CordeliaDivine

So, it's been weeks, maybe a month, since I've had a lucid dream. I even bought a book on lucid dreaming, Lucid Dreaming, Plain and Simple by Waggoner & McCready. It's super informative btw. For some reason, I started having difficulty in LD'ing where I hadn't before and I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Then I realized that I hadn't been daydreaming or imagining story scenes for my writing in a while, and I started doing that again. Last night, I finally had a Lucid Dream!

The scene leading up the moment of lucidity was weird. I was in a garage trying to pick up some gumball machine I'd won and I look across the garage and I see myself sitting at a table. Myself was watching me and I was staring at her hard. Suddenly she gives me this slow nod with a slick smile, like, "Yeah, this is it." and I realize that I'm dreaming!

I start getting super excited and suddenly, she (Myself) whips some golden Marvin-the-Martian looking gun out at me and threatening or warning me. At the time I didn't understand what she was doing so I ignored her saying, "Girl please, I know that isn't real." And kept on walking past her. (Now that I'm awake, I think what she was trying to warn me about was getting too excited because in the book I've been reading, it specifically says to not get excited in a lucid dream otherwise you'll lose the lucidity.) I walked outside and I was on Aspen Way, which is my parents' street. I look down at my hands to regain focus. (Another tip!) and was surprised to find that I actually had 10 fingers. I decided to test my "faith" in my dream. I didn't attempt flying, but I did walk up an invisible stairway. But my legs started feeling funny, so I stopped walking up and just started walking down the street on air. I'm walking down my neighborhood and I'm passing houses that I know aren't on my street. I think, "This isn't right, but the houses are nice." I keep walking down the street, passing some Alice in Wonderland theme house. I think aloud, "Now that's cute!" I continue walking into the woodsy area, up to a cottage. But then... I WOKE UP!!! I felt my boyfriend roll over in the bed beside me and it woke me up. Frustrating, but hey! I got there!

So, I don't think I've ever had this happen before, where I waver in and out of a Lucid Dream. So, this entire entry is one dream sequence and there are times when I know I'm dreaming and then I forget and then I realize I'm dreaming again. I don't know if that's happened to anyone before, though I'm sure it has, but these are all DILD.

So, the dream started off in weird dream fragments, where I was showing off my new apartment to friend. At one point, it was super crowded with people and I was yelling at these hyper kids to go outside and play and then they turned into dogs and cats and I was trying to kick them outside. Then the apartment shifted into like a second story gazebo. There were people partying around me in the gazebo and people partying below me on the ground. I remember the floor of the gazebo kept shifting on me: one point it was solid wood, then it formed holes, then looked like a poorly made trampoline with a sandy, wood-colored finish. The ground was wobbly like a trampoline with holes and tearing at the seams, and I was trying to tread lightly so it wouldn't break; I feared that everyone was going to fall through. I think I LD'ed for a split second because at one point, I was trying to imagine the floor being solid wood to fix the shifting issue, but it didn't work. I don't know why I would be focusing on the floor if I didn't know I was dreaming. So, anyway...

It's nighttime now in my dream and I'm back inside an apartment instead of a wobbly-floored gazebo and I'm hungry for dinner. So, I decide to go get pizza hut. I'm suddenly inside a pizza hut and I guess I had called ahead because I just paid and grabbed the food (pepperoni pizza with buffalo wings and ranch!). I pause to check the bag and make sure that everything is in there. Then I start heading towards the front doors. There is a short flight of stairs leading to the front doors and I see a man walking in. The man was seriously handicapped. In real life, he would have had, at the very least, a cane to walk with. His hands were gnarled and deformed as well as his feet. He leaned to the side and struggled to walk. He was thin, tall, white, brown hair, and glasses. He literally looked like a walking Stephan Hawking. Seeing this man struggle to walk by himself broke my heart, so I went up to him and offered to help him. He appreciated the help and I let him lean on me for support as we walk together down the handicap ramp and into the line. The man told me that the reason he was so disfigured was because he had done hard drugs all his life: heroine, cocaine, meth, etc. The other people in line started talking trash about him once they over heard he'd been a serious drug abuser. "How could anyone live their life like that?" "That's what happens when you throw your life away." "No wonder he looks so messed up."

I was about to go off on these bitches (they were all middle-aged ladies standing in line), but the man suddenly became a young hippie woman with long curly hair (no disfiguration at all) and she started cussing everyone out in line. "Fuck you guys! You don't know my life! How dare you judge me!" etc. So, I figure she can handle herself and I'm walking away from the drama back towards the doors when I realize that "Hey! Wasn't that hippie woman a man I just walked to the line? What's going on here?" Then it clicked. "Ah! I'm dreaming!"

So, in my last journal entry from yesterday, I advised myself to focus more on the details of the dream before I start summoning DC's in order to make the LD last longer. So, I did. I looked around the pizza hut. I tried to read one of the hand made signs, but it read jibberish. I walked outside where it was nighttime in this big city. I'm trying to make out the details of the faces of the people that walk past me and I catch a big (I mean BIG) guy with a red shirt, shorts, his baseball cap on backwards, and I could tell he had a bit of facial hair. (In fact, now that I think about it, he looked like Phil from the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead) But when I look at him, his face is blurred out, like a censored person on a TV show. So, I run up to him, calling, "Sir! Sir! Excuse me! You dropped some money!" I just said that as an excuse for him to stop and let me get close to him. When I could clearly make out the details of his face, I moved on, confident in my control of the dream. I observed the city I was in: tall black buildings with purple, sinister clouds in the background and a storm coming through. It looked like it was going to be a nasty storm, but the sight was beautiful! Here's the best example I found online:



So, everyone starts running to escape the storm, so I run too. I turn a corner and it looks like the storm swept the edge of the dream because before me in the distance, it was nothing but thick black and purple smoke and from this smoke, people began forming and solidifying. It looked like they were running from the storm as well. So, I don't know if this was the edge of the dream creating DC characters or what, but I wasn't about to run towards it, lest I wake up. (Any thoughts on this btw??) So, I ducked inside a nearby building. It looked like a large office building, multiple floors and the ground floor was a large waiting room with plenty of chairs, couches, and people who'd also run inside to escape the storm.

Here, I think I stop LD'ing because I begin to think that I'm going to be spending the rest of the night in this building to wait out the storm. I find an empty couch with pillows where I could lay down for the night and a middle-aged white woman comes up to me accusing me of stealing the spot from her, that she was going to sit there and I was being rude by taking up the entire couch. I got so mad at her, I yelled, "Fuck off, bitch! There are plenty of other chairs in this room if all you want to do is sit!" I said, "If the room starts to get really crowded and there's nowhere else to sit, I'll move." And just like a spiteful dream, the room instantly filled up with people and I was forced to sit up and share my couch. So, I'm unwillingly part of some circle of women, all of whom were older than me, ranging from 30-45 years. I was clearly the youngest and I felt out of place. The women were just yakking away, chit-chatting about something or another and I was definitely uninterested. I was ignoring them, listening to my MP3 player and I knew they thought I was rude/snobbish because I wasn't participating in conversation. One of the women mentioned that she was a cartoonist or something like that and I lightly chuckled because I thought it was a cool occupation, but the lady next to me thought I was snorting at the woman and she started lecturing me. I suddenly perked up mid-haranguing. "Oh yeah, that's right!" I thought, "I'm still dreaming!"

So, I stand and stretch, about to explore the dream again, when I see the ladies are playing some poker game, gambling whatever they had on their person: Pens, nickles, granola bars, etc. So, I decide to play a hand for no good reason, just so they wouldn't find me a rude snob. I gamble my buffalo wings from Pizza Hut that I still had with me! I'm dealt three cards: 2 of diamonds, 2 of hearts, and 2 of spades. They were small and I immediately noticed that they were double sided, so everyone could see what everyone was holding. I even asked the lady, "We can all see each other's cards?" Like, what's the point in gambling? No one else had a problem with it and I had the best hand. I laid down my cards and yelled "Full House!"
which wasn't entirely true because the cards changed from triple 2's to a 7, 5, 2 of different suits, but I knew it didn't matter because I was dreaming and I decided to leave this pathetic game and start doing some dream stuff.

I actually took some time thinking about which character I wanted to summon, which I usually don't. I just shout out the first name that comes to mind. I couldn't decide if I wanted to summon Tomaki or my granddaddy. (Today is his birthday. He passed away when I was 7). Tomaki, for the record, is a shape-shifter, so I didn't put much effort in trying to imagine his form. I figured whatever form he decided to take, couldn't be a disappointment; it'd just be a surprise. So, I called out his name, "Tomaki? Tomaki, are you in here?" There was a staircase next to me and a figure began to descend from it. I remember getting antsy, waiting to see what form he would take, but when he approached me, I was disappointed nonetheless. He looked like an old, thick-bearded fisherman in a yellow raincoat and rain hat.



I slouched and said, "Tomaki, really? This is the form you're going to take?" and he said, "Yeah! Why do you keep doing this??" Like it's my fault the DC didn't come out right. -_- I think this happened because I was thinking about my granddaddy, even though the DC tomaki looked nothing like him.

I had two very short LD's last night attempting to summon a favorite character from a book series I read called the Bartimaeus Trilogy. For the past few days, I've been telling myself that I was going to summon Bartimaeus as a character next time I LD. I've been looking at potential photos, trying to really get the image down in my mind.

The first dream, I can't remember the story leading up to the LD, but I do remember walking down this dark road in a forest, I was trying to fly, or take off flying, but then I suddenly realized that I was dreaming and instantly I start doing a little happy dance like, "Score!" (I'm super excited about this btw! Ever since I began making this a focus, I've been LD'ing more often, which was my goal). So, I remember that I'm supposed to focus on Bartimaeus and I'm trying to picture him coming down the road, while I'm hovering above ground on a...towel. But he doesn't show up. I immediately loose control of the dream and right before I wake up, I have a short dream fragment of me flying in the air with Bartimaeus next to me in the form of a cicada.



I had several dream fragments in between, nothing memorable. At one point, I woke up and rolled over to my side facing the window and I enter into a nonlucid false awakening. I opened my eyes and looked out this small window of light surrounded by darkness and in the window, all I could see was a tree branch surrounded by daylight, so I thought it was time to get up and start my day. I put some shoes on and grab a bicycle and start pedaling down the road, but it wasn't my usual road. It was the route I used to take to school back when I was a kid living with my parents.

So, I'm pedaling to the nearby woodsy park and I'm biking around this family who'd stopped to take a picture of themselves. It was an elderly couple with a child and a college-age red-head, daughter. So, I'm pedaling past them, but the daughter is running to keep up with me. I turn back behind me for some reason and I see the rest of the family collapsed on the ground. So, I run back thinking they're dead or fainted, and I call after the red-head girl, who turns out to be Lindsay Lohan, to notify her of her fallen family, and she says, "Aw, man! My alarm clocks are broken again!"

I was so confused. "Alarm clocks?" I asked. She said, "Yeah, they're not dead. Those are mechanical people." So, I'm helping Lindsay carry these "alarm clocks" back to my house so she can get them repaired. As we're hauling these mechanical people up the road, I call my Granny P (ha! remember her from the last dream?) and let her know what's going on. I even call my mom she knows to expect me and Lindsay carrying these bodies up the road.

The road we're going up is called Haltom Rd. Along Haltom Rd, are brick walls that separate the street from people's back yards. Lindsay and I pass by this area on the ground where there was a ton of different fruits: strawberries, oranges, apples, grapes, fruit of all different colors. So, I tell Lindsay that we can't pass up this opportunity! That we've got to take this home. Just wash them in the sink and they'll be good to go! So, we start collecting all this fruit in our shirts and these random bowls that appear out of nowhere. (Don't know where the mechanical people went.) All of a sudden, one of the brick walls open up like a door and some Willy Wonka looking man steps out, accusing us of stealing his fruit. Lindsay and I look at each other, drop the fruit, and run.

So, this strange man and some of his goons are chasing us down the street. I turn a corner to try to loose them, which I did, but all of a sudden, I was lost. I could not figure out where I was on a map; nothing looked familiar to me, but everything was detailed and vivid. Then, I suddenly realize that I'm dreaming! "Yes! Score! Twice in one night!" I think to myself. So, I try to summon Bartimaeus again. I sat down on this grassy area and watched the road like a hawk, waiting for him to appear. But he walked up behind me with some other young boys and sat down in the grass in front of me. For a second I wasn't sure if it was him or not because the "handsome youth" form I'd been focusing on was a little distorted, but then I asked, "Is this the best that you can do?"

"Yep," he said. And I woke up.