Hopeless Wanderings

This is my fourth night of remembering dreams in a row! hip hip hooray
-I wrote in my daily Waking Journal last night. I don't know if that's what's helping me or if I'm just naturally getting better at recalling dreams.

I was in a gay relationship with an old friend, S. We only went out once and I don't think we ever kissed or anything. Before that, I told AP I was gay and she was very accepting. But I wasn't actually gay, I was just pretending to be in a relationship with this girl because I couldn't find the right guy. S was actually really nice and I think she really liked me.

It had been quite awhile since we first went out and I hadn't really talked to her since. I felt kind of bad about that. We both had these mini journals that we would write in. I found a pencil in my closet that looked like it was from kindergarten. But then I looked at the date and it said 1998 and I thought no, I was older than that back then(but now that I think about it, I was actually 6 years old back then, kindergarten age). Anyways, I sneaked a peek at S;s journal and it mentioned how she was feeling lonely, probably because I wasn't talking to her. So I took the pencil and wrote something in my journal, like that I did care about her, and drew flowers by it.

Sometime in between this dream, I was with my sister and it was Christmas Day(it IS Christmas Day!) in the morning. The parents had gone for a bike ride and we were waiting to open presents so we went to Starbucks. It was an outdoor Starbucks and it was very crowded. While waiting in line, Steph said she was going to get a chocolate frapp with double chocolate syrup and whip cream(or something like that). She told me that she ordered a book on ebay with all the secret Starbucks recipes you could order.

Then it went back to the S dream. I was meeting S for a date and I have my drink in hand, which was some kind of frapp. We were walking towards each other on each side of these benches that had overgrown grass and flowers by them. It was kind of a pretty scene. I woke up before I could sit down.

I woke up with the song "Holland Road" by Mumford and Sons playing in my head. The "ahh ahh ah ahhh... if you believe in me I'll still believe" part was playing.

Merry Christmas!