Cynical

December 7, 2011

Ok, this is probably the coolest dream I've ever had. This dream kind of mimicked It (telling the story of the event in the past and the present, same enemy in both.)*

Kevin and I were playing video games at my house, talking about the old days. We had both agreed there was something that happened before we went on a camping trip one year ago, but we couldn't figure out what the hell it was.*

While we were talking, I texted a few friends, thinking they'd know what it was. No replies.*

"Hey, Kevin...want to head to the church?" (Our Scout meeting place is at a church, and there's a pretty big shed we also use behind it.)

"Why? What good will that do?"

"...If we both agree something happened on a camping trip, wouldn't it be a good idea to check out the place we store our Scout camping crap in?"

"I guess. Bring pocket knives, though."

"What's the worst that could happen? It's nor like we'll have to kill things, and we probably couldn't hurt anything with these knives."

"We could always split the money on a sword. They are pretty cheap and could do some damage..."

"Kevin, STOP TRYING TO BRING LOGIC INTO MY DREAM"

We walked out of the mall with three swords, getting strange looks while doing so.*

"Hey, Tim. Is there any reason you have two swords?"

"Nope."

"Fair enough."

We reached the church a second later, and*approached the shed.*

As the door came closer, the background music grew louder.*

"Kevin. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"What, kick ass?"

"No, run into a shed yelling incoherently."

"I'm positive."

"HIV positive?"

Both: "YEAHHHHHHHHHH"

As I lifted my foot to kick open the door, memories flooded my head.*

"This weekend, one year ago"

We were all at a cabin. The same exact one we were in on our last camping trip. Everyone on that trip was in the cabin, looking around nervously.*

"Hey, dad, what's wrong?" I asked.*

He replied, "They're here...in the poolhouse!"

Kevin, TK, Kait and I walked into the aforementioned poolhouse, expecting some serial killer. Instead, there was a giant black portal.*

"Kevin, you see that portal?" I ask.*

"No shit," he replies.*

"Let's run into it."

"Whatever."

The two of us ran into the portal, arriving in a strange place. Everywhere there was a metallic covering. In front of us was a giant door, with the words "DO NOT DISTURB" printed on it.*

"Hey, Tim, you got those sunglasses?

"Of course. Here's your pair, Kev."

"Why are we wearing them?"

"Because they're cool."

"Sigh," Kevin sighed.*

As the door opens, lightning bolts strike us. We are infused with the power of the elements, and I could choose two out of three attacks: "flame Throw", "Lightning Storm" or "Ice Mice". Of course I picked the first two.*

A giant dragon greets us, "Good moooooorning!"

We killed it in three seconds.*

"That...can't be it," Kevin points out like a character in a shitty horror flick.*

The earth rumbles, and thousands of demons start shuffling out of the walls and ground. Suddenly, all of us are in**the church parking lot. The demons are coming from the she, and everyone else on the trip was watching us from the smaller part of the church.*

"Kevin, let's light shit up!"

Kevin looks at me, visually disgusted, and slaps his palm to his face. (A facepalm, if you will.)*

The sky turns purple, giving our lightning powers a pretty good power boost.*

Unfortunately, the lightning also went out of control. While the demons' numbers were considerably diminished, everyone we camped with was also disintegrated.*

**We ran toward the horde of evil, with swords made of fire. Everything we touched turned to ash. Kevin and I made a bunch of fire related puns (Hey, is it hot in here or is it just you? You got burned!) and I think we got about 500 down.*

Then Jesus thanked us and flew away.*

*Present Day*

"Kevin, please tell me you also saw that."

"Yeah...that was awesome."

"It made no sense! How could they have died a year ago when we saw them yesterday?"

"Open the door. We're gonna give them quite a shock," Kevin said with a smirk.*

The same exact scene played out, but we used lightning instead.*

Jesus didn't show up that time.*

"All the smoke from the fire you used last year caused you to hallucinate," Kevin said.*

I woke up, wishing I could relive it.*