nightmare

Nightmare # 3 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background: I saw a picture of a baby duck and it was pink and stuff.

Nightmare #3 day: 08/09/14, time: 2:00- Am":
I am around dining area. I see guests, a girl I know from church, FN, and her mom. The father wasn't there. I looked on the floor and their is sharp objects, like needles and knives. I am trying to remove it. They said they want to stay the night. They went to our garage. A man shows up and the house got dark. We huddled up and he tells us that their is something else in the house. We start hearing something crawl on the ceiling, all across the floor. The man tells us that we need to hid any reflective objects. He wraps the knives with aluminum foil. He was about to throw it in the garage but I told him their is a family their. I go to my grandma's room and I see a creature on the floor. It had pink reddish skin that blended with its eyes. It had no hair. Its guts were hanging out. It looked like an unborn baby. It was disgusting, so I left the room. I then see the girl FN's father show up. I didn't know how he looked like so I made some stuff up. He came in a van. He raced off, the van opened up and it let out several babies with umbilical cords linked up to the van. They were being dragged on the pavement.

I wasn't really scared but disgusted.

Journal Entry Lucid # 58 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background: I meditated before going to bed. And I meditated after doing WBTB. I tried to become aware of my body and I ignored the little itches that the body gives out. I did fall asleep, without awareness. When I did my WBTB I woke up at 2:00 Am and I watched some movie. My parents are getting ready to start the day as always. I then talked to my dad and said to him, "Do you know what is so beautiful about the darkness?" He responded, " heh, nothing darkness is evil", he is a very christian man and only sees one way. Even though I know this will dissatisfy him, but I proceeded, "Darkness gives rise to possibility, only the imagination fills in the gap". He tells me, "darkness is bad..". I told him to look at it a different perspective and maybe he will understand what I mean. He didn't quite understand even though he claims to. Well you get the point.

WILD experience: I had a dream and I awoken from it. I kept thinking about the dream and I began falling back to sleep. I then hear the loud wind again. At first i was scared and the noise started diminishing. And I became sad, but then I resolved to myself that I will do it sooner or later. I stayed still. I felt like my hands were swinging. I felt out of control. I don't know if that was astral body or part of the dream. During all this I could hear the loud wind that was deafening and it got higher in frequency and it felt like needle that keeps getting sharper with the increasing of sound. I thought I can't do this, but I kept thinking about the dream I had to distract me. New images started to form, complex patterns. I could also hear sound now, no more pain. I think I came in with fear though. I hear laughter that keeps on distorting and getting lower in pitch. I saw blood dripping from the patterns. They turned into a pyramid. Then I hear a voice say to me, "Do want to meet our lord, Lucifer?". I thought this is only a dream, and besides I have to live by my words, I say to myself to face all fears. I then say yes. I see a book open and it was covered in blood. My body felt possessed and I squirmed around in the dream without my control.

Lucid Dream # 58, day: 07/03/14, time: 5:20-6:59 Am" Facing Fear:
I am now 180 degrees on my bed, sleeping where my foot should be. I see a clown, a lady clown looking at me, she had blond hair, She had a clown outfit but the colors were a little bit faded as if she has worn them for years. She said, "I am sorry it didn't work". I know it's a dream so I just looked at her. I could see that I am in my room, but it is still a dream. She looked at me and realized that I know. She said, "If you want to explore this place you have to put on a mask". I am still just thinking to myself, "no, mask is a representation of losing one's identity and replacing it with another". With that thought, she said, " okay you have to put on a scarf". She put it on me and told me to follow her.

As we were making our way through an office with little to no lighting. I am looking around telling myself be aware. I touch the desk to feel the texture. I would look at the wall for pattern and I am just occupying myself saying be aware that i am not truly experiencing the dream. The clown lady is standing next to the door like a SWAT person and she open the door slightly. I see a little girl in a bright pink room, looking frightened saying out loud to herself "Be aware. Be Aware." She is walking back and forth. I thought to myself what is my dream trying to tell me, the clown said calmly and slowly, "Calm down". I started settling in the dream. It felt stable. The clown disappeared. I wanted to see how the little girl responds to the change of my thought. I opened the door and I hear a short scream of something fearful, "Rah" and for that very second I felt a cold darkness come over me.

I am scared and I rocked back away from the door. I then calmly told myself to calm down. I turned and started walking away. I pass through door after door in a endless mansion. I started to become scared. I see the walls crumble. I thought to myself without being scared, "wow this doesn't usually happen in a dream of mine, it is mostly stable". I started to walk away. I kept telling myself that I got to get out of here. I see a friend of my sister, KE, and he is outside the house being dragged by strong wind. He tells me that I need him for some reason. I tried to use telekinesis to bring him back into the house. I couldn't the wind were blowing really hard. And objects in the house started to throw themselves at me, a lamp, a vase, etc. I used telekinesis to stop them but they kept coming. I then found a slide looking thing that leads outside.

I see a man climb out of it. Towards the slide and he slides back down. It looked like he is having fun, even though I had hell in there. He actually wanted to come back to the mansion. I on the other hand flew up into the air. It is raining. I felt so relieved and i could think clearly now. I felt powerful. I then extended both my hands and used telekinesis. I created a barrier around me, I want to say spherical but since it wasn't visible and I know there was a force field because of the way the rain responded. The rain didn't touch me. I see myself in 3rd person perspective. I could see the water bouncing off of the shield, it bounced more at the top*. I am viewing first again. Since I could think clearly I thought why did I experience that. I realized the conversation I had with my father, that was one. I also know that I came with fear from the start of my dream.

I told myself If I go out and have fun in the dream it would be preferable, but if I go back I could face a fear that I thought I conquered, darkness. I judged myself and called myself a coward, I agreed that I am acting as a coward at the moment but if I go back and face my fear that is what courage is, to face one's fear. I decided to go back. I flew back to the ground. Just a weird thing I noticed, I saw the clown but now she is a business lady. She started walking with a long coat on. She takes it off and now she is naked and begins to approach the other guy. I just ignored them for I had no interest. I went back to the dark room. And I opened the door. I see a lot of people cleaning up the place. I see Walter White from "breaking bad" with a bandage on his face. His face looked bruised like on season 3 after he beat gust. He was next to a pay phone. He calls Dewey from "Malcolm in the middle". He looked dead at me and he said on the phone with a serious tone, "Dewey (3 second pause) it is done". I then feel my body being dragged at an alarming rate. I woke up.

My interpretation: I think that it had nothing to do with darkness, but since I came with fear in my heart from the start my mind related it to the last things I saw.
I think the whole thing was about me facing fear not the fear of but confronting fear. And maybe the guy having fun on the slide signifies that I make the experience what it is, he was having fun while I wasn't.

*I love mathematics and after thinking about the way the water splashed; I think it make sense that the water splashed more at the top of the force field because the top has the most amount of surface area that comes into contact with the rain. The side would just brush the water and the bottom doesn't really exist. I am just amazed at the details that dream present themselves. It truly is fascinating that something creates without us straining our mind.

I just realized that the clown lady could be Harley Quinn from the comic books. I never knew she had blond hair.

Journal Entry Lucid #26 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background:I meditated before going to sleep. I told myself I could have a LD but it is ok if I don't have one just as long as I could remember my dream.

Dream fragment 3 time 4:07am-5:20am"":
I drove past an accident. A van hit another van and one of them went into a ditch and couldn't get out. The driver laughed at him and left. I see a man on a motorcycle that saw it. He sees a cop nearby. He drives up to him and jumps off the bike. The cop was taking off his helmet. He wasn't prepared for the motorcycle. Out of fear the cop took out a baton and beat the man. The man tried to explain to him what happened and pleaded for the cop to stop. The cop stopped hitting him when they noticed a building's on fire. The motorcyclist jumps right in. He opens one of the lockers inside the school and found this child inside. The child had shorts on, mushroom haircut and a dirty shirt. They praised the motorcyclist for saving the kid.

I walked back inside the building after the fire has subsided. I go inside and I open the locker, and I see this old man pale dead inside. They looked stiff as if they have been stuffed. I then see another and another. A man was at the door. I asked him how could they do this to a human being legally? He said "they could only do it if they do it legally". I thought oh that makes sense only if it is legal. As I was walking out the school. The child showed up and walked inside. The father was screaming saying who let my child enter the building. He is screaming about how he is traumatized. I walked inside and he said, "thank you for saving me, (in a deep voice), BUT IT IS NOT ME THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED."

It became clear the little boy was behind the killings. He levitated knives and threw it. I started running. Their was this green and purple monster with him. As I was running kid said in distorted voice, "what's the matter?!". I then said I don't want to watch this movie any more I don't want to have a bad dream about it. I woke up.
I see these two people sitting down talking about the "movie". They argued, "why would the child kill all those people" said the cowboy, the other one said it is because he is evil". I realized it was a dream and I started to rub my hands. I went to the void. I woke up again. I see the two people upon seeing them I became lucid again.

One of them says to another, "he is not evil", the monster came out of the closet, and disappeared. It became pitch black again. I was angry that I ended up at VOID. I then hear a voice the monsters, "Prove to me that the boy wasn't evill all along" he said this to the cowboy.

The environment changed. I was at my school. I was upset and angry that a DC has more power than me. I wanted him to understand his place. So, I levitated him and threw him. He pounded me. I levitated him again and tossed him, and again. He said stop it and transformed into a small fly. I told him to watch himself. The cowboy and the other guy started flying. The monsters were right behind, as fly. I then followed them. I flew close to the trees without touching them. I was happy that I could have this level of control. I landed to stabilize. When I started to spin my body around, the dream started transforming. I see geometric pattern. So I started to rub my hands and it started coming into focus. I see these children in a red and black spectra.

They had weird geometric patterns on them. And finally it was cartoon. I see the kid walking to a girl. He asks her to dance with him. She says ok. They started dancing innocently. The other children started pointing and saying how could she be with him. She didn't mind at first. Then she started moving away from him. The scene started getting dark. I see the kid looking down at the ground sad and angry, alone.