DarkestDarkness

11th March 2021

Content in spoilers mostly due to length.

Spoiler for Fragment::

In a town that's an altered version of where we live now, but a mix of old home too.

The street where we live joins with a wider and busier street. H has left the car on the road of this street. It's daytime, before noon or so, shadows are slightly cast but it actually feels like early afternoon perhaps.

I get concerned about the car getting hit; it looks like dad's car, but I don't realise this at all in the dream. I don't think H is actually nearby but we're talking, as if he was next to me; not by phone or anything. And I ask him if he wants me to move the car for him, but he doesn't want me to because he's afraid of me hitting something, specifically when reversing, which I think I imagine doing. Imagination blends with regular dream reality?

Nearby, there's a store. I go in it for a reason I don't recall anymore. It's a mix of several types of shop, or also a cafe? I feel awkward because I'm not really making use of the services/shop and so eventually I want to get something. I want a milkshake. I am asked what I want in it and I say I want pineapple, mango and carrot.

(tiny recall gap)

Then, I am somehow shoulder deep, sort of lying down, in some ice inside a chest freezer. But I'm relaxed and don't feel cold at all. A white woman with ginger-ish hair, looking native to where we live, comes by and politely asks me if I want the carrot peeled or not. I say, I do, and she smiles compliantly as she goes outside my field of vision.

I then turn a bit and see she's peeling it with a knife. I perceive she's doing it in a way dangerous to herself (motion away from her) and so I tell her that she doesn't have to put herself at risk like that and that it'll be fine with the peel on, actually.

But she insists in peeling this carrot. I remember the knife was like an orange-coloured one we have in our kitchen, but this blade was a different shape, a bit curved and scimitar-like?

She had to stop as there was a big change now going on, of the staff shifts at this place. Lots of people came downstairs, many went out, many came in.

(recall gap)

Later I'm at a place that is like a converted industrial building. Like many other local buildings in the dream, it's mostly sandstone on the outside, but looks more regular/contemporary inside.

(at this point I turned my recall into scraps because I became distracted as I wrote notes)

I live at this place with H and my siblings. There's also a lady, maybe in her 40s or 50s, who's here with us too. She doesn't resemble anyone I know personally but in retrospect she's a bit like a mix of Cruella and Effie Trinket. This white and skinny lady wants a bathroom put in, because apparently there isn't one. I have no problem with this and think there's a spare room at the other side of the house, but actually there isn't, when I go check.

I go back with her and inspect the hall cupboards she'd mentioned initially as a potential location. I open the door to this cupboard/pantry room and it's huge. It'll be more than fine for a bathroom, I think.

In a corner, there's a bin bag. There's a strange pile of stuff that looks like decomposing organic matter and not unlike animal detritus... There are eggs on it, they are a pale and slightly off yellow-green colour.

The lady fiddles with the bin bag. From this organic pile and under the bag, bugs start to hatch and rats appear. First a few, then many. We end up leaving the house.

Some rats have green fur. Many are the size of a large dog, or bigger. All of these creatures swarm (seemingly) randomly through the town throughout the rest of the dream, but this aspect loses focus in the dream and becomes part of the background in some sense.

I end up meeting up with L and there's some aerial scripted camera view-event. He's playing a game and I remember a screen. There's a weird filmic transition.

Rest of recall is gone.

---

Spoiler for Notes::

- I ended up feeling this dream was quite personal in some ways but I don't think I'll restrict its viewing in this case.

- Maybe the most notable thing is that later this day I had an experience that seemed to relate to something which I ended up reading up on about defecation and rats, in one of my books about symbology. Although normally I don't ascribe a lot of direct value to pre-defined symbolisms like what I read, but it does seem to relate strongly to some aspect of my life. This is something that's part of a very old set of questions for me and its processing has been very slow, to the point where it's been very rare to have threshold moments like this one.

- It's possibly one of the very few times I've dreamt about rodents, if at all. I feel there was a big symbolic implication of (assumed) filth in that pile, as denoted by the eggs too. From another point of view, from such filth there is still life that thrives and is born of itself. On a more basic level I find this relates to a more basic interest in literally dirty things that I have no eagerness to become involved in while fully conscious.

- This dream has come after a few significant things, namely, artwork I've been making for someone, which involved a rodent, as well as discussing things about dirty stuff (again, in the most basic and literal sense) with H and basically forcing myself to challenge my own conscious attitudes of avoiding mess and filth and so on.
-- More importantly, recently I have found myself re-evaluating how I'm presenting myself and my artwork. I had created a separation not unlike what I have with DV and the rest of myself and instinct and intuition are telling me, or driving me, to tear this separation down in my artwork and to stop sharding myself in that respect; to become whole in some sense, with whatever consequences that may have. Oddly, this has also come after some unexpected discussion with L.

- I haven't had any dreams featuring bugs, and pests like this in general, for quite some time and in this dream I did not feel fear or disgust at any of these situations; some mild curiosity, if anything.