task of the year

I'm reaching about near the same amount of weeks that it took me to get lucid last time. Since then though, I've only realized that I must've been dreaming about 2 to 3 times up until now. If I could do it without trying then I can do it more often then I know, simple as that. As for my recent dreams, I've been keeping track, and writing them down on a note book. I'll update this Journal when I get the chance. This is just me checking in.

DreamLucidAwake

Sputnik TOTY and Advanced TOTM

The earliest thing I can remember is falling out of a portal and flipping onto my back. I landed in the middle of a forest on the grassy floor. My dream guide Krystal then hopped out of the portal and landed next to me. Portals, Krystal, and a forest were enough to convince me I was dreaming. I got up off the ground and asked her, "Where are we?".

"Russia," she said.

"Soviet Russia?" I asked jokingly.

"Yes, and you'll be going to space," she said seriously.

"Wait, what?" I said confused.

She guided me through the trees to an opening in the forest. There was a launch pad located there. On top of the launch pad I could see some sort of pod or satellite that looked like a lot like Sputnik. Off in the distance I could see a couple towers. I was assuming the people in the towers were the ones who would launch Sputnik and observe it. Krystal climbed up a ladder to the top of the launch pad and I followed her.

We walked under Sputnik and she stopped to give me instructions. "There is a certain book I need you to find that can only be found on an alien planet. The book will be marked with the symbol of a circle and a plus sign on the left side of the circle. This satellite will take you to that planet," she said.

"Isn't this a little much for for a book?" I asked.

"It's a very valuable and ancient book, so please do this for me," she said.

"Fine, help me get into this thing," I said.

She pressed a red button on the bottom of the Sputnik. A hole in the pod above my head then opened up. She lifted me up into the hole and I climbed in. It was a tight space full of wires, buttons, and screens. Krystal then summoned my cat and tossed him up through the hole. I caught him and he started purring.

"Your cat is too much trouble, so he's going with you," she said.

My cat hissed at her and she growled back at him before closing the door. After 10 seconds or so the Sputnik started vibrating and I knew it was about to launch. I held on tightly to my cat as I felt the G forces on us increase. It stopped after a few seconds and I had a feeling I was in space. I looked at one of the screens and it was showing what was outside of the satellite.

We appeared to be revolving around the Earth pretty fast although I couldn't feel it. The sputnik flew out of orbit and started moving towards another planet that looked kind of like Earth. After a couple minutes we entered this new planet's atmosphere and fell towards the ground. As I started to fear a crash landing, I looked around for a landing button. I took a guess and pressed a yellow a button. The speed of the Sputnik slowed down a lot until it landed lightly on the ground.

Now that I had landed I wanted to get outside and look around. I couldn't figure out how to open the door again though. The door then opened seemingly on its own and I fell out of it with my cat. I looked up to see that a girl had pressed the button on the outside of the Sputnik. She looked similar to a human, but there were a few differences. Her skin was a kind of pinkish purplish color. Her hair was a dark blue color and she had pointed ears like an elf. The girl also had a tail.

"Hello?" I said to her confused.

"Hi! Are you an alien?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah I guess I am," I said.

"That's so cool! But why are you here?" she asked.

"I'm looking for an ancient book with a circle plus pattern on it. Can you help me find it?" I asked her.

"I'll help you if you take me to the festival this afternoon," she said winking at me.

I had a feeling she was hinting a date to me. I then remembered that one of the tasks of the month was to go on a date with an alien. So of course I agreed to go on a date with her.

"Sure, I'll go with you," I said to her.

She smiled and helped me get up off the ground. I looked around and realized I was in a forest. These trees weren't like Earth's though. They were full of all kinds of different colors and held many strange fruits. I won't go into detail though because unfortunately I can't remember them in detail. It would probably take me a long time to finish talking about them if I could anyways.

My cat soon jumped on top of me and rested on my head. The girl then guided me through the forest and the dream scene skipped after about 10 seconds. We were now inside a town walking down main street together. The town looked very similar to Loudonville during the time of the fair. There were many people walking around and enjoying themselves at the festival. The women on this planet all had characteristics like the girl I was on a date with. The men were also similar, but they had blue skin and red hair.

There were different kinds of vendors set up on both sides of the street. Carnival rides and games were stationed around town. There was a lot of confetti and balloons floating around in the air.

We visited a food vendor that was serving a weird pink goo in a cup. I have no idea what it was called because their written language was different. The sign had 2 small circles with a triangle above them. I bought each of us a cup, even the cat. I pulled a silver coin out my pocket and handed it to the man. I'm used to buying things with silver or gold coins in my dreams.

"What's this?" the man asked.

"That's a silver coin. Silver and gold are very valuable where I come from," I said.

"I'll keep it as a souvenir to remember this year's festival!" He said.

We started walking down the street again while eating the pink goo. It tasted like cherry and it was a bit sour. We talked about some things, but I forgot most of what was was said. I do remember that she told me her name was Stella though. She also said she would now show me where I could find the book I was looking for. She walked inside a building that I assumed was some sort of library. She quickly came back out with a large brown book that had the circle plus symbol on the front. She handed it to me and I slipped it into a backpack I just noticed I was carrying.

To be fair with her, I continued the date we were having. It was pretty fun. We walked farther down the street, we came to an intersection. A parade was taking place there. A lot of exotic music was playing as they went by. After about a minute though, one of the marchers saw me. He realized I was an alien and apparently he doesn't like them.

"Alien!" He shouted and pointed at me.

Everyone in the parade then stopped and stared at me. They too started shouting "alien!" and gave me angry looks. I had a feeling I wasn't welcomed by them and that they might turn hostile.

"It was nice meeting you. You might want to run now," she whispered to me.

I took her advice, held onto my cat, and started running back up the street. The parade chased right after me when I ran of course. I ran away a pretty good distance from them before my cat jumped out of my arms. He ran over to some girl who seemed to be taking in the scenery. The odd thing was, this girl was a normal human girl. She crouched down to pet him and he was happy about it. I wasn't too happy about it though because we still had to run. After calling him a few times he came back to me. I remember I ran back towards the forest, but the dream faded away after that.

Helen's Eruption TOTY

I was walking down a dark tunnel with an orange glow at the end. I walked closer and closer to the light until I came into an opening. I was inside a cave where in front of me lied a lake of lava. Some distance into the lake I could see a large piece of land above the lava like an island. This certainly wasn't an everyday thing and it caused me to wonder if I could be dreaming. I used my personal reality check where I simply try to feel whether I'm in a dream or not.It was successful of course and I became lucid.

I activated my dragon sight ability to zoom in and look at it in more detail. Over there I saw a pink dragon sleeping next to a large treasure chest. She was only about 2 times my dragon size, so I assumed she was still young. There were many large crystal formations growing out of the ground on the island. I saw a man who appeared to be some old sage or wizard resting against a large crystal too.

Past experience has told me it's not a good idea to mess with a dragon who's guarding treasure, let alone a sleeping dragon. I still found that island to be the most interesting thing in my dream however. Despite the dangers of it, I decided I would attempt to go over there and have a look around. I leaped forward over the edge of the cliff and transformed into a purple dragon. I then flapped my wings and started flying over the lava. I was aiming to simply turn into a black dragon, but I turned into a purple one with little effort somehow. I'm more powerful as a purple dragon though, so that's good.

I flew over to the island and quietly landed behind a crystal structure. I wanted to be very stealthy as long as I was hanging around a sleeping dragon. When I stepped back out into the open, the dragon quickly awakened even though I didn't make a sound. She opened her eyes and stood up, looking down on me. The sage also awoke and he approached me.

"What are you doing in my volcano?" the dragon asked me.

"Just looking around and exploring the world I guess," I said to her.

She growled at me and apparently didn't trust me at all. Probably a wise choice since I have the habit of stealing treasure. The sage then placed his hand in front of her to make her back off.

"Helen, where are your manners? Hello, I am the great sage of this volcano. This is Helen, my dragon friend who is the guardian of the mountain."

"I'm just a wandering dragonborn. It's nice to meet you," I said to him.

He then came closer and whispered to me, "She's not the type to let you out without a fight. Look for a powerful orange crystal hidden in caves. It will make you powerful enough to defend yourself."

He said this with the intention of helping me of course and to keep Helen from killing me. Helen has very keen hearing however and seemed to have heard every word of it.

"Like I would ever give you the chance of defeating me!" she yelled.

The crystals around the island started to glow brightly. Helen was clearly absorbing their power and planning to attack. Helen charged up her attack and then released a beam of energy from her mouth towards me. I quickly dove to the right and rolled out of the way. The energy beam appeared to be made out of plasma or lava. Very fitting for a dragon who lives in a volcano I suppose.

Helen flew up above the island and started shooting more lasers at me. I was just barely able to dodge them and I was having a hard time planning my next move. Then out from behind a crystal structure my dream guide Krystal ran out into the open. She had two clones that she had made with her on each side. The two clones jumped up into the air and kicked and punched the dragon. The real Krystal ran towards me while Helen was distracted.

"You do not know anything about stealth!" she yelled at me.

"Sorry, I'm clearly not as good as you." I said.

Helen swiped the two clones with her claws and they disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. I grabbed onto Krystal and started flying away from the island with her. Meanwhile, Helen started controlling the lava around the island and sent a large wave of it towards us. When I landed back on the mainland of the volcano, I quickly turned left and ran into a tunnel with Krystal. The lava started flowing into the tunnel so we kept running. After exiting the tunnel I noticed another tunnel higher above the ground with an orange glow. I grabbed onto Krystal again and flew up there to get away from the lava.

We took a moment to rest in that cave. As we were resting I remembered that there was an orange glow in there. I looked around and found the orange crystal that the sage was talking about. I grabbed the crystal and absorbed its power. I felt a lot of energy inside me and felt confident that I could defeat Helen.

"I'm going back to fight Helen. You should be able to find a side tunnel out of the volcano while I'm distracting her," I said.

"Alright, I can sense light up ahead, so I should be able to find a way out. Please try not to die when you fight her," she said.

"I'll do my best," I said.

I ran back the direction we came from and Krystal ran further down the tunnel. I came back to the lake and quickly flew over it back towards the island. Helen was already expecting me and started shooting lasers again. It was a bit easier to dodge her attacks now that I had the freedom of flight. When I came to the island, I landed on it to dodge one of her lasers. I ran across the island towards her. She aimed another laser at me, but I countered it with a powerful ice breath. The collision created an explosion. I jumped through it while focusing all of the crystal energy I gathered into my fist. I punched Helen with an explosive force and she was launched into the wall of the volcano.

It definitely wasn't enough to kill her, but she was dazed by the attack. This bought me some time to escape. I realized that the main exit of the volcano (the top) was actually right above the island. I started flying straight up above the island as fast as I could before Helen could get another chance to attack. Suddenly the volcano started to erupt and I still had a great distance to fly before I would reach the top. I soon did reach the top though and I climbed up onto the snowy summit.

Just as I was starting to slide down the mountain, I noticed a very large bulge in the side of it. The snow started melting away over it and I realized I wasn't in a good position. I quickly surrounded myself with a shield of fury energy as bulge exploded. The shield protected me from most of the explosion, but the blast sent me flying down towards the forest below. I braced myself for impact and put all of my energy into defense and shielding. I crashed through a tree and hit the ground hard before sliding through the forest and knocking down several more trees.

When I finally stopped rolling and sliding across the ground, I took a moment to regather my thoughts on what just happened. I slowly got up off the ground in pain, wondering how the hell I survived that. I was bleeding in several places and aching all over. I didn't die though, so I was happy for that. I looked back up towards the volcano and realized that it was Mount St. Helen. Everything suddenly made sense after that. I even started laughing because I thought that was kind of funny.

I leaned back up against the tree and started healing my wounds. My vision was already getting blurry by this point though. I knew I would wake up very soon.

DreamLucidAwake

Basic TOTM

I was walking down a dimly lit hallway in some creepy old house. From one of the rooms I could hear the sound of a man crying. It walked into the room and it was very dark. I saw the crying man sitting on the floor holding something broken. Though I never met anyone like him in waking life, I recognized him as a friend in the dream.

The idea of crying over a broken object was completely silly to me. So I sat down next to him and started crying to make fun of him. His crying was contagious though and I couldn't stop. Another man who I recognized as a friend walked into the room and he also started crying. My crying turned into laughter for a moment because I thought the situation was even more silly. I quickly went back to crying however.

Chris then came running into the room. I quickly became lucid after seeing Chris because I of course recognize him as my main dream guide. He had this really crazy excited smile on his face and looked like he was about to explode with energy. He ran in waving his arms and holding giant muffins. Chris then handed me a vial filled with an orange liquid that sparkled. I had a feeling he wanted me to drink it, so I removed the cap and took a sip. It tasted kind of sweet orange juice.

I stopped crying and my vision started to get blurry and warped. When my vision became clear again everything was brighter and very colorful. I also got an extremely happy and funny feeling. As I started walking around this new world, giant muffins as big as my head started popping up out of nowhere. This is sort of what I imagine being high is like. My vision also reminds me a bit of the new "pyro-land" feature on Team Fortress 2.

I looked at the other two guys and noticed they had also taken a sip of Chris's potion. They had really crazy smiles on their faces and I probably had one too. They were also prancing all about the room while collecting muffins. The mood of the dream was right for it, so I did the same as them. I started eating the muffins and they were very delicious. I think I ate about 3 of them. The dream began to fade as the effects of the potion wore off.

Television Transmission TOTY

Unfortunately I can only remember the later half of this dream. I was already lucid and I was walking around a dimly lit mall. It looked like it had been abandoned for ages. Not a single person was in sight. Everything was filthy and broken. Plants were also starting to grow into the mall from the outside.

I walked up the stairs of an escalator that was no longer functioning to the second floor. It was most likely due to the building no longer receiving power. On the second floor an electronics store consisting mostly of TVs caught my attention. I peered through the window glass to look inside. It was dark and full of broken electronics and a complete mess.

As I was looking through the glass I felt someone's presence to the left of me. It felt like Chris's energy. I turned to look at it and I saw Chris stepping out of a portal in the wall. We didn't say anything, but yet it still felt like we had exchanged greetings. Chris pulled out some sort of electronic panel out of a backpack he was carrying. He pointed it at the store entrance and pressed a few buttons. A blue particle field quickly formed in front of the store entrance.

Chris mentioned something about this being a time field. It became obvious that he wanted me to walk through it. I probably would have walked through it even if he told me not to. So I stepped through the time field and felt a strange vibrating and tingling sensation. The store also change from dark and destroyed to bright and well tended. I looked at a sign that read, "Grand Opening!". I had apparently traveled back in time to the early days of the mall to when this store first opened.

There were still no people around there except for Chris who followed me through the time field. I looked around the store and it looked like they were only selling very old TVs. Well old in our time anyway. Everything in the store seemed to hint to me that these were the very first TVs to exist. "Want to see the very first TV show?" Chris asked. "Sure," I said.

Chris walked over to a TV sitting in the back of the room. He flipped a couple switches and then turned a nob until images started to appear. There was no color and no sound to it. It looked as if two ghosts were moving around the screen. I wasn't quite sure what they were doing. The transmission ended after about 15 seconds. Chris then pulled out what I assume was a checklist and marked something off. "Well that's another task out of the way!" he said. It must have been a list of the tasks of the month and tasks of the year.

I wandered around the room some more and played with the time field a little. There wasn't really an objective in the dream anymore however. The dream started to fading after Chris marked the task off the list. I can't seem to stay in dreams long after completing whatever goal had been set in the plot.

This one is written down on my lil note book that I keep under my pillow to write this stuff down. This was last night.

There was a toy store that I went to with mom and my brother jonathan. I know that I have seen this place numerous times in previous dreams before. Jonathan was off trying to get something in the back. Meanwhile I was looking at a few toys that brought back a bit of nostalgia. We purchased what we came there for and left. But mom and Jonathan went in a different car. I drove in another car and followed them. until a certain point when I lost track of them some how and was following another car. After a while the car pulled over after the driver became clearly aware that I was following her (I thought she was mom sue me ). A lady came out of the car. She was clearly frustrated that I was following her. I looked out into the dirt lot area that we pulled over in and I then realized that I was lost.

The dream switches and I'm back in another store. I'm a little...how should I put this?... I was a little "gitty", a tiny bit hyper. But it was enough of it to make me want to do something stupid and out of character. I saw a fish tank with a bunch of little see through fish and a few gold fish in it. It was just standing there on the far side of the super market, in an appliance area it looked like. Then after a bit of staring I break the fish tank thinking it's funny (I freakin love fish, why would I do that?). But then the owner comes out and becomes frustrated.

The dream switches, but I get the weird feeling that I left to an apartment where a girl is at. and she talks to me about voices and personalities inside me that compelled me to break the glass. But then a visitor that was related to the fish tank incident arrives I'm in a panic and I hide because I know that they want money to pay for that tank. After the first encounter, they leave, but a person later comes back with a gun and winds up shooting me. But as the dreamer, I didn't want to die so I changed the outcome a bit, (the alternative outcomes came all at once though). I was also able to look at other alternatives. So instead of him just shooting me dead right there, I changed the outcome so he shot me in the gut instead, thus letting me live. But the other alternatives to that was that I went down wrong after being shot, so it wasn't convincing, or that I was breathing, and he caught me. Either way, those alternatives would've ended with him coming up to me while I was on the floor and shooting me repeatedly.

Now as I sit here and type this, you, the reader, are probably wondering to yourself, "why would this guy get shot over a fish tank?" Well here is why; apparently the owner had ties with some kind of mafia, or he was dealing in some kind of crime gang. How I knew it I don't exactly know, I just got a feeling. But as the dreamer, I realized something... the mother frackers just shot me again. But hopefully that wont matter in a couple months because if I can stay true to it this time then They will diiiieeeee HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!

Before it took me a total of 3 weeks to become lucid. But I've been crazy busy as of recently, and I finally got through the worst part of my life. So now I'm hoping that things with my eye can return back to normal. I've also been dealing with college and I've found a pattern that I may be able to work off of. So I'm hoping that I can get it this time with in the two month time limit that I set for myself. I also have a better personal reason for coming back...again, Shadow man has not returned, nor has any kind of indication or hint. This is good because it was around the same time that my eye surgeries finally ended (give or take a couple years). I read Sun God's post on my forum and the patterns do line up (again; give or take a couple years). I want to find out why shadow man was there for all of those years, nothing more. The frackers that keep shooting me can be dealt with later, and the disturbing dreams I had before can be tossed away now. All I want to know is what Shadow Man was, or is. And if he represents any problems in my body that are under the radar, then can he come back? And I hope I can pull it off this time. If I had any other reason other than obsessing over him then it'd be because I think lucid dreaming would be a fun thing to do.

Over there,
Where a vacant lot densely filled with tall weeds,
Stood a tall tree for decades.
Villagers nearby had a strange story of a lost child, strolling;

“Ma… where are you?”

“Ma… I miss you.”

A motherless child blankly cries for its mother.
People tentatively speculate
An abandoned corpse lies beneath the tree,
Waiting and wandering

Mama……

A small tree at the time of a child’s death
Burgeons into a luxuriant tree.
The taller it grows,
Higher and farther a child visions.

Mama……

Avoiding and whispering
Supposedly about the damned tree.
Villagers feel the eerie note to a child’s voice;
Enamoring adroitly.
A warning goes into one ear out the other,
I look up for this infamous tree.

At the top its companion
There is a child wearing a raggedy straw hat,
Incessantly gazing at one place;

Mama……

A pitiful child with
Lingering attachment and memories
Still has eyes full of tears

As I climbed the glacier that I used to climb every night, I think hard about the task at hand. Once I reach the top, I am at my school. There is nobody there - which is odd - as I walk around, I hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing. I come to the quick realization that this is because I did not want to adventure tonight, I simply wanted to complete the tasks at hand. I decide to have some fun and fly to my house (I tried flying with wings for the first time; I prefer no winged flight) in order to fall asleep and dive deeper within my subconscious. When I fall asleep in my bed, I wake up in a very old room. The room seemed like it could be in a castle somewhere, but the technology in the room seemed out of place, since there was a Brownie Camera (the first TOTY) sitting on top of a small wooden desk. Directly in front of me, was a mirror. I could see what I was wearing: A black spy suit, with a hood over my head (very splinter cell-esque) and the camera in my hand. I took a picture of myself looking into the mirror with the camera. Since this is a dream, the camera functioned like a Polaroid camera (I actually have no idea if this is how the actual Brownie Camera functions) and instantly gave me the picture. There was no dimension in the picture, it was simply flattened and very 2-D. The strangest part, however, was the fact that I was not in the picture. The mirror did not show my reflection, but simply what was behind the camera, which was a picture of a knight in a suit of armor. After I put the camera down, I knew it was time to enter my reflection. As I got closer, I could see the outline of my body slowly shake. I put my hand inside of the mirror, and I felt a cool sensation. As I went more and more inside of the mirror, the sensation grew, until I was fully emerged in a cool liquid. When I opened my eyes, I noticed that I was surrounded by water now. I could see the sunlight above, and swam towards it. Around me, there were icebergs and nothing else. I quickly teleported to safety, and awoke from my slumber.

Background

Note: Keep in mind that this Journal is for me to record my dreams and look back at what adventures I've had. It's not meant for you to read, but you can still read if you want. Just know its not meant to convince anyone of anything, I don't care.

My little brother found a powerful spirit (we nick named him 'Mask' to protect his identity) in the spiritworld that he made a deal with. The deal was: My brother would go through 5 fucked up zombie dreams and Mask would give me full lucid dreaming abilities. Last night, I could sense Mask waiting for me in my dreamspace, but I had a bit of insomnia and finally fell asleep at 4:00. As the night grew later and later, I could sense that Mask was getting tired of waiting for me to fall asleep and had something to do. My assumption is that he slightly altered my dreamspace/mind and left, like a make shift bong (no I don't smoke).

The Dream

(This part isn't lucid) So I was at my cousins' house on the 1st floor. Apparently it's my birthday, so my uncle points to the sliding-glass door and says there's a surprise for my out there. Something about having sex with my step aunt (don't ask). So I go out there to see if he's for real and there's nothing out there. Just a hose and a mini pool. He starts to bolt for the hose, and I start booking it around the house. I vault over a small picket fence and turn the corner around the house. At that point he kinda sprayed me. I looked around the corner and saw him coming with enough cord to reach around the corner. For some reason I was tired, but I ran around to the other side of the house. Telling myself to keep going just like a Marine, even if Im tired. For some reason I jumped to the ground just as I crossed the corner. I had to force myself to roll over the backpack I was wearing. During which process, he sprayed me a little more.

I went into the garage and the fucker finally ran out of cord. But I know he was just joking and stuff. From the garage, I walked into a hallway that was in the house. I think I force jumped up to the second floor, next to the stairs. I landed laying down on a hallway, with railing next to me. Looking up, I saw the third and fourth floors. The hallways, doors, and family walking around, just what I could see from my vantage point.

At that point I realized I was dreaming. I got excited and thought of the real world for a second, but remembered that would wake me up. So I focused on the dream itself. Then I remembered to stabilize the dream. I said out loud, using will," this dream will last for 100 years." I acted quickly on the stabilization and said the first high time limit I could think of. I walked around for 3 seconds and woke up.

I went straight back to sleep and had another 5 second lucid dream. That process repeated 2 more times. Totaling about 4 lucid dreams with an average time span of 4 seconds.

Debrief

I was hella excited I finally got into lucid dream, but kinda pissed it lasted only moments. The lucid dreams toke place at about between 12:00 pm to 4:00 pm. Later, I talked to my brother and Mask in real life (yes I talked to a spirit). I gathered that Mask left before I fell asleep, but left me a little lucid-dream-juice, if you will. And that if I go to bed at a decent time tonight he'll come into my dream and teach me everything about lucid dreaming and fully activate my lucid dreaming so that I naturally have lucid dreams instead of regular dreams.

Just as the title says.

The Green and White Snake
I recall this dream starting outside, it was during lunch with everyone outside. There was some commotion, I guess some kids had happened on a snake or something. I walked over and was amazed by its colors, generally don't recall ever hearing of a white and Green snake ya know. I noticed some people decide to throw a few rocks over to which I move over to shield the snake from, eventually I just picked up the snake n walked away. I recall then being in some kind of pet store, there was a woman that worked there (based off her khaki attire) showing me this kind gel like substance, saying that the snake would enjoy the use of it on her scales (I guess the employee knew the snake was female). And that was pretty much the end of that dream

In the Bush
This one I believe started with me just kind of walking through some jungle landscape. Eventually I came upon a solo velociraptor, (utahraptor size) Fileromie scale.png - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I wasn't scared or anything, ended up following it to some kind of hut/in the ground kind of home. Became a little bit of an interesting dream from that point, so i think i'll leave it at that.

Death of meh mum
Pretty much just that, I recall that she Had died, now how, and the funural/service. The weird part of it all was that her head seemed all shrunken from view.... like it was there, but even though it was.... it was to small to see... freaked me out when I woke up back when I was so young, ended up sleepin on the couch waiting for my mom to come home from work XD

Choice (graphic, gore)
The oldest, and still kind of disturbing dream I can recall having, was way back when I was little. It was a rather dark one in my opinion, specially for being in early elementary school. It started with what seemed to be my mom, asking me, whether, because for some reason one of had "to go", which one she should choose, me, or my older brother. It was a fucked dream from the start, I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to die, I in my age told him her since he had experienced more life than I. Then I remember her asking my older brother "which one?" to which she pointed at a spoon and a serrated knife. Well I guess the means of taking his life was to be disembowelment, because I remember my brother asking if he could have something to eat, and being told that doing so would only lead to a bigger mess.

I've had someone recently suggest that lucid dreaming may be dangerous, because were not letting our mind dream as it wants to, as in showing you things you need to see, to "decompress" of which he says this is just him theorizing off of his own logic, nothing more. I'm sorry but I'd rather not decompress then, cause dreams like those leave you not in a good state when you awake, mainly because they are the True Nightmares, the ones filled with disappointed/dead family/friends. Ones within reality that you cannot see to be false during a sleep state with an untrained mind.

Even the ones of war and undead, the ones I play games of when I get bored, even those have become tiresome, because they are a waste. Sure it was nice in the one where I was with a group, despite not being able to put faces to them, that I was able to help them for the brief time I was with them. Sadly the majority of them are me by myself, just moving at break-neck speeds, stopping to grab this or that and then onward.

I just.... want to go to peace ya know. Just a nice day up on some grassy knoll, with the single tree on a bright sunny day, maybe some coconut chime in the back-round clanking occasionally, calmingly. Shit maybe even have a picnic, nice large white sheet out on the ground with a bottom-less basket filled with all the noms you could ever want. Maybe when we finishing eating well say who cares for the mess of the white sheet we've left, n just decide to paint on it, as to hang it later for remembrance.

http://bit.ly/N5CU7j - The One Tree Hill | Flickr - Photo Sharing!

Just something nice ya know.

Unless Everyone just starts dying, I don't think it'll get worse from here. Ended up having to fight off someone close to me literally, cat got hurt so I had to take her to the vet, from which we are now trying to deal with a 1000+ bill for..... and then after all that... I discovered someone very very dear to me had passed on.

The dreams have been fleeting, specially with staying up to feed n take care of our second kitten.... like the first its made sleeping at night not really doable for someone like me.

After the fight..... that night I had dreams of someone else, my step dad, slamming me into stuff in his bedroom in the dark, like.... a printer, computer desk.... I just remember yelling out to my mom to stop him before I start fighting back. Then that dream went to one of my actual dad, and I was in a vehicle with him arguing.

Only other dream I can recall having right now was one from last night where my bf's mom came in and asked him to fill out some paper work and he just shook his head and said "nope, don't really feel up to". Which just reminds me of how he was telling me how annoying it is when she or her family, or some friends of his always ask him to fill out disability or unemployment forms for them..... not really any kind of significant dream.... but thats pretty much it.

Been doing multiple reality checks a day now, I've a reason to go into the lucid stage now more than ever. Didn't get to say goodbye to him, never thought I'd have to, someone so nice, considerate.... giving. Regret not telling him sooner my feelings, by the time i found out he felt the same it was to late. On one hand due to the butterfly effect things could have been different, at the same time, if i'd been with him and they were the same..... I cannot imagine how I'd not follow him. So I am here, and he may or may not be somewhere I hope I can visit. Dream character or not, anything for one more memory.

Will let you all know how that goes.

I'm thinking about compiling all of my lucid/semi-lucid dreams and making a section in my DJ. I haven't really been trying to LD recently, and I could probably increase my numbers if I attempted WILD and WBTB techniques.

Goodnight, fellow dreamers! I'll let you know of my subconscious adventures tomorrow

Here I will post my dreams, both lucid and non-lucids. I shall try to keep orders with lots of tags and so on.



Colour coded for your convinience:

Non-Lucid
Semi-Lucid/lacking in clarity or stability.
Lucid
Notes/thoughts/clarifications/interpretion is in regular black.

I dreamed I was auditioning for a role on a TV series called Murdoch Mysteries (background: The Murdoch Mysteries is a TV show which takes place in the 1890s. Its about a police Detective named William Murdoch who uses what is back then new methods of investigation. That is so well known to those of us in the 21st century (Ie. finger printing, blood splattering,handwriting). There are 5 seasons and will be a six.). This next part is where its gets confusing. I know I was still in the dream. But I can't tell if it was part of an audition or as part of the show itself or not related at all. I think it was part of an episode. I was in a white night gown (I think the character was pregnant) and I was in a brownish mansion. I was on the landing of the grand staircase kneeling. It was dark and I could see my hands were tied. There was a man in front of me with a gun. He kept raging on saying that I (the character) wasn't the right person to raise the next Christ. Or he didn't want Christ to come back as an infant. I believe the mansion was a school since behind the guy there was some 11 year old girls.

LD23 My brain was not wanting to let me suceed at LDing last night. I reached HIs twice but could not initiate an LD until my 3rd attempt at the 9 hours of sleep point. I had put in ear plugs as it was 10 am by this point. It reached a solid atonia with HIs in about 20 minutes, but it then took about an hour of gently trying to start an LD for it to work. I had been at a point for half of that time where I could feel myself move around and even dance around but the HIs would only form ghost like clumsy images that were almost not there. I could say that all of this stuff counts as a low grade LD, but I won't include it in the duration of the dream; it was just warming up.
Finally a dream started to form and I could honestly feel as if I were there moving around and looking at things. I wanted to watch the atomic test for the task of the year thing. I created an image of a field and a trench with men in it. I heard a voice (by expecting to) do the count down. I saw the standard blast and cloud thing and my mind flashed the classic images of the buildings getting shredded. I was disappointed with the effect. Every thing was black and white, thew soldiers looked like shadows, and the whole thing seemed more like just watching it on tv. I decided that I would not count this as completing the task. The task thing is not a competition, but a fun way for people to get ideas to challenge themselves. I had wanted to experience the atomic test and this was more like watching old footage of it.
I decided to let the dream go free form for awhile and get random DCs and plots, until the imagery had intensified. The random HIs came back and I played with things like skating alond through it, turning into a snake, turning into a bird, and spinning around in circles. A forest had appeared but was very dream like and not vivid. I spent about 3 minutes doing every stabliizing technique I could come up with. I felt with my hands all the magor body joints and rubbed them. I looked very close at small objects like the gravel on the ground. When I looked up fairly clear scenery had evolved.
This portion of the dream I let randomly take me through a story with DCs. I was at a university. I went inside and people I apparently were friends with are all gathered. They were talking about things we should do. I only caught on something about hosting an event and serving lots of food. The crowd broke up into smaller groups and I tagged along with one. We wentthrough about 3 dream scenes in various parts of the college and I mostly just watched. I wanted to do something more interesting, but decided to see where this would go. It then turns out that terrorists are planning to attack the school and we are FBI types in disguise looking for clues. I went around trying to get close to the football players when one asked what I was doing. I looked down and was holding a big mass of floopy spegetti noodles. There we go,some real randomness. I pretended I was making shoe laces out of them.
At that point I decided I would go back to trying the atomic task again. I turned into a bird and flew up above the hills. I circled few times then saw a big plain beyond the hills and there was a structure in the middle. I landed over there in human form. I went to the structure and blended in with a group of workers who were inspectin a giant artillery shell suspended from scafolding. I floated up and ran my hands along the tailfins and the rivets. Then I teleported to the trenches were people were ducking down and giving thumbs up signs. Every one was wearing sunglasses. I got in the trench and the count down started. I realized I wanted to be out there in the blast and jumped out of the trench. I could see the buildings they constructed to get blown apart, I appeared over there..
The bomb exploded and a wave of force hit me and the buildings. I felt myself flying backwards and getting shredded into powder (vaporized) but it was fun, not painful. I reformed my body and jumped off the force wave and flew to where the cloud was starting to shoot up ward. I grabed it as if it were a big tree, and it yanked me rapidly skyward. I plunged through the mushroom top of the cloud, and this was like being pulled under white water rapids. Then I was on top of the rising explosion and at the same time could see the mushroom cloud from the side. It spread out under me and stopped pushing me up.
I realized my real body was having a problem, I felt like my mouth was very dry and trying to wake me. I focused on the atomic cloud to try and save thedream, but then I ended up coughing and woke up. Dur~20 minutes

LD 21: I tried a couple WILDs but had finally drifted off after the second one. I had got deep into some HH effects and started to be able to visualize my hands, then some how started a non- lucid dream that I don't really recall. I aproached a door at some point and a big lion came running out past me. I jumped back and did my levitation RC. Yep, I floated up into the air. I had that feeling that I was about to wake from the shock, so I decided to do something memorable as quick as I could. I turned into some kind of big cat but only as a image of a cat. I did not spend time with the transformation to really feel like a cat. I ran straight up a wall as a cat then pushed off doing a back flip and landing where I started. I quickly did it again. The very bazaar experience seemed to accually stablize the dream. Random imagery had place a big bath tub full of water in my path. I never tried to change back to human, it just happened when the tub distracted me. I said out loud to no one inpaticular, that I would make a geiser happen (water-bending) I focused on the sirface and as I pictured my energy reaching out and grabbing the water, it started moving around. I made waves and a big slaps rise out of the middle, I did the whole thing again. I said out loud, "see that's pretty cool." A womans voice responded, "that is not really a ggeiser, now is it?" Ok I put more focus into bending the water into a real geiser. I worked and looked good; it was about 3 feet high bubbling out of the tub.
She says "Ok, now what does that look like?" I lost focus and the geiser stopped, "it looked like a geiser." She asks, "why would your mind have randomly chose to do that? It is trying to remind you of something, think what it looks like." I made tthe geiser again and realized it looked like the base of an atomic bomb blast. OH! I had wanted to complete one of the tasks of the year, and had choosen to watch the atomic bomb test. Ok, how to go about it? I looked around and most of the scene was just unfilled in, so I tried to imagine what I should see. I knew they had trenches so I tried to some up trenchs with people inside and it started to form. Now, there would be something in the distance every one was looking at, maybe a small tower, plus they had cheap building set up to see the damage. All of these things started to form.
I suddenly was aware of my real lifee body and the pictures started to fade. I had never really to the time to stablize! Darn, I looked at my hands and rubbed my hands across my foore arms, they started to fade. I still felt a dream body so I tried dancing around blind pumping my elbows and knees. That kept me lucid for a few more seconds, but I ended up waking. Dur~4-5 min

Feels good to be back, expect some crazy dreams very soon. Will update with every new dream

Regular dreams will be posted in BLACK
Moments of lucidity will be highlighted in BLUE
Achieved goals will be marked with RED

DREAM GOALS
[] Fly
[] Jump extremely high
[] Hang out with someone famous
[] Hang out with Tyler Durden
[] Commit a robbery
[] Drive a car
[] Smoke weed
[] Visit my hometown
[] Breathe underwater
[] Exit one dream and create a brand new one
[] Create a portal
[] Play with my childhood dogs