at me like I am strange and not like them. I tell him I come from a different time and place. It seems like a different time because it feels like if it were on earth it would be something similar to an Egyptian civilization but perhaps I'm not even on earth in this dream, thus a different place. This woman is so beautiful and I just hold her standing side by side admiring her body and touching her firm buttocks. She's wearing something like an intricate string bikini with lots of extra strings/straps wrapping around her waist area and connected to the bottom piece and something similar to her top covering but less strings/straps at top. It is beige in color as is the clothing of all of them. She is a great kisser! I start looking for the second woman and there is a younger one on the ground half-naked with no top on and while looking around and all the people I start to fade back to bed and can tell that I am clearly awake now. What an awesome dream! 146

I later had a false awakening where I was writing down my sports dream where the other player cheated in order to score. While reviewing the notes I noticed that what I wrote didn't make sense and I woke up.

I will be brief on these 2 sexual LDs:
5/9: cute woman, see her naked backside at beach and feel bold and recognize that as a dream scenario=DILD, I went over to her and she gave me a very realistic bj, a very good bj that felt like it would be "professional." Another couple came in and the lady was very cute and was right next to me so I tried to reach back and open up her blouse while getting the bj from the original cute woman but the guy with her took her away. The bj portion lasted several minutes at least. 144

5/10 ex's family (talked about her this day) cg peeking at me changing, feeling frisky but don't yet realize I'm dreaming and go to bed in the dream: in dream wild...wow I think, I started dreaming quick!...as soon as my head hit the pillow! I'm dreaming! Same room cg + other women. Put her hands down my pants and go for a while before seeing another beautiful woman and walking over to her putting her hands down my pants feeling her "ahem" moist through her underwear and then we both get naked and I put it in and out slowly and I talk dirty to her and she loves it. Nice lengthy LD. 145

5/5/14* Epic for me!..the part I am referring to starts at the ocean/beach further into the first lucid (blue) section. Got a great balance of self-awareness and dream environment attention and vividness! Weirdness induced second night in a row, but this time intentionally. This may be too personally felt for anyone else to get it. Also I was getting HH's while wife was getting up to get ready and there are only two of us in the house but I could hear the door closing on the other side of the house at the same time I felt my bed bouncing a little bit like when someone gets in or out of bed and that was a little bit freaky but I took it as HH's and I stay calm (which was it...was the bed movement or the door closing the HH...or both? ha ha!). Dream: We are in a big group seem to be traveling and we are in like a passport or visa line in Paris (the dream tells me this but I am not sure how, perhaps from earlier in the dream) but I am disappointed to see that we arrived in one of the suburbs and at first there is a huge line I see over to the left and I hope that that is not the line we're getting in but no we are dropped off to another place. There doesn't seem to be a line and we just have to go down this series of stairs, more and more stairs until finally I'm in this line but it is an amusement park line for some ride. It is a train of 4 to 6 cars each half-dome shaped with space for two. I've lost everyone except for one girl that is with us. But then I notice that I got out of line somehow on the exit side of the ride and the ride operator wouldn't let me get back on with the person I was with so now she was on the ride and taking off and the ride operator said something smart and I got upset at him and I thought it makes me just want to punch the guy and as I think about actually punching him I realize wait a minute that's a dream-like scenario taking control and punching someone and I realize I'm dreaming and I think about the musical performance task of the month and how I had already planned on doing it, but first I punch the guy. So I start playing air guitar and I the guitar appears and then I started doing air drums imagining the song by Phil Collins "I can feel it coming in the air tonight" I forget the title. Everything goes fuzzy but the crowd, I can start to hear the crowd getting louder and louder forming around me and there was already a crowd in the line of the ride but then I imagine them cheering and continue playing the drums and I am having a blast when I feel the dreamscape fading and I remember to try to spin and I fade into the void. In the void I tried to go back to where I was, with me performing, but nothing was happening fast enough so I remember my old reliable happy place, an ocean beach. As I imagine the scene I can start to hear ocean waves very gentle but repetitive rolling in along with seagulls calling and I patiently wait and it feels like I'm starting to float in slightly undulating water and I decide I don't want it to be too deep I want to be close to shore so I can explore the land and I do feel the water shallow...success! I feel the water up to my shins and the scene appears around me it is a grassy ocean with long green something not really kelp but it looks more like thick green grass and it grows above the surface of the very calm waters a little bit maybe half a foot or so and at the edge of the short beach (or high tide) it is like a big ruins wall with an arch opening in it and a column rising up from it up to the right. It looks like what remains of a wall or maybe the façade of a structure. It is maybe 50 yards wide (~50 meters) and maybe 25 or 30 yards high. I decide to fly up to the top of it and have a look around on top of the ruins. At the top of one smaller column I take a closer look and notice that the bricks are made of thin layers of tiny bricks joined together in sheets almost, kind of like reddish adobe clay perhaps, each layer is very intricate there is what I estimate to be about 10 little bricks going across one way with a thin connecting layer between each and then I guess that it must be about 10 going across the other way but when I count I get beyond 12 and I think that there are a few more than that and this layer of connected bricks looks to be only about a quarter-inch thick and it is pliable and I'm kind of messing it up like it is not dry yet and I decide to move on. I fly up over the wall and there are so many miniature things, toys and what not and I fly over to another ruin wall and stop and then fly down again to take a closer look there's this one set of toys that is all in an Arabian theme. There are several guys on camels and they look like royalty, nicely dressed with attire hooded over their head as you might expect from some Arabian tales and not dissimilar to the wise men typically seen in a nativity scene. These are very nice figurines. They were obviously set up in an array perhaps like a kid might set up to play with but neatly or like set up for a museum miniature display. These figures look like they were a good 12-18 inches tall or so. I'm really loving this and decide to keep exploring and go past one of the other ruins and it becomes like a room with a little window box on the far end and more displays inside there. I think about whether or not to fly or phase into that window box display thing but I just think why?..it could cause complications for the stability of the dream. I turn around and there are so many different things in this room and as I head towards the door-like opening I see there is a big glass display case like a curio cabinet and I can see part of my reflection and I notice I'm only wearing underwear and I say well let's see what my thing looks like in this dream. I pull down my underwear and it is kind of a retracted and not much 2 speak of...more like a child's. This dreamscape is so fascinating (and I think that it is some kind of representation of my child-like fantasies of exploring ancient ruins and also the imagination that went along with playing with toy figurines when I was a kid. This was a feeling I recently recaptured when doing the open beta exercises. It is like how when you were a kid you could look at an area under a bush and imagine it as a cool world for your figurines to play in or for your toy soldiers to fight in and I think that is how this world came to be even though I started off imagining the beach and got the beach with the grassy ocean.) As I go on through the door-like arch the dream feels like it is fading but I decided not to fight it because I don't want to forget all of the details of the dreamscape I just explored or the dream before with me performing musically. When I woke up I was quite pleased with myself, and though it may not sound that interesting to many people, it was utterly fascinating to me and I absolutely loved it! It felt like playing somewhere in my subconscious! I can imagine that this is one of those dreams that may only mean a lot to me. I also don't want to consider counting it as TOTM completion because I have more I want to do with that task and I am afraid I won't go back to it if I already have the wings. Awesome fun! 142

Never put last nights LD in my DJ:
5/4* (copying from the TOTM post. I was on a cruise ship vacation in two different dreams this night but only including the TOTM related one here.)

Had an attempt at advanced ii...but I am most happy with my self-awareness during the LD and also breaking away from my typical LD slant (though that kind of sexual thinking helped me realize it was a dream).

I am back on the cruise ship and I see some movement involving a woman in this big glass windowed room/atrium and I think about going in but then it occurs to me that this is a dream scenario for me...I might be...I must be...yeah...I will float up and prove it to myself. Sure enough I float up maybe 20 feet in the air and think that this is a great location to do the musical performance task in front of a large audience on a cruise ship. (Dream control poison removed to protect the dream schema of the innocent). I am now flying over an odd version of a vast ocean. Instead of a realistic ocean it is very light blue for as far as I can see in all directions with symbols in a symmetrical pattern throughout. The repeating symbol was kind of like a yin & yang symbol but with a dolphin on one side and a graphical representation of a wave on the other. I try flying in different directions and still thinking about how to find a large audience and I tell myself that I will begin seeing a city. The seascape starts to change but instead of starting to see a city I suddenly find myself in a large dark, dusty room with a fireplace mantle on one end and a few decorations hanging around it and several old dusty chairs sitting on the right and left side of the room. I find this very interesting to have such a drastic change in scene and look around in amazement. This place looks most like an abandoned retirement home and I feel like this room is probably the recreational room where they would play bingo and what not. I decide that I can still make this work, I just need to summon a bunch of people like I did in last months TOTM, but I tried to summon everyone in with one idea. The idea was that I could hear the crowd building and cheering flowing into the room and I could start to hear it when I felt the dream quickly dissipate. Perhaps I should have brought groups of people in, one at a time, like I did last month thinking I may have tried to do too much at once or perhaps I was coming to the end of my REM anyway. 141

4/13, 4/19, 4/21

4/13/14* 1225+ 2? 620 while trying to wild I have an FA where I am writing an interesting line from my previous dream in my bedside dream journal and my wife pinches me in the butt as if to say what are you doing writing again in the middle of the night? After a moment I realize it is a false awakening (didn't count this one in my LD count as I think I quickly fell asleep in the FA) and later when I do wake up I remember it and I remember most of the line I was trying to write down because I was repeating it in my head during the false awakening . It was like one of those guys (I forget what you call them the guy is there to lure you in at a circus sideshow) and he was saying "step right up, come right in, come one come all. Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages behold the magnificent Ruska something something tuska?"...some kind of ryhme that I found to be funny and I did not want to forget. Then on to remembering my dream after the false awakening that led to a dild...

My wife, my nephew & I are at some shopping mall and we are getting ready to head back home and I tease my nephew who seemed ready to go saying it will only take about 4.5 hours to get home. (Funny 4.5 hours just like my favorite wake back to bed time.) I turn around through the parking lot trying to go out a different way but suddenly I see an image of my side door to the garage and realize that is strange since we're not home yet could this be a dream? I'm confused for a moment. I told my wife that she better drive home and I will fly home in case this is some kind of vision of a break in that is really happening (doh!) and then I say wait a minute...fly...of course yes I am dreaming and I fly. I am back at home, most like waking life home and I tell myself to forget about the broken door since I am dreaming. I hear a woman singing lightly like she was following along with a song on the radio and I float/fly up over the fence and I do not see her in
the side yard. I look up and see an open window and float up there to the second story and inside I see a man with his two young sons in a bedroom and I think of the prank task of the month and I say hey to one of the kids and duck out of sight like I am leaving but then I pop back up and scare the boy. I then go on to a lot of fun first calling the wife in to the room simply calling out hey wife come here and she even answers something like yes honey and comes into the room...at this point the father and kids disappear and I summon additional people doing additional fun games with them but not really pranks and I summon two more sets of people until the room was full with a lot of people. I may break down the details later in my dream journal...but it is a little embarrassing...nothing new I guess for my dream journal. (Ok so it basically was creating an orgy scene but the first time I just said let's bring over a bunch of the couple's friends. The
attractiveness of the friends was not too good so for the 2nd set I said all of your beautiful friends and have them undress. It was still a mixed group of beautiful and not so beautiful people laying all over each other. I would say there were 20 or more people in the room. As I am looking at my creation still floating outside the open window. Before the orgy scene I had the wife undress. She was a little over weight but had very nice large breasts.) 133

4/19* ~1130 230? 5? 620-7late wbtb/nap light oatmeal. I am attempting to wild and I eventually get vibrations and I stay patient. It turns into a false awakening waking up on a couch at the top of the stairs in a house most like my current one. My son is sitting next to me on the couch. I can hear someone downstairs and I can see from my spot on the couch a woman down below although her face is just out of view. She is wearing black tights with a floral print. At first I wonder if it is "A" from up north but then I figured out it is and/or willed her to be "B" when she was in her 20's. This frisky thinking seemed to dematerialize my clothes which felt awkward for a moment with my son next to me but it's a dream I remind myself. As I am considering my next move, I lose the dream. WILDs..sometimes too fragile for me! 134

4/21* 11-1130 half awake. Set intention to wake at 4.5 hours and close! ~3:47 for wbtb, 6 wake from LD. Apple juice before bed. Nice and vivid NLDs before my DEILD. Clear, feeling the sun on my skin and the heat in the air, "knowing" it was midday around noon at a golf course with wife in golf attire. Later I think I had my 2nd case of true SP. It led to a DEILD! I was awoken by something and felt like I was being held down, but after trying to move and not being able to, I realized the situation and stayed calm and turned it positive! I have felt heaviness several times before but usually recognize the feeling before attempting to struggle so some of those may have been different. I started imagining a beautiful woman was on top of me and sure enough, very nice! She is also the same nationality as my wife. We have full blown realistic feeling sex in a large hotel room bed, apparently continuing the travelling/vacation theme from earlier. She eventually walks out of the
room satisfied and another gorgeous woman walks in with sound equipment and wiring wearing one piece jumpsuit with a tool belt and she asks me if my ahem is under those sheets where I am still completely naked. She is also the same nationality as my wife and she uses a term in their language for my ahem. I say yes and she takes a look. I actually plan on leaving the room and was telling her that I just finished up with the woman that just left and may be spent. She remarks that it doesn't look that way, you look ready. I say you are right, why not. We have full blown realistic sex also. I can't get over the realism and her sexiness. Wake around 6 smiling big. Some more late dreams with my typical (but not always) late morning fogginess. 135

3/4*!
I feel like this earlier dream was an important reminder (from my subconscious I assume) to let the family of the deceased know that they are still in our thoughts and prayers(done this morning!). The deceased died very unexpectedly and way too young! In it I dreamed of M from A again, along with G who died almost 5 years ago this month (I think he was memorialized in dream the night before (foggy memory night before) that also had M from A for sure and who ties in closely with G). Yesterday it seemed like his name might have memorialized on jerseys which were green and blue. Tonight it was a memorial in a grassy hilly area and M gave me a State tie pin that was supposed to be connected to G.

DILD: there is a party with family there and quite a few unknown people, quite crowded in some version of M Blvd but not really, perhaps my childhood home had some elements here as well. Someone says hey that sounds like a baby, do you hear that? I look around and I also then hear the crying and look down over my left shoulder and see very small baby newborn in a carrier on the ground. I go to pick up the baby with a big smile and very happy but then I realize that this baby showed up out of the blue and that I am definitely dreaming. I think of DutchRaptor-style tests of lucidity level and think to myself, since I am dreaming I have no problem dropping this baby back to the ground (from about 2 feet up) and I did so but it felt awkward and wrong before reminding myself...hey it's just a dream, move on. I think of the basic TOTM and I walk over from the living room to the kitchen and ask a female DC what her middle name is, there is a delay and I say nicely, I just need a name, your middle name. She says what sounds like "Frando." Then I am feeling a bit frisky and go around the house looking for an attractive DC passing my brother in law (one who moved about 1 year ago) and mother in law in a family room type area behind the kitchen and to the right of that my son is half awake on a bed in an odd spot in the open asking me what I am doing but I just keep going. I circle back around to the kitchen and two of my son's college age friends are there and I think, why not. I start kissing one after some flirtation and she gets a little too tongue-y for my taste and the other friend joins in kissing me as well...it becomes a little odd (too much tongue) and I fly up and out of the house. Looking at the night sky I think of the Bonus TOTM, alien abduction. I decide I will call out for them to come and get me but my voice doesn't come out right and it is garbled and I think that I was just talking to the DC with the middle name after becoming lucid, perhaps my SC doesn't want me to call out for aliens?? I think what the heck and I try again and I can talk clearly: "Aliens, come and get me" as I am floating maybe 200 feet up. I see a orangish-red circular coloration in the sky with a smaller circle in the middle but definitely not a ship, more like an aurora and nothing is happening so I say it again and then move on. I fly back down over a country-like neighborhood with maybe 4 houses including the one I came out of with the party. There is lots of space and land in-between and green rolling hills lit up in what looks like moon-light though I hadn't seen a moon so far. Out in front of one of the homes up and to the left from my downward view I see a woman in a long flowing gown with a young child just behind her and I swoop down. We talk and there is an obvious connection between us, I tell her that she is very beautiful. She looks a little like Scarlett Johansson (who I have been incubating an image of) but her cheeks are less pronounced and her nose more narrow. She grabs my hand and says, let me show you to your room. I say that I would like to stay with her and she says "but I have the kids (two) to look after" and I say that I can help her look after them but first I lean in for a kiss and we have a passionate kiss and I am so enthralled by the realism. I can hardly believe this is only a dream. She is so beautiful, she is so natural and not the least bit mindless and as we start to get on towards more sexual activity there in the moonlit grass I return to bed and I can tell that I am fully awake and there is no going back in but I am smiling from ear to ear, very enthralled. Perhaps this was my SC giving me a "true love" DC related to last months TOTM.

A little different:
Awareness work type: retracing my steps (&looking at myself from the outside)
Pre bed: quick review of recent dream signs: stars, tram/variation, my fam, ex's
wbtb: none planned but trouble sleeping around 6.5 hours(odd cycle, REM rebound?)

2/10/14 Excited and carefree witnessing the end of the world. Exhilirating non-lucid turned lucid (dild)..."overjoyed!!?" is what I wrote in my bedside journal.- It might have been influenced by day residue of seeing a listing for the movie Melancholia in my on screen guide over the weekend and recalling the movie of which I had seen parts of (featuring a glowingly beautiful and bare Kirsten Dunst in one scene). I guess I need to go back and watch the whole movie. Very unusual awakenings tonight either due to an unusual (for me) and more extensive pre-sleep/in bed/closed eye review of recent dream signs, day recall, and some mantras and visualization of diving off a cliff softly onto a beach and floating back up, repeat. Unusual awakening #1 was after only 1 hour of sleep and directly from a non lucid dream. I don't remember waking up that quickly after going to bed anytime at least in the last year. Unusual awakening #2 was 40 minutes later (perhaps end of normal 90 minute cycle with some interruption time in between making it approximately 100 minutes from going to bed.)

Earliest possible part of dream was in a version of my office where I always seem to be coming back from training sessions and SC (who I haven't seen in a long time) was in a cubicle nearby and I could hear her leaving me a voicemail (could hear by way of the sound travelling from her mouth a short distance across the room). Possible transition or new dream to a group setting perhaps in a conference room with families present and someone hands me a camera asking me to take pictures of everyone. I see two cute babies across on the far side of the room and zoom in on them and snap a shot but the baby on the left's head disappears. I think "what?" but my mind fills in an explanation "ah, the baby tilted her head behind the other baby's head...there it is now" (or very similar thought). Moments later, while looking at the front of the camera it accidentally takes a picture and I look at the screen and it features a woman in the room looking provocatively towards the camera and her dress is purposely revealing in more ways than one. This scene somehow transitions to a large group walking outside at night time. The provocateur is there with her boyfriend and my wife just in front of me. The provocateur walks close to me and then in front of me as if she wants me to check her out and I grab her from behind in a flirty way but then move to my wife and grab her from behind in a loving way. I can hear someone talking about how some planet (or other celestial object) is crashing into Earth and I am looking into the sky. Everyone starts running but my wife and I seem to have no fear more like a joyful running through this field and there are flashes in the sky, beautiful flashes and I realize that I am definitely dreaming. My wife says something like "lets make love one last time" and we are now running in a different direction from the group deep into the field for privacy I assume. I remember the TOTM (true love) but I think I said it wrong or she heard me wrong and she answered "It is to give others what you can not." I remember thinking that perhaps she meant "give what you think you are not able to give." I woke up shortly after and just had to write it down before trying to re-enter that dream or any dreams. The most memorable part for me was running through that field and looking up at the sky lighting up...breath-taking! Afterwards I managed to get various dreamlets of 2 to 10 seconds in length, some of which I found fascinating at the time but eventually had to get up. 105

Got lucid at the very end of a dream 2/8/14 but decided not to count it. It involved my computer acting strange (dild) but my awareness was low as it had been recently until this morning.

1/11*? + *!!! Wow! Had a great wild. Previously I am fairly sure I wild into a dream of me doing the ssild cycles thinking I'm still awake but not true LD since I didn't realize already asleep but was conscious of my last known condition-attempting a wild in bed...just waiting for a dream to start. I suspect this because of the amount of time that has passed and I get up go to the bathroom and go back to bed. I then think maybe what I experienced right before I woke up was hypnopompic...voices and vibrations. It feels like I may not be too far from REM because it is later in the morning maybe just over 7 hours after first going to bed. Sure enough it doesn't take long to start getting a dreamy feeling and HH audio first I wonder if it is my wife saying something to me or talking in her sleep but then I hear what sounds more like a crowd of people talking. I feel like I'm close and I decide to try to move my dream hands and sure enough I get a glimpse of
my dream hands then a good view of them. But it seems like my dream isn't ready like I am in the void. Could this be delta sleep on the way to REM instead? I recall what Sageous said about having a specific scene in mind on wild attempts. My go to scene is a beach. Visualize a beach but it is not anything like what I wanted. I do closed eye teleporting or changing of the beach scene maybe six to seven times. Most of the first scenes were night time and then I got one with a very odd creature in the water and I say no on earth, but had morning light! Close eyes again and say no I want white sand! I get it and sunny! I decide to go in the buff but at first the ladies are in bikinis. There should be nude waitresses...thank you. I pick one out she looks mildly Polynesian perhaps mixed with white. She is beautiful. We get straight down to intercourse. I have a pre-orgasm like feeling and decide I want to spawn the woman I met two nights ago but then I say no let me do the task of the month - I'm already by a body of water. I only think of the water in my immediate view so as to block out the idea that I can't freeze this body of water or that it may be too big or something. Like in my previous attempt I hold out my hands superhero style and freeze the water and I quickly spawn pointed saw again cutting a hole in the ice super fast pushing the ice down and over under the ice sheet and I quickly spawn fishing pole with bait already attached as planned, drop the line in the hole and very quickly start to feel a tug though not really strong. I fished out a purple fish or eel like creature! I was rushing through this process expecting I may not have too much time and this expectation creates a false awakening what at first I thought was my actual awakening. I was lying in bed recalling my wonderful LD for several minutes before waking into another false awakening in church at the funeral we're going to today! Awesome!

Previously most significant dream I was extremely angry at a company I am dealing with in real life. I do not remember last time I felt this much anger during a dream. No idea where this emotion came from! Perhaps it was due to an underlying fear that something would go wrong with this business and I got a phone call during the dream and my mind thought one of the possible reasons for me receiving a phone call and created the scenario which then brought up the real anger I would have felt in real life if I got that call! I hope this was not a premonition ! It is probably just due to the fear. 97; 96 was short paper journal

*Anyone reading this, to encourage me to keep up my DJ online I am going to start to paraphrase many of my entries...too much work for me at the moment*

1230? ~545-620? ~7am=wake from DILD, vibration mantra, SSILD, sleepy mantra. #95

Awareness DILD after ~5hour, wbtb. Once again I have a driving DILD. I am looking at my dashboard wondering why it is one solid dashboard without any of the normal items, not any of the plethora of items on my dashboard...nothing! Confusion for a second, then, I am dreaming! I very quickly decide to fly up out of the car (my mindset is...the car is immaterial, kind of like "there is no spoon" from The Matrix). I fly around but it is dark and I decide to fly up into space again stopping to look back down at Earth. The view is a little fuzzy. I decide to try out the Bonus TOTM. I fly back down look for a body of water, hold out my hands superhero style and freeze it. I spawn a pointed saw and start to cut a hole before I end up fading back to bed. Lasted maybe several minutes.

Edit: to add record of short dild during morning nap. I don't plan to count this one. After a few hours I went back to bed and had an awareness dild just before waking. I had just ran into the house taking cover from geese flying overhead shut the door and shortly after heard a wood chipper going at what felt like the early morning and I realized I must be dreaming before waking up.

110213**+ 1030 ~3 mini-wbtb ~5 wbtb SSILD WILD. On my first noticed awakening I only remember a fragment of a dream where I was wondering why would the church be teaching this(what?, I wonder if it was LD related as it feels like I forgot something important). I remember a title or something: "Witchcraft in the Church." I get up go to the bathroom remind myself the date and quick review of goals and go back to bed and do my variation of SSILD cycles...shorter version. I get the HH visuals fairly quickly and am mostly letting them float by but attempt to engage a few of them later on. Eventually I get one with N's friend M in it...usually they don't make any sense or are not recognizable so I engage this one but was probably already dreaming whether I engaged it or not. M is sitting on the ground in a flirty pose in a dress with her left knee up and the other laying mostly flat exposing her underwear. Another woman thinking it is unintentional tries to push her dress down with her foot but M lifts up her knee again and this time I can see even more clearly...white lacey underwear. Knowing this is a dream I tell her to remove them with my thoughts. Next thing I know we are both completely naked and sitting on a seat or could it have been a toilet (weird) but we were rubbing out bodies together enjoying each others naked skin on skin when I woke up. I turn over and write down my lucid and I get up go to the bathroom, go to my home office where I thought about reading a few pages from "Are You Dreaming" but realize the light will be too bright and is shining across the hall and might wake my wife. I walk around a little then lay down and think about my goals and focus on the back of my eyes thinking the next time I see I am dreaming over and over maybe 15 times. Do my SSILD, longer version and decide to enjoy the quiet time and patiently wait like Sageous talked about. Again I start getting the HH visuals and some audio fairly quickly but they don't seem to be going anywhere so I decide to roll over and hope for a DILD but then it happens I half suspect I am dreaming but worried I might still be awake but decide to will myself out of bed and I roll out of bed without actually engaging any muscles lest I wake myself. Sure enough I am light as a feather where as I normally feel very heavy when getting up and know I am dreaming but my vision is very foggy so I pause and decide to do one of the TOTM I just read about last night. I recited the months from November backwards starting slowly got a few of them more quickly and going faster almost tripped me up at April to March as I thought what comes before April but slowed down and finished. I continue out of my room slowly float walking and I see the railing from the overlook and everything is very clear now. I fly down over the railing down to the first floor. As I open the front door I think for a moment if my wife might hear the door opening and should I lock the door and I remind myself no worries, no need to even lock it my dream for any reason I can think of...keep going! I fly/float down my street kind of sluggishly and think that I must have read too much about how some people have various trouble with flying and realize I have flown well for as long as I can remember and I zoom off quickly to Girl Friday's. I think for a moment if I should go direct to my goal of flying out into space to look back at the earth but the temptation is too great. I arrive at Girl Friday's and I see a few other people outside that are often around her and might look sideways at the married man coming here at night but remind myself it is a dream - no worries (something I have been working on - reminding myself it is a dream - in conjunction with my daytime awareness check-ins and RCs). I float around back up to the back room and imagine that she will be there getting undressed. Sure enough when I look in the window she is unbuttoning her blouse. I knock on the window and give her the big eyes look and she is into it. I continue to float out side and she continues to undress one item at a time. I feel myself getting excited and I ask: you want to see this don't you. And as I start to pull it out I imagine it will be abnormally large and it is! And then I noticed that kind of hurts as if has expanded too much. I say you want this but I decide it is time to move on and I fly up into the atmosphere at super speed probably for 10 or 15 seconds towards my goal. As planned I look back down towards Earth but I must have flown too far earth is tiny and not the site I imagined so I flew back down towards Earth and stopped when it was in nice view. I could not make out the continents, the atmosphere was cloudy just blue ocean and clouds it seems, but so beautiful. The planet was glowing...I just sat there completely in awe and actually started to cry overwhelmed with emotion and I woke up. I get teary eyes just recalling it. I had planned to also fly to the moon and do a little bounding around on the moon and surgery with a piece of moon rock...but maybe another time. A little later on after laying in bed while recalling what a wonderful lucid dream I just had on top of a good one earlier in the evening I have a dream where I'm laying down on the floor on my side and I am apparently at work as I hear several of my coworkers talking and going by and R greets me in his normal up-beat way and I realize its Saturday there's no way I'm at work I'm dreaming again I tell him I'm sleeping and I notice how cool is this but then I focus on drool that seems to be coming out of the corner of my mouth and I wake up. I must have dozed off because I did not enter the dream consciously as I normally do with a DEILD, so I am thinking it is a DILD and possibly an FA caught(since I was in the sleeping position in the dream). I decided that's probably it for the night and decide to get up. Sweeeeet!!!!