effortless

I "awaken" in the dream in a bedroom and I realize several things at once.

I am in a guest bedroom of Chris' house and packing clothes into a duffel bag. I know that since that night at the White Party, that Chris and I's relationship has returned to it's original state, simply platonic. I know that his relationship with Demi has progressed as expected, and that they are planning on moving in together soon. Because of this, the time Chris and I have spent with one another in the past few days will be the last time I will ever see him, and I am preparing to say goodbye to him for the last time.

While packing, I am oblivious to what is going on outside of the room - but I can see outside of my "dream self" and see Chris answering the door, his friend Brad stopping by on a planned visit between him and Chris to hang out. Brad has been divorced for several months and is easing back into the bachelorhood with reconnecting with his old friend Chris.

While they are exchanging pleasantries and unpacking food brought by Brad and putting beer in the fridge - I half shout from the room while still packing

"Hey Chris, I'm on my way to LAX - I already called a cab and it should be here soon so I'm going to pack up my stuff and wait out on the veranda, okay?"

Brad looks accusingly at Chris, this is supposed to be a guy's only meeting. "Who is that? Someone's here?"

Chris replies "Yeah it's just a friend. Hey you should meet her, she's really cool."

Brad shakes his head immediately "No, no way, man. You know how I feel about meeting people like this, it's always way entirely awkward and makes me uncomfortable."

Chris sortof chuckles, trying to smooth things over "Come on, just a quick hello. You heard her, she's on her way out anyway. Please? Quick and painless, I promise." Chris puts his hands together in a prayer motion

Disgusted with himself for caving, Brad rolls his eyes while grabbing a beer as they head to the living room. "Fine, but if this goes badly you owe me big time." Brad is pointing to Chris with the beer bottle in his hand.

Chris is giddy with excitement "Thank you, you got it, I'll owe you big time."

I come out of the room, preoccupied with my duffel bag still open, double checking to make sure I haven't left anything behind, a backpack slung on my other shoulder. I am headed to the livingroom where I have left my laptop and my digital camera.

"Hey Chris, did you hear me? I'm on my way out, do you know if I forgot anything? I always am afraid I'm going to leave something here" I make my way into the living room where I drop the duffel bag on the ground go over to a table where I left my laptop, closing the lid, unplugging usb cords etc.

"No, I'm sure you got everything, X. Hey listen, have you met my friend Brad before? He just came over to watch the game."

Brad extends his hand towards me even though I am still dealing with wrapping cords one by one and placing them into my pack. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

I glance up at him quickly, but look at him straight in the eyes, and say nonchalantly "Yeah, hi." and go back to looking at what I am doing. Done with the cords, I put the laptop in my backpack and then reach for my camera "Well if you find anything that you think might be mine, just burn it okay?" I ask, addressing Chris again.

Brad is stunned, pulling back his extended hand awkwardly, unsure of what just happened. Chris mouths "Oh my GOD" to himself, my reaction is exactly what he had hoped would happen. It's not everyday that Brad Pitt gets passed over by a female, but Chris knew that if anyone would do it, that it would be me.

I am still talking and oblivious to their reactions as I place my camera in my backpack and zip it up, placing it on my shoulders and going back to where I left my duffel bag. "I'm serious, I don't want your girlfriend finding a sock of mine or something and freaking out about it, so promise you'll check the room." Leaning down to zip up the duffel bag and picking it up, I walk over to Chris and look at him face to face, for the last time.

"Say you promise." I say to him.

"I promise." Off my distrusting look, he reiterates "I promise, I really do. Now give me a hug."

I instantly soften, dropping my bag to give him a hug, a tight squeeze that is at the same time comfortable yet still intertwined with a feeling of regret of a path not taken that is shared by us both.

Brad is still taken aback by the whole exchange, staring unabashedly at me. That is when Chris coughs uncomfortably, and remembering we are being watched we release each other, and I again pick up my duffel bag.

"So I'll see you later then?" I grin at my own joke, knowing that I will never see him again.

Chris snorts and can't help but grin back. So much being unsaid between us, but nothing that can be done about it. "Yeah, later. Take care of yourself, okay?"

I nod, taking his question seriously. "You take care of yourself too."

I look at Brad once more, as I am walking backwards towards the door. "And it was nice meeting you."

One last glance at Chris as I open the door to walk outside to wait for my cab. "Bye" Chris waves goodbye and I close the door and walk further outside to wait for my cab.