lucid

While I was driving to my cousins house, I saw huge ziplock bags of weed everywhere on the street! I was suddenly with my younger boy cousin and he was saying how we should take one. We saw ahead that there were some police cars and hazardous waste signs that taped off the end of the street. I turned my car around and yelled at him to grab one bag. He got out of the car, grabbed a bag and hopped back in. The cops didn't see us so we drove off and went back to his apartment. His sister was home and we told her about the incident.

My younger guy cousin immediately ran into the bathroom, grabbed a handful of the weed and began smoking it rapidly. I told him to calm down but he didn't listen. He started taking handfuls and shoving it in his mouth and eating it. I think he ate half the bag. I looked really ill/sick all of a sudden. He turned really pale and went to go lie down on the bed in the living room. The smoke was still in the air but I didn't inhale it. My girl cousin ran into the bathroom and starting talking about how high her brother was and she unconsciously inhaled the smoke that was still in the air.

After a few minutes my guy cousin started to gag and cough up blood everywhere. It looked like he was searching for the bag of weed but I put it in the bathroom so he couldn't reach it. He smoked way too much so he couldn't really get up but he was still coughing up a lot of blood. Then he started spilling blood from every orifice of his body and I was so scared I didn't know what to do. I decided to confiscate the weed but when I went in the bathroom his sister was in the same state as him but she was functional because she didn't intake as much. It looked like she wanted to kill me and she got up to attack. I was so scared I knew I had to leave but for some reason I felt the urge to gather my belongings before I left. I snatched the remaining bag of weed and was looking for my shoes and keys and my bag. She was walking towards me but really slow. I grabbed my keys and put on my shoes and was going to grab my bag but when I turned around she was right next to me. I screamed and ran out the door. I ran to where I parked my car but she suddenly started running after me, fast. I tried opening my car but you know sometimes when things just don't go as quickly as you want it to or you can't move as fast as you want? Yeah, well that was happening and she was getting closer and I thought I was going to die so I tried to wake myself up by telling myself I need to wake up NOW.. and I did. But only for a brief moment. I fell back asleep and went back into the same dream except this time, I did my reality check thing where I try breathing with my nose and mouth shut, and I became some what lucid. I wasn't 100% lucid because I couldn't control everything as I pleased but I did make her disappear and I spun around in circles and when I stopped I was in my living room.

There was a random man and a woman in my living room and they were crouching over one of my cats. He was opening him with his knife and made a long incision across his stomach. I screamed at him to stop, and that he was killing my cat so he began suturing the cut.
It was as if I was in one level deeper into my dreams because things were really blurred and mixed together. All of a sudden the woman let out my cats and dogs and they were running around. I have 3 cats and 1 dog but there were two extra (a small kitten and a puppy). I have never seen them before but apparently they were mine. She informed me that I forgot about the cat and left her in the cage for the past year and she was almost dead from starvation. She was really skinny and frail and they took her away. The small puppy was really bloated and round. According to the woman I forgot about these two and neglected them all this time. I couldn't believe it because I would never do such a thing but I did. I was holding the puppy in my bedroom while sitting on my bed and I closed my eyes and started to cry. But when I opened them I was suddenly in another place.

In this dream everything is really disconnected. I was at my high school trying to get my schedule from the office in one moment, and frantically searching for my class the next. Then I was in the cafeteria trying to buy some bread but they wouldn't sell it to newcomers. Then I was suddenly talking to my friend on the phone from a hotel room and asked him what he was doing. He said he was going to meet his 4 guy friends and I could come if I felt like it.
I was pulling up my leggings and when I looked around I was standing in the middle of a vast field. It was raining with grey skies. Across the distance I saw the sea but there was a storm. Someone came and was standing near me. I couldn't recognize who or what he was because he was extremely blurry.

I found myself outside a shopping mall with my girl friends. We were all around 12 years old. We were playing a game similar to tag. One person would run and the other had to tag them in a certain amount of time or they lost. I was chasing one of my friends but she was extremely fast and I couldn't catch her at first. But I had more endurance so when she slowed down I barely caught up with her and tagged her. We gathered the remaining winners that were down to three; me, my friend and the friend I tagged. We had to do a three way tag kind of thing.
But before we started I found myself walking alongside the beach coastline. I passed a tree that had my ex first love stuck to it upside down wearing a swim trunk similar to my current boyfriend's swim trunk but his was longer, like pants.

I looked at him and smirked, because I knew I was doing so much better without him.


Then I woke up.

I remember most of my dreams, I'm not sure whether I should think of it as something grateful or unlucky.

I've been practicing the art of lucid dreaming for the past month now. I've been having intense hypnagogia/sleep paralysis because of it. Every time I experience hypnagogia it's always so stressful for me. Before I become hypnagogic I always have a dream that I am just living my daily life when suddenly something goes wrong; For instance: I try turning on the lights in my room but they won't turn on and the room becomes dark, or in worst cases once I saw my brother hanging from the bathroom ceiling with blood everywhere, or suddenly I am talking to my friend and her skin starts melting, or once I opened my closet door and inside was pitch black and I heard some demonic voices yelling at me so I got annoyed and yelled back saying "f*ck you, you're hella annoying" and flipped him off (but then what ever it was got really angry and screamed at me). Anyways, after something goes wrong I go into sleep paralysis/hypnagogia. It gets pretty intense and scary sometimes but now I'm just really annoyed.

I realized after studying about lucid dreaming, dreaming and sleep paralysis, that it is nothing but a dream and now when I have nightmares I am able to control the bad situations and even the unsettling events that occur in my dream before sleep paralysis.
So yeah, if any of you have sleep paralysis/hypnagogia don't be afraid! You are just merely asleep and your mind shut itself off from your voluntary muscles so you don't hurt yourself while you move about in your dream. But you are still able to move your fingers and toes, so if you ever want to wake up just keep wiggling your fingers and toes and your mind will realize that you are conscious and you will wake up. Or try taking deep breaths because doing so will trigger your mind to realize you are not sleeping because your breathing patterns are different from your sleep breathing patterns!

Anyways, on to my first lucid dream..

I've been trying to make a habit of checking whether I was dreaming or not even in reality so that I might habitually do it in my dreams as well. What I do is, I plug my nose and shut my mouth and take a deep breath. Obviously in real life that is not physically possible, but I read somewhere that when you do it in your dreams, you can breathe even though both of your airways are shut. I've read that doing this in your dream state would induce one to become lucid. So after much practice, I had my first lucid dream about 2 weeks ago.

I was standing in the middle of an empty road and I did my reality check and what do you know! I became conscious that I was dreaming! Since it was my first time I became so excited I started telling everyone around me that I was dreaming (apparently this is normal for newbie lucid dreamers). I found it so spectacular that I could finally be lucid. I ran around and went up to random people (for some reason i dream of people I've never met before) and told them I was dreaming and that they were merely made up people in my mind. After calming down (thank goodness I didn't wake up), I walked in front of a white honda civic. I wanted to test my ability to control time. So I exclaimed to the man inside of the car to come out and shoot me with a gun. He looked at me kinda funny and didn't respond. I told him again that I was dreaming and that I needed to test time control so he HAD to come out and shoot me with a gun. He shrugged and came out of the car. I was so excited. He pointed the gun at me and shot.
It was amazing, at first it seemed like the bullet was coming at me at lightning speed, but only for a second. I then managed to slow the bullet down into ultra slow motion. I tried to pinch the bullet in between my fingers but failed. I told him to shoot at me again and the same thing happened. I did it a couple more times but with no success. Kinda bummed out I walked away and thought about what else I should do in my dream. I started to make my own music/beat and had it playing all over the entire city as if the music was coming from the sky! It was a pretty damn good beat too, I told myself to try and remember it when I wake up.
As I was walking down the street listening to my music, I created a cannabis store so I could experiment to see if I could get high in my dream. They had weed with a transparent-like rainbow glow to it. I took a few hits and continued walking down the street. I felt buzzed but not high.
I ran out in the middle of the street (there were no cars) and spun around 3 times to see if I would land in another dimension. Mission failed, and I slowly felt the dream falling apart. I tried focusing on my hands but ended up leaving my current dream.
All of a sudden I was in my bed. Everything was really bright. I did my reality check again and immediately became lucid.
I wanted to see if I could control having sex in my dreams.
I thought of my boyfriend and he appeared but looked different. He seemed much skinner than he is now and he did not seem too happy to see me. He wasn't intimate at all and was being cold and blunt. I was sad at first but realized he was only a projection and just a shade of my real boyfriend.

Then I woke up.