memorable

I am in a retreat setting. There is a guy who has arrived back to meet both me and Louise but also of course continue with his meditation. He has climbed to the highest mountain in Spain and is prepared to put all his differences aside and get back to the thorough job of meditation. He is so joyful and full of respect for us even though he is so much older than us. We are in a small flat like area that is not the usual setting I am use to in retreat. There is an office out the back and a social area in the middle.

We move to an actual retreat and we are sharing about different aspects of our life. We eventually get into a meditation and and after a short session there is a chance to look at some of items on display. I am helping out with the displays and as I get some of the items ready a lady my friend Bernie Jeffrys notices the pain or trapped nerves in my shoulder. She puts a healing hand on it and I go into meditation. I can feel my breathing lightly in a one-pointed way and even when one of the retreatants come up to me asking me about the products I do not answer as the focus and the healing seems so important. The pain moves further up in my shoulder. It has shifted and Bernie looks at me with soft eyes and I say that really helped the pain has moved on to a new stage.


Brian is explaining to me about all these different ritual items. I think he is just talking to me one to one. He starts also explaining the Christmas tree which should be a dream sign but he does it so convincingly I believe it. There is something really magical about the tree as he explains it. When a look back there are lots of other Sangha members at the meeting.

Slept in a different place than usual as I was saying. This is a very good place for dreaming and lucidity. My mind did not shift into dreams at all. When I was asleep it just held the same place as I was when I awake. I was very still. I was nervous about relaxing and going of into dream cause it was a new place and I also had a killer headache all night which helped me focus my attention on the present. There were a couple of times when I knew I was asleep but was still I in the same place that I fell asleep in FA and so could have gone off into dream and explored whatever. However I was very happy just to be there and on retrospect this was very helpful. I am always saying how dreaming is not dreaming it is lucidity and here I really experienced that and I am working towards a dream goal of meditating when becoming lucid because I know all the adventures to be pointless, from a dream yoga point of view, and just reinforce bad worldly habits. The next time I am going to trust the lucidity more and do some meditation methods. Looking forward to snuggling up in my new spot again soon. And the stary sky that you and patience were talking about. TOTALLY know what you mean it is like the roof comes of my head and there is so much space and the place where I am sleeping becomes totally safe. Happy Days

Vegetarianism

I was hanging out with my friend who has kindof dumped my recently IWL partly because he is going through some serious stuff with his own family and he is having a change of lifestyle. I am kindof happy this is happening because his attitude is different from mine. He likes fast cars, alcohol, cigars and women whereas I do admit I like all those things too but would rather not go there. So he was there and I think this hightened my awareness in the dream because he was running after wasps hitting them and then squeezing them but they would not die properly and were flying over to me to sting me. I was trying not to get angry even thoough the situation was crazy. I started telling him that if we are nice to beings in the world we can make a big difference but he just continued on. The next thing the same story just magnified into a full on War. I was protecting a group of people while a chopper landed in front of us. A load of men came out with full armour and some kind of machine gun I had never seen before. They captured the people and I managed to get away. They were not looking for me they were looking for the indigenous people to wipe out the spiritual culture and bring on the industrialisation. It was an Avatar type thing. I was suprised at how brave I was and not a bit scared. This makes me think that I must have had some level of lucidity but not recognised it was a dream. This is still taking things a little too seriously and fighting for a cause. I have a sense still that there is something to change and not fully in the dream. I then ran up a number of floors in an office block to let them know and try and find someone official. Of course this is a classic dream sign of running around in circles and not becoming lucid.

After my lunch I fell asleep and had a WILD out in the countryside. I kept telling myself "When I am dreaming I will know I am dreaming". I woke up a few times knowing I was dreaming as I seamed not to be stabilising. Then I fell asleep again. I could see my son Matthew and my ex-Wife Melissa. Melissa was giving me a list of instructions on what to do when I was minding Matthew while Matthew was looking up at me smiling with not a bother on him. Matthew is 8. I looked into his face and then I knew I was dreaming. There was something about the twinkle in his eye and as I stabilised myself looking at him. Melissa had finished giving me the instructions and had gone away so immediately I said to Matthew would you like to go flying. He looked puzzled but then he said ok. So a grabbed him in my arms and flew up into the sky. I could see the clouds around me and could feel the height we were at. Then I remembered about the black hole. Probably last months task but anyway it is meaningful to me. I told him we were heading up to the black hole and he looked puzzled again but said ok. We went up into space and found the black hole quite quickly and kinda disappeared into it. We were in there for a while. I wanted just to see what would happen next. Now this is when I realised that dreaming is not dreaming as the whole of our perception including ourselves turned into the Buddha in the form of a golden statue. I stayed in that state lucid for some time not very long and then opened my eyes. All my thoughts had stopped and I was one with nature looking up at the sky. I then realised that the whole point of dreaming and waking life is to understand this and stay in this reality. The lucidity in daily life and dreams becomes much more vivid and I am able to understand and see everything clearly. This is definitely reality free from personal interpretation. A flower is a flower and a tree is a tree without any other stories going on. So dreaming is not for dreaming but for being fully present in the dream and daily life.[/SET_ANCHOR]