nightmare

My parents have just bought a house up on a high hill overlooking the ocean. There is a whole community of similar houses up on that hill; ours is the last one at the end of the street, on the ocean-facing side of the hill. Beyond our house, the hill becomes more of a cliff, and the ocean is below it. My family has just recently moved to the community.

My parents, my sister, and I are coming back from being out and about, and we see all our neighbors standing or sitting around in the open area at the highest point on the hill, which we have to pass through to get to our house. When we talk to them, we learn that they are out there watching the neighborhood slowly fall apart. I see an open patch of mud on the ground in a corner where two pieces of concrete come together, with air bubbles coming up through it. I see a corner of someone's concrete patio sticking up at an odd angle, no longer flush with the ground. All over the hilltop, the is starting to liquefy like this.

We get to our house (which is a long, straight, single-story house built perpendicular to the cliff), go inside, and see that the floor is now tilting at a 20-degree angle or more. It's clear that it's ultimately going to slide off the top of the cliff and fall into the ocean, but we can't feel it moving right now. Our mom tells us to collect any of our things that we want to save before that happens.

My sister and I go to the far end of the living room, which is the narrow edge of the house and the wall furthest from the edge of the cliff. There is a fireplace there, with lots of dark wooden shelves built into the walls on either side of it. We start taking the things we want to save off the shelves. Two of the first things I grab are shiny, silver-colored, stainless-steel thimbles. My sister also grabs a similar thimble of her own. I look closely at both of the thimbles I have and see that they each have a small number 10 etched into them. Good - they're both mine, and my sister hasn't accidentally touched one of mine.

The shelves are mostly filled with CDs and DVDs in cases, but there are lots of other things there, too. We grab a few other small items, but the number of things we decide to save is tiny compared to the total number of things on the shelves. It doesn't take long until we look at what's left on the shelves and think, "There really isn't anything else here that's particularly important to me."

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Side notes:
When I realized what I'd seen and done in this dream, I laughed out loud. Those thimbles are what I've been using as a dream totem for more than four years now. They're supposed to be a reality-check tool. I saw it and handled it, and it never once occurred to me that I might be dreaming, nor that I should use it to see if I might be dreaming. How silly of me!

[TRIGGER WARNING: This journal entry contains content that recalls the shootings in Aurora, CO. Reader discretion is advised.]

Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm on the second floor of a big office building, and I take the elevator down to the first floor. There are a lot of other people in the elevator with me. I get an odd feeling that something big and important is about to happen in just a few moments.

I exit the elevator and walk out into the ground-floor lobby of the building. It's a large space with lots of glass that lets in sunlight, and there are lots of people walking through the lobby, going in all directions.

Suddenly, a man with some kind of small-to-medium-sized automatic weapon fires a short burst of gunfire into the air, in the middle of the room. Everyone in the lobby panics and tries to take cover, including me. [I know this nightmare was inspired directly by the recent Aurora theater shooting tragedy.] As the gunman continues shooting random people in the room, I hide under a long, low, rectangular wooden table with another young woman, about my own age, with brown hair. She and I whisper to each other about how this isn't very good cover, and how he's going to find us here any moment know. We're right - he does find us there, and threatens us with the firearm. I'm terrified that I'm about to be killed. Fortunately, I realize that I'm dreaming, and that that means I can just fly away. So I do. I fly away from the gunman in a straight line, passing right through the wall of the building without even realizing that I've done so until I'm well outside the building. When I'm some distance away, I look back at the tall office building I just left. I'm far enough away that the gunman is now little more than a dot, still visible through the windows.

[There was more to this dream; I went on to explore the rest of the dream while lucid, but I don't remember any of the specifics.]

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Side notes:
*derisive snort* And I call myself an oneironaut! I was having a nightmare, I became lucid, and I just used my dream control abilities to run away from the danger. Next time I go lucid during a nightmare, I will try to remember to stand up to the threat and talk it down.

By the way, I had this dream at a hotel, on Night #1 of my big relocation road trip.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[This is a catch-up post. These dreams are from the nights of December 24-27, 2011. Adult content warning for the one from December 25-26.]

Night of December 24-25

I'm at church, with my choir, accompanying our performance of “What Child is This?” on my clarinet. My clarinet keeps misfiring; some of the notes here and there refuse to play. I'm embarrassed. [This was definitely an anxiety dream. Exactly that actually happened during our choir rehearsal on Thursday, December 22, and I was afraid it was going to happen during the performance, which was the morning after I had this dream, on Christmas Day. Thankfully, it didn't happen; my clarinet worked fine.]

Night of December 25-26

I'm at this place that's kind of like a spa. It's a place for people to rest, relax, and renew. I'm in an outdoor area of this place, and it's a beautiful, warm, sunny day. I'm lying around on the ground, wearing only panties, along with several other women who are doing exactly the same. Other people are walking around the grounds, and the thought crosses my mind: Maybe I should go and put on some slightly more modest panties.

All of a sudden, I'm being molested by a group of two or three men. I manage to fight them off and struggle out of their grasp. All the while, I'm shouting at them, forcefully telling them to stop, and that I don't like or appreciate what they're doing. I end my tirade by telling another man, who's just sitting on the ground watching the proceedings, that he's a despicable jerk, too [or something to that effect; I don't remember my exact words here]. I tell him this because I know that he's being paid to be there as a witness to the scene that just unfolded. I also know that the molesters were also hired to do what they did. The men who hired them are also in the scene, standing around, watching it all happen. I know exactly what they're doing: They're lawyers, and they have a racket going on where they hire people to rape beautiful girls in establishments like the one I'm at, and then get the girls to sue those establishments for a lot of money, of which they get a percentage because they act as the girls' representation.

Night of December 26-27

I'm at work, but I'm participating in a dramatization of the work we do at my workplace for TV. The part of my boss [who I've mentioned in this DJ before] is being played by Tim Allen. I reflect that this was a strange casting choice, since he doesn't look at all like my boss, nor does he act much like him.

I'm watching a movie about a big, tall castle, a white one that looks like it came straight out of a fairy tale. I'm immersed in the movie, and I'm flying in circles around the top of the castle's high, central tower. There is a song playing on the movie soundtrack that I find kind of annoying, so I want to change the channel on the movie. Awww, man, the remote's all the way down there, I think to myself when I look down at the ground and see the TV remote control lying there. Then I think, Maybe I can get it by telekinesis. Wait a second. If I'm thinking about getting the remote by telekinesis, and flying around, I must be dreaming.

I stretch out my hand toward the remote control and concentrate on it, trying to use the force of my will to pull it into my hand. It doesn't work. Then, my mind calls up the primary example in my schema for what pulling an object into your hand with your mind looks like: the wampa cave scene from The Empire Strikes Back [starting at 2:20]. I think, It's kind of like the object is attached to a bungee cord that snaps it back into your hand. I try again, keeping that analogy in mind and focusing on it. This time, it works. The remote control flies up into my hand, just as if it were attached to a bungee cord.

At this point, I abruptly realize that during the time I've been concentrating on drawing the remote control into my hand, I haven't been concentrating on flying, so I've been gradually descending without noticing it. I'm now only a yard or two above the ground. I quickly correct for this and start climbing again. As I do so, I think, “And hurry! We're losing altitude fast!” And yes, “altitude” is the correct term in this instance, because this is a planet I'm flying over, not a moon. Even if it is just a dream planet. [This is a reference to the original version of the “Star Tours” ride from the Disney theme parks.] The remote control has transformed into a deodorant stick, which I use on myself. [? I don't even know.]

I woke up very pleased with myself, knowing that I could finally cross “Move an object with my mind” off my master list of lucid goals!

Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[Last night, I had a long, vivid, elaborate lucid dream that felt like it lasted between 10 and 20 minutes. This journal entry only reflects the most significant and memorable moments of that dream, which are all I remember now. There were other stretches of experience connecting the moments below that aren’t written down in detail, because I don’t remember them that well. They mostly consisted of me flying around and observing the scenery.]

I’m at my university, at some sort of outdoor expo, standing in a booth made up of some folding tables and an EZ-UP shade structure. It’s a sunny day. I’m supposed to be there to represent one of the organizations I’m in, and I’m supposed to be wearing that organization’s T-shirt, but I can’t find it. The only T-shirt I can find in our booth is one I got from [a client company that my company has done work for in real life]. The logo on the front of the T-shirt I have is the same shape as the logo of the organization I’m representing (an oval), and the overall T-shirt design is very similar, but the letters in the oval are different, and the T-shirt I actually have says “[the client company's name]” across the back. I change into this T-shirt anyway. I do it while standing behind the open back of some hatchback vehicle, hoping that nobody will see me, because [for some inexplicable reason], I’m not wearing a bra.

When I find myself looking at a very vivid, colorful cityscape from the viewpoint of flying over it, it only takes me a moment to realize that I’m dreaming. I slow myself down, controlling the speed of my flight, just observing the landscape around me.

I’m standing on the ground in that city. I look across the street and see the gates of ‘the Asian Disneyland.’ There are solid-colored, blue and pink, cartoony humanoid figures walking around on the other side of the metal gates. [They look just like the figures in this cartoon (WARNING: Ads on that page are likely NSFW).] I think, Heck yes, then fly over and enter the “Asian Disneyland.”

When I get inside, I am on the second story of what looks like an indoor mall, looking down onto the floor of the first story. When I see what’s down there, I realize, Of course, that’s what would be in the Asian Disneyland: casino table games. The entire first floor is full of them. I have absolutely no interest in this at all [true in real life, too], so I turn right around and go back out the entrance to the mall. [I am very, very sorry for the stereotype evident in the content of this dream.]

Once outside again, I go, “Oh, yeah!” when I recall the current Task of the Month: fly up into the sky and find out where all the snow comes from. I start flying up into the sky. There is a puffy cloud there, and I fly toward it, aiming to get on top of it. As I approach it, it turns from white to dark gray. Lightning flashes across it, and it reaches out to threaten me with a pseudopod made of dark-gray cloud. I think, Uh-oh. This dream is going to turn into a nightmare if I don’t take control of it. Just by thinking about it, I make the pseudopod stop threatening me and retreat back into the cloud, the lightning stop, and the cloud turn white again. The threat nullified, I continue flying toward the cloud. It turns dark gray again only a moment later, but I realize that that’s because I know that precipitation only falls from heavy, dark-gray clouds. [When I first read the Task of the Month for this month, my first reaction was, “I’m probably not going to find anything but clouds up there; I’m a little too rational-minded for that.” This dream experience proves that I was right.]

[Sure enough,] When I get on top of the cloud, there is nothing there – just cloud. I sit down cross-legged on top of the cloud and decide to fly around on it, using it as a mode of transportation, just like Goku does in “Dragonball Z.” While flying on the cloud, I find myself flying down a corridor that turns lots of corners at crazy angles, lined with doors on either side. [I don’t know what it was, but] Something about this situation makes me go, “Of course,” and then start singing: “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine,” etc. I continue singing as I fly through the corridor.

As I fly around some more, I think excitedly and proudly about how I’ll get to have my username in orange on DreamViews tomorrow or the next day. [Although now I don’t think I really deserve it, since I fulfilled the letter of the challenge but not its spirit. I really didn’t find out anything; all I found when I flew into the sky was the source of snow that I already expected to be to be there, namely, a cloud. I am so boring!]

I need to get out of a building very quickly. [It may or may not have been the mall-like building mentioned earlier. I think it was a different one, though.] The building has a glass wall right next to the entrance. I decide to go out through the glass wall. I run toward it. A second before I reach it, I focus my mind on activating my intangibility, an ability I have used in several dreams before. It works perfectly; I run right through the glass wall without breaking it, just like a ghost.

I’m in a circular meeting room with several levels of steps leading down to a central circle of floor. There are no chairs. There are a lot of people standing around in the room. I know that they’re all just DCs. They have gathered here to conduct a sort of tribunal to determine whether or not I am a goddess. Some of them have found out about the superhuman abilities I exhibit when I’m in the dream world, and have concluded that I am one, but others disagree. I think, I’m not a goddess. I’m just a human who knows how to lucid dream. I don’t say anything during the meeting, though. [I don’t know why not.]

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Side notes:
Wow. I really feel like I took a step forward in my dream control skills last night.

Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in a big, fancy hotel. Some guy starts chasing me through the hotel. I try to get away from him by running up the stairs, further into the hotel. I discover that each floor of the hotel is really split into two sub-levels, with two short, parallel sets of stairs connecting the two sub-levels. There are completely separate, longer sets of stairs connecting the different levels. I realize that one can run all the way around each sub-level in a loop by going up and down the stairs. [ ] At some point while I'm running away, some other guy diverts me into an area off to the side from where I'm running, behind a door, and closes the door. This other guy is helping me hide from/escape from the first guy.

[I know exactly what this was all about. I'm pretty sure this dream was an expression of my anxiety over the fact that I haven't gotten my NaNoWriMo novel anywhere near finished.]

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm driving through the parking lot of a shopping center, at night. There is a violent physical altercation going on in the parking lot, and it turns into a gunfight.

I'm now riding my bicycle through a nearby residential neighborhood, where there is more violence going on. It's still nighttime. As I ride, I pray that I won't get hit by a stray bullet. I also reflect that I could be driving to my destination, which is my old church, but I like bicycling better than driving. [This is true.] I miss the turn to get to St. Mark's.

I'm no longer riding my bicycle; I'm now standing in a black nothing. [I suspect that I might have DEILDed here, but I'm not positive.] I think of the destination I was just trying to get to, the parish hall at my old church, and cause a knife from the parish hall's silverware drawer to appear in my hand. A second later, the parish hall appears around me.

I walk through the room, appreciating the dream environment, as usual. A lot of people are there, including my parents. My dad comes up to me and offers to give me a hug, and I accept it and hug back. All the people are there for a big reception, with a lot of food laid out on tables.

After the reception, when everyone has left except me, my parents, and two or three other people, there is still a huge platter of thinly-sliced roast beef left over. I try to give it away to those two or three other people.

I wake up in my current bedroom, very pleased to have just had a lucid dream. I remember to grab my phone, which is running Ev's Lucid Dreaming App for Android, and draw a star on the screen with my finger to indicate that I just had a lucid dream. I draw the star, but very sloppily, with one point much bigger and longer than the other points. I'm concerned that the program won't recognize the gesture, but it does. It displays the gesture I just drew with the caption “lucidity!” underneath it, in the same font it always uses for those captions.

When I woke up for real, I thought to myself, You know, I bet I didn't actually record that lucid dream. The app wouldn't recognize the star if I drew it that poorly, and the caption always just says "lucid dream." I checked my actual phone and, sure enough, no "lucid dream" mark on my graph. That had, indeed, been a false awakening. I felt slightly frustrated, as well as highly amused that the app had shown up in one of my FAs.

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Side notes:

Wow. I'm pretty pleased with this DEILD, if that is indeed what it was, and with my sudden mastery of changing the dream scene. To be fair, though, I did change it to the destination I had been trying to reach in my non-lucid nightmare.

I didn't realize until after I woke up that the part where my dad hugged me was day residue. On the evening before I had this dream, I hadn't bothered to get up and hug my dad when he left the house, and I had regretted it. I thought it was awfully nice of my subconscious to give me a second chance to do that.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in my family's house [it doesn't look anything like any of our real houses]. P. has a terrible secret that she can't stand to tell our parents, so she's making me tell them for her. She actually cries when she tries to talk about it, because she feels so bad about it. Information about the secret is hidden on the computer in a file called “Sisters.nxt,” which is the type of file that contains programming instructions for the toy robots we use at my teaching job.

Our parents come in, and I gather my courage and tell Mom the terrible secret. Everyone is upset, including me.

When I woke up, I was quite stunned that it had just been a dream. It had been incredibly vivid and realistic. I actually made mental notes to call my sister and ask her if she was okay, and to to check my real computer later for a file named “Sisters.nxt.” [There was none, of course.]

I'm in my car [my new-to-me one], on my driveway. It rolls backward down the driveway, even though the parking brake is set. [Anxiety. I am afraid of this happening.] As I turn around to look behind me, I see JM backing a big truck up to our driveway. I smile and wave at him.

I'm back in the same house from earlier, with my parents. My mom's hair has suddenly turned gray, and is short and fluffy. It has two parts that come to a point on the top of her head, which she is feeling with her fingertips to find out how they go. My dad's hair is also turning gray. I realize that I'm back in the unfamiliar house that appeared in my previous dream, and therefore, that I'm dreaming.

I turn away from my parents and walk around the house, observing. The rooms are spacious and empty in the middle. Thoughts about how all this is a dream and not real just won't leave me alone, even though I try to ignore them, for fear that thinking about it too much will cause the dream to fade and me to wake up. I remember that I should try to stabilize and ground myself in the dream by engaging more of my senses, so I go looking for something to eat.

One of the rooms of the house is a kitchen. I open the refrigerator and get out one of those little plastic, single-serving cups of applesauce. I open it up and eat it directly out of the cup, by sticking my tongue into it. It tastes just like applesauce, but the flavor isn't as strong as it would be in reality. I also find that my lips are all tingly and semi-numb, as if I'd had a Novacaine shot that was wearing off. I think, That's happening because these sensations of eating aren't real.

[Dreamskip.] I'm outside, and I remember that I wanted to fly in this dream. I try to take off twice, and both times, I succeed only in jumping about six or eight feet and then falling back down to the ground. The first time, I end up on my butt. After the second time, I think, Wait, don't I usually do this just by thinking about flying? So I do, and it works. I fly around the beautiful scenery of a bunch of ocean harbors and inlets with towns on them. At one point, I fly through some power lines [?] intangibly. [I don't feel any sensation associated with it, though.] As I fly, I go, “Wheeee!”

I'm outside a big church building at night, still flying around.

I'm inside a shop full of shoes and other fashion items. It is owned by Yusuf, who is minding it. I fly through the shop and out the front entrance, into a street.

I'm now outside that same big church building during daylight. I say to myself, “It's daytime now because my real body says so.” I say this because I know it must be light outside by now, and I'm sure my body clock knows that. I decide to just walk across the grass to get to the entrance of the church, but then I use a small burst of my flight powers to get up all six steps in one leap.

There is some big event going on on an outdoor lawn, with tents or shade covers set up. [I don't really remember this part very well.]

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Side notes:

Last night was the one-year anniversary of the night I had my first substantial lucid dream. That fact made me really motivated to have another cool lucid dream, and I succeeded in having one. I was really pleased and proud of myself that I had. I wasn't quite as euphoric about it as I was that first night, but I was pretty happy. I'm really happy with what I've experienced in my dream life this year, but, of course, there's much more I want to do and learn. Here's to many more years of lucid dreams!

Non-lucid, Possibly lucid?, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm trying to drive to a destination, and I go through an intersection and end up on a winding road that leads down the side of a mountain to a lake. I recheck my directions and realize that I was supposed to turn right at that last intersection. I start retracing my route and going back up the hill.

I'm at an outdoor amphitheater in Disney California Adventure. I'm way in the back of the amphitheater area, on some bleachers, watching a stage show. There is a bizarre structure on the horizon as you're looking at the stage; it looks like a pyramid with the points sticking out in a bunch of different directions, like what you would see if you put a normal pyramid in the center of a spherical structure with mirrors on all the inside surfaces. The show starts out with red fireworks that shoot out from the vicinity of this structure. The first round explodes in the sky above and to the right of the audience, the second arcs down to and explodes on the round, concrete slab of a second amphitheater behind and to the right of the audience, and the third explodes just above the audience's heads. I'm afraid that I'm going to catch on fire, but I don't.

On stage, there's some sort of announcement from a villainous character in the show that we need to prepare to be tortured. He also says that all the women should stay in the main viewing area, while all the men should move to the building at the back of the theater with the indoor concession and souvenir stands. They all do so. Then, large snakes appear throughout the viewing area. One is close enough to me to touch me with the end of its tail, which I know is poisonous [um, what?]. It's very long and all coiled around on top of itself. I visually pick out its head and tail from among the mass, and try to avoid them as I pick it up and attempt to toss it away from me. This doesn't work. It wraps itself around my waist and legs, binding me in place. I'm scared, but I resign myself to it when I realize that I can't get it off and that it's just a part of the show anyway.

After the show, which felt like it had lasted about 50 minutes, I make my way down to the stage. One of my college girlfriends is getting married here at Disney California Adventure. Several of the other girls from our group are bridesmaids, and they're all wearing long, grayish-white dresses with Disney vacation scenes on them. Two of them are pregnant, including EB. I'm here to attend the wedding, too, but I don't talk to any of them. When the wedding party starts taking pictures, I walk back to the concession and souvenir building at the back of the amphitheater.

My walk there takes me along a gently-curving grass path marked with steppingstones with the shapes of different Disney character heads on them. This path marks the edge of the amphitheater seating area. When I get into the concession and souvenir building, I talk to one of the men who was watching the show. He says the boys had their own torture: during the entire time the show was going on, they were all held in one area and none of them were allowed to pee. I tell him that the free T-shirts can be picked up at the Great American Icee stand, over there.

The dream I've been having fades to black [it may have been the one above, or a different one, I'm not quite sure]. When it does, I realize exactly what's going on, close my eyes, and think, When I open my eyes, I will be back in another dream. I open them, and I'm back at the same amphitheater, but the scenario is different.

[I'm not 100% sure I was lucid for this next part, though.] This time, there are a whole bunch of patriotic greeting cards in boxes at the back. Everyone there has been making them to send to the families of military members and people who died in the 9/11 attacks. Some people are still making them. I see that one lady in the back row has a plate full of lasagna, and take a bite with a fork. She tells me not to eat the lasagna, that it's for the people being honored.

Another show starts in the amphitheater. As it starts, people in front of me stand up, which forces me to stand up, too. I talk with the family to my left. They ask me about a “magic wand” that can be used to uncover secrets and extra content in the park. I point out one that a Cast Member down on a walkway that we can see from our seats is using. It looks a lot like a big, black metal detector, with a bunch of black tubes on top that form a Mickey head shape in the center. It detects sensors embedded in the ground and plays a sound when it finds them. The family climbs up onto the roof of the pagoda structure covering the back of the stands to get a better view of the stage, which is easy to do. I say, “Hey! That's rude!” but follow them up there anyway.

[Later, I had another dream in which I was definitely lucid, but I don't remember how it started or very many of the details. Here's what I do remember:]

I'm in an indoor environment, just walking around and admiring the scenery. I know none of this is real and acknowledge that fact in my mind, but I deeply appreciate how the scenery and the daylight illuminating it look completely real.

When I get to the top floor of the building I'm in, I attempt to fly through the ceiling, but it doesn't work. I just bump into the ceiling, which is completely solid to me. It's a stucco ceiling.

I'm flying around above a city, observing it from the air. Another female dream character [no one I know in real life] is flying with me. I take it slow, finding that I have full control over my speed and direction, but not wanting to do any more than relax and take it all in. I increase my altitude, and the other girl follows. We talk while flying. [I don't remember about what.]

[This is a catch-up post. These dreams are from the night of June 27-28, 2011.]

I'm creeping around a parking lot, in the nude. [This has been a recurring circumstance in my dreams lately. Why is that, I wonder?] I'm trying to get to my car without being seen by anyone.

I'm in a room with a small stage, with a full set for a play on it, where people are rehearsing for a play. Nobody is playing the part of Morgan, so I jump in to play that role. In the play, Morgan is a little girl who watches her mom get murdered right in front of her, in their home. The mom is lying in her bed, and the murderer is some guy who shoots her with a rifle while she's lying there. As I'm acting out Morgan's part, I scream and shriek horrifically in reaction to this, and I start crying real tears. When the scene has ended, I tell the director of the play and the other actors that I'll probably really cry every time we rehearse this scene, but then I take it back, saying: “Even I know better than to do that. If I do that, then I won't have anything left for the performance.”

I'm riding in a car with my parents. We're discussing the washing instructions for a baseball cap that my mom has. They say to 'show' the cap to dry it, and I explain to my mom that the intended meaning there was to 'display' it, e.g., to leave it sitting out to dry. We also discuss how my mom recently had to have the password for some online account set, and in order to do that, they had to ship a packet of papers containing the printed password from Florida to somewhere else on the East Coast.

I'm in a big, cathedral-like building where a lot of people have gathered for a religious service, or a performance, or something like that. We've given everyone a password so that those who want to [and who have laptops] can log in to a Web site to see what's really going on behind the scenes of what's happening in front of them on stage. Apparently, the service/performance/whatever-it-is has something to do with Inception, because I have a printed book that is a dictionary of its characters, items, and concepts.

[Fragment] I'm taking all the bedclothes off my bed, and I realize that what makes my bed so soft and comfortable isn't the mattress itself, but the mattress pad. [This has been a concern of mine in real life lately, pursuant to my upcoming move to a new place with a new mattress.]

[This is a catch-up post. These dreams are from the nights of June 12-13 and 14-15, 2011.]

Night of June 12-13

There is a murder investigation taking place in a house that looks a lot like my grandparents' house. I am directly involved, and the investigation is highly elaborate and has a detailed plot, with lots of dialog. [Of course, I can't remember any of the specifics now.] Partway through, the dream morphs from live-action into a Tim Burton stop-motion movie featuring the Grim Reaper, who “kills” me. I somehow know I'm not really dead, though. I fall over backwards from the force of the scythe-blow and land in a sling, suspended from a moving, overhead track; it's part of a theme park ride. The ride takes me through “heaven” and ends with me exchanging salutes with Weird Al, who is standing in for Jesus on the ride.

Night of June 14-15

[Bizarre, Disneyland-related dreams FTW! This time,] I'm with a vivacious traveling companion, and we have time-traveled to the year 2011. [Whether backward or forward, I do not know.] We wonder how we know what year it is, until we come up with the obvious answer: “Because that's the year we set the time machine for?”

The entrance to the new version of Star Tours is in a rotating building with revolving doors. [This dream was in anticipation of the upcoming weekend; I was planning to go to Disneyland to ride the new Star Tours the following Sunday, June 19th, and I did.] Inside, there is a loading/staging area for the ride with circular staging zones.

“Abilene!” I say to a 1-year-old girl who is in the staging area with me. “You know you can't be on the end [of the row of seats]!” I take her spot in the staging area, making her and the other little kids move over along the row, toward the outside of the circle.

[I have been writing DJ entries throughout June, both by hand in a paper journal and in a document on my hard drive. I feel like working on bringing my online DJ up to date tonight, so I'm going to.]

Night of June 5-6

I'm in a bedroom that resembles the one I had at House #2, but isn't exactly like it. I'm getting dressed, and my mom is in the room. I explain to her that I don't own any khakis or chinos, only jeans and black pants. [This is almost, but not quite, true in real life. I do have some khaki capris, but only one pair.] In a drawer, I find a couple of pairs of khaki capris, one pair of which is a light brown with a pretty, darker brown pattern of flowers and leaves on it. I think they might be too small for me, but I put them on anyway.

Night of June 6-7

A woman is being held in a dark, underground room. She's being tortured by having her hands bound together above her head in such a way that her elbows are being forced to bend the wrong way. She laughs and is good-humored about it, but this is just a facade to hide the horrible pain she's in. Other torture goes on, with torture implements, and other scary things happen [but I no longer remember the details]. All of the events of the dream unfold visually, but are accompanied by ongoing, simultaneous background narration provided by [a novelist whose audiobooks I often listen to]. The events are are all part of one of his novels, which I'm listening to. [I've been listening to his stories all these years, and they're just now giving me nightmares? Actually, I think I know why this might be: Now, I actually have a visual image in my memory to go with the concept of 'torture implements.' I got this visual image from seeing “Limitless;” that scene freaked me out, and I had to look away. That fact, plus the fact that I was really anxious about real-life stuff as I was going to sleep on this night, most likely caused the nightmare.]

Night of June 8-9

I instinctively realize that I'm pregnant, with twins, while I'm out and about, doing something. Later, I go to a hospital because I think it's my time to give birth, but it doesn't happen.

[Different scene.] I'm with a bunch of my friends, cleaning up the mess left behind after some big event in a large, indoor area. Cleaning up includes gathering together, sorting, and storing all the leftover pens and markers that were being given away at the event.

[Yet another scene.] I'm going to the hospital for a checkup.

At some point [I don't remember in which scene it was], I put my hand on my lower abdomen to feel the small bump that's starting there, and think about how I should stop drinking soda and eating unhealthy foods. [This dream felt very real while I was in it, so much so that when I woke up and recalled it, I went, “Wow, all that was just a dream? Whew, that's a relief!”]

I'm in House #1. [So much for recognizing dream signs... :/] I look through a window that looks out onto the patio from the side opposite the dining room [um... in real life, that would be the bathroom window, from which such a view would be impossible...] and see that there's a wasps' nest hanging from the eaves outside the dining-room window.

I'm in the garage, and I say goodbye to P. There are two cool, old, red, elongated, flat-topped cars there (one might have been a convertible). My parents are taking me out somewhere, but I haven't been able to find anything I want to wear, so I'm only wearing my royal blue bathrobe. [I used to have this robe in real life, but I don't anymore.]

[Dreamskip.] I'm driving the brown car into the parking lot where our hair salon and the OSH hardware store are [back in our old town]. I'm naked, so I try to crouch down so that the other drivers around don't see me. When I try to park, the driver of the car that's parked crookedly in the space next to mine decides to back out and straighten his parking job, coming close to hitting my car, but narrowly missing it. I cower in my seat, frightened. When the driver gets out of his car and comes over to talk to me, I look down to check the arrangement of my blue bathrobe, which I'm suddenly wearing again, and make sure it's covering me decently. The other driver tells me that he didn't hit me.

Then, four young boys (10 or so) come to my car and start pestering me relentlessly, climbing in it and all over it and talking to me loudly and annoyingly. I yell as loudly as I can at them to GO AWAY. I'm surprised that I'm capable of yelling with that volume. After I yell at them like that about three times, they finally go away. I'm trying to keep my blue robe on and maintain my modesty, with only partial success. I continue to do so once I've moved from my car to a patio table on the sidewalk outside the hardware store. [I don't recall getting from one location to the other.] People pass me by on the sidewalk as I try to keep the robe up. Next to me on the sidewalk, B.W. and his chorale friends are getting dressed for a performance.

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Side notes:

This was an interesting twist on a classic anxiety dream. It featured the common dream scenario of being naked in a public place and ashamed of it, but it combined that scenario with two stressful occurrences from my waking life: a minor car accident in a parking lot, and the very spirited all-boys class I've been teaching once a week. In the dream, I yelled more loudly than I ever have in real life. Do I unconsciously wish I could yell that loud in reality? It's a plausible hypothesis.

Non-lucid, Semi-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm in an old, dusty, dark shop with gray-brown, wooden walls, a high ceiling, and lots of rows of wooden shelves. Mr. H. [my first music teacher] is there. When I see him, I tell him that I'm glad to see that he's still around and still active.

There is a sign hanging from the ceiling above a passageway that leads to another room. The sign points the way to different departments of the store. I walk through the passageway into another, larger area of the shop. This area is the grocery store. A large family with a bunch of kids is grocery shopping there. I hear one of the members of the family mention that they only ever buy produce from Ralphs [a grocery store chain in my area], so they won't be buying any here.

[The dream shifts, and] I'm playing Petpet Park. I'm controlling my usual player character from a third-person perspective, just like in real life, yet my computer isn't part of the dream; the world of the game is the world of the dream, and I'm controlling my character using only my will. [That was pretty awesome, especially for a non-lucid.] I'm walking around a spooky, Halloweeny-themed area [that looks nothing like any of the ones that exist on the real site]. I'm inside an old building. While there, I set off a quest by causing a penguin non-player character to start walking forward from his spot next to the wall. He's off on his way to make a potion. This event is the first in a quest series that is accessible to non-paying members as well as paying members. I spend some Nickcash to get into a small room off to the side.

I decide not to go through a narrow doorway into an area where I could start some other quests. Then, the spooky atmosphere of the area starts to scare me, and I decide I want to get out of there. After getting outdoors, I decide to try to fly to Celestial City. [Celestial City is another in-game area with a more beautiful, peaceful mood. In the real game, player characters cannot fly. I think the fact that it occurred to me to try to reach another in-game area by flying indicates that I was gradually beginning to realize that I was dreaming, and not playing the actual game.] I fly away from the ground [or rather, my player character does; the dream is still in third-person point of view], deliberately playing the Celestial City background music in my mind. I close my eyes [somewhere around here, the dream shifted into first-person point of view] and open them again, trying to make it daytime, instead of nighttime. It works for a few seconds, but the sky quickly darkens to night again.

[The dream shifts again, and] I'm watching a scene from a movie involving a flyover view of an airport. I can easily identify the shooting location as Ontario International Airport because of the view of the mountains rising behind the airport buildings. In terms of design, the buildings resemble the old buildings that were all there was to the airport back when I was a little kid. They're bigger than the old ones, though, and in the same position as the new buildings, although they're not as long as the new buildings.

[Dreamskip.] I find myself flying over L.A. and the ocean. I am now definitely lucid. I can feel my pulse pounding in my head. I strongly suspect that the sensation is coming from my real body, but I choose to ignore that thought and focus my attention firmly on the dream. I use the moving-my-fists-together-or-apart technique I've described in previous entries to control my flight.

I'm driving along Pacific Coast Highway. I decide I want to drive to Newport Beach. I know I've succeeded when I pass a motel that has a sign on it that says “Newport Beach.” I also pass another, two-story motel that has water slides built right into the front of it.

When I get to the street that leads down to the beach, I turn left, then peel off to the right to follow the road that leads down from the mesa and over to the beach. [This road exists in real life. The motels do not, as far as I know.] Since I've met my goal of driving to the beach, I think, I am awesome!

[This is a catch-up post. This dream is from the night of December 30-31, 2010.]

I'm in a classroom in Britain. We're playing a game that involves the chalkboard, and walking in between two desks.

I'm in a room (possibly a hotel room; there's a bed in it, anyway) with Q [from Star Trek: The Next Generation]. I attempt to walk through one of the walls of the room, but get stuck halfway through it, and yell at him for messing with me. He manifests a bouncy ball made out of water, and we both bounce it back and forth.

[Dreamskip.] I'm still in that same room, but now I'm lying down on the floor under the bed. I'm stuck there somehow and can't get up. Q and some random (apparently) human woman are having sex on the bed. It's way too hot and stuffy in the room, and I'm starting to feel like there's no air in there. I get up and open the door. There's a screen door behind it. Later, I explain to Q why I did that. I say, “Did you forget that I needed oxygen to breathe?” He doesn't seem to mind that I opened the door.

I'm at a party with my mom and a bunch of her teacher friends. We're all on an outdoor patio of a restaurant at first, and then we all get into a rectangular ride vehicle that [somehow] works as a Gravitron. We all strap ourselves into our seats, and the vehicle starts moving forward. While it's moving, I look at a door on the side of the vehicle, labeled Door #6. I don't think it's closed all the way, so I reach over and try to close it, but I end up opening it. This makes the ride shut down, since I've just depressurized the cabin, and makes everyone else on the ride angry at me. A voice over the loudspeaker says, “Next time, the useless will have no reason to be here.” I defend myself by saying, “I didn't know how to close it!” An alarm is going off. I woke up at this point.

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Side notes:
I realized after I woke up from this dream that, for the second time since I've been keeping a regular dream journal, sense data from my real body came through into my dream. In this case, it was so cold on this night that I slept with all the blankets pulled up over my head. I really was trying to breathe hot, stuffy air in reality, so that became true in my dream, too. I think that's a pretty cool phenomenon.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, Dream within a dream, [Commentary made while awake]

[This is a catch-up post. These dreams are from December 24-27, 2010.]

Night of December 23-24

I'm playing Neopets, and I somehow obtain an item that makes a particular level of a particular Flash game easier.

I'm with P. in a hotel/bookstore. It's 12:30 A.M., according to an analog clock. [That's what my handwritten notes say, anyway.]

I'm at my high school, once again visiting the second row of portables located a little distance to the west of the main campus. [These portables don't exist in real life, but did appear in a previous dream, namely, the last dream in this DJ entry.] I'm walking around with no shoes on. As I climb up the steps into one of those distant portables, I wonder whether I'm going to get in trouble for that.

Night of December 24-25

[I only have a very vague memory of this dream, especially now that I'm reconstructing it from handwritten notes this long after the fact (1/15/11). I've reconstructed it from my handwritten notes as best I can.]

I'm at dream!Disneyland, watching a video in a theater. I also have a lucid dream within a normal one. When I first realize that I'm dreaming, I try to fly, but I can't. There are three DCs there, one of whom introduces himself to me and to the other two, and says something about how he isn't sure if we've met in reality or not. [Hmmmm... very interesting.] I actually tell the three of them that I'm dreaming. I get a second shot at completing a mission, and this time, I succeed. The mission involves saving the son of some teacher from someone. To complete it, I have to go into a room full of computer workstations and press a red, rectangular button that I find on someone's workstation. I couldn't find it the first time. At the end, when everything around me is blowing up [I think], I'm lying face down, going, “Please be a dream... please be a dream...” because I'm convinced that it's reality.

I wake up out of my lucid, back into the regular, non-lucid dream I'd been having before.

Night of December 26-27

I'm riding along on my bicycle. A mechanical arm attached to an overhead conveyor belt grabs my bike and pulls it into this big, elaborate, two-story construct that's a combination of a maze, a play structure, and an amusement-park ride, with me still on the bike. I think, I thought things like this only existed in dreams! I didn't think anyone had actually built one as a ride! [LOL, more dream sign fail...] I'm excited to be going into it, though, because I know it's an amusement-park ride/activity and it'll be fun. The conveyor belt goes up at an angle, taking me up to the second floor. When I get there, I get off my bike and go inside a room. Other people are there, including some real-life friends [I think; I don't really remember who now]. We're all role-playing that we're scientists in a laboratory [I think], because that's part of the ride.

The next thing I remember is realizing that being put in [artificial] danger is also part of the ride. I run toward the double doors through which I came into the room and open them by punching them. They swing outward, and I see that I've opened them just in the nick of time – just after the doors open, I see a locking bolt on one of the doors shoot out automatically. If I hadn't opened the doors when I did, we would have been locked inside.

[I don't remember the transition to the next scene.] I'm in a large bike repair shop. My red bike [the one I have in real life right now] has been taken here, and I want it back. The female DC who runs the bike repair shop gives it back to me, along with a brand-new pair of long black-and-gray bicycle shorts, which are lying in a particular spot on the floor, waiting for me.

[Fragment] Something about a [different] female DC who is infected with some kind of microbes that, when active, cause her body to become excessively warm.