non-lucid

Dream Memory

I am riding my bike with Heather on the pegs. This is my "car", and in my dream it does feel like I'm driving a car. Somehow the pedals are the gas and break, it all works out. It's quite the illusion.

I drive into the parking lot of my local cinema (the scene is very realistic, everything is in place as it is in waking life). Heather talks to me about something on Youtube. I explain how I have dreams where a building will be a major internet site like Youtube, and even recall about a "dream" (I never had this dream, though- false memory) where the cinema in front of us was Youtube, embodied as a building.

I park my bike-car in a space and explain how sometimes I forget which pedal is the break and which is the gas. I then offer that Heather and I go to the south end part of town to see the big tent of wares (I had a dream once where I did visit this place, but it doesn't exist in waking life). We start to pedal away and I forget where it is. I get behind another "car" which is actually just Ken from 30 Rock sitting in the middle of the street. We go around him.

Hot Tea Fragment

I have a cup and pot of boiling water. It's really, really hot, the smoke is rolling out really thick. I pour it into my cup, but by the time the water is inside the cup, it has disappeared into water vapor. I keep trying to fill my cup but it doesn't work. Finally after several tries, I get enough for tea.

I turn around from the kitchen area to see a big circle of people. I sit down next to my friend Chase and set my tea on the ground by my chair. (Memory loss of whatever happens here)

Now I am in a dark auditorium full of everyone from school. I'm with Autumn. This scene lasts a long time as we converse with everyone. (Another memory loss )

Ecstasy Field Trip

I've just done ecstasy somewhere. I'm in Barnes and Nobles, a bookstore. I "forget" that I'm on ecstasy and just feel really, really stoned. My school is here and we're on some kind of field trip.

I'm being shown a science demo. An older guy is holding a glass full of some kind of liquid. When he tips the glass a certain way, the liquid drips out the bottom in a gelatinous manner. He tells me to touch it but I'm really sicked out by it and a little afraid.
Where the magazines usually are in the store, there is a big empty floor. A few people are sitting around in a circle. I stay here and enjoy how stoned I am until a lady who seems to be in charge of the whole thing tells us to go to the Blank Journals Section.
I follow the crowd into an area with the sections: blank journals, pseudo science, and Japan. We form a circle around these shelves. I'm standing next to the Japan books but I want to be by the pseudo science books so I make a little leap around the shelf to do so.

Suddenly I remember I'm on ecstasy and go over to a music box. It's playing really soft music. I wonder how different music will make me feel so I press a little square with fractal album work on it. I don't hear the music change and feel no different.



I walk around to the children's book section. The mentally disabled kids are hanging out here. A teacher begins to laugh at me and says I have an overbite. I realize that my teeth are hanging out of my mouth. It feels like I had fake plastic teeth over my real teeth for a long time and now I'm conscious of my actual mouth. It's bizarre and the feeling doesn't go away.


Homeless Shelter

I have no body or consciousness. I am watching my dream.

My friend Pehry is in the homeless shelter. He's fighting with another boy. The boy says he wants to have a physical fight downtown in a half hour, and Pehry goes along with it. There's a mediator, an older women. She doesn't make him say no, and follows him as he walks downtown.

I am now myself. I am walking around near the homeless shelter. I'm with Heather. Under my arm I'm carrying several rolled up colorful mats. We're dropping them off here.

Heather is afraid to go in so I walk up to the place. I remember that it's only available for homeless people to go into at night, so I wonder if I can get in. I knock on the door and it swings in my direction, locking me between the door and the outside wall. It swings back in, I hop over the other way and knock again. I enter.

A few ladies are here cleaning the place. It smells like cat litter. There's a calendar with a family photo as the month's picture. One lady comes up to me and asks what I want, politely.

I explain to her I have a few "yoga mats'' she can have for the shelter. She replies rather excitedly but then questions if she needs them. I realize they aren't yoga mats but actually mats for sitting on while you draw with chalk outside. You put the chalk on the mats so the pieces don't roll away. I don't tell her this.


The Mansion

For whatever reason, I am walking into a big mansion home owned by a girl I went to high school with briefly. I'm wearing my hat really strangely but don't seem to mind.

She greets me like we were really good friends and I do the same to her. We walk around her house and I ask her if it's haunted. She says "sometimes". Her boyfriend is a really gangster dude, very unlike her, and walks around us to go to the bathroom. She lets me wander around her house.

I look up the stairs that are in front of me and see the silhouette of the bathroom. I see a rat fall out of her boyfriend's jeans. I go over to her and tell her this. When he flushes the toilet, the rat falls down the pipe and lands in a box under the stairs. She "changes reality" and when I open the box, its just an outline of the rat. She kind of winks at me.

I get a ride home from here with Jack and Heather. The road is really torn up and we hit all the bad sections at high speeds, making us airborne for a moment. He drops me off at home.

I play the sims and make the Brady Bunch's house. The girl calls my phone and asks if I want to hang out, but its like 11 at night and I don't have a ride. I tell her this and feel really bad.

I'm walking through a lot of sludgy snow on all fours down the street. I put my thumb out at every car that goes by but no one picks me up. One car slows down. It's a pink see-through "car" made of cardboard. It doesn't pick me up but I follow it.

I arrive at some shitty little house. The hallway is so tiny I must walk sideways through it. In the kitchen, I pour myself a big cup of smoothie. My mom's voice from somewhere comes out and says "That's all pineapple!", and taste it. It is.

I open a door and see a bunch of kids playing outside in the back yard. I don't join them. I open another door and now I'm in my basement from my childhood house. My kitten (that I have in real life) sneaks down the stairs and my mom tells me to find her. I look around and become distracted by noticing my basement.

It has fused my memory of the basement and the house, and there are stained glass bookshelf cases right next to the stairs. I walk into a room behind the stairs. It's a giant library with our big bookshelf case (usually in the dining room) in a largely empty room. There's a middle room next to this one with three bookshelves, all filled with just two series: One fantasy series my mom read, and another Peanuts-esque comic series my aunt read (it doesn't really exist). On one of the bookshelves in this room is a big collection of all the art Graeme Base (of Animalia fame) ever did.

I look through a doorway and see a bunch of people and Heather standing around. I do a weird dance and end up on the floor and a girl next to Heather does the same dance. I walk into the first room again and now it's a gift shop in my basement. All of my friends are here on some kind of "field trip". I start reading some holiday cards which are in a case.

My friend Justine comes up to me and says she's upset that she's so mean. I say "Yeah, you're an asshole, but I am too," and we talk about we are mean and wish we weren't. I end up hugging her and Heather comes over and seems unphased by it, which I'm glad about because it wasn't a sexual move at all.

I go back to the card section and really want to steal a Harry Potter "card" that is actually a really thick notebook full of original sketches by the author. I imagine that there are cameras in my basement because this is now a store, but end up grabbing it anyway. It's time to go so everyone, including me, walk through a new doorway exit to the driveway.

I get in a car that Jack's driving and my brother Holden is supposed to be sitting next to me. He gets in for a second but leaves. Jack doesn't know that he left and speeds off. Time lapse to us driving on a main road in my town. I say "Jack, pull over here, Holden's there," and we do. I tap on the glass of my window and Holden looks up. We're on the other side of the road, though. He has an air of superiority so as he walks through the busy traffic, all the cars stop for him, some of them dangerously close to running him over (but he doesn't seem to mind at all).

He goes to the sidewalk next to the car and starts running. He is challenging Jack to a race to wherever our destination is. Jack takes offense to this and starts speeding to make sure he wins and runs every red light. I'm kind of panicking and as I get more and more afraid, the car goes more and more out of control. Soon we have so much speed that the car starts to fly.



We are in the air and I see we're going to land in a really bad place, in between some buildings in like a hedge or something. It seems really dangerous. We land....and I lose the dream.

Dream Graduation

I’m in school. Graduation is getting set up RIGHT NOW. Hallways are empty except me and a few other “left overs” who can’t graduate for whatever reason. I have a bottle of wine in my hand and start running and screaming: look at me! A cup manifests and I pour it, chugging the bottle and then the cup, bottle then the cup until I’m in the rotunda, drunk and everyone’s looking at me.

I follow some other left overs through dusty abandoned hallways so Mrs. L doesn’t see us and find us out. We all have this plan to graduate anyway so we go way up into the theater storage attic and try our best to hide ourselves. Me under a big blanket with someone and I’m drunk and my eyesight is like that of when I’m so tired I can’t keep my lids awake. So for most of it I do have my eyes closed and just listen under a blanket stacked on top of theater props so I almost touch the ceiling.

Someone tries to peep into the hallway and a little Asian girl who ate all her hair off (really) is the “hall monitor” for graduation sees that someone. She sends in this bulky girl, a real bully. She’s got a trick. She pulls the first kid she sees to her and licks that student’s lip, touches it and then taps her temple. She screams and falls down, not dead but just painful. She does another little trick to someone (pulls their lip ring over their nose!) and says she won’t tell Mrs. L. She’s gonna leave but first wants to show off another trick, looking for someone she pulls me over to her! No way, I hate pain (who doesn’t); she spins my chin into a tight spiral and every time I un-spin it a little, shit it hurts. But someone tells me there’s a trick to her trick and just un-spin it all at once: I do, and I feel just a little tug and I’m okay.

A few of us go further into the attic and we find that there’s a desk and under the desk is nothing, it’s a free-fall to the ice arena where they graduate so you can watch the whole thing. They’re almost ready! A teacher, Mrs. Smith (4’7 or something small!) sees us peeping and comes marching over. We all run out of the attic, oh too late, and Mrs. L is standing waiting for us.

She’s a lovely lady sometimes and says we can all graduate, so everyone puts their gowns on. I don’t have one. At the final door to the ice arena, its time to graduate, I don’t have a gown, but there’s a box with a white Freshman gown. I’m a sophomore in my dream (hey wait, why were all the different classes graduating instead of just the seniors!) and our color is green, so I’m a bit embarrassed. We walk out and I run over to Autumn so she can take my picture (it’s mandatory). When I get over to my class, they’re all wearing white and I’m the only one wearing green.


Lucid Awakening

I’m downtown, walking in a little drizzle. I plan on going to the community market to volunteer when I see a little nook between buildings with a candy store built in. It doesn’t have a door or a cashing machine, it’s just a bunch of glass jars with a ton of bright colored candy. I’m pretty delighted but wait! We don’t have a candy store downtown. And why is downtown so tiny? I’m lucid. I walk into the center of downtown (as I said, everything is tiny and compact, like 50 feet). I look around and notice:

This feels real. This is REALITY to me. Everything is solid and I am perceiving it just as I do waking life.

(This single lucid fragment has created something in me that has helped everything I've been doing dream-wise DRAMATICALLY. I understood before that dreams=reality while waking life=hazy and unreal while you're dreaming, but I never FELT and EXPERIENCED that completely. Now that I have, something has clicked. My reality checks take up to five minutes or more, not because I feel that more time is necessary or anything, but that's how long it takes me to discern my reality. REALITY has a new meaning. I become lucid more often (though write more in the hard copy of my dream journal, less on here). I thank my subconscious for letting me explore this feeling.)


Fragments

I make a sandwich for myself "when I wake up"- WHY WASN'T I LUCID?

Autumn and I are being obnoxious in school, so Heather leaves without saying a word to me. Crushing.
NOTE: Autumn told me today that she had a VERY SIMILAR dream, of her and I and Heather (who she has never met or talked to) all in a classroom.

Abandoned In the Tropics

I am on a stage with all of my friends and people I know. We are putting on some performance. I do whatever I can to not be seen by the stage, but everyone is looking at me anyways. I walk around big tanks of water. Eventually everyone is running off stage and I am the last to join them.

The stage exit led to a very small tropical island with everyone already on it.

The boat comes that will take us to shore. I don’t see it at first, and by the time I get to the little beach, everyone is on it except me and two guys named “Want” and “Need”. Everyone is laughing at us. They didn’t want us to come back.

I’m angry but not that I’m stuck; I’m angry that I they left me, that they didn’t like me to this extent and were willing to perhaps kill me. The entire journey from here on is me trying to get back to them.

A few hours later a boat comes by. He’s tugging along three or four jet skis. We holler at him and he says we can’t have them. We ask more and he finally gives us a red one, but it has no gas.



We all get on it and the waves are moving in the direction of the nearest island. We land on it and get off. On this island, there’s a small wooden deck and then a store. Behind a counter are several racks with beautiful handmade island clothing. No one seems to be around so I take whatever I like.

The owners come out and explain we can have whatever we want, they never get customers anyways. I’m relieved that they didn’t punish me for stealing.

Scene change. Want, Need and I are employed by someone as gold diggers. We are in cave sitting barely on top of the water. The ground beneath us is watery sand. To get the gold, all we do is find little gold pieces already shaped into coins and pick them up.

Aang, Katara and Toph from Avatar: Last Airbender come into the cave. They want to rescue us, because our employer doesn’t plan on coming back with his boat to get us this time. They have us search for a different kind of coin, one with a little black design on it. These are worth money somewhere else, where we will all be going. Momo, a winged lemur from the show, is here, too and in the corner he is making a little trail of gold coins.



“Is that what you think helping is?” Katara says.

We get a handful of normal coins and just three of the black design coins before we have to go. The ship we are getting on is mostly a big metal grate area with wooden walking areas on the side of it. To get on, we are kind of projected into the air. Toph starts yelling about a 10 piece gold coin in the grate but there is a sliding metal door to the boat that will make it unavailable if we don’t get it now.

When we land, they all run toward the 10 piece coin. I saw a little bit of it when I was in the air. They don’t get it in time. I see that the grate has pieces of things and coins all over it. Katara tells us to hurry and get all the coins we can out of the grate. Unfortunately, when I landed onto the boat, I landed on the wooden area on the sides.

The captain of the boat and their employer says he doesn’t take regular gold coins anymore: only the black design coins. All of my work collecting coins today was wasted, and I have only three coins to give him. He is unimpressed.


Scene change. I am on dry land in a kind of mini-mall area. Someone warns us not to spend the black design coins because they are worth more when certain people buy things with them. I have three still, so I must not have given them up to that captain. I walk into a store. In the mudroom area between outside and inside, Wolf (a girl I know in waking life) is laying on the ground. Her girlfriend Rae is with me. She gives a black design coin to her and we enter the store.

I look at everything and notice that if we bought anything, it would be extremely cheap with these coins compared to using the gold coins. We don’t buy anything.

Scene change. I am projected from some place in the store into a long hallway. At the end there is a room kind of. It has an eerie feel, like the show Invader Zim. It just feels off. Heather is here and making a toy car go on a track that’s running on the floor to the wall to the ceiling to the wall back to the floor. She says the wallpaper recharges the car so it can go forever.


Will Smith's House

I’m walking and I meet Will Smith’s daughter Emily Browning (obviously not related in waking life). She brings me to her house which is surprisingly right up the street from mine.

Inside, I sit down with her, her brother Liam Aiken (related in my dream because of their brother-sister roles in A Series of Unfortunate Events movie) and her little sister Willow Smith (actually his real daughter). His house is really disgusting and even my dream-self was surprised by this. All of the rooms are huge but filled with junk. The kitchen where we’re sitting in is really tiny and there are dirty dishes stacked everywhere.

We are all playing some kind of card game. I’m across from Will. He looks really old and totally stoned. I feel bad that he let his life go when he clearly had much more at one point.

We finish the game and he goes into his bedroom. The kids and I all go into the living room. To get there, we went through two rooms which both had giant fake white Christmas trees. In the living room I sit on their ratty couch. The place is gross in here, too. Emily sits next to me and we cuddle kind of. If I move closer to her, I can feel the thumps of Will having sex with his wife downstairs, so I can’t cuddle her any closer.

“So, rockstar?” Willow says to me, trying to judge who I am or what I am doing with these “famous” people. She implies that I’m probably trying to be someone famous but I’m not. Emily explains that I’m not a rockstar or anyone famous, and that I don’t particularly want to be either.

I get up and look around the house and find a more fancy suitable kitchen. A few of my friends stumble out, including my brother Holden and our friend Jamie. Jamie has always been kind of a hippy, but he’s really overdoing it in my dream. He has very long hair all braided and put on top of his head. He’s wearing some kind of hat that has blond hair extensions as well. We all go out of the house together.

Holden wants to go to Redbox to get a movie and I say I think they are open past 12. It’s 2 a.m. We start walking.

On the way home we run into three really fat and buff 12 year olds. I want to beat them up, so I egg them on. The leader who has some kind of miniature padlock in her septum comes up to me and starts trying to kick me. Holden comes over and uses his elbow to hit some spot on their heads and they all just pass out automatically.

“You have to learn the Child Beatdown in those situations,” he says, and explains the move to me.


Fragment

I am in some room. I have a cup full of hot chocolate powder and I begin pouring different flavored water into it from tiny tea pots in a circle around me. I spill some and Beth comes over and helps me.

While she's doing that, Katie, an old friend of mine who recently got divorced and is now having sex with everyone, comes up to me and Holden. She says she wants to fuck him, and he jokes about it but I tell him she's serious. He says okay finally, and they plan to do it at 5 p.m. I ask if she does ladies too, and she says sure, and I just wink.

Touching Angelina

I am in an airport with Jack, Heather and Autumn. I see some famous chef in all white outside the big the glass walls of the entrance room we’re in. She’s with a guy in a gray tuxedo. I realize this is who Autumn came to meet. They are famous.

The chef woman has a pad of paper and I go take it from her and spit on a few of the first pages, hand it back to her, and run back in. When Autumn goes to meet them, they talk about how mean I am. The guy comes in and lectures me on being nice. He tells me how Autumn emailed him. He’s some political guy. I don’t really care about any of them and let them leave.

Heather points out an Arabic guy and gets really afraid he’s going to bomb the place, so we all book it to the car outside. Heather steps in dog shit and slides into the front seat. We all laugh about it. I’m in the back.

Everything kind of turns into a big giant ship. We are all part of a ship, and the ship is made of lego blocks. Heather and Jack are green and blue blocks and I am red blocks. I start taking my pieces away from the ship and they question why. I don’t really know why, I just want my own ship. So I take all my pieces, make my own ship with red and black blocks, and zoom away.

I fly to a clothing store. I am now inside. I start looking around for a full length mirror because I remember I haven’t shampooed my hair in a long time and I’m self conscious. I look through a big mittens section of the store and find a few different mirrors but they are all too close to my face. I find a little hat and wear it, thinking it will cover my hair.

I find a mirror and see that I have really long hair (not in waking life) and a center part. The hat looks not too bad on me. I start walking around and find a section of really nice textured dresses. I touch them all. I realize Angelina Jolie is one of the dresses, and she’s wearing it. I keep touching it anyway.



“You shouldn’t touch my family dress,” she says. She smiles and walks away. Wow, Angelina Jolie talking to me, what the fuck! I get really excited. I walk around some more.

There’s a little dark tunnel section of the store with a map of the whole place in it. A lot of people are just hanging out in here. I ask about Angelina Jolie being here. They tell me she’s starring in a movie here, with her girlfriend, a young girl my age. What! I get jealous. That could be me! I start walking around the store more.

Outside the little tunnel, the set is displayed. I see the girl. She’s half Emma Watson and half a girl I know from school. She’s being filmed. I sneak around the set and find myself in a new area of the store. There’s a big stage. I enter kind of next to the stage and am facing a giant crowd of sitting people. They are watching an opera show. It’s really dark. The whole store is kind of dark, like there are no lights on, but you can still see with the natural light.

I move on. I sneakily enter into a little passageway into a room. They are storing all the costumes for the movie here. I manage to take a stuffed animal that is the symbol and mascot of the movie. It’s reminiscent of Mickey Mouse the original but the head is just one giant black blob.

I take it to the passageway of people in the tunnel. They’re all surprised at how I got this. I told them I was practically invisible and just grabbed it. Pete Wentz, the bassist of Fall Out Boy, is here in the tunnel too. He takes the doll. The people tell me the girlfriend actor is also in a new band with him. I get jealous again! Why does she get all these cool opportunities? (Why was my dream mind judging her SO HARD??)

The girl is now in the tunnel too. She is talking about doing an interview with Pete on some TV show.



“Will it be just us or the whole band?” she asks Pete. Pete explains it will probably be just them because they are the “face” of the band.

“I always liked when the whole band showed up,” I told Pete. “I like when I get to see Joe.” I ruffled his hair and left. Outside on the set, Angelina had makeup on so she didn’t even look like herself. Some teenage boy kept telling me to look at how different she was. The girl came out and they filmed a part. We all went back into the tunnel.

Somehow I had a connection with Angelina even though we didn’t really speak that much (perhaps we did, and I don’t remember). She started to take off her makeup. I sat down and thought about how much I didn’t like the girlfriend. Now Angelina came over and started to take off her dress. She kind of straddled me while standing up and began to take her clothes off. I wanted to touch her legs, but could I do that? It was fucking Angelina Jolie and she was taken.

I noticed her legs were Heather’s legs: they had her scars on the thighs. I wake up.

Totoro Encounter

I wake up to a phone call. It’s a little boy saying my dog is outside. I don’t have a dog, but I go check anyways.

Outside, a golden retriever is laying in my yard. His name is Rusty and in waking life he belongs to my friend Martin but in this dream, he belongs to my neighbor Bill. The kid got confused. I look for the boy but I see no one in sight, and the dog is just sleeping. He thought he was hurt.

I peep downwards. On the other side of the screen door is a little white totoro with a cute red cap on and little red mittens! I let him in.

He runs around for a moment and then I lift him up. Wait, this could be a trick. My anxiety kicks in and I think of what this could be: a weird listening device robot and someone is hearing on the other end what I am talking to it about? I put my finger in its mouth. It’s wet, and I feel a few baby teeth. I pat all around it, it’s fur is very very soft, like a shaved cat belly. It seems soft on the inside: no mechanical parts.



It doesn’t like this patting though and it hops out of my hands and runs under my couch. I’m sad because now I know it’s real, and I already fucked up our first meeting! I get on my hands and knees and peep under the couch and lure it out.

I hold the cute little thing in my hands. He takes his hat and mittens off and I cuddle him a little. I then remember my two cats. Shit. They smell it, and come from upstairs. He hops out of my hands and the chase begins. I feel so bad for him, I can’t catch either my cats or him. At one point, I see something ruffling under a big blanket and I think it’s my cat. I tap my foot to lure her out, and she jumps at my foot, clawing it. She feels bad and kind of walks around me in apology.

I find the totoro and scoop him up and run to the door. I am about to set him free when my cats come and think I put him out already, so they’re eager to leave. They both go out and the totoro is safe. I set him down. He begins to cry softly. I feel so bad and squeeze him lightly, apologizing.

He is very in the moment and stops crying when I cheer him up and he realizes there’s no cats. He doesn’t seem to be hurt. He scurries back under the couch with his hat and mittens. He keeps smiling at me someone even though his mouth isn’t really like that.

I false awaken. Both my cats are on my bed. A shimmer of light shines through my window and all three of us go and watch the beautiful sun set.

Both of my cats were on my bed sleeping all night. Maybe we shared these dreams

Fantasy Cousins

I am in a parking lot with my mom and my cousin Catie. We’re going to go somewhere, like Portland or something, even though it’s really late and it’s two hours there, two hours back. Catie says Patrick, her brother/my other cousin, has to come too. I like Patrick in waking life, but I scream really loud in my dream when I hear this. I don’t say anything, I’m just screaming.
Before we go to Portland, we have to stop at Heathers house for some reason and wait a long time. Catie and Patrick awkwardly sit in the living room. The house is very different than waking life. I peep into Heathers room and she’s sleeping. I go in.
She’s having a dream and she’s smiling so big. She’s talks too, occasionally. I’ve never seen anyone have such an in depth dream. I wake her and apologize because her dream sounded cool, but she said it just ended.

We all leave together. The scene changes to a very weird room, cramped and full of people. We seem to be “regular” people, while there are more “noble” people. One is an old man, very strict and military-esque while appearing wise and mystic as well. He has a long beard like a stereotypical Chinese guy. The other noble is a young girl. She’s giving everyone weird creatures to ride on. Patrick gets on back of one that kind of looks like a bear, but is clearly nocturnal for some reason and has jagged limb structures. I want to get on one, but the girl explains it’s only for males. Heather, Catie and I sit down, and I feel really mad.
The scene changes to just me and Patrick walking up this big hill. He starts to dance kind of, just moving his body in a strange rhythmic way. On the ground below us, ice forms as he dances in a beautiful pattern. I join, and the pattern becomes more intricate. We get to the top.


Fragment

I’m at school. Our classroom moves to the teachers secret library. It’s a tilting room that I’m afraid will tip over. I sit in the back, closest to the exit. The ceiling is extremely high and there are bookshelves that reach it, toppling with books. I hate myself because I keep saying absolutely everything on my mind, whether it makes sense or not. I blame it on being really tired.
Later, we go to a gym. The gym has a giant weird rotating machine in the middle. The teacher comes up to me with a paper I made, and instead of an essay we drew pictures. Mine had a wand made of a marijuana plant, and she said I shouldn’t be so risqué.


Fragment

My mom wants weed, so I call up my friend Dylan and ask about it. He says some obscure date, but my mom goes and visits his apartment anyway. Outside there is a sack of seeds and she thinks its hers. She goes in and he says it’s not, so we leave.


Fragment
I'm shopping with Heather and Tyler. In one store, Heather buys me a jacket. In another, we all look at a display case of jewelry. There is a watermelon mood ring that Tyler wants. Heather wants some earrings (her ears aren't pierced), and I want a little hand clasp with an eye on the palm.

Pug Genocide and the Obstacle Course

I’m on my street walking two dogs, a Pomeranian and a pug. I make sure to keep them walking on the right side of the road, and my dream-mind thinks of how much I like the direction of East. I have trouble keeping them out of the roads but I manage to take them to my destination: a big building with all the kids from school waiting in line outside. There’s something going on, but I don’t really know what. I notice that if I get in line, I’ll be waiting for hours. It’s extremely hot out, the peak of summer.

I see my Uncle Pat come at me from a distance. He has a shot gun. Suddenly I am being pulled to the ground. I can’t see anything and my dogs are taken. Hands are over me. I am put in a car. I open my eyes. I’m in the backseat. My mom’s in front with my Nana and the dogs are here in the back. The windows are rolled up and we’re all sweating really hard because of the heat.

“You can’t take Pugs out in the open,” my Nana says. She explains that they are being killed off, and my Uncle is one of the men who shoots them. I don’t know why it’s happening. I roll a window down and shove my face out. It’s a little refreshing. I draw things in the thick condensation that’s formed on the windows.

They drop me off at my dream-house, where I’m staying. It’s night time. I take the dogs into a shed and ruffle through a few boxes. I find a purple wig and put it on. In the mirror, I look the same, and my wig looks really funny. I can’t fit all my hair under it.

I go into the house. I’m staying with an autistic boy and his autistic friend. They annoy me, not because they’re autistic, but they won’t leave me alone for a moment. I try to run into my room and quickly close the door, but they get in. I do it again, forcefully and lock the door. The dogs play around in my room.

The scene jumps to me going back to the building with the school kids. It’s daytime again, but the same day, just a few hours later. No one is outside and I see the tail end of the line going in. Shit. To go in, you walk up some stairs on the side of the building, so I do that. The next part is the beginning of a big obstacle course. I didn’t know that was what this was.

Derek, my friend, is in front of me. After the stairs, you climb through a window-esque opening. I do so, but after casually going through, I am almost falling off a circular ledge that leads from the outside to the inside. Below me, all the kids are doing their obstacles or just watching me fall. This is the first part, and I’m already failing. Well I didn’t know about it, so I don’t feel that bad, I don’t really care about this. The ledge is absolutely terrifying, however.

I fall more, and I’m dangling half inside half outside the building, my hands on the ledge.

“Fuck all you hoes,” I say (lols) and manage to lift myself up. I slink around the ledge and come to a bigger part of it. Kayla, a schoolmate, is in back of me. There are two doorways. They are both extremely small. I enter one, and it gets blistering hot as I walk through. I take off my hoodie, and my mind says this is why my dream has been so hot. It’s still hot in the hallway. It zigzags vertically and becomes too small to fit through. I look back and see Kayla has taken the other hallway, the correct choice. Shit, failed again.

Scene change to the end of the course. I’ve probably come in last, but I’m hanging out with the first place and second place kids until they make a final announcement. It’s kind of like a break time. First place is “Heather”, although it doesn’t look like her and she keeps taking her glasses off (which she doesn’t have in waking life) and saying how she can’t see.


Circle Class

I am in a big fancy house and I am going to interview someone. They bring me to the “tea room”, which is a huge circular white room. I sit down.

Scene change to me sitting in the room, but in a desk. There are about thirty desks all arranged in a circular way. I see Jack sitting on the other side of the circle. I’m talking to Megan, a childhood friend, and Derek, a friend from school. We talk for a long time, most of the dream, but I don’t remember dialogue much. My mouth is really dry.

I look down the line and see Heather talking to a friend, Aimee. I get a jealousy pang but remember that I’m having a quite good time myself here talking with Megan. We are sitting in rolly chairs and I spin around the room, having some fun.

For some reason, a lot of people start to leave. I think they’ll come back so I wait. Eventually it’s just me and a few kids near Jack who are really dedicated students and wouldn’t leave a class. I know everyone is having a good time without me, and I get very upset. I see Derek left me a drawing. It’s really good, and on the back it has a black scratch area. It reveals rainbow colors if you scratch it away. I doodle on it and think about what Heather is doing without me. I do some funny things to entertain the students, who laugh, but I can’t close my mouth. It’s too dry!

I wake up, and have the worst dry mouth. I drink water and go back to bed.



Fragment

I am in Goodwill with my mom and someone else. This girl Emily who is really disgusting is here. She points to a sailing instrument, a tiny globe that has a handle under it that controls a grid laying over the earth. It tells you longitude and latitude numbers. I really want it, but it’s thirty dollars. I carry it around and slip it into my pocket.

I check out the records and they have video game soundtracks. I really want the Donkey Kong 64 Part 2 (doesn’t exist!) soundtrack, or the Banjoe Tooie. No money, oh well. I think about telling my friend Lotie about them, because she just got a record player.

I look at a television playing something on a shelf. A thought comes to mind that my mom had cancer in my dream or something. The dream details on this, but I don’t recall any of it.


Fragment

It’s a year later than now, and I “wake up” in a daze into the new present time, knowing nothing of the past year. I ask Heather all the things we did in the passing year, and have my mom tell me some things we did too. I go to a park with my mom and dad and my dad uncovers my old bike from under a hiding spot. He said I put it there last year.


Fragment
I'm in my first room ever. On the ground there are two vests, identical. Weird, I think. Why would that happen? I could be dreaming. I become lucid, look at the vests, and see they are remarkably different. I wake up.

Horrible recall + staying at other people's houses for a few days = limited dream journal entries

My friend Gabe comes over quite unannounced. He goes on my computer and we look at my computer history one page at a time together. I'm really uncomfortable. I had a false awakening that I wrote this down.


Jamie is in a very surreal version of his apartment with a fuzzy tie dye shirt and matching tie dye sweater. The sleeves are rolled up and held in place with weird little velcro tabs on each arm.


I keep having small Sims things pop up into my dreams since I re-downloaded The Sims 2 A burglar came into the area that I was having my dream. My POV shifted into the usual top-down view when playing, and I saw him creepin around the entire area stealing Sims objects. The view was pretty neat, because I could see myself and where I was dreaming, and then the whole area that I was in.


My mom bleached my hair and then started to dye parts of it bright blue

Beach Movie

I am playing a marble game with a big structure full of holes and tunnels for the marbles to roll around in. A few of my friends are with me in an obscure setting playing this game. Jamie stands up from the structure and tells everyone he wants to see the new Jack Skellington movie. Some of us want to and some of us don't, but we all end up on a beach.



It's night time, so things are difficult to see. Everyone went their separate ways on the beach, which is where you can watch the movie. The shore has scattered people facing the ocean. However, the ocean is not visible, because a crowd of thousands of kids are all standing in the water facing the shore, chanting for the movie. I can't make out any individual people; there is just a giant blob of kids, some holding signs. My friends all eventually end up in the crowd.

On the shore, my plot line diverts from my friends. A woman is holding two staffs with glowing rocks on the ends of them. One is blue and one is green. She's looking for something with them, using them as a natural flashlight of sorts. We exchange dialogue (but I never remember words in my dreams) and I end up helping her. She gives me the blue staff, and I jab it around the beach.

On one end of the beach, there is a kind of couch cushion that's upside down and connected to a "wall" that ends the beach. Her daughter is inside the cushions I think. I let her try to pry her out and go look for other things that were missing. I turn my back to the water and the sand, and there is a hallway that leads to Heather's house. I don't go down it, but there is a box in the hallway. There is a tiny zebra in the box, which I take, feeling slightly guilty but not really.

Back on the beach, I go up an adult in the water who is hiding behind a big sign that is declaring his love for the movie. He is handing out taffy to everyone. I take some and notice the calories: 400/inch. Yikes. My dream-mind doesn't like that either, so I throw it away.

Dumpstering

I'm in a mall with Tyler and someone else. It's night time and almost time to leave. There's barely anyone here. We steal some ice cream and eat it as we walk around. Alex, a guy from school, comes up to us with melted ice cream in two glass cups and starts singing some song about having sex. His girlfriend is with him and I wonder how she feels about this weird situation. He passes us.

I tell Tyler that because it's night time, we can try to dumpster dive out back for books they throw away. She's really hesitant because it's still a bit light out and she's afraid of getting caught. I persuade her, however. We go to walk outside, and the exit that we chose is in an area of the mall called the "Drunk Exit". We talk about how dumb it is because "you can't even drink in the mall!"

I have a very distinct memory of opening the door to exit. The door was massive, and my hands couldn't fit around the giant handle. It was clear glass and a white frame and even when I looked up, I couldn't see the top.

Outside, the first thing I see is a white rooster. It's just kind of standing there and I think of how odd this is. I go near it and it doesn't move. I do a dream check, and decide it's normal. (FUCK)

Tyler and I run through the woods near the exit and I spy my friend Dylan in the woods a few feet from us with some kids. They're all playing with this weird material I've never seen. It's orange and very surreal. It's kind of like foam but not even really "there". Strange indeed. I dismiss this. (FUCK)

Tyler and I duck behind a big dumpster and a car drives by with the U.S. Military emblem on the door, so we book it back through the woods because we're scared. We end up on a trail lost in the woods. I jump really high and step on a lot of boulders, just kind of messing around, trying to get to Tyler who's ahead of me. I accidentally crash into her and we wobble on the boulder we're standing on. She's really terrified of falling. I do this again on accident, and she's mad.

Somehow we get back to the mall and I cross the street. Tyler doesn't follow me, but someone does. I don't know who they are for the rest of the dream. It's morning now and the sun is coming up. We're at a skate park area and I'm on my longboard, turning in circles in the parking lot.

"You should have gotten your board!" I say to the other person. We talk about how they lost it or something. Then we notice a group of snobby teens playing in the park. We go up to them and kind of listen in on their conversation. They are talking about not doing certain things because it's really dumb, and I say something really snappy about not dying my hair blonde because it's really dumb (I wish I remembered the whole conversation here, my dream-self really thought I was clever with the comeback.)
One of the guys who are with them laughed, and he looked so out of place in the group.

I notice that Jimmy from Degrassi/Drake the artist is with them, too. He's in a wheelchair like he is on the T.V. show. Slowly he's lifted from the chair and has no clothes on and is trying to stand. I ask how he can do that if his legs don't work, and Heather suddenly pops into my dream and explains the episode he's re-enacting.

One of the funny guys who doesn't belong gets naked too and I am about to leave. I go up to him and tell him he is very funny, and his friend is too (the original guy who laughed at my joke). I make X's on their lips and the sun rises and rays align with the X's. I leave somewhere.


Fragment

I'm in a town where Heather supposedly lives. We walk to the store in all red because there are gangs and red means you're safe. At the store, we play with marbles in a structure (very similar to my other dream). We leave our shoes here and walk home. Then we notice we want our shoes back, so we go get them.

Boyscouts vs. the Fire Nation

Holden my brother, Tyler and I are hanging around downtown. We’re on this outside deck looking over the parking lot in the center of all the shops. I look over at a part of the brick buildings to my right that’s made of wood all the way from bottom to top. It’s made of strips of wood intersecting like X’s, like a foundation of a porch on some houses. Between the X’s I can see an old decaying sign.

At the same moment, Tyler seems to spot it: “Look, remember Weatherfields?!”

“Fuck yeah, I loved that place,” I say. It was an old restaurant that everyone went to as children (such a place doesn’t actually exist). Holden says he never went there, but I assure him he did.

In front of us, a few people get out of a little car. It’s a family it seems.

“Let’s go, there’s Kirstie Alley,” Holden says and starts walking out of the deck, into the parking lot and away from the family. It wasn’t only a fat joke, but the mom of the family also looked like Kirstie Alley, the actress. She was huge and was wearing a pink dress down to her ankles. Her flubby arms swung and instead of walking, she seemed to just tip in the direction she wished to go and flowed with inertia.

Holden, Tyler and I went to Goodwill, which was across the parking lot. Inside, I ran into the toys section which my dream-self never really does (Goodwill doesn’t have a toys section, and the whole place was more of a real store like a small WalMart). Tyler followed me and we began talking about wanting it to be summer out so we can play with water guns.

A couple started quarreling in the aisle so we left and went up front. There, we looked inside one of those claw machines. There was a really interesting looking umbrella. At first, I didn’t even know it was an umbrella. It had spikes in bands all around it, intricately engraved motifs from the handle to the top of it, where they followed the paths of metal in the shading part.

“Jack, you can have that blue one,” Tyler says. She points to a similar umbrella although colored light blue, making it kind of ugly. Where did Jack even come from? He has an ugly little face of anger when she makes this jab, and then he disappears.

Tyler and I touch a lot of soft stuffed animals in a big metal bin. I am particularly attracted to a white elephant and can’t stop touching it. Eventually, Holden asks us to leave because he’s bored of Goodwill, so we do.

The scene becomes us walking around Winslow, our neighboring town. Holden is a boyscouts parade soon, and Tyler and I are just following him around. Tyler’s smoking but doesn’t want her cigarettes anymore for whatever reason and asks if I’d like them. I think for a second and say sure. One is unlit and one is lit. I put the unlit one in my pocket and look at the lit one: where the flame should be, there is a hologram of a tiny flag that dissolves if you wave it back and forth. I take a drag and nothing really happens, no smoke, nothing.

We are walking up this big hill and I see my friend Autumn. She’s wearing a boyscout uniform just like the guys. It’s funny for me because she’s pretty big and walking up this big hill and doing dude-things with scouts, which is not of character for her. Not on the dream-plane, though!

“Autumn, why are you even a boyscout anymore?” I ask. She shrugs her shoulders and we talk about something (but I rarely remember dialogue in my dreams at all).

We get to the top of the hill. Tyler, Holden, and my old friend Cholage are at the top and want to slide down.

“What the fuck, you’ll probably die!” I say and make notice of the four-way intersection at the bottom (all of this is accurate in waking life). They all shrug their shoulders and start sliding down anyway. They just jump and their feet slide on the pavement, moving it as if it was very slippery and malleable mud. I don’t want to look like a coward so I start sliding too.

I’m half-way down and everyone else is at the bottom so I decide to call it quits. I can’t stop easily so I ram myself into a building on the side of the hill and then slide over and join Holden, Tyler and Cholage. They are on this floating house with a floating front yard, all of it on top of a small inlet. I’m really afraid of it sinking because I don’t want to get wet. Holden laughs at me because of how afraid I am, and I laugh too.

I look over and Tyler and Cholage are nearly naked making out with eachother. Holden is laughing and they both have smiles on their faces. I have an intuitive thought that they are doing this to make me jealous (though I’m not really attracted to either of them). I don’t want to seem jealous. But! I fall while the floating yard bobs in the water and my face lands right near their nude bodies. Whoops.

Holden and I start walking with the boyscouts as their parade starts. There’s a ton of boyscouts on the sidelines, but no actual onlookers. I think of how embarrassing this is, but no one minds. While Holden walks in the parade, I ask him about Avatar.
“We should watch Avatar sometime, I love that show. I’m re-watching all the episodes,” I say. He kind of nods, uninterested. “Have you seen the movie?”

“No. It’s not Miyamoto’s best.” (Why did my mind choose Miyamoto as the director??)

“Yeah I haven’t seen it either, I think they cast Aang wrong. He looks so serious,” I say. Holden agrees and we talk about it for awhile. I make a face, impersonating the actor.

Suddenly, the Fire Nation is attacking the parade! (I love how the mind works ) Everyone is running all over the place. Most of the boyscouts are Air Benders, like me. I get separated and am by myself, almost surrounded by opponents. Luckily, most of them are engaged with other battles and don’t notice me. One, in front of me, however, sends a giant flame dragon head at me. Its jaw is chomping as it comes closer. I close my eyes and focus my energy on the most powerful air attack I could do right now. I cross my arms, and when I uncross them, I send a wave of forceful air in its direction. The dragon head splits into smaller flaming heads that dissolve as someone pulls a big blanket of salt water over everyone. It’s sticky.



Around me, big booming voices are telling their followers to say a certain word that will bring them to safety. I see one of the voices re-embodied. It’s a God, a leafy Earth God that is putting all his devotees into a vortex as they say the correct word.
My friend Gabe says it, and I look at him strangely. He was always an atheist! I say the word, too, hoping for salvation, and I black out.

I wake up in a recovery area. Everyone is sitting on leafy clouds. My surroundings are dim. Holden is here, but Tyler isn’t. Heather’s friend Brittany is in front of me. For some reason, she pulls me really close to her and is making very affectionate moves! I apologize when our faces stick together because of how salty I am. She doesn’t mind, and starts kissing me. I wake up.


Illegal Drive

In the middle of the night, Tyler texted me and asked if I had any money for weed. I said no and went back to sleep.
In my dream, I am in the school, but under it, in this really cool art workshop that no one knows about. I get a text from Tyler and she asks if I have any money for McDonalds. I decide that I will take my car and get her some, even though I don’t have my license.

My car is underground where I am at the school, so I just go get it and drive off. I drive fine until I get to McDonalds, where I forget to stop at the window. I’m embarrassed so I just decide to drive home. I find that I’m going 80 down a hill and can’t stop. Eventually I hit the breaks. I turn into this little section of the parking lot in downtown. I try to keep going on this “road” but I find the only ways to go are up some…stairs? Shit, I am driving in a pedestrian park. I back out and go home.

False Awakening: I wake up and don’t know if it was all a dream or not. I tell my mom, hesitantly, that my car may or may not be here, and I may or may not have driven it last night. She laughs and says it was just a dream. Okay good!


Climbing The Tower

There is a big tower. A bunch of kids are climbing it, it’s some game. It turns into a tunnel halfway up and then disappears, turning over and extending some other way. I try to climb it but, like a lot of the kids, I fall. It’s a difficult game-like structure. I see how some of the more “advanced” kids are climbing it and mimic them.

I “get” how to climb it now, so I’m doing it all really easily. I pass most of the kids who I learned from. The newest part that I see is a green rope at the top of the tower that you hold on to as you fall off the side of it, into a swampy area. The tower was clearly just the beginning of a really cool journey.

I don’t grab onto the rope, I just kind of let my fingers glide over it as I jump into the swamp. A lot of kids “die” (and re-enter at the entrance to the whole tower) here. I walk around the tower in the swamp and come to weird area with a bunch of circular steps with newspaper over them. I hop along them, passing this area, and find myself in another swamp land.

There’s another tower which a few kids are trying to climb. I use my climbing skills and pass them as well. The top of the tower is a cool club house! There’s a few other “winners” inside, and we talk about the tower and just hang out.

Something happens, and the scene changes. I want to go to the club house again. I pass all the kids trying, and at the step area, I see why people have a lot of trouble here: the steps are made of pure ice. Because I hopped passed them, I didn’t come in contact with them enough to notice.

In the club house, there’s only a girl inside. Where’d all the cool winners go? She wants me to help her lure a Dryad from the swamp. First she suggest I set my Dryad Bow (?) into the water, but I assume she’ll take it. Instead, she puts her shiny Chaos Gloves (from Guild Wars) into the water, but nothing comes. I feel bad.




Fragment

I’m at school in a classroom I’ve never seen. I sit out back with my friend Celina. I haven’t been to class in awhile I assume, because everyone is working on some project and have pages of notes, and I have none. I don’t really care.

Chase calls me over from the other side of the room. He explains what we’re doing: making our own cereal boxes. I’m excited. It incorporates English somehow by having us add propaganda to the box. The project seems really fun. I want to make my box funny, so on the bottom I put the Surgeon General’s Warning.

Dynamite Town

I’m flying! I’m close to the ground, no cars, just a big long road in the country surrounded by yellow and orange autumnal trees. I let my muscles go limp and the wind takes me higher, passed the power lines. If I go too high I get a little nervous I’ll never come back down, so I stabilize myself a few feet above the power lines. “It feels so good to be flying, finally,” I say.The wind is warm and everything feels exhilarating.

A tiny voice in my head starts talking to me: it’s my mom! I lose lucidity. She wants me to go get “Cochla root” for my dad, who has a bit of back pain. I need to go to the medicine woman we see for the herbal nutrition we buy from her.

Luckily, my school is having a trip to the same area today! Now I’m on a bus, looking out the window. We’re here, in the little mountain town where she lives. I call it a “boomtown” but for other reasons: all around us, people are working with dynamite in the mountains to access the gold and coal that are inside. The surroundings are all dirt and mud with laborers outside on this particularly rainy day. The houses are scattered boxes on the fields passed the dynamite lands. The bus rides through on the only paved road I see.

Out my window I see a girl who’s working. I look in her eyes as she works. There’s a connection here, one that I’m uncertain of but I feel something. I want her to look at me, but the bus passes before she turns.



Ahead, the other bus of students is returning from the town, going home. There is only enough room for one bus, but this isn’t a problem in a dream. Our bus kind of goes “over” the other bus, without an accident or anything dangerous, we are on the same track but on different levels of the same road. My POV is inside the other bus as it passes below us. I see Heather sitting alone, crying. I know she’s having an anxiety attack because of all the dynamite and danger around her. Jack is in my bus and starts taunting her.

“Jack,” I say. Everyone on both of the buses stops talking. “Shut the FUCK UP.” He does. We move on.

We get to our destination soon. It’s a old fort house a little ways passed the main dynamite mountain area. Inside, I get a little scared; this is a haunted house-esqe attraction, not an informative guide through the history of the town. Although I’m scared, me and my friend Celina are the first to run in. The doorway frightens us: when you walk over it, it rains on you. This was terrifying in my dream!

We sit down against a wall and let everyone else explore the house. I go into the kitchen where the witch doing all this scary magic is kneading bread. I ask her about the medicine woman and where I can see her.

“You’re on the same road but this is the wrong house,” she says. I feel embarrassed. I sit back against the wall with Celina and text Heather. Eventually everyone has explored the scary house and we leave.

On the way home we stop at a McDonalds and I order two chicken nuggets. I receive my order and they are huge, about half the size of me! I can’t wait to give these to Heather (I’m vegetarian), but they’re really heavy and difficult to pull along.

The scene shifts to me in the back seat of a car. My Uncle Pat is driving. I don’t want to tell my mom that I didn’t get the Cochla root and she’ll have to drive back to the town. I think of ways to tell her the bad news. My Uncle is going really slow and when I notice this, he hits the accelerator and goes through a shortcut home: through a bank parking lot and then through a school playground. Before we reach the playground, my POV shifts to above the car, as if there is no car, only me and him floating (but I still “feel” that we are in a car). We start passing through the fence into the playground and I see a bunch of curved spoons on the ground.

“That’s where crack addicts do their drugs. If I was going to do crack, I’d do it here,” I say.

On the playground, we pass a teenager on a small child’s bike. Now I am riding the bike.

It has backwards peddle brakes which are so foreign to me that I just don’t brake. Instead, I kind of idle around the edge of the playground until I can cross the street. I go for it without looking, and a car almost hits me: it was my mom, we’re both going home. I find this funny.

Peddling home, I stop on the side of the street to collect some acorns that have fallen from a tiny tree. My uncle’s voice booms to me: “Stop, let’s go home!” I tell him to wait a minute and then we proceed home.

Fragment

(Copied directly from my dream journal, I can’t make sense of it)
Me + a lot of people, nighttime, afraid on couches in a big house. Julia. My cat forms into a square of space + I wake up with her still there.

dreamBirthday Party

I’m in the car with Pehry. He’s driving pretty recklessly with someone else in the front seat telling him to slow down. We take a sharp turn into my dad’s auto shop. The parking lot is full of tiny cars for children but exact versions of their bigger counterparts. I keep saying I want one, and then remember that I “have” one, a tiny tan minivan. It’s parked out back.

We get out and go into my dad’s shop. It’s a party inside; it’s my birthday! My family and friends are all inside. No one pays too much attention to me, but in my dream world this isn’t strange and I am content just walking around looking at the things in the shop.

I walk over to my Nana who is sitting around a turntable. There are old nursery rhyme records all stacked on it. I go through it and each one is colored and decorated with story elements: one is green with a frog, one is red with a pony, one is blue with a bear, etc.

My mom comes over to me and gives me a little ticket. It says “dunk house” and I interpret this as a ticket for me to go into one of those dunk booths at the fair. I quickly give it back to her, and she explains that my Nana is in the dunk house at the fair this year and with this ticket I can dunk her no matter if I hit the target or not.

Everyone keeps doing their thing at this mini-party and Autumn comes in from somewhere. She has her school bag, and I “know” that the door behind me connects to a few classrooms. Because she’s really big, everyone gets nervous and kind of moves towards the middle of the room to make room for her (she’s not THAT big).

She comes over to me and talks about missing a certain project that she’ll have to re-do.

“What? No, that project was that we had to listen to records in class. Why would you have to do that out of school? It’s so easy and dumb,” I say. She has her usual bad attitude and just shrugs her shoulders and says mean shit about everyone around us.
Someone outside is driving a specially-made car.

“Isn’t that the car Marty made that runs off blood instead of gasoline?” I say.

“Yeah I know about Marty,” Autumn retorts as if it’s “cool” to know Marty and she wanted to make sure I knew that she knew about him. We talk about how the problem with the car is that the blood soaks through the seats and stuff so your clothes get bloody and you can’t keep papers on the seats and stuff like that.

Fragment

I walk into a really small classroom. There’s a substitute teacher (who is an actual teacher at a school I went to) and a chocolate cake sitting on the only table in the room.

“Fuck yeah!” I say as I come in and sit down. The kids behind me are excited too: cake and a substitute. I have déjà vu (or perhaps I dreamed this before, or perhaps a dream memory) that I had been to this class and had cake before.

I get a little embarrassed because I don’t know how to sit without being too close to anyone. Kate (a…friend of mine) is here. We all take big slices of cake and talk about dumb things.

We have a project to do in class: listen to a few certain records. The teacher changes from the substitute to my old U.S. History teacher.

Fragment

Jack, Heather and I are looking through a big dumpster of metal scraps, looking for good pieces to put into a trash compactor. We are having a lot of fun doing this.

Fragments of Fragments

• A room made of zebra print. Not painted over or wallpapered, but the structure is the patterns of zebras.
• I check a letter written to Morpheus, looking for a response. I go through sheet after sheet, looking for markings.
• I go downstairs and make myself toast.

Shared Dreaming

Halloween Party

Heather, Tyler and I live in my old house. It’s early morning, like three a.m. or so. Tyler and Heather decide to go outside for a walk and a little adventure. I am getting some layers on because it’s cold out but they’re already out the door. I yell at them and they don’t stop, so I have to run up to them to catch them.

We are walking around and it seems to be Halloween. There are kids everywhere and a stop sign has a plastic decorative ghost-stop sign decal taped over it. I want to make the O of it into an eyeball, so I take a permanent marker out of my pocket and “grow” tall enough to vandalize it quickly. I can’t “ungrow” so I’m tall for a long time. (Heather dreamed that there was a person that was very tall all throughout her dream).

We discuss which way to go and we think about downtown which in my dream-mind’s eye looked how it does when I dream of it, as if the area is semi-static on the dream plane.

There is no transition that I remember, though both of these fragments "feel" as if they are part of the same dream.

I am dumpster diving behind Tyler’s apartment with Marilyn Manson as a teenager. We go through one of the back doors of the restaurants that line the brick wall of dumpsters. On the other side is a big house party. I feel completely lost among Marilyn Manson fans and gothic kids. I walk around the place and the living room is Heather’s living room.

Heather is laying on her couch taking up two spaces; Adam is sitting on the third space. I go over and lay on Heather, so relieved to have her here when I thought I was alone. She gets red and starts getting up, pushing me off of her. She’s embarrassed to be with me in front of Adam.

I’m sick of that feeling so I walk into the kitchen and start eating cupcakes. Dylan, my ex-boyfriend is at the party. I decide to take revenge on Heather by telling him we can go out again. He is ecstatic, to a point where I am annoyed. It’s not worth it. The whole time I am at the party, he’s trying to say things to me to make me really love him again.

I take him outside, where it’s still dark out (though hours have seemed to pass).

“I can’t two-time Heather like that,” I say. I try to break up with him and it’s really difficult, only because I know that he will feel like shit after I do. I realize he’s in college and get weirded out for some reason, so it’s easier. I break up with him again and go back into the party.

It’s mostly over, as if I had been gone for a long time and it’s now morning. Almost everyone’s gone. Marilyn Manson is yelling at his mom, and I give her a sympathetic glance. I “know” that he used to be nice to her but started to be mean as his persona grew.

I walk over to the second living room (not Heather’s). There are giant seats that sink in a lot. I sit in one and find a gold key that Heather wears. Instantly, I know that Heather made out with Adam in this chair. I text her “found your key”, which will let her know that I know what she did. I’m upset.

I look around the room. Everything is being picked up. A girl is throwing these giant cellophane carrots away. An extremely young version of my grandmother is picking up most of the trash and stuffing it in a trash bag.

She gets really upset that the girl is throwing the carrots away and starts yelling at her because they are full of “goodies”. I remember that my grandmother is a highly spiritual person and wonder why she is getting so upset, losing her temper over a trivial thing. She goes into another room to clean up there.

A few guys sitting around the breakfast table are talking about the newspaper mascot, Happy. It’s a black dog who is severely depressed.

“Never try to make Happy happy. Everyone knows he’s sad so it’s insulting to him,” one of the guys says. He gives me a page of the newspaper. I held the paper out about a foot in front of me. An article had been strangely bolded and unbolded and when you can see all of the words, the boldness of the letters reveals a black ink dog made of words. His tail was the darkest part.
I throw it into the trashbag. I see a few Jenny Lewis calendar posters, really quality black and white, thick paper. I start taking them out. A woman sitting in one of the deep comfy chairs starts talking to me about Waterville’s mascot, a parrot named Waterlou. (Heather had a dream about mascots.)

My grandmother walks out of the room and smiles at me. I see that her temper was very in the moment and she was easily brought out of it.

A Sizable Strawberry



My mom’s driving her car. I’m in the middle of the backseat, Holden’s next to me and his little sister Sarah who is incredibly fat in my dream is on my right. Holden and I discuss selling strawberry chips, just like potato chips but sliced and fried strawberries instead. I see why we were discussing this: up ahead, there’s a giant strawberry! Not the size of a house or a mansion or even a plane, it’s the size of an airport!

My dad is in the front seat now. Instead of parking our car in the big sea-side parking lot (the strawberry is right next to the sea), we just drive up it. This scares me quite a bit because once we get the car on the strawberry, we are almost completely vertical. I ask if we could flip over and my dad reassures me that’s impossible. I close my eyes until the car stops on top of it.

We all get out and are given little green baskets to put our pickings in. I don’t see how this is going to work until I look down at the surface of the strawberry: it’s covered in little yellow tags. Each one is attached to the flowering part of a seed, which can be pulled and a perfect cube of strawberry comes out. I start pulling a few and walk over to where my dad is.

He’s on a little lake on the strawberry. It’s not too big, maybe 12 x 12 feet and full of murky strawberry-sea-water and long stems. He’s pulling huge cubes from around the edges of it and I help him out, pulling them and putting them in his basket.
Walking on it isn’t difficult, it’s plushy and kind of fun if I don’t look down: we are quite a ways up. I walk around and see that everyone is going into a little observatory room on the top most point of the strawberry. Inside, everyone’s standing kind of far back from the main window. Kayla, my ex-boyfriends new girlfriend, is by the window really close. My mom, my dad and Holden and I walk towards the window too to see.

Suddenly, the floor beneath the window lets go like a trap door and we tumble out of it. I don’t remember falling, only hitting the water. My leg is somehow attached to something big so when I start sinking, I feel like I’ll die here (though I didn’t feel exactly hopeless or bad: I just knew I could, possibly, die). My dad comes swimming at me and unhooks my leg. Kayla is still under somewhere, so my mom looks for her. When she comes up from the depths, she kind of nudges me back down and I hit my leg on a really weird smooth rock section. It happens twice but we finally make it back to the shore.

My dream repeats. Everything is the same until we are in the observatory. I change the dream so all of us are kind of next to the window but not that close, so when the trap door drops, only Kayla goes down. My mom saves her. It wasn’t malicious of me, I just didn’t want to be scared again and I had no control over Kayla.