effortless

My bags by my feet, elbows resting on the railing, I take in the breathtaking view of the canyon behind Chris' house for what I know will be the last time.

I hear a sliding glass door open and close behind me, but ignore it until I hear a voice. "Do you mind if I smoke out here?"

Annoyed slightly by the interruption, I quip back without turning around "If I say yes, will that actually stop you from smoking, or will you just move further down and pretend the smoke can't possibly bother me from there?"

Turning around now to watch Brad's reaction, I give him my best stone cold gaze.

Brad gives a surprised laugh, holding up both his hands in protest, one hand grasping onto a pack of Marlboros and one of those cheap plastic gas station lighters. "Okay then, I guess you want to be alone.." muttering under his breath ".,jeez."

I smile slightly now, leaning back against the railing "No really, it's just a question. I'm interested. If I said that I minded, would you really go back inside?"

He looks at me perplexed, not sure if he should tell me the truth. "I probably would just not smoke, considering I was just using it as an excuse to talk to you more."

"Ah," I falter now, looking away from his eyes and turning back around to face the canyon, wondering why he would bother wanting to talk to me. "Well you can smoke if you want."

Brad takes this as an invitation, and steps up next to me. He has already put the cigarettes and lighter back in his pocket. "So you're leaving, huh?"

I nod awkwardly, I never like to talk about my travels, because it always leads to a lie. "Yep, just waiting on the cab. he said he was about ten minutes out"

Brad nods back, trying his hardest to make eye contact with me, and finally succeeding. "Where to?"

I shrug and half sigh, knowing this is where the lie comes in. I had made plans a few hours before to rent out the entire Turtle Inn resort in Belize. I needed to feel alone to deal with the issue of losing Chris, my only friend and confidante that has come close to knowing the "real me" after all these years. I still hadn't bought the plane ticket though, I decided to wait until I got to the airport for that. So I wasn't completely lying to him.

Instead of all that, I reply "I don't know. I usually figure that out when I get to the airport."

Brad raises an eyebrow. "Really."

More awkward nodding "Really. It's the best way to travel. No expectations, no strings, no plans."

"And you do this all alone?" his eyes search mine questioningly, and I mistake the look for pity.

Defensively, I reply "Yes, I always go alone."

I can hear the cab roll up the driveway and he honks twice.

"That's my cue." I mutter as I scoop up my bags and start walking towards the driveway. "Bye."

Brad looks at my back wistfully as I walk away "Huh" he says to himself, still trying to figure me out. "See you later!" He calls out to me.

I put a hand up and wave without turning around, thinking "Yeah right"

"LAX please.." as I hand the cabbie my duffel bag and he closes the door behind me. As we drive away, I don't look behind me.